Ellen Geller Kamaras

There is a clear  mitzvah in the Torah (Vayikra 19:32) to take care of our elders. “Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your Gd. I am the Lrd.”

Let’s explore the realities facing our older family and community members, and look at how we can fulfill the mitzvah to care for them.

America is graying. The U.S. population is increasingly becoming more dominated by individuals aged 65 and older.

When is someone considered “old”?  We tend to shy away from the label “old” for several reasons. Calling someone old can be considered impolite, as “old” can have negative connotations of weakness or obsolescence.

When Does Old Age Start?

A 2016 Marist Poll surveyed adults, asking if they viewed a 65-year-old as old. Its results were that sixty percent of the youngest respondents, between 18 to 29, said yes.  However, that percentage decreased the older the respondents.  The closer individuals get to 65 themselves, the later they thought old age starts. Only 16 percent of people sixty or older considered 65 old.

Most older adults don’t look at themselves as elderly, yours truly included, as the word “elderly” conjures up an image of frailty.  Some dislike the term “senior” since it singles older adults out as different.

Some say 70 is the new 50. As I approach this milestone, I wholeheartedly agree with this positive view of aging.  I am so grateful to Hashem that I feel like I am only fifty.  I sing Moda Ani every morning, thanking Hashem that I can get out of bed, exercise, and can continue to take classes and learn new skills.

Diverse Experiences, Diverse Challenges

Ina Jaffe, an NPR reporter, says older adults have the most diverse life experiences of any age group. These experiences may include working, exercising at the gym, retiring and traveling the globe, volunteering, raising grandchildren, and unfortunately struggling with chronic disabilities.

Many challenges face our aging population. The top two biggest concerns are financial security and health care expenditures.

In addition to our older adults’ financial needs and health care costs, other serious concerns include loneliness, lost sense of purpose, difficulties with everyday tasks, transportation, disease, elder abuse, financial predators, and adjusting to technological changes.

Let’s Help Our Older Family and Community Members to Plan for the Future

We must partner with our aging parents, friends, and community members to plan for their future, when medical conditions may worsen and their mobility and vision declines.  A top priority is determining where they will live when they retire, or when their health deteriorates.

According to AARP, more than fifty percent of adults turning 65 years old will require long-term support and services in their lifetime.

There are many agencies available to contact for eldercare planning.  AARP, an interest group that focuses on issues affecting those over fifty, is a great place to start.  Another resource is the NYC Department for the Aging, or in New Jersey, the Department of Human Services, Aging Services.

We are so blessed to live in a community that has fabulous and expansive resources for our aging adults. Sephardic Bikur Holim and Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services are family services organizations that can assist with planning for one’s loved ones. They  run many activities for older adults and offer support groups for caregivers.  Sephardic Community Center also provides exciting and meaningful programming.  I led a Finding Your Spark workshop at the SCC before Rosh Hashanah in 2016, for its New Beginnings group for widows.

The Pluses of Socially Engaging Our Older Adults

We must also engage our aging adults. The engagement of our older adults  helps them to age gracefully and to live in a safe, supportive, nurturing, and stimulating environment. If you can play a part in helping older individuals in your life to reimagine their older adulthood and transition as they age, you can increase their life expectancy and mental and physical health.

Providing opportunities for our older/retired adults to learn, grow, reset their daily lives, find new purpose, and share their knowledge and skills is the key to helping them to live longer and stay mentally and physically fit.

Researchers concluded that the aging brain is as capable of learning new things as a younger brain. Socialization is essential for the psychological wellness of older adults.   

Volunteering is a wonderful way for older adults to keep their minds sharp, share their talents, find purpose and connection, and feel useful.  Check out the ENGAGE JEWISH SERVICE CORPS at the JCC where older adults use their passions, skills, and leadership abilities to serve the community.  

Companionship  

As our older adults age, the mental and physical benefits of human connection and companionship grow stronger.  Socially active older adults enjoy many benefits. Companionship is literally good for the heart!  Loneliness and isolation increase the risk for heart disease by 29 percent.  

Older individuals who have a robust social life can look forward to a longer and healthier life, prevention of dementia, loneliness, and depression, faster recovery from injury and illness, fewer falls, and peace of mind for their families. 

Intergenerational Relationships – Win-Win 

Intergenerational relationships can benefit both younger people and older adults.  Older adults can serve as a mentor, provide guidance and life lessons, and can act as a life coach, offering a safe space for younger individuals. On the flip side, an older person can see through a new lens when interacting with a young friend, colleague, or adult relative.

Have you had lunch with your grandparent recently or taken them to a shiur or an event?

How about joining your grandparent for a yoga class?

Or showing them how to install the latest iPhone apps to ensure they can communicate as needed?

A grandparent can be an excellent mentor in reviewing a grandchild’s college application essays or brainstorming other decisions.

Many employers have failed to implement a knowledge transfer/succession plan when boomers retire. Boomers have valuable know-how, information, and skills. They can serve a vital role as consultants or volunteers in organizations.

Caring for Our Older Adults – a Mitzvah and a Privilege 

In truth, caring for our aging adults is a huge mitzvah and a privilege.  It’s an opportunity to return the gift of their care for us as children in the same manner that they nurtured us.  

Let’s focus on the life lessons we can learn from our aging adults and avoid treating age as a handicap or treating aging adults as second-class citizens.  They need to be seen and heard.  And please don’t forget to smile.   

Place in Sidebar: Top Concerns of the Elderly

A recent survey from AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) and Politico found that the most important issues for seniors are: 

Health Care – Obtaining expensive prescription drugs 

Medicare – Expanding Medicare to offer increased and better coverage for older adults 

Social Security – Ensuring that the system remains solvent for future generations 

Care Options – Providing increased funding for home care and assisted living options 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Vice-President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com). 

Consequently, yeshivot, synagogues, and institutions that adhere to traditional views of family and marriage may find their tax-exempt status and access to a wide range of federal programs on the chopping block.  

It’s not just about teaching children the basics, which Sephardic yeshivot excel in doing. It’s also about being forced to insert progressive values into the classroom. 

Machla  Abramovitz 

On December 8, the Respect for Marriage Act passed the House of Representatives by a vote of 258 to 169, with 39 Republicans breaking ranks to join 219 Democrats on the motion. It also won bipartisan support in the Democratic-controlled Senate in late November, with 12 Republican senators crossing party lines to vote for the legislation. Despite its innocuous-sounding name, this bill does not strengthen traditional concepts of marriage. On the contrary, it codifies same-sex and interracial marriage protections. 

Rabbi Uziel Admoni, the founder of Charity Safebox (which investigates the integrity of charities and tsedaka appeals) and a rebbe at Congregation Bnai Yosef, had anticipated its passing since June, when the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and sent the abortion issue back to the states.  Rabbi Admoni advocates for Libah Yehudit, an organization with the full backing of Israel’s two Chief Rabbis and other rabbis in Israel and the United States. The organization strives to counter the infiltration of woke (leftist “progressive”) values into the educational system and the medical profession in Israel and the United States.  Rabbi Admoni believes that there are real and dire  dangers posed to Torah Judaism worldwide.  

Torah Values Under Attack  

“Forces in Israel and America are united in infiltrating the Jewish schools and getting anti-Torah changes enacted,” Rabbi Admoni states.  “In Israel, regardless of who is prime minister, school boards and medical officials have high-ranking positions in all areas, especially in the education and medical ministries.  The money is flowing in in great numbers from the U.S. to destroy Torah values of kedusha and morality, and to change those values into an anti-Torah Reform agenda of toeivah.” 

What are these forces?  “The American Reform movement is working with the New Israel Fund Wexner Foundation, the ‘Israel’ lobby J Street, and progressive anti-Israel billionaire George Soros.  Together, they are promoting progressive leftist agendas that fall under the radar.  In Israel, schools today teach children about Christianity, about their right to question their gender identities, and encourage the use of puberty blockers.  They are out to destroy the Jewish nuclear family.” 

Rabbi Admoni’s warnings, though, are not limited to progressive efforts in Israel.  “Whatever happens in Israel happens here – but a lot worse.  It will be too late if we don’t push back now.” 

Potential Fallout from the Respect for Marriage Act 

And with the passing of the Respect for Marriage Act, matters are about to become even more challenging for organized Jewish communities and Torah-observant Jews in America. 

We don’t yet know the full extent of the consequences of this Act, which theoretically protects federal recognition of non-traditional marriages.  Even though the Supreme Court legalized these marriages in 2015, this bill was meant to act as a backstop should a future highly conservative Supreme Court overturn the initial ruling and send this matter back to the states, as with Roe v. Wade. 

One might ask, how concerned should faith communities in America be?  After all, doesn’t the Act only strengthen an already existing law?  But, appearances can be deceptive.  According to former prosecutor and National Review columnist Andrew C. McCarthy, “The purpose of the legislation is to provide progressive activists with a cudgel to beat religious believers into submission.  If that were not the case, Congress would readily have adopted the amendment offered by Senator Mike Lee (R., Utah). The only plausible rationale for rejecting it [Lee’s amendment] is that proponents of the Respect for Marriage Act precisely intend for it to be deployed as a litigation weapon.  For the Left, it is not enough to tolerate same-sex marriage; you are to laud and celebrate it - or else.” 

Senator Lee’s amendment prohibited “the federal government from retaliating against any person or group for adhering to sincerely held religious beliefs and moral convictions about marriage” by protecting the First Amendment (Freedom of Religion and Speech) rights of all religious groups and individuals. 

If McCarthy is correct, the passing of this Act has now put all religious non-profits and every religious American Jew on notice. 

Non-Profits With Traditional Views Are at Risk 

Consequently, yeshivot, synagogues, and institutions that adhere to traditional views of family and marriage may find their tax-exempt status and access to a wide range of federal programs on the chopping block.  Small businesses, such as web designers and kosher caterers, as well as religious adoption agencies, foster care agencies, and medical facilities, are also not immune.  These businesses and institutions might be forced to close or face endless lawsuits and harassment. 

Really?  Think back to the Colorado bakery that refused to bake a cake for a non-traditional wedding on religious grounds.  The couple, who could have approached other bakeries willing to accommodate their needs, chose to sue this bakery for discrimination, testing the limits of the 2015 Supreme Court decision on marriage. They won their case under the state’s anti-discrimination law.  After losing many appeals, the bakery took its case to the Supreme Court (Masterpiece Cakeshop v. Colorado Civil Rights Commission), claiming its rights under the First Amendment.  The bakery won its suit, but the Court’s opinion was narrow, referencing only this case. The couple involved had expressed exceptional hostility to the bakery’s religious views.  It is still unknown how a future court would rule in cases involving florists, bakers, photographers, web designers, and others claiming religious objections. 

Freedom of Religion, Freedom of Speech on Trial 

Perhaps case 303 Creative LLC v. Elenis, currently before the Supreme Court, will provide some insight.  Jonathan Turley, attorney and George Washington University Law School professor, predicts it could be “one of the most important free speech cases in history.”  

Lorie Smith, a Christian Colorado website designer, refuses to design websites for same-sex weddings and wants to post a message on her website explaining her position, which a Colorado law prohibits her from doing.  Even though she based her Supreme Court appeal on freedom of religion claims, the Supreme Court chose to focus on free speech.  

Conservative Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh noted, “The case comes down to a narrow question: How do you characterize website designers?  Are they more like the restaurants, jewelers, and tailors, or more like the publishing houses and the other free speech analogs raised on the other side?” Given Twitter’s unilateral decision to censor the opinions of users and news stories it has disagreed with before, during, and after the 2020 US elections – exposed in Twitter owner Elon Musk’s recently released Twitter files – the Court’s ruling will prove highly timely and relevant. 

Will there be more court challenges in the future?  There are indications that this conservative Court is leaning in favor of Smith and freedom of expression, but whether its eventual decision will boost religious freedom remains to be seen.  Endless litigation requires vast amounts of money, which the progressive Left, financially supported by billionaire donors such as Soros and Silicone Valley, seems eager to supply. 

Will Yeshivot Be Pushed to Teach Ideologies Abhorrent to the Torah? 

There might also be other challenges to consider: Will the Act give additional fodder to the progressives’ push to force yeshivot to include non-traditional marriage education and different woke ideologies into their curriculum?   

Rabbi Admoni is convinced it will.  After all, the progressives have been highly influential in the public education system for years, focusing primarily on yeshivot in New York State.   

In September, a State Board of Regents ruling required that all private schools prove that they are providing students with “basic” secular education (equivalent to public schools) or risk losing government funding and even being shut down.  The ruling resulted from a lawsuit brought by a parent against Yeshiva Mesivta Arugath Habosem in Williamsburg under the instigation of YAFFED – Young Advocates for Fair Education, who claims to advocate “for the educational rights of ultra-Orthodox children in New York.”   

The decision issued by State Education Commissioner Betty Rosa requires yeshivot and education officials to develop “an improvement plan,” giving the NY State Education Department the final say.  The ruling, the NY Times gloated, “served as a stern rebuke of the administration of Mayor Eric Adams whose Education Department this summer reported to the state that, in its judgment, the yeshiva was complying with a law requiring private schools to offer an education comparable with what is offered in public schools.” 

“They are now interfering in our curriculum!” Rabbi Admoni exclaims.  “We’ve never had that before.  Also, what does the ruling mean by ‘basic’ education and ‘comparable to public schools’?  That’s the issue.”  

It’s not just about teaching children the basics, which Sephardic yeshivot excel in doing. It’s also about being forced to insert progressive values into the classroom. 

“These ‘educators’ don’t have Torah values. Their positions don’t come from the point of caring for our children.  Instead, these school board members want to destroy everything,” Rabbi Admoni said.  

Libah Yehudit Pushes Back 

How is Libah Yehudit pushing back within the Sephardic communities on these threats to Jewish identity and Torah values? 

“We must start with awareness and education.  We must focus on how we can get more people involved.  The next step is meeting with the Ashkenazi community.  Once it’s the town talk, we can see how to influence representatives, rabbis, and rebbes.  Our big problem is that we can’t talk about these issues publicly because we don’t want our children to hear about them.  It’s harder to spread awareness when you are limited,” Rabbi Admoni stated. 

So, Libah Yehudit organizers invited community rabbis to attend two meetings held in Congregation Shaare Zion, where attendees heard the Chief Rabbis of Israel by video, and Libah Yehudit representatives spoke movingly about the successful infiltration of woke values into Israeli society by the American Reform movement and their affiliates.  Moreover, those present heard that leftist efforts are not limited to Israel, but directly impact the American Sephardic community on its home turf. Also addressed was what Libah Yehudit is doing to counter the leftists’ moves in Israel and the U.S. 

Rabbi Baruch Ben Haim of Congregation Shaare Zion attended the November 20th meeting.  He acknowledged that getting the message across to the Sephardic community will not be easy, given its reluctance to speak about these matters openly.  However, education is crucial in enabling the Sephardic community to respond to these pending threats forcefully and intelligently.  

“If I were a yeshiva parent, I would stand up for my rights.  All Jewish and non-Jewish organizations with powers should communicate their opposition to this,” Rabbi Ben Haim said. 

One of the most effective means for Sephardim to overcome their historical reluctance to exercise their political strength is by voting.   

“Even if our preferred candidates don’t win, most elected officials don’t want to fight with the community they represent.  Instead, they want to work with their constituents.  Most laws are changed not through elections but through protests,” Rabbi Admoni said. 

Congregation Bnai Yosef’s Rabbi Haim Benoliel agrees that getting out the vote is vital.  Before the midterms, shul president Eddie Sitt publicly encouraged congregants to vote, especially given these ominous threats to yeshivot to and Jewish identity.   

More Sephardim voted the recent elections than previously, but the turnout was still not enough.  

“I would be happier to see an even bigger change and that more people understand that our future depends on how involved we become.  I don’t see that yet.  Not enough people are aware of what we are facing as a community.  When I tell them, they are shocked,” Rabbi Admoni said. 

Rabbi Benoliel was in Israel and missed the November meeting but heard from attendees that Libah Yehudit presented its case well.  “Threats to Jewish identity and Jewish tradition are real.  Libah Yehudit is on the front lines in countering these threats – in Israel and here – and they need money to do that.  We must alert the community to contribute. They can do nothing without money.” 

Rabbi Admoni is grateful for the financial support, which is vital to their efforts, but it must not stop with simply the writing of checks.  

 “As a community, we must do our maximum.  There are powerful forces at work to destroy the nuclear family, our way of life, and Torah values.  Libah Yehudit has the know-how to help counter these forces, but it needs the community’s full support and participation – financial and otherwise.  Saying we’re going to do nothing is not an option.  We must do what we can for shamayim.  The stakes are too high, otherwise.” For more info, please visit saveourkotel.org.

Checking in on those who made the move

Frieda Schweky

Hi guys,  

 This month we’re taking a look at what’s the deal with Deal? In June 2020 my husband and I moved our family from Brooklyn to Deal. During the pandemic, many community members  headed to the Jersey Shore where many families typically come for the summer. But this time, the move was not so temporary. Many families came to Deal with the mindset to “try-it-out” for a year. Many schools were on Zoom, anyway so it seemed not so much was at stake. It seems that the majority of people who were trying out Deal decided to stay. Some families who thought they’d move to Jersey for good ended up returning to Brooklyn. In 2020, I wrote a roundtable article about this topic. Since then many more families have moved to Jersey.  I wanted to check in and see how people are feeling now that they’ve had time to settle in. 

Judy H. Dweck

Moving to Jersey was totally unexpected and unplanned. When I got married we moved to a Brooklyn apartment (I grew up in Deal and married a Brooklyn boy). In my mind there was no way we were ever moving to Deal, but I was content with it. My setup in Brooklyn at the time was good, but not so ideal. My apartment was on the second floor and the staircase was outside so whenever I got home, I had to schlep my stroller, and all my groceries and things up a tall flight of steps. It was just hard.

Fast forward to March 2020, my husband and I went on vacation. We unknowingly took the last Royal Caribbean ship that sailed before lockdown. We went from our vacation straight to Deal to spend Shabbat erev Purim with my parents, and we never returned to Brooklyn. Of course, at the time we didn’t know we were moving.

At first we were just there for the weekend, then when the news hit about the pandemic and my son’s school closed, we decided to let him do Zoom school from Jersey. It was just more comfortable, and on the news, they were telling us not to leave where we were. So, we figured we’d quarantine here for spring and summer. Fast forward a few months. It’s mid-August, I’m thinking summer is over and it is time to return to Brooklyn in September. Then one day my husband looks at me and says, “I think we should stay in Deal.” Being a Deal girl originally, this seemed like a very natural and welcome transition, so I agreed. We packed up our Brooklyn apartment in two weeks and scrambled to find a school for our son. 

I’ve been in Jersey ever since and I love it! I grew up here, so it’s like being home. I have a huge backyard for my kids, my family is here, many of my childhood friends were already here, and a bunch of my Brooklyn friends moved during the pandemic, too. It’s been a much easier and simpler life than we had in Brooklyn. I’m a blogger and many of my clients are located in Lakewood, so it’s just a quick thirty minute drive from Deal. I go into Brooklyn sparingly for work when I have enough clients to justify the trip. My house has a separate garage that we use as a home office for my husband. He’s nearby but also has his privacy and quiet so he can focus. 

Additionally, DSN has become a big part of our lives since we moved here. I go to the gym or exercise classes there every day. They have a babysitting option for the morning hours if you need it. My son is currently enrolled in three different afterschool and Sunday programs at DSN. It’s a great source of socialization and activities for my whole family and it really adds to our lives here. So in closing, I think until Mashiach comes, we’re here to stay!

Etty Hazan 

In January 2021, we started considering moving to Deal. Once we decided for sure, we moved quickly. We were having our first baby, therefore outgrowing our first apartment. We considered staying in Brooklyn but nowhere felt right. I couldn’t picture my baby growing up in a small apartment or house with little to no outdoor space and being stuck home due to parking inconveniences, etc. By July 2021 we officially moved to Jersey. For us it wasn’t super difficult to move because my brother-in-law and sister-in-law had already moved to Jersey and my parents come in for the summer too. It is a little difficult that my side of the family isn’t here all year round, but my sister comes in from time to time and my mom visits us frequently.

Although I don’t have my whole family here, I don’t feel alone. I have made a lot of friends. The community here is extremely welcoming and warm. Everyone is willing to make new friends. Also, they understand that many of us don’t have much family here so they are very helpful and dependable when you need a hand. Running errands and getting around here is so simple that doing a quick hesed for a neighbor or new friend is pretty easy and common. In Brooklyn we didn’t have that. Neighbors ignored each other on my block, not even a friendly “hello,” let alone help when you needed it.

Another awesome thing that I didn’t anticipate is the enjoyment I get from nature. I now love watching the seasons change, something I never appreciated or even paid attention to in Brooklyn. In New Jersey in the winter the snow is beautiful on the trees as opposed to in Brooklyn where it would turn a nasty black from all the traffic, and was an overall inconvenience. The fall foliage is also really a sight to see. 

One downside is that there are not enough school options. In Brooklyn there is something for everyone, every level. Although a few new schools opened up in the past couple of years, we definitely need a few more good options to bridge the gap. 

Deal life is really worth the hype. It’s an awesome lifestyle. My mom comes in frequently. She enjoys doing her errands here. It’s convenient and slow-paced. She likes making small talk with friendly strangers at the supermarket and we get to have Grandma around. It’s a win-win! 

Fortune Chalme

We came to Jersey in the summer of 2020, like we usually do for the summer. I was sitting on the beach in Deal a week before school began and I thought to myself: if I go back to living in Manhattan, the kids will be stuck at home doing Zoom school and I don’t want that. Jersey schools, on the other hand, were open and starting in-person-schooling. Why go back to sitting in a one bedroom apartment with two kids when I can be in Jersey living a more normal life with kids in school? So just like that we decided to stay. We hustled to find a house in Jersey and rented out our apartment in the city. We put our kids in school in Jersey and that was that.

My favorite part has been being in nature and seeing the kids play outside in the fresh air. Also being able to find parking everywhere has been great. I really like the people here, it’s a really nice community, people are very down to earth and friendly.

My least favorite part is the winter. It can feel very isolating. Also, I have family in Brooklyn and commuting when we have a family event is pretty annoying. Another downside is that I feel like I’m in the car a lot. I like being able to walk to my errands. That’s not such a thing here.

Even though it was my decision, I was very nervous about moving. It was only supposed to be for a year. Within two weeks of officially living in Jersey I realized I’d like to live here for good. It was definitely the right decision. I don’t think with this many kids I’d ever move back to the city. It’s just not practical. 
 

Nina Mizrahi

We moved to Deal in 2018, and moved back two years later. In 2018, my husband and I were looking to buy a house. I’m very close to my family and grew up in Brooklyn, so naturally that’s where we were looking. As we house hunted, we realized we were going to have to compromise a lot on comfort and everything was very expensive. My husband in particular was looking for a house with some land and it became clear that wasn’t going to happen in Brooklyn. Every weekend he began schlepping me to Deal to look for houses. I went begrudgingly, knowing I was too close with my family to ever seriously consider making the move.

One day he found a house that he saw a lot of potential in and without my knowing he put in an offer. That offer was actually accepted and finally, he told me about it. When he told me about the house he said if I really didn’t want to move maybe he’d flip it – but regardless he was going to fix it up, so I came with him to the meeting with the architect. Hearing about the new home got me excited – my girls would have their own rooms, and I would have a nice big kitchen and everything I always wanted in a home. How could I refuse?! It sounded too good so I agreed to move. 

The first year I lived in a rental house as my dream home was being built. I really didn’t like it but I decided to wait, thinking maybe once we moved in to the new house I’d like it more. The second year we moved into our new home and I really enjoyed it. A few months in, however, reality began to sink in. I missed my family. They weren’t coming in for visits and I felt alone. My family would have gatherings and my sisters would go to lunch, I felt really left out. I began driving into Brooklyn every Shabbat, which was really hard to do. My kids would even miss school many Mondays because I didn’t want to go back! 

I missed my family. I missed the convenience of having stores a block away. I even missed honking! I learned about myself that I need constant action and commotion – I guess I’m just crazy or maybe I was just used to it. Either way, I realized the slow Deal life was not for me. I liked the school my girls attended. Jersey really is beautiful. It’s a nice life and I would really like to like it, but I didn’t! So June 2020 we moved back to Brooklyn. 

Roz Ben David 

Living in Deal was the best decision we ever made as a family. Things are just simpler here. Everyday life is just simple. Driving around, finding parking, errands, and food shopping is easy and even fun! Every time we go for a trip to Brooklyn we struggle with parking and driving. We can’t wait to get back home. Plus, the ability to turn right on red of course is so nice in Jersey. As amazing as life is here it comes with  a few cons. I remember when I was nine months pregnant and I was looking on Uber Eats for kosher restaurants that deliver. The variety was very limited. My husband had to drive to Lakewood to get my sushi! In Deal                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            we miss our quick Sushi Tokyo or Sushi Meshuga order. I really wish we had more fun spots for brunch or a delicious dinner options to go out with friends! Another con is that my husband works in the city and comes home late. 

Other than the typical things I mentioned about the ease of living in Jersey there is another major “pro” that I must mention. The community here is very friendly and ever growing! Most couples that we know that moved here have families back in Brooklyn, not locally, so they are more open to meeting new friends. The women have bi-weekly classes and get togethers. The men learn together daily and weekly and our children have school and neighborhood friends. It’s a lot of fun! We even have Shabbat and holiday meals together. In Brooklyn when everyone has family around, it’s not so easy to get opportunities to have meals with friends. I love being here. I would recommend it for young families. 

~ 

So, how am I liking the Deal life? I really love it. For all of the pros mentioned above and a lot more. The community is unlike any other. The young families live in harmony and there is neighborly bliss. It is  something I feel very blessed to have. If I had to give a con, I would say that the health insurance and doctors cannot match up (in my experience) to that of New York, but I digress. Whenever someone reaches out to me saying they’re considering making the move, I’m an open book for questions, information, and a friendly hand. 

I’m so happy to be back writing, and I look forward to continuing doing so. Have an idea for a roundtable topic? I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to email me at: Frieda@sephardic.org.