By Simha Health

In the modern world, a teenager’s smartphone is a portable printing press for their permanent record. For today’s teens, the digital world feels temporary, like a conversation in a hallway. However, every click, comment, and private message creates a digital anchor. This is a record that is easy to set but can keep a person stuck in the past for years.

Parents do not need to be tech experts to protect their children. By focusing on three critical areas, you can give your teen the mindset they need to navigate the digital age with integrity.

Digital Permanence and the Billboard Test

Teens often view their online posts as temporary thoughts that can be crumpled up and thrown away. They believe that hitting delete or using disappearing message features solves the problem. We must help them understand that the internet is actually an anchor. Even if a post is deleted, it lives on in server backups, data logs, and screenshots.

In ten years, when your teen is applying for their dream job, recruiters will use software to scan every old account and edgy joke ever linked to your child’s name. To help them process this, teach your teen a mental filter called the Billboard Test. Before they hit send, ask them to imagine that message or photo printed on a 20 foot billboard in the center of town. If they wouldn’t be proud to have their grandparents, their coach, and their future boss see it there, it has no business being on their phone. This turns a distant consequence into a concrete and immediate visual.

The Myth of the Mask and the Front Door Rule

Many teens fall into the trap of Keyboard Courage. They believe that using a fake username or hiding their caller ID makes them invisible. This sense of anonymity often leads to trolling or sending messages they would never say to someone’s face. The reality is that no one is truly anonymous online. Every digital action leaves breadcrumbs. Every call and message sends data packets that include location and device information.

What a teen sees as a thirty second joke can be traced by authorities in seconds. If a prank makes someone feel unsafe, it can quickly escalate into a legal report for harassment tied directly to your family’s phone bill. A powerful way to ground this is the Front Door Rule. Instruct them to never type anything to someone that they would not be willing to walk up to their front door and say to their face while their parents are watching. No Caller ID is just a thin mask. The network always knows who is speaking.

The Psychology of the New Group Chat

Social life for today’s teens revolves almost entirely around group chats. While these are great for connection, they are frequently used for passive bullying through exclusion. A common scenario involves a group of friends starting a new chat specifically to leave one person out. This is often done so they can talk about that person or plan events without them. Research shows that being excluded in this way triggers the same part of the human brain as physical pain.

Teens often go along with this because they are afraid of being the next person left out. You can empower your teen to change this dynamic by mastering the Admin Leadership Move. Encourage them to be the person with the confidence to say, “Hey, why isn’t this person in here? Let’s add them.” Being an includer is a high status leadership move. It changes the vibe of the group from a gossip circle back into a friendship and protects your teen from being part of a record that could look like bullying later on.

Cultivating a Digital Legacy By focusing on these areas, you are coaching your teen to think about their character in a world where every action is recorded. Helping them realize that their future at twenty five is too important to risk on a single click is the best protection you can provide.

Rabbinical Message

The Chafetz Chaim tells us that modern technology is here to teach us lessons in emunah. This concept of realizing nothing gets lost in cyberspace can be applied to our deeds in general. Nothing we say or do is lost, as the Mishnah says: “Kol Ma’asecha Basefer Nichtavin” (All your deeds are written in a book). Just as a digital footprint records every keystroke, our spiritual footprint records every action, reminding us that our words and choices have lasting weight.

By Rabbi Hayim Asher Arking and Rabbi Ezra Ghodsi

Many have the custom to eat dairy on Shavuot. If one wants to make dairy bread, one should be cognizant of the halachot involved. The Gemara (Pesahim 30b) teaches that one is not allowed to make bread that was kneaded with milk. This prohibition was instituted by the Rabbis out of concern that one will forget or will not realize the bread is dairy and will eat it together with meat. Baking dairy bread is only permitted in certain instances.

What are the conditions to allow one to bake dairy bread?

One may bake dairy bread if one of the following conditions is met:

1) Only a small amount is baked.

2) The bread is baked in a shape that is recognized as specifically dairy or meat. If there is an identifying – not just a different – shape, that will remind people that it is meat or dairy one may bake even a large amount.

What is considered “a small amount”?

According to some opinions, it’s the amount that will be eaten in the coming meal. Some are more lenient and allow an amount that will be eaten within the next day. When baking such a small amount for the family there is no concern that it will be accidentally eaten with the other type.

What shape should I bake the bread in?

A shape only helps if those eating the bread would recognize the bread is dairy because of the shape. If the same shape is used for both dairy and pareve bread it will not help, as one may inadvertently assume that the bread  is pareve. Another option would be to sprinkle cheese on top of the dough, as this way it would be easily recognizable as dairy and it wouldn’t be eaten with meat accidentally.

What if I already baked a large amount without a distinctive shape?

If one forgot, or even if one was unaware of the halacha, and baked a large amount of dairy bread, all of the bread is forbidden to eat, even by itself, and must be discarded. Once the dairy bread is baked, it does not help to give it out to family and friends, even if each person is receiving a small amount and it will be eaten right away.

What about crackers and pastries?

Although one of the above conditions is necessary for both bread and crackers alike, those conditions are not required for sweet pastries or cakes. One is allowed to bake a large number of sweet dairy pastries or cakes even without an identifying shape. Since sweet pastries are not eaten together with meat we are not concerned that a mistake will happen. Although one who ate meat has to wait six hours before eating anything dairy, we do not go so far as to prohibit making something that might be eaten during that time, and only prohibit what might be eaten together with meat.

What about items that are filled, like sambousak?

In regards to sambousak or bourekas, there are varying customs. Some are careful to make them in an identifying shape. For example, cheese bourekas are triangles, while the meat ones are made into a square. The meat ones also have some of the meat showing to differentiate between meat and pareve bourekas. For sambousak, the meat and cheese ones are made in two different shapes to identify which one is which. Others are of the opinion that the prohibition only applies to bread that was kneaded with milk, as one who is eating it has no way to know that it is not regular bread. However, something filled does not need an identifying shape, as it is clearly noticeable that there is filling and one will find out what is inside before eating. Experience has shown that it is prudent to make bourekas or sambousak noticeably different, as people have mistakenly used the dairy ones for a meat meal or baked dairy and meat ones simultaneously.

What if a small amount of pareve bread came in contact with dairy?

If only a small amount of pareve bread came in contact with dairy, it is permissible to eat, however, one must be careful not to eat it with meat. In fact, the halacha goes further and requires that any bread eaten with a dairy meal may not be eaten at a meat meal, or vice versa, out of concern that the bread may have come in contact with meat or dairy. This halacha applies to any food that was on the table and potentially came in contact with dairy or meat. They should not be served at the opposite meal.

What about the bread that was in the middle of the table and didn’t get touched at all?

Generally, what was used for serving in the middle of the table may be used in both a meat and dairy meal, as it wouldn’t come in contact with the other food on the table. One should be mindful if there are children at the table, as it may be problematic to re-serve the food since it is more likely that the food would have come in contact  with their hands, which may have had food residue on them.

Custom to Eat Dairy It is interesting to note that while there are many reasons given for the custom to eat dairy on Shavuot. The Rema (Shulhan Aruch 594:3) explains the custom based on the previous halacha. It appears the custom in his time was to start the meal with dairy and then in the middle clear off all the dairy and switch to a meat meal. The Rema explains that based on the above halacha, they would need to bring new bread to the table. The requirement to have two separate breads would then serve as a remembrance of the Sh’tei Ha’lehem – the two-bread offering brought in the Bet Hamikdash on Shavuot.          

Gilad Shmueli

The days leading up to the holiday of Shavuot are days of special preparation, spiritual elevation, and purification. The spiritual energy that descended into the world at the time of the giving of the Torah returns every year on the same date. It is therefore vital to prepare ourselves, so that we become fitting vessels for receiving the holy Torah.

In the book Chemdat Yamim (Shavuot, Chapter 1), it is written about these special pre-Shavuot days: “During these days, one should not allow their mind to drift from the scene at Mount Sinai. One should imagine how the people of Israel stood in purity and separation as they faced the mountain – standing before Gd in awe, fear, and trembling – because Hashem descended upon it with tens of thousands of angels.”

“Remembering this can awaken reverence in the heart, prompting one to sanctify themselves even in that which is permitted, to act as though they themselves are standing at that very event. One should not veer left or right into worldly distractions, and should make Torah study a fixed priority and other matters temporary from Rosh Chodesh Sivan until the sixth of the month, even if they don’t usually live this way. Then they will merit Divine assistance to cast off the impurities of the “serpent” and receive added holiness, just as our holy ancestors did at this time. Fortunate is the person who acts in holiness and purity during these six days – such a person will receive an added spiritual light, deepening their awe of the Almighty.”

Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe once hung a note in his yeshiva, sharing a spiritual segulah (practice for merit) that he had received from his teacher, Rabbi Shmuel Charkover. It said that the three days before Shavuot – the Three Days of Separation (Shloshet Yemei Hagbalah) – are days of tremendous spiritual potential.

Rabbi Wolbe wrote: “I received from my teacher and mentor, Rabbi Shmuel Charkover that the three days before Shavuot are auspicious days. One who learns Torah during them with great diligence, without wasting even a moment, will merit success in Torah learning for the entire year. He told me this is written in the holy books.”

A  Day of Spiritual Judgement

On Shavuot – the day the Torah was given – we receive the spiritual light of that momentous event at Mount Sinai. Each person has the opportunity to receive their personal portion of Torah.

The Sfat Emet writes: “On Shavuot, each person is judged according to the connection they maintained with Torah throughout the year…On this day, the Jewish people receive a renewed portion of Torah for the coming year, and that renewal depends entirely on each individual’s preparation.”

Shavuot is a sort of “day of judgment” for our spiritual lives. Each person receives their own Divine light and unique portion in the Torah based on how they’ve prepared. The custom to stay up all night learning Torah on Shavuot serves as a declaration of our desire to receive our share and to merit a deeper bond with the Torah.

A Day for Prayer and Request

Shavuot is also the Yahrtzeit (day of birth and passing) of David Hamelech, which is why it is customary to read and study Tehillim on this day. Since this is a day of spiritual judgment, it’s also an opportune time to pray for spiritual matters, both for yourself and for others.

Take advantage of this day to pray for: personal spiritual growth, complete repentance, closeness to Hashem, becoming a better and more refined Jew, doing Gd’s will with joy, and success in Torah,  mitzvot, and good deeds. Above all, pray for the Final Redemption, and that we all merit the rebuilding of our glorious Temple in Jerusalem, speedily in our days. Amen.

QUESTION: 

Dear Rabbi Ali,

I have been putting in a lot of work in my marriage and things are getting better. I spent years in therapy and have done so much work on myself. The problem is that my husband refuses to address his past traumas, which I believe are hurting him and, in turn, our relationship. Is there anything I can do about this situation?

R’ Ali’s Response: 

It’s great that you have been putting in a lot of work and effort into bettering your marriage. You should continue to have the strength to work on your marriage. I do not mean to belittle any of the work that you have done, but I rarely come across a couple where both spouses aren’t working on their relationship.

The reason why I mention this is that people get burnt out from working so hard and not seeing their spouse work hard as well. Most of the time this is not true. In your case, it is most likely that your husband is working on the relationship. The reason why you may feel he isn’t may be for one or two reasons. He is working on what he feels is necessary to better the relationship, and second, he isn’t working on what you feel is necessary to better the relationship.  

Now, although he may not be working on what you feel needs work, you should know that he is not neglecting the relationship. Most likely, if I spoke to your husband, he would say that he’s trying really hard to make things work and it’s just not happening. When I tell this to people they are shocked and sort of relieved. This information won’t make the situation better. However, it does give some peace of mind knowing that he cares and wants things to get better. 

Unfortunately, I have encountered (very few) people who say, “My situation is a lost cause,” or “I’m too old for that stuff (working to improve my relationship).”  This is sad and a big mistake. I truly believe there is a way to improve almost every relationship.

Getting back to your question. This is something very common and it is important for people to understand this point. You mention that your husband has traumas and refuses to seek help. Was this assessed by a professional or was it self-diagnosed? This is an important question.

Most people tell me that “they know” he/ she needs therapy. Maybe you’re right. But I believe it is wrong to self-diagnose someone and then coerce them into going for therapy. Besides the fact that therapy rarely, if ever, helps someone who isn’t willing to go, I believe it is the professional’s job to decide who has trauma and who doesn’t. 

I know this sounds a bit harsh, but it is the source of much tension in marriage. One person is trying to get their spouse to seek professional help based on their own evaluation. 

Now, there are cases where a person is dysfunctional and clearly suffers from a real diagnosis such as OCD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc. These are serious disorders and need the guidance of a professional and should be dealt with.

However, your situation sounds fairly common and your husband’s situation is a far cry from a full-blown mental health disorder.  In closing, I would say to continue to work on your relationship, as it seems to be working. Don’t press your husband to seek help (unless otherwise advised by a professional). Acknowledge every little bit of improvement on his end and give positive reinforcement. And, of course, pray to Hashem for assistance from Above. 

Frieda Schweky

Spring has sprung and I have a pep in my step. Do I credit that to the sun finally shining, or my ability to leave the house without a ski mask? Possibly. But honestly, I think the real reason is that I spent all winter going to the gym two to four times a week and lifting heavy weights – and it shows. Not just physically, but mentally, too. For the first time since I was a child, I don’t feel the need to take stimulants to manage my ADHD, and I really think I have working out to thank for that.

Here’s the thing about exercise that doesn’t get talked about enough: it’s not just about how you look. Consistently moving your body has real, measurable benefits that kick in almost immediately. In the short term, even a single workout can boost your mood, sharpen your focus, and reduce stress thanks to a flood of endorphins. Long term, regular physical activity lowers your risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and certain cancers, strengthens your bones and joints, improves sleep quality, and has been shown to significantly reduce anxiety and depression.

When I’m on my game, I find it hard to imagine people who think physical exertion just isn’t for them. And I get it, I really do, because I used to be one of those people.

I was a full-on couch potato when I was younger. Then, one day my friend Jeanette invited me to a kickboxing class. Thinking nothing of it, I tagged along.  And I was shocked to discover it was actually fun. I signed up for a membership and started working out for the first time in my life. Am I still into kickboxing? No. But that class lit a bulb in my head that’s never gone out. Working out can be enjoyable if you just find what’s right for you.

Over the years I went through plenty of phases – yoga, Orangetheory [a fitness program that combines full-body strength training with heart-pumping cardio], I even tried spin because my dad has been obsessed with spinning my whole life and still is (it was not for me, sorry Dad). These days my thing is CrossFit. I love lifting heavy weights. It’s satisfying in a way that’s hard to explain, and it’s pretty cool that I’m essentially learning an Olympic sport in the process. Plus, I can carry all my groceries in one trip, which might be the greatest practical benefit of all.

Through all those phases I figured out two things. One: you have to love what you do, or you will quit. Two: you need to give something at least a month of consistent effort before you decide whether it’s for you. Your body needs time to adjust. Once the initial soreness fades and you stop dreading it, that’s when you can actually tell if something clicks for you.

I wanted to inspire other members of our community to get moving, so I asked my Instagram followers what they enjoy doing for exercise. Here’s what they had to say.

Natalie Habaz

Natalie has always been active, but her relationship with movement has evolved beautifully over the decades. She started dance training at 16, doing intensives at Broadway Dance Center through her twenties, then shifted to cardio and light weights, then yoga and weights as she got older. Today she teaches dance, choreography, and restorative somatic work, focused on nervous system regulation. And she still takes choreography classes herself.

“The benefits I focus on are more mental than physical – pushing through limits, resilience techniques and regulation. I think the way to look at consistency is: baby steps into often steps into consistency, which then just becomes routine. Also, work out for the feeling it gives you – empowerment, not looks.”

Violet Bernknopf

Violet found her groove with reformer Pilates – five days a week for the past few years, at 5:30am.

“I sneak out and I’m back before my kids even miss me! It keeps me sane. It’s my version of self-care.”

Violet has a bad back with herniated discs, so the low-impact nature of Pilates was a major draw, but the results have been anything but low-impact: toning, strength, and flexibility all over. Her tip? Go early. First she tried nights, but between the kids and general exhaustion, it wasn’t sticking. Now it’s just her routine – and she genuinely misses it when she can’t go.

Melissa Mora

Melissa loves yoga, and she’s the first to admit she came into it as a skeptic.

“In the beginning I kind of mocked it and didn’t think it would help me or even be considered exercise. And then I saw it transform my life.”

Melissa says yoga tones her more than free weights ever did, while simultaneously de-stressing and energizing her.

“It [yoga] forces optimal breathing, resilience, flexibility, and positivity. But most importantly it fosters grace within yourself. I can’t think of any other exercise, activity, or sport that does ALL of that.”

Jacklyn Gabbay

Jacklyn doesn’t follow a set routine – she follows her gut.

“I go based off my mood,” she says. When she wants something grounding and a little challenging, she goes for a hike, which is good for her mind, body, and soul. And it gives her some time to talk to Hashem. When she wants high energy, she does dance cardio. When she wants to slow down and get out of her head, she turns to yoga. And sometimes, like during the two week Pesach break, she mixes it up entirely – dance one day, aerial yoga the next (yes, aerial yoga, where you can do flips in the air, which sounds like an absolute blast).

But Jacklyn’s fitness journey didn’t start from a place of fun. It started from a place of pain. Around 2020, her close friend was diagnosed with cancer, and Jacklyn was devastated. She was so distraught she couldn’t even eat. She needed somewhere to put all of that emotion, so she threw herself into physical activity, starting with weight training.

“Instead of being depressed on the couch, I found this beneficial outlet. I felt more connected to my body.” Jacklyn began losing weight without even realizing it, because she wasn’t focused on her appearance, she was focused on taking charge of her life. And that shift turned out to be more important than she knew, because it was around this time that she discovered she was dealing with a health issue herself.

So, what’s the takeaway?

Movement looks different for everyone. It can be hikes and heavy lifts, reformer Pilates early in the morning, or aerial yoga on a whim. It’s kickboxing classes you stumble into and yoga practices you initially roll your eyes at. It’s dancing since you were two years old and weight training through one of the hardest seasons of your life. There is no single right answer – just the one that works for you.

What all of these women have in common isn’t a specific workout or a perfect schedule. It’s that they found something that made them feel good, and they kept showing up. Some days that means discipline, and some days that’s just listening to your body and doing what it needs. Both are valid.

If you’ve been on the fence about getting moving, let this be your nudge. You don’t have to love it on day one. Give it a month. Try the weird class your friend invites you to. Go for the hike. Sign up for the thing that intimidates you a little. The shift for your mind, your body, and your whole life might surprise you.

And if all else fails – at the very least, you’ll be able to carry all your groceries in one trip. Trust me, it’s worth it!

Signing off until next time,

Frieda Schweky!

Frieda is an event and portrait photographer. Check Frieda out on Instagram @friedaschwekyphoto. For photography inquiries or article topic suggestions email her at [email protected].

 Jack Gindi

Many of us think appreciation is something we give because someone did something for us. They helped. They supported. They solved a problem.

So we say thank you.

But over time, I’ve learned that real appreciation is not about what someone does. It’s about who they are. It’s about recognizing the quiet, consistent presence of someone who showed up – especially when it mattered most.

Fifty Years of Presence

I met my wife, Meredith, when I was a teenager, and we got married young. She has been by my side for over 50 years. When I think about appreciation, I don’t think about a list of things she’s done. I think about something much simpler.

She stayed.

Through the highs and the lows… through seasons of growth and seasons of challenge… she stood beside me. The truth is, we don’t always stop to acknowledge that kind of presence. We get used to it. We assume it. We move past it.

But presence is not a small thing. It may be the greatest gift a person can give.

The People Who See Us

I’ve experienced this in other relationships as well. My oldest brother has been one of those people in my life. Not because of one big moment, but because of how he consistently showed up.

When I struggled, he stepped in. When I needed direction, he guided me. When I doubted myself, he believed in me.

Looking back, what I appreciate most isn’t what he did. It’s that he saw me. He stood beside me.
He was there. And that kind of presence shapes a life.

The Moments That Stay

A friend shared a story with me that sits with me today.

When she was in third grade, she struggled in class while the other children seemed to understand everything easily. One day, a little girl leaned over and quietly helped her.

She was not looking for anything in return – not attention, tot a reward, with no expectation. She  just performed a simple act of kindness.

Years later, they crossed paths again. My friend stopped her and said, “I want you to know, I’ve never forgotten that moment. You saw me when I needed it most.”

One small moment. One person taking the time to see another. And it stayed with her for a lifetime.

What We Often Miss

That’s the part we overlook. We think appreciation has to be tied to something big or measurable. But often, it’s the smallest things that matter most.

People show up every day. They carry more than we see. They give in ways that are quiet, consistent, and easy to overlook.

And because it’s consistent, we begin to expect it. Because we expect it, we stop acknowledging it.

What Our Children Learn

Our children are always watching, not just what we say, but what we notice.

When we take the time to appreciate someone out loud… when we acknowledge who a person is, not just what they’ve done… we teach something deeper than manners.

We teach awareness. We teach respect. We teach them how to truly see people. And when that’s missing, something important is lost.

A Simple Practice

Try this for the next 30 days.

Each day, reach out to one person in your life. A parent. A friend. A sibling. A teacher. Anyone. Tell them something you appreciate about who they are, not just what they’ve done. Don’t expect anything back.

Just notice what happens.

Notice how it feels to say it. Notice how it changes the way you see people. Notice how it shifts your day.

The Gift That Remains

In the end, appreciation isn’t about the moment. It’s about what remains. The gift of being seen may be the greatest gift we can give another person.

Don’t wait for the perfect time. Don’t wait for the right words.

Just say it. Onwards together – with love and gratitude.

Jenna Ashkenazie

In a world where fashion often moves fast, Anna Augusta has built something rare – an experience that feels truly personal. For over a decade in New York, she has been creating gowns with care, precision, and a deep understanding of each woman – where every dress becomes a true reflection of the client.

Born in Tashkent, Uzbekistan, Anna is inspired by the rich history of the ancient Silk Road – a place where cultures, styles, and traditions came together. This influence can be felt in her designs, which combines timeless beauty with a modern, elegant touch. Her journey to New York began in an international environment, arriving in the United States as the spouse of a representative at her country’s mission to the United Nations. Being surrounded by different cultures and perspectives helped shape her unique approach to design – one that feels both global and deeply personal. 

One-on-One Personal and Expert Guidance

What makes Anna Augusta truly special is the experience she offers her clients. In today’s world, it is very rare to work directly with a couture-level designer. At Anna Augusta, every bride is personally guided through the entire process, with Anna acting not only as a designer, but also as a trusted fashion consultant. Each gown begins with a thoughtful conversation – not just about measurements, but about personality, style, lifestyle, and the overall vision for the wedding day.

From there, the bride becomes part of the creative journey, actively participating in shaping her gown. Together, they refine every detail, ensuring the final design feels authentic, personal, and perfectly aligned with the woman who will wear it. This personal attention makes all the difference. Every gown becomes more than just a dress – it becomes a statement of the woman wearing it. The result is something truly unique, created with care, intention, and artistry. For Anna’s clients, this is not just a service – it is a seamless, stress-free experience and a truly memorable journey. 

This approach is what has made Anna Augusta so loved and trusted among her clients. Her gowns stand out not because they follow trends, but because they reflect real women and real stories.

Future Expansion

With the opening of BUY GOWN, Anna Augusta made her designs more accessible for women who need a beautiful dress right away. Clients can choose from a curated collection of wedding and evening gowns available for purchase or rent – while still enjoying high quality and thoughtful design. As demand continues to grow, Anna is preparing to expand into New Jersey, making it easier for clients across New Jersey and Pennsylvania to experience her work. At the same time, there is an influx of retail stores that are showing interest in carrying Anna Augusta designs, recognizing the uniqueness and craftsmanship behind each piece.

 Looking ahead, Anna Augusta plans to grow into a leading designer and manufacturer of modest and plus-size gowns, bringing elegance and attention to detail to a wider range of women. She is also expanding her evening wear collections, offering both one-of-a-kind couture pieces and ready-to-wear designs – so her clients can always feel stylish and confident.  In a time when everything moves at a rapid pace, Anna Augusta offers something truly special: personal attention, true craftsmanship, a seamless, stress-free experience, and gowns that are not just worn – but deeply felt.

On March 17, Allenhurst held its monthly town hall meeting. What unfolded was not routine civic discussion, but something more revealing: a series of firsthand accounts from Jewish residents describing experiences of exclusion, hostility, and discrimination that, until now, had largely gone unspoken.

For years, many in the community have described carrying quieter versions of these moments – interactions that felt off, or a sense of being unwelcome without a clear cause. At the town hall, those experiences were articulated.

One of the clearest accounts came from a woman who has lived in Allenhurst for ten years. When she first moved to town, neighbors did not realize she was Jewish and, she said, she encountered no issues. Once her Jewish identity became known, her experience changed. She described being asked where her horns were, facing assumptions that large numbers of people would live in her home, and being refused business outright by residents who told her they “don’t do business with Jews.” She also noted she had not experienced anti-Semitism before moving to Allenhurst.

Political Context and Public Scrutiny

These accounts did not emerge in a vacuum.

In May 2024, Frieda Adjmi, a Syrian Jewish resident and longtime Planning Board member, became Allenhurst’s first female mayor. Her election was followed almost immediately by an investigation into alleged voter irregularities, centered on a sharp increase in registrations. Critics suggested members of the Syrian Jewish community had improperly registered at seasonal homes.

The Monmouth County Prosecutor’s Office ultimately closed the investigation without charges or findings of wrongdoing. However, the scrutiny and the tone of its coverage left a lasting impression on many residents, who saw it as part of a broader pattern where Jewish civic participation was treated with suspicion.

The Graffiti Incident

Weeks later, in June 2024, a local grocery store transitioning to a kosher establishment was vandalized. Jewish stars were painted across the property, alongside the words “go home.”

The response raised further concern. Rather than preserving the scene for investigation, the public works department removed the graffiti before evidence could be fully examined. Although Mayor Adjmi directed that the incident be referred to the bias crime unit, she said she never received confirmation that such a referral occurred. The incident was not covered in the press.

By the time of the March town hall meeting, these and other episodes had escalated into Jewish residents feeling an increasing sense of unease.

As the meeting progressed, tensions in the room rose. Speakers who shared experiences of anti-Semitism were at times interrupted or dismissed. When Mayor Adjmi rose to close the evening, she addressed not only the incidents themselves but the reaction to them. She said that dismissing or mocking someone’s account of discrimination is itself a form of harm.

She then shared her own history.

Since the 1990s, Mayor Adjimi has experienced anti-Semitism in Allenhurst. As a young woman, she found her beach club locker repeatedly filled with garbage, with the phrase “Syrian Free in ’93” written inside. She recalled being advised not to confront the behavior, but to accept that some residents were resistant to change.

Long-Term Engagement

Instead, she became more involved in the community – raising funds for local services, leading projects, and working to build shared spaces. In the early 2000s, she helped create a public playground intended to bring children of different backgrounds together. More recently, she led the development of pickleball courts, despite opposition from residents concerned about the courts attracting outsiders.

On the first day of Passover, those courts were vandalized.

No single incident defines a town. Each can be explained, disputed, or minimized on its own. But taken together – the testimonies, the graffiti, the vandalism, the patterns of opposition described by residents – a broader picture begins to emerge.

The Broader Question

The central issue is not only whether anti-Semitic acts have occurred. It is whether they are being taken seriously when they do.

When incidents are not fully investigated, when public accounts are dismissed, and when patterns are treated as isolated disputes, the result is not neutrality, it causes erosion of trust. For those experiencing it, the message is not ambiguous.

Mayor Adjmi’s Closing Message

Mayor Adjmi ended the evening not with accusation, but with intent.

“I ran because I wanted to heal the pain, heal the hate,” she said. Her closing message was simple: a hope for mutual recognition and respect in a community that is still struggling to define both.

That may be the real test facing towns like Allenhurst. Not whether conflict exists, it always will, but whether a community is willing to confront uncomfortable patterns honestly, or allow them to remain just below the surface, where they are easier to dismiss, and are harder to resolve.