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Inaugural Amud HaYomi Siyum on Masechta Berachot – Just One of the Many Highlights at a Dirshu Shabbat Convention Packed with Inspiration

Chaim Gold 

HaGaon HaRav Shimon Galei got up and grabbed the microphone. It was a totally spontaneous moment that left tears of emotion in the eyes of the thousands in attendance. It was in the middle of the Amud HaYomi Siyum at the Armon Hotel in Stamford. Hagaon HaRav Hillel David, shlita, had just finished speaking when suddenly, Rav Galei, grabbed the microphone and exclaimed, “Rabbotai! A siyum masechta is a time when there is a great eit ratzon in shamayim. Now is the time for all of us to daven for Klal Yisrael who are undergoing great difficulty and for all our personal tefillot as well.” 

Rav Shimon then began singing, “Shaarei shamayim Pesach,” a song where we beg Hashem to open the gates of heaven and shower us with bracha from His infinite otzar, treasure house of beracha. The tangible emotion and feeling of Rav Shimon reverberated throughout the hall and the crowd joined him, raising their voices in song. Soon, everyone was on their feet singing, davening. The emotion reached a crescendo and it was clear to anyone there that they were indeed tapping into a unique eit ratzon. The emotion, the tefillot, the tears that were shed, defy description.  

The truth, however, is that this exalted moment at the Amud HaYomi siyum was a microcosm of the eit ratzon that characterized the entire Shabbos Dirshu Convention this year.  

The inaugural Amud HaYomi siyum on Masechta Brachot, held on Thursday night in the Armon Hotel’s main ballroom, was a self-contained event that was open to the public, and the public came en masse.  

The event began with an important drasha delivered by Rav Hillel David, shlita, Rav of Kehillas Yeshiva Shaarei Torah, Yoshev Rosh of the Vaad Roshei Yeshiva of Torah Umesorah, and a member of the Moetzes Gedolei HaTorah of Agudas Yisroel. 

Rav David brought out the unique qualities of the Amud HaYomi, explaining, “When one learns the amud well and reviews it, it is a different amud. This simcha is not just your personal simcha, it is OUR simcha, a simcha for all of Klal Yisrael!” 

The Nasi of Dirshu, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, then delivered a seminal drasha. Rav Hofstedter shared a personal childhood recollection. “I was one of the few children of survivors who merited a grandfather who survived. When I was a child, we would go visit my Zeidah on Friday night. He would reminisce about the world of Europe that was no more. He would talk about the suffering during the holocaust and with great pain in his voice, would ask, ‘What did the Yidden in America and Canada do when they were killing six million Yidden?’ In an agonized, heart-aching voice, he would ask, ‘Were they going to the ballgames?’ 

“As a child, I remember thinking about the suffering of the Yidden during the holocaust and remember feeling sorry for those Yidden who could have done something, and had to live the rest of their lives with the knowledge and pain that perhaps they didn’t do as much as they could have…” 

Rav Hofstedter reached the climax of his drasha and passionately asked the audience that was listening with bated breath, “I ask with koved rosh and pain, ‘What are WE doing, when r”l, thousands of our fellow Yidden are being slaughtered and killed?! What are we doing when there are so many fresh widows and orphans, children crying for their parents and parents crying for their children, wives crying over the loss of their husbands and mothers crying over the loss of their children??!’ 

“There is so much that we CAN do! Let us take some responsibility upon ourselves. Let us here now declare, b’lev shaleim, that we will invest every ounce of our strength, our neshama, our hearts and accept upon ourselves to learn the Amud HaYomi! From Dan to Be’er Sheva, from Monsey to Melbourne, from one end of the world to the other, there should be no place where the Amud HaYomi is not learned with clarity, with chazara. Let us now be mekabel as one man with one heart! In this zechut, may we merit to see that Hashem is King and greet Moshiach!” 

Language pales when trying to describe a Dirshu Shabbat. How can physical words encapsulate something so spiritual, so intangible?!  

On Shabbos Dirshu, every shevet of Klal Yisrael came together as one – Ashkenazim and Sefardim, bnei Yeshiva and baalei battim, Chassidim and Litvishe bnei Torah – with no boundaries, only unity, achdut forged by the power of Torah, the ultimate unifier of Klal Yisrael. Upon entering the lobby, you were greeted by the sight of a Chassidishe yungerman bedecked with a shtreimel and white socks, discussing a complex Tosafot with a Litvishe yungerman wearing a short jacket and a tie. It was so normal because superficial boundaries do not exist at Mattan Torah where everyone is k’ish echad b’lev echad. 

Climactic Melava Malka and Siyum on Masechta Bava Kama 

After an entire Shabbos replete with chizuk and simcha, a Dirshu participant related, “I felt so full, so satisfied from all that I had seen and heard. Still, the Gemara says, that even when someone is satisfied from a seudah, there is always room for something sweet and the melava malka and siyum were sweeter than sweet!” 

Prior to the explosion of climactic dancing at the end of the melava malka, the assembled had the zechut to hear inspiring messages from the chairman, HaRav Zev Smith, shlita, Hagaon HaRav Dovid Goldberg, shlita, Rosh Yeshivas Telshe, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, shlita, Nasi Dirshu and HaRav Nissan Kaplan, shlita 

Rav Dovid Hofstedter made an impassioned plea that we rededicate ourselves to Torah with every fiber of our being.  

“It is not enough to perfunctorily learn Torah just to be yotzeh. We don’t just do the daf in a short amount of time. A Yid has to have a kesher with Torah, a deep, unbreakable bond with Torah! That is the essence of a Dirshu Yid! It is our responsibility to make a true kesher with Torah, not a blatt here, a blatt there, but to really understand, learn, chazar and retain what we have learned. That is why we are here!”  

Rav Nissan Kaplan hailed the Dirshu family for their unique bond with learning and their desire to learn and retain. “But,” he said, “there is still more to be done!” 

He called on the lomdei Dirshu to try their utmost to learn without breaks. The quality of the learning and its ability to impact the nefesh is infinitely greater when done with retzufos 

Rav Kaplan also called on lomdei Dirshu to invest special effort in tefillah and chessed. With the power of Torah, tefillah and chessed, our kehillah kedoshah of Dirshu can invoke such rachamim and transform the entire world! 

“The Taam of This Shabbat Will Remain!” 

Perhaps Rav Moshe Weinberger expressed the feelings of all present when he said during shalosh seudot, “I was introduced as the neilah of the Shabbat, the last speaker of the Shabbat. I beg to differ. I am the afikomen of the Shabbat! Chazal say, we eat the afikomen so that the taam, the taste of matzah should remain in the mouth. The taam of this wonderful Shabbats will remain in our mouths for eternity!”

Emotional Wellness – Just a Thought 

Rabbi David Sutton and Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R 

 

Before Adam HaRishon sinned, evil existed outside of him. The Etz HaDaat, the Tree of Knowledge, from which he was forbidden to partake, was a tree of good and bad. According to the Rambam, before Adam ate the forbidden fruit, while he had freedom of choice, his choice was between true and false, not good and evil. This is because evil was not inside of him.   

 

When we look at a sizzling steak, our mouths begin to water, our desires are aroused, and we want that steak. Before he sinned, when Adam HaRishon saw a sizzling steak, no craving was awakened.  

 

As the Nefesh HaChaim posits, there was no passion or concept of desire. It was like reading the nutrition information listed on the outside side of a food package. For example, if he was looking at a package of chocolate chip cookies, Adam would not even see a picture of the luscious chocolate chip cookie on the front of the box.  He would merely view a nondescript white box with dry nutrition facts: how many calories, how many carbs, how much sugar, and so on. When viewed in this manner, it’s just a question of true and false. If there is too much sugar in there, then it is not good for us and we will not eat it. It is a purely analytical way of looking at the box and making a decision. So, too, the mouthwatering steak did not make Adam’s mouth water. His decisions were not based on desire.  

 

It was only after Adam ate from the forbidden fruit that evil entered inside of him. And after this, sin, which is evil, entered inside of us.  

 

To illustrate: You are in your cozy bed, enjoying a blissful dream, when suddenly you hear the loud, incessant beeping of your alarm. One voice moans, “Oy, I want more sleep.” But then another voice interrupts, “You have to get out of bed NOW, or you’re going to be late.”   

 

Rav Gedaliah Schorr makes an interesting point. The voice that says, “I want more sleep,” is speaking in first person, whereas the voice that says, “You have to get out of bed,” is talking in second person. That means that we identify with our laziness.   

 

Another example: You are at a simha and you just finished a satisfying meal. As you head to the dance floor, you pass the sweets table and you tell yourself, “I really want that tiramisu.” But there is another voice inside you that counters, “Oh, no, you don’t. Sorry, Charlie. Don’t you remember you are on a diet?”  The voice of desire speaks in first person, while the voice of reason speaks in second person.  

 

What is happening is that we are identifying ourselves with our detrimental traits, with the evil. There are many voices inside of us, and we have to figure out who the real us is.  It is confusing. But it is our task to sift through  the many thoughts in our heart, and to make sure  that the counsel of Hashem will prevail. It is up to us to eliminate the static.  

 

One who experiences obsessive thoughts can find them so intrusive and convincing that it can become extremely difficult to differentiate between what is real and what is imagined. Experts on obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) often help their clients by guiding them to separate their intrusive thoughts from reality.  

 

The refrain, “It’s not me, it’s my OCD,” aims to increase awareness into one’s psyche, while giving the client the capacity to identify when his brain is attempting to trick him into believing something that is highly unlikely to be true. Those keenly aware of this struggle can attest that there is no quick fix, but that they engage in an ongoing task of training the mind to observe itself. Essentially, to think about thinking.   

 

 

TAKEAWAY

  When we pass an ice cream parlor, and the voice inside us screams, “I want that triple-scoop sundae!” we can remind ourselves that it is not us, it is our desire stealing our voice, grabbing the microphone.  Then we can tell ourselves that no, we do not want to eat that ice cream, no matter how tempting it may appear.  

 

 

Join the Detox Movement – Slowly

 

About a year ago, my husband and I realized we may not be running our house in the healthiest way. Sure, we weren’t doing anything out of the norm, but we began to realize that the norm, particularly in this country, can be quite harmful.  

 

From laundry detergent to snack foods, everything has got something unnatural in it. Unless a company made a conscious decision to produce a “better” more healthy brand, it’s likely they are adding preservatives to the  food to extend its shelf life, or are putting chemicals into products such as lotions to add pleasant fragrances. However, these additives may have long-term repercussions for consumers. If you look at what you are buying through the lens of staying healthy, you  realize that almost everything, to some degree, has toxic ingredients.  

 

You wish it was not that way. It’s pretty overwhelming to change everything all at once – but do you just give up? No! I will tell you that switching over to a healthier lifestyle doesn’t have to be dramatic, expensive, or scary. It’s all about taking one small step at a time to get to your ultimate goal of raising your own chickens and cattle. Just kidding! But seriously, if you’re buying a name-brand product, odds are you can buy or even make something much healthier for your family. 

 

 

Suzan Zayat 

 

I use low-pasteurized grass-fed milk. We do not have any  cereal in the house. I bake (and sell) sourdough, bread, bagels, muffins, pancakes, waffles, and more. I use grass-fed butter in my dairy dishes instead of oil, and I use bone broth in a lot of meat dishes. I switched over to Native brand [natural] deodorant and baby shampoo for kids. 

 

 

Evelyn Laniado 

 

I started using agave in my coffee instead of refined sugar, and avocado and olive oils instead of seed oils. I buy organic cereals and milks. I became conscious about how processed foods make me feel and how they affect my kids. In terms of organic, I don’t splurge so much on things that don’t grow from the ground. The ground is where most of the chemicals soak into things. So, if the vegetable grows underground, such as carrots, celery, and potatoes, or is a root vegetable, I try to buy organic. 

 

Natalie Nudelman 

 

I stopped using scented candles because of the dangerous fumes they give off. Instead, I just use a pot of water and throw stuff in it – like cinnamon sticks, citruses, and essential oils.  

 

 

Raquel Vogel 

 

Recently, I switched from Fabuloso to something with better ingredients, that’s a multi-purpose cleaner. I switched from using a typical chemical laundry detergent to a healthier option laundry ball that I found on Amazon. For my counters, my housekeeper makes a vinegar mixture instead of using all-purpose cleaner. The only scents you should have are from high-quality essential oils. 

 

I switched all my sheets from microfiber and random materials to 100 percent cotton. I also stopped buying clothing with poor materials from China. We don’t even realize the harm that comes from all these cheap materials. Our skin is the largest organ we have and it absorbs what you put on it.  

 

Yours Truly, Frieda Schweky  

 

Here’s a few changes I’ve made in my home over the last year. I switched from regular eggs to pasture-raised eggs. This alone is a huge switch and it made it a lot easier when I realized my go-to supermarket Aldi started carrying pasture-raised. And in true Aldi fashion, they’re high quality and for pasture-raised eggs, the price is awesome! I now buy organic milk, fruits, and veggies when possible.  

Instead of buying gallons of expensive (and toxic) laundry detergent at the supermarket, I switched to buying a “better” powder option on Amazon called Nellie’s Laundry Soda. It is made with only four ingredients, but it was very expensive. I’ve since found a simple recipe with only four ingredients. This recipe has been a game-changer. It is super easy to throw together and is very inexpensive. And yes – it really cleans my clothing! 

 

Homemade Non-toxic Laundry Detergent: 

1.5 C Baking Soda  

1.5 C Washing Soda (found on Amazon) 

½ C Epsom Salt 

¼ C Sea Salt 

Essential oils for fragrance (optional) 

 

It takes only three minutes to put together. I’ve never felt the need to add in the essential oils but if you love fragrant laundry, then by all means, go for it! 

 

We changed how we buy our meat, too. Instead of buying from the butcher, we began buying from different sources that supply grass-fed beef and lamb, as well as pasture-raised poultry such as chicken and turkey. These options are hormone- free as well. We buy in bulk and freeze what we don’t use right away. 

 

Next, we got rid of all our pots and pans that were covered in toxic non-stick coating like Teflon. We replaced them with cast iron, stainless steel, and ceramic-coated pots and pans. We also replaced our air fryer that had a toxic coating for a stainless steel one. 

 

We switched out our fluoride toothpastes (which also have other chemicals) to cleaner options. I switched from using acetone to remove my nail polish to a cleaner option I found on Amazon, which surprisingly works just as well. We stopped buying sugary cereals that had food coloring, tons of refined sugar, and a bunch of chemicals. We also stopped buying baked goods with a long shelf life, due to added preservatives.   

 

 

Melanie Falack 

 

Every year I took on something else kitchen-wise.  No more eating with disposables for meals in the house. Only glass dishes. Next, was no more cooking or baking in tins. Only glass, Pyrex, or real trays (not disposable). Those are examples of big things I took on each year. Small things were buying non-toxic cleaning supplies and personal hygiene things like toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, and soaps. I buy organic fruits and vegetables whenever possible. We buy organic dry goods and bottled/canned foods for the most part. But the most important change food-wise is to stay away from processed foods. It is best is to cook things from scratch yourself and eat real fruits, vegetables, and proteins.  

 

 

 

There’s really so much to be said about this topic. But I think the main point is to be a conscientious shopper and to pay attention to what you are purchasing for your family. There are countless chemicals that are allowed in our products and foods that are banned in other countries. Don’t assume the government is looking out for you. Be aware of what you’re bringing into your home. Changes do not have to be tackled all at once and it doesn’t have to be daunting. But this is really something to think about! 

 

Until next time,  

Frieda Schweky 

 

 

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @ friedaschwekyphoto. For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her at friedaschweky@gmail.com.

The Lighter Side – April 2024

Pesach Cleaning

Morris and Sam went up to the attic to help their mother with some pre-Passover cleaning. The boys uncovered an old manual typewriter and asked, “Hey, Mom, what’s this?”

“Oh, that’s an old typewriter,” she answered, thinking that would satisfy their curiosity.

“Well, what does it do?” they queried.

“I’ll show you,” she said. She went downstairs and returned with a blank piece of paper. She rolled the paper into the typewriter and began striking the keys, leaving black letters of print on the page.

“WOW!” the boys exclaimed, “That’s really cool – but how does it work like that? Where do you plug it in?”

“There is no plug,” she answered. “It doesn’t need a plug.”

“Then where do you put the batteries?” they persisted.

“It doesn’t need batteries either,” she continued.

“Wow! This is so awesome!” the brothers exclaimed. “Someone should have invented this a long time ago!”

Steven H.

Listen to Reason

“Can you play with me?” my preschooler asked.

“Not now,” I said. “I have too much work to do around the house.”

Taking my hand, and with the wisdom of one who has lived many a lifetime, he said, “Mom, I have advice for you. When people tell me to do work, I don’t listen to them. Then I don’t have work to do. It works for me. You should try it.”

Karen T.

Jewish Wisdom

Danny came home from yeshiva and told his parents that he was going to start listening to them more because he had just learned all about the mitzvah of honoring parents.

 

Impressed, his parents asked him if he had learned anything that might help him deal with his brothers and sisters. Without missing a beat, Danny responded, “Yes – you shall not kill!”

 

Frieda M.

PESACH PUNS

Why did the matzah go to the doctor?

Because it felt crummy!

 

What do you call a matzah that can sing?

A matzah-rella!

 

Why do we have a Haggadah at Passover?

So, we can Seder right words!

Dental Care

After cleaning my five-year-old patient’s teeth, I accompanied him to the reception area, only to see him struggle with the oak door.

“It’s heavy, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “Is that so children can’t escape?”

Rachelle K.

Bloody Awful

When my six-year-old daughter came down with a virus, I took her to the doctor’s office. Holding her hands, I explained the sad facts: “The doctor is now going to draw some blood.”

Calmly and stoically she responded, “Whose?”

Jamie B.

Boys Will Be Boys

Little Rachel was preparing for her first day of school, but she confided to her mom that she was concerned about how her cousin Steven’s behavior in the classroom might reflect on her. “He burps and screams, he won’t listen and he won’t sit still,” she lamented. “I’m going to be so embarrassed!”

“Well, how did it go at school?” her mom asked her when she picked Rachel up at the end of the day. “Did Steven do anything to embarrass you?”

“Oh, no,” Rachel replied. “It turns out that all the boys are like that!”

Martin D.

FSBO

When a real estate agency hadn’t sold our house, we decided to do it ourselves. I placed ads in the local papers, spray painted a “For Sale” message on a sign board, and posted it outside. When my husband came home that evening, he told me, laughing, that my sign was the most truthful one he had ever seen. Confused, I rushed outside to take a look. In my haste I had printed – “For Sale by Ower.”

Nathan H.

Clean Sweep

One afternoon, little Haim was playing outdoors. He used his mother’s broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it started getting dark, at which point he left the broom on the back porch and came back inside.

 

Later, his mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked little Haim about the broom and he told her where it was. She asked him to go get it.

 

Little Haim informed his mom that he was afraid of the dark and didn’t want to go out to get the broom.

 

His mother smiled and said, “Don’t worry, Haim. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Hashem is everywhere and He will protect you.”

 

Little Haim opened the back door a little and said, “Hashem, if You’re out there, hand me the broom.”

The Gutter Truth

Although my daughter wasn’t much of a bowler, when her friend’s bowling team was down a player, my daughter agreed to fill in. “So how’d you do?” I asked a few days later.

She rattled off her scores: “One sixty, one sixty-seven, and one fifty-five.”

“Wow! That’s great.”

“Not really. One game – sixty, the second game – sixty-seven, and the final game – fifty-five.”

Cindy S.

Over and Out

When her six-year-old daughter and four-year-old son ran outside to play with their new toy, my sister sat back to enjoy a cup of coffee and a rare moment of quiet. The peace was shattered when my nephew ran back into the house, crying.

“What’s wrong?” my sister asked.

“She won’t stop calling me Roger!” he sobbed, and threw down his new walkie-talkie.

Teddy K.

Classifieds

A couple was in the market for their first house. After seeing a dud, Joe looked at the classified section and said, “I’m learning more and more about deciphering these real estate ads. ‘Cozy’ means ‘small,’ ‘vintage’ means ‘old.’ And today, I learned that ‘stunning’ means ‘needs new wiring.’”

Joey F.

Need a Raise

“I have to have a raise in my commission,” the new employee said to his boss. “There are three other companies after me.”

“Is that so?” asked the boss. “What other companies are after you?”

“The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company.”

Shirley F.

Post-Pesach Diet

Al and Dave, father and son, were discussing their respective weight gains over Passover.

“I can’t believe how much weight I gained,” said Dave.

“Yikes,” responded his father, Al. “We have to do something about it.”

 

Dave had an idea. “Dad, why don’t we go on a diet together? We will have a little competition. The one who loses the most weight wins $10.”

“What a fantastic idea,” said Al. “But let’s make it $100!”

“Deal!” said Dave.

“All right,” said Al happily. “But let’s start after Shavuot. There are a bunch of things I have to eat first.”

 

Michael Z.

Hilchot Shabbat Come to Life at Yeshivat Shaare Torah Expo

Pnina Souid 

 

Have you ever seen a gymnasium turned into a zoo?! If the answer is no, then you weren’t zocheh to attend the Hilchot Shabbat Expo at the Yeshivat Shaare Torah Junior High School on February 18th. 

Those who were fortunate enough to attend reported that the atmosphere at the gym-turned-zoo was exhilarating! It was hard to believe how a school gym could be totally transformed into an Expo full of amazing displays and real live animals, but that is what they did!  

Hands-on Approach to Learning 

The boys have been learning hilchot Shabbat, the laws of Shabbat. The Expo focused on malechet tzad, the prohibition of trapping and confining animals, which is one of the 39 melachot prohibited on Shabbat. The expo was put together to demonstrate what may or may not be done concerning malechet tzad. This hands-on approach has changed the way hilchot Shabbat is being taught and being learned.  

In learning about the melachot of Shabbat, the boys are not just involved in book learning and listening to their teacher. The learning has also been hands-on, guided by the creative curriculum developed by the Junior High School Menahel, Rabbi Rahamim Falack. Rabbi Falack’s boundless enthusiasm is contagious and has rubbed off on both the rabbanim and their students. 

Stations Set up to Delight and to Teach 

Upon entering the Expo, visitors were treated to a video presentation featuring students explaining in detail the various laws pertaining to melechet tzad. 

The Expo was set up with stations and posters explaining what was entailed in the halachot that they were learning. The general definition of the melacha was the work used to build the Mishkan. Animals were caught in order to make the leather and fur coverings of the Mishkan. 

Each station had a different type of animal. There were dogs, snakes, hamsters, goats, a sheep, a cow, roosters, a lizard that resembled a mini alligator, and birds. But the birds were not in cages!  A man known as the Parrot Rebbe, in a special frock and shtreimel, strolled around the Expo, placing birds on people’s shoulders and heads.  

Students manning their stations were happy to answer questions. The boys were all remarkably knowledgeable and whatever they did not know they offered to find out. 

At the farm animals station one could feed and milk the goats, and take a snip of the sheep’s woolly coat. All with assistance, of course. 

 

Parents’ Reactions 

Mr. Mayer Chemtob, a parent who attended the Expo exclaimed, “This brings Torah to life! Unbelievable. My son is very excited and opened his Gemara intrigued.”  

Another parent, Mr. Michael Solomon, said, “It was more hands-on than ever before. What an original concept!”  

“The melacha of trapping animals is clear to the students and is tangible to them. By engaging students in hands-on activities, we are able to create a deep learning experience and ensure that knowledge stays with them for the long term.  This is all their work,” said one of the school’s rabbeim, Rabbi David Mansour. 

Excitement All Around  

Everyone in attendance was excited. Who would have thought that it was possible to bring together so many live animals just to teach the boys a subject that is usually done in the classroom, with the teacher in front of the room and the boys following along in their sefer. 

At the close of the Expo came the finale, a Halacha Decathlon, testing the students’ knowledge.  

Rabbi Falack proudly reported, “They were asked applications to the laws that they had to apply on the spot! The Rosh Yeshiva and the posek, Rabbi Yosef Srour, were very impressed with the knowledge of the boys. They didn’t just say the law but gave the reasons behind it! All with confidence. So many boys really knew their stuff. We had about six boys that made it to the end! That’s called knowing your stuff.” 

Rabbi Falack concluded, “It was hard to believe that this project with immense detail would actually happen. Everyone has dreams, don’t dismiss them, just work at them diligently and you will be surprised that it will become a reality!  A special thank you to our YST Junior High rabbanim who worked alongside in this tremendous project.” 

Turning Anger Into Hope

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

 

The brutal massacre, the abduction of hostages, and the unprovoked war against Israel on October 7th has triggered for us a myriad of feelings including despair, depression, fear, pain, and anger.    

 

Channeling Anger 

 

How can we channel our anger and pain into positive actions and sustain hope and optimism while we fight for the eradication of Hamas and do everything in our power to bring the hostages home? 

 

Psychologists explain that anger is not a negative emotion nor does it need to be conquered. Anger is necessary for our wellbeing and aids us in identifying when something is not right and requires attention.  Anger propels people to face and overcome obstacles.  It is different than rage, which is anger that feels out of control.  Using anger as a motivator and a tool for positive change can become a life-changing skill and can inspire self-improvement and leadership against injustice. 

 

A Renewed Sense of Unity in Israel 

Israeli citizens of all political and religious stripes, from right-wing to liberal, and from religious to secular, are rallying behind Israel. Reservists who had previously refused to appear for reserve duty were waiting in line to serve when the war broke out.  Reservists, many on treks or on vacations far away, flew home to Israel from around the world.   

 

This amazing unity has been driven by the view that this war poses an existential threat to Israeli society, its security, and its Zionist and democratic values.  

 

More Israeli soldiers are putting on tzitzit as volunteers work tirelessly to tie tzitzit strings on the corners of the garments. More Israeli men are also putting on tefillin. 

 

Have you watched videos of soldiers stopping to pray and sing at various sites in Gaza, including in synagogues?  Sifrei Torah were brought to the front.  Israeli soldiers of varying religious backgrounds are meshing beautifully in one unit to eliminate Hamas, free the hostages, and secure Israel’s future. 

 

Renewed Unity for Jews Outside of Israel 

Jews in Galut have also been rethinking their priorities and what it means to be a Jew in the U.S., England, and other countries.  Women and men are going back to shul, lighting Shabbat candles, and displaying their Jewish identity by wearing Stars of David, kippot, and Bring Them Home Now necklace tags.   

 

Today, I read a message from an Israeli soldier thanking a shul group for their prayers, and urging them to continue.  We all have paused to say a prayer to Hashem, asking for His help, when experiencing obstacles or when a loved one is sick.  We must maintain our prayers for the speedy return of our hostages, the protection of our soldiers and Israel residents, and the refuah shelema of our holim and our injured soldiers. 

 

Please join a Tehillim group on WhatsApp or on Zoom, or recite a few chapters on your own.   You can sign up to be matched with a Torah partner, where you and your partner commit to studying ten minutes a week in the merit of an Israeli soldier. Go to: partnersinprotection.org/iotg. 

 

Consider taking on a new mitzvah or add an extra chapter of Tehillim to your prayers. 

 

 

Volunteer 

 

Volunteer in your hometown or in Israel.  You can help raise funds for Israel in your synagogue or for a particular organization.  My friend Marilyn packed boots for the soldiers for the last four months. Schools, shuls, and community organizations are still sending duffels filled with warm clothing and equipment for soldiers,  

 

People are going on missions to Israel and working on kibbutzim and other places with labor shortages.  They are also visiting Israel to show their solidarity and their gratitude to the soldiers who are not just fighting for Israel but for Jews around the world.  Volunteers are visiting displaced Israelis and wounded soldiers and citizens. 

 

Advocate for Israel 

 

Advocate for Israel in your local communities and schools and write to President Biden and to your local senators, congressional representatives, politicians, and community leaders.  There are templates supplied by organizations that make it very easy to email, the president, your senator, or congressman. 

 

In Conclusion 

 

Be united and be there for each other and find comfort in your community. Be patient with others as we continue to process Israel’s largest-ever mass casualty event, the daily losses, and the daily news reports. Pray for the return of the hostages, for safety for all Jews, and for peace.  

 

I leave you with the words of UJA -Federation CEO Eric Goldstein, “Transforming the pain is key. Otherwise, as Ambassador Deborah Lipstadt notes, ‘We cede control of our identity to our oppressors.’” 

Eight Essential Elements of Estate Planning

More than half of all American adults do not have a will. Should tragedy strike, chas v’shalom, without one, many problems could potentially arise. Estate Planning is essential to save families from unwanted outcomes. Even without major assets, it is important to have these plans in place.

If there is no will when someone passes away, state law will determine who gets their assets. If a person is single and childless, the estate may go to the parents and siblings. If a person is married, their assets may all go to their spouse, or be split between the spouse and the children.  

Once a plan is in place, make sure the heirs know how and where to access the documents. Locking them away in a safe-deposit box means they may not be able to get to them easily.  

Below are nine essential elements to keep in mind. 

 

Create a Halachic Will  

This is in addition to a regular will. Be in touch with your rabbi to discuss all it entails. 

 

Guardianship for Minors   

Who will raise the children if something happens to both parents? It is also important to know how to handle life insurance payouts and money left to the children. The best option is to have the money placed in a trust for the children, versus leaving it to another adult.

 

A Will 

A will determines where assets outside of a trust will be distributed. This could include home, car, bank accounts, or personal possessions.
 

Executor 

This is the person who will carry out the deceased’s wishes.

 

Living Trust 

A living trust both allows a person to pass on assets without going through the public probate process and also allows someone else to manage affairs should they become incapacitated.  

 

Financial Power of Attorney 

This allows someone to manage a person’s financial affair.  

 

 

Beneficiaries 

Retirement accounts, pensions, life insurance, and brokerage accounts are passed through beneficiary designations, not a will.

 

Tax Planning 

If someone is wealthy enough to face federal and state estate taxes, be sure a professional can handle those plans. Even if they are less wealthy, their heirs will have to file their income tax returns, so make sure the heirs know where to find the relevant information.
 

Community Highlights – Tefillin Drive for Israeli Soldiers

Soldiers in Israel are fighting not only for their lives, but also for the lives of Israeli citizens and the hostages held in Gaza. Our soldiers enter the battlefield knowing that they are supported by Hashem and the prayers of the entire nation. Since many soldiers have decided to pray and to put on tefillin, there are not enough pairs for everyone. When a community member made a shiva call to Ramona Mizrahi for her brother Moshe Chai Ben Rachel, a”h, Ramona mentioned that her brother was buried in Israel with her soldier cousins in attendance. She went on to say that her cousins asked for Moshe’s tefillin because there was a shortage and that when soldiers come out of Gaza, there are lines of tens of soldiers waiting to say a beracha on the limited number of pairs.

 

Ramona was happy to donate them, saying, “What were they going to do with his tefillin anyway?” This story was the catalyst for a tefillin drive. Community member Linda Cohen, along with Ramona Mizrahi, launched this project leilui nishmat her brother to collect used tefillin along with donations to purchase new tefillin and send them to Israel for soldiers. They were able to connect with an organization, Love IDF, via another community member living in Israel, that specifically obtains, checks, and delivers tefillin to soldiers in both Gaza and up North. As of now,37 sets of tefillin have been given to our soldiers, our brothers. There is a lot we can do from here to help in Israel.

 

If you would like to participate or to donate, please call Linda Cohen at 917-519-614.

 

 

Uniting Voices: The Resounding Success of the Sixth Annual Deal Community Amen Party

In a packed house of over 400 women, the sixth annual Deal Community Amen Party took place, with the yearly theme of Amen B’Achdut – which resonated even more than ever before.  From the day the October 7th attacks took place, the Jewish world has come together in unity, in a way that has made us all take greater pride in being part of Am Yisrael. The Amen B’Achdut event was an expression of that feeling.

Victoria Sutton opened the event by introducing everyone to rescued hostages Louis and Fernando, who joined the event via Zoom. They both witnessed how our community prays for them and accepts kabbalot as a zechut for them and the remaining hostages.  Rabbi Edmond Nahum then gave his blessing for the rest of the hostages to be saved. Karen Smadja recited the beracha of hafrashat challah and spoke about her son Natan Chai, a”h, who at only eight years old constantly thought of Mashiach and always looked for ways to bring achdut and zechut to the world. Rabbi Joey Haber spoke about the month of Adar, the special meaning of its letters, and its connection to the power of Amen.

With all these inspirational words as a backdrop, the community women collectively recited and answered thousands of berachot with “Amen.”  What a powerful way to bring more zechut in our time of need!

 

NYPD Offers Fraud Prevention Tips

The New York City Police Department (NYPD) is actively raising awareness about the risks associated with phone scams. These scams often involve fraudulent callers claiming to be from the Social Security Administration or local, state or federal law enforcement agencies. Here are the key points:

Scam Overview:

Victims are contacted and informed that their Social Security number has been linked to illegal activities, such as drug trafficking or money laundering.

To avoid arrest or to protect their assets, victims are coerced into sending money.

Common payment methods requested include prepaid gift cards, Bitcoin, and bank wire transfers.

Scammers may even impersonate police officers or law enforcement officials to intimidate victims.

 

Drawing Strength From Pesach

If a person was taken captive and subsequently released, we would expect him to hold some kind of celebration each year on the anniversary of his release.  But now let us imagine that this fellow is taken prisoner yet a second time.  At some later point, he is again released.  When would he celebrate his freedom – on the date of his initial release, or the on the day of his second and final release? 

 

Unquestionably, he would host his celebration on the date when he received his permanent freedom.  What sense would there be in celebrating the day when he was released if he was then captured again?! 

 

And yet, this seems to be precisely what we do each year, on Pesach.  We celebrate our release from the Egyptian exile – despite the fact that our nation were exiled subsequently, on multiple occasions. 

 

“Everlasting” Freedom? 

 

After leaving Egypt, we entered the Land of Israel and built a country – until the Babylonians brought us into exile several centuries later.  The Babylonians were then conquered by the Persians, under whose dominion we lived until they, like the rest of the ancient world, were overrun by the Greek Empire.  The Hashmonaim miraculously defeated the Greeks and drove them from the Land of Israel, but less than 300 years we came under the rule of Rome.  And we have been in exile ever since. 

 

And thus our Sages speak of four exiles that the Jewish People endured after the Exodus from Egypt: 1) Babylonia; 2) Persia; 3) Greece; 4) Rome, the exile in which we still find ourselves. 

 

Why, then, do we celebrate our redemption from the Egyptian exile, if we were subsequently sent back into exile – four times! – and we still remain in exile to this day? 

 

Even more perplexingly, each night, in the arvit service, we give praise to Gd for bringing us out of Egypt “leherut olam – to everlasting freedom.”  We speak of the freedom we gained at the time of the Exodus as “everlasting” – despite the fact that we have, unfortunately, suffered so much persecution and oppression since that miraculous redemption.  In what way is our freedom from Egyptian bondage “everlasting”? 

 

Egypt as the “Mother” 

 

The answer is found in an important teaching the Arizal (Rav Yitzhak Luria, Safed, 1534-1572), which is fundamental to our understanding of the significance of Yetziat Mitzrayim (the Exodus from Egypt) and our celebration of Pesach. 

 

The Arizal taught that the Egyptian bondage was the template, so-to-speak, of all future exiles.  We might compare this period of suffering to a woman pregnant with quadruplets, as it “gave birth” to the four later exiles.  The concept of exile was conceived in our ancestors’ experiences in Egypt, setting the foundation for the four exiles that followed. 

 

The Hida (Rav Haim Yosef David Azoulay, 1724-1806) found an allusion to this concept in the opening verse of the Book of Shemot, where the Torah introduces the story of the Egyptian bondage, listing the names of Yaakov’s sons “habaim Mitzrayemah – who were coming to Egypt.”  The word “baim” in this verse can be read as an acrostic representing the words “Bavel” (Babylonia), “Edom” (a reference to Rome), “Yavan” (Greece), and “Madai” (Media, which was connected to Persia).  When our ancestors came to Egypt, they were setting into motion the four subsequent exiles.  The period of exile of Egypt constituted the foundation from which the future exiles emerged. 

 

The flipside of this concept is that Yetziat Mitzrayim set into the motion all future processes of redemption.  Just as the horrors of the Egyptian exile laid the groundwork for the suffering during subsequent exiles, the miraculous Exodus from Egypt laid the groundwork for all subsequent redemptions.  And it is in this sense that Yetziat Mitzrayim brought us “everlasting freedom.”  Although we were later exiled again, multiple times, and still await our fourth and final redemption, that final redemption is rooted in our nation’s redemption from Egypt.  The miracles of Yetziat Mitzrayim established the precedent for our future redemptions – and thus, indeed, they could be said to have brought us “everlasting freedom,” in that they facilitate the final redemption for which we yearn and pray. 

 

The Arizal noted that this explains the prominence of the number 4 at the seder.  We drink four cups of wine, for example, to commemorate the four redemptions that were “born” at the time of Yetziat Mitzrayim.  We celebrate on this night not only our freedom from Egyptian bondage, but rather all the redemptions that we have experienced and the final redemption that we will soon, please Gd, experience, as they all originate from the miraculous redemption from Egyptian slavery.  We celebrate the concept of ge’ulah (redemption) which was born at the time of Yetziat Mitzrayim, confident that we will see the end of our current exile, as well. 

 

The Fourth Patriarch? 

 

With this background, we can perhaps understand an otherwise peculiar aspect of the story of Yetziat Mitzrayim. 

 

The process of the Exodus began – or so we would have thought – when Gd appeared to Moshe at the burning bush, and informed him that He would soon free Beneh Yisrael from slavery.  He commanded Moshe to return to Egypt, convey Gd’s promise of redemption to the people, and then confront Pharaoh to demand that he release the slaves. 

 

Surprisingly, though, after Moshe approached Pharaoh, the king not only refused his demand, but made Beneh Yisrael’s conditions much worse.  In an attempt to demoralize the people and dash their hopes of freedom, Pharaoh ordered that they would no longer be given straw with which to produce bricks, but would have to fetch straw themselves and then somehow meet the same quota of bricks as they had previously.  Suddenly, the slaves’ workload was doubled. 

 

Why did this happen?  Why did the suffering need to intensify before the redemption? 

 

The answer might be found in the comments of the Or Ha’haim (by Rav Haim Ben-Attar, 1696-1743) to the beginning of Parashat Tetzaveh.  The Or Ha’haim there establishes that the redemptions from all our nation’s previous exiles unfolded in the merit of our righteous patriarchs.  We were redeemed from the Babylonian exile in the merit of Avraham; from the Persian exile in the merit of Yitzhak; and from the Greek exile in the merit of Yaakov.  The question naturally becomes, then, in whose merit we will attain redemption from our current exile, as we have only three patriarchs, not four.   

 

The Or Ha’haim answers that the final redemption will transpire in the merit of Moshe Rabbenu.  He is the “fourth patriarch,” so-to-speak, in that he provides us the merit we will need to bring our final redemption.  (As an aside, it is worth emphasizing that Moshe Rabbenu is the one who brought us the Torah.   

Therefore, in order to enlist his great merit through which we can earn redemption, we need to devote time to learning Torah, rather the waste our time in front of screens…) 

 

If we combine the Or Ha’haim’s theory with the Arizal’s teaching discussed earlier, we arrive at a fascinating conclusion.  If, indeed, the Egyptian exile formed the template of the four subsequent exiles, then it stands to reason that the final phase of the Egyptian bondage corresponds to the final of the four exiles.  Our current exile, without question, has been the harshest and most tragic.  It has already lasted nearly two thousand years – several times longer than any of the previous exiles – and has included so many catastrophes, such as the Crusades, the expulsion from Spain, the Khmelnytsky pogroms in the 16th century, the Holocaust, and mass terror attacks in Israel.   

 

Understandably, then, once Moshe – who will redeem us from our current exile – arrived on the scene in Egypt, the suffering had to intensify.  Moshe’s emergence in Egypt represents the fourth and final exile – and for this reason, this period was the harshest and most tragic part of the Egyptian bondage, just as our current exile is the most painful of all the exiles. 

 

Anticipating Miracles 

 

Several centuries before Beneh Yisrael’s enslavement by Pharaoh, Gd informed Avraham that this would happen.  He also ensured our patriarch that “dan anochi” – He would punish the nation that would subjugate his descendants (Beresheet 15:14).  Gd fulfilled this promise through the ten plagues that He brought upon Egypt, and then by drowning Pharaoh’s army in the sea. 

 

Rav Saadia Gaon (882-942) noted that if these two words – “dan anochi” – were manifest through the great miracles of the Exodus, we cannot even imagine the fulfillment of the prophecies of our final redemption.  The books of the prophets are filled with promises of blessing and of our enemies’ downfall.  If two words produced Yetziat Mitzrayim, we can be certain that the final redemption will many times more miraculous than the Exodus from Egypt. 

 

The Pesach celebration, then, is not only about our ancestors – it is very much about us, about our current travails, and about our unwavering faith in redemption.  Yetziat Mitzrayim assures us that no matter how difficult our current circumstances seem, the Jewish Nation will be saved, just like our ancestors were – and in even more miraculous fashion. 

 

This year, Am Yisrael is preparing for Pesach in a state of anxiety and uncertainty.  The trauma of Simhat Torah is still very much with us.  Many of us know firsthand families who lost loved ones on that day or during the ensuing war.  Nobody knows how the current conflict will end, and Jews around the world are experiencing a frightening wave of anti-Semitic attacks.   

 

Pesach has come at the perfect time, reassuring us that, as Gd conveyed through the prophet Micha (7:15), “Like in the days when you left the land of Egypt, I will show them wonders.”  The miracles we speak about at the seder remind us that we will soon witness even greater miracles, that Gd will extricate us from our current crises just as He brought our ancestors out of Egypt.  There is no greater source of strength and encouragement for us during this time than the seder table, where we sit and focus our attention on the miraculous Exodus from Egypt, which is the model for the miraculous redemption that we can look forward to. 

 

Rather than fall into despair, let us be strengthened and reenergized, as we reaffirm our faith in the beautiful future that awaits the Jewish Nation. 

How to Get Your Family Involved in Passover Preparations

 

Women often shoulder the entire burden of Pesach preparations. Let’s hear from community members how they delegate tasks to family members to lighten their enormous load. Even when the kids are too young to help, it’s important to start teaching them the skills they can acquire to help Mom when they get bigger. For example, I recruit my nine-year-old daughter to go through all the jacket pockets in the coat closet looking for any hametz. I hope this article will be helpful to us all! Let’s jump right in and see what some of our clever community members do to get everyone involved in Pesach preparations.  

 

 

Esther C. Cohen 

 

My friend’s mom shared the following trick. She promises her kids one dollar for every hametz item they find. The kids end up really searching and actually finding stuff! Hopefully it doesn’t cause Mom to break the bank! How about paying in quarters?! 

 

Even young kids can help. From three years old, they can spray and wipe a drawer. And the bonus for Mom is that it keeps them busy for a long time with that spray bottle and rag (don’t even splurge on paper towels – they’ll use a million of them). Some other helpful tips: Take the highchair outside for a good cleaning – use a garden hose!  Wait for a nice day to tackle the car together. Even if it’s earlier than you would have liked – you’ll be happy if one thing is checked off the list and everyone will be psyched to be outside. We’ve even invited friends over to help clean the car – they really love it! They feel so big and responsible.  

 

Wait for the kids to be out of the house to boil the counters – it’s not worth doing that with them around. And the best tip – wear rainboots when sloshing around boiling water! 

 

Devora Piller 

I don’t have my kids pitch in for the actual cleaning. I need to be alone to be able to focus on my cleaning. But, one year, I gave my oldest son the task of looking through his own nightstand and deciding what he wanted to keep and what was trash and also, of course, looking for hametz. He loved it! Afterwards, he set up things on his nightstand that he found and my other sons saw it and got excited to do so, as well. So that’s what they do each year.  

 

My kids help in the kitchen when I’m cooking. They love peeling potatoes. They also pitch in with juicing lemons and oranges, and making grapefruit juice. They also choose cake mixes and make those for the holiday. For me,  letting go of control was hard at first. But when I did, I found that I benefited from the kids’ help, and they love helping out, too. 

 

Sarah H. Franco 

 

Here are tips for how to get your adult children involved. 

Assign everyone to prepare different dishes for the holiday. This takes a little planning to decide who makes what, but it pays off in the end because everyone helps out, instead of all of the responsibilities falling on the host. 

 

Next – split responsibilities: 

Someone supplies paper goods, someone supplies snacks, another baked goods. Someone buys fruit. Split the details because they add up, too. 

Another option is that each person picks an activity or meal they are in charge of. 

 

My mother and my sisters try to do that. We’ve been doing it since our late 20’s we’re all in our 30’s now. Some of my friends go to one family member’s house and together they cook ahead of time.  

 

We all go to my mother for Pesach. For years I used to clean the kitchen with my cleaning lady, although I no longer do that.  

 

But, if everyone is going to one family member’s, particularly their parents’ house, you can and should take over a job, like cleaning some areas of the house. After Purim my mother makes the kids look for hametz, in the playroom and in their rooms, before the cleaning lady cleans. Then the day before Pesach she makes the kids do a hametz check again.  

 

Obviously, this is for chinuch purposes, and is a way to keep the kids out of our hair and provides a way for them to be connected to Pesach, to be mindful that Pesach is coming, and Don’t Make a Mess! 

 

Jennifer Mizrahi 

 

My kids are basically my little assistants when it comes to Passover prep. I assign them tasks such as vacuuming the couch and checking rice. They also empty things out of my cabinets, spray and wipe down surfaces, and put in the Pesach groceries. I also let them wipe down my chairs and other simple tasks like that. Their favorite thing is vacuuming my car – they find it to be a lot of fun! And, for me it’s so helpful 

 

 

Batsheva H. 

 

My cousins who have a ton of kids came up with a really clever idea. They motivate the kids with a trip, so if they clean for Pesach really well and fast, they get to go away. This is great because it helps twofold – it gets the house clean and then, because they leave on a trip, the house stays clean! 

 

 

Ellen Kamaras 

 

Incentivize/reward your kids to clean their rooms for Pesach. Give them a fabric tote bag to fill up. Tell them to look for old toys to donate or throw out broken toys while searching for hametz.  

 

Sometimes, the best help is just getting the kids out of your way so you can focus on cleaning. Give them supplies and have your children draw pictures of the plagues or other pictures of the Pesach story for the seder night. Another cute activity is making personalized place cards for the guests at the seder. My daughter loved that “task.” 

 

Get kids involved in choosing Pesach treats and planning the menu.  

 

Put older kids in charge of planning a Hol Hamoed day trip: give them skin in the game and let them call cousins or whoever you plan to go with and brainstorm. 

 

 

Faye Sued 

 

“Guilt works!” 

(spoken like a true Jewish grandma) 

 

 

 

Wow! These are all terrific ideas and they’re really putting me into the spirit of preparing for the holiday. Just a few closing thoughts – I don’t want my children growing up feeling completely unprepared to clean their homes. I can think of no better way to teach them than to give them first-hand experience. Also, it would be great to have some extra helping hands. I’m going to do my best to involve the kids this year in preparation for the holiday. I hope this article inspired you to do the same. Getting hired help is good but it does not provide chinuch. As Jewish mothers it is our responsibility to pass on the tradition of cleaning for such an important holiday. If the children whine and moan that they don’t want to clean, I suggest teaching them this phrase in Hebrew “yesh li koach” – I have strength. We can do hard things. We should do hard things most of the time. It’s good for us. And yes, cleaning for Pesach and searching and eliminating hametz from our lives this time of year is good for us. So let’s put on some gloves and get it done! 

 

Until next time,  

Frieda Schweky 

 

 

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @ friedaschwekyphoto. For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her at friedaschweky@gmail.com.