– Avi Kumar.

As we approach the 75th anniversary of the founding of the State of Israel and the 1948 War of Independence, we honor those who bravely volunteered to fight to bring to reality the 2,000-year-old dream of returning to Zion with sovereignty. Seventy-five years since the victory, as the fighters are aging (some are over 100!), we asked a number of Sephardic fighters to share with Community Magazine their memories and stories of their contributions towards Israel’s successful fight for nationhood. 92-year-old Tsiona Dreimann stated simply, “We had to fight for our own survival.” 

At the outbreak of the 1948 war, many Jews in Israel were already in local militias such as the Haganah, the Irgun, or Lehi (listed in order from more mainstream to more radical in outlook) and they were already experienced at keeping the hostile British and Arab forces at bay. These militias were joined by foreign volunteers from across the globe who came to join in fighting to the protect the Jewish homeland.   

Ezra Yakhine – Lehi 

Ezra Yakhine’s father was from Aleppo, Syria and his mother came from Egypt. He decided to join Lehi at the age of 15, but had difficulty tracking down  this clandestine group. “Unlike Haganah, which had gone more ‘mainstream,’ Lehi members were harder to find,” he said. One day, Yakhine heard a rumor that a Brith Hashmonaim movement group of religious youth in the Bukaharan quarter in Jerusalem had Lehi members within its ranks. He investigated and was able to locate them. After seeing how the British police tracked down many of Yahkine’s comrades, he decided to go by the codename of Elnakam. Since Yakhine  worked in a post office, he was a huge asset to the underground.  

Lehi training had to be very discrete. Although the weapons were at their “safe house” the group did not shoot live rounds for practice. Rather, they improvised different ways to practice their shooting. “If we fired a gun during practice and the neighbors heard, we would be done for,” Yakhine said. “You never know, even a Jewish neighbor would call the police if it was too loud or they were in a rival militia.”  

He and his brother Yehoshua were Lehi members, while another brother, David, joined the Irgun. Yakhine did not know that David was in a member of the Irgun until they met by chance at a joint drill. On many occasions, Yakhine miraculously avoided capture, or worse, had the British found him carrying weapons. On a mission to disarm British police on Ben Yehuda Street in Jerusalem, Yakhine was wounded in the thigh. On another operation to break into the Old City, he was seriously wounded in the head, causing blindness in his right eye. 

“Our goal was to strike fear into the hearts of the British. We blew up strategic posts, trains, and even planes if we could. We even managed to send a package bomb disguised as a present in London, in an effort to assassinate a police officer who had killed one of our members.”  

Tsiona Dreimann – Lehi 

Tsiona Dreimann (née Dramy) was born in Palestine in 1931 to parents of olim. Her father was a tzaddik from Tehran, her mother was Ashkenazi. She joined the right wing paramilitary group known as Lehi in 1945, when she was 14 years old. She said, “When they killed Itzik Stern, I decided to join the more right-wing Lehi. The British were oppressing the Jews terribly, and we simply had to do something. I felt that Lehi was the best option.”  

Dreimann was tasked to put up posters and to hand out fliers to gather new recruits into the militia. Doing so was very dangerous. “One time, while we were on our rounds the British police on patrol saw us. I almost got arrested, or worse,” she recalls. She later got work as a nurse, married a fellow Lehi member, and lives in Jerusalem today.  

Itzik Mizrachi – the Haganah 

Itzik Mizrachi, now aged 90, was in Gadna, a youth movement set up by the Haganah. He grew up in the Arab village Al-Eisawiye near  Mount Scopus, and his first language is Arabic. Although the war broke out in May of 1948, his family stayed on in the village until August because the road leading to the Jewish side was not safe to traverse. One day, an Arab mob came to their house. Mizrachi’s family shared a home with his father’s Arab business partner, Abu Mustafa. Mizrachi remembers clearly how Abu Mustafa refused to let the mob in. With outstretched arms he told the mob, “You have to get past me.” The mob then left. Mizrachi still has fond childhood memories of the time before the war, and he recalls that he and Abu Mustafa’s son were “like brothers.”   

Not long after that incident with the Arab mob, Mizrachi recalls the family’s escape. “Haganah members came to our home in an armored car and said, ‘It’s very dangerous for you to be here. You have only 20 minutes, pack up whatever you can, because we have to leave fast.’ And so, just like that we packed up and left.” Mizrachi,  his parents, and sister were escorted by armored car to the Israeli side.  

The family acquired a house in Bukharan quarter of Jerusalem. The home was by the Jordanian border, where snipers fired at Jews from their side of the border every day. The Mizrachi family filled up sacks with sand to cover the windows to protect them from bullets. One time Mizrachi recalls the sacks caught fire when a bullet hit. He narrowly missed being shot on many occasions.  

Mizrachi remembers learning KAPAP (Krav Panim el Panim – literally: face-to-face combat) the martial art developed in the late 1930s and used by the Haganah. Mizrachi recalled that much of the training included learning stick-fighting. He said that many instructors were young, just like their students. Although Mizrachi was not a full-fledged member of the Haganah, he worked transferring letters between posts by bicycle..  

Mizrachi later moved to a kibbutz where he lives to this day. When he joined the IDF he  learned the more modern martial art, Krav Maga, from Krav Maga’s founder, Imi Lechtenfeld. Mizrachi’s son Rhon  is a well-known Krav Maga   instructor. 

Moshe Abadie – the Haganah 

Moshe Abadie was also in the Haganah. His parents made Aliyah from Aleppo. Aided by a smuggler, Abadie’s parents walked all the way from Syria to British Mandatory Palestine via Lebanon in the early 1920s via Lebanon. Abadie was born in Jerusalem. 

When asked why he joined the Haganah, Abadie replied, “We had no choice but to fight.” The Haganah members knew about the Holocaust, and Abadie had personally met Holocaust survivors who recounted what had happened to them in Europe. Also, unlike Lehi, the more left-wing Haganah had gone more mainstream and was more able to work around the British colonial establishment. 

Abadie attributes Israel’s miraculous victory to the training and dedication of its own people. He felt that Israel had a stronger advantage in the later wars, such as in 1956 and 1967. After the 1948 war, Abadie helped found Moshav Tal Shahar (literally Mountain Dew), which was named after Robert Morgenthau (Former U.S. Secretary of Treasury) whose last name in German also means “mountain dew.” 

Machal

Many volunteers came from across the world to fight in the volunteer unit known as Machal (an acronym for Mitnadvei Chutz L’Aretz – Volunteers from Abroad). Most of the overseas volunteers had served in the Allied Forces during World War II, and they brought their much-needed expertise to the fledgling IDF. Some 4,000 volunteers, mostly Jews and also a few non-Jews, arrived to help the fight. Most were from the U.S., UK, and South Africa. Nina Pope came from Burma and is of Iraqi descent. At least seven foreign fighters from Syria joined, including Linda Assas, Raphael Zanul, and Baruch Kaposo. Other Sephardic Jews came to assist the Israeli cause from Turkey, Iran, Latin America, France, Belgium, Netherlands, and even Germany and the far-flung corners of the Diaspora. Some of the Machal volunteers were Holocaust survivors. 

South African “machalnik” Joe Woolf remembers a man in his unit, the English-speaking B company, named Ezra Macmull, who was nicknamed Gandhi. “He was of Iraqi descent and grew up in India. That’s why we called him ‘Gandhi.’”

Woolf recalls seeing a few Indian Jews in different units, including one in the radar unit. “But Gandhi stood out,” Woolf recalled. Macmull had a grandmother named Miriam, who lived in Jerusalem and spoke Arabic. Because of Miriam he could speak the language, which allowed him to communicate with Arab prisoners of war who were captured as they battled on the northern front.  

Forces Combine to Form the IDF 

On May 28th, 1948, less than two weeks after the creation of the State of Israel, the provisional government created the Israeli Defense Forces.  

Menachem Begin, former commander of the Irgun, followed the advice of Robert Briscoe, an Irish statesman and supporter of Israel. Briscoe used his own experiences of Ireland’s civil war to convince Begin to abandon the Irgun as a separate militia and to join the three militias together. As the different militias merged, they all brought in their expertise and training into a common goal as members of the IDF.  

Yakhine says, “We failed to retake Jerusalem but the next generation succeeded where we failed 19 years later in the Six Day War.” 

Dreimann added “At the end of the day, we now have a state to call our home.”

Do you think twice now before making a recipe that calls for three or more eggs? Silly to think that such a cheap, common kitchen staple has become such a hot topic lately, but folks it’s 2023, and here we are.  

Eggs. If you don’t buy groceries and live under a rock, allow me to enlighten you – eggs are no longer the affordable protein option. In fact, egg prices are soaring over 60 to 100 percent this year. So, what’s to blame? Some media outlets keep pushing the idea that a bird flu or avian flu is running rampant and is forcing farmers to kill chickens, causing the egg shortage and rise in prices. However, chicken farmers are claiming it’s something else entirely. According to many farmers posting on social media, their healthy chickens suddenly stopped producing daily eggs around the end of last summer. Chickens that were laying two to three eggs daily suddenly just stopped. This continued for months until the farmers switched from commercial feed to local chicken feed and the issue disappeared.  

Strange as it may seem, this happened to  many farms around the country. I’d also like to mention that many large food plants had strange disasters and burned down in the past year. This includes a commercial egg farm in central Connecticut that burned down recently due to causes unknown killing an estimated 100,000 chickens. The Animal Welfare Institute, a Washington, D.C.-based animal protection advocacy organization, speculated that heating and other electrical malfunctions cause a large majority of barn fires. So, what’s going on? I’ll leave you to speculate and draw your own conclusions.  

Meanwhile, let’s hear from some community members and get their take on the topic. 

Jill Dushey  

For about eight years we were buying fresh eggs from a small farm in Lakewood, NJ. We prefer buying from local small farms, as their eggs are fresher and more nutritious. We always toyed with the idea of having our own coop. Then, two summers ago, my friend was moving back to Brooklyn at the end of the summer. They had bought chicks just for fun and asked me to take and house them. “Now or never!” I thought and I took the chickens, jumping in without consulting my husband.  

Fortunately, he was up to the task! He built a chicken coop and we never looked back!  

Maintenance can be as difficult or as simple as you make it. The most pesky task I would say is cleaning out the coop to keep it sanitary, but that can be done once a day, once a month, or any amount of time in between – so it’s really up to you. We go out daily or every other day in the winter to collect eggs. The nice thing about owning chickens is if you’re going away, you don’t need a sitter. You can leave them with food and water while you’ll be gone and they’ll be fine. You need a coop, some chicks, work boots or rain boots, and an egg collecting basket. That’s really the bulk of it. There are many podcasts and resources to learn how to properly maintain a coop. Great for tips and overall education. 

We eat and use eggs from the coop, and whatever eggs we have extra, we sell to local community members. As far as what we feed the chickens – the bulk of it is scraps from veggies and leftovers from dinners that no one will touch. Basically, what some people would collect for compost, we collect for the chickens. The rest we supplement with organic chicken feed. I for sure feel like the cost of running a coop is nothing compared to what we’re saving from not buying grocery store eggs. And that’s aside from all the other benefits. 

Some of the other benefits are: The quality of the eggs you consume are so much better. It gives you appreciation of where your food comes from as well. It’s also good for the kids – easy chores for kids to be responsible, while connecting with nature, and enjoying chickens! They all have their own funny personalities. We really enjoy them! 

Patty Cohen 

Just last year, I remember buying a dozen eggs at Aldi in Deal for only 69 cents! Now at the same Aldi, they’re almost $5 a dozen, and that’s nothing compared to the Brooklyn stores!  

I’ve seen eggs go for around $7-10 a dozen! I’ve been buying the 24-pack at Costco for around $7. That’s the best deal I’ve seen. It’s really ridiculous. I’m not sure what it’s going to be like come holiday time.  

Before Pesach, I (and I’m sure everyone) stock up big time on eggs. We use them for the seder, for spanach, for quick and easy breakfast and lunch staples, and for all the family members who are home and living by us for 8 days – we go through at ton! It’s no longer the cheaper protein or ingredient. Unfortunately, it’s an expense in its own right. It doesn’t help that food plants and egg farms are exploding left and right, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence either.  

Whoever has space should for sure own their own chicken coop and grow whatever they can in their own gardens because it’s becoming clear we can’t depend on anything these days!  

Shirly Shweky 

I’m a home baker. I sell desserts to community members for Shabbat. This topic hits a sore spot for me and I’m sure all bakers. I use eggs in everything! I go through so many eggs when I work. I don’t want to raise my prices because I feel like it’s unfair to my customers, but the egg prices keep rising and it seems impractical to go on like this! Something really should be done! My small business depends on it! 

—— 

There is so much to be said about the topic! The main thing to remember is Hashem is in control and ultimately everything will be okay. I am, however, strongly considering a chicken coop now after my interview with Jill. I always liked the idea, but after asking my questions and liking the answers she was giving, I’m even more interested! But for now, I’ll just buy some of her fresh eggs. I am so curious what’s going to happen next. The shortages seem random. The pandemic is behind us and with the right leadership I think there’s no reason things shouldn’t be “business as usual” as pre-pandemic. I’d say pray for better leadership but let’s just pray for Mashiach! Okay, I’m signing off until next time!  

Have a comment about this article or an idea for my next roundtable article? Email me! Frieda@sephardic.org 

Frieda Schweky is an event and portrait photographer @friedaschwekyphoto. 

“Let’s pile everything on!” shouted Boris. “We’ve got a couple more boxes to get on this wagon before we can hit the road!”  

Boris and Feema, a pair of Russian Jews in business together, were preparing for an important three-day business voyage. They  spent all morning loading up their horse and buggy for the long trip ahead. 

After hours of vigorous preparation, the two finally set off. After just a few moments, Feema, the more dull-minded Russian peddler, leaned over to grab some of the luggage that lay by their feet, placing it securely on his lap. 

“Why are you putting the luggage on your lap?” asked Boris. “Is there something inside that you need?” 

“No…” Feema replied. “I just… I want to keep it safe.” Boris rolled his eyes, annoyed as usual by his imprudent counterpart. 

Their journey continued for nine straight hours. Boris and Feema  fervently hoped they would meet with success in the bustling town of Voronezh. They prayed that their fate would turn for the good. Later, during the otherwise uneventful journey, Boris again noticed Feema lean forward to take some more baggage from the wagon floor. 

“What is it, Feema?! Why do you insist on keeping luggage on your lap?! Just leave everything on the wagon floor. It will be just fine! For goodness sake, it’s heavy! Surely you must be uncomfortable holding all that weight in your lap!”  

Feema sighed, and admitted the reason for his actions. 

“Well, Boris… I can’t help thinking about our poor horse.” 

“What about the horse?!” Boris demanded. “Sasha is doing just fine. There is nothing my Sasha can’t handle!” 

“Yes Boris, but… There’s just so much luggage, and our trip so long. I can’t bear to watch old Sasha pull such a heavy burden. I decided to help her, and take some of the load off by putting it on my lap.” 

Boris’s face grew red and his anger flared. “You fool!” he yelled. “Whether the luggage is on your lap, or on the wagon floor, it is the horse that is bearing the heavy load!” 

Feema realized the foolishness of his actions, yet just hours later, he was moving luggage to his lap once more. Obviously, he was a man of short memory. 

It Is Hashem Who Carries Our Burdens 

This, dear reader, is the story of our lives. It is the way many of us act in our service to Hashem.  

It is no secret that each and every one of us has his share of headaches, and a unique array of problems that arise throughout our lives. We think, we worry, we cry, and most times take the problem into our own hands. We put the luggage into our own laps, completely forgetting that whether we leave it on the wagon floor, or try and carry it ourselves, Hashem is the one who bears the problem. 

And if, dear reader, this is the truth, then why do we insist on taking things into our own hands? Aren’t we aware, as Boris reminded his foolish counterpart, that the weight is being carried either way?! Why take our problems into our own hands?! 

The Lesson of Pesach  

This is precisely what the holiday of Pesach comes to teach us. Throughout the year we are constantly bombarded with different stresses and difficulties. Some big, some small, sometimes even unbearable pain and confusion. Comes the holy, beautiful seder night, when Gd reminds us, “Hello?! Why do you insist on taking on this problem by yourself?! Put the luggage down, My child, for this is My burden to bear.” 

“Imo anochi betzarah” (Tehillim 91:15). Hashem is with us in all that we face. Our job is to know that although He created the difficulty, He is undoubtedly here with us, carrying our “luggage” whether we try and carry it ourselves or not. Pesach is our reminder to drop the luggage. As David Hamelech says, “Hashlech al Hashem yehavecha vehu yechalkeleka – Throw your burden on Hashem, and He will provide” (Tehillim 55:23). 

Just as Hashem took us out of Egypt, away from the most miserable suffering in our history, He will continue to help Am Yisrael generally, as well as each and every one of us in our personal lives. 

May the message of Pesach, the message of realizing that Hashem is carrying all our headaches and hardships for us, last us till next year, and may we not forget this vital message as Feema did, amen.  

Last month, we established that children who have ADHD or other behavioral difficulties present specific challenges in parenting. These children may seem manipulative, attention-seeking, stubborn, or defiant, but you know that they have a very caring and sensitive side to them as well. 

You can successfully parent these kids – without losing your mind or your relationship with them – by tweaking the general parenting advice that you’ve already learned to fit their characteristics. 

As we discussed in previous articles, one fundamental concept in parenting is setting very clear boundaries and sticking to them. This is especially important for kids who are natural black-and-white thinkers and thrive with (and even crave) consistency and structure. They may continuously attempt to negotiate – like all kids, but often more tenaciously – and that is why it is even more crucial to stand your ground, kindly but firmly. Wishy-washiness will be your ultimate undoing! 

To illustrate: an associate of mine once witnessed a clearly non-Jewish woman telling her young child that he couldn’t have the candy at the checkout “because it’s not kosher!” When she saw my associate watching bemusedly, she expressed that that line always worked when Jewish parents used it on their children, so she gave it a try. 

Our children know, from a young age, that we will not buy them non-kosher candy. Full stop. As a result, they won’t argue when we tell them they can’t have it because it’s not kosher. 

That’s how decisive and firm we must be in setting all boundaries. Effective parenting (yes, it needs to be both parents!) depends on the parents’ actions far more than the child’s personality or challenges. 

For the typical child with ADHD, that means working with their black-and-white tendencies by being extra clear and consistent. “Maybe” is not an option for these kids: yes is yes, no is no, and there should not be anything in between. When you make a decision, stick with it and be sure that you and your spouse are both going to be firm. No discussing, no debates, just a yes or no. Logical explanations and reasoning will not work on a child who gets stuck easily or has trouble processing. 

For example: 

You’re dreading your child’s upcoming vacation. She needs constant stimulation and every day off turns into a nightmare. It’s your responsibility to anticipate those difficulties and structure the day. Do not expect her to entertain herself like your other kids can. Plan out the day. It doesn’t have to be grand or exciting, but it must be structured. We’re eating lunch at 12 and going to the supermarket at 2. Let’s make ice cream sandwiches for our afternoon snack and have a Magna-Tiles-building competition in the morning.  

This particular daughter may be able to sit and build incredible castles for hours, but she needs you to facilitate it. Just be sure to stick with the structure and routine that you put in place, even if your nature is more laid-back. She needs to see that your word is your word. And if you are truly unable to provide the structure that she craves on her day off, expect there to be fighting, destructiveness, or other negative behaviors! Remember: this is “normal” for your child. Don’t expect her to be who she isn’t. Keeping your expectations realistic will prevent frustration. 

Those realistic expectations extend into your everyday parenting and discipline. Know what works for your child and work with that. For these kids, it’s fairly simple: motivating a behavior needs an incentive attached, and restricting a behavior needs consistent consequences that fit the behavior. Because effective incentives and consequences vary among cultures, homes, and children, it may be a good idea to consult with a professional to determine which incentives and consequences would be most effective. 

Children with ADHD thrive in environments with structure, stimulation, and rewards and consequences. You may need to work with your child’s school to ensure that he is placed in the appropriate class, with a structured and firm teacher who is willing to work with his needs. 

Contrary to popular belief, ADHD is one of the most underdiagnosed conditions in children, despite the fact that it’s often easily treatable with evidence-based methods. While proper parenting is critical, for most people with ADHD, medication is life changing. A child who spends all day unable to perform, behave appropriately, or get along with others will inevitably experience low self-esteem and negative behaviors, like addiction and other emotion-numbing tactics, remaining mired in a mindset of “I’m going to fail.” The right medication can completely alter his or her life – now and in the future.

Dr. Yossi Shafer, PhD is the Clinical Director and a clinical psychologist at Empower Health Center, a private practice of multispecialty psychotherapists. They have offices in Deal/Long Branch and Lakewood and can be reached at (732) 666-9898 or office@empowerhealthcenter.net. 

Deborah Haddad Shichat accomplished three impressive goals as an entrepreneur. She created a unique beauty service, she caters to a global clientele, and she achieves 100 percent client satisfaction.  

Although she is originally from New Jersey, her family made aliyah.  Deborah completed her education, married, and is raising her two girls with her husband in Israel. Anyone who lives there knows it is not always easy building a successful business in Israel.  

Her achievements warranted a closer look. 

When I asked Deborah how she came up with the idea to launch her skin care consultancy business, she explained that it started organically. “One day I looked in the mirror and didn’t like the way my skin appeared,” she says.  After the great attention and money spent caring for her face it didn’t make sense. At the time she thought, “Either skin care products are a scam or I’ve been doing something wrong.” 

That thought propelled her into extensive research and reading, as well as following respected chemists, dermatologists, and skin care product formulators. Then, using what she learned, she began putting together a different regimen for her own face, which resulted in great looking skin. At that point, Deborah began to put together regimens for family and friends and they were amazed by the improvements. Buoyed by the consistent results achieved, Deborah began putting together skincare programs for anyone who asked. She was not charging people for her services. 

 Deborah doesn’t rush into anything. She is analytical and methodical. Therefore, she proceeded to enroll in a two-year program at one of Israel’s finest academies to become a licensed paramedical esthetician. Then, after 628 hours of rigorous training, she received her license. GLO with Deb was born out of her desire to show all women everywhere how to use everyday products to maintain their skin so it looks great.  She began charging clients for her expertise. 

 In her first year, Deborah acquired over fifty clients. Most were women who noticed their skin wasn’t looking quite as good as it did previously. Women might not want surgical interventions, especially when they are younger, but they do want to take care of their skin in the best way possible. Another but smaller category are women who have skin conditions that require them to seek out unique beauty regimens. Men can also care about their skin and male clients seek skin care regimens as well. 

Deborah’s business is virtual. She sells no products and does not earn a cent from any company or product line. She continually researches all the off-the-shelf formulations available in the client’s country, respects the client’s budget, and puts together a winning regimen every time. 

Her clients are primarily located in Europe, the United States, and Israel, but she has clientele from other countries as well. 

Deborah’s clients see improvements. They tend to return after one year. Sometimes there are changes to their environment, weather, diet, or the products themselves. Any of these changes might affect the skin’s appearance. Sometimes a woman just wants to freshen up her regimen. The important thing is that the clients return because they got terrific results the first time and want to keep their skin looking great. 

Deborah says, “In business, a professional appearance is essential. The first thing people see is your face. If your skin looks great, you feel more confident, you make a better impression, you are more successful.” It was this thinking that moved her to expand her offerings. Deborah caters to individuals but has recently introduced several corporate programs as well. 

When I asked what surprised her most, Deborah said it was that women enthusiastically accepted a virtual skin care service. 

Deborah’s biggest challenge was product availability. Some Asian products are not permitted in some countries. Sometimes there are shipping limits on certain brands and products. Deborah met these issues by identifying equally good products that are available in the client’s country. She recalls, “I remember having a client in Europe who needed to be able to find all her recommended products locally. I did the research and identified the items she needed that she could buy off-the-shelf in her local municipality.” 

That’s why Deborah and her consultancy business are unique. There are so many products and companies out there vying to earn your dollars. Deborah studies her client’s skin and researches the products, so she understands which products are the best fit for each individual. By virtue of her training, experience, and client input, Deborah distills the information to deliver results, every time.  

You can visit @GLOwithdeb or GLOwithdeb.com

 ************************** 

If you want to discuss your business, please contact PROPEL 

Call: 646-494-0822 / Email: info@thepropelnetwork.org or 

DM on Instagram: @PropelNetwork 

Sephardic Bikur Holim (SBH) and its team of staff and volunteers have always risen to the call of duty, meeting the numerous and evolving needs of the community as it continues to grow.  

One of the vitally important causes that SBH has, unfortunately, been called upon to address in recent years is the silent crisis of abuse – unwanted physical contact – an ill that affects both children and adults. The scourge of abuse has led SBH to expand  Courage to Heal (CTH), a comprehensive program focused on therapeutic intervention to support survivors, and on abuse prevention through education. 

Survivors who reach out to SBH receive not only professional support, but also a comprehensive plan of care, utilizing the large number of programs and services offered by the organization, a holistic approach to ensure a successful recovery.  

“We at SBH have done extensive research to build a team of best-in-class professionals with which to offer a full, 360-degree solution to deal with prevention, education, training, and awareness, as well as offering therapeutic support from highly-trained clinicians along with highly-trained community volunteers,” said SBH President David J. Beyda, who has made the expansion of CTH one of the organization’s top priorities. 

Survivors of abuse can receive the help they need from SBH’s CTH and the Counseling Center, which is staffed by a cohort of trained trauma-informed clinicians under the supervision of Certified Clinical Trauma Professional Dr. Gavriel Fagin, an expert in the treatment of this type of abuse. By seeking support from SBH CTH, survivors will receive a comprehensive plan that utilizes the many programs and services offered by SBH and other community organizations. 

“I feel privileged and honored to be part of a team that is helping to train and prepare the next generation of therapists to address abuse in our community,” says Dr. Fagin, who serves as Clinical Consultant for Courage to Heal. 

Education & Awareness 

Additionally, CTH is committed to working toward eliminating abuse by offering extensive educational training to the community and its institutions. Through SBH’s partnership with Magen Yeladim, a program created by internationally-recognized trauma professional Debbie Fox, LCSW, CTH will educate teachers, school and camp administrators, parents, students, and rabbis on ways to prevent abuse and to empower survivors to ask for help.  

“Developing comprehensive prevention services, trauma-focused intervention for children, teens and adults, and community awareness programs for camps, schools, shuls, and rabbinic leadership, are all facets of a comprehensive program that many have dreamed of for years,” said Dr. Fagin. “And now, SBH is actualizing this dream.”     

SBH is working with the support of SIMHA and SAFE to offer education, guidance and resources to our community.  

“It was truly encouraging to see how SBH took the lead on this sensitive subject, enlisting the best people in this field, looking for the best practices and building on the experience of other communities that have been successful in this area,” said Rabbi David Sutton, Director and Co-Founder of SIMHA.  

Rabbi Sutton noted the robust support that this initiative has received from our community’s rabbinical leaders, many of whom have endorsed the program, demonstrating their understanding of the sensitivity and urgency of this silent crisis.  

“Their ability to galvanize many community rabbis around this cause was very heartening, and I am sure that with this communal force, we will be able to alleviate some of the pain and prevent it from happening in the future,” said Rabbi Sutton. 

Uniting the Stakeholders 

Dr. Shloimie Zimmerman, clinical psychologist and Director of the Rabbinic Clinical Training Program for SIMHA, is consulting for the SBH CTH team to help implement the best preventative and clinical training for the community.  

“Research and experience clearly demonstrate that the most efficient way to enhance a community’s safety and prevent abuse is to unite all the stakeholders in their mission to address these critical issues,” said Dr. Zimmerman. “It is incredibly heartening and inspiring to see the Syrian community mobilizing and uniting in this effort; rabbinic, organizational, professional and lay leadership are working in tandem, with SBH at the helm, to bring the best prevention and intervention professionals and methods to aid the community.” 

The leaders spearheading this initiative hope that these impressive collaborative efforts as a unified front will encourage survivors to reach out for help, echoed SAFE founder and CEO Ike Dweck.  

“SAFE is proud to be a part of this groundbreaking initiative, working together to provide our community with much-needed support for survivors and preventative programs to protect our children,” he said. “Together we can destigmatize the painful subject of abuse and help affected community members to rebuild their lives.” 

With the support of SBH’s team of professionals, including Shlomo Lieberman, LCSW, director of the Mental Health Division; Dr. Susan Schmool, director of the Mental Health Resource; Dr. Ayla Sitt, CTH chair; and Cara M. R. London, LMSW, trauma therapist and CTH coordinator, the organization is fully equipped to serve as a trusted resource to protect our community. As Mr. Beyda concludes, “Courage to Heal is not the type of program we ever want to believe is necessary, but in the event that it is, SBH is ready to help.” 

To get help for yourself or someone you know, or to schedule a training program for your community institution, contact Courage to Heal at 718-787-0009 or cth@sbhonline.org. All calls and emails are kept strictly confidential.

The countdown is on. Pesach is just around the corner, and you may feel like you should put on sneakers, since you’re literally racing against the clock. Though you’ve done the Pesach cleaning once over, and your house is kind of clean, you’ve still got lots of crumbs to conquer and only a week-and-a-half remaining.  

So in an effort to get started, you don your apron, pick up the dust-buster, and grab a roll of paper towels. And as you catch a glimpse of your reflection in the hallway mirror, you know what this means: Operation Purge the Hametz has begun, and you are prepared for battle. Ready or not, Pesach is coming.  

Ladies (and gentlemen!), we’re all in the same boat. Whether you live in a three-bedroom apartment or a three-floor home, it’s time to do some serious Pesach cleaning. Because before you blink, it will be seder night, and at that point your home had better be hametz-free. Consider yourself as an army-general on a series of highly important missions, and hametz is the enemy. 

Mission 1: Empty Those Cupboards 

Granola bars out, matzah in. It’s time to get rid of every last cracker, pretzel, and Cheerio from your pantry. So enlist your kids – and maybe the neighbor’s kids, too – and get snacking. In the event that the group of children you have invited to your hametz-fest can’t seem to devour it all, send your kids to school with the extras. The perpetual snack-forgetters won’t be able to thank you enough. Another way to get rid of all the not-for-Pesach foods is to lay them out on a table in your kitchen. As the members of your family pass them by, they may be overcome with a serious case of the munchies.  

Once the shelves that used to hold cans, boxes, and jars of hametz are bare, it is time to check for crumbs. Clean each shelf extremely well, and use long skewers to get into those hard-to-reach crevices and corners. Line the shelves with plastic or foil, and you are ready to stock them with your kosher-for-Passover purchases. 

Mission 2: Purge the Perishables 

Fridge and freezer alike need to be emptied. Use the ingredients that can’t be used for Pesach to create culinary delights that your family can enjoy during the next few days (until your kitchen is koshered). Also, consult with your rabbi to find out which edibles can be sold before Pesach, and which ones should be thrown out. Accumulate all the bread (rolls, hamburger buns, pita, and the like) in a large shopping bag, and set it aside to be burned on erev Pesach. 

Scrub the fridge and freezer until they gleam. Put the perishable items that you will be selling on one shelf (make sure they are completely sealed), and cover those sold items on that shelf with aluminum foil or butcher paper, so they cannot be seen. Once all spills and crumbs are things of the past, your kosher-for-Passover perishables can move in.  

Mission 3: Shop Till You Drop 

Speaking of kosher-for-Passover perishables (and non-perishables), stock up on all the food you will need for the eight days of Pesach. Bring your lists of ingredients and seder-necessities along for the ride, so you can be sure to buy what you need.  Since the prices of kosher-for-Pesach edibles tend to be exorbitant, try not to over-buy in order to keep spending in check. Remember, Pesach is eight days long, not eight months long. So while you need to stock up, you shouldn’t overstock. 

Note: Homemade potato salad, matzah-pizza, and matzah-cereal (matzah pieces with milk and a dash of sugar) are delicious and filling creations that are also cheaper than the store-bought options.  

Mission 4: Occupy the Kids 

Once you get home and are ready to unload your groceries, you are likely to have a restless troupe awaiting you. Shouts of “I’m hungry!” or “There’s nothing to do!” may ring through the air, but you can be prepared.  

Accomplish this mission by sending the children on a mission of their own. Have them make “Absolutely No Hametz in Here!” or “This Room Is Clean for Pesach” signs to hang up throughout the house. Bring home some store-bought pizza or other take-out food, and assuming that the weather allows it, instruct them to eat on the porch. This way, they can munch without trekking hametz through your very clean house. 

Mission 5: Tackle the Kitchen 

This is likely the most difficult mission you will face. Koshering the kitchen so it’s Pesach-ready can give even the most seasoned Pesach-cleaning general the jitters. That being said, it is also the only way to make Passover cooking possible. So recruit family members and any cleaning help that you can afford, and prepare for battle. 

Set aside utensils that can’t be koshered (such as china or pottery) or those that cannot be fully cleaned because hametz has possibly been trapped in the grooves (like cheese graters, colanders, and mini choppers). Place them in a cabinet or drawer, and seal it shut. Next, thoroughly clean any items that will be koshered, and make sure not to use them for 24 hours.  

Sweep, spray, and scrub the kitchen until it is completely clean, taking extreme care to eradicate any crumbs in all drawers and cabinets. Now you can begin the koshering process (see chart on right). 

Once the koshering process is completed, send all able-bodied men to carry in the boxes that contain Passover dishes. After washing and drying, place them in a clean cupboard. Congratulations! You have graduated kitchen-koshering boot-camp. You may begin cooking. 

Mission Six: Prepare the Sephardic Pesach Staple 

Here’s a riddle: What is white, pairs great with every food, and is part of every Sephardic Passover meal?  

You got it! It’s rice. But in order to use this side dish that we all love, it needs to be checked and cleaned before it is cooked. You must sift through the pounds of rice three times, being sure to look out for kernels of wheat. Or, for a hefty fee, you can purchase pre-checked rice from someone who has already done all the work. 

Mission 7: Shell Out Those Meals 

Now that the rice is ready, “Cook-and-Freeze” is the name of the game. Lots of meals are coming your way, and it’s best to prepare as much as you can in advance. So put on your chef’s hat for this one. Add a dash of this and a pinch of that, and your kitchen will soon be enveloped by that incredible Pesach aroma.  

Mission 8: Clean Those Wheels 

This is a great way to keep the older kids busy. Send them to get rid of all the garbage and crumbs from your cars, and if any of your teens are old enough to drive, they can even pay a visit to the carwash.  

Mission 9: Bedikat Hametz 

Bedikat hametz – when you and your children hide ten tightly sealed bags of bread and let your husband search for them – is the last attempt to find any morsels that may be in hiding. This is the time to scout out the field and check in all those inconspicuous places for any hametz-mines. Be mindful to search underneath every bed, and inside every briefcase, handbag, and coat pocket.  

Mission 10: Relax and Enjoy 

There’s not a speck of hametz in sight – you have conquered the enemy. You have triumphed. After all this time of trying to claim kosher-for-Pesach territory, it may be difficult to unwind. But you need to take a few deep breaths, put on your Pesach best, and get ready to enjoy the beautiful holiday that you have worked so hard to prepare. So sit down in a crumb-free chair, and relish in your achievements. Missions accomplished! 

Sidebar – Place next to Mission #5 

Koshering Process Chart 

UTENSILS 

1. Take the largest pot you have (make sure it hasn’t been used in the past 24 hours!) and fill it with water; bring to a boil.  

1. Heat a rock on the stove until it is glowing red. Using Passover tongs, drop it into the pot, causing the water to overflow. Spill out the hot water, and rinse the pot in cold water. 

1. Refill the pot, and bring the water to a boil once more. 

1. Immerse utensils, ensuring that each one is completely submerged in boiling water, and that they don’t touch the sides of the pot. 

1. After immersion, each utensil must be rinsed in cold water. 

1.  Dry and put away in a hametz-free drawer. 

COUNTERTOPS AND SINKS 

1. Ascertain the material of the surface.  

1. Formica and the like can’t be koshered, so clean thoroughly and cover. 

1. Granite, marble, stainless steel, and metal can be koshered. For these surfaces, make sure that hot water has not touched them for 24 hours. Boil water in a kosher for Passover pot and pour all over the surface.  

OVEN 

1. Don’t use for 24 hours before koshering.
2. Clean thoroughly. (Try to do this when the children are out, as oven cleaner is dangerous and the fumes can be overpowering.)
3. Set to highest possible temperature, and leave on for as many hours as it takes for the racks to become glowing red.
4. You can also use your oven’s self-clean feature or a blowtorch to accomplish this.
5. Don’t ever leave the oven unattended while on.

Hashem, in His infinite wisdom sends shelichim, messengers, or angels, to guide us along our path. For Shawn Michael Yosef Balva, a native of Las Vegas sentenced to eight years in prison for armed robbery, a number of shelichim helped him along the arduous path to teshuvah. The first angel Shawn encountered was Adir, a 6’2, 40-year-old African American man named Adir (“mighty” in Hebrew). Adir was covered with tattoos, including “Adir” tattooed under his left eye.  

Shawn, then 21, met Adir in the synagogue in the Victorville Federal Correctional Institution in California in 2016. Adir was wrapped in a tallit, and his prayers, which he enunciated quietly and slowly, appeared to spring from some sacred place within.  The former gang member was serving a 56-year sentence. He had been in jail for 22 years, since he was 18, and had been a practicing Jew for the last 14 years.  

“I couldn’t believe what I saw – a person praying in jail, wearing a tallit,” the now 27-year-old Shawn recalls. He recognized that Adir  was not an ordinary criminal but was a man with a unique and transcendent spirit. 

“Through the tough guy exterior, I felt an aura of something special.  I didn’t see a criminal or an evil spirit within him.  He was not scary looking.  I saw, instead, a man in great pain but with great humility.  I saw a man who lives spiritually above and beyond the physical constraints surrounding him.” 

The Beginning of a Journey 

Adir, on his part, recognized in Shawn a wavering Jewish spirit seeking redemption.  Their relationship slowly developed and blossomed and paved the way for Shawn’s journey from spiritual darkness to his spiritual roots and Gd. 

“Adir loved me. He made sure that I had tefillin every day, that I was eating kosher.  He taught me the Alef Bet in a loving, brotherly way.  We observed Shabbat together and studied together. He was my Eliyahu HaNavi.  He inspired me in a way that no rabbi could ever have done because, at the time, only those who could break through to me were the bad people who were into their bad music.” 

For Shawn, Adir was a godsend.  He would be one of many shelichim who propelled Shawn homeward – including Rabbis Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin and Mordechai Yitzchak Samet, whom he later met in the Otisville Federal Correctional Institute in Upstate New York.   Each of these guiding spirits, rabbis and formerly violent offenders alike,  shared with Shawn their wisdom, unique experiences, and profound belief in Gd and the ultimate rightness of the world, just when he needed to learn those lessons the most.  

Shawn has incorporated their lessons well.  Today, while serving the remainder of his time in a Nevada halfway house, he lives a religious life.  He works in sales, prays at Chabad three times daily, and spends Shabbat with his mother and two brothers. 

Shawn also shared his personal story of redemption with thousands of Jews through a Mishpacha Magazine article titled “The Comeback Kid” and has written a book, soon to be published by Menucha Publishers, expanding on these lessons learned. 

“While suffering in prison, I wrote down many thoughts on emunah and bitachon. I don’t want those experiences to be lost.  When you go through something so profound as I did, you can either sink back into that tumah or use that experience to help others and help shine a light through the darkness,” he says. 

A Little History – The Road Down                                                                          

From age 12, Shawn Balva was on a downward trajectory, from being a much-acclaimed football hero with dreams of playing professionally to an out-of-control gun-carrying drug addict who would do anything to satisfy his quest for instant gratification. 

Shawn’s was a twilight existence disconnected from family and self.  Neither his Sephardic Israeli father nor his Ashkenazi American mother were practicing Jews, although his father maintained a profound belief in Hashem.  His parents divorced when he was five. Five years later, his mother married a man who was psychologically abusive to his mother and the children, and would later serve time for fraud.  

But, Shawn refuses to blame his dysfunctional home situation for his own decline or disastrous life choices.  He believes that would be the easy way out and is also fundamentally not true.  Instead, he feels that taking personal responsibility is what his journey is about.  It’s also about learning to redirect inner energies away from the bad and toward the good.  

He was only five years old when he began to succumb to what he calls his dark side.  

“When my parents divorced, I became attracted to rap and hip hop music.  I probably didn’t understand what the words meant, but I was attracted to their beat and dark energy.  Even at that young age, I carried a pocketknife and bad pictures.  I wasn’t psychologically disturbed and didn’t hit anyone.  Still, I didn’t have a normal kid mentality either. I never felt free.  I felt like an old soul.” 

On the other hand, Shawn was highly protective of his mother and younger siblings, standing up for them against his abusive stepfather, a gambling addict. 

The Football Lifeline 

Football kept Shawn going.  The top players lived in the African-American ghettos, so he arranged to join their team. 

“I felt such a connection to them.  They lived in a physical ghetto where there was crime, poverty, and not enough to eat.  Similarly, I lived within a metaphorical ghetto.  My mother had married someone I didn’t want around. I was always anxious, nervous, crying out for help.” 

Had it not been for football, the now 6’ 3” Shawn would have gotten into trouble earlier.  “I loved the attention. I was a little star. [People told me] you are the man!  That blew my mind and gave me a sense of entitlement.  My entire life was football.” 

His mother loved it.  She was so proud.  She spent hours watching him play during practice.  Her dream was for him to make it professionally.  “I remember her eyes resting on me like an angel’s.  My biological father never watched me play, even though he lived in Vegas.  All I had was my mom, football, and that community of players – mainly African Americans.” 

Unfortunately, Shawn’s natural talent worked against him.  Because he was so good at the game, his teachers and coaches ignored his bad behavior and his quiet cries for help.  His rebellion and negative attitude were irrelevant.  So, what if he stole?  What mattered was delivering wins for the team. 

At 16, during his sophomore year, Shawn’s behavior got worse.  Of all his classmates, the rebellious ones attracted him the most – their music and their partying.  Once Shawn was  invited to a party and he attended, against his mother’s wishes.  It was the first time he smoked, drank, or tried drugs.  That little push was all it took for him to fly over the edge, for which he still blames himself. 

“I have an extreme, addictive personality.  I get influenced by my surroundings, the music I listen to, and the friends I associate with.  Many kids drink, smoke, and do drugs but eventually let go and return to reality.  However, I developed a thirst for instant gratification.  At first, football satisfied my inner emptiness.  Later, it was drugs and a criminal lifestyle.  I kept telling myself, “It feels so good. Why not do this all the time?”  I went to the extreme with everything.  If I fell in love with something, I went all the way.  For this reason, finding Hashem was later a blessing for me.” 

Shawn was arrested six months before his 21st birthday. 

The Spiritual Quest Begins 

Shawn’s spiritual quest had already begun six months earlier.  It was then that the good within him started sending out messages.  “If you don’t stop what you’re doing, it will only get worse,” the voice inside him said.  Still, he couldn’t get himself to stop taking drugs.  After his arrest, a veil lifted.  He viewed his fellow inmates at the Las Vegas County Jail, his first residence of incarceration, not as heroes but with disgust. 

“It’s one thing to see people doing drugs and partying while wearing nice clothes.  But here was the real thing. You end up looking like a junky and possibly dying in prison.  I had hit rock bottom and couldn’t take it anymore.  I had been lying to my mother to buy drugs, which were plentiful and expensive in jail.  I wasn’t eating.  Surely, life offered me more than this.” 

Then the messages became externalized.  One tattooed inmate assured him that he mustn’t despair and that his life would improve.  Another whispered, “Gd bless you,” as he left the prison on bail.  Shawn’s mother, forever encouraging, foresaw him living a beautiful Jewish life.  Shawn was born on March 31st.  He realized that he began to see the number 31 all over, on his watch, on the radio, and everywhere he looked. He took this as a sign to remind him of who he was and of his higher purpose.  Then, the realization hit.  “If I’m going to live a positive life, I have to do Judaism all the way.” 

His inclination to do bad slowly evolved toward a quest for spiritual redemption. 

The day before he entered Victorville Penitentiary, he stopped taking drugs.  He then met Adir, who helped to accelerate his transformation significantly.  “If not for Adir, I would not have changed all the way.” 

Otisville                        

The Federal Correctional Institution in Otisville, NY, is about as safe as it gets.  Located 35 miles south of Kiryat Joel and Monsey, it is the place for Jewish white-collar offenders.  Under the chaplaincy of Chabad’s Rabbi Avraham Richter, Jews can daven with a minyan and receive all they need to live a religious life while serving their time. 

For Shawn, being transferred there was like being transported into an alternative universe.  “I could finally breathe freely.  I was no longer terrified of Victorville’s Whites, Blacks, Mexican, and Native American gangs asserting their power and influence in the most violent ways, and where I constantly feared for my life.” 

There in Otisville, about twenty religious Jews welcomed him warmly into their family.  The first weeks were exhausting. He constantly studied Hebrew and Torah, making up for lost time.  He also closely watched the behavior of those individuals whose actions would impact him most significantly. 

Two of those people were Rabbis Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin and Mordechai Yitzchak Samet, each of whom encompassed qualities he had never seen before – absolute faith in Gd and His ways.  “They truly believed that Hashem wanted them there in prison to teach others Torah, and that He would open those prison doors for them when the time was right,” Shawn says. 

How could he gauge their sincerity?  “I learned a lot from playing football. You could tell from players’ eyes if they wanted to be on the field.  Some guys are halfway there. Rabbi Rubashkin was all the way in.  There was something so different about him.  He wasn’t just telling you to have faith in Hashem or that “we can go home any minute.” He constantly prayed, studied, and did mitzvot.  He was busier than the president.  I never saw him play basketball or watch TV.  For me, he was the answer.  I don’t want to do anything halfway. What I recognized in him was a true soldier for Hashem.”  

But how do you develop that kind of faith and build that kind of inner strength?  These were questions Shawn struggled with. 

Rabbi Samet would answer some of these questions for Shawn simply by being who he was.   

When Shawn entered Otisville, Rabbi Samet had served 14 years of a 27-year sentence for financial crimes, which was later reduced to nineteen years.  The Satmar Chassid left soon after Shawn arrived to fight his case in another prison, returning three years later.  So, at age 25, Shawn began studying with the renowned talmid hacham, who mentored him personally, especially about emunah.   

When Shawn shared his struggles, questions, and challenges with him, Rabbi Samet gently reminded him that they stemmed from an absence of emunah.  Shawn found these answers initially disappointing.  But Rabbi Samet, a father of ten and grandfather of many, helped Shawn to see the bigger picture. Shawn realized that his disappointment resulted from a lack of understanding and not from something lacking in the answers he received.  Shawn eventually understood that even suffering could catalyze spiritual growth if you do the inner work necessary. 

“He [Rabbi Samet] didn’t say to leave it all in Gd’s hands and lie back.  The work he was putting in affected me so profoundly.  He was accomplishing, writing two books, and studying and praying with tears flowing down his cheeks.  I stopped wanting to be other people and started wanting to be the Shawn I could become.” 

On the Right Path  

How does Shawn know he’s now on the right path? 

He doesn’t hesitate to answer.  An African American man who spent years in prison once told him that a person’s potential is estimated by how much good he can do for others.  That ability is what he saw in abundance in Rabbis Rubashkin and Samet. Shawn modestly asserts that helping others (and one way he has done that is by writing a book about his experiences to inspire others) and living a full Jewish life is what he strives for.   

Since Shawn began living a Jewish religious life, many doors filled with positive energy opened for him.  He also touched many lives through the April 2020 Mishpacha Magazine article, inspiring others to overcome challenges. 

“Before, I was hurting my mother and brothers.  Now the responses I get worldwide are so beautiful, appreciative, and encouraging.  Family, friends, and even strangers are happy with me.  That’s how I know I’m doing the right thing.”