QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi Ali,

Thank you for your monthly articles, I have gained so much clarity in my relationship. I was wondering if you have any tips on how to deal with lying. How do I get my husband to admit when he was wrong? He will deny that I caught him lying or get upset at me for interrogating him. He also tells me he will be home at a certain time but comes home much later without apologizing. Is there a way to get him to see that he is wrong?

R’ Ali’s Response:

I’m glad that you are gaining from the articles, that’s wonderful. It’s also great that you reached out with your own personal question. People can be stuck with an issue for years for no reason. Most of the time a simple answer can dramatically alter someone’s relationship for the better.

You should know that your type of question is not uncommon. Most, if not all of the questions that people ask me are common. The scenarios will differ from one couple to the next but the root of the issues is common. The reason I mention this is to make people feel that they are normal and to encourage them to ask for help.

So, you want to know what to do with a lying spouse, how to put a stop to it, and get him to admit he’s wrong. Well, that’s a tall order! I would rather give a different perspective. As a matter of fact, you yourself have probably tried many clever ways of putting a stop to the lying. Maybe it’s time to look at things from a different perspective.

I like to ask my clients two questions. The first is, why do you think that your spouse is lying? When I ask people this, most of the time they say, “I don’t know.” Now, this doesn’t justify a spouse not being honest with you, but it’s worthwhile understanding their motive for what you see as their being dishonest. When you understand why your spouse behaves the way they do, it can help remove a lot of frustration. It can also help you approach situations in an entirely different way.

Most of the time a spouse is not being honest due to one of two reasons. The more common one is fear. They are scared to tell you the truth because they know good and well what your reaction

will be, and that reaction is anything but pleasant. Let’s take a common scenario. Someone would like to spend time with a friend. They know that their spouse won’t be happy with this idea. They now have a choice, to tell the truth and deal with the unpleasant reaction, or to make up a story to avoid the friction.

If you can identify that this is where you are going wrong, you will have accomplished two things. One, you possibly won’t feel deceived or tricked. Understanding that they are being put in a situation that they don’t know how to handle can make you see them as “stuck” rather than a compulsive liar. And practically speaking, you can avoid these lies going forward.

You can contemplate that maybe you aren’t giving them the space that they need and then you will not be bothered so much when they want to go out with friends. This way they will be more open to telling you where they’re going. If this is too hard, you can be more communicative in the future. For example; instead of saying, “You’re hanging out with them again?!” You can say “I’d like to spend time with you as well,” or “I need your help at home, can you please come help – and then go out?”

Again, this is just one scenario, but the point is to communicate in a way that will encourage transparency. Clearly, I would advise your spouse to do the same thing. Be more communicative and not fear transparency.

The second question that I ask my clients is, “Are you sure they’re lying?” To this most people will say, “Yes!” However, from my experience, many times people jump to conclusions and assume the worst. This point needs more elaboration, which is beyond the scope of this article.

To summarize, it’s important to analyze your situation. Is your spouse really lying and if they are, what part am I playing in this? And, of course, pray to Hashem that He gives you the siyata d’shmaya that you need to have a successful relationship.

Intelligence can be assessed in several different ways, and with several different yardsticks. For example, Pirkeh Avot (4:1) teaches that the wise man is someone who learns from all people. The Gemara (Tamid 32a) defines a wise man as somebody “haroeh et hanolad” – who foresees the outcome of his actions and behaves accordingly.

A lesser-known, but no less critical, definition of wisdom is presented by the Midrash in its depiction of Eliezer – the trusted servant of Avraham Avinu, who takes center stage in one of the stories we read this month in the Book of Beresheet. Avraham quite literally entrusted Eliezer with the future of his family and of the nation he was to establish, by assigning him the task of finding a match for his son and heir to his covenant with Gd, Yitzhak. And, according to the Midrash, Eliezer was brilliant.

The Brilliant Servant

The Midrash cites King Shlomo’s description in Mishleh (17:2) of an “eved maskil – intelligent servant,” and it applies this description to Eliezer. He was a descendant of Ham, one of the three sons of Noah, who brazenly disrespected his father, for which he and his descendants were cursed with eternal servitude. Eliezer was well aware that he was – through no fault of his own – consigned to spend his life as a servant. And he decided that instead of serving some cruel, barbaric master, it was in his best interest to become a servant for a righteous person like Avraham Avinu – and this is what he did.

At first glance, this hardly appears as a stroke of genius. Is this not a fairly simple decision that any one of us could make? What was so brilliant about Eliezer’s attitude for which he is lauded as an “eved maskil” – an especially wise servant?

The truth is that Eliezer’s thoughts on his status were indeed brilliant, and, unfortunately, few of us are this intelligent in our attitudes toward our own lives.

Like Eliezer, we are all brought into undesirable circumstances against our will. I have met many people in my life, and I cannot think of a single individual who enjoys a life without some sort of challenge. Some people struggle because of their upbringing, because of the way their parents raised them, or because of a school or a teacher. Some people struggle because of a health problem from which, Heaven forbid, they or a family member suffer. Some people struggle financially. Some people struggle with tensions among family members, or with their neighbor. Some people struggle because of mental health challenges. Some people struggle because of an addiction which they developed. Some people struggle with a child, or with several of their children.

And many (most?) people struggle with some combination of these challenges, and others.

Few of us, however, approach life’s challenges with the composure and levelheadedness displayed by Eliezer.

As the Midrash describes, Eliezer wasn’t embittered or resentful. He didn’t complain. He didn’t wallow in self-pity. He didn’t blame the world for his compromised social standing, for the proverbial “glass ceiling” that constrained him. Instead, he decided to make the best of his situation, to excel within the framework he was placed in, to achieve the most he could under his circumstances.

The result? Eliezer is credited with helping to build the Jewish People, by succeeding in his mission to bring a worthy marriage partner for Yitzhak. His words and actions in this story occupy a considerable amount of space in the Torah, and have been carefully studied and analyzed by laymen and scholars for millennia, and will always be. In fact, the sages comment about Eliezer, “The conversations of the patriarchs’ servants are greater than the Torah of their offspring” – as evidenced by the fact that the Torah elaborates at length in presenting Eliezer’s story, but is often very brief in introducing mitzvot. Eliezer earned himself a special place in the Torah and in the hearts and minds of Jews throughout the ages.

None of this would have happened if Eliezer was angry and bitter. Resentment and self-pity would not have gotten him anywhere. Eliezer was successful because he had a very rare form of wisdom – the wisdom to accept life’s circumstances and make the most of them. He understood that he was going to live his life as a servant – and so he decided to become the greatest servant that he could be, for the greatest man of his time.

We Have EVERYTHING!

Not surprisingly, Avraham Avinu himself also excelled in this special quality.

The Torah introduces this section by saying, “Gd had blessed with Avraham with everything” (24:1).

Did Avraham really have everything? True, he enjoyed great wealth and prestige, but did he really have everything? At this point in his life, his beloved wife was no longer alive. One of his two sons needed to be driven from the house. Just several verses earlier, the Torah tells of the family of his brother, Nachor, who had twelve children and several grandchildren. Nachor, an idol-worshipper, enjoyed peace, comfort and a large family, while Avraham traveled from place to place, had to fight a war, twice saw his wife abducted, and did not beget children until old age.

Yet, as Rav Yechezkel Levenstein (1885-1974) explains, Avraham had “everything” in the sense that he had everything he needed to fulfill his unique mission. Avraham lived each day of his life with the mindset that his circumstances were not random, but rather specifically designed for him to achieve what he was brought into the world to achieve.

Rashi, commenting on this verse, notes that the word bakol (“with everything”) has the same gematria (numerical value) as the word ben – son (52). The Torah here introduces the story of the search of a spouse for Yitzhak by telling us that Avraham had a son, which led him to instruct Eliezer to find a suitable partner. Now, we of course already know that Avraham had a son. But the Torah here is emphasizing that Avraham saw it as his mission at that point to find his son a wife. He looked at his circumstances to determine what his obligation was at that time – and right now, his responsibility was to find a wife for Yitzhak.

This is precisely how we are expected to live life – to focus on our situation, on our current challenges, and determine what Gd expects of us under these conditions.

So often people ask themselves questions such as, “Why aren’t my children like so-and-so’s children?”; “Why wasn’t I raised in a family like so-and-so’s family?”; “Why can’t I find a good job like so-and-so?”; “Why is it so much harder for me to marry off my children than it was for so-and-so?”; “Why aren’t I as smart as so-and-so?”

These questions all work off the grievously mistaken assumption that we and Mr./Mrs. So-And-So are supposed to live the same life. If this were true, then Gd would have created either us or Mr./Mrs. So-And-So. But Gd created all of us because we each have something unique to contribute and to achieve. We aren’t supposed to be the same, and so Hashem creates each person with different abilities, different talents, different handicaps, different challenges, and different circumstances.

It may be true Mr./Mrs. So-And-So has the perfect children, the perfect family background, and the perfect job, but Mr./Mrs. So-And-So also has problems and struggles that we don’t have. If we don’t envy his or her challenges, then we shouldn’t envy his or her blessings, either – because it’s all a package deal. Gd gives each person the life uniquely suited for his or her mission.

If we live life this way, then we will truly feel, like Avraham did, that we have everything. Yes, everything. We have everything we need to be the person that Hashem brought us here to be. The pain, struggles and challenges that we face – like the wonderful blessings and good fortune that we enjoy – are precisely what we need to accomplish all that we are here to accomplish.

It is told that the famous Hassidic master Rav Bunim of Peshischa (Poland, 1765-1827) remarked that if he would be offered the opportunity to be as great as Avraham Avinu, he would decline.

“If I would be Avraham,” he said, “then who would be Bunim?”

Rav Bunim understood that he was brought into the world not to be Avraham Avinu, but to be himself. And this is what we need to understand, too.

The Wisdom to See Ourselves

Today’s world of hyperconnectivity makes it especially challenging to live with this perspective. People spend so much of their time looking at other people’s lives, seeing what they’re buying, what they’re wearing, where they’re going, what they’re doing, what they’re achieving. It might be no exaggeration to say that social media is the greatest tool for arousing jealousy and insecurity ever created. When we look at other people’s joy and successes, it is only natural for us to wonder why we aren’t experiencing that same joy and success, and to feel envious, embittered, and unfulfilled.

Now more than ever, we need the wisdom of Eliezer, the wisdom to see ourselves and our potential, instead of looking at other people. What other people are doing or not doing should not impact our goals and aspirations. We need to live our own lives, not other people’s lives. We need to fulfill our own mission, not other people’s missions.

Because if we try to do other people’s jobs, then we not only fail to do our own job, but will also, invariably, fail to do those other jobs for which we aren’t suited…

One of the most important forms of intelligence is the intelligence to be yourself, to stop trying to imitate others, to stop worrying about what other people have or accomplish, and to focus instead on living the best life that you are meant to live.

Pnina Souid

Kindness Brings Miraculous New Life

The phone rang at the Mitzvah Man hotline. The voice on the other end was that of an elderly woman. Although she spoke softly, her voice had the tone of one with a quiet resilience.

“My name is Mrs. Levine,” the caller said, sounding rather tired. “I’m a 96-year-old Holocaust survivor. My old, worn-out easy chair finally collapsed. It was my only comfortable piece of furniture, which I’ve had for fifty years. It was nothing special, but I spent my days there. I have no family left and no friends nearby. Just that chair kept me comfortable. Is it possible for you to help me find a replacement please? Even a used one would be a tremendous help.”

The Mitzvah Man’s heart was touched by Mrs. Levine’s simple request. “We usually focus on basic necessities,” he responded. “And furniture is often not so easy to acquire., But I truly understand your need for comfort. I’m going to send a text to our network of volunteers right now to see if we can come up with something for you.”

He immediately sent a brief, urgent message detailing Mrs. Levine’s situation and her need for a comfortable chair. Moments later, a response pinged back from Susan, one of the Mitzvah Man Organization’s dedicated volunteers.

“Please, let me take this mitzvah,” Susan wrote. “I need to do this immediately. I need the zechut (merit).”

When the Mitzvah Man messaged her to ask about the urgency of her situation, she explained, “My daughter is in the hospital right now, in labor for over ten long hours. She suffered two tragic miscarriages before this pregnancy. I’m praying so hard for a healthy birth and a healthy child. I want to send this precious survivor an extra special gift as a zechut for my daughter and her baby. I don’t want to buy her a second hand chair. I want to order her a brand-new, specialized automatic recliner chair, one that helps her to stand up and sit down. This will give her the comfort and dignity she deserves. Please give me her details right away so I can place the order.”

The Mitzvah Man quickly texted back: “Her name is Mrs. Levine, and she lives at 1712 Avenue N.”

Susan called him back, her voice shaking with emotion and astonishment.

“Mrs. Levine? 1712 Avenue N?!” Susan exclaimed. “That’s impossible! That’s my childhood home! I sold that house thirty years ago, and I sold it to a Mrs. Levine who I remember was a Holocaust survivor. I can’t believe this connection!”

The knowledge of this remarkable coincidence only deepened Susan’s resolve, convincing her that this divine alignment was a sign. She went online instantly and placed the order for the expensive, specialized chair to be delivered the very next morning.

Susan called the Mitzvah Man back a short while later. Her voice was now filled with overwhelming, tearful joy. “As soon as I pressed ‘send’ on the delivery order, the doctor came out of the delivery room and told me, ‘Congratulations! Your daughter just gave birth to a healthy baby girl!’”

The next morning, Mrs. Levine received her beautiful new lift chair. The comfort and independence it provided brought light and relief back into her life. She told Susan, “I’m happier than I’ve been in years.”

The Mitzvah Man wants to remind everyone: We can never know which specific mitzvah will be the one that breaks a spiritual barrier, creates a divine connection, or tips the scale of a blessing we desperately need. Don’t wait for the perfect opportunity or the biggest charity. Just go out there and do a mitzvah. Surely, Hashem is going to reward your efforts in the most profound and unexpected ways.

Sam Sutton

Under the lights at M&S Park, with the stands packed and anticipation thick in the air, a new chapter of league history was written. The 2025 M&S World Series had all the makings of a classic, powerhouse rosters, superstar performances, heartbreak, and redemption. And when the final out was recorded when Captain Uri Adler dove to his knees and fired across the diamond for the clinching play the celebration began.

Champions: Kaboom.

For Uri Adler, it was the storybook ending to his first season as captain a debut campaign that began with high hopes and ended in pure glory. For Abe Saka, it was the long-awaited validation of years of excellence and grit. For ten of the twelve players on this roster, it was a first-ever taste of M&S immortality. And for the league, it was a reminder of why M&S Softball remains the gold standard – passion, competition, and community under one banner.

The Journey to the Crown

Kaboom’s road to the championship wasn’t easy. The postseason bracket was a gauntlet, and every step tested their chemistry, resilience, and belief.

In the Semifinals, Kaboom squared off against Vandelay Industries, a veteran team loaded with bats and experience. But Kaboom had something special – a unified energy that couldn’t be shaken. On the mound, Abe Saka was masterful. Pitching with the poise of a seasoned ace and the fire of a man on a mission, he controlled the tempo, silenced the bats, and carried his squad into the World Series. His performance was so commanding it earned him Player of the Week honors and set the tone for what was to come.

That semifinal series featured one of the most memorable defensive plays in M&S postseason history. In Game One, Sol Fallas, playing short center field, ranged deep up the middle and laid out for a full-extension catch that saved the game and, perhaps, the season. It was the kind of play that would replay in fans’ minds for years. From that moment, the message was clear: Kaboom was on a mission.

A Showdown for the Ages

Waiting in the Finals was the juggernaut King Salomon: Part Deux, led by legendary captain Michael “Sabon” Salomon, a team chasing dynasty status and hungry for another ring. The matchup was everything fans hoped for: two powerhouse teams, two brilliant captains, and lineups filled with stars.

Over the course of three unforgettable games, both teams traded blows. King Salomon struck early and often, with JoJo “Box Office” Levy continuing his meteoric rise as one of the league’s elite hitters. Levy, who crushed another ball over the fence in Game Two, put himself in a new category of player this postseason as a young star whose ceiling keeps climbing, and whose name now belongs among the league’s best.

But Kaboom, true to their name, always answered. Each rally from King Salomon was met with equal fire. Big hits, timely defense, and the unshakeable calm of Captain Uri Adler kept the team focused. By Game Three, the tension was unbearable – until Kaboom broke it open with a relentless offensive surge. The score may have widened late, but make no mistake: this was a battle of inches, decided by heart.

When it ended with Adler’s diving play and the eruption of cheers under the lights the team mobbed the field. Gloves hit the dirt, and years of frustration turned into joy.

Kaboom had done it. They were champions.

The MVP: Abe Saka

At the center of it all was Abe Saka, the bulldog on the mound who refused to bend. His command, endurance, and unrelenting focus made him the heartbeat of Kaboom’s title run. Every inning he threw carried weight; every pitch was a declaration.

Saka’s performance across the playoffs – and especially in the World Series – cemented his place in M&S lore. For years he had flirted with greatness. This time, he conquered it. Fittingly, he was named World Series MVP, a title that felt like destiny fulfilled.

The Captain: Uri Adler

Adler’s leadership was the glue that bound Kaboom together. Known across the league for his professionalism and calm demeanor, he captained his team the same way he played: composed, steady, and relentlessly respectful. He never let his team get too high or too low. He managed personalities, lineups, and moments with quiet confidence – the mark of a true leader.

In his first season wearing the “C,” Adler delivered the ultimate prize. Few captains in league history have ever steered a team to the mountaintop so quickly. His championship pedigree is now sealed in M&S history.

Respect to the Runners-Up

No championship is complete without acknowledging the greatness of the opponent and King Salomon: Part Deux was every bit the worthy adversary. Led by Michael “Sabon” Salomon, the team was a powerhouse from Opening Day. With players like Mo Shamah, TI, and JoJo Levy, to name a few, King Salomon pushed Kaboom to the brink.

Levy’s growth this season was particularly noteworthy – another ball over the fence, another step into stardom. Though they fell short, King Salomon’s mix of veterans and young stars this team was oh-so-close to winning it all.

Legacy of a Champion

What made Kaboom’s title run special wasn’t just their talent, it was their chemistry. They laughed, battled, and believed together. They responded to every setback with focus, every challenge with faith.

For ten first-time champions, the M&S Cup now symbolizes more than just a trophy. It represents late-night Glatt Bite runs, shared trust, and a team that refused to let go of the rope. And for veterans like Finkel and Chrem, it’s another golden moment to add to their legacy.

As the lights dimmed at M&S Park and the crowd lingered to soak in the celebration, one thing was clear: this was more than a championship. It was a statement.

Kaboom arrived. They battled. They believed. And they conquered.

From first pitch to final out, the 2025 M&S World Series will be remembered as one of the greatest in league history and Kaboom’s name will forever be etched on the M&S Cup.

Congratulations to Captain Uri Adler, World Series MVP Abe Saka, and the entire Kaboom roster your names are now written in M&S history!

The Champions: Player by Player

Abe Saka (P, World Series MVP) – The bulldog on the mound. Unwavering, unrelenting, and unstoppable. Saka willed Kaboom to victory with his mix of grit, poise, and power. The title that had eluded him for years is finally his and he earned every ounce of it.

A.Y. Slanger (C) – The starting pitcher’s dream. Slanger’s defensive instincts and lightning-fast releases kept runners honest all season. Behind the plate, he set the tone, controlled the rhythm, and gave Saka the trust every ace needs.

Barry Finkel (1B) – One of only two returning champions on the roster, Finkel once again proved he’s a winning player. His glove was reliable, his bat clutch, and his leadership invaluable. Another ring for a true veteran presence.

Neil “Real Feel” Shweky (2B) – The name says it all. Shweky’s smooth hands and field awareness made him a defensive standout at second base. Add in his timely hitting and you get one of the league’s most underrated stars.

Mordy Chrem (SS) – The defensive wizard. Chrem captured championships in back-to-back seasons, this time anchoring Kaboom’s infield with elite range and veteran composure. His bat packs pop, but his glove is poetry.

Uri Adler (3B, Captain) – The captain who brought it all together. Adler’s steady hand and even-keeled demeanor defined Kaboom’s culture. His leadership off the field was as vital as his steady play at third base.

Sol Fallas (SCF) – The bopper in the lineup with a highlight-reel glove. His legendary catch in the semifinals will go down as one of the greatest defensive plays in M&S postseason history. A true two-way force.

Morris “Mo” Levy (LF) – One of the breakout stars of 2025. Levy’s bat came alive this season, complementing his already-stellar defense in left field. A rising star who proved he can shine brightest on the biggest stage.

Nadav “Nutty” Auerbach (CF) Electric. Auerbach is one of the best center fielders and hitters in the league. His range, instincts, and consistency at the plate make him a cornerstone player and Kaboom’s all-around superstar.

Shimmy Cohen (RF) – The veteran finally gets his crown. After years of near misses, Cohen captured his first championship alongside longtime teammate Saka in a career-defining moment. His bat, his glove, and his leadership all came through when it mattered most.

Isaac “Icy Hot” Cohen (IF) – Reliable and clutch. Isaac delivered steady production and a veteran presence. Every contender needs a player who’s always ready that was Icy Hot.

David Minzer (IF) – The power bat Kaboom needed. Minzer stepped up in key spots throughout the postseason, delivering muscle in the lineup and big-moment energy when it mattered most.

Utensils Needed:

Shallow bowl

Skewers

Whisk

Skillet

Fork or tongs

Pizza cutter

Measuring cups and spoons

Spatula

Ingredients:

2 eggs

½ cup nondairy milk

1 tablespoon honey

¼ teaspoon cinnamon

Pinch of salt

5 slices of challah or bread (cut into ¾-inch to 1-inch-thick slices)

1 cup strawberries, halved

1 tablespoon unsalted margarine

2 tablespoons strawberry jam

Syrup

Let’s Get Started!

1. In a shallow bowl, use the whisk to combine the eggs, nondairy milk, cinnamon, honey, and salt.
2. Melt the margarine in a skillet over medium heat.
3. Dip each slice of bread into the egg mixture until both sides are coated.
4. Place the bread into the hot skillet. Cook for 3 minutes on each side, until golden and cooked through.
5. Use the fork or tongs to take the French toast out of the skillet. Put it on a plate. Use the pizza cutter to cut it into bite-size pieces.
6. Make small “sandwiches” with the French toast pieces and the jam, and thread them onto skewers, alternating with strawberry halves.
7. Serve with syrup.

Serves 4!
Strawberries are NOT only red. There are yellow, blue, white, black, and purple strawberries too!

BREAKFAST ON A STICK!

Chef Shiri Says…

Ounce for ounce, strawberries are slightly higher in vitamin C – and have fewer calories – than oranges!

What’s In A Name?

In France, French toast is called pain perdu, which means “lost bread.” Why lost bread? Originally, people made French toast from stale bread in order to use bread that would otherwise have been lost – thrown away.