A number of years ago here in Deal, New Jersey a woman approached Rabbi Diamond to have Kaddish recited on behalf of her father. Rabbi Aboud, who had taken upon himself the sacred task of reciting Kaddish for those who cannot, was given the name to recite for Kaddish. A few weeks later the woman came back to Rabbi Diamond worried, as she had a dream in which her father came to her complaining, “Why is no one reciting Kaddish for me?” Rabbi Diamond asked Rabbi Aboud if the name was entered into his list, to which he replied yes. However, upon closer examination, it turned out that the name was inverted – instead of Shemuel ben Hannah, it was written as Hannah bat Shemuel.  

The importance and reality of reciting Kaddish cannot be overstated. With that in mind, we have outlined many points to understand and appreciate the Kaddish, greatly enhancing its meaning and focus to fulfill our ultimate goal of Kiddush Hashem. 

What is the earliest source of Kaddish?  

We find in the gemara that “one who recites Yehe Sheme Rabba” with all of his might/concentration, can reverse a lifetime decree. Yet we find an earlier source taught in Targum Yerushalmi. When Yaakov Avinu gathered his children around his bed and wanted to share with them the time of the arrival of Mashiach, the prophecy was hidden from him. Yaakov Avinu expressed his concern that just as his grandfather and father had a wayward child, perhaps one of his children – although externally they seemed all devout – internally may be wayward, thereby causing the prophecy of Mashiach to be hidden. They all in unison responded, “Shema (listen) – Yisrael, Hashem Elokenu, Hashem Ehad.” To that, Yaakov answered, “Baruch Shem Kvod Malchuto…” which in Aramaic Targum is stated as “Yehe Shemeh Rabba…”  

Why is Kaddish such an important prayer for the deceased? 

The life mission of a person can be encapsulated as personifying Kiddush Hashem. When a person passes away there is a void in which that person cannot sanctify the Name of Hashem amongst the living. We therefore fill in for that person, in their merit, prayers that are of the utmost declaration of Sanctification of Hashem.  

Additionally, if that person while in this world did not fully achieve Sanctification of the Name of Hashem, and/or perhaps that person’s soul requires a period of purging, the Kaddish directly elevates the soul of that person.  

There is an added significance when Kaddish is recited by the child of the deceased, as the child perpetuates the memory of his parent by coming to sanctify the Name of Hashem, and creates the most powerful Kiddush Hashem of the parent although the parent is deceased. 

When do we say “Al Yisrael” and when “Yehe Shelama”? 

When words of Written Torah of Tanach are recited, such as after the recitation of Tehillim, or after Shir shel yom, Kaddish Yehe Shelama is recited. The extra blessings of Yehe Shelama refer to life, satiation, salvation, comforting, healing, etc. in the merit of the Torah read.  

“Al Yisrael” is recited after the study of Oral Torah, which is taught and transmitted by our Rabbis. For example, after a class on Torah or after the last segment of Shaharit that has teachings of gemara and teachings of Eliyahu Hanavi. The extra blessings relate to sustaining all who study and dedicate their life to Torah and specifically the Rabbis and students of Torah, who transmit the Oral Torah, to merit charm, kindness, and mercy from Hashem. 

Why do we need a minyan to recite Kaddish? 

Parts of our prayer require ten men, whereas other parts one recites while praying even alone. This is determined whether it is of the status of “Kedusha” i.e. “davar shebikdusha” such as Barechu, Nakdishach, Vaya’avor, etc. Reciting Kaddish is a “davar she’bikdusha” as its essence is the public glorification and sanctification of the Name of Hashem. 

When reciting Kaddish, the minyan needs to be present for what precedes the Kaddish that it is being said upon. For example, if the congregation recited Ashre before there was a minyan and then a minyan arrived, at least the last few pesukim should be recited out loud with the minyan present and then the Kaddish can be recited. Or when calling in someone to complete a minyan after a class, at least Ribbi Hanania should be recited with all ten present.  

Why do we keep our feet together? 

The essence of Kaddish is highlighted by “Yehe Shemeh Rabba…” which as stated translates as, “Baruch Shem K’vod Malchuto L’olam Va’ed.” This, as we know, is a proclamation ascribed to the angels, as we recite “Baruch Shem…” in an undertone by Shema, and only out loud on Yom Kippur when we are in an angelic state. Therefore, as angels are described as being with “one straight foot” we keep our feet together, as we do during the Amidah. 

Why is Kaddish in Aramaic? 

As stated previously, the essence of the Kaddish “Yehe Sheme Rabba…” is a proclamation ascribed to the angels. So just as when we state “Baruch Shem…” we recite it in an undertone so as not to provoke the angels, when they see mere human beings reciting such a lofty praise. In a similar way we recite Kaddish in Aramaic, which is a language not understood by the angels. 

Do I need to sit or stand during Kaddish? 

The one reciting Kaddish stands, as stated, with their feet together, just like when praying the Amidah. In a similar vein, some say the one saying Kaddish should also face eastward as praise of Hashem is akin to prayer.  

The ones listening do not need to stand for Kaddish if they were already sitting (according to Sefaradim and some Ashkenazim). If they were standing when Kaddish started, they should stand until after reciting “Yehe Sheme Rabbah…” or until the end of the Hatsi Kaddish. Hacham Ovadia, zt’l, writes that one should not jump to sit if it is immediately before a Kaddish, as this shows a level of disrespect for Kaddish. 

When does the one reciting Kaddish bow? 

There are five points in the Kaddish where one should bow. According to some they are when saying the words yitgadal, yehe sheme rabba, yitbarach, berich hu, and at the last amen after da’amiran be’almah. (Thus, one is bowing at the beginning and the end of Kaddish and at the beginning and end of “Yehe Sheme Rabba….”) Others say one should bow at the end of each stanza of the Hatsi Kaddish when the congregation answers amen. 

When do we take three steps back after Kaddish? 

Many have the custom of taking three steps back at the end of every full Kaddish, and then bowing to the left, right, and center when saying “Oseh Shalom…” similar to the end of the Amidah. According to some opinions, only the hazan, when reciting kaddish Titkabal, takes three steps back as this is actually the end of his Amidah, but for a regular Kaddish, the three steps back at the end are not necessary. 

In Conclusion 

Kaddish is a life-changing prayer. We should appreciate every opportunity to answer, recite, and even listen to Kaddish with utmost concentration. 

All spaceship prototypes over the past many decades have always consisted of a main capsule accompanied by auxiliary boosters and fuel storage tanks. This enables the rocket to launch, break through the atmosphere and stratosphere, and then continue on its own to the farthest ends of the galaxy. The initial thrust creating millions of pounds of pressure requires much fuel and energy to be expended. The soul is like the capsule directed to reach the highest heights of Heaven. However, the soul requires auxiliary boosters to lift it. It is through every misvah, and especially the Kaddish that is recited for the soul, that lifts the soul higher and higher to its greatest heights in Heaven.  

Rebecca Cohen-Sakkal 

The SBH Florence & Isaac Chera, a”h, Medical Division has marked a milestone with the groundbreaking SBH Medical Network launch on December 12th. Over 200 healthcare professionals gathered at Club 100 to celebrate this innovative platform to enhance collaboration and communication within the healthcare community.  

The event began with the Hakarat Ha’Tov Award presented to several members of the SCA, whose work during the COVID-19 pandemic led to the creation of the SBH Medical Network. Jack D. Hidary then led the keynote address, delving into the profound implications of artificial intelligence in healthcare.  

SBH Medical Director Etan Walls introduced the Medical Network to the attendees. The attendees were given the opportunity to network, as well as the rising medical professionals, who were able to get career insight from the doctors. 

What Does the SBH Medical Network Do? 

Since its inception almost 50 years ago, SBH has always carried the values of giving back to our community. Its early roots trace back to hospital visits; SBH has grown exponentially into its current organization. As an organization that was “built on two things: taking care of the medical needs of the community and volunteers,” best said by Chief Advancement Officer Charles Anteby, SBH has never lost sight of that vision as it continues to hold to those values. 

As the community’s needs grew, so did SBH and its Medical Division. The SBH Medical team works diligently to embody the SBH values in many directions. Ami Sasson, SBH Medical Division committee member, said, “SBH Medical is a resource for everyone, ranging from a simple pediatrician visit to complex diagnoses…they truly are here to help and ‘hold our hands.’”  

The division’s broad range of services includes everything from medical referrals and screenings to educational and career initiatives for all ages within the community. During the summer of 2023, they hosted From Aspiring to Admitted for rising medical professionals. The division also co-hosted A Day of Women’s Health with DSN, attended by over 500 community women of all ages.  

While SBH’s attention to detail regarding the community’s health never wavered, a key piece was missing when it came to supporting and connecting our community’s healthcare providers. Following this need, the SBH Medical Network was born, through which they hope to embody those same values of giving back, only this time to those who are typically on the giving end: our healthcare providers.  

The idea was born during the pandemic when the SCA “spontaneously filled a void” for all community healthcare providers, described by Dr. Victor Grazi, Chair of the SBH Medical Division. The organization invested its efforts into organizing the community’s providers virtually over WhatsApp, allowing them to collaborate their efforts and minds into a “litany of resources” during such a difficult time. This crucial resource, a collaborative healthcare network, found its needs growing as COVID-19 restrictions were lifted.  

Under the guidance of SBH Medical Network Chair Dr. Victor Grazi, a vision was born – one where community providers, including doctors, dentists, PAs, and nurses, have a place to turn for mentoring, career growth, development, and networking. By building an infrastructure such as this within the community, we are to give back to the providers who made it their life’s work to serve us. 

Aside from the impressive number of established professionals in the medical field already, SBH estimates that at least 200 community members are pursuing careers in healthcare. The SBH Medical Network will provide extensive networking opportunities and a program that will grow alongside our community’s young adults on their career journeys.  

With an extra focus on our young adults, SBH can adequately support our future healthcare professionals, said Jen Maleh-Mizrahi, medical student and member of the SBH Medical Network and Young Adult committee.  

With education as the cornerstone of the Network’s agenda, they hope to provide quarterly symposiums for community providers to gather to learn and share tips, tricks, and resources. Networking within the SBH Medical Network will additionally benefit healthcare professionals with long-lasting provider-provider relationships and young adult mentorship opportunities within the SBH Medical Network. With the establishment and growth of the Network, SBH Medical aims to empower community professionals to reach new heights, just as SBH did almost 50 years ago.  

To reach the SBH Medical Division, call or text 718-787-0077, or email medical@sbhonline.org. 

SBH is proud to celebrate our Golden Anniversary! 50 years ago, in 1974, a small group of community members worked together to launch what eventually became the SBH we know today. Over the next twelve months, we’ll feature each of SBH’s 12 divisions in community publications, our @sbh_updates Instagram page, our email, and our magazine. Keep an eye out to learn more about the organization, and join us in celebrating this momentous moment in our history. 

Rebecca is SBH Medical’s events and social media coordinator, chair of the SBH Medical YA Committee, medical assistant, phlebotomist and a prospective PA student. 

It’s no secret that vacation travel can be stressful. Especially when the hustle and bustle of winter vacation travel starts, people can become more distressed, with long waits and unexpected challenges. If you travel by air or car during the winter, you can count on more delays than you’d experience in the summer. Once bad weather appears during the peak times for air travel, we end up with the lengthiest flight delay, and the most cancellations and missed connections of the year. 

On the other hand, road travel has its share of annoyances and risks. There may be road closings, slower speeds due to snow or sleet, traffic accidents, and other obstacles to throw you off track. However, don’t let the winter and vacation travel season make you blue. Below are some travel tips to make life easier as you journey to and from your destination. 

Airline Travel Tips 

If you’re traveling a great distance over the holidays, the last thing you need is a stressful airport experience to start your vacation off on the wrong foot. Consider the following airline travel tips that can help to alleviate potential troubles. 

Plan ahead for your own sanity – Waiting until the last minute always leaves a great deal of your trip up to happenstance. Planning in advance is the most important tip of all, It is truly worth it to spend the extra time and effort to do so. Contact your travel agent to book your vacation as soon as you can manage. Then, you’ll be able to avoid peak travel dates, get lower airfares, fly direct (or minimize your connections) and fly early or late in the day to avoid the bigger crowds. 

Leave the house at least an extra hour earlier – As you prepare for your winter vacation give yourself more time than usual to accommodate any delays that may occur. Remember to bring some reading material for while you wait in the security line or at your departure gate. In cities with snow or ice, arrival delays can exceed two to three hours, and de-icing procedures before takeoff can take up to an hour. 

Pack as light as possible for your holiday travel – Since more airlines are getting stricter on baggage limits and weight allowances, packing less and taking lighter suitcases could save you money and time. If you’re planning to bring gifts for family and friends, consider shopping online and having your gifts shipped to your destination. This strategy will help cut down on luggage and will minimize the risk of losing any special gifts. 

Stretch your legs often – If you find yourself in cramped quarters or passing time on long flights, there’s the possibility you could develop Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT), which leads to blood clotting in your legs. So, remember this essential airline travel tip on your next flight – get up and walk around and stretch your arms and legs once every hour. 

Winter Driving Tips

For road travelers, winter is the most dangerous time of year. The following winter driving tips will help you stay safe and a little less anxious on your next trip. 

Have your car checked out before you leave – This is a crucial winter driving tip. The last thing you want to worry about is car trouble, leaving you stranded far away from home. Take your vehicle to your local auto shop for a quick once over, and make sure your tires are winter ready and are properly inflated. 

Stay hydrated for the journey – It probably seems like dehydration isn’t very likely during the winter, but a recent article published by Massachusetts General Hospital notes the importance of drinking in the winter, stating, “It may be difficult to notice when you’re sweating in colder weather. Even when you’re not sweating, you lose water through the skin, and the drier air from indoor heating can cause you to become dehydrated without even noticing.” Dehydration can quickly lead to fatigue and decreased alertness, which could be deadly during icy winter driving. Also, your body requires more fuel in the cold – so take with high-energy food including sandwiches, a thermos of hot soup, nuts, and fruit. 

Pack a winter safety kit for the car – Don’t leave without the essentials for a safe road trip – a cell phone (don’t forget the car charger), ice scraper, tow rope and jumper cables, sand or kitty litter to aid with traction, blankets, flashlights, matches and emergency candles, first aid kit, portable radio, and a good book, in case you do get stuck. 

Make frequent rest stops – winter driving is much more fatiguing than driving in the summer, so you’ll want to make time to stop and stretch your legs. Just a few minutes off the road will make all the difference in improving your alertness when you’re back behind the wheel. 

The most important take home message for winter travel will stand you in good stead for many life situations is to be prepared, and plan ahead. Consider what potential hazards may be ahead, and have a plan and the proper provisions in case you are faced with challenges or emergencies. And remember to say a heartfelt tefillat haderech before you begin your vacation adventure. 

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

Since October 7th, we have all faced the challenge of trying to process a great deal of trauma. The horrific attacks in Israel and the virulent anti-Semitism at home and abroad have left us reeling. And the  hostage situation causes us to struggle with feelings of outrage and our anxiety over the uncertainty of when and if the hostages will be released.  

If we adults are having so much difficulty, we recognize that our children are also having trouble. Here are some tools you can use with your children when talking with them about the war and the anti-Israel climate.  

Discussing Death  

How to talk to children about death varies by age.  Generally, children do not comprehend what death is until age three.  Although even infants and toddlers can sense when a parent is grieving. So, it is essential for parents to keep to routines as much as possible to boost their young children’s sense of security. 

At the same time, parents need to recognize their own grief and take time to mourn. 

Although older children, between five and eight, grasp that death is permanent, kids between two and four believe that death is reversible and they can “wish” a loved one to come back.  Children may also question if they themselves or their parents will die.  Parents need to reassure them.   Rather than using euphemisms like “passed away,”  which are unclear, use real words (gently) like “died.”   Offer kids books about death (there are good ones out there, many from a Jewish perspective) and help them to  express their feelings and fears. 

Where to Start? 

First, think about what you want to say. Be direct instead of vague, while also being tuned in to gauge how much your kids can handle.  No easy feat! 

Even your preschoolers may have heard from classmates about the tragic events in Israel or they may have overheard  news reports.  Never assume they have not been exposed.  

So, start by asking your child what they have heard.  It is preferable to hear about very difficult topics such as death, trauma, or anti-Semitism, from Mom or Dad rather than from another child.  Next, ask your children if they have any questions and how they feel about what has happened. Older kids may ask more questions than younger ones. 

Most importantly, keep the dialogue direct and uncomplicated. 

Use age-appropriate but real language.  It is okay if you do not have all the answers or you cannot predict what will happen.   You can say, “I don’t know the answer, but we could research it,” or “I’m not sure there is a clear answer, but we could come up with some possibilities.”  Actively listen to determine what your child is really asking.  Do they want more information, or do they need reassurance that you will keep them safe? 

During the pandemic, adults and children had to cope with uncertainty. When we help our children navigate the present moment, we can help them prepare for a lifetime of unknowns.  Give them space to express how uncertainty feels and model calmness.  Roosevelt University Professor of Psychology Steve Myers says, “You can certainly talk about possible or likely outcomes. You can even talk about what you hope will happen. But trying to protect your child from uncertainty altogether is not helpful to them.”  

Share basic information and avoid graphic or unnecessary details about tragic situations.  Keep young kids away from graphic and violent images and sounds that pop up on TV and the internet.  Be aware of what is out there and talk to your children about what they may hear or see.
 

It is key for a parent to communicate: “It’s okay if these things bother you. We are here to support each other.” 

Follow up to see if your kids have more questions and notice any difficulties they may be experiencing. Are they having nightmares, are they extra clingy or emotional? 

Self-Care for Parents  

You know the mantra put your own oxygen mask on first.  Parents, that means taking care of yourselves.   If you run out of oxygen, you cannot help anyone else with their oxygen mask.  

Parents need a good mindset to have calm and productive conversations with their children.  Take time to check in with yourselves, process the latest news reports with each other, and ask for help if needed.  Take a break from your news feeds and get some fresh air and exercise. 

Seek support and connection. Utilize available resources in your children’s schools, your shuls, and in the community.   

Let us continue to pray for the safe return of the hostages and for the protection of the IDF and all of Am Yisrael.