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Building Dreams Together – Thoughts Become Things

Jack Gindi

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to create success with little effort? The difference isn’t luck; it’s knowing a simple truth: what you focus on, you create.

Thirty years ago, I stood at a crossroads in my life. I had stepped into the fiercely competitive world of commercial real estate. I was new, unproven, and surrounded by seasoned brokers with deep networks. I had no connections, but I had a vision.

I made a choice that changed my life. I decided to be successful in my mind first, before it happened in real life.

Every morning, I asked myself, “How would a top broker approach today? How would they dress? How would they speak? How would they handle rejection?” I didn’t just ask – I lived the answers. I wore the clothes. I organized my day with a purpose. I walked into meetings like I belonged at the top.

Was it comfortable? Not always. I faced doubts, awkward moments, and more rejection than I expected. But something remarkable happened: how I thought began to shift how I showed up. Soon, the world around me started to reflect the vision in real experiences.

By the end of my first year, I became the top broker in my office.

This wasn’t luck. It was the quiet power of thoughts becoming things.

Your Mind Is the Blueprint

Today, I teach kids and families how to step into the lives they want and become the people they want to be. It’s more than just positive thinking. It’s about deliberately choosing how you think – and using your thoughts to design your life.

Most people don’t realize they have between 40,000 and 60,000 thoughts a day. Every single one is like a brick in the life we’re building. When you become conscious of your thoughts, you start building with intention instead of default.

Here’s what I’ve learned about making this principle work:

Get Clear on What You Want: You can’t build what you can’t see. Success starts with clarity. I didn’t just want to be “successful.” I pictured myself doing the things successful people do – walking with confidence, closing deals, being respected. That mental picture became my blueprint.

Act as If: This isn’t pretending. It’s preparing. When you act like your goal is already true, you train your subconscious to accept it. You also show others who you are becoming. My transformation began when I stopped waiting for success to show up and started living like it already had.

Stay Focused: The mind naturally wanders. The real challenge is learning to redirect your focus. I faced constant rejection that first year, just like everyone else. The difference? I didn’t let it become my story. I’d feel the sting, then shift my focus back to my vision. Success doesn’t come from avoiding failure – it comes from refusing to dwell on it.

Feel It Deeply: Seeing the dream is powerful, but feeling it is where the magic happens. When I visualized closing a deal, I didn’t just imagine the handshake. I felt the excitement, the pride, the joy. When your thoughts are backed by genuine emotion, they fuel belief. And belief drives action.

What would you love to create in your life? What vision, if realized, would transform everything?

Get specific. Picture it in detail. Feel it. Start showing up as the person who already lives that reality. Then, watch what begins to shift within and around you.

This isn’t a theory or a nice idea. It works. I’ve lived it. And I’ve seen it change the lives of countless others through life. All it takes is a decision.

You don’t have to wait for the world to give you permission to become who you were meant to be.

Thoughts become things. It’s simple – not always easy – but it works.

Believe. Become. Be You.


Jack Gindi is a mentor, writer, and family coach. He helps people tackle life’s challenges with his Believe Become Be You platform. Drawing from 50 years of entrepreneurship and personal growth, he guides individuals and families in building strong, resilient lives. Reach him at papajack@believebecomebeyou.com

Sailing Relationships with R’ Ali

QUESTION:

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I know that you speak about marriage, but I was hoping that you could help me with my daughter and son-in-law. I don’t like the way my son-in-law speaks to my daughter and I am not sure how to approach the situation. There are other things, but I am not sure how much I am allowed to say to her or maybe approach his parents. Any guidance would be appreciated.

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE:

Before I give you my perspective on the matter, I’d like to mention two things. Firstly, anyone who is reading my column should know that marriage, parenting, and parents’ relationship with their married children are many times intertwined. People shouldn’t think that advice for in-laws is too different from advice for husband and wife. Anything that can affect the couple’s relationship falls under this category and needs to be addressed just as much as shalom bayit issues need to be addressed. Parents should take these questions very seriously and not rely on what they feel is best. Married children should also take parents and in-laws’ issues seriously as they involve kivud av va’em and can have serious repercussions. 

Second, I am glad that you are reaching out and I encourage more parents to reach out when situations such as these arise. Unfortunately, many disasters could have been averted with some simple guidance. Of course, some situations are complex, but most are very simple. I will try be’ezrat Hashem to put down the basics that everyone should know and then address your specific situation.

There are some rules that all parents should abide by in order to ensure that their children have a happy marriage. The first rule I would say is to never, under any circumstances, get involved in your married child’s relationship. Any well-meaning parent will instinctively attempt to protect their child. The parental instinct to protect their child can come at the cost of damaging the relationship, which means that any hint that they are unhappy will make them completely biased to their child. This can set off numerous disasters. A parent may be tempted to give advice without even hearing the other side. I will address what to do, but advice should definitely be off limits. Many times people will tell me, “ I had no choice but to give him advice on how to proceed.” To this I say, “We don’t do something wrong when we are unsure what else to do.”

Another rule is to never ever confront your son or daughter-in-law! I cannot emphasize this point enough, as I have seen people do this or something like this. People in general cannot accept rebuke. How then will your daughter-in-law respond to any hint that she is making mistakes in her marriage? Not too well. This same rule applies to calling up or approaching your child’s in-laws. This has become common practice and should become a non-practice from now on.

The next rule is not to say anything negative to your child about their spouse. Until now we were talking about situations where you were approached. This rule applies even, or especially, when your child has not even mentioned that something is wrong with their relationship. If you see something that is concerning regarding their relationship, never mention this to your child, for a few reasons. Besides the  aforementioned idea  that you might give some dangerous advice, what you see may not even be bothering your child! 

There are many other rules, however this should serve as a basis for parents to understand proper boundaries and how cautious they must be when dealing with their married child’s relationship.

Getting back to your question, you mentioned that you feel that your daughter is not being spoken to nicely. I have no idea if this is mild or major, but getting involved will cause two problems. The correct approach would be to speak with your rabbi or with a professional in the field. A family rabbi may be able to approach them and guide them properly. I have seen this approach multiple times and it has met with much success. A rabbi who deals with marital issues can tactfully approach your daughter or son-in-law and figure out the best way to proceed.  Of course, it’s not easy to sit back and watch your child be hurt and unhappy, but this is a delicate situation and must be dealt with in a delicate manner. To conclude, I am not speaking about outright abuse, chas ve’shalom. Anyone being abused must be guided to safety immediately using your own discretion.

Amalek Within – Defeating the Power of Cynicism

Rabbi Yehuda Beyda

In the prophecies of Bil’am (Bamidbar 24; 20) it is written, “Amalek is the first of the nations, and his end will be everlasting oblivion.” The Torah describes Amalek as a nation that, at the end of days, will cease to exist. Even in the Days of Mashiah, when the entire world will be brought to its perfect state, Amalek will not exist. When every other nation in the world will be fulfilling its function assigned to it at the dawn of time, Amalek will best serve the world by leaving it. But why is this so? What is it about Amalek that precludes any hope of salvation? Why is this one nation the only one that cannot be brought to fulfill a higher purpose?

The answer is alluded to in the beginning of the above pasuk, that Amalek is “the first among the nations.” Though all the nations of the world opposed the existence of B’nei Yisrael at one point or another, Amalek was the first to do so, thereby earning everlasting destruction. Let us probe this idea further.

The Power of Cynicism

In the Torah, the attack of Amalek on the Jews in the desert is immediately followed by the words, “Vayishma Yitro – And Yitro heard.” What did Yitro hear? The Midrash Rabba says that he heard about the war of Amalek and Hashem’s decree in its aftermath, that He would erase all memory of Amalek from the world. The Midrash applies the pasuk (Mishlei 19; 25)that states that when a cynic is punished, the fool gains wisdom. Amalek and Yitro were both involved in Par’oh’s scheme to destroy us, but when Yitro heard of Hashem’s intent to destroy Amalek, he took the lesson to heart and repented. Though the cynic himself gets no benefit from being punished, he serves as a lesson for others to improve their behavior. Amalek here is labeled a cynic, who by definition allows all rebuke to roll off of him with no lasting impact. Yet, he can serve as a lesson for others. Where, though, does this label of cynic come from? How does Amalek’s behavior earn him the title of letz? Let us examine this.

The Gemara (Megilla 25b) tells us that all cynicism is prohibited, besides that which mocks idol worship. Certainly this applies to all mockery of evil, on any level. The reason that the Gemara chose to single out idol worship for this statement is that the essence of cynicism is to devalue that which others hold in high esteem. Rabbenu Yona explains the pasuk (Mishlei 27: 21) that states, “as a crucible is for silver and a furnace for gold, is a man according to his praise.” He says that this means that the essence of a man can be discerned by that which he praises. If one is constantly praising and admiring those who are far from the will of Hashem, then we can know for certain that he himself is far from Hashem, as well.

Though he may spend his days studying Torah and doing mitzvot, by seeing where he puts his admiration his true allegiance can be known. Conversely, we may find someone who does not study Torah as much as he should, and doesn’t expend much effort in doing mitzvot. Yet, when a talmid hacham enters the room, he shows honor and respect. His children hear the way he speaks with reverence about those who study Torah. His admiration and praise are reserved for those who are following in Hashem’s ways. This man is closer to Hashem than the other, who studies the Torah but has no respect for it. A man according to his praise.

The Natural Tendency to Put Down Others

Yet before the discernment is made about what one’s praise is for – a different question must be asked. Does he have the capacity for praise and admiration in the first place? In each of us lurks a powerful urge to devalue and bring down anything that others hold dear. We will seek out and find the “chink in the armor,” and expand that to totally destroy any admiration we may feel for someone or something worthy of such.

“That rabbi? People think he’s so great. I remember when he was a kid, we used to play basketball every Shabbat together!”  “You’re saying Tehillim with 40 people? Waste of time. All these are tricks and segulot.

We have the tendency to try and knock anything that may lead us – or others – to a higher state of existence. This is the power of cynicism – leitzanut – which is anathema to all spiritual growth. Leitzanut has the power to negate even the most powerful and awe-inspiring display of Hashem’s presence. Indeed, Eliyahu Hanavi himself, when making his demonstration at Mount Carmel, gave a special prayer that no cynic should toss out a careless word and undo all his work. Cynicism is among the most destructive powers that exist, and those who practice it are excluded from the Presence of Hashem.

The Power of Praise and Elevation

So, before we can ask if we are praising and admiring those people or actions that deserve our praise, we must first ask ourselves – do we have the capacity to admire in the first place? Are we bringing ourselves and those around us to a higher plane of existence, or do we indulge in leitzanut to denigrate and devalue the Word of Hashem? Once that question can be satisfactorily answered, we may then examine the direction of our admiration and ensure that its targets are the proper ones.

This, then, is why Chazal chose the example of idol worship to illustrate the proper use of mockery. Idol worship is the extreme case where men built up and admired – to the point of worship and servitude – a false ideal. They used the power of elevation not for its intended purpose of increasing the honor of Hashem, but rather to promote falsehood and debauchery. This is the perfect illustration of what we must mock, and all other examples flow from this. This form of mockery is not the destructive leitzanut,but rather is a natural outgrowth of the power of elevation – of the proper type – by which we must negate all that which opposes the will of Hashem.

Amalek the Cynic

This returns us to the actions of Amalek. The simple test to determine whether we are on the path of elevation or of mockery is to examine how we react to being corrected or rebuked. If we cannot stand to be told that we have been doing wrong – that is the classic symptom of the letz. Only one who is actively seeking a higher existence can be rebuked effectively. When we can thank the one who points out an error in what we are doing, then we know that we are on the path of elevation.

Amalek, on the other hand, is the embodiment of that destructive power of leitzanut. Rashi (Devarim 25:18) tells us that Amalek “cooled down the boiling water” of the fear that gripped the nations when they attacked us so soon after we left Egypt. All the world had witnessed the might of Hashem and the strength of His love for us, and they were all in awe – and admiration – of Hashem and His nation. Amalek couldn’t stand that. They set out to prove that we were just like all the others. The Jews aren’t untouchable. We can be attacked, and though they were defeated Amalek made a real fight of it. They cooled the ardor. They found the chink to exploit.

Amalek embodies the essence of mockery and cynicism. And that is why they must be destroyed forever.

In a world that has returned to its intended mission, a world where every nation is serving its higher purpose, all will be on the path of elevation. The time of Mashiah will usher in a reality where every person and every nation will know their place, and how they are expected to increase the honor of Hashem. Even the bitterest enemies that we have known will be devoted to and praising Hashem. As we say each morning in Pesuke d’zimra – “Malchei eretz v’chol leumim…yehallelu et Shem Hashem. Kings of the land and all nations…will praise the name of Hashem.” That world has no place for a cynic. Amalek and his power can serve no purpose on the path of elevation, for theirs is one of mockery and denigration.

The only thing they can do is disappear. May we see it soon and in our days. Amen.Adapted from the Sefer Pachad Yitzchak, by Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner, zt”l, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Rabbeinu Chaim Berlin.

Inventions & Innovators

Inventions are the ingenious gadgets and machines that have made our lives a little more fun, interesting, and easier. Real inventions are the things that we did not think were possible yesterday, and yet, it would be difficult to live without today. From the tiny paperclip to the massive jet engine, every month we will explore the history behind our world’s most famous inventions and learn about the innovators that designed them.

This month we explore the history behind an invention that most of us likely just take for granted…

SUPER GLUE

As a publicity stunt, a Russian program risked a man’s life, just to prove the strength of a new type of Super Glue. They had their producer hanging upside down below a hot air balloon, with nothing but the glue to hold him in place!

The crew glued the soles of the producer’s shoes to a wooden board attached to the underside of the balloon, before flying it up to a height of 5,000 feet. Thankfully, the glue proved to be strong and the man did not fall.

A surprisingly large number of inventions owe a degree of unexpected good fortune to their success. This was certainly the case with the world-famous Super Glue which is found in most households. As a matter of fact., Super Glue was invented by accident, not once – but twice!

In 1942, chemist Dr. Harry Wesley Coover Jr. was attempting to make clear plastic gun sights to be put on guns used by Allied soldiers in WWII. Dr. Coover was experimenting with a form of cryanacrylic which while clear, proved unsuited for the role as it stuck to anything it came into contact with. Dr. Coover abandoned that formulation completely as it obviously wasn’t suitable for his current project, being too sticky.

Nine Years Later…

Nine years later, in 1951, Dr. Coover was working at Eastman Kodak. He was the supervisor of a project looking at developing a heat-resistant acrylate polymer for jet canopies for jet aircraft at Kodak’s Kingsport plant in Tennessee. 

While working on the project, one of his technicians, Fred Joyner, used the rediscovered Super Glue and tested it by spreading ethyl cyanoacrylate between a pair of refractometer prisms. To his surprise, the prisms became stuck very solidly together without the need of any heat or pressure. Rediscovering the substance, Dr. Coover now realized the great potential of such a product and appreciated its attributes. He tested it on various objects within the laboratory, and sure enough it worked consistently. Providing there was a small amount of moisture on the surfaces to be bonded, the objects stuck permanently each time.

Super Glue is Born

Dr. Coover eventually registered a patent for the glue and worked on refining the product for commercial production. Super glue first went on sale in 1958 under the name Eastman 910 before later naming it “Super Glue.” Eastman 910 was soon licensed to Loctite who dubbed it Loctite Quick set 404.

During the 1970s, various manufacturers produced their own take on the fast-setting glue with the strong bond, using Coover’s cryanoacrylic formula. Today, it has many names such as Krazy Glue, Glue Stitch, and SurgeSeal – but to most people it is Super Glue. Dr. Harry Coover became known as “Mr. Super Glue,” which pleased him.

Daring Stunts

Over the years, publicity stunts demonstrating the extreme fixing power of the adhesive have been publicized. One famous advertisement was broadcast on the Russian program, Chudo Tehniki (Wonders of Technology), which showed a man dangling upside down a hot air balloon at an altitude of 5,000 feet, held only by boots super-glued to a small wooden platform!

Medical Marvel

Dr. Coover was also proud of the adhesive’s lesser known but crucial role in medicine. During the Vietnam War, field surgeons found that cyanoacrylates sprayed over wounds incurred in battle could act as an emergency method of staunching blood blow. Today, newly-developed forms of cyanoacrylates are often used in surgery to close up incisions in conjunction with or in place of traditional sutures.

Acknowledged and Awarded 

Dr. Coover worked for Eastman Kodak until he “retired” in 1984 at the age of 67. But he never slowed down. He started his own consulting company. And for nine years, he was also a board member of a large chemical company.

In 2010, Dr. Coover, who had been involved in obtaining 460 patents during his career, received the National Medal of Technology and Innovation from President Barack Obama.

  • Dr. Harry Coover

Dr. Harry Wesley Coover Jr., the inventor of Eastman 910, commonly known as Super Glue.

  • Eastman 910

Super Glue first went on sale in 1958 under the name Eastman 910.

  • One and the Same

Today, Dr. Coover’s Super Glue is available in a variety of names.

  • Super Glue Patent

A copy of Dr. Coover’s patent which was filed in 1954. 

  • Photo of Dr. Coover receiving the award from President Obama.

Dr. Harry Coover being awarded the National Medal of Technology and Innovation from President Barack Obama in 2010.

Living Emunah – Where’s My Thank-You?

Rabbi David Ashear

“…when we recognize what Hashem gives us, it opens gates for more blessing. All Hashem wants to do is give us and give us again.”

The Torah commands us to know that Hashem runs the world: There is nothing beside Him (Devarim 4:35). The Ramban at the end of Parashat Bo writes that the entire purpose of Creation was for us to realize that Hashem is our Gd and to thank Him for creating us. The Ibn Ezra writes that the purpose of the mitzvot is to bring us to love Hashem and to cling to Him. The more we have Hashem on our mind, loving and thanking Him, the better we are accomplishing our job in This World.

Hashem calls us His children. A young child thinks about his parents all the time; he needs them for everything. This is how we are supposed to feel about Hashem. We should constantly have Him on our minds, because we need Him for everything, as well.

But if the purpose of life is to recognize Hashem, what about the millions of unaffiliated Jews who were never taught about Him? How will they fulfill their purpose?

I saw a parable quoted in Emunah Sheleimah that explains this.

After Jacob was fired from his job, he was a broken man. He didn’t know how he would support himself, and he couldn’t sleep at night.

One morning, after bringing his newspaper inside, he discovered two $100 bills tucked between two pages. At first he thought they were counterfeit, but then he examined them in the sunlight and realized they were real. From that day on, he found two $100 bills inside his newspaper every single day (except Shabbat), It was like the mahn!

One morning, by accident, his neighbor switched newspapers with him. When he asked for his paper back, the neighbor told him that his son already ripped most of it. He offered Jacob to keep his intact paper, but Jacob was adamant. He went to gather the shredded paper and found his $200.

This went on for four years. His neighbors could not understand how he was surviving without a job. It looked like he was always on vacation, enjoying life, yet still managing to pay his bills.

One day, when Jacob went out to get his newspaper, a man was standing on the lawn, foot firmly planted on the paper. Jacob was about to yell at him, but the man spoke first. “Where is my thank-you?” he asked.

“What?” Jacob responded in confusion.

“I have been supporting you for four years, and not once did you come to say, Thank you!” the man complained.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Jacob replied. “I never saw you. I didn’t even know you existed.”

“That’s exactly what I’m talking about,” said the man. “For four years, you have been eating my bread, drinking my water, and you had no idea that I even exist? Not once did you bother to wake up early to see who is placing money in the newspaper?”

The same is true in our lives. Hashem gives and gives and gives. If a person doesn’t stop to think about his blessings or ask where they are coming from, he could miss Hashem. But, if a person honestly thinks about all the times he’s been helped and the myriads of blessings he has in his life, he doesn’t even need to be taught about Hashem. He will automatically recognize Him and run to say, Thank You.

Hashem does not need our recognition and gratitude. Rather, as the Sefer HaChinuch writes regarding the mitzvah of bikurim, when we recognize what Hashem gives us, it opens gates for more blessing. All Hashem wants to do is give us and give us again.

The Lighter Side – April 2025

Asking Your Age

An elderly Jewish man was called to testify in court.

“How old are you?” asked the District Attorney.

“I am, kayn aynhoreh, 81.”

“What was that?”

“I said, ‘I am, kayn aynhoreh, 81 years old.’”

“Just answer the question!” yelled the D.A., “How old are you!?”

Kayn aynhoreh, 81,” the old man replied.

The judge said, “The witness will answer the question and only the question or be held in contempt of court!”

The counsel for the defense rose and asked the judge, “Your Honor, may I ask?” He turned towards the old man and said, “Kayn aynhoreh, how old are you?”

The old man replied, “Eighty-one!”

Y. S.

A Magician in the Making

“I am going to be a famous magician,” said Eddie to his father, “because I can make a golf ball float.”

Eddie’s father was very curious. “And how do you do that?” he asked.

“Well, it’s very scientific. It requires some magic ingredients,” said Eddie.

Eddie’s father leaned forward in his chair. “Oh, really?” he said. “And what are they?”

“Well, the golf ball, of course. And then two scoops of ice cream and some root beer.”

Francine M.

Just to be Safe….

A woman goes to her doctor with some concerns about her memory. She tells him that she forgets to pay bills, mail letters, and get groceries. And she can’t remember where she’s going or what she needs when she gets there. She looks quite worried and asks her doctor, “What can I do?”

The doctor replies, “Pay me in advance.”

Ikey S.

Bicycle Trouble

The first time my son rode a bike with training wheels, I shouted, “Step back on the pedals and the bike will brake!”

He nodded but still rode straight into a bush.

“Why didn’t you push back on the pedals?” I asked, helping him up.

“You said if I did the bike would break.”

Rosie Husney

Guilty of Annoyance

A defendant isn’t happy with how things are going in court, so he gives the judge a hard time.

Judge: “Where do you work?”

Defendant: “Here and there.”

Judge: “What do you do for a living?”

Defendant: “This and that.”

Judge: “Take him away.”

Defendant: “Wait! When will I get out?”

Judge: “Sooner or later!”

 

Joey S.

Free at Last

A man who’d been in jail for 20 years began to dig a hole out of prison with nothing but his bare hands and a spoon. He dug for three days and finally got out. He ended up in a preschool, surrounded by small children. He was so happy that he shouted, “I’m free! I’m free!”

A little girl standing next to him replied, “Big deal. I’m four!”

Joseph A. Guindi

Medical Advice

A man visits his doctor and says, “Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears.”

His doctor replies, “Don’t answer!”

Jack V.

The Truant Child

Teacher: “Mrs. Jones, I asked you to come in to discuss Johnny’s appearance.”

Mrs. Jones: “Why? What’s wrong with his appearance?”

Teacher: “He hasn’t made one in this classroom since September!”

Rosie S.

Some Uncle!

A man calls his brother with a request. He says, “As you know I’m going on a business trip soon, and if my wife gives birth while I’m away, I want you to name the twins.”

“It’ll be an honor to do that for you,” replies the brother.

A month later, the brother calls with news that the twins were born. “Your wife gave birth to a beautiful girl and a handsome boy,” says the brother.

“That’s wonderful! What did you call them?” the man asks.

“I called the girl Denice,” says the brother.

“That’s very pretty. And what did you call the boy?” asks the man.

“I called the boy De nephew.”

Joey B.

A Perfect Ten

Shulem and Pessy Schechter were parents to ten children – six boys and four girls. One night, Shaindy, their oldest, was chatting with her mother about how their parenting style had changed from the first child to the last. Pessy admitted that she had mellowed a lot over the years:

“When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a nickel, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”

Sari K.

Consumer Warning

A little boy returned from the grocery store with his mom. While his mom put away the groceries, the little boy opened his box of animal crackers and spread them all over the kitchen table.

“What are you doing?” asked his mom.

“The box says you shouldn’t eat them if the seal is broken,” said the little boy. “I’m looking for the seal.”

Joseph D.

The Parking Ticket

The other day my wife and I went into town and visited a shop, browsing for a while. When we came out, there was a parking meter cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to him and I said, “Come on, man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?” He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a dimwit. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires. So my wife called him a birdbrain. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing more tickets. This went on for about ten minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Just then…our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.

Alfred Harary

Classroom Humor

Teacher: “James, do you use bad words?”

James: “No, sir.”

Teacher: “Do you disobey your parents?”

James: “No, sir.”

Teacher: “Come now, you must do something wrong every once in a while!”

James: “I tell lies.”

Gabe D.

Night Owls

Two boys were camping in the backyard. Late at night, they started wondering what time it was. “Start singing really loudly,” one of them suggested.

“How will that help?” asked the other boy.

“Just do it,” insisted the first.

They both started singing as loudly as they could. Moments later, a neighbor threw open her window and shouted, “Keep it down! Don’t you know it’s three o’clock in the morning?!”

Bobby T.

An Unlucky Break

Joey was playing in the schoolyard when he fell down and broke his right arm. His friend came running up to him with a big smile on his face. “Wow, Joey, you’re so lucky! Now you don’t have to take any exams!”

“Actually, I’m really unlucky,” replied Joey.

“What makes you say that?” the friend asked.

“I’m left-handed,” Joey moaned. “I meant to fall on my other arm.”

Carole H.

Riddles – April 2025

RIDDLE: A Long Line

Submitted by:  Alfred K.

You draw a line. Without touching the line, how do you make it a longer line?

Last Month’s Riddle: The Hidden Number

I am a three-digit number. My tens digit is five more than my ones digit. My hundreds digit is eight less than my tens digit. What number am I?

Solution:  194

Solved by:  Morris Kabani, The Big Cheese, Family Blum, Steve Salem, Janet D., Carol Ashkenazie, David E., and The Shmulster.

JUNIOR RIDDLE:  Cookie Mystery

Submitted by: Janice P.

An elementary school teacher wanted to give her students a snack. She had ten cookies in her cookie jar – which was perfect – since she had ten students in her class. The teacher gave one cookie to each student, but still managed to keep one in the jar. How did she do it without breaking any of the cookies in half?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: The More You Take 

The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?

Solution: Footsteps!

Solved by:  The Blum Family, Joshua B., Marc Esses, Morris Kabani, Eddie Fallas, Carol Ashkenazie, The Shmulster, Cynthia K., and Steve Salem.

Community Highlights – Flatbush Community Fund Distributes 12 Pallets of Purim Costumes to Hundreds of Families

In the spirit of Purim, the Flatbush Community Fund (FCF) once again stepped up for the community, distributing 12 pallets of beautiful costumes to hundreds of families last month. This annual initiative ensures that every child can experience the joy of the holiday with dignity and excitement.


Hundreds of families across Flatbush visited the distribution site, where volunteers warmly welcomed them and helped them select costumes for their children. The event was a true testament to the mission of FCF – supporting the community with care, respect, and dignity. Parents expressed immense gratitude for the opportunity to provide their children with festive costumes, allowing them to embrace the Purim celebration fully.


“I can’t begin to describe what this means for my family,” shared one grateful mother. “My children could pick out beautiful costumes, and I didn’t have to worry about how to afford them. Flatbush Community Fund always makes us feel supported and respected.”


The distribution was made even more special by the presence of dedicated volunteers, including Fred Kreizman, Commissioner of the Mayor’s Community Affairs Unit, and NYPD Captain Richie Taylor, who both rolled up their sleeves to help families find the perfect costumes.


Flatbush Community Fund remains dedicated to serving the community’s needs through innovative and compassionate initiatives. Whether through Purim costumes, food distributions, or financial assistance, FCF continues to be a pillar of support for Flatbush families. For more information about Flatbush Community Fund and how to support its programs, visit fcfund.org.


Chief Rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Shlomo Amar, Visits Magen David Yeshiva

Rabbi Eli Mansour and the Magen David Yeshiva High School Faculty and students had the honor of welcoming the Chief Rabbi of Israel, Rabbi Shlomo Amar, Shlit”a, to their yeshiva last month.

Rabbi Amar blessed the students and gave inspirational hizuk to those in attendance. The Rabbi spoke to the students about the lessons one can learn from Moshe Rabbenu – and stressed the point that even as large as Moshe was, we shouldn’t look at ourselves as small. 

One of the teachers commented, “We are in the golden hour of education, and this is the perfect time for our students to develop the fundamentals and middot that they need for the rest of their lives.”

President Trump Delivers on His Threats, Columbia University Pro-Terror Activist Mahmoud Khalil to Be Deported Following Arrest

In a decisive move that marks a new chapter in President Donald Trump’s crackdown on foreign students involved in anti-Israel protests, federal immigration authorities arrested Mahmoud Khalil, a prominent Palestinian activist, last month. This arrest follows Trump’s earlier threats to deport foreign agitators and imprison those leading the charge against the U.S.’s stance on Israel.

Khalil, who played a central role in Columbia University’s student encampment protests, was apprehended in his apartment just blocks from the prestigious Manhattan campus. The immigration authorities, acting under a State Department order, revealed their intent to revoke Khalil’s green card, a dramatic escalation in the administration’s war on radical campus activism.

Khalil, who graduated in December, had been a thorn in the side of both the university and U.S. officials for his outspoken anti-Israel stance. As one of the most visible faces of the pro-Palestinian movement on campus, he had often been vocal about his belief that Columbia benefited from “Israeli apartheid” and vowed that student resistance would persist.

His arrest follows Trump’s recent actions to place additional scrutiny on Ivy League universities, particularly Columbia. On Friday, the Trump administration announced a $400 million cut in grants and contracts to the university, blaming the school for failing to contain anti-Semitism amid campus protests. Trump’s firm stance against anti-Israel activists is clear. He has made no secret of his plan to target individuals who disrupt American interests under the guise of protest, and his administration is now delivering on those promises. As part of the crackdown, Khalil, who holds permanent residency, was detained despite his status as a legal resident, further intensifying the stakes for activists like him.

From the Files of the Bet Din

The Case

Turn of Events

Danny and Brenda were happily married for years. Danny operated a successful wholesale corporation throughout the early years of their marriage, and as a result the two enjoyed financial freedom and security. Unfortunately, tougher times arrived, and when the business suffered multiple setbacks, Danny equally divided the title of his private home to include Brenda as an owner. His intention was to somewhat protect the property from potential creditors seeking to collect payment in case of default. Two years later, Danny resorted to borrowing funds to sustain his company and signed personal liability notes to the lenders. The financial situation further deteriorated, and not only were the lenders seeking to collect their loans, but Danny and Brenda’s once happy marriage was on the verge of divorce. The two were no longer able to live peacefully together and mutually decided to terminate their marriage and they filed for a divorce. In Bet Din, the primary dispute was focused on their private home, which was listed in both of their names. Danny asserted that the property should first be sold to satisfy the outstanding debts that they accumulated, and subsequently the balance should be split. After all, the debts accumulated can largely be attributed to the high lifestyle they tried to maintain. He explained that his business capital was depleted due to their extravagant spending, which indirectly caused the company’s downfall. Furthermore, he claimed that the property was originally only in his name, which clearly indicates that he is the real owner. Brenda defended that she was not a partner in Danny’s business, and is not responsible for his debts. She said that she was unwilling to forfeit her share of the property on account of Danny’s inability to earn a living. How should the Bet Din rule and why?

Torah Law

According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, property that belongs to a married woman may not be collected by her husband’s creditors. This ruling is not limited only to property that she brought into the marriage but also includes any inheritance or gift a woman receives while married. Furthermore, even if the husband himself gave a gift to his wife, and he thereafter borrowed money, the gift is not subject to collection if the husband defaults on his loan. While it’s true that according to Torah law a husband is generally entitled to the proceeds and dividends of his wife’s property, he is nevertheless not owner of the principal property. He therefore may not sell the property or use it to satisfy his debt.

Leading contemporary halachic authorities concur with the common law regarding real estate proprietorship. Hence, the holder of the formal document known as the “deed” is the rightful owner of a property. Typically, evidence of ownership is listed in title reports, and the bearer of the title is unquestionably the legal owner. 

This ruling is applicable even in instances in which a man transfers the title of his property to his wife’s name sometime during their marriage. Even if his spouse did not render payment for her share of the property, nevertheless, the gift extended by a husband to his wife is deemed valid and legally binding.  Hence, debt accumulated may not be collected from assets that a husband transferred to his wife’s name.

Torah law requires a man to provide financial support for his wife. This responsibility is unrestricted and includes working as a menial employee to bring home earnings to cover the household budget. In instances in which a husband refuses to comply with this basic responsibility, rabbinical guidance and professional intervention are needed before bringing the matter to a Bet Din. 

Hence, even in instances in which the debt accumulated was due to a wife’s extravagant spending, her assets are not subject to collection by the husband’s creditors. Since it is the husband’s responsibility to provide for his wife, he is solely responsible for their debts. In addition, it is the husband’s duty to manage their income and regulate the household spending. 

By rule of the Shulhan Aruch, a husband and wife that borrow funds are equally accountable to return the loan extended to them if they both signed for the loan. In this case, since the wife also signed, her assets, including her Ketubah at time of divorce, are subject to collection by the lender. If, however, she did not sign the loan document, she is not responsible for payment.

A woman of valor understands her marital responsibilities and helps to maintain her husband’s financial stability. She only spends within her husband’s means, thereby building his trust and confidence throughout the course of their marriage. Excessive spending usually puts stress on a couple’s relationship and is very often the cause of divorce. As the wisest of all men wrote, “The heart of her husband safely trusts in her as her spending does not damage his financial status.” (Proverbs 31:2)

Endnotes:Shulhan Aruch Hoshen Mishpat 97:26, Shach H.M. 111:2, Yaskil Avdi  5:11, Shulhan Aruch Eben Haezer 69:1, Shulhan Aruch Hoshen Mishpat 77:10 see Netivot, Proverbs 31:2 see Eben Ezra.

VERDICT: A Clean Split

Our Bet Din ruled that Brenda is not liable for Danny’s debt. Therefore, she is entitled to her fifty percent share of their property. As mentioned in Torah law, property that belongs to a married woman may not be collected by her husband’s creditors. Since Danny listed Brenda as an equal shareholder of their private home, he may not thereafter use her share of the property to satisfy his debts without her written consent. Although Danny claimed that Brenda should bear the burden of his debt since it accumulated because of their lavish spending, our Bet Din rejected his claim. As a husband, Danny was responsible to earn and properly manage their income. Failing to regulate the budget properly and living way beyond his means is solely his liability. Upon verifying that Brenda did not sign for any of the loans extended to her husband, she was absolved of payment.  Nevertheless, our Bet Din chastised Brenda for her harsh and vicious comments regarding Danny’s inability to earn a living. Danny made every effort to earn a living; he is presently struggling by Divine decree. Additionally, Brenda was reminded that a woman of valor only spends within her husband’s means.  As excessive spending was seemingly the downfall of their marriage, it seems Brenda and Danny’s subsequent divorce could have been prevented if she’d adhered to that precept.

YOU BE THE JUDGE

On the Sneak

Bobby, Jacob, and Al were equal partners in a residential property that they purchased and renovated. Each of the three managed a different role in the partnership, which included construction work, decorating, and financing. The first serious buyer offered 2.4 million dollars for the property, enabling a distribution of 800 thousand dollars to each owner. Al rejected the offer and told the buyer that he was unwilling to sell for less than 2.7 million. However, the buyer discovered that Bobby and Jacob were ready to close at 2.4 million. Realizing that Al was the one holding back the sale, the buyer approached Al and secretly offered him 100 thousand dollars cash if he goes to contract for 2.4 million. Al agreed after making a simple calculation that the 100 thousand would bring his total to 900 thousand, the amount he was holding out for. As planned, the property sold for 2.4 million dollars, which was divided by the three partners, and Alan secretly received an additional 100 thousand dollars in cash from the buyer. Eventually, Bobby and Jacob became aware of the additional payment when reading an email sent by the buyer alluding to transfer of the cash. In Bet Din Bobby and Jacob originally requested to reverse the entire sale but afterwards claimed monetary compensation for their loss. Al defended that they readily all agreed to sell for 2.4 million, and the extra 100 thousand he received was independent of the selling price.

Are Bobby and Jacob entitled to compensation?

How should the Bet Din rule and why?

Understanding The Deal Erub

Victor Cohen

Shabbat observance, as we know, requires abiding by numerous restrictions, many of which are well-known to all those accustomed to observing Shabbat. For example, we are keenly aware of the prohibitions against cooking, kindling a fire, using electronic devices, and even handling certain things which are classified as muktzeh. But one of the Shabbat prohibitions that might not be very familiar to observant Jews in today’s day and age is the prohibition against carrying objects into or through the public domain. Many Jews today live in communities with an erub – a symbolic enclosure that, ostensibly, allows for carrying within the area surrounded by the erub. The community in Deal, NJ is one such community, which benefits from an erub.

Unfortunately, however, many people mistakenly assume that this erub grants unrestricted permission to carry on Shabbat. The truth is that the erub relies on leniencies to permit carrying for health and safety purposes, and does not provide a blanket permission to carry.

To understand how the Deal erub works and which kind of carrying it permits, I had the privilege of interviewing Rabbi Nissim Basala, one of the creators of the Deal erub, who continues to maintain and oversee it even today.

The History of the Deal Erub

The process to build the Deal erub began in 1998. Thanks to the efforts of Rabbi Isaac Dwek, Mr. Jack Adjmi, Solly Dweck, and a number of other individuals, the erub was launched in the summer of 1999. It was expanded several times throughout the years, and now surrounds an area of over 24 square miles, extending into sections of Long Branch, Brighton Avenue, and some parts of West Allenhurst. The erub has been down only on very rare occasions, such as after Hurricane Sandy, which took the erub down for around a year.

Rav Moshe Heineman from Baltimore, one of America’s preeminent halachic scholars, was brought to authorize the erub, and he spent three days walking the entire length of the erub to assure its validity. The erub was inspected also by Rav Avraham Moshe Katzenelbogen, the rabbi who oversees the Jerusalem erub. Rabbi Basala says that he consults with Rav Moshe Heineman’s younger brother, Rav Shmuel Heineman – who runs the Star-K Hechsher in the New York/New Jersey area – with regard to erub-related matters.

The Four Shabbat Domains

Just as maps show different kinds of areas – residential, commercial, public, etc. – halachah similarly recognizes four different domains with respect to the prohibition of carrying on Shabbat:

  1. Reshut hayahid – private property, referring to homes and other enclosed properties.
  2. Reshut harabim – a public thoroughfare.
  3. Karmelit – a public area that does not meet the qualifications of a reshut harabim, because of its size or the relatively little traffic passing through it (see below).
  4. Makom patur – a small area such as a fire hydrant or a small ditch in the ground.

Inside a reshut hayahid, of course, carrying is permissible. However, Torah law forbids bringing something from a reshut hayahid into a reshut harabim, or vice-versa – from a reshut harabim into a reshut hayahid. Torah law also forbids carrying within a reshut harabim. Carrying from a reshut hayahid into a karmelit, or from a karmelit into a reshut hayahid, is forbidden miderabbanan – by force of rabbinic enactment. It is similarly forbidden miderabbanan to carry within a karmelit,

An erub is effective in halachically converting a karmelit into a reshut hayahid; the enclosure around the karmelit allows us to regard the enclosed area as a private domain, thereby sidestepping the rabbinic prohibitions against carrying within a karmelit, carrying from a karmelit into a reshut hayahid, and carrying from a reshut hayahid to a karmelit. Once the karmelit has been “downgraded” to a reshut hayahid through erub, all these become permissible.

Significantly, an erub has no effect on a reshut harabim. If an area is halachically defined as a public thoroughfare, then the construction of an erub does not allow carrying on Shabbat within this area, or to or from this area.

Hence, in order to determine whether an erub can be effective in a given area, we must determine whether halachah treats this area as a karmelit or as a reshut harabim.

The Differing Opinions, and Why They Matter

The Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 345:7) brings two opinions regarding the definition of a reshut harabim. According to the first opinion, any area that is 25 feet wide or larger qualifies as a reshut harabim. The second opinion, by contrast, maintains that a public area does not qualify as a reshut harabim unless 600,000 people or more pass through it in a day. The question of whether streets in Deal are to be regarded as a reshut harabim or a karmelit – and, by extension, the question of whether an erub is effective in permitting carrying in Deal – hinges on this debate. According to the first view, a large public area qualifies as a reshut harabim, and thus suburban neighborhoods such as Deal, despite their relatively quiet streets and little traffic, must be treated as a reshut harabim, where an erub is ineffective. The second view, however, would allow constructing an erub in places such as Deal that does not see heavy volume passing through them.

In other words: according to the first opinion, bringing a small object outside one’s home in Deal on Shabbat would constitute a Torah violation, just like cooking on Shabbat, despite the erub. According to the second view, this is entirely permissible.

Who is the Erub For?

In light of these differing opinions, Rabbi Basala explained that the Deal erub was erected not to grant a blanket license to carry on Shabbat, but rather for the benefit of those who have a particular need to carry, that justifies relying on the lenient position.

“It was intended for someone, who, let’s say, needs to carry medicine in their pocket,” Rabbi Basala said, “or who need some sort of walker.” By contrast, he clarified, the erub “wasn’t meant to cover people playing basketball.”

Secondly, as Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, writes in a responsum on the subject, “You should build the erub to save people who don’t know they are violating Shabbat.” Many people are unfamiliar with this prohibition, and so an erub should be erected so they are protected from Shabbat desecration, at least according to the lenient view quoted by the Shulhan Aruch.

Thus, the erub was created for people who need it, and to protect people who are unaware of this prohibition. It is not set up for casual carrying.

In fact, Rabbi Basala said that he himself does not use the erub, even though he leads an entire team dedicated to ensuring it is up each week.

The rabbi emphasized the responsibility we all have to familiarize ourselves with the halachot of Shabbat. He noted the well-known comment of the Hafetz Haim (Rav Yisrael Meir Kagan of Radin, 1839-1933), in his Mishnah Berurah, that learning the laws of Shabbat is an indispensable prerequisite to the proper observance of Shabbat. This is relevant also to the prohibition of carrying. One cannot willfully decide to not know about this issue so he can rely on the erub without any restrictions.

Rabbi Basala concluded by emphasizing two other points relevant to the use of the Deal erub.

First, he wishes to remind everybody that the erub does not allow handling muktzeh items, such as an umbrella. Relying on the erub allows carrying permissible objects, not items classified as muktzeh. It is imperative to educate oneself about the topic of muktzeh to know which objects may not be handled under which circumstances.

Secondly, the fact that “Deal has an erub” does not mean that the entire town is encircled by the erub. Those who rely on the erub may do so only after ascertaining that the area where they will carry is indeed included in the erub. Maps are available for this purpose.

All are encouraged to check the status of the Deal erub, and to sign up for the mailing list, at http://www.njerub.org/, where the information is updated weekly. Updates are also available by phone at 732-660-1001.