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Understanding The Deal Erub

Victor Cohen

Shabbat observance, as we know, requires abiding by numerous restrictions, many of which are well-known to all those accustomed to observing Shabbat. For example, we are keenly aware of the prohibitions against cooking, kindling a fire, using electronic devices, and even handling certain things which are classified as muktzeh. But one of the Shabbat prohibitions that might not be very familiar to observant Jews in today’s day and age is the prohibition against carrying objects into or through the public domain. Many Jews today live in communities with an erub – a symbolic enclosure that, ostensibly, allows for carrying within the area surrounded by the erub. The community in Deal, NJ is one such community, which benefits from an erub.

Unfortunately, however, many people mistakenly assume that this erub grants unrestricted permission to carry on Shabbat. The truth is that the erub relies on leniencies to permit carrying for health and safety purposes, and does not provide a blanket permission to carry.

To understand how the Deal erub works and which kind of carrying it permits, I had the privilege of interviewing Rabbi Nissim Basala, one of the creators of the Deal erub, who continues to maintain and oversee it even today.

The History of the Deal Erub

The process to build the Deal erub began in 1998. Thanks to the efforts of Rabbi Isaac Dwek, Mr. Jack Adjmi, Solly Dweck, and a number of other individuals, the erub was launched in the summer of 1999. It was expanded several times throughout the years, and now surrounds an area of over 24 square miles, extending into sections of Long Branch, Brighton Avenue, and some parts of West Allenhurst. The erub has been down only on very rare occasions, such as after Hurricane Sandy, which took the erub down for around a year.

Rav Moshe Heineman from Baltimore, one of America’s preeminent halachic scholars, was brought to authorize the erub, and he spent three days walking the entire length of the erub to assure its validity. The erub was inspected also by Rav Avraham Moshe Katzenelbogen, the rabbi who oversees the Jerusalem erub. Rabbi Basala says that he consults with Rav Moshe Heineman’s younger brother, Rav Shmuel Heineman – who runs the Star-K Hechsher in the New York/New Jersey area – with regard to erub-related matters.

The Four Shabbat Domains

Just as maps show different kinds of areas – residential, commercial, public, etc. – halachah similarly recognizes four different domains with respect to the prohibition of carrying on Shabbat:

  1. Reshut hayahid – private property, referring to homes and other enclosed properties.
  2. Reshut harabim – a public thoroughfare.
  3. Karmelit – a public area that does not meet the qualifications of a reshut harabim, because of its size or the relatively little traffic passing through it (see below).
  4. Makom patur – a small area such as a fire hydrant or a small ditch in the ground.

Inside a reshut hayahid, of course, carrying is permissible. However, Torah law forbids bringing something from a reshut hayahid into a reshut harabim, or vice-versa – from a reshut harabim into a reshut hayahid. Torah law also forbids carrying within a reshut harabim. Carrying from a reshut hayahid into a karmelit, or from a karmelit into a reshut hayahid, is forbidden miderabbanan – by force of rabbinic enactment. It is similarly forbidden miderabbanan to carry within a karmelit,

An erub is effective in halachically converting a karmelit into a reshut hayahid; the enclosure around the karmelit allows us to regard the enclosed area as a private domain, thereby sidestepping the rabbinic prohibitions against carrying within a karmelit, carrying from a karmelit into a reshut hayahid, and carrying from a reshut hayahid to a karmelit. Once the karmelit has been “downgraded” to a reshut hayahid through erub, all these become permissible.

Significantly, an erub has no effect on a reshut harabim. If an area is halachically defined as a public thoroughfare, then the construction of an erub does not allow carrying on Shabbat within this area, or to or from this area.

Hence, in order to determine whether an erub can be effective in a given area, we must determine whether halachah treats this area as a karmelit or as a reshut harabim.

The Differing Opinions, and Why They Matter

The Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 345:7) brings two opinions regarding the definition of a reshut harabim. According to the first opinion, any area that is 25 feet wide or larger qualifies as a reshut harabim. The second opinion, by contrast, maintains that a public area does not qualify as a reshut harabim unless 600,000 people or more pass through it in a day. The question of whether streets in Deal are to be regarded as a reshut harabim or a karmelit – and, by extension, the question of whether an erub is effective in permitting carrying in Deal – hinges on this debate. According to the first view, a large public area qualifies as a reshut harabim, and thus suburban neighborhoods such as Deal, despite their relatively quiet streets and little traffic, must be treated as a reshut harabim, where an erub is ineffective. The second view, however, would allow constructing an erub in places such as Deal that does not see heavy volume passing through them.

In other words: according to the first opinion, bringing a small object outside one’s home in Deal on Shabbat would constitute a Torah violation, just like cooking on Shabbat, despite the erub. According to the second view, this is entirely permissible.

Who is the Erub For?

In light of these differing opinions, Rabbi Basala explained that the Deal erub was erected not to grant a blanket license to carry on Shabbat, but rather for the benefit of those who have a particular need to carry, that justifies relying on the lenient position.

“It was intended for someone, who, let’s say, needs to carry medicine in their pocket,” Rabbi Basala said, “or who need some sort of walker.” By contrast, he clarified, the erub “wasn’t meant to cover people playing basketball.”

Secondly, as Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, writes in a responsum on the subject, “You should build the erub to save people who don’t know they are violating Shabbat.” Many people are unfamiliar with this prohibition, and so an erub should be erected so they are protected from Shabbat desecration, at least according to the lenient view quoted by the Shulhan Aruch.

Thus, the erub was created for people who need it, and to protect people who are unaware of this prohibition. It is not set up for casual carrying.

In fact, Rabbi Basala said that he himself does not use the erub, even though he leads an entire team dedicated to ensuring it is up each week.

The rabbi emphasized the responsibility we all have to familiarize ourselves with the halachot of Shabbat. He noted the well-known comment of the Hafetz Haim (Rav Yisrael Meir Kagan of Radin, 1839-1933), in his Mishnah Berurah, that learning the laws of Shabbat is an indispensable prerequisite to the proper observance of Shabbat. This is relevant also to the prohibition of carrying. One cannot willfully decide to not know about this issue so he can rely on the erub without any restrictions.

Rabbi Basala concluded by emphasizing two other points relevant to the use of the Deal erub.

First, he wishes to remind everybody that the erub does not allow handling muktzeh items, such as an umbrella. Relying on the erub allows carrying permissible objects, not items classified as muktzeh. It is imperative to educate oneself about the topic of muktzeh to know which objects may not be handled under which circumstances.

Secondly, the fact that “Deal has an erub” does not mean that the entire town is encircled by the erub. Those who rely on the erub may do so only after ascertaining that the area where they will carry is indeed included in the erub. Maps are available for this purpose.

All are encouraged to check the status of the Deal erub, and to sign up for the mailing list, at http://www.njerub.org/, where the information is updated weekly. Updates are also available by phone at 732-660-1001.

Once Upon A Thyme – Rosemary Pot Roast with Roasted Potatoes

Adina Yakkov

Rosemary Pot Roast with Roasted Potatoes

There’s something about rosemary that elevates every dish. Its distinct pine-like fragrance and earthy flavors, especially when paired with red wine and garlic, add incredible depth to this roast. Warm, hearty, and bursting with flavor, this dish is perfect for any family gathering or Shabbat dinner. Slow-cooked to melt-in-your-mouth perfection, the aromatic infusion of fresh rosemary, garlic, and red wine will quickly make this a family favorite.

Ingredients:

  • 2-3 lb. French roast
  • Salt and pepper, to taste
  • 6 white onions, sliced
  • 5 tbsp canola oil
  • 1 cup red wine
  • 1 tbsp mustard
  • ½ tsp lemon zest
  • 8 cloves garlic, minced
  • ¼ cup brown sugar
  • 4 twigs fresh rosemary or ½ cup dried rosemary
  • ¼ cup red wine vinegar
  • 2 lbs. Yukon Gold potatoes
  • Maldon flaky salt, for garnish (optional)

Instructions:

  1.  In a large pot, heat 3 tablespoons of oil over medium heat. Add the sliced onions and sauté until softened, about 5-7 minutes.
  2. Pat the roast dry with paper towels and generously season it with salt and pepper on all sides.
  3. Place the seasoned roast on top of the sautéed onions. Sear the roast for about 5 minutes on each side, until browned.
  4. Pour in the red wine, lemon zest, mustard, garlic, brown sugar, rosemary, and red wine vinegar. Add enough water to the pot so the liquid comes up about an inch to the top of the roast. Cover and bring to a boil.
  5. Once boiling, lower the heat to a simmer (low-medium flame) and cook for 3-4 hours. Check occasionally to make sure the liquid hasn’t evaporated. If the liquid level falls below the roast, add 1-2 cups of water at a time to keep it from burning. By the end of the cooking time, the liquid should be about halfway up the roast.
  6. While the roast is cooking, scrub or peel the Yukon Gold potatoes. Cut them into halves or wedges. Toss the potatoes with 2 tablespoons of oil, salt, and pepper, then spread them evenly on a sheet pan.
  7. Bake the potatoes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 20 minutes, covered. Flip them 1-2 times during cooking to ensure they cook evenly. After 20 minutes, uncover the potatoes and bake for an additional 10 minutes, until golden and crispy.
  8. During the last 10 minutes of cooking the roast, add the potatoes to the pot, allowing them to absorb the flavors of the roast.

To serve, arrange the roasted potatoes along the outer edges of a wide, rimmed dish. Place the roast in the center. Spoon the flavorful liquid over the roast and potatoes. Top the roast with the cooked onions and garnish with fresh rosemary and Maldon flaky salt (if desired).

Shas Olami: Safeguarding Our Heritage on a Global Stage

Victor Cohen

“…votes from our community can make a significant difference in shaping the future of Jewish funding allocations.”

Victor Cohen

In an era where Jewish identity is being challenged on multiple fronts, one organization stands at the forefront of the battle to protect our heritage, values, and future. Shas Olami is not just another initiative – it is a movement, a mission, and a call to action. If we fail to act, the sanctity of our traditions and the integrity of our Torah institutions hang in the balance. But if we unite, we have the power to preserve the rich legacy of Sephardic Jewry for generations to come.

You may have recently heard about Shas Olami through group chats, text messages, or from a rabbi, friend, or family member. But what exactly is this organization, and why is it so important?

A Voice on the Global Stage

Shas Olami is a global Sephardic Orthodox movement established in 2010 at the behest of Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l. Its mission is to preserve, protect, and strengthen Sephardic culture worldwide by instilling pride in our heritage, imparting authentic Torah values, and reinforcing the bond with Eretz Yisrael. Today, the movement is guided by Hacham Ovadia’s son, Hacham Yitzhak Yosef, shlit”a.

Shas Olami pursues two primary objectives:

  1. Preventing financial allocations to Reform-led causes that challenge traditional Jewish values.
  2. Increasing financial support for Sephardic initiatives worldwide and within our community institutions.

As the organization states:

By increasing our Orthodox representation, we can influence decisions that protect the sanctity of our Jewish homeland, adhere to Torah values, and benefit our communities.

Shas Olami provides Sephardic Jewry with a voice on the global stage. This is crucial now more than ever, given the attacks on our homeland and the rise of anti-Semitism worldwide. It is essential that we consolidate our influence and direct it toward protecting our interests and promoting Sephardic values in Eretz Yisrael.

To gain deeper insight into the organization’s mission and impact, I had the opportunity to interview Yehuda Nakkach, a leader within Shas Olami. We discussed the movement’s role, whom it represents, what it has accomplished, and why voting has never been more important.

Shas Olami was formed in 2010 under the guidance of Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, as a delegation within the World Zionist Organization (WZO)an international body representing Jews worldwide. The WZO distributes hundreds of millions of dollars annually to Jewish organizations, and the distribution of these funds is determined by elections held every five years.

Today, under the leadership of Hacham Ovadia’s son, Hacham Yitzhak Yosef, Shas Olami has established strong connections within our community. It is supported by numerous community rabbis and remains dedicated to ensuring the continued growth and success of Sephardic Jewry.

The Current State of the WZO and the Need for Change

The WZO plays a crucial role in allocating resources to Jewish organizations worldwide. Unfortunately, past elections have resulted in a disproportionate share of funding being directed toward Reform-affiliated causes, including protests that create unrest in Israel and organizations such as Women of the Wall, which undermine Jewish unity and traditional religious values.

As the Sephardic Orthodox representative within the WZO, Shas Olami works to redirect these funds toward Torah-centered causes that align with Sephardic and Orthodox Jewish values. However, the Reform movement remains a formidable political force.

In the most recent WZO election in 2020, Reform-affiliated organizations secured 39 seats with 31,000 votes. The next highest delegation trailed by 10,000 votes. Meanwhile, Shas Olami secured only two seats with just over 2,000 votes, ranking eighth overall.

Since the WZO operates on a fixed budget, funds directed toward Reform causes come at the expense of Orthodox and Sephardic initiatives. Reform delegations hold numerous key leadership positions within the WZO’s various departments, allowing them to steer funding toward causes that often contradict traditional Jewish values.

If Shas Olami strengthens its representation, it can collaborate with other religious voting blocs to counter this imbalance and redirect funds toward initiatives that support Torah observance and Sephardic heritage.

A Global Movement with a Lasting Impact

Despite its limited representation, Shas Olami is already making an impact. A stronger Shas Olami benefits not just our local community but also Sephardic Jews worldwide, including Bukharian, Persian, and other Sephardic groups across the United States and beyond.

Shas Olami operates in multiple countries, including France, Canada, Brazil, Argentina, Spain, Belgium, Mexico, and Chile, serving as a platform for Sephardic communities to voice their perspectives and shape the future of Jewish education and communal life on a global scale.

In a significant milestone, Shas Olami recently gained access to a WZO department for the first time. In 2020, its representatives were appointed to the Department for Fundraising and Strengthening Community Relations. In the capacity of this position, they have organized numerous events, including Selihot gatherings and holiday-related activities. This past Purim, for example, they facilitated the distribution of Megillot. Even with its current limited power, Shas Olami is actively working to promote Sephardic interests both locally and globally.

As Yehuda Nakkach explained, Shas Olami is committed to preventing funds from being allocated to Reform-affiliated organizations that undermine Jewish tradition, and to redirecting those funds towardstrengthening of Torah values, supporting Sephardic education, and protecting the sanctity of the Land of Israel.

A Call to Action

 The key to making this happen is simple: VOTE.

By voting for Shas Olami, we increase its representation within the WZO. A single delegation may have limited influence on its own, but when combined with other religious voting blocs, Shas Olami can help shift control of key WZO departments. Typically, Shas Olami partners with other religiously aligned groups, such as the Likud delegation and Eretz HaKodesh, to strengthen its impact.

As Mr. Nakkach highlighted, votes from “contentious” regions – such as the United States – carry increased strategic weight. This means that votes from our community can make a significant difference in shaping the future of Jewish funding allocations.

Voting requires minimal effort but yields significant long-term benefits for the Sephardic community. You can encourage others – family, friends, and colleagues – to vote, as well.

Our community has an opportunity to make a meaningful impact. If we rally behind Shas Olami and increase its voting share, we can not only curtail the influence of Reform movements but also advance Torah and Sephardic-centered causes with unprecedented strength.

To learn more about Shas Olami’s mission, long-term objectives, and commitment to strengthening Sephardic Jewry, visit shasolami.org.Vote today at azm.org/elections/  Slate # 1 and play your part in preserving Sephardic Jewry worldwide!

The Hidden Costs of Selling Your Home Alone

Selling a home on your own may seem like a way to save money, but it often leads to costly mistakes, especially when it comes to pricing.  Properly pricing a home requires a deep understanding of the local market, access to comparative sales data, and the expertise to interpret trends and buyer behavior.

The Plus of Professional Experience

Negotiating the sale of a home is far more complex than many homeowners realize, and doing it alone often results in missed opportunities or costly errors.  Experienced brokers bring a wealth ofnegotiation strategies designed to protect your interests, including knowing how to handle counteroffers, gauge a buyer’s seriousness, and anticipate tactics like last-minute renegotiations.

A professional broker brings the experience, market insights, and negotiation skills needed to price the home accurately and attract serious buyers, ultimately maximizing your profit and ensuring a smooth transaction.

Without the assistance of a professional broker, homeowners may struggle to push buyers to increase their offers or to read subtle cues that suggest a buyer might try to lower the price at the eleventh hour.  A skilled broker not only advocates for the best possible price but also manages the delicate balance of keeping the deal on track while safeguarding you from being taken advantage of, ensuring a smoother and more profitable transaction.

Consider the Risks of Going It Alone

Without the knowledge and skill that a professional broker has, homeowners risk undervaluing their property, leaving money on the table, or overpricing it, causing it to sit on the market for too long, which can cause it to develop a negative stigma. Within the past two months, we had two cases where the seller received an offer over $200K more then what they were going to accept before hiring a broker.

While selling your own home may seem appealing at first, one must consider the challenges that come with it and the risks involved.  A successful sale is more possible if you find an expert real estate broker or agent that you can trust. I personally believe sellers get more even while paying a broker’s fee.

Costly Consequences

The following are some costs that sellers may incur without the guidance of a professional broker:

  • Pricing Pitfalls – Determining the right asking price is a crucial part in the process of home-selling.  It requires in-depth knowledge of the real estate market in the area, including recent sales data, neighborhood trends, and the current demand for properties.  When you sell your home without this comprehensive knowledge, you risk overpricing or underpricing your home.  This can lead to an extended time on the market, thus decreasing your future buying power.  A real estate agent is a key piece of the pricing puzzle who can ensure proper pricing based on local expertise and data, especially in Brooklyn where each block can be a few thousand off.
  • Negotiation Challenges – Negotiating the terms of a home sale can be challenging and overwhelming, especially when emotions are involved.  Buyers want the best deal possible and the buyer’s agent will use their expertise to advocate for their client.  Sellers will also have to deal with the home inspection company and the home appraiser.  FSBO (for sale by owner) sellers may not have strong negotiation skills, risking concessions that hurt the sale.  Rather than going through all these parties alone, lean on an expert real estate broker who can skillfully negotiate and advocate for you to secure the best deal.
  • Legal Risks and Closing Costs – FSBO sellers may make legal mistakes that lead to delays or lawsuits. Agents navigate complex contracts and closing costs to protect your interests.
  • Marketing And Exposure – In the world of real estate, effective marketing is a very important part in the process of attracting buyers.  If you sell on your own, you may have difficulty when it comes to matching the reach of agents, resulting in limited exposure and less potential buyers.

Exploring the Wonders of the Human Anatomy

Is Yawning Contagious?

Absolutely! It’s one of the body’s most contagious, uncontrollable actions.

In fact, yawning is so contagious that seeing a picture of someone yawning can make you yawn. Not only that, but even reading or writing about yawning can make you yawn! (Are you yawning yet?)

Scientists continue to research the “contagious yawn” phenomenon, but they have yet to discover what exactly causes people to yawn simply because they see another person yawning.

One theory is that yawning may be an unspoken form of communication, and “contagious yawning” is related to empathy (the ability to recognize, understand, and share the feelings of others). People with higher levels of empathy yawn more often when someone else yawns, compared to people with lower levels of empathy or those with emotional disorders.

A recent study discovered that yawns are most contagious among close friends and family members. Apparently, the closer you are to someone genetically or emotionally, the more likely it is that you’ll “catch” his/her yawn. Research has also shown that children under the age of five, as well as older adults, are less likely to yawn in response to somebody else yawning.

What Exactly Is a Yawn?

Everybody yawns on a daily basis, from infants to great-grandparents and everyone in between. But, have you ever wondered what exactly is a yawn?

A yawn is a big intake of air. The mouth and jaw open wide. Through the mouth and nose, there’s a deep inhale, followed by a slow exhale. Sometimes, people close their eyes when they yawn; often they stretch their arms or legs, too. Although we yawn more often when we’re tired or bored, scientists have ruled out sleepiness or lack of oxygen (which would cause sleepiness) as causes for yawning. Then why, exactly, do people and animals yawn?Scientists still do not know for sure, but they do have a few theories.

Animals Yawn Too!

Did you know that dogs, cats, and other animals yawn, too? In fact, nearly all vertebrates, from fish to reptiles to primates, yawn. What’s even more amazing is that research has proven that yawning is contagious among some animals as well. Examples include dogs, chimpanzees, and bonobos. Experiments have shown that dogs will even yawn after a person yawns!

Haas & Zaltz, LLP: To Help You Plan Your Legacy and Protect Your Family

It’s an uncomfortable conversation for many, yet it might just be the single most important conversation people will ever have in their lives: estate and legacy planning. Emanuel Haas and Ari Zaltz of the law firm Haas & Zaltz, LLP are there to help their clients navigate the highly complex and sensitive issues that arise when making decisions that range from long-term care to inheritance distribution.

One of the biggest concerns Haas and Zaltz work to address with their clients is the prospect of needing long-term care as they get older. In fact, they caution that not making appropriate provisions for long-term care is one of the biggest and costliest mistakes families can make, even though it is one that can be easily avoided.

Haas explained that very often an individual receives a diagnosis or experiences a trauma or other type of debilitating incident that creates the need for long-term care. If a plan is not in place, issues can crop up that make navigating this significant life change much more challenging for everyone. But when a plan for long-term care is already in place, it’s much easier for all involved to react with confidence.

“If you ask a random person who they think covers care as they get older, many people will tell you it’s their health insurance. Other people will tell you Medicare. Unfortunately, neither of those answers are true,” explained Zaltz.

“Sometimes a parent needs money and care immediately. If it’s not done properly and you don’t avail yourself of an elder law attorney, you can really get wiped out. A nursing home today is just an unbelievable amount of money,” he cautioned.

Haas and Zaltz advise clients to plan early, as young as 55, and when everyone is still well. “We try to do traditional estate planning but with an added level to make sure that our clients’ assets are protected for themselves, first and foremost, and subsequently for the next generation,” Zaltz said.

Otherwise, chaos can and will surely ensue. Not only will adult children be faced with how to provide long-term care for a parent, but also with the difficult prospect of how to pay for it. If a parent’s care is not being covered by Medicaid, the cost is nothing short of astronomical.

Many people don’t realize that a person only qualifies for Medicaid once his or her wealth has been depleted. Medicare is only available to those 65 and older (and with certain disabilities) and offers very limited benefits for long-term care.

Haas explained that when a person opts to become dependent on Medicaid for long-term care, a lien will be placed on his or her property and possibly any other assets.

“At least in New York, Medicaid cannot force a sale of a home because even if somebody is in a nursing home and will never come back, there is always an ‘intent to return home’ for that individual,” Haas said. Upon that person’s passing, however, Medicaid will recover what it spent on the decedent’s care, typically by selling the property.

Haas and Zaltz explain that in fact, Medicaid can go after any asset someone owns, but by setting up a trust, the home and any other assets placed in the trust will be protected. “Very often the home is the most valuable asset, and in some sense, creating a trust is a really straightforward way of addressing that problem,” Haas said.

Haas and Zaltz advise their clients that if they have assets in their name, which could be as simple as a home, they should place them in certain kinds of asset-protection trusts. That way, if a parent should require care as they get older, they will still immediately qualify for Medicaid and be entitled to government benefits. Upon their passing, the government won’t be able to claw back those assets which the parents may have intended to leave to their children.

A trust allows a person to say they no longer own the home and instead, the home is “owned” by a trust. Although a “trustee” is a nominal owner, it doesn’tactually belong to them, nor are they necessarily the beneficiary of the trust. In a trust, it can be stipulated that the parents maintain the right to live in the home until their passing. If the trust sells the home, possibly because the parents living in the home wish to downsize, the parents can still maintain the right to reside in any residential property owned by the trust.

It is extremely important to note, however, that the person(s) creating the trust must wait a period of 60 months from the time of the transfer in order to become eligible to receive Medicaid.

“The reality is that the seniors who transferred their home to a trust won’t even notice a difference,” Haas said. “They’ll live in a home just the way they always lived. They can move. They can sell the property and buy a different property and have the same right to live there, and nobody will know the difference. The only difference is that the asset will be protected.” To learn more about what you can do to protect your assets for yourself and your children visit www.haaszaltz.com or email them at info@haaszaltz.com. To make an appointment call 718-412-5288.

The Lighter Side – March 2025

Purim Puns

Q: What was Queen Esther’s royal gown made of?
A: Poly- Ester!

Q: What beracha did the Jews say upon seeing Haman hanging on the gallows?
A: Ha’eitz!

Moshe K.

Knock, Knock

Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

Vashti!

Vashti who?

Vashti dishes and I’ll give you a hamantaschen!

Norman B.

A Jewish Grandmother’s Voice Mail:

If you want lox and eggs, press 1;

If you want knishes press 2;

If you want chicken soup, press 3;

If you want matzoh balls with the soup, press 4;

If you want to know how am I feeling, you are calling the wrong number since NOBODY ever asks me how I am feeling. Who knows? I could even be dead by now.

Lisa S.

Conversion Tables

With today’s rapid advance in technology, we thought it important to bring to our readers’ attention some new engineering conversions:

Ratio of an igloo’s circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi

2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton

1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong

Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon

Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line.

1,000 aches: 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower

453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake

1 million microphones: 1 megaphone

10 cards: 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton

1,000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen

2 monograms: 1 diagram

2,000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbird

Charles P.

Doctor’s Visit

Patient: “Doctor, doctor I think I’m shrinking!”

Doctor: “Well, you’ll just have to be a little patient!”

Alice C.

The Mayor’s Mezuzah

One day the mayor of the adjacent town came to the rabbi’s house for a meeting.

“Rabbi,” began the mayor, “in our town we are plagued by thieves. Scarcely a day passes without a report that a home in my city has been burglarized. On the other hand, I have noticed that thieves do not bother you Jews nearly as much. Why is that?”

“Look at this little box on the side of my doorpost,” the rabbi said pointing to the mezuzah. “When we Jews put a mezuzah on the entrances to our houses, Gd protects both us and our property.”

“Then I shall have everyone in my town install such a box,” the mayor said excitedly.

Looking down, the rabbi said, “I’m afraid that’s not going to be so easy. Mezuzot are only really fit for Jewish homes.”

“In that case,” replied the mayor, “at least give just one to me personally for my own use.”

Not wishing to upset the powerful mayor, the rabbi reluctantly handed over a mezuzah.

The next day, the rabbi was awakened by the sound of someone pounding violently on his door. Dressing himself hastily, he made his way down the stairs.

“Who’s there?” the rabbi asked.

“Open the door! Open the door!” screamed a voice on the other side.

Leaving the door on the latch, the rabbi cracked the door wide enough to see the mayor standing in front of him, his eyes wild with great distraught.

“What happened?” asked the terrified rabbi, “Robbers?”

“No, even worse!” screamed the mayor. “Charity collectors!”

Hilarious Hannah

Desperate for Dismissal

A man chosen for jury duty very much wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of, but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot.

As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

“Your Honor,” he said, “I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I said, ‘He’s a crook! He’s guilty, guilty, guilty!’ So, Your Honor, I could not possibly stay on this jury.”

The judge replied, “Get back in the jury box. You are just the kind of juror we are looking for – a good judge of character.”

“But Your Honor,” the man protested, “how can you say that?!”

“Because,” the judge said, “that man is the defendant’s lawyer!”

Joey G.

White House History

The first Jewish President of the United States has been inaugurated, and the first Jewish holiday that follows is Purim. So, he calls up his mother to invite her to the White House for Purim.

Their conversation goes something like this:

President: Mom, with Purim being the first holiday after my inauguration, I want to celebrate it with us at the White House.

Mom: Oh, I don’t know. I’ll have to get to the airport and…

President: Mom! I’m the President of the United States! I’ll send a limo for you to take you right to the airport!

Mom: OK, but when I get to the airport, I’ll have to stand on the line to buy a ticket and check my baggage. Oh, it will be so difficult for me.

President: Mom, don’t worry about standing on lines or any of that. I’m the most powerful person in the world. I’m the President. I’ll send Air Force One for you!!

Mom: Well, OK. But when I get to Washington, I’ll have to find a cab and…

President: Momma, please! I’ll have a helicopter waiting for you. It will bring right to the White House lawn!!!

Mom: Well, yeah. But where will I stay? Can I get a hotel room…

President: Momma, we have this whole big White House!!!! There will be plenty of room!!!! Please join us for Purim.

Mom: Ok, I’ll be there.

Two seconds later, she calls her friend:

Mom: Hello, Sadie?!! Guess what? I’m spending Purim at my son’s house!!

Sadie: Oh, the doctor?

Mom: No, the other one.

Maureen T.

Preferred Customers

An Israeli is walking down the street in New York when suddenly, to his horror, he sees a sign hanging in front of a building. The sign reads, “We would rather do business with a thousand Hamas terrorists than with a single Israeli.”

Enraged, the Israeli walks up to the building and prepares to go inside to confront the owners. As he is about to enter the building, he notices a smaller sign which reads, “Bergenstein Funeral Home.”

A. N.

Riddles – March 2025

RIDDLE: The Hidden Number

Submitted by: Susan M.

I am a three-digit number. My tens digit is five more than my ones digit. My hundreds digit is eight less than my tens digit. What number am I?

Last Month’s Riddle: What Am I?

I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive when the wind blows. What am I?

Solution:  An echo!

Solved by: Eli Nuseiri, Adele E. Sardar, Big Mike, Albert Setton, Carl Dwek, Janet F., Family Esses, and The Shmulster.

JUNIOR RIDDLE:  The More You Take  

Submitted by: Bobby W.

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: A Sinking Feeling
You see a boat filled with 100 people. A minute later, you look again and there isn’t a single person on board. If the boat didn’t sink, how is that possible?

Solution: All the people were married!

Solved by: Danielle Mandalawi, Simon Salame, Cynthia Salame, Rachel G., Chanie Groner, Adele E. Sardar, The Big Cheese, Family Esses, Maureen Betesh, and The Shmulster.

Mabrouk – March 2025

Births – Baby Boy

Mark & Paulette Yedid

Harry & Shelly Schneps

Elliot & Jenny Serouya

Isaac & Eileen Dweck

Joseph & Joyce Sasson

Izzy & Shoshana Shammah

Bernie & Sylvia Setton

Jack & Sara Shalom

Joey & Jennifer Oved

Isaac & Eileen Fariwa

Births – Baby Girl

Ezra & Raisy Mosseri

Joey & Viviane Cohen

Ronnie & Raquel Kassin

Sol & Rena Torkieh

Robert & Esther Beyda

Louis & Rachel Shalam

Irving & Francine Shabot

Steve & Robyn Hakim

Maurice & Esther Dayan

Eddie & Ruthie Gindi

Engagements

Aaron Rudy to Esther Sutton

Michael Catton to Michelle Zalta

Jack Sedacka to Lynn Pichotto

Zeke Bernstein to Kay Rishty

David Hidary to Stephanie Tarrab

Michael Franco to Sarah Greenberg

Jacob Ruben to Lois Betesh

Danny Schackman to Vera Antebi

Weddings

Yaakov Falack to Karen Braha

Yehuda Seruya to Rina Ashkenazi

Marriage & Money

Mozelle Forman

Our community is blessed, for the most part, with affluence that tends to place a heavy emphasis on material possessions.  Looking around and seeing the opulent lifestyle of our friends and neighbors can entice one to make poor decisions about their own financial life.  “Keeping up with the Joneses,” can become a dangerous position to take when a couple begins to live beyond their means in order to fit in.  This choice – the way they earn, the way they spend – becomes the responsibility of both husband and wife

Ari Perl, LCSW, a couples therapist, facilitates a group for men at SBH, entitled, “The Pressures of Providing,” addressing this phenomenon and “providing a space of mutual support from like-minded guys.”  What has emerged in this group are the deepest feelings that men have about providing for their family, things they may never have felt comfortable sharing with their wives. 

“The men in our group have expressed the wish that others understood the gravity of the burden of managing and budgeting bills and debt- and the constant nature of it. They are choking, caught between a rock and a hard place, between tuition, housing, and other basic living expenses on one side and an income that hardly covers it on the other. They wish they didn’t get hit with sudden large bills even for some ‘noble causes,’ and if they are, they wish their wives would understand what impact that has on them. They wish they didn’t need to conflict with their wives over these issues, let alone be ‘hit’ by sudden large purchases that they only know [about] because they see the bill or the package come in the mail. They need understanding, compassion, respect, and for all of these to be expressed through ongoing close contact over these issues.”

Man As the Provider

To understand why men carry the burden of parnassa alone, we simply have to look back to when Hashem decreed it should be, b’zeat apecha tochal lachem – with the sweat of your brow you shall eat bread.  For a man, there is an intrinsic connection between supporting his family and his sense of self-worth.  His need to provide well for his family is not dictated by his “ego,” it is his Gd-given mandate to work hard and support his family. 

The mandate, though particular to man, was not meant to be his struggle alone.  When Hashem created Chava, it was not only to alleviate something negative, Adam’s being alone, it was to provide him with something positive, an “ezer kenegdo” – a curious synthesis of “helpmate against him” – as his partner in the challenges of daily living.  Our sages explain that in a relationship, there are times when one is most helpful by being supportive and alongside one’s spouse, and there are times when the help that is needed requires going against the desires and position of one’s spouse. The goal is to know when each action is appropriate. Regardless of the action, it is clear that woman was given a mandate from Hashem to act and to influence.

Collaboration and Communication

In order for this helping relationship to thrive, collaboration and communication are essential.  If a man is not disclosing an honest assessment of the family’s financial state, he deprives himself of this help.  When a husband does not disclose to his wife that this year’s business was not as profitable and therefore, adjustments to their spending need to be made, he leaves himself abandoned and alone in meeting the financial needs of the family.  When a wife is not made aware of the true nature of the family’s income, she may feel resentful when she is told that she needs to cut back on spending.  She decides that things can’t be that bad and continues to spend as always.  It can be quite tempting and calming for a wife to have the attitude that her husband is in charge and “let him handle it.”  Receiving a “salary” for the week and remaining unaware of all the other bills waiting to be paid may give a wife a sense of serenity and security.  But if you ask the wife who became aware of the family’s dire financial situation when she watched her car being repossessed in her driveway or if you ask the wife who discovered that her home is now in foreclosure because the mortgage hasn’t been paid in years, they will tell you that they would have liked to have known.

Any financial planner would offer a straightforward, simple plan to alleviating stress about money – “We don’t spend more than we earn.” And while this should solve most financial issues, most couples can’t adopt this philosophy when underlying psychological implications of power and security are not addressed. 

Values-Based Financial Choices

Rabbi Manis Friedman, world-renowned author, teacher, and speaker on creating a successful marriage, emphasizes the significance of open communication and shared decision-making regarding finances within a marriage, encouraging couples to discuss financial goals and responsibilities openly. He often cautions against placing too much emphasis on material wealth as the primary factor in marital happiness, suggesting that true fulfillment comes from deeper connections and shared values.  He advocates for incorporating ethical and spiritual considerations when making financial choices, aligning personal values with financial actions. 

Ari Perl witnesses this first-hand in the couples he counsels.  “When a couple sets personal family values and make decisions about their standard of living together it’s very powerful, inspiring, and rewarding.  It’s an opportunity to renew their vows around what’s really meaningful and valuable- like family, faith, health, personal accomplishments, and being happy with your portion.”

Every marriage begins with a financial transaction called kiddushin. In kiddushin, the man gives the woman, in the presence of two witnesses, money or some other object, such as a ring, valued at no less than a perutah, signifying their union. While the woman is a passive participant in this initial financial transaction, it is unadvisable for her to remain a silent partner.  When both spouses are aware of and are concerned about the financial stability of their family, they have the best chance of success.  Most couples spend their entire married lives disagreeing about financial matters.  Disagreement does not mean they have a bad relationship. It simply means they haven’t found the right way to discuss a difficult topic.  Experts in the field give the following advice:

Expert Advice

Talk to each other – Discuss your hopes and dreams, while prioritizing goals.  Discuss how you can work together to achieve them, recognizing that some dreams are not realistic for your family. 

Discuss money regularly –In order that issues don’t build up and solve the differences and challenges between you rather than debating who is right.  Accept that some problems are unsolvable and focus on constructive ways to discuss them. 

Try to understand your partner’s perspective –As in everything else having to do with marriage, we must take into account that we are each individual with different money styles. For example, one partner may prioritize saving for retirement, while the other may prioritize spending on leisure activities. Take the time to learn to listen to each other. When you are open to compromise with your partner about money, you can work together to find the best solution for both of you. Lastly, if conflict or lack of transparency still prevail, seek the help of a rabbi, counselor, or financial planner to insure the financial health and well-being of your family.

Look for the Warning Signs

While financial assessment meetings should take place regularly, there are a few red flags regarding finances that require immediate attention:

  • If a spouse refuses to talk about money or gets defensive when asked about finances, it’s a red flag that they might be hiding important information that could affect the other spouse’s financial well-being. This could include hidden debt or an excessive spending habit, compulsive gambling, or unethical business practices.
  • When a spouse overspends continually on a credit card, it can quickly snowball into a debt crisis for the couple.  Opening more new credit cards and maxing out multiple credit cards will not only create the debt crisis but will damage your credit, making you ineligible to apply for loans in the future.
  • When a spouse is unwilling to create a budget or stick to a budget created together, financial crisis can occur and trust can be damaged.