61.5 F
New York
Sunday, September 29, 2024
spot_img
Home Blog Page 74

Ukraine’s President Volodymyr Zelensky Is Inspiring the World

As the war in Ukraine continues, people around the world are rallying around President Volodymyr Zelensky, Ukraine’s unconventional, Jewish, 44-year-old leader. The grandson of Holocaust survivors, Volodymyr Zelensky was born January 25, 1978. He grew up as a native Russian speaker in Kryvyi Rih, the largest city in central Ukraine.

During World War II, the town of Kryvyi Rih was occupied by Nazi Germany. It was home to a sizeable Jewish community, and in the years before the Nazi takeover, many Jews fled eastward. Zelensky’s grandmother was one of the Jews who fled. “My grandmother was living in Kryvyi Rih, in a part of south Ukraine that was occupied by the fascists,” Zelensky explained. “They killed all the Jews who remained. She had left in an evacuation of Jews to Almaty, Kazakhstan. Many people fled to there. She studied there. She’s a teacher. After World II, she came back. That’s where I was born.”

Career as Comedian

Zelensky completed his law degree from Kyiv National Economic University, but never practiced law. He started acting in college and eventually founded his own production company called Kvartal 95 – “Neighborhood 95” – after the area in Kryvyi Rih where he grew up. He tried his hand at comedy and became a hit throughout the former Soviet Union, performing stand up and acting in some comic films. In 2006, he won Ukraine’s “Strictly Come Dancing” television competition. He has also performed in Israel.

President Zelensky

Campaigning for the presidency, Zelensky relied heavily on his comedy background, posting humorous speeches and skits on social media. His unusual campaigning style paid off: In Ukraine’s 2019 presidential election, Zelensky won an astonishing 73 percent of the vote.

His political career was not always smooth. He faced accusations of being close to corrupt figures and was accused of bringing in members of his TV production company to serve as key political advisors. Within days of his election, Russia declared a major provocation, extending Russian citizenship to people living in eastern Ukrainian regions controlled by separatist insurgents whom Russia was backing in Donetsk and Luhansk.

Zelensky responded to this major assault on Ukrainian territorial integrity with humor, posting on Facebook that he would extend Ukrainian citizenship to people in Russia and others “who suffer from authoritarian or corrupt regimes.”

Recognizing Jewish History

When Zelensky ran for office, the Chief Rabbi of Dnipro told the New York Times: “He should not run because we will have pogroms here again in two years if things go wrong.” Those fears proved misplaced. Indeed, Zelensky was open about his Jewishness. He oversaw an ongoing project to rename streets and monuments throughout Ukraine, erasing the names of Soviet figures and replacing them with Ukrainian heroes, including some Ukrainian Jews.

Zelensky began construction on a memorial at Babi Yar, the ravine outside Kyiv where 150,000 Jews were executed. The Ukrainian city of Uman is the burial place of Rabbi Nachman of Breslov, and is a major site for Jewish pilgrims. On Rosh Hashana, Uman boasts the largest minyan in the world, as thousands of Jews flock to Uman from Israel and worldwide. Under Zelensky’s administration, a large project is underway in Uman. Zelensky stated, “In the city we are starting to construct a ‘Little Jerusalem.’ So, we have decided to construct a historical museum, to create a big park, and to reconstruct the synagogue [that Rabbi Nachman prayed in].”

Resolution in Wartime

In the first hours of the Russian attack on Ukraine, President Zelensky vowed to remain in Kiyv, Ukraine’s capital. On a video hastily recorded on a cellphone, he declared, “We are all here. Our soldiers are here. The citizens of our country are here…We are all here protecting our independence, our country, and it will continue to be this way. Glory to our defenders. Glory to our heroes. Glory to Ukraine.”

The eyes of the world stay glued to Zelensky and the Ukraine. Vladamir Putin did not expect resistance from the Ukrainians and thought his military action would be swift and relatively easy. Putin was mistaken. Tentative peace talks are underway and Zelensky has suggested Jerusalem as a possible venue for negotiations. The world is holding its breath.

Dear Jido – April 2022

Dear Jido,

I’ve always had a great relationship with my son, who is now 14, but I’m finding his teenage self very hard to deal with. It’s not that he’s a bad kid, he’s just much less pleasant to be around and is increasingly withdrawn. I’m having trouble connecting with him. There are still moments where we enjoy each other’s company, but more and more often, our interactions are tense, cut short, or full of conflict. I need some advice on how to keep our relationship strong.

 

Signed, Teen Troubles

 

Dear Father of a Teenager,

 

What you and your son are experiencing is quite common. Fourteen-year-old boys are going through many changes in their bodies, their hormones, and their emotions that are often difficult for them to assimilate. The usual response for them is to withdraw, usually to the quiet of their rooms, accompanied frequently by depression and aggression.

There are several things you can do to make sure your son makes the most of these formative years:

1. Keep the lines of communication open – even though it is not always easy to get his attention, be sure to let him know how much you love him. That includes with words, hugs, back rubs, and high fives. Dinner table talks are usually not the best time to connect. Try private times such as during carpools (when he is the only one in the car with you), late nights alone, or walks to the shul are best.

2. Make sure he gets plenty of exercise – that includes sports, helping clean the house, and walking to school and shul. This helps his body work through its new overload of hormones.

3. Encourage, don’t discourage – his moodiness might prompt you to yell or criticize. Understand that he is not totally in control of his emotions, and likely won’t be for a while.

4. Set an example – your young man just went through his bar mitzvah and is on his way to becoming a man. Who better than his father, and his mother, to be his role model of what to aspire to. Show patience, don’t nag, offer solutions, and maximize fun in the good times.

We’ve all been through the exercise. With the proper attitude and actions on your part, your son will continue to be a source of pride for you and the entire family.

One on One with Tammy Sassoon

“Every person is created by Hashem with unique potential, purpose, and contributions to make. Every life experience is designed as an opportunity to become greater.

~~ Tammy Sassoon ~~

I was excited to meet Tammy Sassoon, whose columns serve as a guiding light for many community parents. Tammy’s popular Positive Parenting column in Community Magazine provides parents with valuable, practical tools.

Let’s travel back in time to Tammy’s childhood and teenage years and follow her journey from teacher to parent coach and educational consultant.

Tammy and her older brother were born and raised in Brooklyn. Her father, Yaakov Zaga, is from Anteb, a town on the border of Turkey and Syria. He moved to Israel when he was five. After serving in the Israeli army, Yaakov traveled to New York and met his bashert, Miriam Liffman. An Ashkenazi Jew of German descent, Miriam grew up in Washington Heights and speaks fluent German.

Early Years

Educated at Yeshivah of Flatbush from elementary school through high school, Tammy called herself a “an average student.” “I had no interest in sitting at a desk and studying. However, I did pick up my strong work ethic in high school and from my parents. My parents are wonderful role models and I so appreciate the life lessons they taught me. They raised us to always try our best. We weren’t afraid of hard work and pushed to figure things out.”

When asked what kind of child she was, Tammy replied, “I was very outgoing with tons of energy. I specifically remember that wherever I went, people used to often ask me to ‘please slow down, or to be quiet.’ That’s why, as a young adult, I became passionate about working with difficult children. I understood that I, too, was born with potential and with contributions to make as Hashem envisioned.”

Revelations

Tammy had her “aha moment” as a camp counselor. She began to combine her own childhood experiences with her adult critical thinking skills. Her epiphany was that children who are viewed as difficult or disruptive shut down when they are often just told to be quiet or to slow down. That’s why she believes in bringing out their potential, while also telling children in a non-judgmental way, “I am holding you accountable for your actions because I believe in you.”

“Every human being is unique and created by design by Hashem, with unique potential, purpose, and qualities and contributions to offer, regardless of what stage of life they are in. We also each have unique gifts and challenges, and every challenge is an opportunity for growth.”

Today, as an ardent believer that Hashem created every person with a unique ability to make the world a better place, Tammy comes across as warm, caring, lively, quick, and solution oriented.

College and Career

After high school, Tammy enrolled at Brooklyn College and majored in Math Education. She graduated in three-and-a-half years, energized to start teaching. Since it was the middle of the school year, there were not many job openings, but she did hear about a position as a Special Education teacher at P.S. 163. Even without experience in the field, Tammy was up for the challenge, and immersed herself in her new class of twelve students.

Moved by how much progress students with special needs can make if teachers believe in them, Tammy headed back to the classroom as a student again, studying for a Master of Science in Special Education at Brooklyn College.

Two years later, Tammy was offered a position at Gesher Yehuda. Though she was really enjoying her public school teaching position, she decided to start teaching children in our own community.

Tammy taught grades three, five, six, and seven, and became a social skills trainer at Gesher Yehuda over the course of her ten years there. She also began to build her private practice as a behavioral therapist, which later evolved into her parent coaching practice when Tammy realized that the results are much more transformative when parents do the work. She started seeing parents one-on-one and giving parenting courses.

Tammy found that no matter how difficult a child is, parents can experience significant results when they use specific methods to highlight their children’s strengths and purpose, while setting effective limits.

Divine Providence

In her early twenties, Tammy went to Israel to study for four months at Neve Yerushalayim College. Although she had a solid Jewish foundation, she wanted to expand her knowledge and get her burning questions resolved at Neve. One of the Neve rabbis was Rabbi Lawrence Kelemen, author of To Kindle a Soul.

It was hashgachat pratit that Tammy met her naseeb two years later through Rabbi Kelemen. On a phone call to Israel, he asked Tammy if she would like to meet a young

man he had recently connected with, David Sassoon. Rabbi Kelemen said that although he only met David for a five minutes, he saw a passion for truth and extreme kindness in David. Tammy decided to spend her winter break in Israel and greatly enjoyed her outings with David. David had studied at Mikdash Melech and at Mir Yerushalayim. “I had clarity when I was with David and realized we had the same goals.”

They were married four months later and spent their first year of marriage in Israel. While David was in yeshiva, Tammy taught English at a girl’s school in Har Nof.

Hashem blessed the couple with four boys and then a girl. “I was 28 when I married David and we were so grateful that we had our first son a year later. I remember being shocked at how hard it was to mother a baby. But I also knew that wherever there is a challenge, there is potential for growth, and Hashem always gives the tools. We had five children in nine years, and they are of the greatest gifts in our life.”

After one of her workshops at Orot Sarah, a Sephardic Bet Yaakov school, Mrs. Renelle Maslaton asked Tammy to interview for an assistant principal position. Tammy hesitated to consider the job, as she had four children, and two were babies. “It was love at first sight. Mrs. Maslaton and I had the same vision and ideas about education and growing each individual student. I followed my heart and took the position. Together we built a social and emotional wellness program and created a culture that was part of the curriculum.”

Now Tammy teaches that curriculum in many schools.

Tammy’s Special Approach

Tammy’s premise is that every child can be kind to others. By combining a culture of warmth and kindness with limit setting and accountability, Tammy found that in a few weeks, any classroom or home can go from being in upside-down mode to functioning as a healthy environment. “We can help even the most disruptive child thrive within the context of respecting people.”

This spotlights what is unique about Tammy’s parenting approach and her life perspective.

Do you remember Tammy’s “aha moment” that we are all created by Hashem with our special spark and potential?

Tammy’s distinctive methodology is about empowering moms of defiant children to turn a chaotic home into a calm one. Drawing on her own parenting tools, training, research, coaching, and experience as a principal, Tammy guides parents to use and develop their inner resources to help their children develop healthy self-esteem and behavior.

Tammy’s Current Focus

After what Tammy describes as seven beautiful years in Orot Sarah, she recently stepped down from her principal role to focus on her coaching practice:

· A to Z Parenting Academy, an online independent program.

· Lives courses (Zoom too) three times a year, including a crash course on emotional detox.

· One-on-one parenting sessions.

· Coaching principals and teachers, towards creating a school and classroom culture of kindness, motivation, and making contributions.

A short time ago, Tammy introduced a safe parenting series with a marriage component. “It’s crucial to work on one’s marriage even before parenting. Kids need healthy modeling from their parents. When women demonstrate respect for their husbands instead of judgment, husbands are free to be their best selves. They want to see their wives happy.”

Passions and Pastimes

Tammy is passionate about her family and delights in doing home decorating projects with her children such as painting and building. To unwind, she loves needlepointing, walking and taking in the fresh air, and reading books on perfecting one’s nature.

Home Inspections

Home inspections offer a chance to walk through the home with a professional who can point out any structural, electrical, or plumbing issues in the home. Home inspections are needed when buying a residential property. Many buyers feel they don’t need a home inspection for new construction. I personally feel it’s always necessary. In New York, it’s done once a buyer has an accepted offer, before they sign the contract.. Obviously, these inspections are conducted in order to point out the negatives and the positives of the home.

 

Some home inspectors only point out the negatives. I don’t agree with only focusing on the negative since there is always going to be something positive as well, so just point out both. A home inspection should make you more aware of the ins and outs of your home. If you are doing construction, you will learn what you need to focus on. A home inspection is not an opportunity to knock down on a price for no reason. Sometimes, people who have given an offer of $1.8 million, will want to go down to $1.7 after the inspection. I say straight out, “You’re asking for a $100,000 price cut for no reason!” If after the home inspection there are legitimate reasons to make an adjustment, we have the seller take care of the issues or we work with the buyer to give them a credit, but this is only for major issues that were not noticed beforehand. Many times, there are high ticket items, like a roof or boiler, that are aged but are currently working very well. If this is the case, the seller is not obligated to give credit for those things. I understand buyers coming into the home and planning on doing renovations, but they are not really interested in putting a new roof in. But at the same time, because the roof is on its last leg, credits are not given. This situation comes up a lot that the buyer wants a credit because a big ticket item is old but still functioning.

 

Home Insurance

When buying a home, a buyer needs to purchase home insurance. We asked Jeffrey Weitz of MBJ Insurance a few questions to help guide our buyers through the process.

 

When does one need to get home insurance?

In general, you purchase homeowners insurance before closing on a home. By securing the coverage you need before you even move into your new home, you safeguard your purchase from potential disaster. It is important to research various insurance policy options as they may offer different levels of coverage.

 

What type of incidents does home insurance cover?

The most common insurance claims we are seeing are for wind & hail, water damage & freezing, fire & lightning, vandalism, liability, and theft.

 

 

I remember once a home had a fire, no one was hurt, but the insurance hardly paid them back because they had the “wrong” insurance. Can you speculate what it was? What can we learn from this?

Homeowners are under the impression that a standard home insurance is always the correct policy needed. However, there are special policies that are needed when a home is vacant, is under construction, or is rented out (not owner occupied). Please always consult your insurance professional to get the proper guidance for your property.

 

 

Include Burst: Fun Fact

The term “housewarming” is descended literally from the act of warming a new house, from the days before central heating. All the guests would bring firewood and build fires in all the available fireplaces, offering firewood as a gift.

How to Help a Child Who Is in a Behavioral Rut

When a child is stuck in a negative pattern of behavior for a long time, adults often give up, thinking that this behavior is who the child really is. But that can’t be the case since every child, regardless of personality and biology, is capable of being kind, responsible, and caring. Positive character traits are available to all of humanity. Nobody is excluded from the ability to get there.

If the difficult behavior is one that is not moral, such as being unkind towards others or rejecting healthy loving limits, you can be sure that the child is capable of acting differently. Logically, it doesn’t make sense to believe that being able to follow certain rules or society norms, like having basic respect towards people around you or accepting authority, are only limited to those who haven’t struggled in the past. Since the child wasn’t born thinking that they are incapable of being kind, how do we get the child back to their state of realizing how capable they really are, after being in a negative pattern for many years?

Relationship Reset

This is where I teach “The Relationship Reset Strategy.” It is a deep thorough cleanse that uproots the child’s unhelpful thinking that got the child into this mess in the first place. If a child is on the path of being hurtful towards others or of not accepting authority for a long time, chances are that the behavior of someone on that path defines who the child believes that he or she really is.

The “The Relationship Reset” is a healing conversation. This is how it works: A parent schedules a calm and quiet time outside the home to speak with the child. The goal is to come across calm, relaxed, confident, and sincere. The conversation goes as follows:

“I’ve been giving it some thought, and I realize that I have been mistakenly thinking that when you were struggling with ‘xyz’ behavior, that that behavior is who you actually are…as if there is such a thing as some children not being able to be kind or cooperative. And that couldn’t be further from the truth.

Since children are very influenced by their parents’ thinking, it would make sense that you would believe that about yourself as a result of my mistake, and that belief would make it very hard for you to be your regular kind self.

I am so sorry and I am planning to move ahead very differently. It’s as if I put a sticky label on you that says, ‘I am a child who is unkind, disrespectful, etc.’ We will peel this label off together. As I start thinking the truths about you, which is that the real you, of course, wants to be kind and cooperative, it will be easier for you to see that as well. I might make mistakes sometimes but you will see that I will be interacting with you very differently.”

Soul Search

Then moving ahead the parent has to commit to relating to the child differently and not to interact with the misbehaviors, but to interact with the soul beneath the misbehaviors. As parents, we can feel insecure when children misbehave, thinking that perhaps this behavior indicates that this is who they are. Their misbehaviors are not them! At worst, they are their poor choices. See past the label through to the soul and that will free your child up to be their best self.

This strategy is not necessarily to be used alone. If your child needs support or services or something to help him or her acclimate better to society, of course as parents we need to be responsible and make sure that the child receives that.

If your child has been in a behavioral rut, no matter how old he or she is, never give up on resetting. Every moment is the gift of a new beginning, so interact with your child as if there is no history, giving them a chance to start fresh. Then let go of the results, and you might see amazing things happen!

The Wedding Miracle – Hashem Makes Every Wedding!

It was a typical day in the life of the Mitzvah Man. By now, our readers realize that no day for the Mitzvah Man is typical. The Mitzvah Man and the hundreds of Mitzvah Man Organization volunteers know to expect the unexpected. Doing hesed is their focus. What they do to earn a living does not define them.

On one “typical” day it was the Mitzvah Man who answered the ringing phone. On the other end was a woman named Annie. Her voice was choked with tears, and her words were not coherent.

The Mitzvah Man told Annie softly, “Please calm down. I can’t understand you. But don’t worry. You made the right call. With Hashem’s Help, everything will be fine. Take a deep breath and tell me why you called.”

The Mitzvah Man has become accustomed to frantic calls, but something in Annie’s voice told him this would be something unusual.

Annie tried her best to explain the situation in a clear voice, “My daughter’s wedding is in danger of being cancelled! We have been scrimping and saving to afford a modest affair. The pandemic has killed us financially. Now even the simple wedding we planned is looking like it’s impossible to do!”

The Mitzvah Man responded, “Annie, don’t worry. Hashem protects the hatan (groom) and kallah (bride). The wedding can’t possibly be cancelled. Tell me, how much do you need?”

Annie responded, “We are short $5,000. The manager of the wedding hall called today. The hall reservation and the catering service will be cancelled if we don’t come up with the money by next week! We also have no arrangements for music.”

“Annie don’t worry. We will figure something out” he assured her.

The Mitzvah Man hung up the phone and turned to Hashem, “I don’t see how in the world am I going to do this. Please help me.”

The Mitzvah Man has learned from being involved seriously in doing hesed that Divine Providence is always evident and that the more emunah and bitachon he has, the more Hashem provides.

Three hours later he received a call from his friend Jerry. Jerry told the Mitzvah Man, “I just made a fantastic real-estate deal and I’d like to give you $5,000 for your organization with the stipulation that it goes to a needy bride for her wedding.”

The Mitzvah Man was stunned. He answered Jerry, “Yes, there is a wedding coming up for a needy bride! I need this money as soon as possible.” Jerry told him where to pick up the check.

On the way to Jerry’s to pick up the check, someone who the Mitzvah Man did not know loudly called him by name, “Hey, Michael, wait!”

The Mitzvah Man answered the usual, “Can I help you?”

“I am a DJ and I know that you are involved with helping people. I would like to offer my DJ services free of charge for any needy bride’s wedding.” He handed the Mitzvah Man his card.

The wedding was a huge simha! The new couple was able to enter married life with dignity. There was plenty of delicious food and the entertainment was fabulous.

Regardless of who you are and what you can spend – Hashem Makes Everyone’s Wedding!

Sephardic Heritage Museum Organizes “The Ukraine Rescue Mission”

As the devastating Russian conflict rages on, Ukraine’s most vulnerable Jews are in distress and humanitarian needs are continuing to soar. With one of the world’s largest Jewish populations, Ukraine is home to many elderly Jews, including thousands of Holocaust survivors.

The Sephardic Heritage Museum (SHM), together with its global partner agencies, is providing support to help protect the more than 200,000 Jews living in Ukraine.

Last month, the SHM held an emergency meeting to raise funds for Ukrainian Jews living under the cloud of war and to coordinate assistance for those affected. The meeting, chaired by Mr. Harry Adjmi and coordinated by Rabbi Raymond Sultan and SHM’s chairman Mr. Joseph Sitt, brought together over one hundred people, both in-person and via Zoom.

The attendees were addressed by Rabbi and Mrs. Moshe Moskowitz of Kharkiv and Rabbi Moshe Fhima of Pinsk, Belarus, who underlined the overwhelming need for help, and the dire straits of the Jews still in Ukraine.

The project, called The Ukraine Rescue Mission, raised close to $3 million in its first week. This funding has directly helped to rescue and evacuate over 5,000 people from Ukraine into the safety of neighboring countries.

Ongoing support to The Ukraine Rescue Mission is needed to enable SHM to fulfill their mission of evacuating Ukrainian Jews as well as sending funds for those trapped in shelters and synagogues to purchase food, diapers, necessities, and medications from local stores.

Support SHM’s efforts to aid our

Brethren in Ukraine!

To donate funds via credit card go to: Donate – Sephardic Heritage Museum

To find out how to get involved, contact Rabbi Raymond Sultan at: rsultan@theshm.com

One on One with Vivian Farhi

“When I was as young as seven years old, I remember rearranging pillows and decorative objects in my parents’ home when I was bored.  This was my favorite pastime.  Who knew that many years later this would be my passion?”  ~ Vivian Farhi of VivFarhi Designs~

Ellen Geller Kamaras

By the time she turned eleven, Vivian Shabot had already lived in three different countries.

Vivian was born in Aleppo, Syria, the youngest of four children.  Although she was only four years old, Vivian remembers that even then she understood that living in Syria was becoming dangerous for Jews, which pushed her family to flee.

In October 1980, Vivian’s family, her parents Olga and Isaac Shabot, and her siblings, Ezra, Nina, and Rose, left all their belongings and escaped with only the clothes on their backs.  A highly paid coyote smuggled the family through the border into Turkey where they hid for a week until obtaining travel papers to Israel.  “We walked in the dark at night until we reached Turkey. The memory of it is still so clear.  My parents were so excited to be in Israel that they kissed the ground upon exiting the plane.”

The Shabot family initially lived in the biblical city of Yavneh and then settled in Bat Yam, remaining in Israel for seven years.

“My parents went to ulpan to learn Hebrew and I was fortunate that I picked up the language easily. Most of the Syrian newcomers lived in Bat Yam.”

Vivian’s parents decided to relocate to New York when she was eleven.  They had very little family in Israel, her mother’s relatives were starting to emigrate from Syria to the States, and her sister Nina was getting married and staying in NY.  “I was sad to leave my friends, school, and everything familiar.   Moving to NY and getting acclimated socially and academically were hard for me. I was always a good student and competitive by nature, which motivated me to be the best at all that I do! I had to learn fast, which is what I did.”

Hashgachat Pratit on Ocean Parkway

One Shabbat, while strolling on Ocean Parkway with friends, Vivian spotted David Farhi, a classmate of her sister Rose from Yeshivah of Flatbush.  David, three years older, is the son of the hazan of Congregation Shaare Zion, Edward Farhi, and Rosa Farhi.  Vivian mentioned to her mother that she had seen David and before she knew it, a mutual friend had set them up.  The date went beautifully, and six months later they were married.

Married for twenty-five years, the couple is blessed with four sons and one daughter. They live in Brooklyn and are committed to the Syrian community.  Their children are Eddie (24), married to Marcelle Setton, Isaac (22), soon to be married to Amy Gindi, Abie (19), studying in Mikdash Melech in Israel, Rosie (15), who attends Ilan High School, and Solomon (10), in fifth grade at Flatbush Yeshivah.

Vivian’s Essence

At my request, Vivian asked her family, friends, and clients to describe her in one word.  Her loved ones came up with: selfless, thoughtful, compassionate, meticulous, and resilient. Clients said she was kind, warm, friendly, patient, understanding, detail oriented, motivated, a go-getter, and hardworking.

Vivian admits that she is very reserved and shy by nature, which most people don’t know. She had to stretch herself when she launched her design business.

Motherhood

Vivian was passionate about dedicating her time and energy to being a stay-at-home mom.  She offered to volunteer at Flatbush Yeshivah when her oldest was in third grade.  Starting with the lunch program, Vivian enjoyed sneaking a peek to see how her kids were interacting with their classmates.  She was asked to assist with other events and to join the Ladies Auxiliary  committee.  She worked on tuition fundraisers and other projects, leading up to her involvement with the annual Chinese Auction and being a co-chair with Naomi Houllou, a’h, Ladies Auxiliary President, for four years.

VivFarhi Designs Is Born

Ten years ago, around the time their son Solomon was born, Vivian and David were fortunate to build a new home.  It was Vivian’s immersion in their own home’s building process that led to her career and VivFarhi Designs.

“I became very involved, from the layout of the space of my home to designing my own ceiling pattern.  I wanted to build the dream home for my family even though we were on a tight budget. It was up to me to turn my vision into a reality! I truly enjoyed the project, and I was surprised by how natural it all felt.”

After completing her own home design, Vivian advised friends who were renovating or building their own homes.  It became a constant in her life, and she began posting design pictures on her Instagram page. Someone approached her with an offer to pay her for a small renovation. Her husband encouraged her to take the job and from then on word spread about Vivian’s talents.  “I would take each design job, big or small, and put all my efforts into it.”

Vivian’s big break came when her friends were building their summer home and insisted on hiring her to design and decorate their home from top to bottom. “This project gave me amazing confidence and every aspect felt so exciting. I took on many challenges and learned many new skills along the way. It was surreal when the family moved into their dream home that I helped create. I brought my passion for decor and an eye for design to achieve beautiful yet functional interior spaces.”

Although Vivian realized that she had gained experience and knowledge by hands-on design projects, she determined to seek formal training in interior design.  Her dilemma was that most of the classes were given late in the afternoon, and she would not be there to welcome her kids after a long day at school.

Family Support

Vivian’s husband and older children were extremely supportive and insisted that she sign up to attend the New York School of Interior Design.  “Everyone chipped in and made it easy for me to let go. My daughter made me a sign that said, ‘Mommy’s first day of school’ with the date, as I did for my kids on the first and last day of each grade. David and the children are so happy for me and are proud of my professional accomplishments.”

Vivian is a voracious learner, always aiming to enhance what she can offer her clients. She is an out of the box designer, who seeks inspiration everywhere. Vivian sees possibilities in ordinary things and integrates them in her designs.

Transition to Interior Designer

Vivian’s life had always revolved around her family’s schedules. Her biggest challenge was remaining present for her children. Her solution: she woke up earlier and planned and organized her time more efficiently including meal preparation and family commitments.

As Vivian acquired new skills her career evolved into a passion.  Her clients appreciate that Vivian is sensitive to their lifestyle and their budget. Vivian works as a team player and partners with architects and contractors to achieve the clients’ goals.

Vivian has no regrets about starting a career path later in life. “My kids are my proudest accomplishment. Taking on a profession after most of my kids were grown was the best and right decision for me. I wanted to dedicate all I had to offer to my husband and children. I wanted to be present for my children. Hashem knew when the time was right for me.”

Vivian’s Brand

Vivian approaches each project as a new canvas.  “I interview each client, getting to know them and their lifestyle.  Each client is unique and requires a different style and approach. I’m very sensitive to each client’s budget and I want each client to get the most of what their budget allows and to live in their dream home.  It’s a balance.  I insist on quality work and high-quality materials.

It’s a big responsibility and I don’t take spending other people’s money lightly. Each family has its own lifestyle, and their home should reflect that.  I strive to make the home esthetics beautiful but also practical and functional. Choosing the right materials and textiles is key.”

Vivian’s work lights her up and she thrives on employing her imagination.  “It never feels like work, and I love taking the stress off the client and seeing things come to life. I also value the new bonds formed while working with clients and close friendships that resulted from professional relationships.  I thank Hashem for connecting me with people I would never have met otherwise. ”

She loves reading books and relaxing with her husband and children, especially on Shabbat. She also enjoys Pilates and jogging. “Long walks with my husband are the best.”

Vivian’s Parting Advice

“If you are passionate about something or not 100 percent sure, try it, even if it seems scary. Don’t let naysayers dissuade you, or have you believe that you aren’t good enough. Finding your passion takes hard work and may not be easy but the result is so amazing and satisfying. It’s never too late to be the best that you can be.”

Connect with Vivian by phone (718-208-0585), email: vivfarhi@yahoo.com or on Instagram @vivfarhidesigns.

Dear Jido – March 2022

Dear Jido,
At the playground recently, my kids and I ran into a family we are friendly with. While normally
that would have been great for everyone, I knew that the child we were seeing had stayed home sick from school that day. What would be the best way to handle this to keep my kids healthy but also not insult these friends?

Signed,

Covid Confused

Dear Confused,

I was going to send you an answer but then they changed some of the rules. So, I rewrote the
answer. But before I could send it in, they changed the rules again. When I prepared my third
revision, they told me that the rules were going to be changing with the new Governor, then the new Mayor, and then that the CDC and LDH’s were going to take over jurisdiction of what the
proper and necessary precautions are for each local area.

In addition, I understand that the Supreme Court has overruled OSHA’s vaccine mandate and more changes are likely to come.

Therefore, I think it is very acceptable to tell your friends, “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind, but we’re just being extra careful.”

Be well, stay healthy.

Jido

Hope Springs Eternal and Spring Brings Hope

The saying “Hope springs eternal” has come to mean that as humans, we keep on hoping against all odds.
Gratitude and Forgiveness
As I live and learn, I joyfully discover that Jews have invented many popular and even trendy practices. Let’s start with gratitude. Our daily news feeds recommend expressing thankfulness to one’s family or spouse and reciting or journaling about three things we are grateful for as a morning, dinner, or bedtime ritual. Tips for getting through the pandemic and decreasing anxiety almost always included a gratitude routine. This exercise of gratitude originated with the tefilla Modeh Ani, which we say first thing in the morning when thanking Hashem for returning our souls to us upon waking.
I recently heard Michal Oshman, executive and author, say that Jews also invented forgiveness. As Jews, we believe in free will, we are responsible for our actions, and we emphasize the importance of seeking forgiveness from those we have wronged and doing teshuva (repentance).
Psychologists and religious leaders advocate that forgiving others by letting go of anger and hurt allows us to heal ourselves. Therefore, forgiveness can lead to optimism and hope.

Jews Invented Hope
Renowned scholar Rabbi Jonathan Sacks, a”h, proposed that Jews invented hope.

Rabbi Sacks’s theory was based on the Jewish fundamental belief in human freedom, “We are what we choose to be.” Rabbi Sacks wrote, “Humans are the only life form who can use the future tense. Only beings who can imagine the world other than it is, are capable of freedom.”

“To be a Jew is to be an agent of hope in a world… threatened by despair. Every ritual, every mitzvah, every syllable of the Jewish story… is a protest, against… resignation or the blind acceptance of fate. Judaism is a sustained struggle… against the world that is, in the name of the world that could be, should be, but is not yet… when human beings have sought hope, they have found it in the Jewish story. Judaism is the religion, and Israel the home, of hope.
Remember Avraham Avinu, who was asked to begin a new life and Moshe, who Hashem chose to lead B’nai Yisrael back to freedom and to their homeland. After the Shoah, Jews focused forward and named Israel’s national anthem Hatikvah, “The Hope.”
You too can be an agent of hope. Think about what positive actions you can take this spring, when equipped with these wonderful resources in your spiritual and mental toolbox – gratitude, forgiveness, and hope.
Spring is a time for change, rebirth, and renewal. Spring means getting outdoors and seeing things bloom, including our spirits and happiness levels.

Are You Ready To…

Shake off those winter cobwebs? Eliminate those personal weeds – bad habits or unhealthy attitudes.
Stretch yourself? Consider a different exercise routine, clean eating, or learn a new skill.
Let go of an old grudge? Replace negative thoughts and habits with positive ones.