Put a coin into an empty bottle and insert a cork into the neck. How can you remove the coin without removing the cork or breaking the bottle?
Last Month’s Riddle: Card Trick
Three playing cards in a row. Can you name them with these clues? There is a two to the right of a king. A diamond will be found to the left of a spade. An ace is to the left of a heart. A heart is to the left of a spade. Now, identify all three cards.
Solution: The Ace of Diamonds, King of Hearts, and the Two of Spades.
Solved by: The Blum Family, Lauren Betesh, Sarah Zami, David Zami, David Ades, Nemo the Fish, Dovid Katz, The Shmulster, and Yosef Amram.
Junior Riddle: Four-Way Stop
Submitted by Lenore W.
Four cars come to a four-way stop, all coming from a different direction. They can’t decide who got there first, so they all go forward at the same time. They do not crash into each other, but all four cars go. How is this possible?
Last Month’s Junior Riddle: All In The Family
Mr. and Mrs. Mustard have six daughters and each daughter has one brother. How many people are in the Mustard family?
Solution: There are nine Mustards in the family. Since each daughter shares the same brother, there are six girls, one boy, and Mr. and Mrs. Mustard.
Solved by: The Blum Family, The Tawil Family, David Kamka, Jacqueline Smouha, Marc Smouha, Nemo the Fish, Big Mike, and The Squinchster,
Before entering the sukkah, one should have in mind that Hashem commanded us to sit in the sukkah to remember that He surrounded our ancestors with the Clouds of Glory when they left Egypt.
Throughout Sukkot, one should view the sukkah as his house. Therefore, eating, drinking, sleeping, relaxing, etc. should all be done in the sukkah. Nevertheless, while one fulfills a mitzvah every time he performs any of these activities in the sukkah, only the activities of eating, drinking, and sleeping strictly require a sukkah.
What foods must be eaten in the sukkah?
It is an admirable practice to ensure to eat all foods and drink all beverages – even water – in the sukkah. Foods made from any of the five principal grains – wheat, oats, barley, spelt and rye – must be eaten in the sukkah if one eats a quantity of more than a kebetzah, which is approximately 2 oz, or the volume of half an average pita. Other foods (including rice, even though we recite the berachah of “mezonot” over rice) may be eaten outside of the sukkah.
If one started eating a meal that includes at least a kebetzah of bread, he may not eat or drink even the slightest amount of food or drink outside of the sukkah during his meal. One should not even leave the sukkah with food in his mouth during the meal; he may leave the sukkah during the meal only after he has swallowed the food or drink in his mouth.
Which foods require the recitation of the berachah of “leshev basukkah”?
The berachah is recited only when eating at least a kebeitzah of bread or three kebetzim of mezonot foods, excluding rice.
When should one the berachah of “leshev basukkah”?
Generally, when one eats a meal with bread, he recites the berachah together with the berachah of hamotzi recited over the bread. On Shabbat and Yom Tov, however, the berachah of “leshev basukkah” is recited when reciting kiddush before the Shabbat or Yom Tov meal.
If one forgot to recite the berachah before he started eating, does he recite the berachah in the middle of the meal?
As long as one is still eating, even if he is eating dessert or just drinking, he may recite “leshev basukkah.” If, however, one is no longer eating or drinking, or if he already recited birkat hamazon, he can no longer recite the berachah.
May one recite arvit early on the first two nights of Sukkot?
On the first two nights of Sukkot, there is a requirement to eat bread in the sukkah. This is derived from the comparison indicated by the Torah between Sukkot and Pesach: just as there is an obligation to eat matzah on the first two nights of Pesach, there is an obligation to eat bread in the sukkah on the first two nights of Sukkot. As this constitutes a Torah obligation, it cannot be fulfilled until after dark, and therefore, one should not begin Yom Tov early.
Similar to Erev Pesach, one should not eat bread or mezonot foods after the 10th halachic hour of the day (around 4:30 pm) on Erev Sukkot.
How much bread must one eat on the first two nights of Sukkot?
On the first two nights of Sukkot, one should eat at least one kezayit – approximately one ounce – of bread, within a time frame of four to five minutes. According to some opinions, one should eat bit more than this amount. Throughout the remainder of the holiday, one is not required to eat bread.
Must one repeat Birkat Hamazon if he forgot to add “ya’aleh veyavo” during Sukkot?
On the first and second nights of Sukkot, when there is an obligation to eat bread, one who forgot to add ya’aleh veyavo in Birkat Hamazon must repeat it. At all other times during Sukkot, one does not repeat Birkat Hamazon. If one ate inside on the first or second night of Sukkot due to rain, and he forgot to add ya’aleh veyavo in Birkat Hamazon, he does not repeat it. Women never repeat Birkat Hamazon if they forgot ya’aleh veyavo during Sukkot.
What does one do if he forgot to recite the berachah of shehehiyanu on the first night of Sukkot?
The next morning, when he recites the berachah on his lulav and etrog, he should have in mind for the berachah of shehehiyanu to apply also to his sukkah.
What is the proper practice to follow if rain falls on the first night of Sukkot?
Preferably, one should wait for a short while for the rain to stop, and if it persists, then one may eat inside. If the rain stops after he ate his meal inside, before he went to sleep, he must eat at least an ounce (kezayit) of bread – preferably two ounces – in the sukkah.
If one did not eat in the sukkah on the first night of Sukkot due to rainfall, he nevertheless does not recite the berachah of shehehiyanu the following day, even though he then eats in the sukkah for the first time.
What if only a light drizzle falls?
One should determine whether that amount of rain would force him to relocate if it were falling in his house. If it would, then at that point he is exempt from the obligation of sukkah and should eat inside. Otherwise, he should eat in the sukkah, though one who starts eating when a small amount of rain falls does not recite the berachah of “leshev basukkah.”
When it comes to sleeping, even a slight amount of rain suffices to exempt a person from the obligation to sleep in the sukkah and allow him to sleep inside.
What if the rain has stopped, but water is still dripping into the sukkah?
If the amount of water dripping into the sukkah would be enough to force a person to move elsewhere if this were happening in his home, then he is not required to sit in the sukkah. But if the shechach is thick enough such that the rain is not entering his sukkah, he must eat in the sukkah.
If one covered his sukkah with an awning when it started raining, must he remove the awning when the rain stops?
Even if one is in the middle of his meal when the rain stops, he must interrupt his meal to remove the awning.
If one had continued eating under the protection of the awning when rain fell, he does not repeat the berachah of “leshev basukkah” after removing the awning when the rain stopped.
Must one return to the sukkah if the rain stops after he had moved inside?
If one already sat down to eat inside because of rain, he is not obligated to return to the sukkah when the rain stops. If he nevertheless wishes to return to the sukkah, he recites a new berachah of “leshev basukkah.” Similarly, if one went to sleep indoors due to rain, he is not required to move back into the sukkah in the middle of the night when the rain stops.
Is one allowed to travel on Sukkot to a place where he will not have access to a sukkah?
One who must travel to a different city for business on Sukkot, and has no sukkah available to him where he is staying, is exempt from the mitzvah of sukkah. However, one who is traveling for vacation or pleasure is still obligated to eat and sleep in the sukkah, and thus such trips may not be taken on Sukkot if no sukkah will be available.
Are children required to eat in the sukkah?
Boys from the age of five or six, depending on maturity, are required to eat in the sukkah. Nevertheless, one may give such a child food that requires a sukkah even if the child might not eat in the sukkah.
However, one may not tell the child that he must eat inside, and if the father sees his son eating inside, he should tell him to eat in the sukkah.
Must one eat in the sukkah if it is full of mosquitos, or very cold?
If the sukkah causes significant discomfort, such as if it is infested with flies or mosquitos, then one is exempt from the obligation to eat and sleep in the sukkah. If it is cold outside, one should wear warm clothes and eat in the sukkah. One who eats in the sukkah when it is very cold but wears warm clothing recites the berachah of “leshev basukkah.” One should also sleep in the sukkah with warm blankets, but if he is afraid of getting sick, he may sleep inside.
The 2021 MSB World Series began with an exhilarating start. Both Game One and Game Two were won via a walk-off (game winning hits in the last half inning of each game). The first place Ball Busters and the Wild Card winning Rubble On The Double were now set to play a decisive Game Three.
With emotions running at an all-time high and so much on the line, this World Series was sure to end with an epic finale, and boy did it live up to the billing.
The Game Heats Up
In the top half of the third inning, captain David “DT” Tawil drove in the game’s first run followed by another RBI by perennial winner Steven J. Gindi to propel Rubble On The Double to an early 2-0 lead. The inning was short circuited as the CY Young winning rookie Ray Sakkal buckled down and struck out the next batter, followed by ground out off the bat of the dangerous Natan Safdieh to hold it at 2.
In the bottom of the fourth inning , rising star Alan Jemal sparked the Ball Busters offense and blasted a two run HR that painted the left field line to tie it at 2. Captain Yanky Itzkowitz followed that up with a double and Hank Dweck drove him in with a bloop to right field to give the BB a 3-2 lead.
Rubble On The Double answered right back in the top of the 5th as rookie Elliot Setton cleared the bases with a 3 run triple followed by an RBI by fellow rookie Edmund Beyda and a deep sac fly off the bat of Natan Safdieh where Beyda tagged up from second base to put R.O.T.D. up 7-3.
Game Tied – But Not for Long
In this roller coaster game, no lead was safe, and the first place Ball Busters began to chip away. As the game headed to the bottom of the 5th, Itzkowitz ripped an RBI to cut the deficit to 3. The following inning the Ball Busters came all the way back as Mordy Grazi hit an RBI double, Abe Dweck drove in a run with a ground out, capped off by a blast in the left field gap by Yaakov Buff to tie it at 7!
The Ball Busters had a chance to walk it off in the bottom of the 7th with slugger Hank Dweck at the plate, but Edmund Beyda induced a ground ball followed by a long fly out with the bases loaded to send the game to extra innings.
Rubble On The Double wasted no time and loaded the bases, but failed to drive in a run as catcher extraordinaire put on a defensive clinic as he single-handedly made two spectacular plays on balls to end the threat. After a quiet bottom half of the 8th, R.O.T.D. for the second consecutive inning loaded the bases again! This time Edmund Beyda hit a deep fly ball to right and two runners tagged up and scored to give his team a 9-7 lead in the top of the 9th.
Tensions Mount in 9th Inning
The Ball Busters were 3 outs away from a disappointing end to a dominant season. In a season where they had a 14-3 record (post season included) they needed one last inning of magic.
Yaakov Buff lead off the inning with a walk but Edmund Beyda induced a fielder’s choice ground out and then Alan Jemal made an out. Rubble On The Double was now just ONE out away from pulling one of the greatest upsets in league history. With the season on the line, captain Yanky Itzkowitz worked out a tough walk to set the stage for Hank Dweck. The struggling Dweck hit a hot shot to Steven Gindi, Gindi instinctively tried to get the World Series winning force out to 2nd but unfortunately for Rubble On The Double, Itzkowitz was off to the races running hard on the release and created havoc on the bases, and was safe at second base as a run came in to score to make it a 9-8 game.
And the Crowd Gets to Their Feet
The capacity crowd was on their feet, the 2021 season was hanging in the balance. Edmund Beyda was doing everything he could to secure his first World Series title in his first year, and just had Butchy Cohen to retire to accomplish immortality. Beyda induced a weak bloop to short right field, Captain DT had it lined up, but Elliot Setton was barreling in and called him off. Setton gave up his body and went into an all-out sliding dive and the ball bounced in and out of his glove. The Ball Busters capitalized and scored 2 to win it in the third walk-off win of the series and ends the season with a 15-3 record! Alan Jemal took home the World Series MVP with his stellar play. On the series AJ went 6 for 11 with 2 walks, 2 doubles, a home run, 3 RBI’s, 3 runs scored, and played a stellar CF.
Highlights from this epic World Series can be found on the league’s website www.SYSoftball.com.
Sponsors
MSB would like to thank its amazing group of sponsors that makes this league possible. Community Assistance Fund, Bet Yaakov Orot Sarah, Eat N’ Run Café, and American Friends of Ariel University.
The 2021 MSB season was a smashing success. Looking forward to 2022!
2021 MSB AWARD WINNERS
MVP – Jack Harary (Mamba Mentality)
CY Young – Ray “Pay Day” Sakkal (Ball Busters)
Rookie of the Year- Shua Dany (Ball Busters)
Comeback Player of the Year- Marc Richter (The Jokers)
Gold Glove Winners:
Pitcher – Ray “Pay Day” Sakkal (Ball Busters)
Catcher – Albert Massre (Rubble On The Double)
First Base – Marc Richter (The Jokers)
Second Base – Eli Harari (The Jokers)
Short Center Field – Yanky Itzkowitz (Ball Busters)
Last month, over 400 students, alumni, and parents of Magen David Yeshivah Elementary and High School assembled for the MDY Night of Learning and Unity in memory of Elliot Torkieh, a”h. This event, graciously hosted by Marshall and Jeannie Mizrahi provided the opportunity for reflection and growth while listening to the inspiring words of our dedicated and caring rabbis and teachers. The night began with opening remarks from Rosh Yeshivah Rabbi Harold Sutton, followed by the touching words of Elliot’s brother, Solly, who spoke eloquently about his brother and the inspiration Elliot had on his life.
Next, everyone attended their sessions led by administrators and teachers of both the elementary and high school. Rabbi Ezra Cohen-Saban, principal of Magen David Yeshivah Elementary School, gave a class to parents while alumni, 7th and 8th graders, and high school students learned with Rabbi Isaac Tawil, Director of Student Life of MDYHS, Mrs. Esther Tokayer, Associate Principal of MDYHS, Rabbi Nathan Zaboulani, Mrs. Sally Mishanieh, Director of Student Services, and Rabbi Joey Mizrahi, Religious Advisor and Educational Leader for Judaic Studies Grades 6-8.
The sense of unity was palpable as people lingered after the classes to spend more time enjoying each other’s company. Everyone felt the special connection they have with each other as members of the Magen David Yeshivah community. Magen David Yeshivah Elementary and High School is undoubtedly one united family.
Judge Gina Levy Abadi Nominated for NY Supreme Court Justice Seat
Last month, Councilman Mark Treyger and Brooklyn Democratic Party Chair and Assemblywoman Rodneyse Bichotte Hermelyn struck victory with their endorsed candidate Judge Gina Levy Abadi as she was elected as a Democratic nominee for NY Supreme Court Judge.
Judge Abadi is the first Orthodox Sephardic Jewish female to seek a seat in the NY Supreme Court.
Treyger and Bichotte helped secure Judge Levy Abadi’s nomination by assembling broad coalitions together in a tight race, with the support of the Jewish community including the Sephardic Federation Community, and many Jewish leaders in Borough Park and Flatbush.
“My district and I are so grateful to Brooklyn Democratic Party Chair Rodneyse Bichotte and to all of my colleagues for their support to advance Judge Gina Levy Abadi as the Democratic nominee for New York Supreme Court,” said Councilman Mark Treyger. “Judge Levy Abadi has devoted her career to public service as well as charitable work in Southern Brooklyn. Her service on the bench has been impeccable and she earned this victory every step of the way.”
“Justice Abadi is a proud Orthodox Sephardic Jewish woman whose parents came to the U.S. to practice their faith openly. She has never forgotten her humble roots, and relentlessly fights for unbiased justice,” added Rodneyse Bichotte Hermelyn.
Urgent Public Service Announcement from Chaveirim
The following important public announcement was sent by Chaveirim United:
Twenty years ago, an unlikely dream became an undeniable reality. Through tireless collective efforts, constant siyatta dishmaya, and the absolute support of our respective communities, Chaveirim morphed into the established network that you are familiar with today.
Chaveirim was founded with nothing but hopeful idealism, loving-kindness, and a sincere drive for hesed. We persevered, we rallied, and we built this organization from the ground up.
The name Chaveirim has earned respect and distinction backed up by two decades of honesty, competence, and dependability. The standard of training and equipment that our members receive are second to none.
For this reason, we feel it important to inform the public of a potential misrepresentation. A WhatsApp group of individuals who call themselves “Chavivim” has unfortunately been causing some deliberate confusion and unease to you, the caller, in recent months.
Because they seem to be doing exactly the kind of work that we do, we want to make it clear that we are in no way affiliated or responsible for any damage, mishaps, or activities by this group, which is comprised mostly of rejected applicants of various local Chaveirim chapters.
We want to thank our communities for their continued support, trust, and contributions. As always, Chaveirim strives to continue maintaining the level of professionalism and propriety that has come to be expected of us.
Thank you for such a heartfelt tribute to Rabbi Lankry, zt”l (On Call for the Community – The Life and Legacy of Rabbi Shlomo Lankry). Rabbi Lankry was such a “giant” of a man who will be sorely missed by so many in the community. May Hashem comfort his family and may his neshamah have a smooth aliyah.
Morris T.
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Few words can adequately explain my sense of grief upon reading about the passing of Rabbi Shlomo Lankry, zt”l. My family and I are devastated at our community’s tremendous loss. Of course, Rabbi Lankry would probably tell us to go on and that he was no longer needed here… but we all feel like a flock without a shepherd. I will always cherish his reassuring smile and words of wisdom and encouragement. He will forever remain etched in my heart and in my memory. I feel extremely fortunate for the privilege of having known him for so many years. Baruch Dayan HaEmet.
Alan B.
Back to School
Last month’s article about preparing our kids for the new school year (Back to School, Back to Normal) offered some great advice. I would like to share a tip that always worked for me when I had young children attending school. Have a snack or a meal ready for your child and eat with him. Bonds are formed over food. This is your child’s chance to tell you about his day and for you to listen and mirror. By repeating your child’s words to him, you let him know you’re really listening: this shows him that what he experiences and feels is important to you.
Claire A.
Ask Jido
Jido offered sage advice to the person who is constantly concerned about what other people think of him. One thing I learned so long ago, is that people are just as concerned, if not more so, about what you think of them, not just what they think of you. Take a moment to consider that people generally want you to succeed, are usually more concerned about how they themselves might be judged, and are just as afraid – if not more so – as you are. If you do this you never have to be afraid again. EVERYBODY is afraid of being judged negatively and, if they are acting judgmental towards you, it’s usually to deflect attention away from themselves and their self-perceived inadequacies. Be who you want to be, NOT what others want to see.
Susan M.
Online Courses
Last issue’s column about virtual university courses was quite interesting. However, one must make sure that the classes being taken are accredited. Many online educational facilities are not accredited, which means that your degree and qualifications may not be recognized or taken seriously by professionals such as potential employers. This also means that your credits may not be transferable to another university if you choose to pursue your education at another college. This can become a costly mistake if you have chosen your university incorrectly, both in terms of time and money.
Alex L.
New Recipe Column
I love the new recipe column by Susan Zayat (@HungryMom’s Food Diary)! My family and I especially enjoyed the Pastrami Stuffed Burger recipe. It was a huge hit – especially with my kids. Keep the tasty recipes coming, please!
How can we make this year different than years past?
Kelly Jemal Massry
Every year, as Rosh Hashanah approaches, we take stock of our lives. We examine the past year and we starkly see how we have strayed. We know we need to be closer to Hashem, kinder to our spouses, more merciful to ourselves. We admit that we should be leading more focused lives, and seizing the spiritual potential in every moment. Quite possibly, too, we should be leaving the confines of our insular bubble and reaching out to help others.
With the onset of Rosh Hashanah, we resolve to do all of these things – to live better, fuller, more meaningful lives, lives that we use to make a contribution, lives that are happy because they are never empty. And we resolve to live with greater self-awareness, to be more cognizant of our own psychological pitfalls and more determined to avoid them.
Between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we behave angelically – or try to, anyway – performing all our duties to the utmost of our abilities. We take this feeling into the first few days of the new year, and it succeeds in altering our behavior for a while.
Then, sometime after Yom Kippur, this success begins to wane. We stop living with so much focus and attention. We fall back to our old routine of the previous year – filling our time with work, school, and the grind of day-to-day life. We begin to slip yet again, as our new year resolutions slowly drift away.
The question is, how can we make this year different than years past? What can be done to ensure that we stick to our resolutions for an entire year?
Choose One Area to Commit to Improving
While there are certainly no foolproof answers to these questions, it helps to ground the task a bit, to take it from the impossible to the real. Perhaps we can start by picking one area to focus on – whether it concerns our spiritual lives or the lives that touch closer to home. Then, we might narrow it further, by picking one aspect within that area to which we devote our attention. A lot of thought needs to go into the decision, of course, because the area we choose needs to be important enough that it overrides everything else and has our unwavering commitment.
That’s the key word here: commitment. Truly committing to something means making a sacred vow, setting a goal that fills your waking thoughts to the extent that it could very well be the first thing you think about in the morning. That goal must set up shop in a corner of our mind and never really leave our consciousness.
To make our resolution last, it must be transferred from the mental, theoretical realm to the real-life, pragmatic realm. We need to find ways for our resolutions and our real lives to intersect. Perhaps we can write it out in bold and hang it in the office, in the kitchen, or somewhere else where we spend a lot of time. Like a petulant child, it needs to repeatedly nag, begging to be let in to the fabric of our lives. Following through with it means giving into it, actually doing it again and again until it becomes perfectly natural and second-nature.
Share the Burden
Still, the fact remains that change, breaking old habits, shifting directions, and becoming a better person, will always be difficult. The prospect of change, for most people, is either frightening or impossible. One way to overcome our natural obstacles is to share the burden, by expressing our desire to change to the most important people in our lives – spouses, parents, co-workers, and yes, even children. We can delegate the responsibility of our improvement to those who love us, and let them monitor our progress. Sometimes, the perspective of a different set of eyes can help us to understand ourselves more clearly. It is so hard to face the truth about ourselves – but it becomes much easier when it is couched in the gentle love of those who care for us.
So this Rosh Hashanah, let us all make that all-important accounting of our lives, and carefully choose one specific area of improvement. Let us then take the steps needed to make our resolution real and concrete, recognizing that we do not have to do it alone. Perhaps, when we all watch out for each other and truly accept this mutual responsibility, we will become the best selves that we can be.
Men don’t usually sit over coffee talking about their marriages. That’s why a particular conversation I once had with two other men really sticks out in my mind.
The three of us were sitting and discussing the joys of wedded life. “I love my wife,” Benny said. “That’s why I do everything she asks me to do. She says, ‘Benny, please take out the garbage,’ and right away, I take out the garbage.” We all agreed that Benny loves his wife.
Not to be outdone, I said, “I also do everything my wife asks me to do. In fact, she doesn’t even have to spell out what she wants. It’s enough that she says, ‘Whew! That garbage bag is sure smelling up the kitchen!’ for me to understand that she wants me to take out the garbage. Which I do, of course.” We all agreed that I love my wife even more than Benny loves his.
But in the end, it turned out that Steven’s marriage was the most loving of all. Steven’s wife doesn’t have to ask him to do things for her. She doesn’t even have to drop hints. “I wake up in the morning,” Steven explained, “and I just know that she wants me to take out the garbage. Or buy her a gift like a piece of jewelry. She doesn’t have to crinkle her nose or mention the ring her cousin Sarah got for her birthday. I just know what she wants me to do for her, and I do it.”
Showing Love for Gd – “Steven Style”
The month of Tishre is replete with mitzvot, full of opportunities for carrying out Gd’s will. For more than three weeks, our days are filled with praying, repenting, fasting, feasting, dancing, building a sukkah, acquiring a set of a lulav and etrog, or a bundle of hoshaanot, and dozens of other mitzvot, customs, and observances.
The observances of Tishre fall under three general categories. There are Biblical precepts that are explicitly commanded in the Torah, such as sounding the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, fasting on Yom Kippur, and eating in the sukkah on Sukkot. There are also a number of rabbinical mitzvot – observances instituted by the prophets and the sages by the authority vested in them by the Torah. For example, the five prayer services held on Yom Kippur and the taking of the arba’ah minim (four species) on all but the first day of Sukkot are rabbinical institutions.
Finally, the month of Tishre has many minhagim, customs that are not formally required by the Torah or by the sages. These include eating an apple dipped in honey on the first night of Rosh Hashanah and conducting the kaparot ritual in the wee hours of the morning on the day before Yom Kippur. The minhagim are not mandated by Biblical or rabbinical law, but by force of custom. These are practices that we Jews have initiated ourselves as ways to enhance our service of our Creator.
Most amazingly, the climax of the month of Tishre – the point at which our celebration of our bond with Gd reaches the greatest heights of joy – is during the hakafot on Simhat Torah, when we take the Torah scrolls in our arms and dance with them around the reading table in the synagogue – a practice that is neither a Biblical nor a rabbinical precept, but is merely a custom.
It is specifically through our observance of the minhagim that we express the depth of our love for Gd. The Biblical commandments might be compared to the explicitly expressed desires between two people bound in marriage. The rabbinical mitzvot, which Gd did not directly command but nevertheless constitute expressions of the Divine will, resemble the implied requests between spouses. But the minhagim represent those areas in which we intuitively sense how we might bring Gd pleasure, and in these lie our greatest joy.
Yanki Tauber is an editor and an accomplished author.
At the time of writing, the COVID-19 situation, and the situation in the world in general, seem to be changing so rapidly it is hard to predict with certainty what even the next few weeks will bring. The facts noted in this article and the opinions professed are accurate in the moment. By the time of publication, you may already see things have changed. We are all praying for an end to the pandemic and a return to life as normal. As it stands, after a year of on-and-off Zoom learning, schools across the country are mandating in-person learning this coming school year.
Mixed Reactions to the Reopening of Schools
Students, teachers, and parents are enthusiastic about a full reopening of schools for the 2021-2022 school year. However, returning to school for in-person learning may also be causing some nervousness about being in a more structured setting and processing new rules and relationships.
While we look forward to connecting with classmates and colleagues in person, we acknowledge that the COVID-19 environment is constantly changing. Normal as we knew it before the pandemic has changed. We have become accustomed to living a pandemic life.
A New Focus
A year ago, the million-dollar question was: can our children return to school safely? The COVID-19 environment was unpredictable, and people had not been vaccinated. The Covid situation has improved tremendously, and the vaccine rollout continues, but we are not yet out of the woods. We must be prepared for disruptions to in-person school if the number of COVID-19 cases surges.
This year, public officials are focusing on recovery and healing, bringing staff and students back to work and school, and keeping them safe. Some educators call it a resilient reopening. Why resilient? Practicing resilience is what got us successfully through the past 17 months and will continue to enable us to live as normal a life as we can. We lived with uncertainty and turned difficult situations into opportunities.
In July, NYC Mayor de Blasio announced that NYC is back and fully reopened. Sixty-six percent of the city’s adult population was fully vaccinated as of early August.
NJ Governor Murphy is also proud that NJ’s full vaccinated rate reached 58% but sounded the alarm on the “pandemic of the unvaccinated.”
Delta Variant Changes the Game
The Delta variant has thrown us a curveball and government and health officials are laser focused on fighting it.
On July 9th, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced that only unvaccinated staff and students need to wear masks in schools. Eighteen days later, on July 27th, the CDC reversed course, and now recommends that all students and staff mask up, irrespective of vaccination status.
The updated guidance advises wearing a mask in indoor public settings in areas of substantial and high transmission.
Why the Reversal?
There is clear and mounting evidence that breakthrough COVID-19 infections can arise in fully vaccinated individuals. The good news is that if COVID-19 infection does occur, it is much less likely to cause serious illness or death for those who are vaccinated.
Moreover, officials are gratified that schools have not been a major cause of Covid spreading, which they attribute to the combination of prevention measures that have been in place and have proved effective.
A key takeaway from the CDC updated guidance is that students benefit from in-person learning, and safely returning to in-person instruction is a priority.
School policies related to masking and COVID-19 protocols are determined by individual states.
Most state/local health officials stopped short of mandating indoor mask wearing. In vicinities where COVID-19 is spreading, officials are promoting masking in public indoor settings as an additional defense against the Delta variant.
Staying Calm and Preparing Kids for Returning to School
First, we should acknowledge and thank both our private and public officials for keeping our children’s health their number one priority.
Mayor De Blasio is promoting vaccination as the key public intervention to keep New Yorkers safe. He cites evidence that masking, while helpful, does not provide as effective protection as the vaccine does.
NYC and NJ public schools will require students and staff to wear masks inside of school buildings, regardless of vaccination status.
This morning, however, I heard a quote from former CDC Director Redfield explaining, that “masking is not a one-size-fits-all question.”
Yes, many of us will be disappointed if asked to return to wearing masks indoors. However, it may only be for a short period. As Dr. Brenda Phillips, an emergency management and disaster recovery expert, so aptly put it, “We can do this a bit longer, if necessary, to help the people around us. It’s our responsibility as humans to take care of each other.”
This particularly rings true for us as Jews. We are committed to pikuach nefesh, the preservation of human life and to the value of taking responsibility for others as well as ourselves.
Let’s follow the science and stay connected with our children’s school administration leaders who are monitoring the COVID-19 situation carefully.
The yeshivot I surveyed in the Brooklyn and the Jersey Shore communities are planning on a regular in-person school year. At the time I contacted these yeshivot, mandated masking for indoor spaces had not been adopted.
The administrators will continue to scrutinize the fluid Covid situation, and the health and safety of the students and staff remain their top priority. They will respond appropriately in accordance with the guidance of their medical teams.
Are You Ready to Do This?
Educators are advocating that we prepare our children for school academically, socially, and emotionally. The social and emotional aspects are being given additional emphasis this year because of the traumatic effects of the COVID-19 pandemic on children. We need to help our children unpack numerous complex emotions as they get ready to return to school.
Nothing beats being in a classroom. Over 50 percent of public-school K-12 teachers reported that the pandemic caused a “significant” learning loss for students, both academically and in their social-emotional progress.
Dust Off Your BTS Toolbox and Get Positive
Model a positive mindset about the return to school and encourage your children to think about what they can look forward to. Turn that frown upside down. Take time to express gratitude at the dinner table, especially on Shabbat. We overcame challenges, learned new skills, and faced adversity with grace, determination, and even humor.
Arrange a Family Meeting
Carve out time for a special outing or a trip to a fun venue before school starts. Discuss how everyone is feeling about returning to school. That includes moms and dads too who may be returning to the office and need to plan and transition again for carpools, meal planning, and more. Tease out significant concerns.
In pre-pandemic times, children experienced anxiety, trepidation, or stress about starting a new grade or a new school. The pandemic added the fear of getting sick, along with the usual back-to-school anxiety.
The students who opted for Zoom or hybrid learning last year, may need assistance adjusting to being in school full time. They may experience separation anxiety over leaving their families after over a year of togetherness and may feel apprehensive about leaving their safe harbor from the pandemic.
They may be worried about navigating in-person relationships and a more controlled setting in school.
Consider how children will adapt to their parents returning to the workplace. Nannies or grandparents may be stepping in again after school to take children off the bus and settle them in for a snack and homework.
Communicate
Explain to your kids that you are always there for them and that they have your unconditional support.
Communicate hope and confidence but avoid making promises you cannot keep. Encourage your children to be flexible, and to expect changes, as the COVID-19 world is still unpredictable.
Listen, Listen, and Listen
If ever there was a time to practice my coaching professor’s mantra, WAIT, “Why am I talking?” the time is now.
Practice active listening and validate your children’s feelings, fears, and anxieties. Listen to what they are saying and not saying (their unspoken feelings). Help them to articulate their emotions.
Supplies
Are you all set with school supplies, uniforms, and gear?
Our kids feel happy, confident, and prepared when returning to school when they have the basics. Who does not enjoy a new pack of Crayola crayons or a new binder?
Give your children skin in the game by having them shop with you in person or online, within budget guidelines, of course.
New Beginnings
Rosh Hashanah and the new school year are about new beginnings, affording parents and children alike the opportunity to take a fresh look at themselves.
Help your children identify their unique special spark, their talents, strengths, and passions.
Encourage your children to pick a new mitzvah to incorporate into their lives. Highlight middot tovot, and kindness to others, above all to new classmates.
Wishing you lots of good health, mazal, and a shana tova!
Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).
“I was always very determined and was a strong student. Hashem blessed me in so many ways. Living in three different countries and Jewish communities by the time I was 13 years of age helped me adapt quickly, both personally and in my career.” ~~ Tania ~~
ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS
Please meet Tania Zeitoune, née Abadi, a vibrant dual language educator in the Brooklyn public school system. What perfect timing that I connected with Tania as we prepare our children and ourselves for the new school year.
One of the first things that Tania told me was that she is an atypical Syrian girl. Every person is indeed unique, but Tania, born in Israel, lived in three countries, Guatemala, Venezuela, and Panama by the time she turned thirteen. She then moved to Brooklyn with her mother, Gina Abadi, her twin sister, and younger sister. Unfortunately, her father, Ezra Abadi, a”h, passed away before they left Panama.
Tania’s father was in the import/export business, which was the reason for the family’s several moves. Both of Tania’s parents were born in Lebanon to families of Syrian descent, and they both emigrated to Venezuela separately. The couple met in Venezuela and married in Israel.
Tania’s mother enrolled her at Magen David Yeshivah and the family prayed at the Sephardic Lebanese Congregation, where Tania and her family are now members.
Tania consistently excelled in school. She was fluent in both Spanish and English. “My mother was very caring. She was committed to education and instilled its significance in us. She gave me the confidence to shine academically. Before we started a new grade, she prepared us for the upcoming year by reviewing the new curriculum and doing worksheets with us. This allowed me to have a head start on the academics and focus on getting comfortable socially.”
It is no surprise that Gina coached her children during the summers. She studied in France to become a French teacher and returned to Lebanon.
College and Career
Tania graduated MDY High School as salutatorian and was accepted into the Willian E. Macauley Honors Program at Brooklyn College. She achieved a perfect score on the math SAT, and declared a major in accounting. Tania later realized that accounting did not come naturally and she switched to business and marketing. Tania scored paid internships, studied abroad in Italy, and thrived while performing marketing in the financial world.
Then Came Marriage
At the outset of her career, Tania was hired to do marketing for a senior home and was putting in long hours. It was hashgacha pratit that Tania met her naseeb, Raymond Zeitoune, at a mutual family friend’s barbeque. After the BBQ, Raymond asked a mutual friend to set them up. Raymond, four years older than Tania, had graduated Fordham Law School and was excited when he was introduced to her. Raymond wanted not only a wife and mother but a partner too, and he was attracted to Tania’s out of the box childhood and energy. Tania was blessed to meet a soulmate who appreciated her passionate nature and would support her professional growth.
Raymond has his own legal practice and the couple have three children, an eleven-year-old daughter and two sons, eight and six years old. They chose Yeshiva Derech Eretz for their children for its blend of authentic Jewish values and its commitment to excellence in Torah education and academic studies.
Career Choices
Tania was set on going for a master’s degree in business, and then pivoted to education. “I was pregnant with my first child and knew I was social, super patient, and liked to teach. In high school I volunteered for an organization dedicated to working with children with special needs. I registered in Touro College for Special Education. I gave birth to my daughter during grad school and attended classes on Sunday and in the evenings.”
Her master’s program included general and special education and a bilingual specialty. Tania shared that it was from shamayim that she drove home a Touro classmate who encouraged her to apply for an internship certificate only a week before the deadline. The certificate would allow Tania to finish her degree while working and getting paid. Tania applied for a paraprofessional/shadow position but was offered a job as a bilingual SEIT. A SEIT is a Special Education Itinerant Teacher who travels to different schools and homes and helps children to integrate into mainstream classrooms, despite their challenges with social/emotional, behavioral, speech, language, or developmental issues.
Tania was a SEIT for eight years for the OMNI Childhood Center, an approved provider of SEITs. She worked in various public schools for the first four years and was placed at MDY for the last four. After Tania completed her master’s degree, Omni paid for her bilingual degree, and she became a bilingual SEIT.
Work-Family Balance
“My years as a SEIT offered me terrific opportunities and flexibility. My daughter was 11 months old when I started. I traveled to several schools and worked 25 hours a week with three- and four-year-olds.” My husband has been my biggest champion emotionally and in every way. He helped me grow my career, pitching in when the nanny wasn’t available and with emergencies. My mother was also there for me especially in the beginning and was my role model as an educator. For the first five years as a SEIT, I worked 12 consecutive months since the bilingual children get twelve months of mandated services.”
Tania was grateful that during her SEIT years, her children never felt that she worked, as she left the house after they went off to school and returned before they came home. The parents of the kids Tania taught greatly appreciated her contributions to their children’s education and development.
Change Can Be Good
When the government limited the funding for SEIT programs, Tania knew it was time for a change. A mother of a SEIT colleague advised Tania that her daughter’s principal was looking to hire. Three years ago, a week before September, the principal of P.S. 90 in Coney Island contacted Tania and hired her as a special education teacher. Shortly thereafter, she transferred Tania to a dual language class.
The transition was challenging but rewarding. The biggest hurdle was that Tania’s work schedule was not in sync with her children’s yeshiva schedule, especially the winter break. “My kids appreciate life and are proud of what I’m doing. They help me prepare presents for my students and watch me grade papers. Raymond steps in and takes them to visit their grandparents in Florida over the winter break. It’s important for kids to know they can’t always get everything.”
Tania explained that the parents of dual language students apply six months in advance to obtain these limited spots for their children, and they are invested in their children’s progress. “The immigrant parents don’t speak English and are unprivileged, but they care a lot about education and are the best assets. I clarify that we are a team. Our partnership leads to victory. I am very warm and caring but can be strong when needed. I want my students to succeed.”
What Lights Tania Up?
Her passions are family and teaching. “I am a working mom and my family is my number one priority and my job is number two. I give my children whatever they need, emotionally and financially, that’s what drives me: my energy revolves around my husband and kids. I have a terrific work-life balance, but it took time and effort to create it. I go above and beyond in the classroom and outside of it. My diverse childhood helped me adjust swiftly and in so many ways.”
Out of the Mouth of Babes
Tania’s young daughter described her mother beautifully in a biography, writing that her mom had moved from country to country and was determined to have a great life. “Tania always focuses on the present, not the past or the future. Growing up, Tania believed in being hard working, responsible, and generous.”
The Pandemic
Tania taught via Zoom from her husband’s office in the basement. She proudly read insights from her daughter’s Covid essay about learning to never give up and being flexible. Her daughter described how everyone had their own space in the house to learn on Zoom, but it was online learning that made it different.
Community
Tania deeply values her community and feels a strong sense of belonging. “I love our community and with my busy schedule as a working mom, the community helps me feel grounded.”
Hobbies and Life Interests
After her top passions of family and teaching, Tania’s interests include a love of exercising, spending time in nature, traveling, relaxing at the beach, and cooking.
What’s Next
Given Tania’s growth mindset and love of learning, she is open to the possibility of returning to school for an advanced degree for an administrator/principal role: “the possibilities are endless.”
Tania emphasized the value of creating a good relationship with one’s administrator. Building relationships with her supervisors allows her to attend her children’s special school events – it’s a give and take.
Tania’s message to community women is that there are obtainable career opportunities. Tania’s mission is to inspire and motivate them with the lessons she learned about knowing one’s self-worth and balancing family and career.
Tania can be reached at tania.abadi@gmail.com.
Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).
