Sharon, a woman in her mid-40s reached out to the Mitzvah Man organization not knowing if they would be able to help her.
“I am a saleslady and am experiencing severe hearing loss. I cannot properly serve my customers because of my hearing issues. I am afraid of losing my job. The hearing loss is disrupting my life. However, I don’t want to take money from the organization. Perhaps you can find me used, refurbished hearing aids? I would be able to put some money towards that.”
The Mitzvah Man told Sharon that they usually don’t provide this item, but he would send out a text to his volunteers with her request. Refurbished hearing aids. One volunteer responded. “This must be a sign from Hashem!”
Hayim, the volunteer, explained that he has a business selling on the internet. He looks at various new items to sell but always tests them first. Recently Hayim tested hearing aids and was extremely impressed with their high quality. Hayim recently ordered the hearing aids to sell. He would be more than happy to fulfill Sharon’s request with a brand-new pair of hearing aids, free of charge.
Sharon was overjoyed when she heard the news. Now, she is able to hear well, and this has truly given her a new lease on life. While before she was merely surviving, now she feels she is thriving!
The Mitzvah Man posted this story on his personal webpage and soon after received a private message.
“My daughter Frieda is 16 years old. She is deaf in both ears. After a certain age our insurance does not cover the cost of the hearing aids she so desperately needs. She wants to live a normal life, have friends, date, marry, and have a family! Instead, she is living in a world of silence. Is there something that you can do for her?”
The Mitzvah Man reached out to Hayim who was only too happy to fulfill this additional request for a brand-new pair of hearing aids.
Mitzvah Man stated, “We often take our senses for granted. The sense of hearing, just like the sense of sight, helps us to be a part of the world around us, to be with family and friends and enjoy life cycle celebrations. Baruch Hashem, we were able to help this teenager who is so happy with a bright present and b’ezrat Hashem will have an even brighter future. Tizke l’missvot to the donor of the hearing aids. He has made a tremendous difference in other people’s lives.”
To us hearing aids may seem like such a small item. But to Sharon and Frieda, they means the world.
Part of back-to-school shopping is finding the best backpack for your child. Here are this year’s top-rated backpack options.
L.L. Bean Deluxe Book Pack
This backpack from L.L. Bean combines most of the features both parents and kids look for: It has a durable, weatherproof construction thanks to its ripstop nylon fabric and storm flap, a padded back panel with lumbar support, and multiple pockets for organization. Its ergonomic design equips padded, adjustable, and curved straps, along with a waist belt that tucks away when it’s not in use. Available in nine colors.
North Face Youth Recon Squash Backpack
The North Face Youth Recon Squash Backpack is designed for kids ages six to ten. This durable backpack is made of polyester with a durable water-repellent finish. It features a comfortable stitched-foam back panel for daily use, mesh water bottle pockets, and an internal name label.
Fjallraven Kanken Classic Backpack
A stylish backpack option to start your child’s school year is the classic Kanken by Fjallraven. They can stash away their school supplies in the main zippered compartment and store smaller items in the front zippered pockets and two open side compartments. It’s made from the brand’s proprietary Vinylon F material, which the brand claims is dirt and water resistant, and easily wipes clean
JanSport SuperBreak
The JanSport SuperBreak’s classic silhouette is free of the bells and whistles commonly found on many other kids backpacks. Available in more than 30 colors, this backpack has one main compartment, a front utility pocket and a side water bottle pocket.
JWorld New York Sunrise Rolling Backpack
If your child sometimes wears their backpack and other times rolls it along, this one from J World is a great choice. This convertible wheeled backpack offers the load carrying ability of a rolling bag with wheels and the portability of a school backpack. It has a durable rubber bottom that’ll withstand dragging on hard floors and pavement. For extra durability, it’s made from ripstop polyester fabric with a metal frame and reinforced edges.
Mountaintop Kids Backpack
Mountaintop’s kids backpack is made of a water-resistant polyester material that can withstand unexpected rain showers. Ideal for kids ages three to six, it has a main compartment to hold books, folders, and other school essentials and has an elastic mesh pocket in the front for additional storage.
North Face Jester Backpack
If your child carries a laptop or tablet to school, the Jester backpack from The North Face features a padded laptop sleeve that can protect their tech from falls, bumps, and contact with other gear inside the main compartment. The brand also boasts a padded back panel and breathable lumbar panel certified by the American Chiropractic Association. Available in 16 colors.
Terra Thread Zem Mini Backpack
Sustainability can still be part of your child’s school supplies. This option from Terra Thread is certified by the Global Organic Textile Standard and is made from heavy-duty 14-ounce organic cotton canvas. It’s available in 14 colors and patterns and you can machine wash it in cold water for added peace of mind
Although it is a bit early, my husband and I are already having our annual dilemma about the High Holidays. The problem is that my three children (ages 11,13, and 16) and I prefer to go to my parents’ home in Brooklyn for the holidays, while he would much rather stay home in Deal.
The last two years, I was able to convince my husband to spend the holidays in Brooklyn. But he is dead set against it this year. He said that it is only fair to take turns. However, my children feel that it is so much more fun and exciting to spend the holidays with their cousins in Brooklyn.
I know my husband reads your column regularly. So, I’m hoping that you can offer some sage advice and he will change his mind.
Signed,
Holiday Hopper
Dear Holiday Hopper,
It is certainly nice to know that your husband enjoys my column. Let’s see if he feels the same way after reading about himself.
Classic answer – one year you go to Brooklyn, one year you stay in Deal. Compromise. After all, isn’t that what marriage is all about?
I don’t particularly think so. Now you might be thinking, okay, so what’s so bad? One year he will be unhappy and one year the kids will have to learn to deal with it and they’ll be unhappy. You know, that’s not what really happens. If your husband is unhappy, you will also be unhappy. If your kids are miserable, then both of you will be, too. In short, everybody loses. Every year.
So how do you find a solution? Well, we already know why you and the children want to go, but why doesn’t your husband? He likes sleeping in his own bed? He wants to pray with his rabbi and friends? He doesn’t like your mother’s cooking? They raised the tolls on the Verrazano, and he refuses to pay?
When you fully understand his position, then you can more easily arrive at a solution that works for both of you. The idea is to come up with a third plan where you both win. Perhaps the 16-year-old goes to Brooklyn and some younger Brooklyn cousins come to your house. Perhaps you invite your parents and some cousins to Deal. Maybe you convince his learning partner to go to Brooklyn to his parents so your husband will have someone to pray with (if that’s why he wants to stay).
But let’s say that nothing works. Then here’s the sage advice:
Shalom bayit is number one. Bottom line, it is up to the husband to be the leader and keep shalom in the family. If Hashem could have His Name erased to keep peace and if He could change Sarah Imenu’s words to prevent discord, then the man of the house has to be flexible and giving enough to make sure that at this most holy time of the year, that his house is blessed with peace. Mr. Hopper, it’s up to you.
Having money is a wonderful blessing. It allows one to learn more Torah, perform a lot of hesed, and support many worthy causes and organizations. However, this should never be one’s goal in life. The Mishnah (Avot 1:15) exhorts, “Our primary goal should be Torah and mitzvot, and our work should be secondary.” We need to invest a normal amount of effort to earn a livelihood, but at the same time we must remember that if Hashem wishes for us to support charitable organizations, He’ll find a way to give us the money to do so. The pasuk in Tehillim (23:6) states “Goodness and kindness shall pursue me.” If somebody is meant to be wealthy, then the blessing will come.
The Chovot HaLevavot (Shaar HaBitachon) writes that the obligation of hishtadlut (effort) applies only to the work necessary to obtain the basic necessities of life. Beyond that, one’s wealth will come or not come regardless of our efforts. Our attitude toward parnassah must be one of “We work so that we can eat, so we have the basics that we need in life (Tehillim 128:2). If this is our approach, then, as the verse continues, “we will earn blessing both in this world and the Next.”
Parnassah is not something we should be thinking or worrying about constantly. The Torah says we need to work for our livelihood, not that we need to worry about our livelihood. Hashem brought us into the world, and it is His job to provide for us. Our job, meanwhile, is to serve Him, and parnassah must never get in the way of this job.
Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk received a phone call from a woman who wanted to have another child (her fifth) but her husband was opposed. He said that he earned just enough money to support four children, and they were thus not in a position to have any more. The husband agreed to listen to the Rabbi, and so they consulted with Rabbi Falk, who quoted the Gemara’s comment (Niddah 31a), “When a child comes into the world, he comes with a piece of bread in his hand.” This means that when Hashem blesses a couple with a child, He provides them with the means of supporting the child. A year and a half later, the woman called back and enthusiastically reported that they had a boy. She further reported the day after the baby was born, they received a phone call from relatives who were elated over the birth, and who were blessed with wealth and wanted to share it with this family. These relatives wired money to their account. Several days after the brit she went to the bank and found that $10,000 had been deposited. They saw yad Hashem (Hashem’s hand) so clearly, the fulfillment of the Gemara’s statement that when the child is born, Hashem provides the means of supporting him.
We will not always see Hashem’s assistance so clearly, but one way or another, He will ensure to increase a family’s parnassah as it grows. Each child that is born brings more blessing. Our job is to do the will of Hashem, and His job is to provide us with our needs.
There are men who are still single because they have not yet secured an adequate source of livelihood to support a family. The Gemara says (Bava Metzia 59a), “Blessing is found in the home only on the account of the wife.” The source of this statement is the story of Avraham Avinu, who received great wealth in Egypt on account of his wife. If a man of marriageable age does not earn enough to support a family, this might very well be specifically because he does not yet have a family to support. Once he marries and has a family to provide for, Hashem will step in to ensure he is able to do so.
We have to do our job, and then Hashem will do His.
In Olam Haba, the time period following the Messianic Era, the entire universe will be transformed into an entirely different framework. All the righteous people throughout the generations will receive their rightful reward and enjoy indescribable spiritual pleasures. The prophets describe that just before the onset of this period, all the world’s inhabitants since the time of creation will be brought back to life and stand in judgment, and Gd will determine who is worthy of Olam Haba.
In this segment, we will address the subject of tehiyat hametim and related topics, and offer suggestions for how we can ensure to be worthy of resurrection when this period arrives.
Resurrection: Two Stages
Our sages relate how the process of tehiyat hametim will not just occur all at once, but rather it will take place in two separate stages. The first stage of resurrection will coincide with the start of the Messianic Era, when all the sadikim (righteous people) throughout the generations will return to life, including our forefathers, Avraham, Yizhak, and Yaakov, and our nation’s first leaders, Moshe Rabbenu and Aharon Hakohen. They and many other sadikim will earn the privilege of basking in the glory and splendor of the Jewish Nation during that time. The second stage of tehiyat hametim, which will affect the general world populace, will unfold much later, at the close of the Messianic Era, in preparation for the start of the new world – Olam Haba.
This promise of tehiyat hametim thus ensures that all those who were personally worthy of the redemption will be brought back to life to experience the restoration of our nation’s ideal state of completion when Mashiah arrives. Even those who died before the Messianic Era will not be denied the glory and splendor of our nation, at this period in time.
How Will Life Be Restored to the Dead?
Our sages tell us that our bodies and all physical features will be restored precisely to their original form at tehiyat hametim – except for the illnesses and bodily defects which we endured during our lifetime, which Hashem will heal at the time of resurrection. However, one who purposely did not perform one of the Torah’s 248positive commandments (which correspond to the 248 limbs in the human body) will be missing the limb corresponding to that particular missva. The Talmud describes that the dead will emerge from the ground completely clothed, just as a wheat kernel grows from the ground clothed in several layers of covering. According to some views, the resurrected dead will be clothed in the shrouds in which they were buried, while others maintain that they will wear the clothing they wore during their lifetimes.
The Eternal Bone
The Midrash teaches that even though the human body decays after death, there is one bone in the body which remains intact eternally, even after death, and it is from this bone that Hashem will rebuild the dead bodies at the time of tehiyat hametim.
How does this bone endure? Why is it different from every other part of the human body, which decays after death?
The commentaries explain that this particular bone is nourished solely from the food consumed during the melaveh malka meal which is eaten on Saturday night. Thus, when Adam sinned by eating from the forbidden tree on Friday, the day he was created, this bone did not benefit from the sin and was therefore spared the punishment of death decreed upon all mankind. This is what allows this bone to survive forever, even as the rest of the body decays.
Knowing that this bone is nourished by our melaveh malka meal, and will be the source of renewed life at the time of tehiyat hametim, we should all ensure to observe this halachah and partake of the melaveh malka meal each week, even when this may be difficult.
Where in the body is this bone situated? Some identify this bone as one of the upper back bones, while others say it is the lowest backbone. There is yet a third view that it is located in the back of the head, at the spot where we place the knot of the tefillin.
How to Ensure We Merit Resurrection
The Talmud teaches that only the special spiritual light of the Torah is capable of reviving a person’s body at the time of tehiyat hametim, and therefore only those who had a connection to the holy Torah will be part of the resurrection. This connection is achieved either through actually learning or by helping others to learn, whether through financial support or through other forms of assistance. Women, who are not obligated to study Torah, earn resurrection by encouraging their husbands and children to study. However, those who did not affiliate themselves with the Torah have no way of returning to life at tehiyat hametim to experience Olam Haba. The exception to this rule is people who surrendered their lives to sanctify the Name of Hashem, who will earn tehiyat hametim even if they did not connect themselves with Torah.
One who denies the reality of tehiyat hametim forfeits the privilege of experiencing it.
The Resurrection of Those Buried Outside Israel
There is a debate among the sages of the Talmud as to whether tehiyat hametim will take place only in Israel, or even outside the land of Israel. According to one view, the event of tehiyat hametim will be limited to Israel, and therefore people buried elsewhere will be resurrected only after their remains roll underground to the land of Israel. Others, however, maintain that tehiyat hametim will take place even outside Israel. According to all views, the righteous sadikim buried outside Israel will be spared the grueling process of rolling. Instead, they will stand and then walk through miraculously designed underground tunnels to the land of Israel for tehiyat hametim.
This is one of the reasons why many people prefer being buried in the land of Israel – so that they will not need to roll to Israel at the time of tehiyat hametim. In fact, halachah allows exhuming a person’s remains for reburial in Israel.
Your Soul’s Identity
The Kabbalists have taught us the concept of gilgulim (transmigration of souls), the notion that a soul can be reincarnated with a new identity after death for the purpose of rectifying the misdeeds committed in its previous life. It is thus possible for one soul to be “reborn” numerous times.
The concept of gilgulim gives rise to the question of how resurrection will occur for souls that different people possessed at different periods. Will they all somehow be resurrected, or will only the last body to possess the soul be brought back to life?
The widely accepted view is that it is indeed possible for a soul, which is entirely spiritual in nature, to “divide” itself among several physical beings. Therefore, all people who had assumed a given soul and are deemed worthy of eternal life will be resurrected at tehiyat hametim. The Vilna Gaon, z.s.l., however, writes that only the last person to possess his soul will return to life, and for this reason it behooves us all to complete our mission and purpose in the world so we will not need to return in a different form and our present identity will be forgotten.
Will husbands and wives still be considered married at the time of tehiyat hametim, or will they have to remarry after resurrection? Interestingly enough, a number of scholars addressed the similar question of whether a woman who was brought back to life by a prophet was still married to her husband after the resurrection. This issue is subject to a debate among the sages, but the Ben Ish Hai (Rabbi Yosef Haim of Baghdad, 1833-1909) asserted that according to all views, husbands and wives will have to marry each other again at the time of tehiyat hametim. Unlike in the case of the woman resurrected by a prophet, who was revived with her previous body intact, at tehiyat hametim we will receive entirely new bodies, and we will thus be considered as having been created anew.
If a woman was widowed or divorced and subsequently remarried, whom will she marry at the time of tehiyat hametim?
According to all views, divorced women will return to their second husbands at the time of the resurrection. With regard to remarried widows, however, the scholars debate the question of whether she will return to her first or second husband.
Will we still have an obligation to honor our parents after tehiyat hametim, or will we be considered “reborn,” such that we will no longer retain our familial relationships? The Ben Ish Hai writes that the obligation to honor parents will remain in effect after the resurrection. Parents bring not only their children’s bodies into the world, but also their souls. Therefore, since our souls will remain the same even after tehiyat hametim, we will be required to respect our parents.
The Great and Awesome Day of Judgment
The event of tehiyat hametim will be immediately followed by the final Day of Judgment. (According to one Midrash, this will occur three days after resurrection.) All people will be judged according to the actions they performed during their lifetime, and it will be determined who will proceed to Olam Haba to enjoy the spiritual pleasures of that existence. The Midrash says that even the greatest sadikim and highest angels will tremble in fear from the great intensity of Hashem’s final judgment. Those who earn a favorable outcome will remain alive for Olam
Haba, while those who are found undeserving of eternal reward will be sent to the spiritual fires of Gehinom to be burned and destroyed forever.
Tehiyat hametim is included among the thirteen fundamental beliefs of Judaism. We all must know and believe that this wondrous day will arrive, when those who have passed on will be revived and given a new life. Let us seize the opportunity we have now, during our lifetime, to make ourselves worthy of a favorable judgment and be deserving of eternal life in the World to Come.
Rachel decided to improve her computer skills to keep up with her kids who were in the hi-tech industry in Israel. She threw herself into the task with enthusiasm, borrowing two or three instructional books from the Tel Aviv library each week.
After about a month, the librarian commented: “Wow! You must be getting really knowledgeable about this stuff.”
“Thanks. What makes you say that?” asked Rachel.
“Well,” said the librarian, “only one of the books you’re taking out this week has “For Dummies” in the title.”
Carol Z.
Chaim Yankel Goes Golfing
Chaim Yankel wanted to make business connections in the non-Jewish community, and he was told that he needed to improve his golf game. So, he joined a golf club and started practicing. But feeling self-conscious, he would only golf alone, with no one present except for his caddy.
One day he had a new caddy and Chaim Yankel was playing particularly badly.
“I think I am playing the world’s worst golf game,” he confessed to the caddy.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that, sir,” was the consoling response. “From what the boys were saying about another gentleman who plays here, he must be worse even than you are.”
“What’s his name?”
The caddy replied, “I think they call him Chaim Yankel.”
Morris T.
Here Kitty, Kitty
Little Rivky Goldstein had been a naughty girl in school. By way of punishment, she was directed by Mrs. Applebaum to remain in her seat after school and remain there until she had written an original composition containing not less than fifty words.
Rivky completed her task in a surprisingly short space of time and left the room. Mrs. Applebaum picked up the Rivky’s assignment and read it:
“I lost my kitty, and I went out and called, ‘Come, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.’”
Jeannie L.
Vacationing in Venice
David and Shirah Epstein decided to go on a father and daughter trip to Italy. When they returned, Shirah was giving her mother a rundown of their favorite city, Venice.
“Ah, Venice,” said the mother. “It must have been fantastic. What was your father’s favorite part? The gondolas? The glass makers? The Jewish ghetto?”
“Come on Mom, you should know Dad better than that,” the young lady interrupted. “Dad liked it because he could sit in the hotel and fish from the window.”
Mark C.
On One Leg
On the 5th floor at Maimonides Hospital all the patients were not only in bed, but they also had one of their legs suspended in a sling above them. One day, Moishe the consultant, together with some of his staff, was making his rounds on the 5th floor. Moishe stopped at the first bed and pulled and twisted the patient’s suspended leg. The patient screamed in agony. This was repeated along the row of beds, while each patient screamed and yelled during the examination.
Moishe finally reached the last bed. This was occupied by Emanuel. But when Emanuel’s suspended leg was pulled and twisted as was done to all the others, Emanuel remained silent and smiling throughout the procedure.
When Moishe and his entourage left the ward, all the patients congratulated Emanuel on his bravery and fortitude.
But Emanuel responded by telling them, “Brave/shmave – I saw what the consultant was doing to you, so I switched my legs and put my good leg in the sling.”
David M
Who’s the Boss?
An insurance agent climbed the steps and rang the doorbell. The housekeeper opened the door.
“Who are you looking for?” asked the housekeeper.
“I want to see the boss of the house,” replied the insurance agent. “Are you the boss?”
The husband of the house then came to the door. The insurance agent repeated his question.
“I’d like to speak to the boss of the household. I assume that you are the boss?”
“Yea right,” replied the man. “I’m only the husband. Step in, I’ll call the boss.”
The insurance agent took a seat in the hall, and in a short time a woman appeared.
“So, you want to see the boss” asked the woman. “Well, just step into the kitchen. This way, please. Rachel, a man is here to see you.”
A 13-year-old girl approached.
“Tell me,” pleaded the insurance agent, “are you the boss of the house?”
“You want to see the boss?” asked the girl. “Well, just come with me.”
Wearily the insurance agent climbed up the stairs. They walked into a room on the second floor and there was the crib of a sleeping baby.
“There!” exclaimed the girl, “That’s the real boss of this house!”
Karen D.
The Right to an Attorney
Shmulie, Chelm’s local thief, was caught red-handed by a police officer in the very act of burglarizing a store. He was quickly brought to trial.
“How do you plead?” asked the judge.
“Your honor,” answered Shmulie, “before I plead guilty or not guilty, I ask that the court kindly appoint a lawyer to defend me.”
“You were caught in the actual commission of a crime. What could any lawyer possibly say in your defense?” said the judge.
“That’s exactly my point, your honor,” said Shmulie. “I’m curious also to hear what he could possibly say!”
Ikey F.
What’s the Band Playing?
Itzik’s Bistro in downtown Tel Aviv is usually full even on Open Mic Wednesdays. One particular Wednesday night, crowded as usual, a band was playing and Shuki and his friend Dudu were sitting near the stage, none too happy. At one point, Shuki pipes up and asks the band leader, “Can you play something by request?”
The bandleader beamed and said, “Of course. Whatever you want.”
“Then,” snapped Shuki, “sit down and play a game of shesh besh (backgammon) so I can finish my meal.”
Harry G.
Forgiveness
Rabbi Epstein was giving his Yom Kippur sermon about forgiveness and during his speech he asked his congregation, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?”
About half held up their hands. He then rephrased his question, “How many of you want to forgive your enemies?” Slowly, every hand in the congregation went up, except for one. Little old Sadie Horowitz.
“Mrs. Horowitz?” inquired the Rabbi, “Are you not willing to forgive your enemies, especially on this Day of Atonement when Gd forgives us all?”
“I don’t have any enemies,” Mrs. Horowitz replied, smiling sweetly.
“Mrs. Horowitz, that is more impressive. How old are you?”
“Ninety-eight,” she replied.
“Oh Mrs. Horowitz, what a blessing and a lesson to us all you are. Would you please stand up and in front of this congregation tell us all how a person can live so long and not have an enemy in the world?”
Little old Mrs. Horowitz got up slowly, smiled, faced the congregation, and said, “I outlived all those old yentas.”
Let’s take a breath and give ourselves a pat on the back for the resilience, strength, courage, and especially the emunah we demonstrated for the past ten months. When our world was turned upside down by COVID-19, regardless of age or role, we stretched ourselves to navigate the New Normal and beat this plague. We fortified ourselves and faced the challenges, turning adversity into opportunity.
With intercession (“the winter break”) arriving soon, I have some good news and bad news to share.
First, the bad news. There has been a surge in COVID-19 cases, particularly after millions of people traveled through airports for the Thanksgiving holidays. Also, as the weather gets colder and winter approaches, people will be interacting more frequently indoors, most probably in poorly ventilated places, which escalates the risk of transmission of the Coronavirus. Finally, the general public will most
likely not begin to get vaccinated until April 2021.
Now for the good news. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Four pharmaceutical/biotech companies are on the brink of releasing
the COVID-19 vaccine in the United States. By the time you read this
article, Pfizer and Moderna will have provided enough of the vaccine
to immunize 20 million people, health care workers, and nursing
home residents in the U.S. In the history of medicine, the quickest
vaccine to have ever been developed took four years. This one was
ready in eight months.
The other piece of good news is that there are lots of winter
pandemic-friendly intercession activities, and staycations have always
been a popular option for winter break.
Before we move on to intercession activities, let’s recap some key
events and lessons learned.
In mid-March, schools closed on short notice and educators moved
quickly to launch remote learning. Parents managed their own work
from home and supervised their children’s virtual learning. The warm
weather brought with it some relief, certain summer camps opened,
and parents organized safe and socially distant happenings such as
road trips or outdoor activities for the family. School administrators
spent hours during the summer developing safe reopening plans and
students returned to either full in-person learning or blended learning
in the fall.
The yeshiva winter school break is traditionally a time to hop on
a plane or cruise ship, if one’s finances and schedule permits, and
escape to a warm climate. Given the uptick in COVID-19 cases and
a shortened or even cancelled winter break, flying or cruising are no
longer viable or safe choices. Some yeshivot have even scheduled
scattered days off within the next months to discourage families from
booking air travel plans and having increased exposure to COVID-19.
Let’s give our children credit for the immense emunah, flexibility,
creativity, patience, and agility displayed since March. Many are
experiencing pandemic fatigue, but we need patience to hang in there
and keep our families and others safe. If we do that, next winter we
can travel across the country or even to Israel.
The Pandemic Pivot
A word often associated with managing our New Normal is PIVOT.
Pivot means to turn or balance on a central point. While this word was
used frequently in surviving and pivoting from a business crisis, job
loss, or death of a loved one, it can also depict a commitment to shift
to a new direction. Some call it the pandemic pivot.
How can we pivot to arrive at safe, fun and socially distant winter
break ideas?
Road trips are a popular and safer pivot from getaways requiring air
travel. Staying in your own state may be your safest bet to avoid quarantine
rules when returning from certain states. Finding a destination that is not
going to be crowded, such as a national park, may be a safe, peaceful, and
enjoyable option. Most children adore recreational vehicles and hotels.
Please review cleaning, social distancing, and cancellation policies before
you book a hotel, Airbnb, or any attraction.
Saul: Do you know why politicians try so hard to get re-elected?
David: Because they want to implement their great ideas?
Saul: No. Because they would hate to have to make a living under the laws they passed.
Jack V. Grazi
Mental Indicators
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function. During a small reception, the doctor was approached by a young undergraduate student and asked a question with which he was most at ease.
“Would you mind telling me, Doctor,” she asked, “how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?”
“It’s really quite easy,” the psychiatrist replied. “You ask a simple question that anyone should be able to answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that gives you a clue that something is wrong.”
“What sort of question?” asked the young lady.
“Well,” the psychiatrist answered, “you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?’”
The young undergrad thought for a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, “You wouldn’t happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.”
Eddie G.
Dog Lingo
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, “There are only nine words here. You can send another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” The dog gave the clerk a funny look and replied, “But then the whole message wouldn’t make any sense!”
Raymond J.
Domestic Vehicles
A new government study has found that the average American car now weighs 300 pounds more than it did ten years ago. However, this is only true if the average American is sitting in the car.
Ezra C.
A Disturbing Lecture
Recently, I attended a lecture being given by one of my favorite writers. I managed to get a good seat among the hundreds of other in attendance, however, due to the chatter of two women sitting
in front of me I could barely hear the speaker. Unable to bear it any longer, I tapped one of the women on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, I can’t hear a thing,” I said as politely as I could.
“I should hope not!” she answered, “This happens to be a private conversation.”
Jack V. Grazi
The Farmer’s Fruit
The matchmaker told Rochelle that there were two men who wanted to go on a date with her, Barry, who was a farmer, and Sam, who was a surgeon. Rochelle decided to go out with the farmer first. The date went smoothly and the next day, Barry sent a box to Rochelle. Eagerly opening it up, she found a dozen roses and a Red Delicious apple. The next day, another box arrived from Barry. Rochelle opened it to find a box of chocolates and a Golden Delicious apple. The day after that a third box arrived. Inside, Rochelle found a bottle of perfume and a Granny Smith apple. By now, Rochelle was very curious about the boxes she received, so she called Barry.
“Thank you for the flowers, the chocolate, and the perfume,” she said, “but could you explain why you sent an apple with each gift?”
Barry chuckled for a moment and answered, “I knew that there was a surgeon who also wanted to go out with you. I figured that an apple a day would keep the doctor away.”
Benyamin N.
Know News Is Good News
Russian President Putin called in the Director of Russian Intelligence and asked, “How come the Jews seem to know everything before we do?”
“Two words, Mr. President,” the intelligence chief replied, “vus titzuch?”
“Vus whosuch? What does that mean?” Putin asked.
“It’s a Yiddish expression that roughly translates into, ‘What’s happening?’” the chief explained. “Everyone just asks each other this question, and they end up finding out everything.”
The President decided to personally go undercover to determine if this was true. He dressed up as an Orthodox Jew and secretly flew in an unmarked plane to New York. He was picked up in an unmarked car and dropped off in Brooklyn’s most Jewish neighborhood.
Soon, a little old man came shuffling along. The President stopped him and whispered, “Vus titzuch?”
The old guy whispered back: “The Russian President is in town.”
J. R.
Literal Devices
Q: Why did the kids eat their homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Amiel T
A Dreamy Birthday
Cindy woke with a start. She quickly awakened her mother to share with her the wonderful dream she just had.
“Mommy!” she cried excitedly. “I dreamt that you took me out for my birthday next week to a fancy restaurant and presented me with a most beautiful set of earrings!”
“That’s nice, Cindy,” her mom replied. “Now why don’t you go back to sleep so you can enjoy it.”
Marlene K.
Animal Rights
A new neighbor recently moved into a semi-rural area in Kingman, Kansas. Six months later, she called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on the main road for “ethical reasons.” When the clerk refused to consider her request, she decided to take the matter up with the city council. At the next city council meeting, she managed to have the matter called for debate before the entire council. After stating her name and her address, she began, “I request that the Deer Crossing sign on Turner Road be taken down immediately.”
“For what reason should we consider this request?” the council speaker asked.
“It’s very simple,” she explained plainly. “Ethical reasons. Too many deer are being hit by cars at that spot – I don’t think it’s a good place for deer to be crossing anymore.”
Lisa G.
Kosher Appeal
A Jewish man was in a major supermarket when he saw a young African American woman trying to get her young child to put down a candy bar he had picked off the shelf. “Tyrone!” she yelled. “Put that down, it isn’t kosher!”
Intrigued by the boy’s gentile sounding name, the man decided to investigate. “Excuse me ma’am, are you Jewish?”
“No,” she responded with a curious look.
“Is the boy Jewish?” he inquired.
“No, he isn’t, either,” she answered.
“So then why did you tell your son that the candy wasn’t kosher?”
“Why? I’ll tell you why,” the woman offered. “Cause I see all the Jewish mothers saying that to their kids – and it works! So, I figured I’d give it a try!”
King David teaches in the Book of Tehillim (89:3), “Olam hesed yibaneh – The world is built on kindness.” Hashem created the world with kindness, with the intention that we will emulate His graciousness.
In order to fulfill our mission of bringing hesed into the world, we must understand what hesed really means. It means an action that is motivated by a spirit of generosity, an action that we are not obligated to do, isn’t repayment for an act done for us, and for which we expect nothing in return. Hesed means giving out of a spirit of genuine and selfless generosity.
Avraham Avinu is known as the embodiment of the virtue of hesed. Rav Eliyahu Dessler, zt”l (1892-1953), explains that Avraham dispensed kindness not out of a sense of duty, but out of a burning desire to give. Avraham’s soul was infused with the spirit of hesed.
The prophet Michah instructs: “…do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your Gd.” We fulfill our spiritual destiny not by doing acts of kindness – but rather by loving those acts. Our focus must be not on the acts themselves, but on the joy we experience when we perform such acts. We are to not just act kindly, but to love acting kindly.
Rabbi Shlomo Lankry, zt”l, was such a person – someone overcome by a burning desire to help those in need, filled with compassion for his fellow man, who dedicated his life to alleviating other people’s pain and distress, with no expectation of honor or of anything in return.
Not Letting Anyone Feel Alone on His Watch
Just as Avraham sat in the doorway of his tent hoping to welcome guests, Rabbi Shlomo stood on Kings Highway waiting for an opportunity to help another person. And just like Avraham, who not only served his guests water, but fed them an entire meal, Rabbi Shlomo extended himself above and beyond, looking after all of the person’s needs.
His son, Rabbi Moshe Lankry, recalls that as a young boy, he would see his father standing in front of Sisu, his bookstore on Kings Highway, looking “to the left and to the right – not only once, but a few times. I didn’t understand what he was doing. Then one day he said to me, ‘Moshe, you see that lady? Walk her home.’ So I did. I spent an hour with her listening to her life story. And when I got back, my father asked, ‘Nu, how was it?’ I learned a lot about my father then, and a lesson for life.”
The Mishnah (Avot 1:5) instructs, “Let your house be open wide, and let the poor be members of your household.” Likewise, the Gemara (Shabbat 104a) teaches, “The way of those who do hesed is to run after the poor.” Rabbi Aaron Lankry experienced this every Friday night alongside his father.
“Every Friday night after shul, my father would take us to every shul in the neighborhood looking for a rabbi, a shaliah, anyone who didn’t have a place to go, and bring them home with us. And many times they didn’t leave; they would stay for months.”
Rabbi Shlomo Lankry’s daughter, Emily Antar, says she does not remember a week without guests.
“And I don’t mean cousins or other relatives,” she clarifies. “Our guests were people who had no place to be.”
Rabbi Aaron said his father was committed to “not letting anyone feel alone on his watch,” and he attributes this commitment to the rabbi’s own experience as a refugee arriving on American shores, when he and his family were greeted with an outpouring of kindness.
A Mission of Torah and Kindness
Rabbi Lankry was born in the village of Beni-Mellal in Morocco, which had a small but vibrant community of Torah-observant Jews. Prior to his bar-mitzvah, he was sent to learn in the Schneider Yeshiva in England, where he studied under the yeshiva’s founder, Rav Gedalia Schneider, a disciple of the Hafetz Chaim. (The Schneider Yeshiva produced a number of other outstanding rabbis, as well, such as Rav Eliezer Lopian and Rav Alter Alperin.) During his period in the yeshiva, Shlomo learned Yiddish and became acquainted with the culture of European Jewry. He would later credit his experience in the yeshiva with engendering within him the feeling that every Jew is a brother to whom one is committed to help.
Rabbi Lankry (top right corner) while in yeshiva in England.
At the age of 21, he returned to Morocco seeking a bride, and he married the woman who became his eshet hayil and lifelong partner, Zehava. The couple moved to Meknes, where the rabbi taught in the yeshiva while Mrs. Lankry taught in the preschool. Already early in life, he set himself on a mission to teach Torah and extend kindness to his fellow Jews.
Although the Jews in Morocco were treated well, hostility towards them intensified in 1967, following Israel’s victory in the Six Day War. For the sake of their family’s safety, Rabbi Shlomo and Zehava made the difficult decision to leave Morocco. Most of the Jews who left Morocco at this time emigrated to Israel, but Rabbi and Mrs. Lankry decided to sail to the U.S. so they could live near great yeshivot, and because they felt their two sons had a greater chance of retaining their religious commitment in America. Mrs. Lankry had two brothers learning in the Mirrer Yeshiva in Brooklyn, so that is where they chose to settle.
Upon arriving in Brooklyn, Mrs. Lankry describes, they “were like a computer mouse; a force moved us around, and wherever we went, we found our way.” She says she feels an enormous debt of gratitude to all those who helped them during those early years, and she believes this experience shaped the rabbi’s commitment to helping other people and ensuring that they never feel alone. They were helped by people like the Zachs family, who invited them to live with them from Rosh Hashanah through Yom Kippur; Mr. Meyer Birnbaum, who gave them an apartment rent-free for three months; and Rabbi Avraham Newhouse, who helped them attain their green cards. These people, among others, were the “force” sent by Hashem that guided the new immigrants to where they needed to be.
“Everyone Knows Where to Find Me”
While living in Mr. Birnbaum’s apartment, Mrs. Lankry cooked meals for him to express her gratitude. Mr. Birnbaum, owner of Mauzone catering, quickly discerned her talents as a cook, and hired her to work for the catering business. The rabbi, meanwhile, began working at Magen David Yeshivah and organized a minyan for the Moroccan students learning at the Mirrer Yeshiva.
With his keen eye for the community’s needs, the rabbi partnered with Shimon Cohen to open a store of religious books in the heart of the community. He always wanted to be near a yeshiva, and so he established his store – called Sisu – on Kings Highway, around the corner from the Mirrer Yeshiva.
Rabbi David Ozeri disputes the idea that Sisu was a store. “It was not a store,” he insists. “It barely had any merchandise. Sisu was a front – a front for the rabbi to do hesed, to save people’s lives, to be mekarev people.” In fact, Rabbi Aaron Lankry shared that a pile of checks from rabbis and Torah scholars who had purchased etrogim were found in the back of the store, having never been cashed.
Rabbi Lankry always felt that sitting on an upturned milk crate was the way he could provide the most help. He would say, “Everyone knows where to find me.”
Indeed, everyone knew that Rabbi Lankry would be there when they needed him. As the rabbinic leader of, and driving force behind, the Chevra Kadisha for over 50 years, he was the man that the entire community turned to in their darkest times. He would be available 24/7, even in the middle of the night, to guide, console and reassure. When asked why he would answer the phone at 2am knowing there was nothing he could do for the family until morning, he responded, “I have to pick up the phone in the middle of the night to say, ‘Don’t worry, I am taking care of everything’.” The rabbi couldn’t sleep knowing that a community member, whom he regarded as a family member, was in distress.
Daniel Sultan, whose father and grandfather worked alongside the rabbi in the Chevra Kadisha, and who himself has worked with the rabbi for 30 years, marvels at how he was “so full of energy and compassion, and dedicated to preserving the dignity of the departed.” Mr. Sultan says Rabbi Lankry “supported every endeavor of our committee,” adding, “we owe him a great debt of gratitude.”
When the committee came to the rabbi for advice on purchasing new burial plots, he concluded by saying, “But you won’t need them – Mashiah is coming.”
The Shoulder We All Leaned On
Mrs. Lankry relates that Rabbi Lankry first became involved with the Chevra when a fellow rabbi of Moroccan descent passed away, and he volunteered to perform the taharah (cleaning the body in preparation for burial) to ensure that it would be done according to tradition. Jacob Arama, who himself was a dedicated member of the Chevra, was so impressed with the honor that the rabbi bestowed upon the departed that he urged Judah Sultan, the original head of the Chevra Kadisha, to hire him. The rabbi was working at Magen David at the time, and he didn’t want to accept the position, fearing it would disrupt his teaching schedule. But Mr. Sultan called the Board of Magen David and said, “We need him,” and they worked out an arrangement.
Rabbi Lankry spent the next 50 years ensuring that every deceased person was treated with dignity and respect, helping the deceased greet Gd in the next world in the best way possible. He performed the ultimate act of hesed – “hesed shel emet” (true kindness”) – preparing the body for burial and cemetery rites, a hesed which cannot ever be reciprocated. Rabbi Saul Kassin describes the rabbi’s role as “one of the most difficult responsibilities in public service, the truest, most selfless act of benevolence one can do for another.” He was the shoulder we all leaned on. He worked tirelessly, attending to every detail of thousands of funerals – sometimes handling multiple funerals on the same day – comforting the family during the shivah and even beyond, encouraging them, in his own special way, to stay connected to each other.
Even while devoting countless hours to serving Hashem and community, Rabbi Lankry always made his family his highest priority. His daughter, Adina Mezrahi, recalls, “We knew he was there for us. My father was always the one we would call when we needed someone to pray for us…and we knew we would be well and all would be okay. I remember growing up dancing with him and how he danced with his granddaughters at their weddings. He made us all feel so alive, which is incredible considering what he did every day.”
Rabbi Lankry was blessed with keen insight into human nature, and truly understood people. Rabbi Duvi Bensoussan described the rabbi as a second father who “knew you were capable of greatness and wouldn’t settle for less,” adding, “He believed in me, introduced me to my mission, telling me I was meant to be a talmid hacham, and he never let me be anything less.” Reflecting on Rabbi Lankry’s example, Rabbi Bensoussan says, “If you want to find clarity and purpose in your life, find someone who believes in you and will be relentless to hold you to that path.”
Masquerading as a Simple Man
Rabbi Bensoussan and Rabbi Eli Mansour both humbly acknowledged that “We did not give enough kavod [respect] to Rabbi Shlomo. He wouldn’t let us.” The rabbi’s humor and joviality made everyone around him feel relaxed, but also had the effect of concealing his greatness. As Rabbi Mansour said at the arayat: “The rabbi was very humble, very private in his avodat Hashem [service of Gd]. He masqueraded as an adam pashut, a simple man. But he was very far from simple. Only now will we hear the stories.”
His daughter, Mrs. Emily Antar similarly says, “So many people approach me and begin, ‘You don’t know what your father did for me.’ We are beginning to understand the scope of my father’s legacy of hesed.”
Rabbi Lankry’s passing has left a great void in our community, but the family is mobilizing to fill it, to whatever extent possible, by continuing the rabbi’s work. “So far, there are three of us needed to do his work, and I’m sure more of us will be involved,” Mrs. Emily Antar added. As Rabbi Aaron Lankry said, “It isn’t over.” The impact of the rabbi’s lifetime of kindness, his example of humility, gratitude, and yirat Shamayim (fear of Gd), will, please Gd, endure through the dedicated efforts of his family and the countless people he inspired.
We all pray that these efforts will be successful, in the great merit of Rabbi Shlomo ben Rahel.
(Author’s Note: It has been my humble honor to write this tribute to Rabbi Shlomo Lankry, zt”l. It must be emphasized, though, that no amount of words – and certainly not a 2000-word article – can even begin to capture the sheer magnitude and of his awe-inspiring work and legacy.)
