Miriam Sasson

Or at least I try to keep traveling to a minimum. I’m referring specifically to road trips lasting over an hour. You see, I don’t do well in cars. I’m one of those people you don’t want in your car if you’re going far. I grow cranky, I nag, I ask to turn the heat up and the music down, and, best of all, I ask, “How much longer ‘til we’re there?” (Sound like any of your kids?!)

On the way there, we laughed, we schmoozed, and we were at the hall in no time. Phew! That was not so terrible. One hour later, we were back in our seats (with me in the front, of course, to avoid carsickness) cruising our way back home. At some point before the Outerbridge Crossing –

 POP!

Hissssssssssss.

The four of us gave a collective groan. We knew precisely what those sounds were all about. I glanced at my phone. 10:50pm. I knew I was in for a late night.

We quickly called Chaveirim of Lakewood, who dispatched a volunteer from their Interstate Chaveirim group. Interstate Chaveirim sends out volunteers to help out fellow Jews stranded on highways. Keep in mind that we simultaneously called all of the roadside assistance companies out there to affix our donut and help us hit the road. One by one, the company representatives informed us that it would be quite a while or they would be unable to help us altogether as our highway was a “restricted highway,” whatever that meant. Somehow, Chaveirim knew what to do.

At twelve midnight, an old van pulled up behind us. Two yeshiva boys in black pants and jackets alighted, prepared to help us with our tire. They yanked, they turned, they banged while the four of us lingered on the shoulder, hugging our coats in the rainy outdoors. What a peculiar sight we must have been, four exhausted looking women giggling on the highway!

But in the end, (end, as in at two in the morning) we made it home in our donut-bedecked Sienna.

Tucked cozily in bed, I reflected in an exhausted stupor…

My husband and I were once driving down a busy street in Brooklyn. We heard shouting nearby and rolled down our windows to better listen. Though it was dark, we made out the silhouette of a middle-aged woman with lots of curly hair sitting on the curb near a black Jeep. She was angrily slapping her phone against herself and muttering choice words. She was ranting, “What am I supposed to be doin’ if my car died and I ain’t got nobody to help me at this hour?!” (It was late then, too.) It had occurred to me then that this lady had no one she could reach out to for help. What would shedo? I had wondered at the time.

And I am so fortunate to be part of the Jewish People. That night, on the shoulder of the highway, I solidified in my mind what I already knew deep down. All of the Nation of Yisrael is one body. Were one limb to mistakenly hurt another, would the injured limb retaliate? Never. Those limbs are both part of something bigger. All of us Jews are part of something bigger – we are like one body. We love one another. We do for each other because we care.

Thank you, Chaveirim, for rekindling my appreciation towards my fellow brother. Thank you for the renewed pride I have in being part of a nation that is one united community. Thank you for waking up and coming out just because you care.

Frieda Schweky

On May 6th, 2020 an exciting food and events expo is coming to London. It’s called KTrade, and it is the first-ever European based food show to spotlight kosher products. The creator of the event recognized the  lack of kosher products in the European kosher supermarkets, and decided to take a bold step to address this lack. For example, if one goes into a kosher supermarket in London intending to buy a specific type of cheese, it is not unusual for him to discover that it is out of stock that week. This happens with countless ingredients daily that seem to randomly become scarce. Additionally, in Europe shops carry mainly traditional item. For some reason, Europeans are not experiencing the kosher food renaissance that we have become accustomed to in New York and elsewhere in the United States. New kosher products that are hitting the markets in the U.S.  are not getting to the vast European and Israeli markets. This is what drives this show forward, the incredible untapped potential of the European market.

Business Owners and Consumers Welcome

Thus far, approximately 250 companies will be exhibiting in this European based kosher food show. It is currently about 65% full, and counting. About 3,000 people are expected to attend, however not all will be required to work in the food industry. Usually, food conventions are strictly business oriented. Attendees include buyers, manufacturers, distributors, and suppliers, who come to make new connections and ultimately, to expand their businesses. What is so unique about this show is that the exhibitors will have a chance to display and to give to out samples of their products to consumers as well. The day will be divided, with some hours dedicated exclusively for businesses, and some scheduled for both businesses and  consumers. This expands opportunities for businesses even further, since ultimately consumer purchase patterns drive buyers purchases. Many kosher food manufacturers in Europe ship their goods to the United States. These manufacturers must take long and expensive fights to attend trade shows such as this. However, this show is more centrally located in London, with flights only a few hours away from Israel and Europe. This will result in an even larger influx of specialty European brands turning out to display their products. Kosher food brands from Canada, the United States, Switzerland, Israel, Italy, and all over Europe will be attending the KTrade show to build their businesses and to branch out. The show’s organizer promises this show to be different, exciting, and an event everyone will want to come back to.

KTrade Sizzles Both Day and Night

In addition to the daytime food show, there will be a more exclusive evening event. This special event will give suppliers and buyers yet another opportunity to network, while spending quality time together, allowing them to build better relationships for the future.

KTrade plans to make this the largest, most successful kosher food show in the world, and thus far it’s shaping up to be just that. The main goal is to broaden the span of kosher products that kosher European supermarkets have to offer, while simultaneously opening up a new market place for the rest of the kosher world to branch into, offering endless profitable opportunities.

The KTrade show will take place at Excel London, Royal Victoria Dock, 1 Western Gateway, Royal Docks, London E16 1XL, United Kingdom. For more information on this show visit the website www.koshertrade.co.uk 24 hour live chat, or email info@jtrade.co.uk, or call 1-845-203-1462 or +442088061998.

Frieda Schweky

A special event for our community’s singles was held last month under title “Finding the Right One,” featuring a moving and informative address by one of the community’s most esteemed rabbis, Rabbi Eli J. Mansour. The event, which took place on November 19th at the Edmond J. Safra Synagogue in Brooklyn, was organized by Touvi Assis, along with his wife Jennifer, who sponsored the class in honor of their children.

“I was hoping at least 40-50 singles would show up so the rabbi would feel it was worth his time,” said Assis. “We were both overwhelmed by the turnout. We had to open the upstairs seating and add folding chairs to accommodate the 450 young men and women who came out to hear the rabbi!”

Assis said he organized the event because he felt a strong need to help the many young men and women in our community who feel confused, who are not certain what to look for when searching for a partner, where to look, and what route to take to find a soulmate.

Rabbi Mansour began the class by commending those who took the time and the initiative to attend. He said that simply showing up is a step in the right direction towards getting married, as it signifies the hishtadlut – personal effort – that one needs to make to learn about the mitzvah of marriage, and when Hashem sees one doing his part, He will then step in to do the rest.

Loving Through Giving

Next, the rabbi addressed the proverbial elephant in the room – the misconceptions that many people have about love and marriage due to their exposure to the surrounding culture. The message we receive from modern culture is that the most important thing is attraction and good looks. But while the superficial attraction of physical beauty is useful in initially catching attention, it eventually wears off. Infatuation, the rabbi explained, is society’s confused interpretation of love. From the Torah’s perspective, love develops over time; it is not a spontaneous emotional reaction. And the way it develops is through giving and investing in a person.

The rabbi noted that the Hebrew word for love is ahavah, which stems from the root “hav“ – “give.” He explained this concept by way a scientific study which discovered that when a baby is first born, the mother automatically loves the child more than the father does. This is because the mother has already invested so much time and energy into making the baby, whereas the father had done very little to this point. True love is experienced through the investment of time and effort. Society tells us of “love at first sight,” but we need to move away from this perspective, and understand that love is created, and doesn’t just happen on its own in an instant.

Turning his attention to the process of finding and selecting a spouse, the rabbi stated plainly, “We’re overthinking it.” From what he sees, many singles are “searching for something that doesn’t exist: perfection.” The rabbi insisted that “no one is perfect,” and so there is no sense for trying to find the “perfect” match.

“That is the exact point of marriage – to grow together, to learn to tolerate each other’s imperfections, and to try to reach perfection together.”

The Preferred Route

Rabbi Mansour also spoke about matchmaking, which he described as “Gd’s preferred route.” Acknowledging that this system has its flaws, as evidenced by the “horror stories” we’ve all experienced or heard about, the rabbi insisted that the alternatives are worse. One benefit of having a “middle man” is avoiding the awkward and uncomfortable experience of telling a prospective match that one is not interested after one or two dates. The shadchan (matchmaker) is also available for advice if a specific question arises, such as a potential “red flag” that is best to be detected early on.

The rabbi said that if matchmaking was good enough for our patriarch Avraham, who sent his trusted servant, Eliezer, to find a bride for Yitzhak, then it should be good enough for us, as well. Even if for some the process seems strange and conjures images of Fiddler on the Roof, this ancient tradition is the least complex and most effective route to find the right one. If you happen to find someone a different way, the rabbi says, then “that’s great, and all the power to you!” But if you are first considering where to look for a mate, keep an open mind when it comes to matchmaking.

The Broken Ankle

Rabbi Mansour told the story about a couple that met through a rabbi and a shadchan. The girl, whom most would describe as “regular,” went on a Community Center ski trip and broke her ankle getting off the bus on the first day. She spent the trip sitting-out, injured, and unable to enjoy the activities with her friends as she had planned. Someone gave her a recording of a class by our community’s esteemed Rabbi Shlomo Diamond. That one recording led her to hundreds more, and wound up changing her whole outlook on life as well as her entire future. Meanwhile, over in Lakewood, a 24-year-old yeshiva student was seeing all his friends get married, but was content just “doing his thing,” without rushing to find his soulmate – until a conversation with his rabbi, Rabbi Diamond.

“I don’t understand,” Rabbi Diamond said. “Why do you put on tefillin in the morning? Why do you observe Shabbat?”

The young man replied, “I do them because they are mitzvot, of course.”

“Getting married is also a mitzvah,” Rabbi Diamond said to the young man. “You have to put in the effort to fulfill it, no less than other mitzvot.”

And thus the girl who would not have been ready to marry a Lakewood Yeshiva boy were it not for a broken ankle, and the yeshiva boy who wasn’t trying to get married, were introduced at the exact right time, and those two are today Rabbi Eli and Sandra Mansour.

Rabbi Mansour emphasized that he searched for a spouse through a matchmaker, and saw Gd’s hand in the process at each step along the way. When all is said and done, the rabbi commented, whatever we try, it’s all up to Hashem to connect us to the right person, and each person must put in the effort and do the best he or she can, leaving the rest to Hashem. And for this reason, the rabbi explained, throughout the story of Eliezer’s journey to find a bride for Yitzhak, he is never mentioned by name, and is called instead “the servant” or “the man” – because he was facilitating Gd’s work. It wasn’t him; he was just a servant of Gd.

After his speech, Rabbi Mansour opened the floor to questions, and somebody asked the rabbi for guidance as to what qualities one should look for when searching for a spouse. The rabbi replied that a boy should try to find an optimistic girl, a girl who speaks positively about others, doesn’t gossip, gives people the benefit of the doubt, and has a certain degree of modesty. As far as what to look for in a young man, the rabbi said it is all about middot –refined character. Whether or not the boy has mastered large portions of the Talmud is far less important than his being sensitive and respectful. A man should have fear of Gd, be honest, control his anger, and be soft-spoken.

The rabbi stressed the importance of prayer in the search for one’s soulmate but warned that one should not to pray for a specific person. Only Hashem knows who one’s soulmate is, so one should not limit himself or herself.

Both the organizers and attendees agreed that the event was a resounding success, and plans are underway for future events.

Video and audio recordings of Rabbi Mansour’s class are available at iTorah.com, under the title, “Finding The Right One” (code SB527).

Pnina Souid

Our community has, thank God, been blessed by both rapidly growing numbers and a steadily increasing thirst for knowledge and guidance.

This thirst can be seen wherever we turn – in the ever expanding yeshivot and girls’ schools, the plethora of opportunities for serious Torah learning at night for working men, and evening classes throughout the day and evening for women and girls. It can be seen in the growing popularity of Torah websites and apps produced by our community, and the wealth of quality Torah literature published by our community’s rabbis. Before our eyes, the dream of our grandparents who emigrated to these shores from Syria is being fulfilled – the dream of a vibrant community of Jews committed to studying and practicing our ancient traditions and following halachah in accordance with the rulings of the Shulhan Aruch.

Many said that this could not happen in the United States – but here we are, seeing it happen right in front of us.

But with this thirst for knowledge and guidance comes a need for competent scholars who have mastered the enormous corpus of halachic literature, have been trained to make halachic decisions, understand the realities of the 21^st century, and have the skills to communicate the timeless wisdom and laws of the Torah to today’s Jews clearly, coherently, accurately, and effectively.

In other needs, our community needs rabbis for millennials – rabbis equipped with both comprehensive scholarship and a keen understanding of modern life.

Training a New Generation of Poskim

Meeting this need is the ambitious goal set by Rav Shay Tahan, shelit”a, a young but widely-respected Sephardic posek educated and trained by a diverse group of scholars and institutions. An alumnus of the Mirrer Yeshivah, Rav Tahan was ordained by numerous Torah luminaries – both Ashkenazic and Sephardic – including Rav Bentzion Mutsafi, former Sephardic Chief Rabbi Eliyahu Bakshi-Doron, former Rosh Yeshiva of Mir Rav Shmuel Birnbaum, and the renowned posek Rav Yisrael Belsky, among others. Rav Tahan underwent intensive halachic training under the guidance of Rav Belsky.

Rav Tahan’s passion for learning and dedication to the Jewish People drove him to establish a “Bet Hora’ah” – a center of halachic guidance, where complex questions can be brought to a staff of outstanding scholars. About three years ago, Bet Hora’ah was situated in the basement of the Ohel Moshe synagogue in Flatbush, and then evolved into simply names, phone numbers, and emails of competent scholars who were available for guidance. Rav Tahan then decided that the time had come to establish a special kollel that would train poskim – halachic decisors.

What makes this new institution unique is that the students are not merely committed to full-time, advanced study. They do not just learn; they receive training to acquire the knowledge, methodology, and skills needed to apply the enormous and intricate halachic system to real-life circumstances in the 21^st century. This requires not only the extraordinary breadth of knowledge, but also an understanding of our society and of the new realities to which halachah must be applied.

The students delve into the intricacies of the laws of kashrut – including determining the status of different foods, the kashering process, and insect infestation – and of Shabbat, family purity and Pesach, and much more. Their curriculum also includes the study the laws of safrut – the writing of Torah scrolls, tefillin, and mezuzot, and the guidelines for determining when one of these articles is unsuitable for use. Rav Tahan, a certified sofer, emphasized that there is a lack of qualified Sephardic sofrim, and so special attention is being paid to this particular area of halachah.

The Birth of a Community Kollel

Around three years ago, Rav Tahan first established a small kollel consisting of four students, with the help of Rabbi Zechariah Avezov, a student of Rav Haim Benoliel and a student at Yeshiva Torah Vodaath. Housed in Ohel Moshe synagogue, the kollel rapidly grew and soon outgrew its small premises.

The solution came in the form of Congregation Bnai Yosef on Ocean Parkway and Avenue P – affectionately known in the community as “The Sitt Shul.” Rav Haim Benoliel and Rav Maoz Raful warmly invited this special kollel – which has been named Kollel Shaare Ezra – to Bnai Yosef, a vibrant center of Torah learning in our community, which is abuzz day and night with classes, minyanim, and other programs.

“This community Kollel – Kollel Shaare Ezra –  has set for itself a number of important goals that will be its highest priorities,” Rabbi Tahan explained. “It seeks to advance the avrechim [students] so they become the next generation of rabbis and poskim capable of leading, teaching, and guiding. Secondly, the kollel aims to offer Torah study opportunities to the throngs of people who come daily to pray at Bnai Yosef. The kollel is a place where they can learn before or after the prayers, consult with a rabbi, find a havruta [study partner], or just sit and absorb the ‘kol Torah,’ the sweet sound of the Torah.”

The new institution has thus set a bold vision of working with both laymen and seasoned scholars – offering opportunities for working men looking to add some Torah to their day, but also building the next generation of scholars who will continue the unbroken chain of halachic tradition that began at Sinai and has been carried to our day and age.

These two goals come together in the special relationships that have been forged between the kollel’s students and the committed laymen who come to study at Bnai Yosef. The warm, meaningful bonds between the scholars and laymen beautifully exemplify the kollel’s commitment to uplift and serve our community, and our community’s commitment to support its Torah scholars and deepen its connection to our spiritual heritage.

A Blueprint of Success

Kollel Shaare Ezra currently consists of 20 students, some of whom have already received rabbinical ordination, and some who are still taking their exams. The students learn all day in other institutions, and then assemble in the evenings at Bnai Yosef for special learning and training in practical halachah. There are two different tracks – one for those reviewing material in preparation for their semichah (ordination) exams, and another for the study of safrut. The kollel’s programs run from 8:30-10pm, followed by arvit prayers.

Most of the learning is done havruta-style, in pairs. Additionally, Rabbi Tahan lectures twice each week. One lecture is devoted to medical-related topics, such as the status of DNA testing in halachah, the subject of vaccination, and many others. His second weekly shiur focuses on the laws of safrut. Many of Rabbi Tahan’s lectures are recorded and available online at RabbiShayTahan.com.

One of the kollel’s distinguished products is Rabbi Zechariah Avezov, who also spent many years learning in Yeshiva Mikdash Melech and Yeshiva Torah Vodaath, and now serves as the Menahel (administrator) of Kollel Shaare Ezra, working as Rabbi Tahan’s “right-hand man” in managing the kollel and ensuring its success.

Another product of Rabbi Tahan’s kollel whom we might call a “rising star” in the community’s rabbinate is Rabbi Jeremy Makabi. An alumnus of Yeshiva Mikdash Melech, Rabbi Makabi received practical halachic training under Rabbi Tahan, and is available to answer halachic questions and provide guidance by phone.

A Message to the Community

Rabbi Tahan and Rabbi Avezov emphasize their desire to be fully engaged with the community, and to be available to assist anyone.

“We are here for you,” they assure us. “If you are Jewish, you are a part of us, no matter what. The kollel members are here both for their own education and also to assist you – to set up havrutot, learning partners or anything in the realm of Torah learning and mitzvah observance.”

Rav Tahan invites anyone with a question or in need of halachic guidance to contact him by phone call, text or email. The rabbi has also harnessed the power of technology for his sacred cause by building a public media presence, delivering shiurim on Torah Anytime (RabbiShayTahan.com) and Ask Halacha.com. In addition, Rabbi Tahan delivers a halachah class on the radio, at 88.7 FM, after the morning news. On Fridays, listeners can call in with their questions for the rabbi.

Rav Tahan says that anyone interested in receiving more information about the kollel, its programs, and how to get involved, is welcome to come visit the kollel any evening, in the Torah Center area of Congregation Bnai Yosef, on Ocean Parkway and the corner of Avenue P. He also makes himself “on call” around the clock, available by phone or text at 347-666-3467, and by email at shaytahanny@gmail.com. The Menahel of the Kollel, Rabbi Avezov, is also available to answer halachic questions, and may be reached at 347-938-4969.

We live in a generation that has seen a remarkable resurgence of intensive Torah study and halachic commitment, a generation that understands and appreciates the beauty of our ancient tradition, the binding nature of halachah, and that halachah is to govern every aspect of our lives, thereby making our lives richer, more meaningful, and more connected to Hashem. Kollel Shaare Ezra has answered our generation’s call for guidance, and is placing itself at the forefront of the movement towards greater religious devotion in our community, and to help us reach greater heights and succeed in living the way the Torah wants us to live.

Traveling with a child is not an easy task for parents. When traveling with a child with special needs, the challenges are even greater. It can be daunting, precisely because it does what we expect vacations to do, take us away from routine, which is what these children rely on. Temptation to stay home and avoid unpredictable reactions such as meltdowns, sensory issues, social fears, or just the difficulty of traveling with medical equipment, and wheelchairs can be discouraging. Know how invaluable it is for the whole family to go on vacation, it helps avoid resentment towards the child with special needs. It is just as important to the child with special needs for his/her growth.

Preparation is your best offense and defense. To help make your next trip a little easier, here is a list of things to consider when planning your vacation and packing. There is no guarantee it’s going to be smooth sailing but following these suggestions will make your family vacations more enjoyable.

• Crowds and long waits can make children anxious and tired and provoke meltdowns. Try booking your reservation during off-peak hours if possible.
• Find an airline that offers nonstop flights, although the cost may be higher so that you don’t have to worry about changing planes.
• While booking the flight, mention that you will need extra assistance. Most airlines, car rental companies, and hotels have dedicated teams for that purpose.
• Notify the airlines that you will be traveling with a wheelchair, car seat, or medical equipment; as each airline and airport have their own policies. Never assume that your experience going, will be the same returning. Confirm the policies for your return home. Take note of the agent’s name and direct extension for future reference.
• If you are traveling with a car seat, make sure it’s FAA approved and not expired. Car seats now have expiration dates.
• If your child uses an electric wheelchair check with the airlines as the battery of the chair can be an issue. It may be a good idea to rent one at your destination rather than traveling with your own.
• If you are traveling by cruise, check their policies regarding an individual with special needs.
• When picking a seat on the airplane check out Seat Guru. This site lets you evaluate seating based on legroom, seat width, overhead storage, dc power, food, and internet accessibility. This helps you determine where your child might do best on the plane. You’ll want to consider proximity to the restroom and whether a window, middle, or aisle seat is best.
• Get a doctor’s note explaining your child’s condition which is helpful when asking for special accommodations. Carry it with you as you don’t know where you will need it.
• Get contact details of a doctor, specialists, or urgent care at your destination, so in the event of emergencies you are prepared.
• Bring a copy of his/her birth certificate and immunizations.
• Evaluate medications, so you won’t run out while you are away or immediately after returning. Remember to take medication in your carry-on bag and not the check in bag in case there is a delay, or it gets lost in transit.
• Anticipate which situations pose the greatest challenges, by having plenty of activities and supplies to engage the child. Some must-pack items may include; a tablet, laptop, or smartphone with games, music, or movies that don’t require internet access. Headphones to drown out noise, snacks, wipes, favorite blanket, stuffed animals, quiet toys, books, sweater, change of clothes, diapers if necessary, sippy cup or bottle, and Dramamine (for motion sickness).
• If your child is prone to running off, an ID bracelet is important. Dress your child in bright colors, it makes it easier to spot him in a crowd.

Security screenings can be stressful, to say the least, all while trying to keep track of all your belongings, your family, and of course the child with special needs. Add to that the fear of what TSA is going to question. Be calm, polite, and respectful no matter how silly or ridiculous the question or request may seem. Getting confrontational with security only ends up slowing down the process and is not a good idea.

Be assertive! Your child is entitled to VIP treatment everywhere you go. Many establishments have extra amenities or special provisions, they just don’t advertise them, so always ask!