Dave Gordon

This past February, six living hostages and the bodies of four Israeli hostages were exchanged for more than 1,100 Palestinian prisoners. One of them is presumed to be Palestinian Khalil Jabarin, who was seventeen in September 2018 when he stabbed and killed a 45-year-old American oleh from New York, Ari Fuld.

Ari’s brother Hillel, 46, said, “Truth is, I think we [our family] all had in the back of our heads that this was a possibility, but I don’t think any of us wanted to face that, so, it’s definitely a punch to the gut.”

An Undoing of Justice

For Hillel Fuld and  Micah Lakin Avni (Micah Hebraicized his last name), who lost his father, Richard Lakin, to a Hamas attack, there is a personal cost to negotiating with terrorists, particularly through prisoner exchange deals – one that reopens wounds, and creates a feeling that justice has been undermined.

They are caught weighing the moral scales between the desire to minimize the suffering of hostages, yet at the price of releasing individuals who may commit further atrocities, thereby undermining long-term security and rewarding terrorism.

Ari Fuld’s killer, Jabarin, came up from behind him on the sidewalk of Harim Mall at the Gush Etzion Junction, just south of Jerusalem, He stabbed Ari in the neck. Ari summoned the energy to chase down his killer, jump over a wall, and shoot him. Jabarin was stopped from attacking Hila Peretz, who only minutes before had served him a falafel from her stand.

“This kid lacked nothing in life,” Hillel Fuld said of Jabarin. “He was not oppressed; he was not occupied. He was living a free life.”

Jabarin, while serving a life sentence in prison, was paid by the Palestinian Authority’s pay-to-slay program, according to Fuld.

At least 59 hostages are still believed held by Hamas. Approximately 200 of those abducted on Oct. 7th have been returned, some alive, others not.

Ari Fuld’s Take on Things

“If Ari were here today, he would be unequivocally against this deal. He spoke about it multiple times, this kind of concept,” said Fuld. “I don’t think our personal tragedy or pain caused by the fact that he’s getting out changes our opinion on the deal, which is that the deal is absolutely terrible and beautiful simultaneously, right?”

Ari had completed his army service. but still volunteered in the IDF. He became leader of his platoon, while also advocating for Israel on social media and at speaking engagements. “Ari was more than an IDF soldier. He was also a staunch, vocal advocate for Israel,” Hillel said, “He spent his days going from base to base, bringing soldiers ice cream and food, just to put a smile on their face.”

On November 7, 2018, the Israel Police posthumously awarded Ari Fuld the Medal of Distinction.

Is Israel Winning the War?

“I think objectively speaking, what Israel has accomplished in this war is unparalleled and unprecedented,” Fuld said, which includes the elimination of the bulk of Hamas and Hezbollah, the Iranian military apparatus, and Syrian defenses.

“And so I don’t think there’s anyone who could say that Israel is not winning this war. The objectives have been very well defined, to remove Hamas from Gaza and from power, and to get our hostages back, neither of which have been accomplished. You can’t say that the war is over and we won the war. We’re in the middle of the war, and it’s a ceasefire,” Hillel said. But he is confident those goals will be reached.

“Ancient Egypt, Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece, [the] Babylonians – we don’t have any of these empires. They’re all gone. And Israel, the people of Israel, remain, and not only do we remain, but we are strong and we are resilient. And so that will be the case with this war. I don’t know how often we actually stop and think about the events that led to our holidays. At Purim, the leader of the world agreed to annihilate the Jews. Do we often stop and think that that was near genocide of the Jewish people? And the same thing for Hanukah and for Passover. So today that will be the case again. We will dance again.”

Prisoner Deals Evoke Mixed Emotions

Despite personal anguish over prisoner releases, both Fuld and Avni acknowledge the mixed emotions of needing to release hostages, at an impossibly high cost.

“I don’t think there’s a single person in Israel who wouldn’t do anything on a personal level to get hostages back. But on the other hand, strategically, it makes no sense to my mind to be letting prisoners out. It shows weakness,” Avni said.

Avni’s fatherwas killed by Hamas member Bilal Abu Ganem, part of the duo who killed three Israeli civilians and injured 15, in a bus attack in Oct. 2015. Abu Ganem was due to be freed in a recent prisoner exchange.

Richard Lakin’s Story

Born in the U.S., Lakin marched with Martin Luther King, and was an activist that helped desegregate schools in Connecticut. He was the principal at Hopewell Elementary School from 1969 until he moved with his family to Israel in 1984. He built an English-as-a-second-language school, teaching Jewish, Christian, and Arab children.

“It was a matter of principle for him. He thought that was the way to bring people together,” said his son.

Lakin was on the way home from a doctor’s appointment in Jerusalem, when there was a wave of Palestinian stabbings. Rather than risk being exposed to an attack on the walk home, he decided to take the bus. Two Hamas terrorists boarded, shooting Lakin and two other civilians, and injuring another 15 people.  

During the terror stabbing spree, police killed one of the attackers on the spot. The second, Abu Ganem, was brought to Hadassah Hospital, together with Lakin. Although the terrorist survived, Lakin, 76, did not.

Indoctrination to Terror

Two days after the attack, Hamas released a re-enactment video, said Avni. “They had actors get on a bus and ‘shoot’ another actor who was playing my father, and one playing a terrorist. They put it out to educate young children how to do terror attacks like that. And it got tens of millions of views,” said Avni.

 “An entire generation of kids grew up watching these movies all day long. Now they’re indoctrinated. It’s a culture of terror and death from kindergarten, summer camps, elementary schools, in high schools, in universities, anywhere children spend time.”

Abu Ganem, a resident of East Jerusalem who held an Israeli residency card, was tried in the District Court in Jerusalem, and sentenced to three life sentences. “He admitted to it, and there was no question that he and the other were both members of Hamas. He expressed zero remorse for what he had done,” said Avni.

A History of Prisoner Exchanges

Avni recalls the first time he expressed how adamantly he was against lopsided hostage deals.

Right after his family moved to Israel, a major prisoner exchange deal took place in May 1985, called the Jibril Agreement. “I remember telling my mother at the time – I was just about to enlist in the army – that if I ever get taken prisoner, don’t exchange any terrorists for me. It’s clear that they’re just going to come back and murder more people.”

The Jibril deal took place between the Israeli government and the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine – General Command. Israel released 1,150 prisoners. In return, Israel received three prisoners captured during the First Lebanon War: Yosef Grof, Nissim Salem, and Hezi Shai.

The deal included the release of several high-profile prisoners including Ahmed Yassin, a Gazan Muslim Brotherhood leader who later became the spiritual leader of Hamas and Ziyad al-Nakhalah, who was serving a life sentence and later became the leader of Palestinian Islamic Jihad.

It set a precedent for future exchanges, including the Gilad Shalit prisoner exchange in 2011, where 1,027 Palestinian and Israeli Arab prisoners were released in exchange for one IDF soldier.

Yahya Sinwar, the mastermind behind the October 7, 2023 Hamas massacre, was released as part of the Shalit exchange. Avni saw this as epitomizing a long line of wrongful thinking amongst Israelis and the country’s elites.

Terrorists Do Not Play by Western rules

Avni said that in the past four decades, he watched Israeli leadership “become enamored with being accepted in the West, in a similar way that I watched lots of my Jewish friends in America trying to play both sides.Hamas are “like the Nazis, pure evil and sometimes it’s hard for the Western mind to grasp this.”

“But there is no reasoning with these people,” Avni said, referring to terrorists. “There is no negotiation. Their end goal is to destroy us, to destroy Israel, and for most of them, to take over the West, as well. So that’s ideological. You have to destroy them before they destroy you.” In the time he ran a finance business with thousands of clients across the Arab world, he noticed that their culture respected strength, and “abused weakness,” and he believes the time has come for Israel and her allies to be “strong handed with terrorists.”

Inventions are the ingenious gadgets and machines that have made our lives a little more fun, interesting, and easier. Real inventions are the things that we did not think were possible yesterday, and yet, it would be difficult to live without today. From the tiny paperclip to the massive jet engine, every month we will explore the history behind our world’s most famous inventions and learn about the innovators that designed them.

This month we explore the history behind an invention that most of us likely just take for granted…

The Post-it Note

Post-it Notes are one of the world’s favorite office supplies. Here’s a little fact about those sticky notes that might surprise you – like many of today’s great inventions, they were invented by accident!

In 1968, 3M researcher Dr. Spencer Silver had the job of developing adhesives for 3M. Although his mission was to create a stronger, more reliable adhesive for the aerospace industry, Silver ended up with something else. He created a weak adhesive that could be removed easily without leaving behind a residue. The glue also kept its stickiness when applied with pressure and was reusable. “At the time, we wanted to develop a bigger, tougher adhesive,” Silver said in a later interview. “This was none of those.”

For a number of years, Silver had a solution on his hand looking for a problem. He presented the adhesives at numerous business meetings and proposed their use for bulletin and message boards, but his proposals were rejected.

In Search of a Bookmark

In 1974, fellow 3M scientist, Art Fry, recalled one of Silver’s presentations when seeking out a way to solve a problem he was having with his bookmarks. Fry would use pieces of scrap paper to mark places in his books. However, it seemed like they always fell out. He dreamt up a bookmark that could stick to the pages, but that could also be easily removed without damaging the paper. That’s when Fry remembered the adhesive invention of his colleague. The adhesive would be perfect, he thought, and Fry then started developing the notes using Silver’s adhesive for 3M.

Using Silver’s adhesive, Fry was able to produce reliable and reusable sticky notes, but it became quickly apparent that these sticky papers had much more potential than just bookmarks.

The Color Yellow

Yet, still, one more accident would help shape the future of the Post-it Note. When Fry and his team began developing the product, they could only find yellow scraps of paper to experiment with. The signature Post-it Note yellow of today can be traced back to this “accident.”

After developing the product, 3M released the Post-it Note during a 1977 test run in four cities in the United States. At the time, they were called “Press ’n Peel” notes, and sales were discouraging. Eventually, 3M decided to pull them off the shelves.

The Launch of the Post-it Note

However, in 1979, 3M re-marketed the Press ‘n Peel notes as Post-it Notes. To re-launch the product, 3M gave free samples to offices throughout the Boise, Idaho Metro Area. It was a huge success as more than 90 percent of offices that received a free sample re-ordered them!

And the rest, as they say, is history. 3M released Post-it Notes nationally in 1980, and expanded distribution into Canada and Europe the following year. Since then, Post-it Notes have become a nearly universally-known office supply item, and today, 3M produces and sells more than 50 billion individual notes per year.

Is Yawning Contagious?

Absolutely! It’s one of the body’s most contagious, uncontrollable actions.

In fact, yawning is so contagious that seeing a picture of someone yawning can make you yawn. Not only that, but even reading or writing about yawning can make you yawn! (Are you yawning yet?)

Scientists continue to research the “contagious yawn” phenomenon, but they have yet to discover what exactly causes people to yawn simply because they see another person yawning.

One theory is that yawning may be an unspoken form of communication, and “contagious yawning” is related to empathy (the ability to recognize, understand, and share the feelings of others). People with higher levels of empathy yawn more often when someone else yawns, compared to people with lower levels of empathy or those with emotional disorders.

A recent study discovered that yawns are most contagious among close friends and family members. Apparently, the closer you are to someone genetically or emotionally, the more likely it is that you’ll “catch” his/her yawn. Research has also shown that children under the age of five, as well as older adults, are less likely to yawn in response to somebody else yawning.

What Exactly Is a Yawn?

Everybody yawns on a daily basis, from infants to great-grandparents and everyone in between. But, have you ever wondered what exactly is a yawn?

A yawn is a big intake of air. The mouth and jaw open wide. Through the mouth and nose, there’s a deep inhale, followed by a slow exhale. Sometimes, people close their eyes when they yawn; often they stretch their arms or legs, too. Although we yawn more often when we’re tired or bored, scientists have ruled out sleepiness or lack of oxygen (which would cause sleepiness) as causes for yawning. Then why, exactly, do people and animals yawn?Scientists still do not know for sure, but they do have a few theories.

Animals Yawn Too!

Did you know that dogs, cats, and other animals yawn, too? In fact, nearly all vertebrates, from fish to reptiles to primates, yawn. What’s even more amazing is that research has proven that yawning is contagious among some animals as well. Examples include dogs, chimpanzees, and bonobos. Experiments have shown that dogs will even yawn after a person yawns!

It’s an uncomfortable conversation for many, yet it might just be the single most important conversation people will ever have in their lives: estate and legacy planning. Emanuel Haas and Ari Zaltz of the law firm Haas & Zaltz, LLP are there to help their clients navigate the highly complex and sensitive issues that arise when making decisions that range from long-term care to inheritance distribution.

One of the biggest concerns Haas and Zaltz work to address with their clients is the prospect of needing long-term care as they get older. In fact, they caution that not making appropriate provisions for long-term care is one of the biggest and costliest mistakes families can make, even though it is one that can be easily avoided.

Haas explained that very often an individual receives a diagnosis or experiences a trauma or other type of debilitating incident that creates the need for long-term care. If a plan is not in place, issues can crop up that make navigating this significant life change much more challenging for everyone. But when a plan for long-term care is already in place, it’s much easier for all involved to react with confidence.

“If you ask a random person who they think covers care as they get older, many people will tell you it’s their health insurance. Other people will tell you Medicare. Unfortunately, neither of those answers are true,” explained Zaltz.

“Sometimes a parent needs money and care immediately. If it’s not done properly and you don’t avail yourself of an elder law attorney, you can really get wiped out. A nursing home today is just an unbelievable amount of money,” he cautioned.

Haas and Zaltz advise clients to plan early, as young as 55, and when everyone is still well. “We try to do traditional estate planning but with an added level to make sure that our clients’ assets are protected for themselves, first and foremost, and subsequently for the next generation,” Zaltz said.

Otherwise, chaos can and will surely ensue. Not only will adult children be faced with how to provide long-term care for a parent, but also with the difficult prospect of how to pay for it. If a parent’s care is not being covered by Medicaid, the cost is nothing short of astronomical.

Many people don’t realize that a person only qualifies for Medicaid once his or her wealth has been depleted. Medicare is only available to those 65 and older (and with certain disabilities) and offers very limited benefits for long-term care.

Haas explained that when a person opts to become dependent on Medicaid for long-term care, a lien will be placed on his or her property and possibly any other assets.

“At least in New York, Medicaid cannot force a sale of a home because even if somebody is in a nursing home and will never come back, there is always an ‘intent to return home’ for that individual,” Haas said. Upon that person’s passing, however, Medicaid will recover what it spent on the decedent’s care, typically by selling the property.

Haas and Zaltz explain that in fact, Medicaid can go after any asset someone owns, but by setting up a trust, the home and any other assets placed in the trust will be protected. “Very often the home is the most valuable asset, and in some sense, creating a trust is a really straightforward way of addressing that problem,” Haas said.

Haas and Zaltz advise their clients that if they have assets in their name, which could be as simple as a home, they should place them in certain kinds of asset-protection trusts. That way, if a parent should require care as they get older, they will still immediately qualify for Medicaid and be entitled to government benefits. Upon their passing, the government won’t be able to claw back those assets which the parents may have intended to leave to their children.

A trust allows a person to say they no longer own the home and instead, the home is “owned” by a trust. Although a “trustee” is a nominal owner, it doesn’tactually belong to them, nor are they necessarily the beneficiary of the trust. In a trust, it can be stipulated that the parents maintain the right to live in the home until their passing. If the trust sells the home, possibly because the parents living in the home wish to downsize, the parents can still maintain the right to reside in any residential property owned by the trust.

It is extremely important to note, however, that the person(s) creating the trust must wait a period of 60 months from the time of the transfer in order to become eligible to receive Medicaid.

“The reality is that the seniors who transferred their home to a trust won’t even notice a difference,” Haas said. “They’ll live in a home just the way they always lived. They can move. They can sell the property and buy a different property and have the same right to live there, and nobody will know the difference. The only difference is that the asset will be protected.” To learn more about what you can do to protect your assets for yourself and your children visit www.haaszaltz.com or email them at info@haaszaltz.com. To make an appointment call 718-412-5288.

Rabbi David Sutton & Dr. David Katzenstein, LCSW-R 

We all claim to be ready to die for the sake of Hashem. But are we ready to live for His sake?

Accepting the Yoke of Heaven

In Alei Shur, Vol. II, p. 362, Rav Wolbe discusses how we recite Kriat Shema twice every day and we are mekabel ol Malchut Shamayim,accepting upon ourselves the yoke of Hashem’s Kingship. In so doing, we crown Hashem King over all our limbs and commit to control our eyes, our ears, our mouths, our hands, our feet, our thoughts, and our feelings.

At that time when we accept ol Malchut Shamayim, someone who knows himself well may sense a voice inside that says, “I want to speak lashon hara.” And it’s quite possible that most, if not all, of our senses want to rebel. Not only do we not want to control our mouths, but we don’t want to control our appetites, our eyes, our bad middot. We don’t want to control any number of things that we should be controlling. And that’s when we are being honest. Someone who’s not attuned to his inner thoughts can easily fool himself. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Theory) posits that trying to push away these thoughts only invigorates them.

The Fiery Furnace

The rabbis say we are supposed to imagine a burning furnace, ready to devour us if we don’t refrain from worshiping avodah zarah,just like Avraham Avinu was thrown into a fiery furnace for refusing to do so (and was saved by Divine intervention). When reciting Shema, we are to think that we are ready to jump into that furnace and give up our life rather than worship idols. We are ready to die for the cause! That’s “u’v’chol nafshecha,” serving Hashem with all our soul.

As a young man learning in Yeshivas Mir, Shlomo Wolbe would say Kriat Shema like a good boy, including having in mind that he was willing to die al kiddush Hashem. Then an hour into his first learning seder, instead of learning, he noticed he was discussing nonsense. Four hours is a long time to learn without any chatting! But he said to himself, “Hold on, I’m willing to jump into a fiery furnace, but I’m not willing to learn for four hours straight? Something’s a little off here. Something is a little hypocritical. Something is insincere.”

And the answer is, his kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim was not complete.

Putting Hashem in Control

Rav Yisrael Salanter says, when saying Shema, we can accept Hashem’s Kingdom over the seven heavens and the four corners of the earth — and leave ourselves out! So yes, of course, be prepared to die al kiddush Hashem, but kabbalat ol Malchut Shamayim means putting that yoke on all of those inner forces inside of us, on all of those voices that want to be in control, and putting Hashem in control.

A man was becoming a member of the Communist Party, and his comrades asked him a number of questions.

“If you have two houses, what will you do with them?”

He answered proudly, “One for myself, one for Mother Russia.” One check.

“If you have two airplanes, what will you do?”

“One for myself, one for Mother Russia.” Another check.

“If you have two coats, what will you do?”

“One for myself, one for Mother Russia.” Beautiful.

Then they asked, “If you have two chickens, what will you do?”

He didn’t answer.

Again, they asked, “What if you have two chickens?”

No answer.

Finally, they demanded, “Why aren’t you answering?”

And he said, “Well, I HAVE two chickens…” Which means, of course, we’ll give up that theoretical house, plane, and coat. Which is all wonderful. But that’s in theory. Once we’re talking about practical, as they say, tachlis,then the picture changes. “Yeah, I’ll jump into the fiery furnace. But not telling a little white lie? That’s a whole different story.”

TAKEAWAY

What do we do when we find that darker side inside of us? We have to admit, “Yes, I have those forces inside of myself. I can’t suppress them; they might come out. I have to work them through.” And then, follow through

Victor Cohen

Shabbat observance, as we know, requires abiding by numerous restrictions, many of which are well-known to all those accustomed to observing Shabbat. For example, we are keenly aware of the prohibitions against cooking, kindling a fire, using electronic devices, and even handling certain things which are classified as muktzeh. But one of the Shabbat prohibitions that might not be very familiar to observant Jews in today’s day and age is the prohibition against carrying objects into or through the public domain. Many Jews today live in communities with an erub – a symbolic enclosure that, ostensibly, allows for carrying within the area surrounded by the erub. The community in Deal, NJ is one such community, which benefits from an erub.

Unfortunately, however, many people mistakenly assume that this erub grants unrestricted permission to carry on Shabbat. The truth is that the erub relies on leniencies to permit carrying for health and safety purposes, and does not provide a blanket permission to carry.

To understand how the Deal erub works and which kind of carrying it permits, I had the privilege of interviewing Rabbi Nissim Basala, one of the creators of the Deal erub, who continues to maintain and oversee it even today.

The History of the Deal Erub

The process to build the Deal erub began in 1998. Thanks to the efforts of Rabbi Isaac Dwek, Mr. Jack Adjmi, Solly Dweck, and a number of other individuals, the erub was launched in the summer of 1999. It was expanded several times throughout the years, and now surrounds an area of over 24 square miles, extending into sections of Long Branch, Brighton Avenue, and some parts of West Allenhurst. The erub has been down only on very rare occasions, such as after Hurricane Sandy, which took the erub down for around a year.

Rav Moshe Heineman from Baltimore, one of America’s preeminent halachic scholars, was brought to authorize the erub, and he spent three days walking the entire length of the erub to assure its validity. The erub was inspected also by Rav Avraham Moshe Katzenelbogen, the rabbi who oversees the Jerusalem erub. Rabbi Basala says that he consults with Rav Moshe Heineman’s younger brother, Rav Shmuel Heineman – who runs the Star-K Hechsher in the New York/New Jersey area – with regard to erub-related matters.

The Four Shabbat Domains

Just as maps show different kinds of areas – residential, commercial, public, etc. – halachah similarly recognizes four different domains with respect to the prohibition of carrying on Shabbat:

1. Reshut hayahid – private property, referring to homes and other enclosed properties.
2. Reshut harabim – a public thoroughfare.
3. Karmelit – a public area that does not meet the qualifications of a reshut harabim, because of its size or the relatively little traffic passing through it (see below).
4. Makom patur – a small area such as a fire hydrant or a small ditch in the ground.

Inside a reshut hayahid, of course, carrying is permissible. However, Torah law forbids bringing something from a reshut hayahid into a reshut harabim, or vice-versa – from a reshut harabim into a reshut hayahid. Torah law also forbids carrying within a reshut harabim. Carrying from a reshut hayahid into a karmelit, or from a karmelit into a reshut hayahid, is forbidden miderabbanan – by force of rabbinic enactment. It is similarly forbidden miderabbanan to carry within a karmelit,

An erub is effective in halachically converting a karmelit into a reshut hayahid; the enclosure around the karmelit allows us to regard the enclosed area as a private domain, thereby sidestepping the rabbinic prohibitions against carrying within a karmelit, carrying from a karmelit into a reshut hayahid, and carrying from a reshut hayahid to a karmelit. Once the karmelit has been “downgraded” to a reshut hayahid through erub, all these become permissible.

Significantly, an erub has no effect on a reshut harabim. If an area is halachically defined as a public thoroughfare, then the construction of an erub does not allow carrying on Shabbat within this area, or to or from this area.

Hence, in order to determine whether an erub can be effective in a given area, we must determine whether halachah treats this area as a karmelit or as a reshut harabim.

The Differing Opinions, and Why They Matter

The Shulhan Aruch (Orah Haim 345:7) brings two opinions regarding the definition of a reshut harabim. According to the first opinion, any area that is 25 feet wide or larger qualifies as a reshut harabim. The second opinion, by contrast, maintains that a public area does not qualify as a reshut harabim unless 600,000 people or more pass through it in a day. The question of whether streets in Deal are to be regarded as a reshut harabim or a karmelit – and, by extension, the question of whether an erub is effective in permitting carrying in Deal – hinges on this debate. According to the first view, a large public area qualifies as a reshut harabim, and thus suburban neighborhoods such as Deal, despite their relatively quiet streets and little traffic, must be treated as a reshut harabim, where an erub is ineffective. The second view, however, would allow constructing an erub in places such as Deal that does not see heavy volume passing through them.

In other words: according to the first opinion, bringing a small object outside one’s home in Deal on Shabbat would constitute a Torah violation, just like cooking on Shabbat, despite the erub. According to the second view, this is entirely permissible.

Who is the Erub For?

In light of these differing opinions, Rabbi Basala explained that the Deal erub was erected not to grant a blanket license to carry on Shabbat, but rather for the benefit of those who have a particular need to carry, that justifies relying on the lenient position.

“It was intended for someone, who, let’s say, needs to carry medicine in their pocket,” Rabbi Basala said, “or who need some sort of walker.” By contrast, he clarified, the erub “wasn’t meant to cover people playing basketball.”

Secondly, as Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, writes in a responsum on the subject, “You should build the erub to save people who don’t know they are violating Shabbat.” Many people are unfamiliar with this prohibition, and so an erub should be erected so they are protected from Shabbat desecration, at least according to the lenient view quoted by the Shulhan Aruch.

Thus, the erub was created for people who need it, and to protect people who are unaware of this prohibition. It is not set up for casual carrying.

In fact, Rabbi Basala said that he himself does not use the erub, even though he leads an entire team dedicated to ensuring it is up each week.

The rabbi emphasized the responsibility we all have to familiarize ourselves with the halachot of Shabbat. He noted the well-known comment of the Hafetz Haim (Rav Yisrael Meir Kagan of Radin, 1839-1933), in his Mishnah Berurah, that learning the laws of Shabbat is an indispensable prerequisite to the proper observance of Shabbat. This is relevant also to the prohibition of carrying. One cannot willfully decide to not know about this issue so he can rely on the erub without any restrictions.

Rabbi Basala concluded by emphasizing two other points relevant to the use of the Deal erub.

First, he wishes to remind everybody that the erub does not allow handling muktzeh items, such as an umbrella. Relying on the erub allows carrying permissible objects, not items classified as muktzeh. It is imperative to educate oneself about the topic of muktzeh to know which objects may not be handled under which circumstances.

Secondly, the fact that “Deal has an erub” does not mean that the entire town is encircled by the erub. Those who rely on the erub may do so only after ascertaining that the area where they will carry is indeed included in the erub. Maps are available for this purpose.

All are encouraged to check the status of the Deal erub, and to sign up for the mailing list, at http://www.njerub.org/, where the information is updated weekly. Updates are also available by phone at 732-660-1001.

Yehudit Gindi

You never believed you would make it to the finish line, but here you are, and you’re pretty sure you aren’t dreaming. As you behold the dining room table adorned with your Pesach finest, you realize that you have overcome what once seemed to be a near-impossible feat. After weeks of backbreaking labor, you can relate to those who have climbed to the peak of Everest, for seder night has finally arrived.

At the seder, each person is supposed to feel as if they were redeemed from the harsh slavery of Egypt. For the woman, whose raw hands are a testament to all the sweeping, spraying, sautéing, and scrubbing that she has been up to, this is no problem.  Just as the Jewish people witnessed Hashem’s miracles during the redemption, the Jewish wife and mother experiences Hashem’s miraculous hand in her Pesach preparations each year. So don’t fret. When you find yourself knee-deep in the pre-Pesach pandemonium, rest assured that with the help of these tips, and of course with the ever-present help of Gd, your seder will be spectacular.

Get It All Together

We’ve mentioned it in these pages before, but it is so crucial that it bears repeating: make a list of all the things that you will need on the seder table. Without a written list, the to-dos will be just a big mumbo-jumbo in your mind that will create loads of unnecessary pressure. So put pen to paper and you’ll be off to a successful start. 

Kadesh, Urhatz…

What if you can’t seem to remember exactly what the seder calls for? Well, here’s one way to refresh your memory. When making your “Things for the seder” list, you can either go to Google, or you can take out a Pesach Haggadah. While taking extreme caution to keep it far away from any food, sift through the pages. You’ll probably find a picture of the seder plate and all the significant foods to display, as well as the order of the seder. As you notice items you will need, write them down. (Some key items to remember: haroset, the shank bone, hardboiled eggs, and celery, just to name a few!)

Shulhan Orech

Once all your kosher-for-Pesach dishes have been dusted, washed and dried, you can begin setting your seder table. You’ll want to do this hours before the seder begins so you’re able to walk into the main event relaxed and prepared. An elegant white or ivory tablecloth makes for a stunning backdrop; just be sure to cover it with plastic, since you can expect several grapejuice spills. Rhinestone napkin rings are eye-catching accents, and they will complement all types of silverware. Complete the décor with a nice floral centerpiece, and your table is ready.

So the Children Should Ask

The purpose of the seder is to pique the children’s curiosity so they’ll ask questions and give you the opportunity to fulfill the mitzvah of telling about the Jewish nation’s redemption from Egypt. So, to prevent the kids from falling asleep on top of their marror-filled matzah sandwiches, make the seder kid friendly!  Have incentives ready for children who ask great questions or say the Mah Nishtanah. Bring the Pesach story to life by investing in some bright, colorful Haggadot so the children can follow along. And don’t forget some prizes for he or she who discovers the afikoman!  Before you know it, it will be 2am and your children will be awake singing the “Had Gadya” finale with gusto!

Getting Some Zzz’s…

Speaking of staying awake until 2am, which is likely to happen on seder night, it is a must for your children to take a nap pre-seder. You know how it goes: the kids will resist, but you must insist! This way, the children will be well-rested and ready for loads of fun and learning come seder time. Oh, and moms are allowed to take naps, too! So if you can manage to find even a half-hour, try to squeeze in even a short catnap. The seder is a magnificent time, but putting it all together can sometimes seem like an arduous journey. But you’ll be there soon enough, and you can pat yourself on the back knowing it’s the culmination of all your hard work. When you finally sit down and see the smiling faces of family and guests surrounding you, you’ll know that the hours of effort were well worth it.