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M&S Summer Softball League Gears Up for an Exciting 2024 Season

Sam J. Sutton 

As the days grow longer and the summer sun starts to warm the fields, anticipation is building for the 2024 M&S Summer Softball season. Now entering its 17th year, the league has become a staple in the community, offering fierce competition and camaraderie to players and fans alike.  

Seven teams will compete for the ultimate prize, the M&S Cup. Let’s delve into each team, their captains, and what fans can expect. 

The Final Battle 

Captained by league legend Teddy Ishak, The Final Battle is looking to claim the title with a combination of veteran leadership and youthful energy. Ishak, known for his strategic prowess and ability to rally his team, has a reputation for crafting lineups that thrive under pressure. With Ishak at the helm, fans can be sure this team will fight until the final out. 

The Predators 

Michael Sabon Salomon, a Hall of Fame player, returns to lead The Predators. Known for his tactical mind and relentless pursuit of excellence, Salomon is eager to guide his team back to glory. The Predators’ fierce competitiveness and tactical discipline make them a formidable opponent for any team. Sabon’s presence alone instills confidence and drive, and his team will be looking to him for leadership throughout the season. 

Sarah’s Kibbes 

After a tough World Series loss last year, Gabe Abadi returns as captain of Sarah’s Kibbes, determined to secure the championship this time around. Abadi, a skilled strategist, has a knack for assembling cohesive units capable of delivering under pressure. With last season’s heartbreak still fresh, Sarah’s Kibbes is poised to channel their hunger for victory into a focused and resilient campaign. 

Resilience 

Multi-time champion and star shortstop Steven J. Gindi leads Resilience into the season with the aim of reclaiming the crown. Gindi’s championship pedigree and leadership make him one of the most respected captains in the league. Resilience is known for its mental toughness and adaptability, traits that often give them an edge in crucial moments. Fans are eager to see if they can live up to their name once more this season. 

Dawg Pound 

Uri Adler steps into the captain’s role for the first time with Dawg Pound. Despite being a rookie captain, Adler brings infectious enthusiasm and a fresh perspective to the league. He is determined to make a strong impression this season. Dawg Pound will aim to combine raw energy with Adler’s strategic vision to make a memorable run. 

IDF 

The Phenom, Edmund Beyda, is another first-time captain, of the IDF. His extraordinary presence on the mound and natural leadership have earned him the nickname “The Phenom,” and expectations are high for this team. Beyda’s ability to inspire his teammates and deliver clutch performances makes IDF a legitimate contender. 

Bleacher Creatures 

League veteran Sammy Esses returns to captain the Bleacher Creatures. Known for his strategic game planning and unwavering dedication, Esses has a reputation for rallying his troops and extracting the best out of his players. The Bleacher Creatures have a loyal fan base and are looking to make a deep playoff run this season under Esses’ guidance. 

Conclusion 

The 2024 M&S Summer Softball season promises to be one for the ages. With a mix of returning legends and fresh faces, the league is set for thrilling matchups and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s the legendary leadership of Teddy Ishak and Michael Sabon Salomon, the determined resilience of Gabe Abadi, or the fresh excitement brought by Uri Adler, each team has a unique story to tell. 

Get ready to dust off your jerseys and grab your sunscreen as the teams prepare to battle for the ultimate prize. The competition is fierce, the stakes are high, and the memories waiting to be made are countless. 

Let’s play ball! 

Sailing Relationships with R’ Ali

QUESTION:  

Dear Rabbi Ali, 

I would appreciate some advice regarding my marriage. My wife and I have a great relationship and a wonderful family. However, we have one disagreement that brings so much frustration to the marriage.  

Holiday time is very tense. She doesn’t like going to my parents or
siblings for the holidays, and wants to go only to her family. It becomes a fight every
holiday and it would be great if you could give me a solution.  

Thank you in advance. 

R’ ALI’S RESPONSE: 

I will try, with Hashem’s help, to give you some ideas that work for many people I counsel who are in a similar situation. I assume from your question that during the year your relationship is great and that arguments and fights are not a constant in your home. That is something to be grateful for, as there are many couples who would love to say that things are great.  

The following is a very successful formula. It will take some patience and persistence but is well worth the effort. 

The first thing you should do is to discuss the holiday issue when it is a non-issue. With most disagreements, we debate the issue when it comes up. Of course, we can’t predict when a disagreement will come up, however when an issue is ongoing disagreements are predictable.  

Discussing the issue when things are tense will not help. When you do address the issue, make sure it is an opportune time to talk about something serious. A good opportunity could be when you are on an outing or a walk, or when your spouse is in a good mood. Sometimes people get frustrated when their spouse brings up an issue when the issue is not current. Another thing that people do not like is the infamous line, “We need to talk.” Do not say that, instead, just say let’s go out and relax. 

The last part, which is the most important, is how you bring it up. Mention how you know she doesn’t mean any harm by not going to your parents and you do realize how hard it is. You can even give some examples to show you understand why she feels she does not want to go to your family members. Some people tell me that they find this part very hard. They just feel like saying, “Is it so hard for you to do something for me?!”  Please understand, just because something may be easy for you, does not make it easy for someone else. We will never be able to fully comprehend how hard or easy something is for another. This is the true meaning of not judging people until you are in their shoes. We should never say, “It should not be hard for you.” That is not incorrect and shows a lack of sensitivity.
 

After your introduction, you can mention to your wife how it would mean so much to you if she went to your parents for a meal or for a holiday. Ask her if she would at least think it over. By doing this, she feels heard and understood and will be more inclined to go to your side for the holidays. When people feel heard they feel free and invigorated. Also, by putting the ball in her court you are accomplishing something else. By doing so, she will not feel controlled or forced. No one likes that feeling, even if they are not told directly, “You must do what I want.”
 

If she does come back with some type of compromise, let her know how much that means to you and how grateful you are. We tend to think that children are the ones who thrive on positive reinforcement. The truth is, all human beings thrive on positive reinforcement. When your wife hears how you are appreciative, she will be most probably be happy to go and will likely want to go again.  

I know it’s a lot of steps, however, this way of communicating is proven to work. You may need some guidance how to approach the subject properly or how to come up with a “Plan B” in the event that she says absolutely not.  

To conclude, fighting over the situation should be ruled out as an “option” or as a “Plan B.” Many times, we just do what feels natural due to a lack of other options. Do not fall into that trap. And as I tell all of my clients, do not forget to pray to Hashem for assistance with your marriage, as we do with every other aspect of our lives.

Is It A Sign from Hashem?

If a person tries to do something good but obstacles come in the way, he should not interpret this to mean that Hashem wants him to stop. We do not know how to interpret “signs.” Our job is to try our hardest to do what is correct, and make every effort to surmount any obstacles that we confront along the way. For all we know, Hashem may have placed the obstacles in our way for the precise opposite reason: so we can earn more reward by having to invest extra effort to overcome the hurdles. Only after one has tried his hardest, there is nothing left to do, and he sees his efforts did not succeed, should he then conclude that Hashem, in His infinite wisdom, felt that this undertaking should not work out, and he should accept Hashem’s will joyfully.

For example, if a person wakes up early to pray with a minyan, but when he goes outside he sees his car is blocked, he should not say, “I guess Hashem does not want me to go to shul this morning, so I won’t go.” Instead, he should explore other ways of getting to shul. For all he knows, Hashem may have decided to present this challenge so he can overcome it and his prayers will then be especially powerful, and that day he needs a powerful tefillah. If, however, one made every effort to get to shul, but through circumstances beyond his control he missed the minyan, then he should accept the facts that Hashem, for whatever reason, did not want him to pray with a minyan that day.

This lesson applies to many different areas in life. We do not know how to read “signs,” and we should not even try. We should always just make our best effort to do what is right.

One area in which this lesson is especially relevant and important is shidduchim. Sometimes the road is bumpy and laden with large obstacles. When things do not work out immediately, one should not rush to decide that Hashem does not want the shidduch to come to be. Instead, he or she should try to do what seems to be in his best interests, and only if all efforts fail can it be conclusively determined that Hashem did not want this shidduch to work.

In the Torah, we find two stories of shidduchim: one which was completed very quickly and smoothly, and another which was plagued by hardship before working out for the best. And both were quite clearly Hashem’s will. In Parashat Chayei Sarah, we read that Avraham sent Eliezer to find a match for Yitzhak. Avraham did not give any detailed instructions, saying only that Eliezer should go to Avraham’s homeland and find a girl. We might have expected this to be a difficult process, with so little information to work with, but in a matter of several hours the right girl was found and the shidduch was finalized.

Later, in Parashat Vayeitze, we read that Yaakov Avinu’s parents sent him to Paran Aram with very detailed instructions, telling him to marry one of Lavan’s daughters. It looked like it would be a very simple and straightforward process, but in the end seven years passed until Yaakov was able to marry, and even then he was given Leah, and not the daughter he preferred to wed. At that point, we might have expected him to say to himself, Look, what can I do? It must be that Hashem does not want me to marry Rachel. But this is not how he approached the situation. He persisted, doing what he thought was the right thing, and ultimately married Rachel. As it turned out, these obstacles that had to be overcome are what enabled Yaakov and Rachel to have children together. Our sages teach that Rachel was physically incapable of conceiving, but Hashem gave her the ability to bear children in reward for her giving the signals to Leah before her wedding to Yaakov, to spare her embarrassment. It was specifically because of the difficulties they confronted that the shidduch worked out as well as it did.

Hot Tech: The Coolest Gadgets of Summer 2024

As the mercury rises, so does the caliber of high-tech innovations. From fashionable camera glasses to AI-powered home assistants, we’ve got the scoop on the gadgets that will make your summer smarter. 

 

Ray-Ban Stories Camera Glasses
These stylish sunglasses aren’t just for fashion; they’re your ticket to capturing life’s most epic moments in stunning detail. With built-in cameras and hands-free operation, you can easily document your adventures and share them instantly.  

 

Shibumi Shade Beach Tent 

The Shibumi shade beach tent is lightweight and floats in the breeze, ensuring it will not break or fly away. And it provides UPF 50+ protection. It provides a safe shelter from the sun when you’re not in the water.  

 

Ooni Koda 2 Max Gas-Powered Pizza Oven 

Enjoy summer pizza nights with the Ooni Koda 2 Max gas-powered pizza oven. It flaunts a 24″ cooking area and is suitable for baking large pizzas or cooking foods side-by-side. 

 

ProShot Dive Case & Red Filter 

Take your iPhone beneath the waves for underwater photography with the ProShot Dive Case & Red Filter. With a universal iPhone case and a red filter pack, the kit is sure to enhance your summer underwater fun. 

 

Weatherman Collapsible Umbrella 

This collapsible umbrella by Weatherman is engineered to withstand wind gusts up to 55 mph. It also has a quick-drying, water-repellent fabric canopy (available in many colors).. 

 

GoPro HERO12 Black Waterproof Action Camera 

The HERO12 Black by GoPro is compact, easy to operate, and full of connectivity features. It can capture incredibly smooth 5.3K video that’s sharper than 4K and 27MP still images. It can go up to 33 feet underwater without a protective case. 

 

AI Ballie Rolling Robot 

Samsung’s new AI Ballie robot has a built-in projector that can display content while it rolls. The advanced AI in Ballie can greet you at the door or come to you when called. And it can project content when asked. It has built-in front and rear cameras to detect and analyze its surroundings and can even learn recurring user patterns to automate various functions. 

 

Bird Buddy 

Bird Buddy is a bird feeder that uses artificial intelligence to identify which species of birds are visiting. It can provide a live video feed using the camera inside the feeder so you can watch for yourself and save clips and images of the visiting avians.

Once Upon a Thyme – Candied Street Pecans

Have you ever passed those street carts with heavenly smelling candied nuts and wanted to try some?  These pecans are a great snack on their own, and a perfect topping for ice cream or even salads. The trick to achieving the crisp candy coating in this recipe is whipping the egg whites to a complete foam before folding in the remaining ingredients. To properly whip the egg whites, be sure to start with a super clean bowl with no traces of egg yolk because even a drop of fat can hinder the whipping process. Pecans can be swapped for any nut of your choice. Whether you make candied cashews, candied walnuts, or candied almonds, everyone will be coming back for more! 

 

 

2 egg whites 

½ cup brown sugar 

½ cup sugar 

1 tbsp pure vanilla extract  

1 tbsp cinnamon  

5 cups raw pecans 

 

  1. In a medium bowl, add sugars, cinnamon, and salt. Whisk until combined. Set aside. 
  1. In a large bowl, whisk the egg white, vanilla, and water together until frothy. Add the pecans and gently toss until the pecans are well coated. Add the sugar and cinnamon mixture and toss until pecans are covered. 
  1. Spread the pecans out in a single layer on prepared baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for about 30-45 minutes, stirring every 15 minutes. The sugar mixture will harden on the pecans. 

 

Recipe, photo and styling by Adina Yaakov, Registered Dietitian Nutritionist. For more recipes visit www.OnceUponAThyme.Co 

 

NEW! Questions or comments? Have a request or idea for future recipes? Want to share a photo of a recipe you’ve made from this recipe column? Email us at  info@onceuponathyme.co  

One on One with Elyse Nadjar

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

 

I don’t dwell on the idea of whether I was successful. I look at each day as a new opportunity to 

succeed. I constantly review what worked well and what didn’t and try to push myself past my comfort zone. 

Sometimes that works well and sometimes it doesn’t, but I don’t let the ‘failures’ defeat me.”  

~~ Elyse ~~ 

 

Please meet Elyse Nadjar, the Director of Student Activities and Judaic Studies teacher at Hillel Yeshiva High School. Elyse is a spiritual, passionate, mindful, and committed educator who has devoted over twenty years to teaching Jewish youth in Brooklyn, Deal, and abroad. 

Elyse was born in Brooklyn, to Elizabeth and Morris Nadjar and is the youngest of four children.  

Morris, a”h, was born in the U.S. and unfortunately passed away 13 years ago. His parents were from Aleppo, Syria.  Elizabeth’s grandfather came from Syria, and she was born in Egypt and emigrated to the States where she met Morris. “We are all close,” Elyse said.  “I worked with my sister, Esther Tokayer, at Magen David Yeshiva High School before our careers took us to different schools.” 

Morris was a significant role model for Elyse and helped shape the woman she became. “I am my father’s daughter in how I approach learning and community      service. Dad was involved with numerous synagogues and the JCH in Bensonhurst, which I passed every day while working at MDY.” 

Elizabeth, a great ba’alat hesed, taught Elyse about the importance of family.  She is the one who both sides of her parent’s families relied upon in times of health crises and is the person everyone leans on for support. 

Elizabeth also worked as a translator for NYANA for Jewish refugees coming from Syria in the nineties.  “I remember she tutored a man who had been a doctor in Syria and was desperate to learn enough English to pass his boards in the United States,” Elyse recalled. 

 Elyse also followed in her sister Esther’s footsteps in teaching and traveling the world to educate Jewish youth.  

 

School Days  

Elyse Attended a small elementary school, Yeshiva Rambam. She was the only one from her grade to move on to Yeshiva of Flatbush for high school.  Although it was intimidating at first, Elyse was grateful to her classmates for their welcoming attitude and open demeanor. 

Although Elyse was usually bored with school she always did well and was a good student.  “I was pretty shy, and still am to a degree.” Elyse was valedictorian at Rambam and was in the honors class in high school.   She participated in meaningful school activities such as Yachad, which engages people with disabilities.   

What Elyse valued and remembers most about school were the relationships she formed with her teachers.  “I learned more from their interactions with us as people than from what they taught from the books we used in class.”  

One example Elyse shared was about her Israeli 11th grade rav.  She remembers clearly how her rav explained during lunch the significance of the Oslo Accords that were being signed.  PLO Chairman Yassar Arafat kept adjusting his keffiyeh during his speech.  She did not know of the apocryphal story among many Palestinians that Arafat folded his head covering in a way that reminded him of the Dome of the Rock in Jerusalem, and let the side panel drape in a way that resembled the historic map of Palestine. Elyse’s rav explained to the students that Arafat’s goal was to take over all of Israel. 

 

Her Essence 

Elyse described herself as strong, independent, sensitive, and creative.  As we follow Elyse on her life journey, you will see these attributes shine through.  

 

Professional Trajectory 

After high school, Elyse enrolled in Brooklyn College. She majored in English, doing office work in Magen David Yeshiva three days a week and studying at college two days.  Why English?  She really enjoyed it! Why work at MDY part time? Her sister Esther recommended her for the job. 

During college Elyse took in a class on non-Western civilizations. Her professor surprisingly gave the students a world map showing Tel Aviv as the capital of Israel with Jerusalem marked as the capital of Palestine.  She approached him privately about the error and he backed down.  

When the term was over, Elyse followed up by reporting this incident to the Judaic Studies chair and to Rabbi Yotav Eliach from Yeshiva of Flatbush. 

With the current unrest and pro-Palestinian protests, Elyse hopes our youth will have the strength, ability, and knowledge to combat the growing anti-Israel sentiments and the anti-Semitism that is raging across college campuses. 

 

MDY 

Elyse started as a secretary, and after college she began teaching Judaic Studies and working with the Judaic Studies principal.  A change in administration resulted in a new position as Hesed Coordinator, and Elyse rose to the challenge. She eventually became the Assistant Director and then Director of the Scholars program.   

During her 20 years at MDY, Elyse led students on the Heritage Trip to Poland for a decade, spearheaded the Yom Hazikaron programs, and much more.  When former Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit (kidnapped and released after five years in captivity in Gaza) and his IDF unit visited the U.S., Elyse worked with Dr. Hadar and the community to fund trauma therapy in the United States and have panel discussions at yeshivot, including MDY. 

Elyse also traveled to Australia, Winnipeg, Canada, and Turkey to teach young students about their Jewish identity.  “My passion for learning and sharing what I discover has opened up many opportunities.” 

Elyse’s inspiration for traveling abroad to work as a Jewish educator came from her sister Esther, who journeyed to Russia when the Iron Curtain came down, to help preserve Jewish identity and continuity. 

 

Why High School Students? 

Elyse recognizes that high school students are on the cusp of adulthood and she sees with amazement how they change between 9th to 12th grade. “I’m grateful to have a small impact on my students during this time of growth.” 

Around 18 months ago, Elyse decided to spread her wings and take a position at Hillel Yeshiva.  

“There was an opening at Hillel Yeshiva in NJ and I applied. Meshaneh makom, meshaneh mazal, change your place, change your luck.” 

Elyse views the change as a personal accomplishment.  “Making the move from MDY to Hillel was a tough decision. However, I am proud to continue to serve the community that I grew up in while also buying my own home.” 

 

Passions 

Elyse is impassioned about Israel and about rejoicing in the gifts Hashem has given us. She is also fervent about providing her students with tools for their personal development, such as exercises in developing their own self-awareness to enable them to continually grow as individuals. 

 

Cultivating Tolerance  

Elyse believes we all need a healthy dose of tolerance in our lives given the abundance of judgmental attitudes and polarization that is detrimental to our personal set of values. 

Most importantly, Elyse respects that kids have a mind of their own and a unique way of looking at the world. “I truly enjoy seeing them develop their outlooks and challenging them to add different lenses, especially a Torah lens that creates a balance of ben adam l’makom and ben adam l’haveiro.” 

 

 Keeping Work Exciting and Challenging 

It’s never the same day when you work in a high school. The different programs provided to diverse groups keep her job exciting and challenging.  “I am happy when a program turns out successful, a lesson goes well, or if I help an individual student determine how to deal with a problem or create a plan for a goal they have set,” Elyse said. 

Examples of programs include those that are pure fun like the girls overnight with classmates and teachers, weekend seminars, pathfinders, and cantata (musical and art projects). 

In recruiting a former student’s son to the Scholars Program at MDY, Elyse was touched to hear that the mother was considering MDY because of her memories of Elyse.  “After 15 years, she said she remembered that I had cared about each and every student.”  

 

Community  

Elyse’s focus and passion for Jewish education exemplify her commitment to community. 

She recently moved to Tom’s River, NJ, a 25-minute drive to Hillel, and is enjoying her new community. 

 

 Downtime 

Elyse views her work-life balance as a work in progress. She is renovating her new home and is always learning how to get everything done and keep everyone happy while taking care of her own needs. 

To unwind, Elyse enjoys creative pursuits including writing, needlepoint, and crocheting.  She intends to return to her Pilates and yoga classes.  

 

What’s Next 

Next year, Elyse wants to focus more on teaching and educational programming. She looks forward to developing her role at Hillel into the best fit.  Elyse is grateful to have worked with the most talented and supportive individuals in the field of education. 

 

Career Advice  

Elyse encourages students to explore and incorporate their passions into their career choices. 

“Don’t be afraid to fail or be challenged. Your greatest accomplishments often emerge when dealing with setbacks,” she advises. 

 

Parting Message 

“The world has changed since October 7th.  The ahdut, unity, that has developed among Jews is a tremendous inspiration. I hope we can maintain it beyond the moment of threat/danger, and continue to support each other.” 

 Please contact Elyse at enadjar@hillelyeshiva.org. 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Vice-President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com(www.lifecoachellen.com). 

Focus Education – An Innovative Solution to the College Problem

Victor Cohen 

These days, post-high school education is facing numerous challenges. Unfortunately, secular colleges may  promote things that run counter to our community’s values, not to mention the dramatic upsurge of anti-Semitism on college campuses. As well, time spent in college can take away from time spent on making a living. Even working at a part-time job can make for a tough juggling act. Focus Education, however, offers an innovative program that solves these issues. While Focus strives to ensure that its students get a quality, college-accredited education, it also allows students to hold down a job. This program was formed with our community in mind, and is built to serve our post-high school students’ needs, all in record time. 

The Aim of Focus 

Focus opened its doors in September 2023 in partnership with Touro University, which has over half a century of experience in the world of education. After three semesters, Focus has enjoyed great success both in terms of their thriving current students and the great interest among potential students. Due to this interest, enrollment for Fall 2024 has tripled. Focus plans to grow its course offerings and different tracks, as well as to expand its programming to accommodate women as well as men.  

The Focus mission is to “fill a growing need in our community for quality business and career education in a time-efficient manner and in an environment free of various distractions present in most universities today, which are not aligned with our community’s core beliefs and values.” Students can earn their associate degree within 12-18 months. Usually, an associate degree typically takes a typical college student two years to complete, and much longer if he or she is studying part-time while working. At Focus, most students work full-time, and they finish faster than typical college students, putting them in a prime position to lead thriving careers. 

Location 

Focus is located right in the heart of our Brooklyn community at 2002 Avenue J, and operates out of a state-of-the art learning facility. The location and the high- level facility play a large part in Focus’s success. The location gives its students much-needed convenience by simply being close to home and to what they need. Having just graduated college, I can attest to the need for close proximity to synagogues and kosher food. Focus has that built-in. 

The Education 

Focus provides courses in various relevant areas and industries. Courses are offered in the morning, afternoon, and evening to fit with students’ schedules. Currently, Focus covers more than ten different professions, and they plan on expanding their learning options. Focus offers programs in Marketing, Finance,, Accounting, Digital Multimedia, JAVA Programming, Cybersecurity and Network, Real Estate, Cybersecurity, Sonography, Para Legal, Education and Management. Here is what their website says about their management program: 

With a concentration in Management, you’ll learn the problem-solving skills that are necessary in a business environment… Your concentration courses, combined with the core requirements, will offer you a broad exposure to, and sound foundation in, general business principles and practices. 

Focus offers ultimate flexibility, accommodating students regardless of how much time they want to spend in school. While students can handle the typical four-year program, they also have options to simply take those courses that both interest them and will prepare them for the future. The prerequisites and general education courses that are compulsory at many colleges are not required at Focus. 

Tailor-Made for Our Community 

Focus is closed on all Jewish holidays, unlike secular colleges. The school also assists in securing internships and jobs both during and upon graduation, allowing those who do not have a job going in to leave with one. Also, students’ credits from post-high school yeshiva, including yeshivas in Israel, can be counted towards your degree.  

Focus offers a highly important program for our times. With secular colleges turning more hostile towards our way of life, Focus stands apart as a community-oriented way to get your degree. To learn more about this exciting new program, and to find out if is right for you, or for your son or daughter, please contact Focus Education to request more information: (718) 426-5040 / info@focuseducation.us or www.focuseducation.us. 

Dear Jido – June 2024

Dear Jido, 

We recently invited my aging mother-in-law to come live with us. We have noticed enough signs of mental decline that we were worried about letting her live on her own. This was a compromise I struck with my wife after I initially suggested sending her to a nursing home. Well, my wife did all the communication with her, so imagine my surprise when she casually asked when we would be giving up our dog! 

Apparently, my wife promised her we would rehome our well-trained dog (which we have owned for 12 years), and she just “forgot” to tell me. I am furious at everyone involved, but my mother-in-law refuses to live in the house with a dog. She says she will live on her own, and neither my wife nor I think that is a good idea. 

My wife is now pushing for us to rehome the dog “for a little while,” but I just know “a little while” will turn into “forever.” She is calling me cold and uncaring toward her mother. 

Is there any way I can salvage my marriage, my relationship with my mother-in-law, and my beloved pet? 

Signed, 

Pet Peeve 

 

Dear Peeve, 

Your question raises several important points: 

  1. Pets are special – especially dogs. They’re loyal, non-judgmental, fun to play with, and cuddly. After many years, they even seem like part of the family. But really, they’re not. They’re pets.  
  1. Your wife is fulfilling one of the most important commandments of the Torah – honoring her mother. It’s generally not easy to take care of an aging parent. However, our rabbis tell us that having an “old woman” in the house is a blessing. 
  1. There is almost an “exception” to this commandment though. Once a woman gets married, her first loyalty is to her husband. If taking care of her parents gets in the way of her total devotion to her husband, however you define that, then her responsibility to her husband comes first. 
  1. Finally, the most important point of all – the husband is ultimately responsible for maintaining shalom bayit. 

Is it possible that your wife stepped over the line by making you give up your pet so that her mother could live with you? Possibly.   

In the interim, your pet will be taken good care of until it comes back home to you all the while your mother-in-law is receiving loving care from her daughter. As they say, it’s a moment in time.  

Your job is to make your mother-in-law feel welcome, to praise your wife every day for performing this act of selflessness, and when you have time, to visit your pet in its temporary new home.  

It’s ruff, but it’s up to you.  

Jido

What Is Occupational Therapy?

Carolyn Orfahli 

A grandmother may have a finger that’s “clicking” painfully every time she rolls out her yebra.  

An adorable baby may not be able to sit up to enjoy the instruments at “mommy and me.”  

A bride may need a custom-made brace to hold her broken wrist in place so no one can tell – “I thought it was a statement piece to match the dress.”  

Occupational Therapy (OT) helps people gain independence in their activities of daily living (ADLs) or occupations. Just like our roles and expectations change as we age, OT changes across the lifespan. 

Beginning in infancy, occupations include feeding, playing, etc. Infants need to progress through gross motor milestones (rolling, sitting, etc.) and fine motor milestones (pincer grasp, clapping) to advance development. Toddlers are expected to play nicely across different settings with their family and peers. Preschoolers follow along in circle time, can do basic crafts, and perform basic self-care. As school- aged children grow, their independence slowly increases as they progress in their abilities for dressing, self-care, writing, attention, etc. As a person grows into adulthood, their occupations change drastically to include maintaining a household, succeeding in a career, and taking care of children.  

OT helps individuals overcome challenges they may have in completing any of their daily life skills and school/work skills. Success in these areas leads to their personal fulfillment and success. 

Challenges may include minor developmental delays in infancy, sensory processing/emotional regulation difficulties, upper body/hand weakness, executive dysfunction, writing difficulties, and challenges that are a result of old age, which are treated with or without a diagnosis. Diagnoses can be developmental (born with it) or arise anytime across the lifespan or after an injury, and common diagnoses depend on the setting and age of the clients. At the end of the day, the diagnosis addresses a cluster of symptoms, which dictate expectations and precautions, and guide OT treatment plans.  

Most commonly, OTs work with various developmental, orthopedic, and neurological diagnoses, which can  include autism, ADHD, arthritis, fractures, carpal tunnel syndrome, cerebral palsy, stroke, traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury, Down syndrome, and burns. 

Therefore, OTs are well-known for collaborating with various medical professionals from different disciplines, such as pediatricians, orthopedic surgeons, neurologists, psychologists, teachers, paraprofessionals, speech therapists, physical therapists, and behavior therapists. 

What Is the Process of OT? 

OT begins with an evaluation, including an intake to record the client’s medical information and their concerns. Standardized assessments differ depending on a client’s needs/age, and on unstructured observations. Assessments are scored to determine deficits or delays. Then, OTs skillfully analyze the information/data to create client-centered functional goals to guide treatment sessions. Sessions include use of therapeutic exercises/activities, sensory processing techniques, muscle reeducation, therapeutic taping, custom-made splinting (braces for injuries or to increase functional use), and ADL training (feeding, dressing, self-care/hygiene). Each treatment session is unique and is motivating for the client, to challenge them in a safe environment. When clients meet their goals and carry their success over to their daily lives, they are discharged.  

Where Do OTs Work? 

Pediatric OTs work across various settings such as at an NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), in a hospital at a patient’s bedside or at hospital-based clinics, and at early intervention programs, schools, or sensory gyms. Adult OTs also work in many different settings such as hospital ICUs, inpatient rehabilitation, skilled nursing homes, outpatient clinics, home health programs, and even in prisons.  

The Many Hats of an OT 

OT is a versatile field. OTs work with clients of all ages and abilities. In the eyes of the clients, an OT is seen as a healer, a teacher, an advocate, and a trainer. Most OTs go by their first name because no matter what setting or age group they work with, they are always working with each client – that is, they are not just giving directions or prescriptions, they are working together with their clients.

Riddles – June 2024

RIDDLES

RIDDLE: Word Quest
Submitted by: Elliot M.

A word I know, six letters it contains. Remove one letter, and 12 remain. What is it?

 

Last Month’s Riddle: What Am I?

I sound so cool and people all over the world come again and again to see me. Most people spend years with me – but you can’t be too old or young to come see me, unless you decide to make me part of your career. I can also help make you smarter and wealthier. What am I?

Solution: School!

Solved by:  Morris Kabani, Harry T., Big Mike, Fortune Azrak, H. Soleimani, Karen D., Family Tawil, and The Shmulster.

 

Junior Riddle: Purr-suit of Fitness
Submitted by: Tammy D.

A cat wants to get in better shape. It’s going to start by climbing the stairs. Starting on the fourth floor, the cat climbs up five stories, down seven stories, up six stories, down three stories, and up four stories again. What floor is the cat on?
Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Sleepless in Brooklyn
How is it possible for a person to go seven days without any sleep?

Solution: He only sleeps at night!

Solved by:  H. Soleimani , Esther Saieda, The Big Cheese, Family Tawil, Meir Saieda, and The Shmulster.