– Avi Kumar 

Albert Kamoo served as president of the Syrian Jewish community in Damascus for 16 years, until his death this past September. He leaves behind only nine other Jews in all of Syria, a reliable source told Community Magazine. 

Mr. Kamoo was 80 years old. He diligently watched over the Jewish cemetery and the now-empty synagogues, which were once vibrant and filled with regular congregants. He also maintained constant communication with international organizations that aided the dwindling ancient community.

Once Glorious Synagogues 

In 2011, when the Syrian civil war began, the Jewish community was estimated to be 200 members strong. The nine remaining community members are mostly over sixty. A 2019 BBC news segment in Arabic was filmed in Damascus at the historic Eliyahu Hanavi Synagogue, which had been bombed and looted during the civil war. The film featured Kamoo, wearing a kippa, along with  his sister, Rachel. She is believed to be his only surviving relative. A few Jewish artifacts of historic value were shown in the film clip. The synagogue was built in in the Sephardic tradition, with classic Ottoman architecture and Islamic influences. 

The Great Aleppo Synagogue (better known as Al Safra, “the yellow”) was in actuality a complex, with several synagogues and an outdoor sanctuary for use in the hot summer months. It is said to have been founded by Joab, a nephew of King David.  The oldest surviving inscription is from the year 834. 

Deteriorating Conditions Lead to Mass Emigrations

Many Syrian Jews emigrated to the Americas during the early 1900s. The last official national census that listed religious affiliation was conducted in 1953. Over 31,000 Jews were recorded living in Syria, a figure equaling slightly less than one percent of the population. The two major Jewish population centers were in the capital city of Damascus and in the northern city of Aleppo. Then, in the aftermath of the Six-Day War in 1967, conditions for Jews severely deteriorated and a mass emigration followed. The last chief rabbi of Damascus, Abraham Hamra, left Syria in 1994, when President Hafez Assad allowed the Jews to leave. The last Chief Rabbi of the Aleppo community, Hacham Yom Tov Yedid, emigrated in 1985.

In 2015, many Jews fled to Israel via neighboring Turkey as part of a top-secret rescue mission following escalating violence in the civil war and the threat of ISIS looming.

Daring Escape Orchestrated by Moti Kahana

New York-based businessman Moti Kahana assisted 28 Jews, mostly from Aleppo, to escape. He  orchestrated the complicated logistics involved. He said, “It was extremely dangerous for them. I’m not supportive of the Syrian government, but they did not harm the Jews. In fact, they protected them. The risk was more from fanatic extremists and potential kidnappers than from the Syrian government.” He continued, “I know many Jews who would love to go back to Syria if they had a chance. But with the economy down the drain and very poor safety, why would they live there? Deep down, we are Middle Easterners. We love the food, the weather, and other things in the region. But it’s just not safe.”

In addition to the Jews, Kahana helped over 5,000 Muslims to flee the war-torn nation. He chuckled, “Only the Queen has blue blood probably, for everyone else it is red.”

Other Jewish Communities Dwindle

Yemen and Iraq, which also have had ancient, established Jewish communities now count less than half a dozen Jews. Almost all of those countries’ Jews have emigrated due to severe persecution, a lack of safety, and economic instability. The Jewish community in Turkey would periodically send a shochet to perform shehita, but that ultimately ceased. Other Jewish communities such as those in Ireland and India have also been reduced to a shadow of what they once were, barely a century ago.

As Americans, we can take pride in the fact that we are a nation of givers. And as the economy improves, charitable giving is on the rise. In fact, according to the National Philanthropic Trust in 2020 total charitable giving from U.S. individuals, corporations, foundations, and bequests exceeded $471 billion with 69% coming from individuals.

While money may be tight for many Americans, it’s nice to know that there is a way to support a favorite charity without having to worry about the impact it could have on your budget. How? By giving the gift of life insurance. Here are just a few ways you can use this proven method to contribute money to your favorite causes:

• Donate an existing policy – If you already have a policy and no longer need the death benefit, you can gift the policy to your desired charity, which may give you some tax benefits. The charity will receive the full benefit amount when you die.

• List the charity as a beneficiary – As the owner, you remain in control of your policy and can leave money to as many beneficiaries as you like: children, grandchildren – even multiple charities. Or, you can name a single charity the sole beneficiary, and it will receive the entire amount.

• Purchase a separate policy – There are times when it makes sense to have separate policies: one for loved ones and one for charitable gifts. This technique can prove especially helpful if you would like to retain ownership of one policy, but not the other.

• Create a Charitable Remainder Trust – While this planned-giving tool is designed to shelter appreciated assets such as stocks and real estate, you can also incorporate life insurance if it’s set up properly. Be sure to consult a trusts and estates advisor before pursuing this approach.

Giving life insurance can be a lasting legacy to support causes dear to you. Depending on the method you choose, it may also offer a variety of tax benefits.

Last month, we explored the two halves of the brain: the emotional and logical hemispheres. The divide between them explains the common struggle that many of us have. We know we can say no to others’ requests, yet we find ourselves saying a begrudging “yes.” We know we should be open with our spouse, yet we’re not. We know it’s time to ask the boss for a raise, yet we continuously push it off.  

Why is that? 

Experiences Wire Our Brains 

Every experience that we encounter in our lives, from very early childhood, wires our brains, and dictates what we fear and what we don’t. This is why a child in America who encounters a rat is likely to shriek and jump sky high, yet a same-aged child in Africa would be more likely to pick it up and play with it. It’s not about if the threat is legitimate or not, but rather how we are conditioned to think about things.  

This concept also explains why someone who was chased by a vicious pit bull as a child will find that his automatic response to a dog is run as fast as you can, even when his adult logical brain says don’t be afraid of that little fluff ball. Logic will not override a strong emotionally recognized fear. 

Let’s take it a step further. A child who is constantly rejected or criticized for being his true self – why wear your hair so frizzy? You’re such a dork, who listens to music like that? If you study harder next time, you’ll get 100 instead of a 94! – will develop a belief that there is something wrong with him. He will remain on the defensive, and hide his true self under layers of what he believes will make others like him. He will likely overcompensate his behaviors, always aiming for perfection to avoid mistakes, driving fancy cars and dressing to kill, and avoiding being vulnerable and real to others, assuming people would never associate with him if they knew the real him. 

This is especially damaging for those who have experienced rejection, negativity, or abuse from one they respected and trusted implicitly – a parent, teacher, or authority figure – since they learn to hide their true selves even from those they should trust most, such as a spouse, rabbi, or good friend. These relationships, which are cultivated through openness and sincere vulnerability, suffer as a result of this behavior. 

Why Therapy Can Help 

In therapy, clients explore the thinking errors, fears, and responses that prevent them from living as their true selves and with peace of mind. Therapy clients discover their own value and learn to be real, vulnerable, honest, and to be themselves rather than who they believe others want them to be. They learn to identify cognitive distortions responsible for depression, anxiety, and other afflictions, such as dismissing positives (that wasn’t a genuine compliment), mind-reading (she’s saying that because she feels bad for me), black-and-white thinking (I’m a bad parent because I yelled), and “should” statements (I should really extend myself for hachnasat orchim). 

In exposure therapy people learn to overcome their phobias by approaching them slowly, in small doses. That’s essentially at the core of all therapy: pinpoint the phobia – I’m afraid my rabbi will judge me if I open up, I’m afraid my spouse will look down on me if I assert myself, I’m afraid I’ll lose my friends if I say no – and then face that fear. Say Shabbat Shalom to three people in shul. Cook something new. Have that uncomfortable conversation you’re avoiding.  

Once we identify the threat – real or perceived – we can empower ourselves to face the fear and banish it. When a child is terrified of monsters under the bed, it doesn’t help to reassure him  “there are no monsters” or “I’ll protect you, don’t worry.” Most helpful is to lift the mattress to show there’s no monster. A therapy client learns to confront fear and discover it was unfounded, realizing that there’s truly nothing to fear but fear itself. 

This type of therapy isn’t new. The Rambam advises chronic people-pleasers to davka not give tzedaka if you have a hard time saying no, fearing letting people down.  

Next month, we’ll discuss more how this works, as well as how this concept can be the biggest barrier in relationships, and how overcoming these barriers can bring relationships to a whole new level.  

Dr. Yossi Shafer, PhD is the clinical director and a clinical psychologist at Empower Health Center, a private practice of multispecialty psychotherapists. They have offices in Deal/Long Branch and Lakewood and can be reached at (732) 666-9898 or office@empowerhealthcenter.net 

Pnina Souid 

Sharon, a woman in her forties, reached out to the Mitzvah Man Foundation not knowing if they would be able to help her. 

“I’m a saleslady and am experiencing severe hearing loss. I cannot properly serve my customers because of my hearing issues! I am afraid of losing my job. The hearing loss is disrupting my life. However, I don’t want to take money from the organization. I will be happy with refurbished hearing aids and would be able to pay something for them.” 

The Mitzvah Man volunteer told Sharon that they usually do not provide hearing aids. However,  he would send out a text to all the volunteers with a request for refurbished hearing aids. One volunteer responded. He was sure that he would be the messenger to fulfill this mitzvah. “This must be a sign from Hashem!” he exclaimed. 

Hayim, the volunteer, explained that he has a business selling on the internet. He looks at various new items to sell but always tests them first. Recently Hayim evaluated hearing aids and was extremely impressed with their efficiency. Hayim recently ordered  hearing aids to sell. He would be more than happy to fulfill Sharon’s request for a brand-new pair of hearing aids free of charge, not refurbished.  

These hearing aids were certain to change Sharon’s life for the better. Sharon was overjoyed when she learned that she would get the hearing aids. Being able to hear well would give her a new lease on life.  

Unfortunately, Hayim’s business deal fell through, but others saw the post for refurbished hearing aids, and a pair of refurbished hearing aids was located. Baruch Hashem, Sharon was able to have her sense of hearing restored. 

A Second Call for Hearing Aids 

Another call came in in response to the original post.  

“My daughter Frieda is 16 years old. She is deaf in both ears. After a certain age, our insurance does not cover the cost of the hearing aids she so desperately needs. She wants to live a normal life, have friends, date, marry, and have a family! Instead, she is living in a world of silence. Is there something that you can do for her? Frieda requires specific, expensive hearing aids, $6,000, to be exact.” 

When the Mitzvah Man spoke to Frieda’s mother, he really did not know what he would do, but assured her that he would try his best. 

First, he turned to Hashem. Then he remembered that years ago one of his friends who was a regular donor had told him that if he ever needed a large donation, do not hesitate to call. The Mitzvah Man volunteers had put tefillin on this man’s ailing father, and the man wanted to do something special for the organization.  

Immediately, the Mitzvah Man picked up the phone to call his friend. “Joe, do you remember the time you told me to ask when I need a sizeable donation for one of our cases? We need $6,000 to buy special hearing aids for a 16-year-old girl.” 

“I’m in,” Joe answered. “Just tell me where to send the check!” 

Within a week Frieda had her hearing aids and a new life!  

The Mitzvah Man stated, “We often take our senses for granted. The sense of hearing, just like the sense of sight, helps us to be a part of the world around us, to be with family and friends, and to enjoy life cycle celebrations. Baruch Hashem, we were able to help this teenager who is so happy with a bright present, and B’ezrat Hashem an even brighter future. Tizkeh l’mitzvot to the donor of the hearing aids. He made a tremendous difference in another person’s life.” 

To most people, a hearing aid seems to be such a small item.  To Sharon and Frieda, however, a hearing aid means the world. 

Moshe Lagnado   

Like a rose amongst the thorns, such is my beloved amongst the daughters. 

King Solomon describes the Jewish nation as untarnished even though she dwells with the pagans. This description is also apropos for my father. 

My father, Edouard Lagnado, zt”l, grew up in Egypt in a traditional home. In 1958 his family fled Cairo. Fate directed my father and his young family to San Diego, California, where he would live for the rest of his life. 

San Diego is a beautiful city.  The weather is excellent and the residents are relaxed and friendly. If you are not Jewish, it is a wonderful place to raise a family. In 1960, the Orthodox synagogue did not have a mechitsa, used a microphone even on Shabbat and holidays, but used a traditional siddur. The city had no Jewish school or a kosher bakery. Despite these negative factors, my father decided to settle there. 

Many other Jewish families fell in love with the city and created for themselves a new life, but in doing so they sacrificed their attachment to Torah. My father held fast to his Judaism. He made sure that his children had a proper Jewish education. My sisters traveled to the east coast for high school. I was sent to yeshiva in Los Angeles at thirteen. This was unheard of in San Diego at the time. I can imagine the ridicule my parents endured for their decisions. My parents knew what was right, and the scorn of others would not deter them. 

The Tzadik of San Diego 

My parents determined that my bar mitzvah would not be celebrated in a Conservative synagogue so prayers were held in my aunt’s large family room. The reception was at a major hotel. The food was a beautiful fruit plate, prepared under the supervision of one of the Orthodox rabbis.  

My friends complimented the beautiful fruit plate wondering what the main course would be. I was embarrassed because I knew that was the main course. My shame was short-lived because one of the rabbis spoke about my parents’ commitment to Torah by having a gorgeous party that was 100 percent kosher. The rabbi said my bar mitzvah was a historic event, a first for the city of San Diego – a bar mitzvah that celebrated a young man’s entrance into Torah obligations with only kosher food!  

My siblings and I called my father “Pap,” friends called him “Eddie,” business associates, “Mr. Lagnado.” As time went on, what people called him started to change. In shul he was called “Hacham David,” younger congregants preferred, “Baba David.” I pondered what changed, so that my father was looked at as a holy man when I remember him as an unassuming individual, very private in all his ways. 

In truth nothing changed, but people started to recognize his devotion to Hashem once he retired. From 65 until his passing no one in Southern California attended more minyanim than he did. Every day he attended prayers for Shaharit, Minha, and Arbit. More times than not he was the hazzan. My father prayed in a Chassidic minyan, and he was the hazzan of choice. The congregation enjoyed his clear pronunciation and his heartfelt kavanah. Immediately after prayers everyone would leave, and he stayed to learn a little. After a while most of the men started to stay, too, and the rabbi engaged them in a class. 

My father made friends easily. When he reached his 94th birthday he began to need help from his friends. My father’s apartment was on the third floor, and it became difficult for him to bring the shopping or the laundry up the stairs. His friends were always there to help. Once I mentioned how much I appreciated all that, his friend replied, “Moshe, your father is a holy man, and this apartment is a sanctuary. Some people go to synagogue to find a holy place. I am telling you there is no holier place like this apartment in all of San Diego.” 

My father’s memory, with Hashem’s help, will live on with all who knew him. May his blessed memory  serve as a tool for all of us to follow in his ways. Amen. 

Last month, the students and faculty of Magen David Yeshivah were privileged to receive a visit from the esteemed Hacham, Rabbi Yaakov Hillel, the Rosh Yeshivah of Ahavat Shalom in Israel. The rabbi was welcomed to the yeshivah by MDY’s  kindergartners and first and second grade students.  The third and fourth graders lined the lobby as Rabbi Mustacchi’s MDY Boys choir sang a warm and beautiful rendition of Yahid El Dagul.

Rabbi Hillel was then led by a procession of rabbis, faculty members, and Principal Rabbi Ezra Cohen-Saban to the stage in MDY’s auditorium to address the fifth to eighth graders.  The rabbi’s message to the over 400 students and faculty was to remember, honor, and respect our heritage and not to forget where we came from, and to let Torah permeate all aspects of your life.

“The children of the community are the future of the community…knowing where you came from will help lead you to where you are going,” were the words at the heart of Rabbi Hillel’s message.

The visit was an inspiration to all the students.  “The rabbi’s visit put everything into perspective for me,” commented eighth-grader Nate Ben-Zaken.  Aaron Cohen added, “From the moment the rabbi walked into the room, our eyes lit up like diamonds!”  The rabbi’s visit was truly impactful on our students; they will remember this day for years to come.

At the end of his address to the elementary school students, Rabbi Hillel was joined on stage by the entire rabium of our school to capture this memorable and historic moment.  He left the building with a throng of students and teachers surrounding him, eagerly awaiting his greetings and blessings.

This special and memorable morning at MDY came on the heels of the Hacham’s visit to Magen David Yeshivah High School the day before. Rabbinical leader Rabbi Eli J. Mansour ushered Rabbi Hillel into the bet midrash where the young men of the yeshivah greeted him with song before hearing his inspirational words. He instructed his listeners to have patience with Torah and to let the Torah affect all aspects of who you are, not just intellectually, but spiritually as well.

Before leaving, Rabbi Hillel spent some time with the young ladies of the yeshivah and gave them a “Blessing for Queens,” expressing how important women are for the continuation of our beautiful community and heritage