Eddie Esses

For our community and Jewish communities across NYC, the November election comes at a moment unlike any in the past.

The political landscape of New York has shifted dramatically. The Democratic Socialists of America and the broader socialist movement have moved from the political margins into positions of real power, with DSA-backed candidates winning major races and New York’s mayor emerging as one of the country’s most influential political figures. Recent elections have demonstrated that this movement is capable of defeating established Democrats and expanding its influence well beyond the few districts where it traditionally found support. 

For our community, that development sets off a greater alarm than any we’ve ever experienced. Frankly, they DSA put at risk everything we’ve built in Brooklyn over decades. 

The concern is not simply about political labels. It is about what a rapidly changing political establishment means for public safety, anti-Semitism, Israel, policing, taxation, our schools, and the neighborhoods our community has spent generations building.

This November, the campaigns of Sam Sutton for New York State Senate and Joey Saban for New York State Assembly present us our real opportunity to fight back. 

A New Political Reality

The mayor and his allies have promoted a radical vision for New York, one of: sky-high taxes on successful New Yorkers and businesses, a reduced police presence, homeless shelters in our neighborhoods, and a constant targeting of Zionist New Yorkers.

The DSA has continued expanding its political operation, while the mayor has helped elevate DSA-aligned candidates with major victories in this year’s primaries on not just a local but even on a congressional level.  

For our community, this presents an emergency unlike any we’ve ever faced before. The DSA’s radical agenda has already reached our neighborhoods. The question is whether we fight back.  

Anti-Semitism 

Perhaps nowhere are these concerns more immediate than on the issue of anti-Semitism.

Jewish New Yorkers have watched anti-Semitic demonstrations against Israel increasingly target Jewish neighborhoods and places of worship.

That is precisely why Senator Sam Sutton and Chief of Staff Joey Saban made their buffer-zone legislation a top priority.

The legislation ensured that Jewish families and other worshippers could enter their houses of worship without having to confront harassment or intimidation at the doors. It ultimately passed as part of the state’s budget and became the biggest legislative win for Jewish New Yorkers in years.  

Sutton has also secured approximately $20 million in security funding for religious institutions, while helping direct additional millions of dollars toward our community organizations such as SAFE and SBH.  

These accomplishments demonstrate the results of having a strong advocate in Albany. 

Public Safety

Another defining issue is the future of public safety. While the DSA works toward their long-term goal of abolishing the police, Senator Sutton and Saban have fought tooth and nail to support the NYPD and for stronger enforcement against hate crimes in order to protect our community  

Their platform also calls for reforming nonsensical bail policies, opposing homeless shelter placements in our neighborhoods, and ensuring that law-abiding families, not criminals, are the ones protected.

Protecting Our Schools and Institutions

Over the decades, our community has built an extraordinary network of yeshivas, synagogues, and nonprofit institutions. These critical organizations are, too, targets of the DSA, as showcased by their “Not on Our Dime” bill, which seeks to remove nonprofit status of organizations with a connection to Israel. 

Senator Sutton and Saban have made protecting private education and ensuring appropriate funding for yeshivas a foundational part of their work. They are crafting the responding bill to “Not on Our Dime,” which would target institutions with connections to terror organizations such as Hamas and Hezbollah.  

Why Representation Inside Albany Matters

This is perhaps the most important consideration of all.

Senator Sutton and Saban are under the Democratic Party label, which is what makes their presence in Albany all the more critical.  

In Albany the Democrats have a supermajority. The DSA’s influence is growing within that broader ecosystem. Recent victories have demonstrated that socialist-aligned candidates can increasingly shape Democratic politics rather than simply operate on its fringe. 

The question, therefore, is not simply whether someone will criticize these policies.

It is whether there will be strong voices inside the room willing to challenge them.

The Stakes Have Never Been Greater 

The most important lesson of the past several years is that civic engagement matters.

Our community’s increased voter registration and political participation have already produced major results. Greater engagement has given our community a louder voice in Albany and helped produce legislation, security funding, and the allocation of millions of dollars for our institutions.

But political influence cannot be taken for granted.

The DSA is organized, disciplined, and increasingly successful. Its supporters are organizing year-round, knocking on doors seven days a week, and are building major political power. Recent victories show that this strategy is working. 

That means disengagement carries enormous consequences.

The November election will determine what kind of voices represent our community, South Brooklyn, and Jewish New Yorkers at large as New York’s political landscape continues to shift. For community members concerned about anti-Semitism, public safety, education, taxation, and the growing influence of the socialist movement, the moment demands urgent attention.

Get Out and Vote

Our community has spent generations building something extraordinary. The question now is whether we will remain sufficiently engaged to protect it, and ensure that our voice remains impossible to ignore in Albany. Every single community member must get out this election and vote for Sam Sutton for State Senate and for Joey Saban for State Assembly.

Delivering for the Community

Senator Sutton has already established himself as a pragmatic and independent voice within the Senate Democratic Conference. Saban, after serving as Sutton’s Chief of Staff, is seeking to bring that same approach to the Assembly.

The duo would serve as an incredibly powerful team in Albany:

• Standing up against anti-Semitism and protecting Jewish institutions.
• Fighting for stronger hate-crime enforcement.
• Supporting the NYPD and public safety.
• Protecting private education and yeshiva funding.
• Securing additional security funding for religious institutions.
• Bringing millions of dollars to community institutions 
• Opposing policies they believe threaten neighborhood stability and affordability.
• Providing a strong moderate voice against the growing influence of the DSA.

Etan C. Harris remembers the smell of peppermint tea.

It was drifting off his former law professor’s desk the afternoon he walked into her office at Syracuse University College of Law to ask her to move a deadline. He’d smelled it before, two years earlier, when he’d sat in her class as a first-year student and said nothing at all.

That earlier silence is the part of the story Harris doesn’t always tell.

As a 1L, Harris had a writing assignment due that landed across two days of Passover. He didn’t ask for an extension. He didn’t mention it to the professor at all. He finished the work, on time, and moved on. Grades mattered too much that first year to risk complicating things with the person who assigned them.

By his third year, Harris was president of the Jewish Law Student Association, and a group of first-year students came to him with the identical problem: a paper due during Passover, in the same bell-curved class that grades students against each other, under the same professor. Afraid of the consequences, they asked him to raise the prospect of an extension with her.

“I almost said no,” recalls Harris. He had his own grades to think about, and job prospects were riding on the kind of record you don’t put at risk over a scheduling fight for students you barely knew. “But I thought about sitting in that same class two years earlier, just grinding through the shorter deadline without saying a word, and my duty as president of the Jewish Law Student Association. That last part finally pushed me to walk over.”

The door to her office looked more scratched than he remembered. He noticed it for no particular reason. Then he knocked.

The professor said no. She told him she was Jewish and worked on Passover; her students could do the same. When Harris said he’d take the matter to the dean, she told him, in essence, that she was the professor, he the student, and not to forget it.

The dean was sympathetic – and pointed. He may have appreciated Harris’ effort to fight for his lower classmates, or he may simply have been worried about Title VI and the kind of formal trouble a discrimination complaint could bring down on the school. Within days, the assignment’s deadline moved by two weeks. Religious Jewish students got the accommodation they’d asked for; every student in the class got three weeks instead of one.

The professor’s warmth toward Harris cooled after that. He noticed it in private conversations, and once, unmistakably, in a comment she made in front of classmates that he took as aimed squarely at him.

The reaction from the first-year students wasn’t uniform, either. Some — Jewish and not — found him in the cafeteria afterward to thank him. Others said nothing. One of the students who’d benefited from the extension later told Harris he worked on Passover anyway, making it seem as if Harris’ sacrifice was pointless.

From Student Advocate to Candidate

Sixteen years into a law career, Harris is now running for Civil Court judge, with an election set for November 3. He still brings the story up when fairness comes into the conversation. “It’s not proof that principle always wins. It’s more a reminder that you sometimes have to get past your own fear if you want anything around you to change.”

Paid for by Friends of Etan Harris.

Our community mourns the sudden petirah of Hacham Leon Gindi, zt”l, a longtime rav at Shaare Zion and a distinguished talmid hacham, who was niftar at the age of 79 on Shabbat, September 19, 2026. The levayah was held Sunday morning, Erev Yom Kippur, before a standing room only crowd at Magen David Congregation in Brooklyn.

The petirah (passing)_of “Hacham Leon,” as he was reverentially known, occurred just as this issue was being prepared to go to press. Because of the timing, we are able to provide only this brief notice at this time. A fuller tribute to Hacham Leon, zt”l, – honoring his life, his Torah, and his many years of service to our community –– will, with Hashem’s help, appear in the November issue.

For decades, after arriving from Halab, Hacham Leon was a familiar and respected presence at Shaare Zion. He served the congregation as a rav, teaching Torah and providing guidance to his faithful students.

Beyond the position he held, those who knew Hacham Leon remember a man deeply devoted to Torah. His learning was not simply an accomplishment, but the foundation around which he built his life. He continued to learn, teach, and serve the community well into his later years.

There was a poignant significance to the circumstances of his petirah. Hacham remained actively engaged in the life of the community until the very end. He was delivering words of Torah before the congregation at the time of his sudden passing.

His passing, just before Yom Kippur, was particularly painful for the many people who had heard him speak and learned from him over the years. A rav who devoted his life to teaching and guiding others was taken suddenly as the community prepared for the holiest day of the year.

The son-in-law of Hacham Yom Tov Yedid, zt”l, the last Chief Rabbi of Aleppo, Hacham Leon was part of the distinguished rabbinic tradition that has long been a defining feature of our community, in which hachamim have served not only as shul rabbis, but as teachers, poskim, spiritual guides, and pillars of communal life.

He leaves behind his devoted wife, children, grandchildren, and a legacy of commitment to Torah, avodah, and service to the Syrian Jewish community.

We look forward to honoring his memory more fully in the November issue Yehi zichro baruch (may his memory be a blessing).

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi  Ali,

I have a few things that have been bothering me in my marriage, and I’m hoping someone can help. I’m not sure you can, but it’s worth a try. My husband is an over-spender and it really bothers me. He doesn’t ask me or tell me what and when he’s buying things. I open my garage and an expensive bike is there. There are many other things, but I think if I can get him to slow down things would improve. Thank you.

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE:

First, you mention that you’re not sure if I can help. Sometimes people call me with a more extreme statement, such as, “I know you can’t help me, no one can.”  This type of attitude can prevent people from growing in a marriage, if they start out thinking they cannot be helped.

Couples need to understand that counselors who specialize in helping marriages are trained in dealing with relationships. If a couple can’t figure things out on their own it does not mean that there’s nothing that can help. Counselors and therapists can offer many approaches to help couples cope with different situations. Many couples come to my office saying that there’s no hope. Lo and behold, weeks later they tell me that they’re shocked that things have improved.

I want people to view seeking marriage counseling in the same way they view seeking medical help from a cardiologist. Someone with chest pains dials 911 with no hesitation. They wouldn’t dare say, “What’s the doctor going to do already?” This is an extreme example,  but I want people to understand the concept that it is legitimate to  reach out for advice in any area, to knowledgeable professionals.  Whether the challenge is with marriage, parenting, or life in general, seeking help is a step in the right direction. We are blessed with so many wonderful rabbis and professionals. Consult them!

You mention that your husband is an over-spender. We would need to have one-on-one conversation about this because there are so many possibilities of what is going on. Is his overspending putting you in debt? If so, that is a real issue and must be dealt with. Of course, this should not be done in an aggressive manner. Actually, nothing should ever be dealt with aggressively, which would include criticizing, yelling, screaming, or use of force, and surely not giving the silent treatment. 

Some people are big spenders and their spending does not put them into debt. It is common that one spouse does not like to spend while the other does. This is normal. We like to believe that the way we behave is normal and anything else is abnormal. This is a huge mistake. Even though the way you act and think may be different from your spouse, you can both be normal!  

You say your husband does not ask you or tell you in advance what he’s purchasing. This should depend on the situation. I don’t believe husband and wife need to ask permission or need to tell their spouse when making purchases. Of course, there are exceptions that are out of the norm. If someone were to purchase a $500,000 yacht and not mention it to their spouse this would not be advised. While I don’t believe that it’s wrong not to mention it, it would be correct and polite to mention this tremendous purchase to your spouse. 

My point is that if people are spending in a healthy way, in a way that is generally accepted, and their spending is not making a strain on the family’s financial status, leave it alone. It is a good idea, however, for troublesome issues to be  spoken over with a third party. 

By Simha Health

If this school year feels to you like a continuous cycle of starting, stopping, and restarting thanks to an early holiday calendar, you are not alone. Between early September drop-offs and the constant holiday breaks, getting our kids – and ourselves – into a sustainable routine can feel overwhelming.

Isaac Setton, LMHC, clinician coordinator and community liaison of the SIMHA Organization, hosted a valuable discussion with esteemed school psychologists Mrs. Rose Lee Pifko of Magen David Yeshivah, Dr. Nicole Yossef of Yeshivah Prep Elementary School, and Dr. Simone Hidary of Barkai Yeshivah, who shared their expert insights on supporting our children and navigating this critical transition.

Embrace Challenges and Learn from Mistakes

A powerful takeaway was the importance of parents shifting from being “fixers and protectors” to “empowerers.” As Mrs. Rose Lee Pifko noted, allowing children to tackle challenges and even make mistakes is crucial for development.

“The growth zone, just outside their comfort area, is where real learning happens,” Mrs. Pifko explained. When children tolerate discomfort and push through challenges, they build skills like grit and resilience. This means gently nudging them to try new things, whether it’s a new club or a tricky social situation.

The experts highlighted the value of teaching children how to fail. By reframing failure as “just one possible outcome,” parents can alleviate the pressure. Share with your children your own experiences with mistakes and challenges, show empathy, and use these moments as opportunities to teach problem solving. This approach cultivates a crucial life skill: learning from setbacks.

Re-establishing Routine: The Foundation for Success

After summer and the holiday’s relaxed schedule, getting back into routine can feel daunting. Dr. Nicole Yossef provided practical, actionable steps to ease this transition, emphasizing that consistency is key for children of all ages.

Dr. Yossef’s top tips for a smooth gear shift:

Adjust Sleep Schedules: Gradually shift bedtimes and wake-up times earlier (20-30 minutes each day) to reset internal clocks.

Foster Independence: Involve children in choosing outfits the night before and packing healthy snacks. This gives them a feeling of control and helps to streamlines mornings.

Promote Healthy Eating: A balanced diet impacts mood and focus. Involve children in snack preparation for easier healthy choices.

Encourage Physical Activity: Aim for at least 20-60 minutes daily. Walking to school, playing outdoors, or joining a team improves focus and reduces stress.

Manage Screen Time: Set clear boundaries for screen use, explaining these rules are for their well-being. Encourage alternatives, such as reading.

The goal isn’t perfection, but consistent effort. The more regulated parents are, the more children will mirror that behavior.

The Power of Partnership: Home and School as a Unified Front

“When parents and schools work as a unified team, children receive consistent messaging,” Dr. Simone Hidary explained. This reinforces that they are supported and believed in. Parents offer invaluable insights into their child’s personality, while school staff provide expertise in child development and education. This synergy creates an “unbelievable partnership.”

Isaac Setton emphasized that the goal is “school plus parents,” not “school versus parents.” When children see that their parents and the school are on the same page, they receive consistent messages, understand expectations, and recognize that everyone is on their side.

Finally, the experts discussed balancing support with parental boundaries. Dr. Hidary highlighted that effective parenting involves both love and limits. Providing love and support while setting clear boundaries is essential for a child’s self-regulation and success. Children understand that rules are for their best interest, even if they don’t like them.

As the school year sets in, let’s embrace these insights to empower our children and ourselves for a successful, fulfilling, and well-supported experience. By fostering open communication, building strong routines, and strengthening the vital partnership between home and school, we can set our children on a path to thrive.

Tips for a Strong Parent-School Partnership

• Don’t Hesitate to Ask Questions: Reach out to teachers and staff about your concerns.
• Proactive Communication: Early communication can prevent minor issues from escalating.
• Respectful Dialogue: Approach the school with the intention to collaborate.
• Be Persistent: If you don’t hear back immediately, follow up. Advocating for your child is crucial.
• Find Your Connection: Identify a staff member with whom you communicate best.

Victor Cohen

There are families in our community who struggle to put food on the table. It might seem impossible to believe, given the prosperity our community has seen. However, for some, even meeting the most basic of expenses is a challenge.

They just barely get by, unable to afford nice meals for Shabbat and holidays. And they struggle not only to feed their children – but also, heart-wrenchingly, to explain why their family isn’t as comfortable as the one next door, or down the block.

As hard as it might be to believe, even here in our community, which has been blessed with such prosperity, there are people struggling to buy food.

Thankfully, organizations exist to help support those who are in need. One organization has – for over 26 years – assumed the specific responsibility of ensuring that every family, no matter how dire their financial straits, will enjoy large, festive meals every Shabbat and holiday. And now, this organization – Tomchei Shabbat – is reaching out and asking us to help it help the people who need it.

An Empire of Hesed on the Jersey Shore 

The Lakewood-based Tomchei Shabbos organization is a $14-million undertaking, quietly – without much fanfare or publicity – supporting over 2,400 families at different levels, depending on each family’s specific financial needs. They have a warehouse for the weekly/monthly deliveries, whatever the family requires. They also include special packages for the holidays. Lines extend out into the highway consisting of people – including some from our community – waiting for food to give their families.

What sets Tomchei Shabbat apart from other organizations is that they directly provide food, rather than distribute funds. Tomchei Shabbat leverages both their infrastructure and location to provide the most food that they can at minimal cost to them. They work efficiently to get the most for every dollar they raise, and they keep everything quiet to preserve the dignity of their beneficiaries. For 26 years, this special organization has – under the guidance of numerous prominent rabbis of our community – helped struggling families enjoy Shabbat and holidays the way these occasions are meant to be enjoyed.

Tomchei Shabbat’s involvement in our community began when Rabbi Bension Kaye saw the unfortunate need, and would deliver Pesach meals to 35 families before the holiday. Unfortunately, the number of families in need grew over time. Tomchei Shabbat would always be there to help pick them up.

There was a shift around Pesach last year, in 2025. The families in need kept growing. After discussions involving Rabbi Kaye and the other rabbis of the Jersey Shore, a new Sephardic division of Tomchei Shabbat was established. Abe Tawil was appointed Director of Development, and Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore was born.

The Jersey Shore division hit the ground running, running weekly fundraisers, actively reaching out to donors, and building partnerships throughout the community. Baruch Hashem, thanks to the many generous donors and to the selfless volunteers, over 150 families received the assistance they needed.

Local schools also joined the effort, with students participating in packing food boxes destined for families throughout our community, thereby expanding this initiative into a large-scale educational workshop on true hesed.

The enthusiastic response to the new project showed yet again something that we’ve all known for a long time – when our community is made aware of a genuine need, people step forward to help.

The Highest Form of Tzedakah 

“When we help others welcome the Shabbat, we’re welcoming blessing and peace into our homes,” says committee member Hymie Dana. “Supporting Tomchei Shabbat is definitely a source of blessing for our homes.”

“Helping to feed those in need is one of the biggest mitzvot,” Ricky Esses, who is heavily involved with Tomchei Shabbat, added, “but giving a sense of joy and hope to these families on Shabbat and holidays is the greatest mitzvah. We must continue taking care of our community, and we must first start with those most in need. Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore does that.”

The new division’s work quickly earned the support of numerous community rabbis.

Rabbi Shaul Kassin said, “Tomchei Shabbat gives a tremendous amount of relief to these families who cannot imagine what they are going to do for Shabbat.”

“There are families in our community that live down the block from you and me who can’t look forward to Friday night,” Rabbi Joey Haber said. “Tomchei Shabbat will ensure that every family in Deal is able to have the gift that all of us have.”

“There are families who, unfortunately, don’t know what they’re going to do this coming weekend,” Rabbi Joseph Dana said. “What am I going to do to put chicken, wine, and challah on the table?”

Rabbi Moshe Douek added, “I personally know many people who are so relieved once they receive the boxes from Tomchei Shabbat, like a huge stress is taken off their head.”

“It is imperative for us to support Tomchei Shabbat because they support our community,” Rabbi Eli Mansour said. “Tomchei Shabbat embodies the highest form of tzedakah,” Rabbi Avi Harari enthused, “Giving with such discretion and dignity that families can rebuild their lives without shame, knowing their community stands behind them in their time of need.”

Rabbi Reuven Semah describes Tomchei Shabbat as “an organization that provides vital assistance to the families in need in our Jersey Shore community,” emphasizing in particular “their food distributions during holiday times when expenses are high.” The rabbi implores community members to donate generously to this important cause.

A Nuclear Power Plant of Hesed 

Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shores’ annual event was graciously hosted this past summer at the home of Ricky and Monique Chera, whose son, Stanley R. Chera, is very involved in the organization.

It was a beautiful gathering that brought together community leaders, Rabbanim, donors and supporters from across the Jersey Shore – all united around one common mission: making sure that no family in our community goes without the basic necessities for Shabbat and Yom Tov.

Stanley opened by thanking Hashem for giving him the opportunity to help out with this organization. “This organization is not something we should ever take lightly,” he said. He thanked everybody for coming, thanked his parents for hosting, and introduced Abe Tawil to speak.

The next speaker was Abe Tawil, who expressed his appreciation for Stanley’s dedication to this endeavor and for all his behind-the-scenes efforts on behalf of Tomchei Shabbat. Abe also thanked the community’s rabbis for their leadership and for helping struggling families throughout the Jersey Shore.

Shmuel Kairy spoke next, and he shared an emotional personal story.

“When I was in Israel for my son’s bar mitzvah, I was in a yeshiva called Yakirei Yerushalayim, led by Rabbi Yehuda Cohen. I saw some boys wearing disheveled clothes, and I told the rabbi that it’s not kavod haberiyot [human dignity] for boys to walk around like this, with ripped clothes. I took money out of my pocket and asked the rabbi to get this money to the parents. The rabbi took a moment and then replied, ‘I need to tell you really what kind of aniyut [poverty] they suffer.’

“He pointed at a boy and said, ‘See that boy? He came to school last month with a 103 fever. I asked him why he came to school when he was so sick, why his mother would send him to school with a 103 fever. He said, ‘My mother forced me to stay home. But I told her, if I don’t go to school, I don’t eat for the day. I was starving. The only meal I get a day is in school. I have to go eat. I’ll come home after I eat.’ And so, the boy left with a 103 fever to go to school to eat. I personally walked him home, and I saw there was nothing in the house. There are people out there that have real needs.’”

Shmuel then related that a certain Rosh Kollel told him of a sign that one of the avrechim (married students] hung up in the Kollel. It read: Does anybody want to split a chicken with me for Shabbat? I can’t afford to pay for a whole one.

“There are stories like that out there,” Shmuel said. “Tomchei Shabbat makes sure that we don’t hear those stories. They are prepared and they are geared up and they are mobilized to make sure that the people have what they need. We are fortunate that we are able to support this organization. We are living in a nuclear power plant of hesed. We do so much hesed in this community.”

Rabbi Shlomo Diamond spoke next, noting that there is a “tremendous need” in the community for this kind of work. “Although you might not think there’s a need,” Rabbi Diamond said, “there really is such a need. There’s a segment of people in our community who really have problems putting food on the table.”

Rabbi Diamond then expressed his gratitude to Stanley and his parents for hosting the event, recalling his close relationship with Stanley’s grandfather, Stanley Chera, a”h. “I grew up with him, we were friends all the years,” he fondly reminisced. “And although we went in different ways, we went and grew in the community.”

The next speaker, Rabbi David Haber, said that while although some things in life are debatable, there are some that are not up for discussion. One of those things is a teaching in the work Pele Yoetz: “Every person is commanded to treat their fellow man like his own body part.”

Why, the rabbi asked, does the Pele Yoetz use this particular comparison – to a part of one’s own body? Why did he not urge us treat our fellow as a friend or family member?

Rabbi Haber explained that when we feel very hungry, we don’t say that we “want” to eat, but rather that we “need” to eat. This isn’t something we want to do – like wanting to go to a certain place for vacation, or wanting to live in a certain kind of home. Food is something we absolutely must have when we’re hungry.

Some people think that food isn’t as much of an issue as others. “Food? What are you talking about? Food isn’t a real problem! That’s not an issue for us.” Rabbi Haber says that this is a mistake. “Every Rabbi here can tell you that they know somebody who receives food from Tomchei Shabbat. They have names. They have spouses. They have children. They will probably sit next to you in shul. Over 150 families in our community use Tomchei Shabbat.”

Harry Adjmi closed the day by speaking about the amount of good the organization has done. Mr. Adjmi helped fundraise for Tomchei Shabbat, as well.

Tomchei Shabbat continues to do more, for now and the future. The demand for it has not gone away, but has increased, instead. People come to Tomchei Shabbat at their lowest, and it’s up to Tomchei Shabbat to help give these families the support that they need to get back on their feet.

Whatever it is – whether a parent passes away, or the father loses his job, Tomchei Shabat is there to pick people up and help them rise once again, granting them much-needed dignity and discretion while doing so. It is a beautiful organization, and B”H, Tomchei Shabbat of the Jersey Shore will have the means to aid anybody who calls on them for help.

Ellen Geller Kamaras

“One of the most rewarding aspects of my work is seeing the client’s progress happen outside of the therapy room. I love when a client comes back and tells me, ‘I thought about what you would say’ or ‘I heard your voice in my head when I was dealing with that.’ That’s when I know therapy is becoming something the person can carry with them into their everyday life.”  ~ Adele ~

Please meet Adele Salem, a wife, mom, and licensed clinical social worker. Adele is the founder of her own private therapy practice and is a therapist at Sephardic Bikur Holim of Brooklyn.

Let’s hear about Adele’s life story and her approach and vision for helping her clients and for having a meaningful life. Here in Voices of Vision our community women reveal what drives them to be the best version of themselves. Adele joins an esteemed group of community women here.

Adele’s friendliness and openness was apparent from the start.

Roots and Education

Adele feels blessed to have been born into a warm family that has been strongly connected to the community for generations. She grew up in Deal and is the youngest of four children. Adele earned her Bachelor of Science in Social Work at Rutgers University and went on to complete her Master of Social Work  at New York University.

Adele was an outgoing and adventurous child with many interests.

Academically, Adele preferred her science and Judaic studies classes to math and history. “I have always loved animals, especially dogs. I’ve never shied away from an adventure. Believe it or not, I have gone skydiving and cage shark diving!”

Family members and friends describe Adele as hardworking, ambitious, curious, and adventurous. She is also creative, warm, calm, poised, passionate, and self-aware.

Marriage and Family

Adele met her naseeb, Max, through deep family ties. “Our families have been very connected for multiple generations, but we had never met!” The couple lived in Brooklyn when they were first married and recently moved to Deal. They have one daughter.

Role Models

Adele’s parents have incredibly influenced  her and grounded her in the values she carries into both her personal and professional life. “I also have an aunt who is a therapist. Having a family member who understood this profession gave me an early window into the work and the impact it can have.”

Career Path and Passions

Adele began to explore her interest in working with people and animals at Rutgers. She loves animals and her dream was to become a veterinarian.  Struggling through chemistry classes made her realize that she would not make it through veterinary school. Adele had also briefly shadowed a vet and saw that her fear of needles was a big obstacle. She has since put her own therapeutic techniques to work on herself!

Adele started to google different careers that combined her interest in dogs and animal behavior with her interest in human behavior and the human-animal bond. “When I discovered Animal Assisted Therapy, it was one of those moments where everything clicked.” Adele pursued her bachelor’s in social work and worked with an Applied Behavior Analysis therapist during the pandemic. Working with autistic children in a masked kindergarten setting was challenging.

When Adele’s dog, Rosie, entered Adele’s life, the plan was for the two to work together. “We’ve been a team since then!” For clients who love dogs, Rosie joins Adele’s in-person sessions as a calming, comforting presence.

Adele went for her MSW because she wanted to pursue clinical work and was drawn to NYU’s strong clinical training and reputation. While studying for her masters, Adele completed an internship at SBH Counseling Center. After graduating, she was thrilled to be offered a position at SBH and has remained there throughout her clinical career.

Adele works with clients experiencing a variety of difficulties including anxiety, life transitions, relationship challenges, self-esteem issues, trauma, grief, and specific phobias, including fear of dogs. Her approach is collaborative and flexible, and is tailored to each client’s individual needs. Adele integrates evidence-based strategies with insight-oriented work to help clients better understand themselves while building practical coping skills.

Recently, Adele launched her own private practice, where she offers individual therapy. Her practice’s tagline, “Compassionate Therapy for Lasting Change,” captures what she hopes every client will experience. Adele thrives on seeing her clients progress outside of the therapy room and integrate what they learned in therapy into their daily lives.

In addition to working with children and adults, Adele practices Canine Assisted Therapy.  Partnering with her therapy dog, Rosie, Adele has helped many clients overcome their fear of dogs. CAT is a fast-growing form of therapy, which is recognized for its benefits in enhancing emotional well-being, reducing stress, and improving social interactions. CAT can be effective in  hospital or rehabilitation settings, clinical settings, and in schools. It has proven successful in helping children with learning disabilities or emotional challenges, and also has shown to work with seniors.

Achievements and Challenges

One of Adele’s proudest professional accomplishments is creating Unleashing Confidence, a group focused on helping people overcome their fear of dogs through therapeutic exposure, education about dog behavior and body language, and the use of learned coping skills. “What makes it especially meaningful to me is seeing the transformation that can happen. I’ve worked with people who used to run across the street to avoid a dog and have seen them reach a point where they’re comfortable around dogs, approaching them, and even petting them! There’s something incredibly rewarding about watching someone realize that a fear that once felt so limiting doesn’t have to control their life.”

Earlier in her career, Adele was very focused on work and strove to always be available. Over time, she learned that being dedicated to one’s job does not mean being available every minute of the day. “Learning boundaries has made me a better professional and allowed me to be more present in the rest of my life.”

When asked what contributes to her success Adele responded, “For me, success is less about reaching a particular title or milestone and more about doing meaningful work, continuing to grow, and building a life that feels fulfilling. I think staying curious, being willing to learn, and being persistent have helped me get where I am.”

Balancing Work with Motherhood

Adele is intentional about balancing her professional life with motherhood and protecting time to be fully present with her daughter.

“Even though our child is a baby, I think a lot about the foundation we’re creating for her. One thing motherhood has reinforced for me is how powerful our words are in shaping the way children see themselves and how much our words shape a child’s developing sense of self. I’m intentional about creating a compassionate and gentle home while still teaching boundaries and independence.”

To unwind, Adele enjoys reading, spending time with her family, hanging out and having a good laugh with her friends, cooking, and baking. “I love getting creative and trying new recipes.”

Community has always been integral to Adele’s life. She feels very fortunate to have grown up with a strong sense of family and community and she values the way people show up for one another. Adele wisely clarifies, “Everyone’s experience within a community is unique. To me, a strong community is one where there is room for different experiences and where people feel seen, supported, and included.”

Through her work as a therapist at SBH Counseling Center, Adele has had a positive impact on the mental health of our community’s individuals, families, and schools. “Mental health and supporting the community are meaningful to me and I’m grateful to be able to contribute professionally.”

What’s Next?

Adele is excited to be opening an office close to home. “I’m eager to create a warm, comfortable space where clients can feel at ease. I’m looking forward to having Rosie back in the therapeutic setting with me and incorporating AAT into my practice.”

Check out Adele’s website, www.adelesalemlcsw.com.  Contact her through her website, call 732-508-0544, or email at [email protected].

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. Ellen can be contacted at [email protected] (http://www.lifecoachellen.com).

Linda Argalgi Sadacka

New York has spent years building an extensive language around diversity, inclusion, discrimination, harassment, stereotyping, and bias. The principle behind that effort is a worthy one: all people should be treated with dignity. Words matter, assumptions matter, and the atmosphere we create around other people matters.

No one should be humiliated because of race, religion, background, or disability. No one should be made to feel that there is something inherently wrong with who he is. No one should have to calculate whether revealing a part of his identity will make him less welcome in the room.

But there is a question New York needs to confront honestly. Where do Jews fit into the conversation?

It is an especially urgent question now because anti-Semitism in New York is no longer something abstract.

A Look at the Numbers and Beyond

In 2025, the Anti-Defamation League recorded 6,274 anti-Semitic incidents across the United States – more than 17 every day. New York recorded more incidents than any other state. Anti-Semitic assaults here reached a record high, with the overwhelming majority occurring in New York City. Visibly Orthodox Jews, recognizable simply by walking down the street, have been particularly exposed.

But numbers can become strangely easy to absorb. Six thousand becomes a statistic. Ninety assaults becomes a line in a report. What gets lost is the human beings underneath the numbers.

A Jewish man should be able to ride the subway without wondering whether the kippah on his head makes him a target. A mother should be able to walk her children to shul without scanning the street first. A family walking home from synagogue down Kings Highway on Shabbat should be thinking about Shabbat lunch, not about whether being visibly Jewish makes them vulnerable. An elderly Jew should be able to enter a synagogue without passing protesters who have decided that a house of worship is an acceptable place to protest objections to the government of Israel. A parent should be able to send a child to yeshivah without thinking about armed guards and security doors simply because the building houses Jewish students. And a Jewish child should not become less worthy of compassion because somebody associates that child with Zionism.

Conditional Compassion

After October 7th, one of the most haunting examples of what had changed was exhibited with the tearing down of hostage posters. After Israelis were kidnapped from their homes and from the Nova Festival, posters bearing the faces of hostages appeared across American cities and campuses. They were not political manifestos – they were photographs asking people to remember that real people had been taken captive.

And people tore them down…

Think about what that requires emotionally. Before someone can rip the photograph of a hostage, especially of aa child, from a wall, that child has somehow stopped being merely a child. The face has been transformed into a political statement. The suffering has been assigned an ideology. Compassion has become conditional.

That is troubling. Anti-Semitism does not become acceptable overnight. It becomes acceptable when Jewish pain is repeatedly qualified, when Jewish fear is treated as political, when Jewish victims are asked what they believe about Israel before anyone decides whether they deserve sympathy. By the time someone is screamed at on a subway or blocked from entering a synagogue, the moral groundwork has often already been laid.

An Atmosphere of Hatred

Hatred does not begin only with the person who raises a fist. It begins with the atmosphere that makes the fist easier to excuse – when one group’s fear immediately produces sympathy while another group’s fear is questioned or justified away, and when we stop seeing individuals and start seeing symbols.

Increasingly, Jews are being treated not simply as Jews, but as representatives of something larger. A Jewish student becomes responsible for Israel. An Orthodox man becomes a symbol of Zionism because he is wearing a kippah. A synagogue becomes a political target. A child wearing a Star of David can find himself carrying the weight of an international conflict he did not create and could not control.

Once that atmosphere takes hold, harassment becomes easier to dismiss, intimidation becomes easier to rationalize, and even physical violence risks becoming part of the background noise.

State Involvement

State leaders, including NY Governor Kathy Hochul, have acknowledged the seriousness of anti-Semitism and have directed resources toward protecting Jewish institutions. Those measures matter – security grants, law enforcement, protection for synagogues and schools all matter enormously. But physical security addresses hatred after it has already become dangerous. A police officer can protect the entrance to a synagogue. A security grant can reinforce a school door. Neither can, by itself, change the atmosphere that made that protection necessary.

That work begins earlier – in classrooms, workplaces, universities, and government institutions; in the language we use about Jews and the assumptions we allow to go unchallenged; and in the education state agencies use to teach people what prejudice looks like in the first place.

This is not a critique of the people working in state government, many of whom I have had the privilege of working alongside, and whose commitment to this work I don’t doubt for a moment. It is a critique of a curriculum – one I encountered firsthand.

Discrimination and Harassment Training

Like many people who work in and around state government and its affiliated organizations, I completed the state’s discrimination and harassment training as part of my onboarding [onboarding is the structured process of integrating a new employee into an organization], and I found it deeply troubling. But not because of the people around me. What troubled me was the training itself.

Real care had clearly gone into making other groups feel seen: there were scenarios built around new and breastfeeding mothers, around employees with progressive political views, around someone being bullied for simply being different. That effort is worth acknowledging. But nowhere, not once, was there a scenario built around a Jewish employee, an Orthodox co-worker, or anti-Semitic harassment of any kind – despite the fact that, by the numbers, Jews are experiencing far more hate-motivated targeting in this state than any other group.

If the training could take the time to build out those other scenarios with such specificity, the absence of one for the community bearing the sharpest brunt of hate crime in New York is not an oversight that is easy to explain away.

The Department of Labor and Division of Human Rights are responsible for this training. Much of it is genuinely valuable: it teaches people to recognize prejudice, to understand how stereotypes shape treatment, to notice that someone in the room may be experiencing an interaction very differently than everyone else.

Post-October 7th

But it raises a larger question. In post-October-7 New York, is that training teaching people to recognize what anti-Semitism actually looks like now?

A closer look at the Department of Labor’s own model training confirms the gap. Every one of its six illustrative case studies concerns gender-based conduct – none touch religion, ethnicity, or national origin, though all three sit alongside gender on the training’s own list of protected characteristics. That is not a matter of law; the law already protects religious New Yorkers. It is a matter of what people are actually trained to notice. And when the state’s data shows New York recording more anti-Semitic incidents than any other state in the country, a curriculum that never once asks an employee to recognize religious hostility in practice is not neutral. It has simply not caught up to what is happening on the ground.

The training video makes a visible effort at representation – the employees depicted include a range of ethnicities and backgrounds, including someone who appears Muslim. But no one in a kippah appears. No modestly-dressed or visibly religious woman appears. Religious New Yorkers are not represented at all. For a workforce being trained on what vulnerability and prejudice look like, the curriculum designers chose to make several communities visible and left the community currently absorbing the sharpest rise in hate-motivated incidents in the state unseen.

The Commission of Omission

Contemporary anti-Semitism does not always arrive announcing itself as hatred of Jews. Sometimes it calls the Jew a Zionist instead. Sometimes it assigns collective responsibility to Jews for Israel. Sometimes it treats a synagogue as though it were an embassy. And sometimes it operates through something far quieter: omission. The state has developed a sophisticated vocabulary for identifying which people might feel marginalized – but Jews can still seem strangely absent from that framework even while they are being harassed and physically attacked at alarming rates.

That absence matters. Not because Jews should be placed above anyone else, and certainly not because Muslims, people with disabilities, or other minorities deserve less attention. They do not. The point is the opposite: if inclusion is a universal principle, Jews should not require an exception.

Jews – Successful but Still Vulnerable

Jewish communities also complicate simplistic ideas about what vulnerability looks like. A Jewish family can own a successful business and still fear anti-Semitism. A community can build schools, synagogues, and institutions and still require guards outside those buildings. Success does not cancel vulnerability. Achievement does not erase prejudice. Yet, too often Jewish success becomes part of the reason Jewish suffering is discounted – Jews are perceived as powerful, so hatred towards them gets treated as punching up [punching up means to criticize, joke about, or target someone who has more power, authority, or higher social status than you do]. Hatred is associated with Israel, so hostility toward individual Jews gets rationalized as political expression.

But the human being does not disappear because somebody has attached a political theory to him. A Jewish child on a hostage poster is still a child. A Jewish woman screamed at on the street is still a woman deserving to be treated with dignity. An elderly man trying to get into shul is still an elderly man trying to pray. None of that becomes less serious because someone has decided Jews are powerful.

Inclusion Training Needs an Upgrade

The Department of Labor and Division of Human Rights should take a serious look at whether this training reflects the world New Yorkers are actually living in after October 7. Where religious discrimination is taught, anti-Semitism should certainly be included. Show a rabbi. Show an Orthodox employee. Include a Jewish student. Build a scenario involving anti-Semitic harassment. Explain that an individual Jew should not be presumed responsible for Israel merely because he is Jewish – that opposition to Israeli policy does not give anyone permission to target Jewish classmates, coworkers, synagogues, or neighborhoods. Explain that a kippah, a sheitel, tzitzit, or a Star of David does not turn a human being into a political symbol. And explain that anti-Semitism can appear in language that does not initially sound like the anti-Semitism people learned about in history class.

This is not asking for special treatment. It is asking for relevance. State law already requires this training to be reviewed and revised every four years. That review is a built-in opportunity, not a new demand – a chance for the Department of Labor and Division of Human Rights to update the conversation the next time this training comes up for its scheduled revision, at a moment when one of the state’s largest and most visible minority communities is experiencing a dramatic rise in hostility.

The Goal

The goal is not to police every word anyone says. We do not want a society in which people are afraid to debate Israel, criticize politicians, or express strong opinions – political disagreement is necessary in a free country. The goal is simpler: teach the distinction between political disagreement and collective blame. Teach people to recognize when criticism of a government has crossed into hostility toward a people. Teach that Jewish identity does not erase individuality, and that Jewish suffering does not require a political litmus test before it deserves compassion.

Because that is ultimately what this is about. Humanity.

The mother walking her children to shul is not a geopolitical argument. The boy wearing a kippah on the subway is not the Israeli government. The elderly man entering a synagogue is not a military policy. They are people. And perhaps the most dangerous thing anti-Semitism does is to persuade society to forget that before it does anything else.

The real test of inclusion is not how carefully we protect the dignity of people everyone has already agreed are vulnerable. The test comes when the victim complicates our categories – when the minority is successful, when the person targeted is associated with a country or cause someone dislikes, when the individual standing before us does not fit neatly into our preferred understanding of oppressed and privileged. That is when universal principles either remain universal or reveal themselves to be selective.

New York already knows how to speak the language of inclusion. Now that language has to catch up with the reality Jewish New Yorkers are living. Update the training. Include Jews. Teach people to recognize the anti-Semitism that exists now, not only the anti-Semitism of the past – not because Jews deserve more empathy than anyone else, but because they should not have to prove they deserve empathy at all.

The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of any organization, employer, or entity with which she is affiliated.