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The Money Ladder

The story is told of a fabulously wealthy businessman who had no children, and began thinking about declaring an heir to his enormous estate.  He needed to decide to whom he would leave his huge fortune and successful enterprise. 

 

After many weeks and months of thinking, he finally devised a plan. 

 

He wrote letters to 30 relatives and close friends, inviting them to his mansion for an important meeting.  When they arrived, he explained that one of them would be selected to inherit his wealth, and he wanted to choose the most qualified person, the one whom he could rely on to care for his life’s work so that it will continue growing.   

 

He proceeded to hand each of the 30 friends and family members a bag of seeds. 

 

“I am asking each of you to plant the seeds, produce and care for the plant, and return in six months,” he instructed.  “The one who brings the most impressive final product will be entrusted with my fortune and my business.  I will then know that I have chosen the person most likely to take the ‘seeds’ I am bequeathing him when I leave this world, and make them grow.” 

 

The 30 friends and relatives took their bags and excitedly returned home.  They all worked very hard tending to their plants, hoping to be awarded the fortune.   

 

One of them, however, could not produce anything.  The seeds simply did not grow.  He read books, consulted with experts – but nothing helped.  He had a pot of earth with nothing growing from it. 

 

This man couldn’t understand what was happening.  He knew from his conversations with the others that they were producing large, impressive plants.  Why couldn’t he?  He had no answer. 

 

When the six-month period ended, this man, shamefaced, brought his pot to the businessman’s mansion, along with the 29 others – all proudly carrying pots with beautiful, spectacularly large plants growing from them. 

 

The wealthy man went around the room, carefully examining every pot, giving “oohs” and “ahs” to all the impressive plants, expressing his great admiration for the products presented to him.  When he got to the man who could not grow anything, he asked why there was no plant. 

 

“What’s going on?  Didn’t you plant the seeds I gave you?” 

 

“Of course I did,” the man replied.  “But nothing grew.  I have no idea why.” 

 

“I know why,” the wealthy man said. 

 

Turning his attention to the entire group, he announced, to their sheer astonishment, that he was leaving his entire estate to this fellow, he could not produce a plant. 

 

“All the seeds I gave you,” he explained, “had first been boiled in water.  Seeds that were boiled in water cannot produce anything.  None of you were able to grow a plant with the seeds I gave you.  So most of you – 29 to be exact – planted other seeds in place of the seeds I gave you.  You were dishonest.  You failed to do what I had asked.  This fellow, however, refused to lie.  This is who I want taking over my business – somebody who is honest, who tells the truth, who doesn’t lie or deceive.” 

 

Yaakov Avinu – The Exemplary Employee 

 

This month we read about Yaakov’s travails after he was forced to flee from his brother, Esav, who sought to kill him.  Yaakov was forced to live with his corrupt, immoral uncle, Lavan, for whom he worked as a shepherd.  In exchange for his work, he married Lavan’s two daughters, Rachel and Leah.  Yaakov then continued working for him in exchange for certain portions of the herds. 

 

Gd blessed Yaakov with extraordinary success, and he became very wealthy.  His large fortune invited the resentment of Lavan and his sons.  Yaakov eventually took his large family and his herds, and fled.  Lavan chased after Yaakov, and when he caught up to him, he searched through his belongings, as Rachel had taken her father’s idols and hid them.  This resulted in a tense exchange of words between Yaakov and Lavan. 

 

In speaking to Lavan, Yaakov described his scrupulous loyalty to Lavan throughout his 20 years of service.  He spoke of how he tended to the flocks under the hot sun and during the frigid nights.  He hardly slept.  He protected the sheep from theft and from animals of prey.  Not once did he ever take a sheep for himself.  And, he added, Lavan repeatedly changed the terms of their arrangement, trying to cheat Yaakov out of what he deserved. 

 

The prophet Micha (7:20) exclaimed, “Titen emet leYaakov – Grant truth to Yaakov.”  Our tradition points to this verse as alluding to the connection between Yaakov and the particular trait of emet – truth and honesty.  Yaakov, of course, had many outstanding qualities.  But he is associated primarily with integrity.  And this trait was manifest most clearly in the way he worked for his wily uncle.  Yaakov was the model employee.  Scrupulously honest.  Hard working.  Devoted. Loyal.  Responsible.  “Titen emet leYaakov.”  Even when working for a corrupt, dishonest, unethical employer, Yaakov never compromised his principles.  And he succeeded, amassing a huge fortune. 

 

Yaakov’s Dream 

 

Twenty years earlier, when Yaakov left his homeland and traveled toward his uncle’s home, he slept along the road and beheld a famous dream.  He saw a ladder that extended to the heavens, and angels walking up and down the ladder. 

 

Numerous different interpretations have been given for the meaning of this dream.  Most famously, Rashi explains that Yaakov that night beheld the “changing of the guards,” as it were.  The angels that had accompanied him in the Land of Israel were returning to the heavens, while new angels descended from the upper world to accompany him and protect him during what would be a lengthy sojourn outside the Holy Land. 

 

A lesser-known explanation is given by the Ba’al Ha’turim (Rabbenu Yaakov Ben Asher, Germany-Spain, 1269-1340), who notes that the world sulam (ladder) has the numerical value (gematria) of 136 – the same as the word mamon – money.  At first glance, this might appear as nothing more than a random coincidence.  But in truth, this numerical association reflects a profound and important lesson, one which was directly relevant to Yaakov at this point in his life.   

 

Until this moment, Yaakov had spent his life immersed in Torah study, without any other responsibilities.  Now, he was going to start a family.  His father, Yitzhak, had specifically instructed him to marry a daughter of Lavan.  Yaakov journeyed not only to flee from his brother, but also to get married and have children whom he would need to support.   And so Gd showed Yaakov the image of a ladder, representing mammon – money, to teach him that the pursuit of wealth is like a ladder: it can either elevate a person, or cast him down to the ground.   

 

The quest for money is, inherently, perfectly legitimate – as long as we recognize that it is a “ladder.”  It can lead a person to dishonesty, to lying, cheating and deception.  There is a lure to lower one’s ethical standards when a profitable opportunity presents itself.  The angels going down the ladder symbolize the risk of “descent,” or moral decline, when pursuing a livelihood.  The ascending angels, by contrast, show us how the pursuit of wealth can elevate a person, granting him the opportunity to give, to donate, to contribute, to build, to have an impact.  Money is a ladder – it can lift a person to great heights of meaningful accomplishment, or, Gd forbid, lower him to the depths of immorality.  

 

Setting the Gold Standard 

 

Our nation is known as Yisrael, the name given to Yaakov Avinu.  This means that one of our primary defining characteristics, if not the defining characteristic of our people, must be emet.  Honesty in business is not just a “nice thing to do,” or a measure of piety reserved for the especially pious.  It is the “a,b,c’s” of Judaism.  We are the children and heirs of Yaakov Avinu, the pillar of emet, the exemplar of integrity, the model of ethical behavior.  Whether one is an employee or employer, and in whichever field one works, his very first and most important job is to be honest, to speak truthfully.  If he does, then his job or business uplifts and elevates him.  He becomes a worthy heir of the glorious spiritual legacy of Yaakov Avinu. 

 

Yaakov lost nothing as a result of his scrupulousness.  To the contrary, he became exceedingly wealthy.  When we forfeit a profitable opportunity for the sake of honesty, we are not making any sacrifice whatsoever.  We only gain.  Following the values and principles of the Torah is the greatest of all investments, with guaranteed returns. 

 

We must never forget that being “religious” does not involve only prayers, tefillin, mezuzah, Shabbat observance, kashrut, modest dress, and Torah study.  Of course, all this is a critically important part of a religious lifestyle.  But it also requires being scrupulously honest in all our dealings with other people, whether Jew or gentile.  This is what the name “Yisrael” means – that we follow Yaakov’s example of honesty. 

 

Religiously observant Jews must be the ones setting the gold standard of business ethics.  We must distance ourselves as far as possible from any questionable practices, from anything that even borders on dishonesty.  As the proud descendants of Yaakov Avinu, and as Gd’s ambassadors to mankind, let us maintain the strictest moral standards whatever we do, wherever we are, and with whomever we engage, thereby bringing glory to ourselves, to the Jewish Nation, and to the Almighty. 

Medical Halacha – Efficacy of Prayer

 

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas 

Jackie returned from the doctor shaking. Slumped on the couch, he began crying. The test results he just received were inconclusive, some tests needed to be repeated, and new tests were required. Jackie was stressed out and sought my advice: “Rabbi, I’m broken. What do I do?” 

 

Praying to Hashem for healing, or therapeutic success is a practice deeply rooted in the Torah and Jewish thought. Tefilla is a profound, significant part of Judaism and is very relevant in contemporary life. 

 

Prayer in the Torah 

 

There are many narratives of illness and recovery in the Torah, where individuals turned to Hashem in times of physical illness: Avraham Avinu prayed for Avimelech (Beresheet 20:17), Yitzhak and Rivkah prayed for children (Bereshit 25:21), and Tehillim is full of the heartfelt prayers of David Hamelech, where he beseeches Hashem for mercy, healing, and salvation. 

 

The Mishna and Talmud also contain discussions and teachings on the importance of prayer in times of illness and distress. Our Hachamim repeatedly emphasized the power of prayer to invoke Divine intervention, healing, and consolation. 

 

The Healing Power of Faith 

 

But even while it is vital that we turn to Hashem for our health needs, Maran Beit Yosef (YD 336:1) states that not only is it permissible to seek medical care but it is, in fact, an obligatory mitzva to do so. What this means is that in seeking out medical care, we are not interfering with Hashem’s Divine Will.  

 

While we must do our hishtadlut, the ultimate success is only in the hands of Hashem. The Beit Yosef quotes a rebuke of King Asa (Divrei Hayamim 2:16:12), “Even when he was ill, he did not seek out Hashem, but instead only the doctors.” King Asa “only” turned to the doctors without combining that with tefilla and faith in Hashem (see Bach).  

 

The act of praying for healing acknowledges the uncertainty of life’s challenges and the need for Divine assistance. It is a profound affirmation of faith in Hashem‘s sovereignty over life and death. Tefilla is the awareness of Gd’s Presence, and we declare our dependence on Him and appreciate that only He decides the outcome. 

 

Examples from our Hachamim 

 

Let’s examine a few sources in Hazal and our Hachamim: First and foremost, a person should always pray that he does not become ill in the first place (Shabbat 32a, quoted in Beit Yosef YD 335). The Talmud tells us that somebody who is already ill should seek a Hacham who will pray for their recovery (Baba Batra 116a, quoted in YD 335:10 and Hazon Ovadya Aveilut Vol.1 p.29). In fact, the main way to fulfill the mitzva of bikur holim, visiting the sick, is to pray for the sick person’s speedy recovery (Rambam, Avel 14:6). Hacham Ovadia, zt”l,  writes that if one visits a sick friend but did not pray for them, he has not fulfilled the mitzva of bikur holim at all! (Hazon Ovadya ibid. p.4). 

 

Hacham Ovadia lists a special prayer for a person to say before any medical procedure (based on Brachot 60a, Rambam Brachot 10:21, SA OH 230:4): “May it be Your will, Hashem, that You should send me a complete recovery, for You are a Merciful and Trustful Healer. Blessed are You, the One who listens to our prayers” (Hazon Ovadya ibid. p.499). 

 

Back to Jackie’s question. He must believe in the power of prayer to Hashem, believe that Hashem has a masterplan, and everything has a reason. Yet at the same time, he should continue with the necessary tests and procedures and at the same time believe that Hashem is the Merciful and Trustful Healer. He should therefore pray that he is not ill, and the test results should, therefore, come back in his favor.  

 

Baruch rofeh holim.   

Rabbi Yehuda Finchas is a worldwide expert, lecturer, and writer on medical halacha, and is the head of the Torat Habayit Medical Halacha Institute. His latest book is “Brain Death in Halacha and the Tower of Babel Syndrome.” To contact Rabbi Finchas, email rabbi@torathabayit.com. 

What You Can Do to Help

Rabbi Nechemia Coopersmith 

The nation of Israel is crying. The images are too horrific. The pain is too immense. The fear is too great. Confusion abounds. Families are missing loved ones. Scores have been kidnapped.  

Right now is the time for tears, not words, not answers. 

Ways to Help  

What can people around the world do during this dire time as Israel prepares for a war it did not seek? 

Here are a few concrete actions that all of us can take. 

Pray 

Unload your burden and share your tears and fears with Hashem. Pray for the missing civilians and soldiers; pray for the wounded; pray for the soldiers who are in harm’s way, serving to protect their country; pray for the families who have lost loved ones, and pray for the entire Jewish people. 

There is a time-honored custom to recite Tehillim in times of distress. King David wrote stirring words that echo our situation today. Recommended are Psalms 20, 83, 121, 130, and 142. 

Increase Torah Study and Mitzvot  

Every mitzvah, every good deed, increases light in the world and creates a spiritual force. Commit to increasing your performance of a mitzvah with the intention of creating a merit to help protect the people of Israel – whether it is giving charity, going to a class,  or committing to learning Torah for a few additional minutes every day. Your actions make a spiritual difference. 

Work on Jewish Unity 

The government and army were totally blindsided by this unprecedented attack. But what everyone did see leading up to this war was the unprecedented lack of unity in the country, between left and right, religious and non-religious. Many people felt that the very foundations of our country were being weakened. 

What a tragedy, that it takes a war to unite us. Unity doesn’t mean unanimity, that everyone is in full agreement. It means a basic respect and understanding of the other, a genuine attempt to see the reasonableness of the other side, their humanity, and to love them as a brother and sister. 

During these fateful days let’s consciously work on decreasing the arguing and vilifying, and work on fostering genuine love and respect. We can only defeat the enemy if we are united. 

Publicly Support Israel 

Contact your elected officials and demand that they publicly support Israel and provide all assistance necessary to the Israeli government and its civilians. Call and write your representatives to have your voice heard. 

 

Give Financial Support 

Your donation makes a real difference. Here are  a couple of options to consider: 

Yad Eliezer: Help support families affected by the war – www.bezri.org 

United Hatzalah: Donate funds towards equipment for protective vests and helmets, oxygen tanks, defibrillators, trauma bandages, and tourniquets for first responders – www.israelrescue.org 

 

Be Vigilant 

The war in Israel affects Jews around the world. All Jews are potential targets. If you see something suspicious, say something to security personnel or police. 

Volunteer 

You can donate blood. You can donate supplies and clothing for soldiers and civilians. You can order hot meals for those in need. You can volunteer to ship supplies to Israel. Get creative! 

Rabbi Nechemia Coopersmith lives in Jerusalem with his wife and children. He is the chief editor of Aish.com.

Absolute Mercy

Hashem has endless compassion and all His ways are merciful. We don’t always feel that mercy, but we must know it is there. Sometimes we pray and beg Hashem to help us with our needs. We know how capable He is of helping, but we don’t see changes. Out problem persists, and we wonder, Doesn’t Hashem see how much we are begging Him? Doesn’t He know how badly we need help?
It is those times that we have to use our emunah to trust that Hashem is being merciful, and that He knows how to help us better than we do.
For eight years, thousands of tefillot were offered on behalf of Shalom Mordechai Rubashkin to be released from prison. There were gatherings all over the world before a judge was due to review his case and possibly reduce his harsh 27-year sentence. Yet, after all our prayers, the judge did not change anything. We wondered, What happened to all the prayers?
Rabbi Meir Wizman pointed out the following: Had the judge reduced the sentence to 17 years, we probably would have been happy with the fruits of our labor – 10 years less in prison. Had that happened, however, Sholom Rubashkin’s case would not have been brought up again for further review. He would have already benefitted from the reduction of his term.
It was because nothing was done for him at that time that the door later opened to his sentence being commuted! All the tefillot were heard; all the tefillot were used. What seemed to us like cruelty at the time was, in fact, the greatest mercy of Hashem.
The pasuk says (Beresheet 45:1), Yosef could not restrain himself [he had to reveal who he was to his brothers]. Soon after that, however, the pasuk says that he cried on Binyamin’s shoulder. Rashi writes that he was crying over the future destruction of the two Batei Mikdash.
We ask, “Why would Yosef cry about that at the moment?” The Sefat Emet (Vayigash, 5641) tells us that Yosef was trying to bring about a full atonement for what his brothers had done to him. Had he waited a little longer, and had hey agonized a little more, the atonement they needed would have been achieved. But Yosef could not restrain himself. His emotions overwhelmed him.
Afterward, Yosef saw in a prophecy that because the brothers’ sin was not totally exonerated, the two Batei Mikdash would ultimately be destroyed. That is why he cried then and there. Yosef was not able to hold back – his brothers were pleading with him.
But Hashem is able to hold back. He refrains from giving us immediate benefits in order to give us the ultimate benefits! At the time we experience our difficulty, it seems cruel that Hashem is not helping. In reality, however, it is mercy.
Rabbi Wizman relates:
Zechariah hosted a class in his home and he would offer tea to all those who attended. For some reason, he poured only a half cup at a time. If anyone wanted more, he would serve them another half cup.
One day, he told his son that he would be away for the next class and asked him to be in charge. “But remember,” he said, “Make sure to pour everybody only a half cup of tea at a time.”
“Why are you so careful to pour only a half cup?” his son asked. “Doesn’t it seem stingy?’
Zechariah replied, “There are two people who attend the class whose hands shake. I don’t want to give everyone a whole cup and them a half – it would embarrass them. Therefore, I just give everyone a half cup at a time and no one knows why.”
Here we have an example of something that looked ugly; only offering a half cup at a time. That half cup, however, was overflowing with kindness. This is how we are to view Hashem. Even what appears to be cruelty is nothing less than absolute mercy.

Timeline of the October 7th Surprise Attack by Hamas on Israel

On October 7th, as Israelis were wrapping up the festival of Sukkot on Shabbat, sirens echoed across the country just before dawn, and citizens soon realized it was not a false alarm. A full-fledged surprise attack was being waged from the air, sea, and ground by hordes of Hamas militants. 

Thousands of missiles fired from Gaza streaked through the sky and began raining down on indiscriminate targets in Israel, sparking terror and leaving hundreds of bodies in the streets of cities and buildings decimated.  

Simultaneously, hundreds of armed fighters of the terrorist group, many on motorcycles, followed bulldozers that breached fences separating Israel from Gaza and charged into cities, taking Israeli soldiers off guard and gunning down citizens. 

The lightning-quick, multi-pronged ambush also included dozens of Hamas militants in motorboats storming Israeli beaches and engaging in fierce firefights with Israeli forces. Other armed Hamas attackers swooped into Israel through the smoke-filled skies on paragliders. 

As those under attack rushed to safe rooms and bomb shelters, groups of terrorists infiltrating the county marched into towns and into kibbutz after kibbutz, opening fire on homes and killing Israeli citizens at random.  

Militants burst into houses, shooting residents begging for their lives and taking others – including women, children and the elderly – hostage, driving the terrified captives back into Gaza as many of them screamed for help. 

Timeline of the October 7th Attack 

Oct. 7, 6:30am in Israel 

Air raid sirens began sounding in Jerusalem around 6:30am, warning citizens of the attack in progress and to immediately take cover. An estimated 2,200 rockets were fired toward southern and central Israel, including Tel Aviv and Jerusalem, by the Hamas militants, according to the Israel Defense Forces. Meanwhile, Hamas claimed at least 5,000 rockets were fired, all landing in southern and central Israel. 

One missile slammed into a hospital in the Israeli coastal town of Ashkelon, Israeli officials said. 

Armed Hamas militants, many on motorcycles, storm blockaded areas of the Gaza Strip, shooting at Jewish settlers in the Gaza Strip, officials said. Video footage surfaces of Hamas militants taking Israeli citizens – including mothers, children, and the elderly – hostage and taking them across the Gaza border. 

In one of its first public messages, the IDF said Saturday morning, “Over the past hour, the Hamas terrorist organization launched massive barrages of rockets from Gaza into Israel, and its terrorist operatives have infiltrated into Israel in a number of different locations in the south.” Videos posted online captured hundreds of Hamas soldiers breaching the Israeli border from Gaza by boat, pickup trucks, and even motorized paragliders. 

Oct. 7, 8:00am in Israel  

Mohammed Deif, Commander in Chief of the Hamas’ military arm Al Qassam Brigades, releases a video statement claiming responsibility for the attack. 

Oct. 7, 10:30am  

Israeli jet fighters launched retaliatory strikes in Gaza. Video surfaces of a high-rise residential building and the Al-Sousi Mosque in Gaza City being bombed and flattened by Israeli airstrikes. 

Oct. 7, 11:50am in Israel 

Netanyahu makes his first public statement, telling his country, “Israel is at war.” 

“This is not a so-called military operation, not another round of fighting, but war,” Netanyahu said. 

Oct. 7, Around 8:30pm ET 

U.S. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin releases a statement saying he is “closely monitoring” the situation in Israel and extends his condolences to the families of those who have lost their lives in Israel. 

“Over the coming days, the Department of Defense will work to ensure that Israel has what it needs to defend itself and protect civilians from indiscriminate violence and terrorism,” Austin said. 

Separately, a U.S. defense official said that Austin had a call with his team Saturday morning, including U.S. Centcom Commander Gen. Eric Kurilla. Israel falls under CENTCOM’s area of responsibility. 

Oct. 7, Around 9:30am ET 

The White House announces that President Joe Biden has been briefed by senior national security officials “on the appalling Hamas terrorist attacks in Israel.” 

Oct. 7, Just After 10am ET 

U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken issues a statement condemning Hamas’ attack on Israel, saying the U.S. will “remain in close contact with our Israel partners.” 

“The United States unequivocally condemns the appalling attacks by Hamas terrorists against Israel, including civilians and civilian communities. There is never any justification for terrorism. We stand in solidarity with the government and people of Israel, and extend our condolences for the Israeli lives lost in these attacks,” Blinken said in a statement. 

Oct. 7, Around 11am ET 

The White House announces that Biden had spoken with Netanyahu, telling the prime minister the U.S. “condemns” Hamas’ assault on Israel. 

“I made clear to Prime Minister Netanyahu that we stand ready to offer all appropriate means of support to the Government and people of Israel. Terrorism is never justified. Israel has a right to defend itself and its people. The United States warns against any other party hostile to Israel seeking advantage in this situation. My Administration’s support for Israel’s security is rock solid and unwavering,” Biden said in a televised statement. 

Oct. 7, Around 5pm ET

Netanyahu makes a televised address in Israel, repeating his earlier statement that Israel is at war, adding, “We will win.” 

“This morning, Hamas launched a murderous surprise attack against the State of Israel and its citizens,” Netanyahu said. “We have been in this since the early morning hours. I convened the heads of the security establishment and ordered – first of all – to clear out the communities that have been infiltrated by terrorists. This currently is being carried out. At the same time, I have ordered an extensive mobilization of reserves and that we return fire of a magnitude that the enemy has not known. The enemy will pay an unprecedented price. In the meantime, I call on the citizens of Israel to strictly adhere to the directives of the IDF and Home Front Command. We are at war and we will win it.” 

One on One with Brenda Antebi

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

“I’m passionate about volunteering – it’s in my genes. I am creative and love planning happy occasions.”    ~ Brenda ~  

What a joy to meet Brenda Saka Antebi, granddaughter of the late Charles Saka, a”h. He was a beloved humanitarian and philanthropist, and his greatest legacy was his dedication to hesed and community that has already impacted three generations. Brenda says his hand was in everything. He lived his life performing acts of kindness to others and taught his family to do the same.  

Brenda is the daughter of Margie Levy and Sammy Saka, both of Syrian descent. She was born in NJ and educated at Hillel Yeshiva. Brenda is the oldest of five children, and has three brothers and a sister. “Toward the end of high school, I became much more outgoing, and realized that my creativity and my bubbly personality were my greatest assets.”  Brenda always liked participating in community work and enjoyed volunteering for charity causes at a young age. “I was brought up that way and it was ingrained in me to be involved.”  At the Shabbat table, discussions centered around the community’s needs and how they could best be addressed. Input from everyone was encouraged, no matter how young.  

Brenda’s Essence  

Brenda describes herself as creative, hardworking, persistent, dedicated, optimistic, and kind. When she talks about her family, the community projects she’s engaged in, and her event planning, the excitement in her voice is palpable. “I like to wear a lot of hats. It energizes me!”   

Brenda is passionate about everything she does. Taking on community and hesed endeavors and hosting came naturally to her, due in great part to the strong female role models in her life. Her grandmother Brenda Saka showed by example how to quietly do hesed and never seek recognition. Grandma Sara Levy taught her authentic Syrian recipes and their importance in keeping community tradition. From her mother Brenda learned the importance of being present for her children and always putting family first. Her mother-in-law, Shelly Antebi, modeled how to entertain with ease, and is always available for advice about business whenever Brenda needs.  

Brenda loves evolving and growing. With every event, she learns new skills and strategies.  

College and Career Path  

Given her creative bent, Brenda always intended to make use of her special talents. After high school, she enrolled at the Fashion Institute of Technology and majored in Accessories Design.  

Why FIT?  

“I knew a conventional four-year college wasn’t for me. At the age of 15, I took a class and built my own portfolio of handbags.” Brenda’s cousin, Barbara Saka, introduced her to Jennifer Siletski, who helped her prepare a portfolio for her FIT application. The dual curriculum at Hillel Yeshiva prepared Brenda for the rigorous program at FIT, providing her with a strong work ethic. Brenda’s FIT schedule was very demanding, with her classes ending late at night.  

“I was immersed in making handbags and shoes, creating patterns, sourcing fabrics and hardware, cutting the fabric, and sewing the bags.”  

During Passover of her second year at FIT in 2011, Brenda met her naseeb, Elliot Antebi. It turns out she had known him since childhood. The couple married in the summer of 2012 and lived in Manhattan for two years. Brenda became pregnant when she was graduating FIT, received her bachelor’s degree, and moved back to Deal in 2014. She gave birth to their first daughter, Shelly, in March 2015.  

Motherhood  

Becoming a mother stirred Brenda to exercise her creativity. She followed her desire to put her FIT education into use. “When Shelly was born, I started making hair bows for her, and launched my own company, Habit and Hyde Bows. I designed a collection, sourced fabrics, and hired an assistant, Marcelle Sasson. I loved helping people find the right match for outfits and connecting with my customers.”  

Shelly’s sister Margie was born in 2017 and the Antebi’s moved into their own home. Their third daughter, Florence was born in 2019. Brenda enjoyed hosting guests and entertaining family and friends for holidays and celebrations as well as for community events such as fundraisers. As a teenager, she had pitched in to help her mom entertain. Brenda was adept at all the details like setting tables and arranging flowers, while incorporating her own creative spark and flair. 

Segue into Event Planning  

Again, it was Brenda’s daughter who led her into a new career. After a wonderful birthday party Brenda hosted for Shelly, a friend’s mom called asking if Brenda could plan a party for her daughter, too.  

That first birthday party event in December 2020 kickstarted Brenda’s event planning business. She began with birthday parties. Her event bookings all came all through word of mouth. At first, Brenda didn’t take payment. She wanted to first gain experience. It was her mother-in-law who asked Brenda to arrange a brit for the first boy in their family. Before she knew it, Brenda had acquired a second specialty, brit milot celebrations. Then Brenda felt confident enough to start charging for her services. Her brother was getting married, and she planned his sebet. Requests for sebets, engagements, weddings, bar mitzvahs, and mazza parties started coming in. “My assistant, Marcelle has been with me since 2018 and transitioned beautifully from accessories to event planning.” 

Brenda values the relationship she develops with each client. Establishing trust with clients is key, so that they recognize that Brenda is there for them and can handle every detail of their events and any glitch that may arise.  

Brenda also loves lending her talent for community organizations. She has planned and hosted two Sephardic Bikur Holim Destination Deal Events in her home as well as her 10-year Hillel High School reunion.  

To continue Charlie Saka’s legacy of charity, Brenda has spearheaded her family’s initiative to raise money for cancer research and other charities with an annual walkathon in his memory.  Charlie, a”h, was known for creating opportunities for entrepreneurs and doing so many other quiet acts of hesed 

Juggling to Make It All Work 

“I’m good at juggling and am very organized, always making lists. My husband is my rock. He supports whatever I do, whether it’s volunteering in school, planning a party, or running to a board meeting. My mom helps me put the kids on the bus or comes early if I have a morning event booked. She wants me to succeed! My sister Sarah is also a great support and is my best friend.”  

Family comes first for Brenda. She wakes up early to prepare lunch for her children and pack their backpacks. “I’m very present with my kids. Once they come home from school, I am with them.” Her daughters are curious about her events and her community projects. It’s no surprise that Brenda helped her eight-year-old daughter Shelly set up a lemonade stand, where the proceeds were donated to the SBH food pantry. All of Brenda’s daughters help her with hesed projects, especially for their school, Hillel Yeshiva. They are proud to give back to the institution where for 20 years their grandfather Sammy has been at the helm.  

To express appreciation, Brenda started a beautiful monthly lunch program on Rosh Hodesh for all the Hillel teachers and staff.   

Brenda admits that balance is difficult. “Truthfully, I work well under pressure and thrive with tight deadlines.” Her assistant Marcelle knows her priorities and handles a lot of the behind-the- scenes work when needed so that Brenda can be with her family.  

This past summer Brenda and Elliot welcomed their fourth daughter, Samantha Charlie.  

Hakarat Hatov 

Brenda’s parents and grandparents significantly shaped who Brenda is today. She is so proud of her dad, who does it all. “He always makes time for everything: business, family, and the community.” Brenda quotes Sammy Saka’s advice, “If you need something done, ask a busy person.” Her mom is her inspiration in how she raises her children and runs her home.  

Both Margie and Sammy are her biggest cheerleaders, after her husband. Elliot has been supportive from the start and has always encouraged Brenda to follow her passions, knowing how they make her feel fulfilled. Brenda is inspired by the quiet way Elliot performs so many behind the scenes acts of hesed. She learns from him daily and is blessed to have him as a lifelong partner. 

Unwinding  

To relax, Brenda heads to the gym. “I work out almost every day, schedule my week in advance, and incorporate ‘my time.’ For one hour, I don’t look at my phone and prepare myself mentally for the day ahead.”  

Tips 

“Always follow your dreams and passions. Work ethic is your most valuable asset.”  

 

Brenda is a Hillel Yeshiva board member, and often volunteers for SBH and DSN. 

Message Brenda on Instagram www.instagram.com/brendaantebievents or call at 732-539-6908. 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Vice-President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com). 

Dealing With Tragedy – How to Cope Right Now

Mozelle Forman 

 

In 1967, Israel defeated three Arab armies, gained territory four times its original size, and became the preeminent military power in the region in only six days.   At that time, the world questioned how could this have happened?  How could a tiny, untrained army, fighting three massive enemies on three borders at the same time win that war?!  Those of us in Am Yisrael, who believe that Hashem Himself runs the world, had the answer – it was Hashem’s will.  Today, as in the days of the Holocaust, we find ourselves asking a very different question:  how could such a vicious attack be perpetrated on our innocent brothers and sisters?  How did the Israeli intelligence – touted as one of the most sophisticated in the world- miss this?  And those of us who believe that Hashem Himself runs the world understand that the answer is the same – it was Hashem’s will. 

 

Asking Why? 

 

Now, being curious creatures, who seek explanations for why things happen, we torture ourselves with the unanswerable question: why?  Why was this Hashem’s will?  And like the child who asks why he may not stay outside and play after it gets dark, and the teen who asks why he cannot have the latest gadget, no answer that we get to “why” will suffice.  No answer will comfort us or bring back our lost brothers and sisters and soldiers.  As mere mortals, we are not equipped to comprehend why.   

 

I have been asking myself these questions, as I believe we all are. We know, however, we will never really find a satisfactory answer.  There is so much information coming at us but it is impossible to know the real truth. I have made a conscious decision to limit my exposure to the media because the emotional pain I was experiencing was overwhelming.  At first, I felt guilty, like I was hiding. And I asked myself why I should have the luxury of being ignorant when others were suffering so greatly. But I reasoned that my suffering is not alleviating theirs and my pain does nothing to help Am Yisrael.  Instead I have immersed myself in  lectures and hizuk talks to help make sense, if that is even possible, of these tragic events.  I will share with you the most salient points I have heard and read.  They have brought me comfort and direction and I hope they do the same for you. 

 

Rabbis Offer Messages of Hizuk 

 

My fundamental worry and fears were related to the timing of the attacks – right after Rosh Hashana when everything that will occur in the coming year is decided.  I reached out to Rabbi Shmuel Choueka of Ohel Simha in Long Branch and asked him, “Rabbi, were we asleep on Rosh Hashana?  Did we miss the mark in our prayers?”  He replied, “Who is to say that our tefillot didn’t prevent the attacks from being worse?  Who is to say that our tefillot didn’t save thousands of others who may have perished?”  I found comfort in his words, because although we may not see an immediate impact of our tefillot, we believe that they protect us.  In a recent speech, Rabbi Joey Haber stressed that having bitachon means trusting and accepting whatever Hashem brings – sometimes He brings salvation and sometimes He brings pain.  Hashem’s wisdom is something we can never fully comprehend, so asking why is the wrong question.   

 

 

We cannot even ask why the enemy perpetrated this attack.  It makes no sense rationally.  This attack was not intended to yield political gain; it will not serve to further any political cause. So why?  Rabbi Y.Y. Jacobson emphatically states, “The sole purpose of the heinous attack was to sow panic into the Jewish world, to inculcate the Jewish people with incessant fear and weakness, to demoralize our nation, to make Jews feel helpless, to make Jews feel hopeless, to make Israel feel an insecurity that will tear us asunder,  to inculcate the Jewish psyche with a sense of pain, sadness, and depression.”  The actions of the enemy were intended as psychological warfare.  And in this war, we are all soldiers on the front lines.  And if we succumb to this attack with paralysis, emotional overload, anxiety, and depression, the enemy has triumphed. 

 

Of course, we are overwhelmed.  Of course, we are suffering. Mrs. Chani Juravel, LCSW, is a popular lecturer and therapist in Rockland County. She believes we should feel strongly about the fact that we share the pain of our brethren in Israel because it shows the closeness of am Yisrael.  Dr. Norman Blumenthal, Director of Trauma, Bereavement and Crisis Intervention at OHEL, believes that even though we are not on the front lines, because we are actually experiencing the events of the war when we see photos and videos and read or hear the news, we are all experiencing primary trauma – an experience or event that changes the way we view the world. “This event is so huge, so relevant to who we are as Jews and a country, that it feels very immediate to us.  And because this is a protracted event, like Covid was, we are vulnerable to shutting down and despairing.”  We should not minimize our feelings of pain.  We cannot be oblivious, but neither can we be all consumed.   

 

So what can we do with our questions and our in the face of this unfathomable tragedy?  How do we support our children and answer their questions when we ourselves are distraught? 

 

The Tools of Limiting Media Exposure and Self-Care 

 

Overwhelmingly, all the experts agree that first and foremost we must limit our exposure to the media.  Dr. Jerry Bubrick, Director of the Child Mind Institute, speaking at an SBH event, said “Being bombarded with images on social media and seeing the war in real time – real people and real events – we are at risk for developing anxiety and feeling personally unsafe.”  He advises that children under 10 should not see any images at all. As much as possible teens, and you yourself, should avoid overexposure to images and videos.  Shlomo Lieberman, Director of Mental Health at Sephardic Bikur Holim, concurs and adds, “Being engrossed in social media will make us fear that we are drowning in terror and powerless – exactly how the enemy wants us to feel.  An antidote to this feeling of powerlessness is to engage in our daily tasks, which help us to feel grounded, and to perform acts of hesed, both here and in Israel.”  Rabbi Joey Haber encourages us to do whatever we feel we can – say prayers, donate funds, make changes in ourselves – in order to feel like we are actively doing our part.  In addition, Mr. Lieberman advocates for self-care. “We are not selfish when we take care of ourselves at a time like this.”  If we are celebrating a wedding, we should do so fully.  We should engage in the things that give us pleasure without any guilt.   

 

Jewish Resilience 

 

Mrs. Dina Schoonmaker, a beloved teacher, international lecturer, and relationships counselor who lives in Jerusalem, reminds us that as Jews we have amazing emotional resilience, the ability to cope and bounce back from adversity.  We have a long history of condemnation and survival to draw from.  When the Jews were rounded up into ghettos, despite the poverty and fear, marriages were celebrated.  We know that there were celebrations of Simchat Torah in the death camps during the Holocaust.  We know, in fact we are commanded collectively, to contain two opposite emotions or ideologies.  Hashem is our Father and our King.  Our job is to love Him and to fear Him.  In the same vein, we must feel connected to all Am Yisrael, feel the pain and suffering of what they are experiencing, and continue to live a full, productive life. 

 

At the Pesach seder we acknowledge that in every generation an enemy rises up against us to destroy us and Hashem saves us from their hands.  We must keep this in our hearts and minds and let it keep us from hopelessness and despair.   

 

May Hashem help us vanquish our enemies, accept our prayers, bring lasting peace to his world, and bring Mashiach speedily. Amen 

 

Global Response- Hamas Attacks Inspire Mixed Loyalties Among the Nations

~Avi Kumar 

Over forty nations have condemned Hamas and their heinous actions. The atrocities committed were incomprehensible, and the shockwaves were felt worldwide on Shabbat morning, reminiscent of the Yom Kippur War 50 years ago. Over 1,400 were left dead, – the largest number of Jews killed in a single day since the Holocaust. This ranks as the third-deadliest terrorist attack in recorded history, exceeded only by the massacres perpetrated by ISIS in Syria and Iraq and the 9/11 attacks of 2001. Close to 200 people are believed to be held hostage at this time with U.S. and other foreign powers negotiating their release. Citizens of the U.S., Britain, Thailand, Nepal, UK, and Sri Lanka were also among those killed or missing.  

Tragedy Brings About Unity 

The circumstances of fighting a common foe united both left and right-wing Jews worldwide, who had been sharply divided by the judicial reform process in Israel. Israelis themselves have put politics aside to face Hamas, as a unity government was formed.   

Many governments in the West, Asia, and Africa displayed solidarity with Israel, from official statements to tweets from government leaders. Many Jews and Gentiles in the Diaspora held vigils and rallies in support of Israel. 

In response to the Hamas attack, Israel has launched “Operation Swords of Iron,” which has been met with mixed reactions. Let us look at who supports Israel, and who has closed their eyes to the atrocities, and support Hamas, nonetheless. 

The West 

In the U.S., President Joe Biden released a statement expressing his unequivocal  support for Israel. It read, “Terrorism is never justified. Israel has a right to defend itself and its people. The United States warns against any other party hostile to Israel seeking advantage in this situation.  My Administration’s support for Israel’s security is rock solid and unwavering.”  

U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin noted that the arrival of the aircraft carrier USS Eisenhower and its affiliated fleet signals Washington’s “ironclad commitment to Israel’s security and our resolve to deter any state or non-state actor seeking to escalate this war.” 

Austin said that the Eisenhower joined the USS Ford carrier strike group, which had arrived earlier “as part of our effort to deter hostile actions against Israel or any efforts toward widening this war following Hamas’s attack.” The U.S. has sent fighter jets to its numerous bases in West Africa as a show of force to deter Israel’s enemies, such as Hezbollah, Iran, and Syria from attacking while Israel is occupied with fighting Hamas. 

Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau said, “Unrest is being felt in ways big and small. Canadians are deeply worried, no matter their background.” He referred to tensions between Jews and Muslims in Canada and elsewhere.  

The UK announced that they were “poised” to help Israel militarily if it asked for any assistance and did not rule out evacuating British citizens, saying that their safety was of “utmost priority”

Britian’s Prime Minister Rishi Sunak spoke to Qatari and Saudi Arabian leaders, emphasizing that the conflict “must not be allowed to destabilize the wider region and cause further bloodshed.”

Vigils were held in Leeds and London mourning the victims of the attack. Protests erupted outside the BBC office as Israel supporters were outraged that the news network refused to use the word “terrorists” to describe Hamas, although they freely called others “terrorists” who perpetrated attacks in England. 

French police used tear gas and water cannons to disperse a pro-Palestinian rally in Paris as President Emmanuel Macron urged the French people to avoid bringing the conflict to its shores. 

Hungary’s Prime Minister Viktor Orbán stated that he would not permit rallies in support of the Palestinian cause, such as those taking place throughout Europe. Pro-Israel and pro-Palestine rallies were held across Europe with France and Germany now having banned pro-Hamas demonstrations. 

The Middle East

Many Arab governments released statements supporting the Palestinian cause. The overarching theme was that they did condemn the violence, but also blamed Israel’s treatment of the Palestinians as the root cause of the attack. 

Some nations, such as the Arab League members Qatar, Kuwait, and Iraq, put the blame and responsibility upon Israel. Syria, a ”suspended” member of the Arab League, did the same. 

Asia 

Indian Prime Minister Modi told Netanyahu, “India stands firmly with Israel… strongly and unequivocally condemns terrorism.” This is a major shift from India’s previously cautious diplomatic policy in the Middle East. The previous government, had been pro Palestine or more “neutral.”

A statement from Sri Lanka’s  Ministry of Foreign Affairs read, “Sri Lanka is deeply concerned about the attacks and escalation of violence and the resulting loss of life in Israel and Palestine.” 

Sri Lanka called for an immediate halt to violence and called on all parties to exercise maximum restraint to prevent further civilian casualties.

South Korea is a major trading partner of Israel. President Yoon Suk Yeol condemned Hamas’ “indiscriminate” attacks, but did not overtly show support for Israel. 

Malaysian Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim said he would not yield to Western pressure to condemn Hamas, arguing that his [Muslim] nation would continue to maintain relations with Hamas. 

Africa 

Reactions across Africa were also mixed. 

In a statement, the African Union (AU) Chairperson Moussa Faki Mahamat expressed “utmost concern” at the incident that has “grave consequences” for the lives of both Israelis and Palestinians. Mahamat lambasted the failure of the several long-term international efforts to solve the crisis, saying, “The Chairperson wishes to recall the fundamental rights of the Palestinian people, particularly that of an independent and sovereign state, is the main cause of the permanent Israeli-Palestinian tension.”

In Kenya, President William Ruto “unequivocally” condemned terrorism by Hamas, adding Kenya stands in solidarity with the State of Israel: “In consideration of the complex and delicate context of the security situation in Israel-Palestine, Kenya also makes a call for the de-escalation of violence,”  Ruto said. 

Kenya itself has faced terror attacks in the past. There are unverified reports that Israel assisted the East African nation with hostage negotiation advice during the Westgate Mall terror attacks that occurred a decade ago.   

Meanwhile, Africa’s largest nation, Nigeria called for a “de-escalation and ceasefire” via dialogue, adding that it was deeply concerned. “The cycle of violence … only serves to perpetuate an unending cycle of pain and suffering for the civilian population that bears the brunt of every conflict,” Nigerian officials said.  

Latin America 

Israel currently maintains diplomatic relations with all Latin American countries except for Cuba, Bolivia, and Venezuela. Given Latin America’s shift to the left, it is not surprising that the overwhelming majority support the Palestinians.  

Brazil and Colombia have sided with the Palestinians. Many of the leftwing governments are not pro-Israel. 

Notable among Israel’s allies here was El Salvadorian President Nayib Bukele, who said, “As a Salvadoran with Palestinian ancestry, I’m sure the best thing that could happen to the Palestinian people is for Hamas to completely disappear. Those savage beasts do not represent the Palestinians. Anyone who supports the Palestinian cause would make a great mistake siding with those criminals.” 

Australia 

Australia’s Prime Minister Anthony Albanese told ABC radio, “We stand by Israel and its right to protect itself.”

United Nations  

The U.N. Security Council convened and rejected a Russian-lead resolution condemning violence and terrorism against civilians, with no mention of Hamas.  

 

Voting in favor of the resolution were China, the United Arab Emirates (UAE), Gabon, and Mozambique. Opposing nations included the U.S., UK, France, and Japan. The other six nations abstained from voting. The resolution failed to pass, falling short of the required nine votes out of 15 in the Security Council.  

 

Globally, vigils and protests were held as both Israeli and Palestinian supporters took to the streets to proclaim solidarity to the side they supported. Many celebrities such as Israeli actress Gal Gadot and Harry Potter author JK Rowling took to social media to voice their support for Israeli victims of the Hamas attacks.

Take Away 

Although  the world is divided among Israel’s supporters and detractors, and Israel faces the specter of war, we see that  many allies have emerged for Israel, some more unlikely than others. Our supporters worldwide and our faith in Gd provide a ray of light in these harrowing times. 

The Case – Back to School

Mrs. Goldenberg is a math teacher in a community school. She is known to be a stern disciplinarian, and she has acquired the respect and admiration of her high school students. David, a student in her classroom and definitely a challenging personality, consistently interrupts the class. On the third day of school, Mrs. Goldenberg confiscated David’s iPad air due to the disturbance it was causing the classroom. Although David initially resisted, Mrs. Goldenberg assured him that she was confiscating the iPad temporarily and he reluctantly handed it over. The iPad was stored by Mrs. Goldenberg in the teacher’s closet. Before the holiday break, David asked for his property to be returned. However, the iPad was missing from the closet. David placed a phone call to our Bet Din demanding that Mrs. Goldenberg reimburse him for the loss he sustained, and deliver to him the monetary compensation he would need to buy a new iPad. Mrs. Goldenberg responded to our call explaining that she felt that she was not responsible for the loss, since David was in violation of using the device during class. She explained that David must take responsibility for such a violation, and frankly, he is the ultimate cause of his own loss. She felt it was a perfect opportunity for David to learn the consequences of breaking the rules.  

Is David or Mrs. Goldenberg responsible for the lost iPad? How should the Bet Din rule and why? 

 

Torah Law 

According to Torah law, a teacher has the right to take the necessary measures needed to discipline students. While Talmudic law offers a great deal of latitude in restraining a misbehaving student, nevertheless, a teacher is required to adhere to the direction of contemporary Torah leaders of the generation regarding disciplinary tactics. Conforming to the educational norms of society and adhering to school policy is a teacher’s responsibility. Damages caused by a teacher that are unrelated to the behavioral correction of a student, are viewed as excessive and the student maintains the right to compensation.  

It stands to reason that confiscating an electronic device from a student to prevent further disruption caused by the device, is clearly within a teacher’s authority. However, a teacher is restricted from using the device and must guard the property while it is in her possession. Like an unpaid watchman, a teacher is liable if the item is stolen because of negligence. Hence, if the property of the student was originally only temporarily confiscated, in instances in which the teacher is unable to return the item on account of negligence, she is liable. The teacher may not attribute the theft to the student’s misconduct, since she already prescribed the necessary punishment as a temporary confiscation and consented to returning the item.  

Interestingly, according to some leading halachic authorities, a community leader of profound stature may penalize a member of the community to prevent him from violating Torah law. This ruling is rarely applicable and is surely not relevant to a high school teacher. Thus, even though a teacher wishes to penalize a student monetarily to teach him a lesson for the future, she is restricted from doing so.  

By rule of the Shulhan Aruch, an unpaid watchman that negligently stores a valuable item is liable for payment. If the item is not stored under lock and key, then the one who has stored it is regarded as negligent, especially if others have access to the closet in which the item is stored. Even a locked closet is insufficient in instances in which a copy of the key is held by numerous people who are untrustworthy.  

According to Torah law, if a lender is servicing a borrower at the time of loaning him an object, the borrower is by divine decree absolved of all liability. This decree, written explicitly in the verses of the Torah, is applicable to all custodians and is relevant even in case of negligence. According to the Shulhan Aruch this decree is also applicable to a teacher and student in a classroom setting. Depending on who can dictate the material studied, the other party is considered a servicer. Nowadays, neither the student nor teacher can dictate what material is studied but rather the curriculum is set by the school administration or board, rendering this decree rarely applicable in a classroom.  

According to Torah law, one who is liable for damages to another’s property is only required to pay for the value of the item at the time of damage. Hence, although replacing the item for a new one is obviously more money, the offender is only liable to compensate the victim with the value of a used item.  

VERDICT: The Struggle of a School Teacher 

Our Bet Din ruled that although Mrs. Goldenberg had the right to temporarily confiscate David’ s iPad, she is, however, liable for payment. After questioning, it was apparent that the closet door was generally left unlocked, and although it may have been locked for part of the time, the key was held by numerous workers. Leaving an iPad in an unlocked closet is an act of negligence, which warrants compensation. As mentioned in Torah law, since Mrs. Goldenberg originally prescribed the necessary punishment for David’s actions and consented to returning the iPad, she may no longer attribute the theft to David’s misconduct. The theft is a factor unrelated to David’s behavioral correction and is her liability. Mrs. Goldenberg’s request for an exemption to teach David a lesson for the future was rejected as well. As aforementioned, it is not within the teacher’s jurisdiction to monetarily penalize a student as a preventive measure. Nevertheless, Mrs. Goldenberg is not responsible for the cost of a new iPad, since the iPad that was stolen was not new. She is only responsible to compensate for the value of the iPad at the time of its theft. Thus, after inquiry, our Bet Din ruled that Mrs. Goldenberg is to pay half the claim. We instructed that payment was to be made to David’s parents, thereby preventing her any unnecessary embarrassment. 

 In Loving Memory of Vera Bat Carol, A”H 

 

YOU BE THE JUDGE 

 

Under Attack 

Joe rented out his luxurious beachfront villa in Ashdod to Sam for the duration of three weeks, commencing with the first day of Sukkot. The total cost of the rental for the three-week period was $10,000. Upon payment in full, Joe provided Sam with the keys to the Ashdod villa. With the barbaric attack of the Hamas terrorist group on the eighth day of the holiday, the city of Ashdod was subject to multiple missile attacks for the duration of the short-term rental. As such, within a few days of the attack, Sam evacuated the villa and traveled with his family back to Los Angelas. Prior to his departure he messaged Joe that he expects a refund in the amount of $6,666 dollars on account of the war. A Bet Din session was conducted via zoom, and while both parties apologized to our staff for disputing the matter during this tragic crisis, they both expressed that they were not wealthy people and needed the money to help their children. Joe, the homeowner, explained that since the rent was already collected in full, the ramifications of the war are the misfortune of Sam, the tenant. Sam countered that his vacation turned into a traumatic nightmare as he and his family spent all day in and out of the home’s bomb shelter with sirens and explosions sounding off overhead.  

Is Sam entitled to a refund? Can Joe withhold the funds once collected? How should the Bet Din rule and why? 

 

Divrei Chizuk – Let Me Not See It”

Rabbi Eli J. Mansour 

 

Reflecting on the shock and horror into which we were all thrust upon hearing the news of the barbaric atrocities perpetrated against our brothers and sisters in Israel, a verse from the Book of Beresheet – which we started reading that week – came to mind. 

 

Yosef told his brothers that he dreamt that “anahnu me’alemim alumim betoch hasadeh – we were binding sheaves in the middle of the field” (37:7).  The root of the words “me’alemim” and “alumim” is a.l.m., which can also mean “mute.”  In addition to the primary reading of the text, which refers to Yosef’s vision of himself and his brothers collecting sheaves of grain, Yosef was also foreseeing a time when their descendants would be “mute” – and not just mute, but doubly mute.  A mute person is capable of nonverbal communication, expressing himself through various gestures and motions.  Yosef described a reality of “me’alemim alumim,” where people are not only mute in the sense of being unable to speak, but also in the inability to express themselves at all.   

 

This is what happened to all of us, and to people around the world, in the wake of the horrific attack on Israel this past Simhat Torah.  Even professional news reporters with years of experience relaying information, and reporting on horrible tragedies, broke down while reporting on what happened in Israel.  All of us felt “mute,” not knowing what to say, not knowing how to react, in the face of such an unspeakable atrocity. 

 

However, Yosef’s prediction does not end there.  He continues, “vehineh kama alumati vegam nitzavah – and behold, my sheaf rose, and also stood upright.”  Yosef foresaw that although we will experience horrors that will make us “mute,” that will paralyze us, we will rise again, to even greater heights.  We will not remain paralyzed.  We will rise from the sorrow, pain and trauma of the tragedy, and stand tall and proud yet again. 

 

The question that we must all ask ourselves, then, is how we do this.  How do we rise from the depths of despair after what our nation just suffered? 

 

I would like to humbly present one insight which shows us at least what we must not be doing at this time, if we want to recover and stand tall once again. 

 

What the Rabbis of the Talmud Wished Not to See 

 

The Gemara in Masechet Sanhedrin (98b) tells that a number of the greatest Amoraim (Talmudic sages) expressed a wish regarding the time of Mashiah’s arrival.  They prayed, “Yeteh velo ihmineh – Let it come, but I wish not to see it.”  They of course prayed that Mashiah should arrive, but they also prayed not to “see” the events unfold. 

 

The conventional understanding of this prayer, which is how I had always read it, is that the period preceding Mashiah’s arrival will be fraught with hardships and will be characterized by the moral deterioration of society.  The Mishnah at the end of Masechet Sotah describes that in the final generation before Mashiah, the young will not respect the old, and societal norms will break down.  The Amoraim thus prayed not to witness this moral collapse. 

 

In light of the recent events, however, I would propose an additional reading.  Perhaps, these Amoraim foresaw that in the generation before Mashiah, it will be possible to “see” everything.  Events will be photographed and filmed, and will instantly be made available – or even shown live – to everyone in the world.  And these rabbis implored us not to see everything, not to spend our time looking upon the terrible atrocities that will occur. 

 

The Gemara tells the story of Elisha ben Avuyah, who was among the greatest sages of his time.  He was the teacher of the great Rabbi Meir, one of the most important Tannaim (rabbis of the Mishnah).  Unfortunately, however, Elisha ben Avuyah ended up becoming an apostate, rejecting Torah observance.  He deviated so far from Torah belief and practice that the rabbis derisively referred to him as “Aher” (“the other”), not willing to even mention his name.  The Gemara (Hullin 142a) relates that Elisha was led to apostasy because of a gruesome and tragic site which he beheld during the period of the Romans’ persecution of the Jews.  There was a great rabbi named Rabbi Hutzpit Ha’meturgeman, who worked as the “voice” of the rabbis, loudly projecting the rabbis’ words to large crowds during lectures.  The Romans cruelly removed the Rabbi Hutzpit’s tongue from his mouth, and threw it into the trash.  Elisha ben Avuyah could not fathom how this tongue, which was used to communicate the sacred words of the Torah, disseminating Torah knowledge to thousands of students, could end up in a garbage heap.  This sight shook Elisha to his core, and, unfortunately, he never recovered.  The disturbing thoughts and questions led him along a downward spiral, to the depths of apostasy. 

 

If this is what happened to Elisha ben Avuyah, an outstanding Torah sage, then we are certainly at risk of endangering our souls by seeing the gruesome sights that our barbaric enemies spread through all the various media channels.  A crucial part of their strategy is to demoralize us, to shake our faith, to make us feel scared and vulnerable.  The gruesome photographs and footage which they purposefully and revoltingly broadcast are intended to do just that.  We must not fall into the trap.   

 

This might be the meaning of the Amoraim’s prayer, “Let it come, but I wish not to see it.”  They were not only praying, but also warning us not to look, not to see what our enemies want us to see.  If viewing such images could ruin Elisha ben Avuyah, then it can certainly ruin us, Heaven forbid. 

 

In order to transition from “me’alemim alumim” to “kama alumati vegam nitzavah,” from the shock and paralysis we experienced at the beginning of this war, to regaining our strength and confidence, we must avoid the awful sights that will only paralyze us further. 

 

More generally, we must resist the temptation to be glued to our devices, following the developments.  Certainly, it is important to stay informed.  It is important for us to know what is happening.  But we do not need to be checking the news every ten minutes, or even hourly.  This is not productive, and, even worse, it can be destructive.  It can paralyze us and crush our spirits. 

 

Imagine one of our beloved IDF soldiers is in the middle of an intense battle, and he decides to pause every ten minutes to check his phone to get the latest news.  This would obviously be terribly irresponsible, and perhaps grounds for being court-martialed.  We, too, are in the battlefield.  We of course aren’t doing the actual fighting on the ground, but we all have a role to play.  We are helping Am Yisrael during this crisis through our mitzvot, our Torah learning, our Tehillim, our prayers, our hesed, our charity, and our efforts to grow.  Watching the news accomplishes none of these goals.  It diverts our attention away from what we need to be doing, and also saps us of the emotional energy we need to get things done.  We need to curb this urge and direct our minds toward the important, valuable activities that we ought to spend our time involved in.  We, too, are “soldiers” in this war.   

 

“I Know Their Pain” 

 

Instead of focusing our attention on the scope of the horror and the atrocities perpetrated against our people, let us focus instead on the reasons for hope for the future. 

 

When Gd spoke to Moshe for the first time, at the burning bush, He informed Moshe that He would soon be redeeming Beneh Yisrael from Egypt.  He began by saying, “I have seen the torment of My nation that is in Egypt, and I have heard their cries…and I have indeed known their pain” (Shemot 3:7).  We might wonder what is added by the final clause in this verse – “ki yadati et mach’ovav – I have indeed known their pain.”  If Gd has “seen the torment” and “heard their cries,” then He certainly “knows their pain.”  What, then, did He mean when spoke of “knowing” the pain they were enduring? 

 

The answer emerges from an analogy to a father who brings his ailing son to the doctor for a critically important but exceedingly painful procedure.  During the procedure, the boy cries out in pain.  The father finds it very difficult to see his beloved child’s pain, but he realizes that the procedure must be done.  But after hearing the boy cry frantically for an extended period of time, the father can no longer take it.  He tells the doctor to stop.  He just can’t bear to see his precious child suffer so terribly. 

 

Gd had informed Avraham Avinu that his descendants would be oppressed for 400 years (Beresheet 15:13).  However, after just 210 years, He said, as it were, “I can’t take it anymore!”  For reasons we cannot understand, Gd determined that Beneh Yisrael needed to endure a 400-year period of oppression, to prepare them for the mission that they were assigned to fulfill.  But after 210 years, He “knew their pain.”  It was too much for Him to bear, so-to-speak.  We are Hashem’s beloved children, and He feels our pain.  Our suffering is His suffering, and so at a certain pain, He is compelled, as it were, to end it. 

 

Now, too, Gd has brought us onto the “operating table,” having determined that we need to undergo a difficult “procedure.”  But we can draw comfort from our firm belief that Gd feels every bit of pain that has been suffered.  The grief is incalculable – grief over every precious life that was so cruelly taken, for every family that has been destroyed, for every community that has been burned to the ground – but we know that our Father is grieving along with us.  We are confident that He cannot handle this intolerable pain any more than we can, that He cannot bear to see His cherished children suffer.  And so we can rest assured that He will soon take us off the “operating table,” and alleviate our pain and suffering. 

 

The tragedies and crisis which have befallen us had the effect of “me’alemim alumim,” of paralyzing us, but let us ensure not to get stuck in our paralysis.  We have the power to rise from the depths of sorrow and despair.  And this process begins with firm, steadfast emunah in Hashem’s boundless love for His people, and the realization that He cannot bear to see us writhing in pain.  Just as He stepped in to redeem our ancestors from Egypt, may He soon step in to redeem us from our current troubles, and bring us Mashiah speedily and in our times, amen