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Shavuot – Celebrating Our Bond with Hashem

LEON SAKKAL 

 

     More than 3,300 years ago, the Jewish nation received their most precious gift. It is a gift so grand and so profound that it is coveted by all who comprehend its value. 

Surviving the Test of Time 

    Over the course of history, there have been those who have reconstructed this special gift, and those who have tried to replicate its profundity with counterfeits. It has been the victim of evil innovators who have tried to modernize it and has been misconstrued by outsiders who erroneously absorbed its breadth of wisdom. It is only the Jewish People, the chosen recipients of this gift, who have held on to its authenticity, tightly preserving its purity through the test of time. I am referring, of course, to the Torah given at Har Sinai. 

Holy Matrimony 

    Soon, we will celebrate our acceptance of the Torah with the holiday of Shavuot. Our rabbis have compared this special time to the moment of marriage. With Mount Sinai serving as a most suitable canopy, the holiday of Shavuot is considered the long-awaited wedding day between the Almighty and the Jewish people. Instead of a ring or a coin, Gd gives his bride, the Jewish People, something far more precious. He betroths them with his holy Torah, to which we respond, “Na’asaeh ve’nishma.” 

    Why is this transmittal of the Torah specifically compared to marriage? Why not compare it to the relationship between a mother and her child, or maybe to that of a boss and an employee? 

    The answer lies in what separates marriage from all other relationships: Marriage is a testament of commitment. It represents the deepest connection two parties can share. That is why the marital knot is so difficult to break in both an emotional and a spiritual sense – because both husband and wife have invested so much in one another. It is this commitment that is celebrated so joyously at a wedding. 

The Proper Perspective 

Put yourself in a modern-day wedding hall, observing the emotional display of unity as the bride extends her hand to receive her long-awaited ring. Now imagine the groom, instead of taking out a ring, pulls out a large textbook. “Here!” he says. “Here is a list of the 613 laws  you must follow in order for this marriage to work.” 

    Certainly, that would be a surprising tactic! Indeed, if one views the “ring” we received at Har Sinai as solely an oversized book of laws, they would find it utterly impossible to reconcile this difficulty.  

    Consider a different perspective, however. Before once again accepting the Torah on Shavuot this year, let’s recall the utter greatness and pricelessness of our most treasured possession. Let’s remember that our Torah is the ultimate wellspring of truth, “for everything is in it.” 

    Is it comprised of many laws and statutes? It is – as it should be. After all, they are the guidelines and procedures we rely on for living a life of meaning and gratification in both this world and the next. Put in this light, can the Torah really be called a “book of laws?” To the contrary! It is rather a precious diamond we will never let out of our sight. 

    Lastly, let us remember that the Torah is ours to consult in every situation. It is an unchanging and unerring source of direction for the entire Jewish nation. 

Cause for Celebration 

    Like a marriage, Shavuot marks a total commitment between two parties who love each other, Gd and His chosen people. The Jewish nation’s declaration of “Na’asaeh Ve’nishma, We will do and we will understand,” was a promise to follow the laws under all circumstances, just as the bride pledges her unconditional faithfulness to her beloved. In the same manner that the groom accepts upon himself to love and cherish his bride forever, Gd commits himself continually to the never-ever-forsaken Jewish People. 

    We celebrate Shavuot because it is the anniversary of the original commitment made at Mount Sinai. The festival does not only commemorate ancient history. It is a yearly renewal of the original nuptial vows between us and Gd. The word “Shavuot” has the same root as the Hebrew word shevuah, an oath. Each year on Shavuot, we renew our oath to our beloved Creator. 

    Many people have the custom to stay up all night, engaged in Torah study. This practice reenacts the great excitement and love of the wedding night. The Torah is our wedding ring. We show our admiration of it through our study of its laws and lessons. Living a Torah-based life with great pride is a sign of our eternal commitment to Gd. 

    As Shavuot is truly the wedding season of the Jewish people, allow me to wish you all a mabrouk & mazal tov!

The True Meaning of Travel

Kelly Jemal Massry 

According to the dictionary, the verb “travel” means “to make a journey, typically of some length, or abroad.” There’s a lot to be gleaned from this definition, with insightful nuggets that can be used to fully appreciate the unique gifts offered by the travel experience. 

First, let’s consider the act of making a journey. The symbolic undertones can’t be ignored. They beg the question: how will you emerge changed from the process you’ve undertaken to uproot yourself from one place to go to another? How will you make good on the financial, physical, logistical, and even psychological efforts you’ve expended on this endeavor? 

Travel does take a lot out of us. The hassle of baggage check-in, airport security, connecting flights, red eyes, and jet lag is enough to send us spinning. So, before you get on that plane and make your journey, consider why you’re doing so. Is it to spend much-needed time with loved ones? If so, then when you get to your destination, truly look at them. Engage them in deep conversation. Stop to take note of the radiance of their smile and the peal of their laughter. Put away the phones, the computers, even the Kindles – anything that will sink you into the mindless black hole that has no place on your trip. In today’s day and age, “unplugging” may entail withdrawal symptoms, but the detox is necessary in order to get the most out of this time of closeness. 

Consider the next part of our definition – “to make a journey, typically of some length.” Focus on the stretch of time you’ve given yourself to live outside your routine. Make the most of the blissful respite you now have, by relaxing and releasing tension. All trips come to an end, but until they do, they last a certain amount of days. Stretch out those days to the last minute. Revel in the gift of leisure, which really amounts to the gift of time – to sleep, to read, to enjoy family and friends.

There is nothing like these moments Hashem grants us – when the normal rhythm of our lives seems to freeze and we exist in whatever exotic bubble we find ourselves in. Whether the travel is for the occasion of a holiday or a winter vacation, the fact of the matter is, it’s special because it’s separate from our regular routine.  On that note, seal your boundaries hermetically. Draw a clear line between work and play, and do your best not to bring work along with you. Take a similar attitude towards distractions that knock you off-center, that keep you from being in the moment. Unburden yourself of all of it, and let that lightness carry you through to a new state of being. If you’re fortunate, even after the “length of time” has expired and your vacation has regrettably ended, some of that special feeling will remain, and you’ll return to your workplace reenergized and happier. 

Now for the final part of our definition, one word that has us traversing the globe in our minds: abroad. While this may not true for everyone traveling this season – or at least for those who will not leave the country – the term still calls attention to setting. It bids us to look around, to appreciate where we are, whatever locale we’re in. While you’re traveling, observe differently. Walk more slowly. Find the right words to employ to comment on what amazes you.  Get your scenic snapshots, if only to remind yourself of the picturesque images when you’re back home. After all, you’ve planted yourself in a new part of the natural world, and part of honoring that fact is letting it seep into you.

This year, as you make your journey, for whatever length of time, whether it’s close to home or abroad, consider what it is you’re really after. Remind yourself that when you travel, you hope to gain a new perspective, to be someone other than yourself for a while, and to be with the people you love in new contexts. We should view our trip as the grandest of opportunities – to unplug, to relax, to not work, to squeeze the life out of every moment. Seen that way, the act of travel doesn’t seem so exhausting. It seems, in fact, like a cause for celebration – what a gift we’ve been given!

It is our hope that this attitude of hope, renewal, and gratitude will enrich your travel experience – and that you can bring some of that positive attitude back with you, even after you’ve returned home. 

Safe travels!   

Accomplished Artist Captures Jewish Themes with a Spiritual Twist

Marilyn Faham                 

 

A truly gifted painter, Raphael Morcillo is known for his Judaic scenes of the twelve tribes and the splitting of the Sea of Reeds, emblazoned in colorful expanses.  Raphael’s oversized works incorporate Jewish symbolism in an expressive, dynamic style.   

Born in Paris, France, Raphael moved to Miami, Florida with his family when he was ten years old. In ninth grade he attended DASH, Design Architecture Sr. High School, in Miami and he immersed himself in his painting. As a student in high school, he drew animals and human anatomy in his sketchbook.    

The following year, in tenth grade, Raphael attended Yeshiva Toras Chaim in Northern Miami.  During that period, he worked in his studio on his canvases.  “My pieces at that time were pop art, very shiny, geometric works.”  Raphael recalls that during SAT week one of his pieces was delivered via private jet as a gift to a special client.  His early paintings were influenced by graffiti and different commercial/pop artists.  His father, Hugo, encouraged him to upgrade to more formal compositions.  Hugo told his son, “Whatever is hard or complicated, draw it!” 

Since then, Raphael’s subjects have included scenes from Kohanim at the Kotel, to a lion symbolizing kingship with a timepiece, to the Splitting of the Sea of Reeds.  

“I don’t sketch anything [before painting on the canvas].  I take a very big canvas and sketch with paint.  If to my eyes it’s not perfect, I paint right on top of it,” Raphael states. 

One of the artist’s recent paintings, “The Yam Suf” measures 12 feet tall and five feet wide.  The painting instantly draws the viewer into the dramatic Splitting of the Sea of Reeds.  B’nai Israel cross the sea in this modern rendition, which shows the sea emblazoned in blue with crests of white foam.  Hebrew words from Perashat Beshalach spray upward from the parting waters.  Executed in a beautifully  expressive style, Raphael creates an expansive scene that truly engages and uplifts the viewer. 

In another major piece, “Birkat Kohanim,” Raphael divides the scene into two canvases measuring six feet by four feet each.  The majestic Kotel stands in the background, rendered in expressive dabs of rich color.  Covered in prayer shawls, the kohanim recite Birkat Kohanim in the foreground. Spirituality and energy are expressed in this captivating work against the sanctity of the Kotel.  

 As a student at the Mikdash Melech yeshiva, Raphael’s Torah studies brought a new depth and significance to his work. He recently made a portrait of the rosh yeshivah of the Brooklyn branch of Mikdash Melech, Rabbi Haim Benoliel, and of the yeshivah’s patron Albert Dweck.  The rosh yeshivah’s portrait now hangs in the rabbi’s home in Brooklyn. 

Raphael recently met with Rabbi Benoliel. Raphael discussed his plans to create eight to ten new works to be showcased at an upcoming fundraising event for the new building addition to Mikdash Melech.       

If you are interested in learning more about Raphael’s work, please contact: karine.abbou@gmail.com.

Mabrouk – April 2023

Births – Baby Boy 

Robert & Naomi Rezak 

Mr. & Mrs. Eli Yazni 

Jack & Stacy Hanan 

 

Births – Baby Girl 

Daniel & Marilyn Hedaya 

Joey & Rital Saban 

 

Engagements 

Eddie Cohen to Shelly Betesh 

Shlomo Dancour to Rachel Shami 

Reuven Jurrist to Esther Eiler 

Judah Esses to Emily Blumberg 

Ezra Schweky to Michelle Kairey 

Bert Chabot to Lizzy Nasar 

Joseph Moyal to Simmy Kaplan 

Raymond Braha to Esther Kishk 

Irwin Leventer to Raisy Jrada 

 

Weddings 

Martin Cohen to Rachel Serouya 

Joey Saban to Linda Sasson 

Jack Shekfati to Rosie Halbieh 

Propel Entrepreneurs Launch Event

Thanks to the generosity of Sharyn and Ezra S. Ashkenazi, PROPEL launched a new division designed to support the women entrepreneurs of the community. The division, PROPEL Entrepreneurs, was named in honor of PROPEL supporter Mrs. Chella Safra, and Rebecca Harary, co-founder of PROPEL.  

On February 1st, the new division hosted an impressive event at The Club showcasing remarkable working women who were all professionally successful and to whom  other community women could relate to who were aspiring to launch their own entrepreneurial dreams. The room was filled, and included in the audience were many PROPEL Ambassadors – there to support the next cohort of working women. Among them, Joyce Silverman of Joyce D. Silverman Interiors, Evet Balas of Light Lab, Julie Maleh of Jus by Julie, Joy Bijou of Hydrangeas & Co, Stacy Ayash, an interior designer, Barbara Kroub of Peace of Cake, Shelly Shmool of By Shelly, Nicole Cohen of Sketch 42, Alexis Cohen, designer of custom cakes and desserts, Karen Sabbagh, CBC Counselor, Celia Naomi, an artist, and Celia Beyda of On Reserve Events.  

PROPEL’s all women professional team, alongside its board of directors led by Dr. Gayle Krost, inaugurated PROPEL Entrepreneurs with an all-star panel that included Batya Cohen, founder of Floorplay, Julie Danziger, co-founder of Embark Travel, Jennifer Nisan, founder of Front Row Live, and Sonia Mosseri, founder of Still Here in New York. 

The female talent that evening included our moderators, three of PROPEL’s board members, Gitta Kaplan, attorney for Mamiye Brothers, Elaine Parker, Director of Business Development and Marketing Solutions at Promoshop, and Heleyne Mishan Tamir, co-founder and executive at luxury makeup brand, Surratt Beauty, as well as the owner of Bloom Bar Flower Market.  

The questions asked drew the audience into the personal stories of how each of these panelists came to create and grow their businesses.  

Julie’s honest, engaging, and humorous style kicked off the panel. We learned of Julie’s professional story, and how she came to head up Embark Beyond, a luxury travel company that boasts several hundred employees. Julie generously offered an incredible opportunity to a woman interested in becoming a travel advisor and agent, as Embark has its own training program.  

Sonia, always artistic and creative, shared her remarkable experiences as she built her fashion jeans business and beyond. The audience was touched by the story of how her father came to this country from Egypt with very little, but he had a pair of jeans that eventually became old and worn. These jeans became a symbol to Sonia, and eventually, along with her husband, Sonia capitalized on this idea and has grown a business that sells to major retail stores. They also opened their own storefront in downtown Manhattan.  

Batya was confident from a young age that she wanted to study to become an architect. While attending Pratt Institute, Batya acquired the training she needed and gained experience interning for several architectural firms. Batya began her business by consulting on furniture layouts, which quickly scaled to a one-stop-shop for Architectural & Interior Design services. Batya was incredibly professional and confident. She credited her husband with supporting her dream of building her own business. Today she heads up Floorplay, a growing business that employs a team of designers that work alongside Batya. 

Jennifer, in describing her professional journey, revealed that she started with earning a degree in social work. She explained that she always, however, had a passion for fashion. Her business of sourcing and acquiring luxury goods for clients began when she noticed it was somewhat difficult to obtain designer items, and she realized there was a market for consumers to pay her to find these items. Jennifer has grown an incredible business and has expanded her reach into this industry allowing her to be successful in her market.  

Each panelist was incredibly honest about balancing home life and work commitments. Many thank yous were given to husbands and mothers!  Strategies in the kitchen to ensure Shabbat dinner and beyond were shared, and stories of being present at family events while simultaneously attending work-related functions and meetings were acknowledged.

The audience was in awe!  

PROPEL has received many calls from burgeoning women entrepreneurs inspired that evening and hoping to build their own brands and businesses.  

———— 

PROPEL: Call 646-494-0822 | Email info@thepropelnetwork.org | Instagram @PropelNetwork  

Halacha – Pikuach Nefesh

Pikuach Nefesh is a fundamental principle in Judaism that highlights the value and sanctity of human life. It means the “safeguarding of life” and emphasizes the importance of preserving and protecting human life above all else, at the expense of overriding all other mitzvot with the sole exception of the three cardinal sins of murder, idolatry, and adultery (Sanhedrin 74a).

Practically, this means that when someone’s life is in danger, it is not only permissible but obligatory to violate the halacha if necessary to save their life. For example, if a person suddenly takes ill on Shabbat, we are obligated to provide any lifesaving medical treatment, call the ambulance service, or drive to the hospital, even though these actions would otherwise be forbidden. When it comes to pikuach nefesh, we don’t need to be 100 percent certain that somebody’s life is in danger or that our possible treatment will definitely help. Even when in doubt, so long as our concern is real and our life-saving intentions pure, if necessary, we may violate halacha to try to save a life (Yoma 83a). If a person has a life-threatening illness and the only cure involves some violation of hamets, he must avail himself of this option, because just like all other mitzvot, saving a life takes priority over the prohibition of hamets

Judaism teaches that every human life is precious and invaluable and that it is our duty to preserve and protect human life. The mishnah declares, “Whoever saves a single life is considered as if they saved an entire world” (Sanhedrin 4:5). As Rambam reasons, this mitzvah intends to foster “compassion, loving-kindness, and peace in the world” (Mishneh Torah, Shabbat, 2:3). 

This is what Hacham Ovadia, zt”l, (Yechaveh Daat 1:61) writes regarding a seriously ill person, who is instructed by his physician not to fast on Yom Kippur: “If there is concern of possible danger to his life by fasting, one must listen to the doctor and eat on Yom Kippur, because pikuach nefesh overrides the mitzvah of fasting on Yom Kippur. If the sick person is stringent and fasts, has he not acted in a pious manner, on the contrary, he will be punished for this.”  

 

VeNishmartem Meod LenafshotechemGuarding One’s Soul 

The Torah furthermore instructs us, “Guard yourself and exceedingly safeguard your soul” (Devarim4:9). The Talmud interprets this to mean that we are obligated to protect ourselves and others from potentially dangerous situations (Brachot 32b). Included in this mitzvah is the obligation to preserve our health with many halachot to help ensure our safety and wellbeing. Even though the Torah refers to our nefesh, our spiritual self, the Talmud extends this to our body and physical health as well. There is no contradiction between the two, and the message is clear and profound. We do not safeguard, protect, and care for our bodies merely as an end in itself, and certainly not as a vehicle for a self-glorification or idolization. Rather, we protect and embrace the physical self as it houses our soul. We maintain our physical health as a means of protecting, sustaining, and nurturing our souls.

Rabbi Moshe Rivkes concludes his commentary,Beer haGolah, on the Shulḥan Arukh, with an eternal message written over four hundred years ago but still relevant today: The reason why the Torah insisted a person protect his soul and his wellbeing is because Hashem created the world out of kindness, with the purpose of doing good to those He created. He wanted them to be able to recognize His greatness, perform His mitzvot and fulfill His Torah. However, anyone who places themself in danger acts as though he despises the Will of Hashem and in serving Him and there is no greater act of heresy and disrespect than that. 

With Hashem’s assistance, I will be writing a series of practical medical halacha columns elaborating on the mitzvot of Pikuach Nefesh, safeguarding one’s soul and one’s health. 

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert and writer on medical halacha, and his latest book is entitled “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com. 

Dear Jido – March 2023

Dear Jido, 

What age should children be when you get your first family pet? There’s a big debate in my house right now about 1) if we are ready for a pet and 2) what type of pet we should get. Our kids are asking for a kitten, my husband would rather start off with a hamster. And I prefer to wait until my kids are a bit older and more responsible. Our kids are ages 6, 8, and 11.  What do you think? 

Signed,

Not Yet Petsmart

Dear Becoming Petsmart, 

Eight and eleven is probably not too young for children to start taking on the responsibilities of a pet. Bear in mind, both a kitten and a hamster require daily care. They have to have food laid out for them, they must have clean water and, believe it or not, they must be played with EVERY day. (I’m going to assume that someone else will be responsible for cleaning either the kitty litter or the bottom of the hamster cage). 

There are also several other “life” lessons your children can learn from either one: 

  1. They can see what it’s like to be going around in circles all day and not getting anywhere. 
  2. They can begin to understand what it means to finally break out of your cage (which might be a good thing or a bad thing).
  3. They can appreciate how important it is to cuddle and be cuddled.
  4. They will see how a critter can be so friendly one minute and so aloof the next.

Bottom line, I say yes. But remember three things: 

  • Hamsters are rodents and might feel very comfortable hiding underneath your kitchen cabinets. 
  • Kittens become cats and become lifetime responsibilities. And –  
  • Never let your six-year-old bring the hamster to school for Show and Tell without the cage.

Enjoy!

Jido

Riddles – April 2023

Riddle: What Am I?

Submitted by:  David K.

Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I?

 

Last Month’s Riddle: Gone Fishing

Two fathers and two sons go on a fishing trip. They each catch a fish and bring it home. Why do they only bring three home?

 

Solution: The fishing trip consists of a grandfather, a father, and a son.

 

Solved by: Tehila Kramer, Madeline G., Yosef Chaim Tawil, Morris Kabani, Vivian Esses, Diani Nakash, Belle Gadeh, Ilanit Nakach, Yanky Levinstein, Toby Wechsler, and The Harari Family.

 

 

Junior Riddle: Word Trivia

Submitted by: Norma A.

What is unusual about the following words: revive, banana, grammar, voodoo, assess, potato, dresser, uneven?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: What Am I?

What jumps when it walks and sits when it stands?

Solution: A  kangaroo!

 

Solved by: Chana Leah Abowitz, Bella Swed, Deborah Gadeh, The Big Cheese, Mayer Chemtob, The Shmulster, and Belle Gadeh.

Chayim Aruchim Hosts Inaugural Event to Create Awareness in the Sephardic Community

Chayim Aruchim, a well-known organization that provides assistance and support to individuals and families during end-of-life situations, hosted a successful event last month to create awareness in the Sephardic community. The event was graciously hosted in the Brooklyn home of  Murad and Paula Nasiri, including rabbinical leaders, community activists, Chayim Aruchim Board members Rabbi Gedaliah Weinberger, Rivie Schwebel, and Chayim Aruchim’s Care Navigator Mrs. Leah Horowitz.  

Attendees were treated to an emotional audio-visual presentation where members of the Sephardic community shared their personal experiences of how Chayim Aruchim stepped in and provided crucial support during their own loved ones’ hospitalization and end-of-life situations.  

The moving testimonies by Sammy and Seymour Esses and Ike Sutton highlighted the importance of having a dedicated organization like Chayim Aruchim to assist and guide families during such trying times. 

The event featured a presentation by Rabbi Shmuel Lefkowitz, who spoke about the many different services that Chayim Aruchim offers to help individuals and families navigate the difficult challenges that arise during end-of-life situations.  

“The overall mission of Chayim Aruchim, a project of Agudath Israel of America, is to help members of the Jewish community make decisions when confronted with critical illness,” said Rabbi Lefkowitz. “With a team of medically-trained Rabbis with many years of experience, doctors, legal experts, and high-level government policy advocates, Chayim Aruchim upholds the right of patients and their family to decide about their care.” 

Rabbi Raymond Beyda, Rabbi Raymond Haber, and Dr. Albert Matalon – who are all respected as leaders within the Sephardic community – are stationed at the helm of what is known as Mahon Hayim Aruhim, and will help guide Chayim Aruchim as it steadily grows. 

“Hayim Aruhim serves as a lifeline for the Sephardic community, by providing valuable guidance and 24-hour support to families navigating end-of-life issues,” said Rabbi Raymond Beyda. “We combine medical knowledge with Halachah to give direction in emotionally stressful situations.” 

Dr. Albert Matalon echoed those sentiments saying, “As a physician and as a Sephardic community member, I can tell you firsthand how much of a valuable resource Hayim Aruhim proves to be for anyone seeking assistance and guidance during difficult end-of-life situations.” 

The creation of Mahon Hayim Aruhim reflects Chayim Aruchim’s commitment to serving the needs of all communities, and ensuring that everyone has access to the support and resources they need during difficult times. By tailoring their services to the unique needs of the Sephardic community, the organization hopes to further spread awareness about what they do and ensure that everyone who needs their help can benefit from it. 

“It was truly inspiring to see so many members of the Sephardic community come together to support this important initiative,” said Rabbi Menachem Horowitz of Chayim Aruchim. “We are thrilled to be able to offer services to this community, and we look forward to continuing to provide vital support and guidance to families during end-of-life situations.” 

Chayim Aruchim’s 24-hour phone hotline is staffed by a team of trained experts who help families facing tough medical or end-of-life decisions choose the best path forward, both medically and halachically. It is for this reason that local families often turn to Chayim Aruchim when the life of a critically ill relative or elderly loved one is on the line.  

“In the Jewish community, there is a strong emphasis on the importance of preserving life,” explained Rabbi Horowitz. “There are many religious and ethical considerations to take into account, including issues related to palliative care, hospice, and end-of-life decision-making. We provide support to ensure the needs of both the individual and the family are being met with sensitivity and compassion.” 

As such, Mahon Hayim Aruhim will be specifically focused on servicing the needs of the Sephardic community. This is a significant development, as it will further spread awareness about what the organization does and ensure that the Sephardic community benefits from its services.   

Perhaps Rabbi Raymond Haber summed it up best when describing the inherent value of Mahon Hayim Aruhim from his perspective.  

“Hayim Aruhim has started to make a real impact in the care of critically and terminally ill patients in our community,” he said. “There’s nothing more sacred to us than life. People now have an address to help navigate these challenging moments.” 

For more information about the launch of Mahon Hayim Aruhim, please call 347-578-8200. For general information about the Chayim Aruchim organization, please call 718-ARUCHIM or visit www.chayimaruchim.com

Downsizing

It’s harder to leave a home if you have lived there for many years, raised your kids there, and experienced many life milestones there.  We develop a close attachment to the place we live in. 

We have many happy memories in our home.  For years our home could have been busy and bustling, but now, maybe not so much. 

Many people in this situation, where the kids have grown up and moved out, choose to downsize to move closer to their kids or to move to a smaller home that is just easier to maintain. 

There are two schools of thought when it comes to downsizing.  Some take a practical view, and see downsizing as a way to not have so many things to maintain. Others focus on the negative.  These people have a harder time, as they look at downsizing as the closing of an era. 

I like to look at downsizing as the start of a new era. 

Many people love the idea of getting rid of all their kids’ items piled high, their eighth grade yearbook, their first grade stash of baby teeth, their sixth grade hobbies and collections.  I feel that many homeowners don’t mind the organizing and cleaning part, but what gets to them is the thought of leaving all the memories behind and starting something new.  That’s the daunting task that I see people facing many times. 

There are innumerable things that you can collect over a lifetime and I’ve seen it all.  Many times, the thought of downsizing leaves people feeling very reflective – reflective of the lives they lived in their homes or reflective of the changes that are coming or the changes that already happened.  So when I meet sellers, if it’s a couple, I tell them they should both be grateful they were able to clean out their house and go through years’ worth of items (junk?) together. It truly is a blessing to be able to organize and clear your house together, to have the mental and physical capacity, and strength to do it, and to do it together as a couple. It doesn’t always happen that way, so when it does, count your blessings. 

We discussed this concept with a few of our clients and we wanted to share some of their comments with you.  The feelings range from feeling extremely nervous and scared to many people telling me that having less has opened the door to so much more for them.  When they had a full home, there was always a laundry list of things to do, and more stuff created more loose ends around the house. But now, they can focus on the creative projects, things that are more important to them that they didn’t have time to do before. 

 

What It Feels Like To Downsize 

Here are some thoughts from our clients regarding downsizing:

What was a fear/worry when you were thinking of downsizing?

JB:As people get older, keeping track of so many spaces and possessions of a large home takes up so much of their headspace. In a smaller home with fewer items, things they need will be right within reach.

PS:  A worry that I had was packing 35 years of things and memories.  I did not know what to do with all my stuff. I was worried it would take me months and months to pack. 

 

What was the actual experience like?

JB: Especially if your home is old, consider moving to a newer construction. Less repairs. Things actually work!

PS:  The experience ended up being very smooth, thank Gd.  I was able to give away or sell a lot of stuff.  I ended up not having as much to pack as I thought.

Reflecting back, can you share a tip with our readers who are thinking of downsizing and moving to a smaller space? 

JB:Realize that you will have to have less stuff. It’s just not possible to fit all of your things (and often “inherited” things) into a smaller space.  Get help! From design to packers to realtors to professional organizers, these people have done it before with so many others, they can really take the stress out of the move. 

PS:There are a lot of gemachs and organizations that would love to take things that you don’t want.  Ask for help with packing!  Don’t sweat it, it will all work out!