Avraham Avinu was the quintessential self-made man. Idolaters surrounded him, yet he managed to not only recognize Gd, but to learn and teach Torah, as well. We may wonder: How did he accomplish this? 

The Special Quality of the Kidneys 

We are not alone in our curiosity. The Midrash (Bereisheet Rabbah 95:3) asks: From where did Avraham Avinu learn Torah? Rabbi Shimon answers that his two kidneys evolved into two jugs of water and streamed out Torah. How do we know that this is possible, that kidneys can help in understanding? David HaMelech (Tehillim 16:7) states, “Also in the night my kidneys reproved me.” So we see there is indeed a concept of knowledge emanating from the kidneys. 

Additionally, Hashem asks, “Who placed wisdom in the kidneys, and who gave understanding to the heart?” (Iyov 38:36). The Chida (Chomat Anach ad loc.), brought a proof to this from science.  The wise surgeons of his day, using the newly-invented microscope, saw very small veins issuing from the kidneys to the brain. They also found a connection between the kidneys and the heart. Recently, as well, modern researchers found a link between the heart, kidneys, and brain. Poor kidney function is linked to decreased blood flow to the brain, including increased risk of dementia, stroke, and memory loss. 

Tapping into Our Inner Torah 

How is this possible? How can someone really learn Torah from himself? We know we are filled with all kinds of nonsense, but are we also filled with Torah? 

Yes, a person can be filled with Torah, but he has to know how to access it, to isolate it from all the nonsense attempting to drown it out. In Alei Shur (Vol. II, p. 252), Rav Wolbe quotes the pasuk where Shlomo HaMelech teaches us, Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the counsel of Hashem will prevail (Mishlei 19:21). As the Gra explains, we think so many thoughts and have so many plans and worries, but Gdly wisdom is inside of us; we have the ability to let this wisdom rise above all the others. Our task is to find that thought of Gd within us.  

What are these many thoughts, and how do we find the thought of Gd? 

There are many different character traits and emotions – e.g., arrogance, anxiety, jealousy, and desire – inside of us. All of these traits and emotions create thoughts in our heads. These many voices, coming from the many different forces inside of us, are competing with each other. We see all of them as if projected from a movie projector in our brain. On the screen, different thoughts pop up, even as we read today’s entry in this book. 

Paying Attention to Our Own Voices 

One thought may be: Who does this rabbi think he is? Why is he spouting all this psychobabble? That may be the voice of arrogance. If we think to ourselves, What’s going on over here? I am having trouble following the rabbi’s train of thought, that may be the voice of anxiety.  

Different voices, one person. 

Imagine you’re standing outside a room, listening to someone’s voice over a speaker system. You can’t see who is talking, so to you it seems as if the various voices emanating from the speaker are coming from the same person. In reality, there is a portable microphone being passed around the room, and many different individuals are speaking.  

Similarly, all the voices in our heads are not us. 

Tuning into Our Gdly Wisdom 

The Sfat Emet, discussing the above pasuk in Mishlei, explains that everyone has Gdly wisdom, a nekudah tovah, a good point, which Hashem placed inside him. Each of us can cancel all the outside distractions and thus let this hidden wisdom come to the fore.  

On old car radios, we would turn the dial and hear many different voices, as well as static, as we searched for the station we wanted. Finally, when we tuned into the right station, all the other voices and static faded, and we were left with a single voice to listen to. 

This is what Avraham Avinu did. He tuned out all the noise and found the correct channel within himself, from which he learned the entire Torah.  

We can do the same. After all, an angel teaches every Jew the entire Torah while he is in the womb. All we have to do is remove the interference and access what is already inside us. 

TAKEAWAY

Take a moment to not just think, but to think about your thoughts. Most times, you will be pleasantly surprised by what you find there. 

1. Dror

It’s that time of year when children discuss what costumes they will wear. The older kids focus on the annual candy trade show. For teens drinking is the topic. For adults it’s time to distribute Matanot L’evyonim. And the women are quite busy with preparations for the Purim Party – doing their best to satisfy family and friends. These are just a few different ways people prepare for Purim. 

The pasuk says Achashverosh gave a banquet for seven days in the court of his palace garden for all who wanted to attend, satisfying every single individual without fail – “Kadat En Ones.” “And the rule for the drinking was, ‘No restrictions!’ for the king had given orders to every palace steward to comply with each man’s wishes” (Ester 1:8).  Achashverosh made sure to cater the banquet with every single type of food possible for all the people attending from different countries. Even special sweets were served to the children attending, to satisfy them, too. Just imagining the amount of money, time, and effort that was spent in order to coordinate such an event is enough to get one thinking: was this just a party? Or was it a mastermind plot to trap the Jewish nation once and for all? (Of course the food was all strictly kosher.) 

Some commentators add that Achashverosh not only tried to satisfy his guests’ sense of taste with food, but he also actually tried to satisfy all of their five senses, except for one. He satisfied their sense of sight with beautiful tapestries and couches made of gold and silver on pavements of marble and mosaics, their sense of touch with beds that had the most luxurious fine linens, and their sense of smell with all types of foods and fragrant aromas. 

The Missing Music 

So, what happened to sense of hearing? Many mefarshim explain that the party was missing one thing: music. 

How was it possible for such an elite, well-coordinated party not to have any music?  

The Maharam Shiff explains that one of the criteria of the party planning was to do the will of every single guest. If music had been played, it might have gone against the will of some of the guests, since not everyone enjoys the same type of music. Furthermore, one of the secret plots behind the party was to get Jews to sin of their own free will.(The Maharam Shiff, working with the opinion in the Gemara (Megilla 12a) assumes that the sin the Jews were committing was that of deriving benefit from the party of an enemy of the Jews.) If there had been music, the guests would have been forced to violate the Torah, since the Jews accepted upon themselves from the time that the Beit Hamikdash was destroyed not to listen to music and drink wine at the same time at a party (Isaiah 24:9). (This is not our custom.) 

Rav Shlomo Alkabetz was a great scholar who lived in the mid1500s. He was born in Salonika, Turkey (currently known as Greece). Rav Shlomo is well known for composing the song that is sung by all Jews around the world as they welcome the Shabbat, the “Lecha Dodi.” In 1529 Rav Shlomo wrote Matnot Levi, a sefer on Purim, as a gift to his future father-in-law.  

In his sefer Rav Shlomo comments on the wondrous reason why music was absent at Achashverosh’s party. Before a person is born, when the soul is still in heaven, all the soul can hear is the angels singing praises to Gd. This music is so programmed into the soul that each time the soul hears music in this world it automatically elevates itself back into the highest spiritual spheres. (This is one of the many reasons why one is not obligated to say a blessing on the pleasure of listening to music, as opposed to saying a blessing on other pleasures, for example on smelling spices, since music is more of a pleasure for the soul than the body.) Likewise, one of the reasons why babies are so comforted by music, to the point that they will fall asleep, is because the music that the soul just heard in heaven is still playing in their ears.  

Achashverosh knew that if the Jews would listen to their music, they would get distracted from all the food and other pleasures that were present, and their music would prevent them from sinning.  

But on the contrary, there are also a number of types of music that can actually cause one to sin, and Achashverosh knew the Jews would not show up if that type of music was played. 

The Hiddenness of Purim  

It is well-known that the story of Purim unfolded in a way where nothing seemed to be unusual. For example, we know the name Ester comes from the word “seter” hidden. In reality, everything was hidden, full of secrets and miracles. Although Hashem’s name is not mentioned in the megillah even once, we know He was there every single step of the way, preparing our salvation. 

The exclusion of music at the party is just one of many hidden examples of the extent of Achashverosh’s planning. He intended to get the Jew satisfied with strictly kosher food, and then get them to sin. Everyone knows that if someone is wearing a costume, underneath that costume is  a real person. You just can’t see him, but he is there. Mordechai realized and knew that the party was one big costume, concealing Achashverosh’s real intentions, and there was something bigger behind the party. But not many wanted to believe Mordechai. 

Purim is a great time to bring out one’s inner secret of what his soul really desires in this world. Thankfully we are blessed to live at a time with so many Mordechais who can see right through the costumes of this world, teaching and showing us right from wrong, what is a trap and what is not. B”H, very soon we will all attend the real party, the party of the dedication of the third Beit Hamikdash. 

Happy Purim!

Victor Cohen 

Since October 7th, our community has responded to the horrific attacks by Hamas by seeking to deepen our connection to the land and to the people of Israel. We pray for the welfare of our brothers and sisters, send financial aid, and organize shipments of supplies. One of the most crucial activities we have done, though, is to go to Israel ourselves. 

Normally, Israel trips are fun, with visits to the Kotel, Mearat Hamachpela, the Dead Sea, Masada, etc. Whether the trip is for a bar mitzvah, winter vacation, or otherwise, these trips leave us with memories for years to come. 

Anyone visiting Israel now, especially those participating in solidarity missions, will also have memories of their visit for years to come, but in a very different way. Of the many missions that were organized since Oct.7th, they usually share similar itineraries. Participants typically visit the attacked areas, meet with families of hostages, meet with families who lost people in the conflict, and also spend time doing hesed. 

I had the privilege of speaking in depth with some members from the Jersey Shore Solidarity Mission, which ran for five days near the end of December. After returning to Deal, some gave speeches, inspiring others to go as well. A second Jersey Shore mission was set up for mid-February. 

Let’s hear about the experiences mission members relayed after returning home. 

Starting with Hesed 

The group arrived at night, and  group members reported feeling right away that something felt different. It was not just the absence of a feeling of happy anticipation being in Israel for a simha or a hag. There was just a different feeling in the air altogether. 

 The group’s first official stop was at the hesed organization Yad Ezra v’Shulamit. The organization’s initial mandate was to send food boxes to those in need throughout Israel. The focus shifted after Oct.7th in order to help those affected by the war. The demand for food boxes skyrocketed. The Jersey Shore group went to work on the assembly line to help fill those boxes. 

Heading South to the Gaza Envelope 

The next day, the group visited the South, close to the border of  Gaza, where the October 7th attacks took place. The group’s first stop was at Moshav Tekuma, a religious communal settlement less than three-and-a-half miles from the border. Although other kibbutzim were attacked, Tekuma, with its closed front gate due to Shabbat observance, was passed over. In the area right outside of the kibbutzim where Hamas attacked  there is a literal graveyard of at least 1,500 piled up cars  that require excavating and searching to properly identify the bodies of those trapped within. Even months after October 7th, this daunting task has not been completed. One organization that is performing this heart-wrenching work is ZAKA. The full name is “ZAKA – Identification, Extraction, and Rescue – True Kindness.” ZAKA has groups of voluntary community emergency response teams all around Israel. The avodat kodesh that group members perform is legendary. Members of the mission met with ZAKA members and heard their personal stories. 

Kibbutz Be’eri and Kibbutz Alumim 

The group also visited Kibbutz Be’eri, one of the first places that was invaded. There, they were introduced to a woman who is a member of the kibbutz who gave the mission members a tour. Group members were horrified by the sight of roofs blown off, pieces of buildings missing and burnt, and a feeling of rampant destruction. Their guide told stories of who lived in each house and what happened to them. One member of the group commented that the level of brutality seemed to intensify the deeper they went into the kibbutz. One building, however, remained untouched: The shul. The group stopped there to pray minha. 

The next stop was Kibbutz Alumim. Although Kibbutz Alumim is closer to Gaza than Kibbutz Be’eri, Alumim was less impacted. The head of security told the group that Alumim, like Moshav Tekuma, is a religious settlement. Because of Shabbat, the gate to the kibbutz was locked. Therefore, terrorists could not easily get in. Also, the gate provided security for those inside of the kibbutz, giving members enough time to mobilize. When the terrorists did break in on one side, the kibbutz security fought back and actually took out the Hamas commander. While some lives were lost in Kibbutz Alumin, many more lives were saved due to that one locked gate. And, of course, due to Divine protection. 

To the Site of the Nova Festival and Ofakim 

The next part of the solidarity mission was the most emotionally challenging. Although it touches your heart even if you are far away when you hear the stories and see the pictures of what happened, it is something different to actually stand at the site where the atrocities happened. As members of the mission told me, the purpose of the mission or the “theme” was to connect directly with the people themselves. By meeting the people who had been there on the ground, and giving them support, even just by the group’s presence, they felt that would be a way to offer solace to our brothers and sisters who were hurting. 

After visiting the kibbutzim, the group travelled to the site of the Nova Festival. A guide showed them the memorial display dedicated to the 364 people who were murdered there. The guide recounted that those attending the festival heard loud booms, which, of course, were unnerving. However, they were reassured that those booms were from our side shooting into Gaza. In one kibbutz member’s words, “You could see the war going on around you.” 

Afterwards the group traveled to Ofakim and heard the famous “Savta Rachel” story about Rachel Edri. Rachel saved herself and her husband of 41 years from five armed Hamas terrorists that infiltrated her home by offering them coffee and homemade maamoul, date cookies.  

The group heard another story of amazing heroism that took place across the street from the Edri’s. The woman telling the story was the mother of a man who singlehandedly saved a family of 11,  including a one-month-old baby. Tragically, the son himself could not make it out. In that house, the dining room was set for Shabbat. It remained untouched. 

Finally, the group stopped at the northern Gaza border, right where the army trucks went in. They visited with the soldiers there and donated pairs of tefillin. 

Back to Jerusalem 

 The following day the group visited the military cemetery in Jerusalem, Har Herzl. Har Herzl includes a number of different sections, including, for example, leaders of the State of Israel, victims of terror, and fallen soldiers. At Har Herzl group members spoke with people who had lost family members, including those who had lost parents and others who had lost children. The group attended a yahrzeit ceremony for a soldier who had fallen long before October 7th. 

The group then went to speak with a woman named Deborah, who lost two sons last February, as they did not want to overlook the other tragedies that happened before Oct.7th. The group was inspired by the immense strength of Israelis after enduring such tragedy. Those who had suffered so much actually gave words of encouragement to others. Their resilience is an example for all of us to emulate. 

Out to a Horse Ranch in Samaria and Back to Jerusalem 

As the last activity of that day, the group visited Ruti’s Horse Ranch in the small settlement of Ma’alei Michmash in Samaria. Here is where a number of cowboys from the U.S. came to volunteer, even though they are not Jewish. The group wanted to get a chance to speak with the cowboys with the Southern accents, but they refused, saying that they needed to get this fence finished before the sun went down. 

In Jerusalem, there is a museum that was transformed into a warehouse after Oct.7th. The Institute for Advanced Jewish Studies, Kehillat Eretz Hemda, worked tirelessly to convert the museum into a hub where organized shipments went out to the logistical officers in every army unit. The head of the operation uses his connections to procure tactical equipment, such as thermals, binoculars, and other supplies. Also, each box sent out contains handwritten notes addressed to the soldiers. The mission group members stopped to help out and wrote some of their own notes to soldiers. Due to the proximity to the conflict, the supplies were delivered within a few hours. 

Hospital Visit, Hostage Square 

Group members were deeply affected by their visit to the Tel Hashomer hospital in Ramat Gan, which acts as a rehab facility for all injured soldiers. The group visited the hospital rooms of approximately 10-15 soldiers. The group members danced and played music with the soldiers. Their goal was to give the injured soldiers encouragement and to bring some light into their lives. 

Finally, the group ended up at Hostages Square, an open, outdoor public display where art related to the Oct.7th atrocities was posted. At the site was a long table with chairs in place for each of the missing hostages, numbering over 200. For each of the kibbutzim attacked, a place was designated for them. One group member walked to the Kibbutz Be’eri section and met with the man there. As he explained, he saw what happened there only two days ago and had no idea of what words he could say or how to help. So, helping in his own way, he gave the man a hug. 

Ishai Ribo Concert – Uplifting Broken Souls 

That night, the group attended an Ishai Ribo concert at the Ramada Hotel in Jerusalem, that was organized for families of those affected by the war. This was especially meaningful for families attending, who have had such trouble smiling for the past few months. Here they had an opportunity to be uplifted by Ishai Ribo’s beautiful music and to fully engage and enjoy. One could feel the special energy in the room. 

Jersey Shore Solidarity Mission 

There is so much more to the Jersey Shore Solidarity Mission. There is not enough room in one article to fully describe the many-faceted experiences the group was exposed to, and how each of them returned home changed in some way by what they saw and by the people they encountered and spoke with. 

I strongly encourage everyone to please take part in one of these missions to Israel. There are many to choose from, as Jews the world over mobilize to visit their brothers and sisters and to give hizuk and to comfort them in the aftermath of a harrowing experience and a war that continues. And, we all know that there are some things in this world that you really have to see with your own eyes to truly understand them. This is definitely one of them. 

May Hashem send healing to all those affected and may our efforts bring comfort to those in need. 

The Story of our Smallest Community Member, Who Survived Against All Odds 

Frieda Schweky 

This is a story demonstrating that when ordinary people are challenged, if they have a secret weapon – emunah (faith) – and a strong communal support system, then extraordinary things can happen. 

Esther and Albert Cohen had two healthy girls, born after two normal pregnancies, when they learned that Esther was pregnant with their third child. At first, the pregnancy proceeded as expected. Esther had cravings for sweets, felt tired, and experienced the typical first-trimester symptoms.  

Summer flew by, and before she knew it, Esther was preparing to host her husband’s whole family for Sukkot. Suddenly, in the final three hours before the holiday – a period known by many as “crunch time” – Esther looked down and saw that she was standing in a puddle of blood. 

“I Know This is Good…Because This is From You”  

Albert rushed her to the doctor’s office, while Esther prayed repeatedly and nervously under her breath, “Please, Hashem, let it be okay… Somehow. Please.” She did not know how this could possibly be okay, but she placed her trust in Hashem and prayed from the bottom of her heart. 

Esther shared that there’s nothing more deafening than the sound of silence when the ultrasound technician checks for a heartbeat – but to her and Albert’s relief, they heard the baby’s heartbeat. Overcome by emotion, Esther let out the cry she had been holding inside her, and she exclaimed, “Thank You Hashem!”  

Now the time came to figure out what was going on. The doctor didn’t elaborate, and simply instructed Esther to cancel her company and stay in bed. Little did she know that this would be the beginning of a very long bedrest sentence.  

The next few weeks, Esther describes, were a frantic combination of emergency appointments, a ton of bleeding, and even more tears.  

In her 16th week of pregnancy, Esther’s doctor delicately shared the dreadful news that her baby tested positive for two very serious disabilities. He urged her to go to her local hospital, Monmouth Medical Center, for a consultation.  

“This felt like a punch in the gut,” Esther recalls. “I could hardly breathe.”  

But just moments later, Esther mustered the remarkable strength and faith to do something which very few people are able to do in times of distress. She looked up and announced, “Gam zu letovah!” (“Even this is for the best!”). Turning to Hashem, she said, “I know this is good, because this is from You, but I really want a healthy baby. Hashem, by living a kollel life, we are living le’ma’alah leteva – beyond the natural domain, so I’m asking you to treat me beyond nature! Please give me a healthy baby!”  

With that, she was whisked away to the high-risk doctor.  

This doctor said that the baby’s development was two weeks behind schedule, and the fetus was showing a lot of deformities. Meanwhile, Esther’s bleeding continued, and even intensified. She was experiencing one of the most serious cases of subchorionic hematoma (bleeding in between the uterus’ wall and the sack surrounding the embryo) the doctor had ever seen. He warned Esther that she was at grave risk for preterm labor and miscarriage. 

His only advice was: “Stay on bed rest and just wait this out.”  

Esther kept thinking, “This can’t be happening…” She felt as if her whole life had just been turned upside down. 

“I Was a Mess” 

Esther was apprehensive about sharing all this news with her parents. She didn’t want to make them worry. As she debated with herself what to do, she received a text from her mother’s neighbor, Rebbetzin Molly Haber, asking how she was doing. Esther and Albert decided that the rebbetzin would be the perfect person to confide in, so they called her. After that phone call, the rebbetzin frequently visited and checked in on Esther. This was truly a blessing for Esther, as Rebbetzin Haber proved to be precisely the close friend whom Esther needed. 

The rebbetzin sensed that the physicians whom Esther had seen might not have been so reliable, and recommended that Esther see Dr. Andrei Rebarber. Dr. Rebarber no longer sees patients himself, other than in extremely rare and urgent cases. Rebbetzin Haber had the doctor call Esther, and to Esther’s surprise, he agreed to take her on as a patient. This gave her an indication of just how serious her case must have been. 

Esther chose not to share with her friends what she was dealing with, but they knew she was on bedrest. They arranged meals for Esther and her family each day, a “meal train” that continued until several months after she gave birth. But if anyone tried to call her, she hit the “ignore” button, and she answered texts with one-word, monosyllabic responses.  

“I was a mess,” she acknowledges.  

Bedrest felt like one long, bad dream. She had to quit her job, which her family depended on for income, as Albert learned fulltime in kollel. She needed to remain in bed the entire day, and was not able to even hold her children. She left her room only to eat. She became extremely weak. Albert suddenly became a mother, a nurse, and an overnight aid – in addition to his usual roles as husband and kollel student. The situation took a heavy emotional toll on Esther, as her inability to work or care for her family made her feel unproductive, unaccomplished and unfulfilled. Esther realized that she had crawled deep into a hole and mentally checked out, falling into depression. 

Just then, Hashem dropped her a life vest. Someone on a group chat asked if anyone knew about the situation of undersized babies in early pregnancy. Esther hesitated to respond, but ultimately decided to reach out. As it turns out, the girl who posed this question on the chat was going through an almost identical situation. They decided to be in this together, exchanging names and praying for each other. Additionally, Esther’s husband took on an extra seder (learning session) that he dedicated especially for his wife and unborn infant.   

From Bad to Worse… 

They went to see Dr. Rebarber in New York City. After a sonogram that felt like an eternity, he finally looked up and said to the young couple, “This is not just a placenta problem; this is a baby problem. This is one of the most deformed fetuses I’ve ever seen.” 

Albert and Esther saw the baby right there on the screen, with the spine completely curved. The baby was bent head to toe. They couldn’t see the face or heart, and one leg was backwards and had a severe clubfoot.  

In Dr. Rebarber’s office, he had them call their rabbi. They dialed rebbetzin Molly Haber and Rabbi Michael Haber, and the doctor somberly said, “I think we may have to consider terminating the pregnancy. I think It could be affecting the mom’s health.” 

Esther had thought she’d be more relieved to hear that it would all be over soon… but she wasn’t. At this point she was 20 weeks pregnant, and her baby was reading 16 weeks old.  

They settled on running a series of tests the next day, and then reassessing. They would also be going for echos to test the baby’s heart twice a week. The baby had fluid around the heart, an aortic valve issue, and numerous of holes.  

The drive home from this initial appointment right was quiet and somber. Esther was with her mother and her husband, but no one spoke. What was there to say? 

Esther says she will never forget how she felt when they came home after this visit. She was feeling so confused, with so many mixed feelings.  Additionally, she describes, she sensed “a wave of unspoken pressure from family members to abort.” At that moment, Esther knew that she was going to love this baby no matter what he or she looked like, and no matter what syndromes he or she suffered from. This was her baby, and she was going to love it unconditionally. 

Several weeks later, Esther learned that one of her lab work reports indicated the possibility that she had an autoimmune disease called “Antiphospholipid antibody syndrome.” As if things couldn’t get any worse, she now needed to take lovenox shots in her belly twice a day. And, Dr. Rebarber said that bedrest was only making matters worse. Subchorionic hematoma is a form of a blood clot, and a patient with a blood clot specifically needs to move, and not remain in bed. Unfortunately, Esther at that point felt so weak – both emotionally and physically – that she could not move even if she tried. 

“You, Hashem, Can Do Anything!” 

That week, Esther returned to her original obstetrician for a checkup. During the appointment, she asked the doctor a question. She doesn’t remember what the question was, but she’ll never forget his answer: “I can’t save your baby until 24 weeks.” 

At that moment, everything changed for Esther. It was like the clouds cleared, and she was able to see clearly for the first time since all this started. A song suddenly flew into her mind – a song about an overly self-confident doctor who is convinced that his patient’s fate lies exclusively in his hands. The song goes, “…Listen here, we’ve got a Boss. He’s bigger than me and He’s bigger than you, and He’s bigger than all of us…. The galaxies, the stars or a mosquito taking a swim makes no difference to Him!”  

Esther perked up, looked at the doctor, and said, “It was never you! You were never saving my baby!” She walked out of there and never went back.  

From that point on, Esther was a different person. She opened her siddur for the first time since her bedrest and started to pray.  

“I cried the most bitter, heartfelt tears I ever shed,” she recalls. “I cried and I cried, and I cried. I just vented to Hashem and told Him everything that was going on… The deformity, the terminating pressure, that no one believed I’d have a baby.  And then I said, ‘But none of that matters, Hashem, because You can do anything! You can give me my healthy baby – right down to the clubfoot! And when You do…I’m going to share the story with everyone, so everyone should know what You can do. And, Hashem, if it’s for my benefit that this baby shouldn’t make it, then I know this is good, because everything You do is good, and I will accept Your Will wholeheartedly.”  

Esther prayed each and every night. She would tell her husband, “During the day I go to see my high-risk doctor, and at night I have my meeting with the Real Doctor, Hashem.” She truly felt that Hashem heard her. 

However, at the next appointment the situation looked even more dire. And it continued looking worse and worse with each subsequent appointment.  

A Miraculous Birth 

When Esther reached her 29th week, and the baby was reading just 22 weeks, the heartbeat was decreasing, and the placenta showed signs of reversal – meaning, it was taking away from the baby, instead of giving to it. The pregnancy could not continue any longer. Esther went to the hospital. 

Dr. Rebarber was on vacation, but he was called back for a family emergency, and he also visited Esther in the hospital. Hashem orchestrated everything perfectly.  

The hospital staff prepared to perform an emergency c-section, in a way that would leave Esther unable to have children again. When Dr. Rebarber came to visit her, little did he know that he was Gd’s messenger, sent to plan the c-section for the following morning, in a safer way, that would allow for subsequent pregnancies.  

The neonatal staff came to speak with the couple, telling them about what to expect from a micro preemie. After listing every possible thing that could go wrong, the staff member concluded, “But, Mrs. Cohen, I’m afraid that your baby is not going to make it, because it is too small for the ventilator, and just yesterday, it failed the breathing test. I’m really sorry.” Esther thanked the staff for the information, and, recognizing that only Hashem is in charge, continued praying to Hashem for a miracle. 

After all the prep for surgery, it happened – and it happened quickly. In what felt like only two minutes, the doctor shouted, “I THINK GIRL!” and Esther literally couldn’t breathe. She looked at her husband and croaked out the word, “Pray.” She could hardly even move her lips. She felt frozen. It was the moment of life or death, and It was right now! Esther looked up and managed to utter one more prayer that everything should be okay.  

Suddenly, she saw a bloody glove push aside the blue curtain separating Esther’s face from the doctors who were operating on her. The doctor looked at her and said, “I heard your baby crying.” 

Esther’s head was spinning. The baby was CRYING! Crying means breathing. Breathing means life! Hashem gave her life! Her baby was alive! 

Albert managed to snap a few pictures of the baby before she was whisked away to the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit). Esther looked at the photo and asked the doctor, “Wasn’t the right foot backwards? Where’s the clubfoot?”  

She had kept a detailed document of all the illnesses and deformities that the doctors declared this baby to have – partly in case this information was needed later, but mostly so that she would able to share every detail of Hashem’s miracle. In the hours and days following the birth, Albert and Esther came to realize just how great this miracle was. Cardiology called to tell them they had no clue what the reports were saying, because the baby’s heart was fine. As for the fluid and the holes – orthopedics called to inform the couple that their daughter’s spine was completely straight and they saw no sign whatsoever of clubfoot. And each team had similar phone calls. Baruch Hashem!  

Esther was fully expecting her little Miracle to be a baby boy (who would be named Yehoshua). She already had two girls who were named for their grandmothers, so this baby’s name was free for them to choose. After some deliberating, Esther told her husband that she would like to name her baby Simcha.  

The next morning, when the rabbi announced her name, he exclaimed. “What a perfect name for Rosh Hodesh Adar!! ‘Mi shenichnas Adar marbim beSIMCHA’ (‘When Adar comes, we increase our joy’)!” When Esther heard that, she cried uncontrollably, feeling this was a clear sign that Hashem was with her. She had no idea that the month of Adar had just begun. (In fact, she was hardly sure what day of the week it was…)   

“It felt like a small hug from Hashem, telling me that He’s with me,” Esther reflects. 

Dr. Rebarber called Esther in shock, telling her repeatedly, “I can’t believe you have a baby!” At 485 grams (about 1 pound), Simi was one of the smallest babies born in Mount Sinai history.  “Our smallest, biggest miracle.” 

A Message of Gratitude 

In conclusion, Esther asked to share the following message with the community: 

As we approach Simi’s second birthday, we can’t be more grateful. After 188 days (roughly six long months) in the NICU, our Simi came home with a feeding tube, heart condition, and a lung condition, Baruch Hashem, after a few months, it all went away. It took a lot of PT, OT, DI, feeding therapy, speech therapy, and lots and lots of prayers. Now she’s almost two, and she’s totally up-to-par with her age group! If you saw her and didn’t know her story, you would never guess that she had any complications, and that in and of itself is a humongous miracle. Simi’s feeding tube got taken out last May. (Thank you Sophia Hazan Speech to Sprout, and Dr. Judy Dayan! And a HUGE thank you to Dr. Ezra Dayan for putting up with us almost every day!)  

Simi is walking and talking. She’s a real fire cracker! If I were to list every person that helped us along this journey, this article would never end. I’ll wrap up by saying thank you to all the therapists who helped rehabilitate Simi, to my family members who basically adopted my kids at certain points, to my husband who is the reason I’m healthy, mentally and otherwise, and who is my rock, my biggest fan, and our superman, and of course my friends and community members who cooked and prayed for a good outcome. We didn’t know how her story would play out, but we are forever grateful to all those who supported and prayed for our miracle – because we got it!