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The Lighter Side – May 2026

Three-Day Pass

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the commanding officer for a 3-day pass. The officer replied, “Are you crazy? You just joined the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!”

So, the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The officer was so impressed, and asked, “How did you do it?”

“Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab in his tank. I put my white flag up, and the Arab raised  his white flag. I asked the Arab soldier, ‘Do you want to get a 3-day pass?’ He agreed, so we exchanged tanks!”

Mordechai A.

The Clean Cup

A couple walked into a cheap-looking restaurant. As they were about to sit down they noticed there were crumbs on the seat. After cleaning up the seat and wiping down the table, they sat down. A waitress came over and asked them what they wanted, “I’ll just take a coffee,” said the man. “Me too,” said the lady. “And make sure the cup is clean.” The waitress returned with their drinks and said, “Okay, now, which one of you wanted the clean cup?”

Gladys D.

Wrong Diagnosis

Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “My Eddie,” said Margaret, “everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Eddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I so much as hint that I want something the next morning it’s on my doorstep.” “That’s very nice about your Eddie, says Gertrude. But with all due respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just can’t compare. Every morning as soon as I wake up he greets me with scrambled eggs, toast, and freshly brewed coffee. Every lunch he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every supper he brings me to his house for supper. He truly treats me like a queen.” “Well,” says Barbara, “I don’t want to make any of you feel bad or anything, but wait until you hear about my Harry. Twice a week he pays someone $200 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them – and who do you think he speaks about at those prices?” asks Barbara with a big, excited smile, “I’ll tell you who he speaks about! ALL HE SPEAKS ABOUT IS ME!”

Frieda  M.

Watch What You Say!

As a first grade teacher, I often hear from my students things going on in their family. Harry’s mother was expecting, and naturally Harry was very excited about it. When one day Harry stopped talking about it I was concerned and questioned him. “Well,” Harry said, “my mother told me I could feel the baby moving in her stomach – I think she ate it!”

Sara G.

Missing Shoes

As part of my job as a preschool teacher I have to help the children put on their coats and shoes. One rainy day when school was over and the children were getting ready to leave, one child came over to me in tears saying, “My shoes are missing!” I pointed to her shoes and replied, “They are in the corner.”  “Those are not mine!” she said, stamping her foot, “Mine had rain drops on them!”

Marlene G.

History Lesson

A man gathered all of his children together and said, “Children, when George Washington knocked down the cherry tree, he told his father honestly that it was him. Now, answer me honestly, who knocked down the shed? Finally, the youngest son admitted it was him, at which he received a punishment he wouldn’t soon forget. “That’s not fair,” complained the son, “George Washington didn’t get punished when he told the truth.” “Son,” replied the father, “the difference is, that George Washington’s father wasn’t in the tree when he knocked it down!”

Solomon S.

Mixed Signals

An American tourist was riding in a taxi in Israel. As the taxi approached a red light, the tourist was shocked to see the driver drive straight through without even slowing down. Surprised as he was, he didn’t say anything feeling himself a “guest” and not wanting to make waves. The trip continued without event until the next intersection. This time the light was green and, to the American’s dismay, the cab driver brought the vehicle to a grinding halt. Unable to contain his astonishment, he turns to the driver.

“Listen.” he says, “When you went through the red light, I didn’t say anything. But why on earth are you stopping at a green light?”

The Israeli driver looks at him as if the American was deranged: “Are you crazy?!” he shouts. “The other guy has a red light! Do you want to get us killed?”

David M.

Hot Line

A young man entered the emergency room with his two ears burned. “What happened?” asked the doctor. “Well,” the man explained, “my wife was ironing clothing behind my chair while I was watching a video. She put down the iron next to the phone and when the phone rang I answered the iron.” “Wow that is terrible” responded the doctor. “And what happened to your other ear?” “Well,” the young man responded, “right afterwards, the phone rang again!”

Nathan H.

Lost in Translation

A Polish immigrant who was married to an American woman barged into the police station out of breath. “My wife, she tried to kill me,” he stammered. “Are you absolutely sure?” questioned the police officer. “Of course I’m sure.” He countered, insulted. “You think I’m dumb, look what I found in her purse.” He pulled out a bottle from his pocket and said, “Look – it says Polish Remover!”

Ronnie C.

My Favorite Son

Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing bridge and bragging about their sons. “My Eddie,” said Margaret, “everyone should be so lucky to have a son like my Eddie. Once a week he brings me a huge bouquet of flowers, he’s constantly bringing me out to restaurants to eat, if I so much as hint that I want something the next morning it’s on my doorstep.” “That’s very nice about your Eddie, says Gertrude. But with all due respect, when I think about the way my Sammy takes care of me, it just can’t compare. Every morning as soon as I wake up he greets me with scrambled eggs, toast, and freshly brewed coffee. Every lunch he comes over and cooks me a gourmet lunch, and every supper he brings me to his house for supper. He truly treats me like a queen.” “Well,” says Barbara, “I don’t want to make any of you feel bad or anything, but wait until you hear about my Harry. Twice a week he pays someone $200 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them – and who do you think he speaks about at those prices?” asks Barbara with a big, excited smile, “I’ll tell you who he speaks about! ALL HE SPEAKS ABOUT IS ME!”

Frieda  M.

Living Emunah – Our Shadow

Rabbi David Ashear

The Sfat Emet (650) writes on the words, “Hashem is your shadow (Tehillim 121:5): Just as our shadow acts as we do, so, too, Hashem acts with us according to the way we behave. Therefore, he continues, if we can rise above our nature and do things l’maalah min hateva, then Hashem will break the rules of nature for us and bring us salvations in wondrous ways.

Every time a person responds to a difficulty with emunah, he is going against his nature. The natural reaction to hardship is to be angry or sad. If a person is able to remain happy and at peace, he is rising above his nature. Some people have worked on themselves to the point that if they get a dent on their car or lose a valuable item, it will not upset them at all. Some people wouldn’t get upset even if they lost thousands of dollars. The more emunah we can access, the higher we will be able to rise above our nature. When we reach very high levels we can merit miracles.

This may be the idea behind the wondrous segulah taught to us by the Nefesh HaChaim (Shaar 3, Ch. 12). He writes: “There is a great and wondrous segulah to ward off any harsh judgments and foil the plans of anyone coming to harm us. When a person acknowledges in his heart that Hashem is the true Gd and there is no power in existence other than Him, and he subjugates himself completely to Hashem and disregards any other power, then, in return, Hashem will remove from him all harmful forces.’”

One of the most difficult manifestations of emunah is for one who was harmed by someone else to believe that the perpetrator of the damage really has no power whatsoever. Everyone and everything is controlled by Hashem. If we could see through nature and really believe in our heart of hearts that it’s all a facade, then Hashem will remove those natural forces.

A man in Eretz Yisrael came to Rabbi Lugassi, distraught over the fact that his two daughters were losing their hair. Every day, big clumps were falling out, and the doctors could do nothing to halt it from happening. The Rabbi opened a Midrash on Parashat Metzora, which speaks about how Hashem created separate life sources for each individual hair on a person’s body. He gave that man an entire discourse regarding about how Hashem is even in charge of hair. Then he shared the segulah of the Nefesh HaChaim, and instructed him to constantly repeat in his mind that Hashem is the only One in control of his daughters’ hair. It’s not due to sickness or a random occurrence; it is all from Hashem. When you nullify all forces and realize that there is nothing other than Hashem, then, middah k’negged middah, Hashem will not allow any other forces to affect you. Baruch Hashem, the man followed the Rabbi’s advice and, not too long afterward, their hair stopped falling out.

“Hashem is your shadow.” When we are able to rise above nature, then Hashem will act with us above the rules of nature.

Yeshivah Flatbush High School Students Advocate for Israel in Washington, D.C.

Ellen Geller Kamaras

On March 24th, students from Yeshivah Flatbush High School met with U.S. elected officials and their senior staff members to advocate for Israel. Most of these young leaders belong to the Yeshivah’s Students Supporting Israel club, SSI.

Yeshivah of Flatbush (YOF) has created meaningful initiatives and has implemented them to educate and train its students, our future community leaders, in Israel advocacy and combatting anti-Semitism.

Background

SSI, a leadership-based club, works in partnership with the William S. Levine Family Shoah Institute and meets weekly. In 2022, YOF received a donation of $6 million from William S. Levine, who graduated from the YOF Elementary School in 1946. It was the largest donation ever given to the Yeshivah since its founding in 1927. The donation established the Levine Institute for Shoah Legacy (the Shoah Institute), an all-encompassing umbrella initiative for YOF Middle School and Joel Braverman High School students.

Rabbi Jeffrey Rothman, YOF Executive Director explained, “The Institute will prepare students for the moral responsibility to bear witness to the tragedies of the Holocaust and will help preserve an honest history of survivors’ voices for generations to come.”  Witness Theater is one of the Institute’s signature programs that pairs high school students with Holocaust survivors to dramatize the survivors’ stories, transforming memories into live performances.  The Middle School participates in the Names, Not Numbers program, as well.

After the horrific events of October 7th and in response to rising anti-Semitic and anti-Israel incidents, YOF launched a Combating Anti-Semitism and Israel Advocacy initiative for the 2025-2026 academic year.

Designed for high school students, the initiative combined an enhanced, age-appropriate curriculum on the history of anti-Semitism and its contemporary forms, Israel’s modern history and the Arab Israeli conflict, and practical advocacy skills. A key experiential component included training field trips, college campus visits, and lobbying/advocacy missions, including travel to NYC City Hall, Albany, and Washington, D.C.

My brother, Marty Geller, also a YOFHS alum, helped to establish the program and contributed funds from the Geller Family Foundation to finance the year-long advocacy program for 2024 and 2025, which culminated in Washington, D.C. for the students’ two-day lobbying trips. Marty is an American businessman, philanthropist, and Israel activist. 

In its second year, the Geller gift enabled YOF to bring student Israel advocacy training to life through a mission to Washington, D.C in March 2026, and also provided key programming throughout the year.  The March trip was an enormous success with 44 participants (up from last year’s 25 participants) from YOF who went to Washington, D.C. with Marty and Flatbush Yeshivah faculty members.

The March Mission

Rabbi David Hertzberg, the Director of the Shoah Institute and former YOF middle school principal, accompanied the delegation, along with other YOF faculty and Marty, who was a key player in preparing the students.    

Marty met with the SSI students throughout the year, and in January 2026 he attended a dinner at the Yeshivah, kicking off the advocacy training process.  He shared insights on advocacy, philanthropy, and lessons from business.

The group left New York on Sunday, March 22 and stopped in Baltimore for lunch and team building activities.  Advocacy training followed at the DC hotel in the evening, enabling students to become comfortable with their talking points, which included anti-Semitism, the war with Iran, and the general U.S.-Israel alliance.

Marty participated with on-the-ground preparation related to lobbying skills at the AIPAC offices on Monday morning and he joined the students for a sightseeing tour, which included the Supreme Court.

Training and Execution

Training emphasized (1) identifying major current issues in Israel, (2) understanding how Congress works and the role of lobbying, (3) learning lobbying techniques, and (4) preparing talking points in groups for meetings with elected officials or their staff. Rabbi Hertzberg clarified that the group participated in Capitol Hill meetings as advocates for their cause and as themselves.

In the afternoon, the students conducted Capitol Hill advocacy meetings in small teams in congressional offices.

Each cohort of students was accompanied by either a faculty member or a senior SSI student with prior advocacy experience.  Each group met with their own senator, congressperson, or staff person in the NY/NJ area to advocate for support of Israel and the U.S.–Israel alliance. They also raised concerns about rising anti-Semitism and the broader security challenges posed by Iran.

Marty and Rabbi Hertzberg joined these groups, too.  Advocacy efforts included visits to the offices of Senators Chuck Schumer, Kristen Gillibrand, Cory Booker and others, though the students primarily met with senior staffers given the congressional schedule.

Debriefing 

Rabbi Hertzberg asked: did we move the needle forward?

The debriefing that followed the visits and the feedback received definitely indicated that the advocacy mission was productive and successful.  It is critical our elected offices continue to hear from constituents of all ages, especially our future leaders.  Perhaps equally as important, students felt engaged and empowered that they could present their talking points to officials who are in a position to effect change.

The students utilized what they learned throughout the year and in Washington, and were able to explain why an alliance with Israel benefits the United States. They followed up by asking officials to support specific legislation.  It was a wonderful opportunity for them to build on their communication, advocacy, and leadership skills, especially for future advocacy missions.  Saying thank you to our government representatives for supporting Israel was a key takeaway, too!

The students appreciated the professional treatment they received from Marty and the AIPAC staff. Many expressed interest in future trips and experiences. 

As part of their training, Marty and the professionals encouraged the students to share their own experiences on Capitol Hill to make their advocacy more personal.  One student shared what happened when his family’s young Israeli guest asked when a motorized gadget went off (that opens a window shade) if they had to run to a shelter. This demonstrated so clearly how the missiles and sirens impact Israeli daily life.  

Rabbi Hertzberg expects more students to join in future advocacy trips.  Marty emphasized that the biggest pay-off from these missions is the number of students who become inspired to stand with Israel and get involved in many ways.  Teenagers learn to do their part, whether by sending emails and making calls to government officials, getting involved on university campuses when they start college, and encouraging their families and friends to support Israel financially.

The students expressed their gratitude to Marty and the Geller Family Foundation for sponsoring this meaningful program and trip.

For more information on the Shoah Institute’s Israel Advocacy programs and missions, please email Rabbi Hertzberg at DHertzberg@flatbush.org.

In Their Own Words

Below are reflections from four of students who participated in the trip, sharing what the experience meant to them.

Judah: “Going on the Yeshivah Flatbush Washington trip was a privilege. And knowing that I had the opportunity to do something that so few people my age get to do was truly special.”

Eli: “It was meaningful to be heard and taken seriously in the halls of power even though I’m only a teenager.”

Zach: “During our lobbying trip, our cohort had the opportunity to speak with the people who make change in the country. It made me realize that by implementing our rights, we can make a difference. It dawned on me that this country is truly a country for the people by the people.”

Sam: “I was able to present how maintaining strong support for Israel is not only vital for regional stability, but is also beneficial to the United States. I emphasized that continued American aid to Israel strengthens economic ties, supports innovation and security cooperation, and ultimately contributes to both nations’ long-term prosperity. Showing support for those officials who are helping Israel is important to keep it going. I feel I made an impact even though I am only 14.”          

Voices of Vision – May 2026

Ellen Geller Kamaras

I look at my special education agency as a shlichut, to help our community children grow and succeed and build the right foundation for an amazing future.  I didn’t shine as a student and now I have the skills to ensure that our students flourish.”  ~ Jaime Chams ~

Please meet Jaime, neé Stavrach, Chams, who was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York.  She describes herself as a very hard-working, goal-oriented, and a spiritual person.

Jaime is the founder of Always a Step Ahead, an agency that helps community children access special education services that they are entitled to from the NYC Department of Education (DOE). Jaime’s organization assists hundreds of students receive the services they need to thrive including SETSS (Special Education Teacher Support Services), speech, occupational and physical therapy, and counseling.

Jaime’s parents, Anat and Joseph Stavrach, raised their family in Brooklyn where the imbued their children with a love of Torah and mitzvot. They especially were committed to hesed and community service, and ran Aishel Shabbat, an organization that they helped create. (Aishel Shabbat currently provides nutritious, quality Shabbat meals for nearly 250 families).

Jaime is the second of four children, two boys and two girls. Jaime grew up in a home that always focused on being there and giving to others, as well as caring about those in need.

Jaime is warm and very easy to chat with.  She has been a super friendly person since childhood and connects easily with people. 

After graduating Ateret Torah High School, Jaime’s next step academically was enrolling in Training and Testing International (TTI) for a bachelor’s and master’s degree in special education. TTI partners with nationally and regionally accredited universities bringing higher education to the frum community in a controlled, Torah-based environment.

Always a Step Ahead

Created in 2010, Jaime’s goal was to grow in the field of special education services and ensure all our students stay Always a Step Ahead.

Jaime was working for another agency at the time, and realized that our community needed someone who could offer more care and concern specifically geared to our community. She wanted her agency to be more individualized rather than factory style. She approached many different community schools, and saw there was a great need. Baruch Hashem, many doors opened for her.

In addition to helping children obtain eligible services from the DOE, Jaime and her staff hire and pay providers and manage the funding while awaiting reimbursement and additional funding.  They take care of everything involved in the service procurement and administration from beginning to end.

Parent involvement in the process, especially in court appeal cases, is crucial. Jaime emphasizes that parents must feel passionate that their child is entitled to the services so that they become a meaningful partner in the funding process. Jaime used to have her team take care of everything with minimal parent involvement, but over the years she realized that more parent input is needed and so the agency created a team to focus on this.

Passions

Jaime is on fire about helping and advocating for kids to be placed into the right schools. 

There are children who are sent out of school or are not accepted or are excluded by other kids or are bullied silently.

On a personal level, Jaime is proud that she can support her family while her husband learns in kollel – “That is huge for me.” She works from home, and stresses that she would not have it any other way. Her job keeps her very busy, but she manages to pull dinner together or do homework with the kids in between emails and meetings. Family is very important to Jaime, and she puts great emphasis on spending time with her loved ones.

The best reward for Jaime is hearing from parents that the support her agency gives enables their children to succeed.  “It is so worthwhile when a parent calls and thanks me for being a partner in their child’s success.”

Mentors and Role Models

Jaime frequently asks her rabbis and mentors questions about work and how to proceed. She also reaches out for chinuch guidance and how to balance work and home life. 

Her secret to success?  “Prayers and lots of advice and berachot from rabbis who guide me every step of the way.”

Balance

Jamie has gotten better at achieving work-life balance.  While building her agency and ensuring its core is the personal connection, she established close relationships with the parents her agency serves.  Most parents treat her as a best friend and associate the services they receive directly with her and not just with the agency. 

For the first twelve years of her business, Jaime refused to get assistance aside from her husband pitching in on lunch breaks or at night, or someone occasionally working on the billing.  Jaime realized that doing everything herself was taking a toll on her and on her family and that she needed help.  The agency now has a team of secretaries working remotely and a communications team that works closely to inform parents of the process as it proceeds. 

She is now a big advocate of asking for help!

Community and Hesed

Jaime adores her community, “Its members feel so strongly about giving back and investing in it. We are so solid. There is no community quite like us anywhere!”

Working with students across the community has taught Jaime a lot about acceptance and being non-judgmental. 

She learned about the importance of hesed at a young age from her parents.  “I grew up with tons of hesed in the home. My parents taught us to always give, and my biggest prayer and blessing to all is to always remain on the giving end, because there is nothing as special as being able to give.”

Jaime enjoys reading and going to shiurim when she can.

Closing Tips

Pray and ask for spiritual advice. Finding the right mentor or rabbi who you trust and guide you can help you gain clarity. Try to find someone from the community in your related business or profession who can serve as a mentor to you.

“Many agencies or private providers call me for assistance when needed, and I love to help when I can. I also call them when I need advice.  If you realize that parnassa is from Hashem, you will be happy to help others grow and [you] will only succeed.”

You can reach Jaime at p3center@yahoo.com.Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.   Ellen can be contacted at ellen.kamaras@gmail.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

Once Upon A Thyme – Veal Scallopini

Adina Yaakov

Veal Scallopini is a classic dish made with thin, tender veal cutlets that are lightly floured and quickly pan-seared until golden. It’s finished in a mushroom sauce with white wine, garlic, and onions, then rounded out with chicken broth, coconut milk, and a splash of lemon for balance. The sauce comes out rich and silky, coating the veal nicely without feeling heavy. Served over pasta and topped with fresh parsley, it’s a comforting, simple take on a well-loved dish that feels like restaurant quality food made at home.

Ingredients:

  • 1.5 lbs. veal cutlets, pounded thin
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1 cup flour
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1 onion, finely diced
  • 1 tbsp margarine
  • 2 cups sliced mushrooms
  • 6 cloves minced garlic
  • 1 cup white wine
  • 1 cup chicken broth
  • 2 tbsp  lemon juice
  • 1 cup coconut milk
  • 1 box pasta, cooked according to directions
  • Handful fresh parsley
  • Lemon slices for serving
  1. Add the all-purpose flour, salt and black pepper to a shallow bowl or plate. Mix to combine.
  1. Season the veal cutlets with salt and pepper, then dredge them in the flour mixture.
  2. Place a large frying pan over medium heat. When the pan is hot, add the olive oil, followed by the floured cutlets.
  3. Cook the cutlets for 1-2 minutes, then turn them over and cook for another minute or two. Remove the meat from the pan and place it on a plate while you finish the dish.
  4. Add the margarine to the same pan, and turn the heat up to medium-high. When the margarine is melted, add the onions to the pan and cook for 6-7 minutes.
  5. Add the mushrooms and cook, stirring occasionally, until browned and their moisture has evaporated (about 8–10 minutes).
  6. Season with salt and pepper, then add the garlic and cook for 30–60 seconds until fragrant.
  7. Lower the heat and add the wine to deglaze the pan, scraping the bottom to loosen the browned bits. Let the wine simmer for 2–3 minutes to reduce slightly.
  8. Add the chicken broth, coconut milk, and lemon juice to the pan.
  9. In a small bowl, mix 2 tbsp flour with ¼ cup cold water to make a slurry. Stir the slurry into the sauce and simmer until thickened.
  10. Return the cutlets to the pan and cook until heated through and the sauce has slightly thickened. Re-season with salt and black pepper if needed.
  11. Garnish with chopped Italian parsley and lemon slices. Serve on top of pasta and garnish with fresh parsley and lemon slices..

Shavuot FAQ

By Rabbi Hayim Asher Arking and Rabbi Ezra Ghodsi

Many have the custom to eat dairy on Shavuot. If one wants to make dairy bread, one should be cognizant of the halachot involved. The Gemara (Pesahim 30b) teaches that one is not allowed to make bread that was kneaded with milk. This prohibition was instituted by the Rabbis out of concern that one will forget or will not realize the bread is dairy and will eat it together with meat. Baking dairy bread is only permitted in certain instances.

What are the conditions to allow one to bake dairy bread?

One may bake dairy bread if one of the following conditions is met:

1) Only a small amount is baked.

2) The bread is baked in a shape that is recognized as specifically dairy or meat. If there is an identifying – not just a different – shape, that will remind people that it is meat or dairy one may bake even a large amount.

What is considered “a small amount”?

According to some opinions, it’s the amount that will be eaten in the coming meal. Some are more lenient and allow an amount that will be eaten within the next day. When baking such a small amount for the family there is no concern that it will be accidentally eaten with the other type.

What shape should I bake the bread in?

A shape only helps if those eating the bread would recognize the bread is dairy because of the shape. If the same shape is used for both dairy and pareve bread it will not help, as one may inadvertently assume that the bread  is pareve. Another option would be to sprinkle cheese on top of the dough, as this way it would be easily recognizable as dairy and it wouldn’t be eaten with meat accidentally.

What if I already baked a large amount without a distinctive shape?

If one forgot, or even if one was unaware of the halacha, and baked a large amount of dairy bread, all of the bread is forbidden to eat, even by itself, and must be discarded. Once the dairy bread is baked, it does not help to give it out to family and friends, even if each person is receiving a small amount and it will be eaten right away.

What about crackers and pastries?

Although one of the above conditions is necessary for both bread and crackers alike, those conditions are not required for sweet pastries or cakes. One is allowed to bake a large number of sweet dairy pastries or cakes even without an identifying shape. Since sweet pastries are not eaten together with meat we are not concerned that a mistake will happen. Although one who ate meat has to wait six hours before eating anything dairy, we do not go so far as to prohibit making something that might be eaten during that time, and only prohibit what might be eaten together with meat.

What about items that are filled, like sambousak?

In regards to sambousak or bourekas, there are varying customs. Some are careful to make them in an identifying shape. For example, cheese bourekas are triangles, while the meat ones are made into a square. The meat ones also have some of the meat showing to differentiate between meat and pareve bourekas. For sambousak, the meat and cheese ones are made in two different shapes to identify which one is which. Others are of the opinion that the prohibition only applies to bread that was kneaded with milk, as one who is eating it has no way to know that it is not regular bread. However, something filled does not need an identifying shape, as it is clearly noticeable that there is filling and one will find out what is inside before eating. Experience has shown that it is prudent to make bourekas or sambousak noticeably different, as people have mistakenly used the dairy ones for a meat meal or baked dairy and meat ones simultaneously.

What if a small amount of pareve bread came in contact with dairy?

If only a small amount of pareve bread came in contact with dairy, it is permissible to eat, however, one must be careful not to eat it with meat. In fact, the halacha goes further and requires that any bread eaten with a dairy meal may not be eaten at a meat meal, or vice versa, out of concern that the bread may have come in contact with meat or dairy. This halacha applies to any food that was on the table and potentially came in contact with dairy or meat. They should not be served at the opposite meal.

What about the bread that was in the middle of the table and didn’t get touched at all?

Generally, what was used for serving in the middle of the table may be used in both a meat and dairy meal, as it wouldn’t come in contact with the other food on the table. One should be mindful if there are children at the table, as it may be problematic to re-serve the food since it is more likely that the food would have come in contact  with their hands, which may have had food residue on them.

Custom to Eat Dairy It is interesting to note that while there are many reasons given for the custom to eat dairy on Shavuot. The Rema (Shulhan Aruch 594:3) explains the custom based on the previous halacha. It appears the custom in his time was to start the meal with dairy and then in the middle clear off all the dairy and switch to a meat meal. The Rema explains that based on the above halacha, they would need to bring new bread to the table. The requirement to have two separate breads would then serve as a remembrance of the Sh’tei Ha’lehem – the two-bread offering brought in the Bet Hamikdash on Shavuot.          

The Final Three Days: Preparing for Shavuot

Gilad Shmueli

The days leading up to the holiday of Shavuot are days of special preparation, spiritual elevation, and purification. The spiritual energy that descended into the world at the time of the giving of the Torah returns every year on the same date. It is therefore vital to prepare ourselves, so that we become fitting vessels for receiving the holy Torah.

In the book Chemdat Yamim (Shavuot, Chapter 1), it is written about these special pre-Shavuot days: “During these days, one should not allow their mind to drift from the scene at Mount Sinai. One should imagine how the people of Israel stood in purity and separation as they faced the mountain – standing before Gd in awe, fear, and trembling – because Hashem descended upon it with tens of thousands of angels.”

“Remembering this can awaken reverence in the heart, prompting one to sanctify themselves even in that which is permitted, to act as though they themselves are standing at that very event. One should not veer left or right into worldly distractions, and should make Torah study a fixed priority and other matters temporary from Rosh Chodesh Sivan until the sixth of the month, even if they don’t usually live this way. Then they will merit Divine assistance to cast off the impurities of the “serpent” and receive added holiness, just as our holy ancestors did at this time. Fortunate is the person who acts in holiness and purity during these six days – such a person will receive an added spiritual light, deepening their awe of the Almighty.”

Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe once hung a note in his yeshiva, sharing a spiritual segulah (practice for merit) that he had received from his teacher, Rabbi Shmuel Charkover. It said that the three days before Shavuot – the Three Days of Separation (Shloshet Yemei Hagbalah) – are days of tremendous spiritual potential.

Rabbi Wolbe wrote: “I received from my teacher and mentor, Rabbi Shmuel Charkover that the three days before Shavuot are auspicious days. One who learns Torah during them with great diligence, without wasting even a moment, will merit success in Torah learning for the entire year. He told me this is written in the holy books.”

A  Day of Spiritual Judgement

On Shavuot – the day the Torah was given – we receive the spiritual light of that momentous event at Mount Sinai. Each person has the opportunity to receive their personal portion of Torah.

The Sfat Emet writes: “On Shavuot, each person is judged according to the connection they maintained with Torah throughout the year…On this day, the Jewish people receive a renewed portion of Torah for the coming year, and that renewal depends entirely on each individual’s preparation.”

Shavuot is a sort of “day of judgment” for our spiritual lives. Each person receives their own Divine light and unique portion in the Torah based on how they’ve prepared. The custom to stay up all night learning Torah on Shavuot serves as a declaration of our desire to receive our share and to merit a deeper bond with the Torah.

A Day for Prayer and Request

Shavuot is also the Yahrtzeit (day of birth and passing) of David Hamelech, which is why it is customary to read and study Tehillim on this day. Since this is a day of spiritual judgment, it’s also an opportune time to pray for spiritual matters, both for yourself and for others.

Take advantage of this day to pray for: personal spiritual growth, complete repentance, closeness to Hashem, becoming a better and more refined Jew, doing Gd’s will with joy, and success in Torah,  mitzvot, and good deeds. Above all, pray for the Final Redemption, and that we all merit the rebuilding of our glorious Temple in Jerusalem, speedily in our days. Amen.

Sailing Relationships with R’ Ali – May 2026

QUESTION: 

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I have been putting in a lot of work in my marriage and things are getting better. I spent years in therapy and have done so much work on myself. The problem is that my husband refuses to address his past traumas, which I believe are hurting him and, in turn, our relationship. Is there anything I can do about this situation?


R’ Ali’s Response: 

It’s great that you have been putting in a lot of work and effort into bettering your marriage. You should continue to have the strength to work on your marriage. I do not mean to belittle any of the work that you have done, but I rarely come across a couple where both spouses aren’t working on their relationship.

The reason why I mention this is that people get burnt out from working so hard and not seeing their spouse work hard as well. Most of the time this is not true. In your case, it is most likely that your husband is working on the relationship. The reason why you may feel he isn’t may be for one or two reasons. He is working on what he feels is necessary to better the relationship, and second, he isn’t working on what you feel is necessary to better the relationship.  

Now, although he may not be working on what you feel needs work, you should know that he is not neglecting the relationship. Most likely, if I spoke to your husband, he would say that he’s trying really hard to make things work and it’s just not happening. When I tell this to people they are shocked and sort of relieved. This information won’t make the situation better. However, it does give some peace of mind knowing that he cares and wants things to get better. 

Unfortunately, I have encountered (very few) people who say, “My situation is a lost cause,” or “I’m too old for that stuff (working to improve my relationship).”  This is sad and a big mistake. I truly believe there is a way to improve almost every relationship.

Getting back to your question. This is something very common and it is important for people to understand this point. You mention that your husband has traumas and refuses to seek help. Was this assessed by a professional or was it self-diagnosed? This is an important question.

Most people tell me that “they know” he/ she needs therapy. Maybe you’re right. But I believe it is wrong to self-diagnose someone and then coerce them into going for therapy. Besides the fact that therapy rarely, if ever, helps someone who isn’t willing to go, I believe it is the professional’s job to decide who has trauma and who doesn’t. 

I know this sounds a bit harsh, but it is the source of much tension in marriage. One person is trying to get their spouse to seek professional help based on their own evaluation. 

Now, there are cases where a person is dysfunctional and clearly suffers from a real diagnosis such as OCD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc. These are serious disorders and need the guidance of a professional and should be dealt with.

However, your situation sounds fairly common and your husband’s situation is a far cry from a full-blown mental health disorder.  In closing, I would say to continue to work on your relationship, as it seems to be working. Don’t press your husband to seek help (unless otherwise advised by a professional). Acknowledge every little bit of improvement on his end and give positive reinforcement. And, of course, pray to Hashem for assistance from Above. 

What Makes Living in Midwood, Madison, and Marine Park So Special?

Karen Behfar

Spring has a way of reminding you why you love your neighborhood.

After the quieter winter months, the streets begin to feel lively again. Trees start to bloom along the sidewalks, families spend more time outside, and the everyday rhythm of the neighborhood becomes a little more visible. In places like Midwood, Madison, and Marine Park, spring really highlights the sense of community that makes these Brooklyn neighborhoods so special.

As someone who has spent many years helping families buy and sell homes throughout these neighborhoods, people often ask me what I personally love most about them. The truth is, it’s not just one thing. It’s the lifestyle and the small, everyday moments that make a neighborhood feel like home.

Life Happens Close to Home

One of the first things people notice about Midwood, Madison, and Marine Park, is how walkable the neighborhoods are. Daily life happens just a few blocks from home. You can step out for a cup of coffee in the morning, run into neighbors while picking up something for dinner, or simply take a walk and feel connected to the community around you. That kind of walkability is something many families are searching for when they begin looking for homes in Brooklyn.

The local coffee shops are part of that rhythm as well. They’re not just places to grab a drink. They become neighborhood gathering spots where people meet friends, catch up with neighbors, or simply take a moment to slow down during the day. Those small interactions are often what make a neighborhood feel welcoming and familiar.

Shuls and Restaurants for Every Taste

Another part of what makes these neighborhoods so meaningful is the strong network and incredible variety of local shuls. For many families living in Midwood, Madison, and Marine Park, the shul plays a central role in everyday life. With so many different congregations within walking distance, people are able to find the one that truly feels like home for them. It’s not just where people go for services, it’s where friendships grow, where children form connections, and where communities come together to celebrate holidays, mark milestones, and support one another during life’s important moments.

Of course, another thing people appreciate about living in this part of Brooklyn is the food. The neighborhood has an abundance of restaurants and takeout options, and many places stay open late. which is something residents quickly come to appreciate. Whether it’s a quick dinner after a busy day or a late-night bite, there are always options nearby.

Marine Park

And then there’s Marine Park. As the weather warms up, the park becomes a favorite place for families to walk, bike, or simply spend time outdoors. It’s one of Brooklyn’s most beautiful green spaces, and having it so close by adds another layer to the lifestyle these neighborhoods offer. On spring afternoons especially, you’ll see families out enjoying the park, kids playing, and neighbors stopping to talk along the paths.

The Sense of Community

For those who are exploring the Brooklyn housing market, neighborhoods like Midwood, Madison, and Marine Park often stand out because they offer a real sense of community, something that can be hard to find in a big city. People know their neighbors. Families grow here. And everyday life feels connected in a way that makes the neighborhood feel welcoming and familiar. At The Behfar Team, our mission has always been to provide a heart-and-soul real estate experience while helping families find the place that truly feels right for them. Because in the end, a home is about more than the property itself. It’s about the community that surrounds it and the life you build there.

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour – Celebrating the Most Eventual Non-Event in History

As everyone knows, the holiday of Shavuot is described in our holiday prayer service as “zeman matan Toratenu – the day of the giving of our Torah.” Meaning, Shavuot is the day when we received the Torah, and this is what we celebrate on this special day.

There’s only one problem with this – we didn’t actually receive the Torah on Shavuot.

You read that correctly – it emerges from our sources that the Revelation at Sinai did not occur on this day.

This point was made centuries ago by one of the great commentaries to the Shulchan Aruch – the Magen Avraham (Rav Avraham Gombiner, d. 1682). The Magen Avraham notes two widely-accepted traditions that lead us to the conclusion that the Torah was given not on Shavuot – the day following the 49th and final day of the omer period – but rather the day after that. 

First, the sages teach that in the year of the Exodus, the 15th of Nissan – the day our ancestors left Egypt – fell on Thursday (the way it did this year, 5786/2026). This means that the first day of the omer period was the next day – Friday – such that the final day of the omer was Thursday.  If Shavuot – the day following the culmination of the omer counting – marked the day of Matan Torah, then this would mean that the Torah was given on a Friday. However, the Gemara (Shabbat 86b) establishes that the Torah was given on Shabbat. Necessarily, then, the Torah was given not on Shavuot, but on the day after Shavuot.

My point here is not to call for postponing Shavuot for a day. Rather, it is to sharpen our understanding of what “zeman matan Toratenu” means, and how this enhances our celebration of this Yom Tov and, more generally, the way we see ourselves and our identity as Jews.

Challenging King David’s Legitimacy

To introduce the answer to this question, let us briefly explore one of the cherished customs of Shavuot – the reading of Megilat Rut.

Several different theories have been proposed to explain this time-honored practice. Some explain that at the time of Matan Torah, we all underwent a “conversion” of sorts, like Rut, a Moavite woman who made the decision to join the Jewish Nation, as we – like Rut – committed ourselves to the Torah’s commands. Another explanation is that Megilat Rut tells a story of beautiful hesed (kindness), of how Rut joined a foreign nation in order to stay with and help her aged, destitute mother-in-law, and of how Boaz, a wealthy man, took care of Rut and ultimately married her. We read this story to remember the crucial role that hesed plays in the life of a Torah Jew.

But there is also another reason, one which goes to the heart of the purpose for which this story was written in the first place.

The sages tell us that the book of Rut was written by the prophet Shemuel, the leader who crowned David as king over Israel, thereby establishing the eternal Davidic dynasty. He recorded the story of Rut in response to the controversy that erupted when David was appointed king. Some scholars challenged not only David’s right to the throne – but the very legitimacy of his membership in the Jewish Nation. The Torah (Devarim 23:4) explicitly forbids marrying a convert from the nation of Moav – seemingly invalidating Boaz’s marriage to Rut. Hence, their son, Oved – who became the grandfather of King David – is the product of an illegitimate union, and thus David himself was, at first glance, similarly illegitimate and unfit to marry a Jewish girl, let alone to serve as king over Israel.

This challenge was rejected based on an interpretive tradition taught by Shemuel himself. This tradition explains that the term Moavi used by the Torah in reference to the prohibition against marrying Moavite converts refers specifically to male converts. The Torah does not forbid marrying a female convert from Moav – and so Boaz’s marriage to Rut was perfectly legitimate.

Shemuel wrote the story of Rut for this very purpose – to affirm the validity of this marriage. Boaz married Rut with the consent and approval of the community of Bet-Lehem, including the rabbinic leadership.  In order to put to rest any questions about David’s family background, Shemuel recorded the story of Rut which confirms the halachic validity of her marriage to Boaz.

This book that Shemuel wrote – known to us as Megilat Rut – contains 85 verses. This number marks the gematria (numerical value) of the word peh (“mouth”) – an allusion to the Torah she’be’al peh, the oral halachic tradition.  Rut’s status vis-à-vis marriage constitutes one of the starkest examples of the power of the Torah she’be’al peh, how the Sages are empowered to interpret and apply the text of the Torah. If all we had was the written text of the Humash, it would have been assumed that all Moavite converts – both male and female – are forbidden for marriage.  It was the Torah she’be’al peh, the system of scholarly analysis, debate and discourse – that allowed Rut to marry Boaz, and thus that allowed King David to emerge.

When we stood at Mount Sinai, Gd did not give us simply a text to follow. He also presented us with a system whereby the great scholars in every generation study and carefully scrutinize this text and the conclusions of their predecessors for the purpose of applying the Torah’s laws for their generation. Strikingly, Gd authorized the sages to reach and act upon conclusions even against the plain meaning of the text, if this is how they understand the words based on the principles of the system of Torah she’be’al peh. And perhaps nowhere was this authority showcased more dramatically than in the story of Rut, a woman from Moav who married a Jewish man with the scholars’ approval.

Moshe’s Extra Day

We can now understand why we celebrate the day before the Torah was given, rather than the day when it was given.

The Gemara relates that on Wednesday, two days before what was to be the day of Matan Torah, Gd instructed Moshe to prepare the people “today and tomorrow” (Shemot 19:10). Moshe interpreted Gd words to mean that the people should prepare for two days starting the next day, such that the Torah would be given not two days later, but three days later.

Astonishingly, Gd accepted Moshe’s interpretation of His words.

Gd had decided to give the Torah on Friday – but Moshe decided, based on his understanding, to delay the event until Shabbat – and Gd consented. He abided, as it were, by Moshe’s interpretation of His command, and gave the people an extra day to prepare.

The Bet Halevi (Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik of Brisk, Lithuania, 1820-1892) explains that Friday – the day nothing happened – is indeed the significant day which is worthy of celebration. This day, when Gd decided not to give the written Torah, marked the giving of the Torah she’be’al peh. It established the authority invested in the sages of Israel – beginning with Moshe Rabbenu – to interpret and apply the Torah, and Gd’s “submission” to their interpretation. Shavuot – the day when nothing happened! – is truly “zeman matan Toratenu” – the day the Torah was given to us as a matanah – a gift.  When a person gives a gift, he relinquishes control over the object. On the day when Gd deferred to Moshe by not giving the Torah, He relinquished control over it, to an extent. He made it clear that He was not merely presenting us a series of laws to follow – but inviting us to become His partners in clarifying and applying the laws.

We might call Shavuot the most eventful non-event in human history. The fact that nothing eventful happened is what made this day so momentous, as it marked the ultimate Matan Torah – the authorization granted to the sages to interpret and apply the Torah’s laws.

Feeling Gd’s Love

This profound truth – that the Almighty willingly deferred to Moshe’s interpretation and granted the sages of every generation the authority to interpret and apply His Torah – reveals the depth of Hashem’s love for His people.

Gd did not want a nation of mere compliant servants who would robotically follow a fixed set of instructions. He desired partners. By “submitting,” as it were, to the understanding of finite human beings, the Creator invited every generation of Jews into an active, living relationship with the Torah. The day nothing “happened” at Sinai is therefore the day everything truly happened: the Torah became ours – not as a distant, unchangeable document, but as a dynamic covenant that breathes through the ongoing partnership between Gd and the Jewish people.

While the power of interpretation is, of course, reserved for great scholars, there is a broader message here for each and every one of us. When we open a page of Gemara, when we ask a halachic question to our rabbi, when we watch the sages throughout history grapple with new realities while remaining faithful to the Torah’s principles – we are witnessing Hashem’s extraordinary love. He trusts us enough to let us participate in the unfolding of His will. He values our sincere effort, our intellectual honesty, and our moral sensitivity. Even when we are not scholars, our commitment to learning, our respect for Torah authority, and our willingness to live by the Torah as understood by the rabbis declare: “Hashem, I accept Your invitation to be Your partner.”

On Shavuot, as we stay up all night learning, as we read and celebrate “zeman matan Toratenu,” let us internalize this beautiful reality. The Torah was not only forced upon us from above; it was lovingly entrusted to us. May we merit to feel this divine love every day of our lives, and may we respond by drawing ever closer to Him through the study and observance of His Torah – written and oral – as true partners in the eternal covenant.