The COVID-19 pandemic has brought along with it the plague of grief. We have suffered great losses communally and individually. Many of our freedoms have been curtailed. Many have suffered overwhelming financial losses. Most have lost their routines. Most devastating of all, we have lost our loved ones. Each type of loss has caused us to grieve, and in our suffering we find ourselves at a loss as to how to console one another.
Men and women grieve differently and teens and children mourn differently than adults. There is no “right” way to deal with loss. Knowing this will allow us to be more compassionate with ourselves and with those around us who are grieving.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross identified five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is important to recognize that these stages do not always follow each other neatly. These stages may overlap. You may regress to the previous stage or you may skip one stage only to return to it later. And even once you have completed all the stages Kubler-Ross and David Kessler state:
The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not “get over” the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again, but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.
Understanding Your Own Feelings
Because grief has many facets, you may experience many conflicting emotions. You may feel scared, relieved, resentful, or guilty – all in the same day. You may at times feel nothing at all. You may feel like crying or you may not be able to cry at all. Your feelings do not need to make sense to anyone else, or even to yourself. These are just feelings and having them is normal. Even though you are hurting, you may want to have fun or laugh for a while. Know that this is not a betrayal of your loved one.
You will have memories of the person who has died, both happy and sad. These memories help you stay connected to the person who died. The person died, not the relationship. There may be times when you feel angry at the person who has died. I have heard many a widow lament, “Why did he leave me?” A death will always trigger our most vulnerable feelings of abandonment, so your anger does not mean you did not love those who have died; it validates how connected you were to them.
Children and Grief
Alan Wolfelt, author of Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart believes, “Any child old enough to love, is old enough to grieve. Hurting is part of the journey on the way to healing. Not learning to mourn well results in not living well.” While teens and children will experience the same barrage of emotions as adults, if they could, a grieving child or teen would tell us, “I don’t always have words for how I’m feeling. I don’t yet have a way to talk about my emotions, so I let my behavior do the talking for me. I need a lot of safety and support from you in order to express the feelings that are hidden underneath my behavior.” It is very difficult to soothe a child or teen who lacks the words to express their loss and are acting out. Show compassion and patience in allowing them to experience and express their feelings and thoughts. Help them to understand that grief is a normal and ongoing experience and encourage learning healthy coping skills.
How to Support a Loved One who is Grieving
Joshua Loth Liebman in his book Peace of Mind reminds us “How essential it is to express rather than repress grief, to talk about one’s loss with friends and companions to move step by step from inactivity to activity again…” He credits our tradition of lessening degrees of restriction in our mourning – the shiva, the sheloshim, the year of kaddish – as “an intuitive wisdom about human nature” that comforts us after a loss.
As you try to comfort those who have suffered a loss, remember that each person copes in their own way. Allow them to have all their feelings. Do not rush them through grief. If we are uncomfortable expressing our own feelings of grief, we may try to limit this in others. Instead, listen and respond with empathy and understanding.
Dreidels are a beloved part of Hanukah celebrations the world over. And they’re far from being simple playthings; dreidels symbolize deep spiritual concepts. Below are four enlightening messages that can be learned from the dreidel.
It hints to us that there’s nothing that happens in this world without it being decreed on high. Just as a person spinning the dreidel can’t know on what side it will land, so too he can’t know where his efforts will lead him. Spinning the dreidel harder doesn’t get you any closer to resolving this. Likewise, in life, the extra effort often just means a few more turns than necessary before getting to the result decreed on high. Gd runs our life in a similar way. A man can’t change what was decreed on him from on high and all the extra efforts are just meandering off the path Gd plotted for you.
Just as the dreidel spins only when you spin it from above, so too our world spins around by Gd spinning it from above.
A person who spins and orients himself inwards toward Gd will merit that he will spin out of and will escape the troubles that envelop him.
The Bnei Issachar explains: “…people spin the dreidel with the letters gimmel, shin, nun, and heh – and each faces a different direction with the dreidel spinning around a central point. These letters hint to the kingdoms of Rome, Babylon, Greece, and Madai, which oppose the four powers of man. Gimmel for “guf,” the body, shin for “sechel,” human intelligence, nun for “nefesh,” the soul, and heh for “hakol,” all of them.
They all spin on a central axis, which is Israel, that unites all the far away extremes. All the outside extremes are subservient to the middle they all spin around, and all the nations will nullify themselves to the nation of Israel and acquire a clear language (with which to come to Gd).”
Republican Nicole Malliotakis, a New York assemblywoman and 2017 New York City mayoral candidate, beat incumbent Democratic Representative Max Rose for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives.
Malliotakis will represent New York’s 11th Congressional District, a more conservative part of the city encompassing Staten Island and part of Southern Brooklyn.
Malliotakis thanked President Donald Trump for his support.
Attention Deal Patients: IV Infusions and Phlebotomy Services Now Available in Your Home! – Use IV Photo in folder – no caption needed
There’s a mom next door who, because of a medical condition, needs IV infusions regularly. But each time she needs medication, she travels to the hospital that administers it, waits until they admit her, then waits again for four long hours as the IV drips before traveling home. Besides for arranging for her children’s care, she needs someone to take her there and bring her home, because she’s often too weak after treatment to drive.
And as she sits there, waiting for her medication and staring at the wall, she thinks, “If only I could do this at home. I could be right there when my children get off the bus. I could sit comfortably next to them while they do their homework…instead of first arriving home at bedtime.”
Now she can! Through Lakewood Bikur Cholim, Deal patients who need phlebotomy (getting blood samples taken) and IV infusions can get this medical care right at home with a prescription from their doctor. A team of trained, licensed, medical professions, including ICU nurses, RNs, and paramedics are now standing by to help both the homebound, and those who simply can’t spend all day in the ER, to get this care immediately.
Volunteers are also wanted – training is available for licensed nurses who want to be able to help
administer these services.
The service is available 24 hours a day. For services, call the Lakewood Bikur Cholim hotline at 732-905-3020, and you’ll be transferred to the Deal dispatcher, who will send the appropriate medical professional. This service has already been life-changing for so many!
SBH Updates– include SBH Logo with title
SBH’s Career Division is looking to expand their current program and take on new professionals to help guide Career Division clients. They are looking for finance career specialists, female career coaches, and business professionals. Be the mentor you wish you had with the SBH CAREER COACH PROGRAM. Contact julie@sbhonline.org for more information or to sign up.
Family Plus One
Want to volunteer at SBH but barely have the time? SBH is offering a simple yet impactful way to help your community: cook one extra meal a week. It’s as easy as (spinach) pie. Contact sbhfamilyplusone@gmail.com for more information.
What will a Joe Biden presidency look like, what will his policies reflect, and will it have any similarities to the Obama years?
Though he has yet to enact a single policy, he has spoken on virtually every policy issue, giving a glimpse into what his legacy might look like.
At the time of the writing of this article, Joe Biden appears to be the President-elect, but Trump has not conceded. Trump is demanding recounts and is challenging the U.S. election results in the courts. Assuming the results stand, and Biden is declared the next President, many questions must be asked about how his occupancy of the White House will affect us as a community. These include questions such as how it will impact the economy, businesses, healthcare, foreign affairs, home security, funds for private schooling, and other issues.
The Jewish State
Let us begin with an issue near and dear to every one of our hearts – our beloved State of Israel. Many of us voted for the candidate that best represents our own outlook on how Israel should be treated. What’s to be expected from President Biden in this regard?
Several media sources, including Newsweek and JTA, say that he’s likely to undo many of the Trump-era aid package freezes against bodies that are hostile to Israel. This means renewing funding of the Palestinian Authority, reopening the Palestine Liberation Organization’s diplomatic mission in Washington D.C., and probably renewing funding of UNWRA – the refugee relief organization often criticized for incorporating vitriolic anti-Semitism in its school curricula.
Even while Senator of Delaware and Vice President under Obama, and later, Biden made it known that he opposes unilateral actions such as Israeli annexation of disputed territory in the West Bank, and the Palestinian Authority’s declaration of statehood. He has also made it clear that even as president, he would disapprove of “settlement expansion” – a catch-all for building Jewish homes in Judea and Samaria, which, he said during a speech at a 2019 J Street Conference, “takes us further from peace.” Biden also insisted that Israel “stop talk of annexation,” feeling that even mentioning the prospect of annexing parts of the ancestral Jewish heartland is not legitimate.
As reported by the Intercept on July 13, 2019, a leftist activist from the IfNotNow organization, which advocates against Israel’s hold on Judea and Samaria, asked Biden about “the occupation,” and in response he said. “I think occupation is a real problem, a significant problem. I think the settlements are unnecessary…”
As for Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS), Biden has expressed vehement opposition to the movement, as reported by the New York Times in December 2019, which cites the President-elect as making the following statement:
(BDS) singles out Israel — home to millions of Jews — in a way that is inconsistent with the treatment of other nations, and too often veers into anti-Semitism and efforts to delegitimize Israel. That’s wrong, and as president, I would oppose BDS efforts in Congress.
In his congratulatory note to Joe Biden on Nov 8, Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu appeared keen to assert his friendship with Obama’s Vice-President. “Joe, we’ve had a long and warm personal relationship for nearly 40 years, and I know you as a great friend of Israel,” he wrote. “I look forward to working with both of you to further strengthen the special alliance between the U.S. and Israel.”
He added, however, that “steps to sanction supporters of BDS may be inconsistent with First Amendment protections of free speech, as several federal courts have concluded.”
More disconcertingly, Karine Jean-Pierre, Chief of Staff of Vice President-elect Kamala Harris, penned an article in 2019 for Newsweek slamming AIPAC – the non-partisan pro-Israel lobby group. She said that Democratic candidates for President “made the right call” by not showing up to AIPAC’s annual convention that year, breaking the tradition that candidates meet delegates or deliver speeches. Jean-Pierre went so far as to criticize the organization for allowing Prime Minister Netanyahu to speak at that year’s convention, because “Israel may have committed war crimes in its attacks on Gazan protesters” and because the Prime Minister was indicted on charges of bribery. AIPAC, moreover, has, in her words, “become known for trafficking in anti-Muslim and anti-Arab rhetoric” and was “the [sic] obstacle to progress,” although she did not provide evidence for these serious charges.
Israel’s safety and security in a hostile region will be a perpetual concern – particularly, Iran’s overt plans to develop nuclear weapons with which to obliterate the Jewish State. Like his former boss, Barack Obama, Joe Biden is in favor of rebooting what is now famously known as “the Iran Deal” – the deal that gave the Islamic Republic $150B in exchange for halting its nuclear weapons program. John Kerry, while serving as Obama’s Secretary of State, conceded that a portion of those funds were likely to land in the hands of terrorist groups.
President Trump, to the delight of Israel and her supporters, discarded the plan, labelling it “a disaster.” Indeed, just a year into the Trump administration, Israeli spies managed to smuggle out of Iran literally tons of data that showed that the nuclear program was secretly being continued.
Biden has vowed to return to the diplomatic table with Iran, on condition that they act in good faith with the old deal. Interestingly, he blamed Trump’s exit from the Iran deal for what he believes to be the improvement in the Iranians’ chances of building nuclear weapons.
Corporate Tax Hikes
In terms of what happens here at home, Biden is likely to implement much different policies than those followed during Trump’s presidency in areas such as taxes, healthcare, and school vouchers.
Federal tax increases would affect the “wealthy and big corporations,” as described on Biden’s website. He plans to raise the corporate tax to 28 percent from Trump’s 21 percent, which Trump had already reduced from 35 percent. In addition, Biden’s plan is to require a minimum tax of 21 percent on all foreign earnings of U.S. companies, and impose a tax penalty on corporations that ship jobs overseas. With personal taxes, his goal is to raise the top individual rate back to 39.6 percent from 37 percent.
Healthcare
On the controversial topic of healthcare, Biden is set on reversing Trump actions that stripped away parts of Obamacare, and wants to expand eligibility for Medicare and Medicaid. He plans to give Americans a public health insurance option like Medicare, and wants to expand coverage to low-income Americans who would be eligible for Medicaid if not for their state’s refusal of the Affordable Care Act’s expansion of Medicaid eligibility. Biden’s plan will cover birth control and abortion, as well.
Medicare would, under Biden, extend to those aged 60, and make dental, vision and hearing coverage standard in traditional Medicare, instead of requiring the purchase of a supplemental policy.
School Choice Vouchers
An issue of great importance to our community is that of school choice vouchers. Joe Biden is on record of being opposed to school choice vouchers. In January 2020, Biden tweeted, “When we divert public funds to private schools, we undermine the entire public education system. We’ve got to prioritize investing in our public schools, so every kid in America gets a fair shot. That’s why I oppose vouchers.”
It is interesting to note that despite Biden’s opposition to vouchers, when it came time to send his two sons to high school, he chose the private option.
School choice vouchers generally allow lower-income students to put state dollars meant for their education towards private schools. Voucher proponents say it’s a way for lower-income students to escape troubled public schools for private schools that they otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford.
Conclusion?
Though not even sworn in yet – and in actuality, the results haven’t even been certified yet by the electors – we can still get a sense of what direction President Biden could take over the next four years, and of some of the changes that might be taking place.
Donald Trump Refuses to Concede Election
At the time of the writing of this article, Donald Trump refused to concede and stated, “This is far from over. The American people are entitled to an honest election. That means counting all legal ballots, and not counting any illegal ballots. This is the only way to ensure the public has full confidence in our election.”
Donald Trump Refuses to Concede Election At the time of the writing of this article, Donald Trump refused to concede and stated, “This is far from over. The American people are entitled to an honest election. That means counting all legal ballots, and not counting any illegal ballots. This is the only way to ensure the public has full confidence in our election.”
Why Trump Lost (Experts weigh in)
David Axelrod
David Axelrod, chief strategist for Barack Obama’s presidential campaigns, and Senior Advisor to the President, said that while COVID-19 may have been an issue for voters showing up to the ballot box, the shift occurred because “Trump beat Trump.” That is, it was more about personality than policy, for many voters. To his mind, early Coronavirus fumbles, along with the mishandling of nationwide protests against police brutality, made the success of Trump’s economic policies less appealing.
BBC New York correspondent Nick Bryant noted that being a political outsider who would say “what no one else would” helped Trump in 2016, but it hurt him in 2020. Despite an enthusiastic base who would come out and vote for him under any circumstances, his aggressive behavior and off-putting personality hemorrhaged some support – especially in the suburbs, Bryant believes. In 2016, Republicans who didn’t care for Trump were willing to give him a chance. By 2020, many were not, for reasons anywhere from perceived indifference to racial tensions, to the alienation of moderates.
Jonah Goldberg – conservative columnist, author, political analyst and editor of National Review – noted that Trump underperformed in a year that Republicans did better than expected in other ballots (Congress, Senate, statewide races). Again, he believes it was a case of Trump supporters believing that his antagonism and gruff were just what the country needed, but it did not translate well with independents and fence-sitters. The election became more about who Trump is, and not so much about his accomplishments, according to Goldberg. What the results of the election tell us is that Americans might be happy with Republican policies or legislature, but they were not happy with Donald Trump.
Brett Stephens, Pulitzer Prize winning American conservative journalist, editor, and New York Times columnist, is effectively a “Never Trumper” who is aligned ideologically with most of the administration’s policies, but was not a fan of the president. He surmises that Trump might have gained a little ground in a few demographics, such as Jews, Latinos, and African Americans, but he lost ground with white men – especially those with college educations – and seniors. Stephens says there are two major reasons he lost: uncontrolled rhetoric, and his party’s lack of condemnation of it. 2016 might have been the year for novelty, of “anything goes,” but 2020 appeared to be the year voters tired of the bluster, he explains.
Jack wrote a handwritten last will and testament back in 2007. Upon his passing in 2019, the will was found with Jack’s papers in his safety deposit box. The will was not prepared by a lawyer nor was it notarized or signed by witnesses. Jack simply fixed his signature to the bottom of a briefly written statement. In the will, Jack offered to gift his private home to the child that provides full time room and board for his son Joey, a child with special needs. In 2007, when Jack wrote the will, his only daughter was not yet married. In 2019, prior to Jack’s passing, his daughter, who was by then married, took Joey into her home for nearly six months before sending him off to a facility that provides for all of Joey’s needs. Jack’s daughter and son-in-law presented the handwritten document to our Bet Din claiming that their father legally gifted them his home since they provided room and board for Joey. Jack’s two sons acknowledged that they were aware of the document their father wrote before their sister provided room and board for their brother Joey, but they were nevertheless unwilling to transfer the property over to their sister. The two brothers defended that it was not their father’s intent to gift his daughter the home for a mere six months of room and board. They explained that back in 2007 the circumstances were different and there was a real concern for Joey’s welfare.
Who should inherit the father’s home? How should the Bet Din rule and why?
Torah Law
According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, a last will and testament must detail that the heirs of an estate will effectively receive their awards prior to the passing of the benefactor. The underlying reasoning is that one cannot gift another person unless he is still alive. In the absence of a halachically valid will, the assets of an estate are distributed according to standard biblical law as specified in our Torah.
A premier halachic authority proposes that although a will prepared in accordance with civil law generally does not comply with the above requirement, it is nevertheless viewed as halachically binding.
Hence, although a civil will clearly bequeaths the assets of an estate only after death, since the document is enforceable in a civil court it is rendered in a Bet Din as a binding transaction. Although it is technically invalid, the practice of preparing such a will is so widespread and is so powerfully effective in court, it waives the above halachic requirement.
In short, according to this novel opinion, a legal last will and testament prepared by a lawyer and collectable in court is halachically valid. It is important to note, that although some earlier sages agree with this view, many other halachic authorities render a civil will as null and void.
Needless to say, even according to the aforementioned view, if the will is prepared inaccurately and is not even enforceable in a civil court, it is rendered null and void.
By rule of the Shulhan Aruch, a written text found in the possession of the deceased listing the estate’s distribution, is not an enforceable document. Although the text is written and signed by the deceased, since it is not signed by witnesses nor delivered to a third party, there is a concern that perhaps in the interim, the estate owner changed his mind about the distribution. Witnesses and notaries attest to the will giver’s intent and commitment to the distribution. Additionally, transferring the text to a lawyer for execution or to the estate’s beneficiary is an indication of the benefactor’s final decision with regard to the estate distribution. Therefore, in the absence of the above requirements a written text is invalid.
A Bet Din is required to analyze any conditions stipulated by a benefactor prior to awarding a beneficiary. Too often beneficiaries tend to believe that they fulfilled the stipulated conditions when it is apparent they did not.
VERDICT: An Equal Distribution
Our Bet Din ruled in favor of Jack’s two sons by denying Jack’s daughter sole inheritance of his private home. As mentioned in Torah law, the written statement found in Jack’s safety deposit box does not constitute a valid last will and testament. Since the statement was not signed by witnesses, nor was it transferred to a third party to execute, it is halachically and legally rendered null and void. Furthermore, there is concern that perhaps Jack changed his mind with regard to the transfer of his private home to the care provider of his son Joey. Jack did not submit the text to his lawyer since his special child Joey was already older and no longer needed significant homecare. The two sons contested their sister’s preposterous claim by bringing evidence that they as well hosted Joey for numerous weeks at a time. They explained that by no means does their sister have the grounds to solely inherit the private home.
Hence, our Bet Din referred to an earlier notarized will, that was signed by witnesses, which distributed all of Jack’s assets without distinction into three equal parts. Jack’s two sons and his daughter were instructed to equally share all of his estate including his private home.
YOU BE THE JUDGE
Another Inheritance Dispute
Joan, the eldest child of her beloved father, testified that months before his passing, her father said that he wished to gift her younger sister Sherry a sum of $100,000 from his estate. For many years Sherry selflessly tended to all of her father’s complex medical needs. Their three brothers presented the last will and testament to our Bet Din which allocated to each of the three sons 25% of the estate, with Joan and Sherry to receive 12.5% each. Upon Joan’s testimony the three brothers responded that they never heard of such a baseless claim. The brothers explained that the reason their father gave each daughter 12.5 %, was in lieu of Sherry’s dedication. Joan was gifted her percentage only on the account of Sherry, as their father did not want to leave her out of the distribution. The brothers suggested that perhaps Joan and Sherry conspired against them to collect an additional $100,000, since this is the first time they heard of the extravagant gift. Joan emphatically reinstated her claim and added that Sherry and her husband were in deep debt and were struggling. Joan claimed that it was their father’s last wishes to help Sherry with an additional sum of money.
Is Sherry Entitled to an Additional $100,000 from the Estate?
My 12-year-old son has a circle of good friends, but suddenly another boy has joined the group. My son has had problems with this boy in the past. This boy has regularly been mean to my son, but my son says they have reached a sort of “peace agreement.” I don’t want to get involved, but I really don’t want my son to spend time with this boy. Should I do anything?
Signed,
Being Overprotective?
Dear I Don’t Think So,
Trying to protect your son from unnecessary abuse is not being overprotective. Perhaps the other boy will honor his side of the peace treaty. Perhaps not. You would simply rather not take that chance.
However, convincing your son of the potential danger is another issue. One of the toughest lessons for a parent to learn is – never criticize your child’s friends in front of your child. It has a very odd effect on your child. S/he says to her/himself – “These are my friends, if my parents think that they are no good, it also means they think that I am no good.”
You certainly didn’t say that, but that’s what they hear. The “Experts” say – “Criticize their friend (even if what you say is TRUE), and you’ve made them a friend for life.”
So how DO you separate your children from less than desirable companions?
A few ways:
Limit the amount of time that they are allowed to spend together. That depends, of course, on their age and whether or not they are classmates.
Insist that the only way they can spend free time together is in your home. It puts you more in control of the situation.
If you ever witness the other child misbehaving, in this case taunting your son, ask your son – “How did you feel when he did that?Did it make you feel bad? Yeah, me too.” Hopefully he will realize he doesn’t need to be with that boy.
Next time he asks – “Can I invite Johnny over to play?”Tell him, “Nah, pick another friend.” After a few times, hopefully, he will get the message.
Your child’s friends are a very important ingredient in developing your child’s self-esteem. It is wise to make sure that he surrounds himself with good people who make HIM feel good about HIM.
Despite a massive deficit brought on by the COVID-19 pandemic, New Jersey’s recently passed budget handed several funding victories to private schools, especially increases for spending on security and special education.
The budget process was delayed for months as a result of the virus, which both slashed revenue and disrupted normal government functions. There was much talk of a massively scaled-down spending plan to deal with the over-$5 billion revenue gap. Ultimately, Governor Phil Murphy and the legislature opted for a huge borrowing package and a “millionaires tax” to continue funding for most items the state has financed in past years.
In light of the steep hill the state had faced, advocates for the Orthodox community were pleased with the results.
“Given the challenges the state faced, we are exceptionally grateful for the gains we made and that other programs escaped any cuts,” said Rabbi Avi Schnall, Agudath Israel of America’s New Jersey Director.
The other most notable increase was in the reimbursement available for special-education services – covering supplementary instruction for English language and mathematics – which was increased from $31 million to $33 million. The move is especially significant as it is the first adjustment to the funding in over seven years. In that time, the number of children requiring extra help has grown exponentially, while funding levels remained stagnant, placing increasing limitations on the services that could be provided to needy students.
Rabbi Schnall, who has been heavily involved in efforts to secure the increase for several years, said that while the pandemic left less cash to draw from, it also highlighted the need to offer more support to struggling students.
“In terms of education, COVID hurt these students the most and highlighted the need to do more for vulnerable populations,” he said.
Agudath Israel of America Sues Gov. Andrew Cuomo Over New Coronavirus Restrictions
New York Governor Andrew Cuomo
On October 8th, Agudath Israel of America sued New York Governor Andrew Cuomo in federal court for pandemic restrictions on religious gatherings that the group says are discriminatory, coming just ahead of three important holy days.
The lawsuit filed at the U.S. District Court in Brooklyn seeks a restraining order on restrictions Cuomo announced on October 6th, a declaration that Cuomo’s order is unconstitutional, and reimbursement for legal costs.
“Forty-eight hours before the onset of these holidays, Defendant Governor Cuomo issued an Executive Order that singles out and discriminates against all houses of worship – and synagogues in particular – by imposing occupancy and gathering restrictions that make it impossible for Orthodox Jews to comply with both their religious obligations and the Order,” the lawsuit stated.
The lawsuit notes that New Yorkers must comply with the order beginning no later than Friday, which is when Hoshanah Rabbah falls, and which is followed by Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah. The order will be in place for two weeks.
“These holidays each have special prayers and rituals that are incorporated into worship services,” the lawsuit states. “Orthodox Jews will gather at their synagogues for collective prayer, Torah readings, remembrances of deceased loved ones, and other rituals.”
The group claims the order “will disrupt the religious observance of tens of thousands of Orthodox Jews in New York state, depriving them of their religious worship and holiday observance,” the court documents show.
Dov Hikind Says Gov. Cuomo Unfairly Singling Out Jewish Community in COVID Clusters
Dov Hikind
Some Jewish leaders are voicing concern over what they say is Gov. Andrew Cuomo singling out the Orthodox Jewish community in New York’s COVID-19 “cluster zones.”
Last month, Cuomo announced that the state would cut funding to “red zone” schools and governments that were caught not enforcing or complying with the new restrictions in those areas.
Brooklyn activist and former State Assemblyman Dov Hikind said that he believes the governor’s rhetoric around the crackdowns is “causing an outbreak of the virus of anti Semitism.”
A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa and took his small pet dog Fido along for company.
One day, while roaming the African plains, Fido started chasing butterflies, and before long the little beagle realized that he was lost. Wandering about, he suddenly noticed a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the obvious intention of having lunch.
“Uh oh,” the dog thought to himself, “I’m in deep trouble now.” Noticing some bones on the ground nearby, he immediately settled down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard was about to leap, the dog loudly exclaimed, “Man, that was one delicious leopard. I wonder if there are any more around here!”
Hearing this, the leopard halted his attack in midstride and, overcome by fear, quietly slinked away into the trees. “Whew,” the leopard said. “That was close. That dog nearly had me.”
Meanwhile, a pint-sized monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree figured he could put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he went to speak to the leopard. The dog saw the monkey heading toward the leopard, and figured that something must be up. The monkey quickly caught up with the leopard and, after striking a deal, revealed that the dog had tricked him. The cat, furious at being made to look like a fool, said, “Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”
The dog saw the leopard coming with the monkey on his back, and began thinking, “What am I going to do now?” But instead of running, the dog decided to sit down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet. And just when they got close enough to hear, the dog says, “Now where’s that monkey already? I knew shouldn’t trust him.”
Curious about the dog’s remarks, the leopard pauses for a moment and looks at the monkey.
Then the dog continues, “It must have been at least half an hour since I sent him to bring me another leopard!”
Yitzy D.
Delivery Service
After my friend landed a coveted job from DHL, we went out to lunch to
celebrate. At the restaurant he was contacted by the company’s human resources department with an urgent request to complete and send back some forms. “No problem,” he said, “I’ll FedEx them right over!”
Abe C.
The Calming Claims Rep
I admit I was becoming frantic when I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office to report the loss. Thankfully, Cindy, the baggage claim representative, calmed me down.
Smiling warmly, she told me not to worry as she assured me that she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. I was starting to feel relieved when this professional asked me her first question… “So, has your plane arrived yet?”
Eddie G.
What Daddy Does
Ruth, a travel agent, took a call from a man who wanted to book a flight for two to Colorado. When Ruth quoted him $59 per ticket, he wasn’t happy with the price.
“I want the $49 fare I saw advertised,” he insisted, saying that he would accept a flight anytime. After much searching, Ruth finally managed to find two seats on a 6am flight.
“I’ll take it,” he said. But he then expressed his concerns that his wife might not like the early hour.
“Well you’d better tell me for certain,” Ruth warned him. “There is a $25 cancellation fee for each ticket if you change the reservation.”
“Oh, that’s no problem,” he said dismissively. “What’s 50 bucks?”
Jack V. Grazi
The Crazy Cut
Bob walked in to Fred’s Barber Shop one day.
“Hello there,” Fred the barber said as he recognized the repeat customer. “Do you want a trim or a regular cut today?”
“How much for a crazy cut?” Bob replied.
“A crazy cut? What exactly is that?” asked the barber.
Bob answered, “That’s where you cut one inch off of the left side, nothing off of the right side, shave just the middle part of the top of my head, and cut the hair in the back on a slant from left to right.”
Fred the Barber laughed and said, “Yeah, right… I’d do that one for free!”
“Really?” asked Bob. “Because you charged me for it last time I was here.”
David B.
First Jump Jitters
As a sergeant in a parachute regiment, I took part in many exercises with young officers.
Once, I was seated next to a lieutenant fresh from jump school. He was quiet and looked a bit pale, so I struck up a conversation.
“Everything ok, sir?” I asked.
“Yes,” he answered quietly.
“Scared?” I asked.
“No,” he replied, “just a bit apprehensive.”
I asked, “What’s the difference?”
“That means,” he explained slowly, “I’m scared, but with a university education.”
Sari R.
The School Interview
Little Simon was applying to a religious school for third grade. Before being accepted, he had to be interviewed by the principal. “Now, Simon,” the principal asked, “tell me honestly, do you say prayers before eating?”
“No sir,” Simon answered, “I don’t have to… my Mom is a very good cook.”
Sarah S.
Laughing Gas
Morris was in need of much dentistry work. At his first appointment to fill one of his root canals, the dentist gave him laughing gas to ease the pain from the drilling. Upon completing the work, the dentist removed the mask, and Morris asked, “When am I going to stop laughing?” The dentist replied, “When you see your bill.”
David S.
Know Your Station
Barbara was in Grand Central Station on her way to Connecticut. She had never taken the trip before, and was wondering if she had to switch trains in Stamford. When she reached the ticket booth, she placed her money on the counter and announced her destination. As she received her ticket she asked the ticket agent, “Will I need to change?”
The agent looked up at Barbara and said, “Well, I wasn’t going to say anything but, yes… those shoes really don’t go with that belt.”
Jack V. Grazi
Courtroom Protocol
As the judge entered the room, everyone rose to attention. But as the judge sat down, a few people in the courtroom began talking again. Banging his gravel down the Judge bellowed: “Order in the court!”
“Ok,” a reply came back from the corner of the room, “I’ll take pastrami on rye with extra pickles.”
SCENARIO ONE: Savory aromas of perfectly cooked gourmet food fill the air. The table is neatly set and the family is presented with a balanced, healthy meal of brown rice, steamed spinach, and seasoned chicken breast with a light side salad. Yet the mood quickly turns sour as one child suspiciously eyes the food announcing, “I’m not eating that!” followed by a dramatic “Ewwwwww!” from another child, while the toddler expresses his disgust by spitting out what’s in his mouth and throwing the rest on the floor. The parents, horrified by such a display of chutzpah, will not tolerate this blatant disregard of the revered food pyramid. The dinner table soon becomes a battlefield of parent vs. child, with threats and punishment fired from one side are fought with whines and resistance from the other. After much tears and coercion, each child has ingested enough nutritious food to satisfy the parents, but everyone is left with a bitter aftertaste.
SCENARIO TWO: The ding of the microwave announces that the frozen pizza and fries are ready. Happy kids scamper to the table and eagerly eat their share of greasy packaged food. Mom is enjoying the easy mood yet at the same time she feels guilty and embarrassed, hoping that no unannounced visitors arrive to bear witness to this feast of innutritious calories that her children are filling up on. One by one, the satisfied children finish the meal and continue the evening calmly and cheerfully.
While these examples are extreme, most families have probably experienced their version of each scene. Parents of picky eaters face the daunting challenge of choosing either wholesome food and miserable kids, or junk food and happy kids. Parents need to decide whether or not to burden their mealtime with anguish by forcing healthy foods on finicky kids, weighing the benefits of nutritional health on one hand and emotional health on the other. Tangentially, it bears mentioning that while forcing kids to eat healthily has short-term payoffs, in the long run, if eating is associated with emotional negativity, it might result in unhealthy habits in adulthood.
With this problem in mind, let’s take a look at the Jewish custom to serve stuffed cabbage or stuffed noodle dumplings during the Purim feast, in which the hidden food filling echoes the theme of the hidden hand of the Almighty in the Purim story. Taking inspiration from this Purim tradition, we can use the concept of hidden foods, to create a new repertoire of meal ideas in which healthy foods are concealed in kid-friendly fare.
Hidden Veggies
The best place to start is with food that your children already like, and then think of a vegetable that, when shredded or puréed, will blend in visually and add little to the taste. Any recipe with ground beef, chicken or turkey, such as meatballs or meatloaf, is the perfect blank canvas. Add in shredded veggies such as carrots and zucchinis, and seasonings that will overpower the vegetables. Similarly, ground chicken with cooked diced veggies or greens can be formed into bite-size patties, coated with breadcrumbs and transformed into mouth-watering chicken nuggets.
Sauces and gravies are an excellent place to hide puréed veggies. Marinara sauce can be enhanced with squash, carrots or red pepper, as the tomato paste and spices create the dominant flavor. Try puréed cauliflower in Alfredo sauce for an instant nutritional upgrade, or get in a serving of greens by adding spinach leaves to your pesto. Mashed avocado, seasoned with fresh lemon juice, garlic, and oregano, makes an unexpected yet delicious creamy sauce for noodles.
Another kid favorite is macaroni and cheese. Put puréed butternut squash in the mix, and it will blend in with the natural colors of the dish and add a unique rich flavor (see sidebar for recipe!). And who doesn’t love mashed potatoes? Make them more nutritional with mashed kohlrabi or cauliflower. For kids who fancy breaded chicken fingers, sneak some ground flax seed into the bread crumbs to boost the meal’s fiber content.
One of the more unique and fun trends in vegetable presentation is “spiralizing.” A Spiralizer is an inexpensive kitchen gadget which turns vegetables into spaghetti noodle shapes. Spiralized veggies can be simmered in a skillet, cooked in broth, boiled, baked, or even eaten raw. When cooked, you can serve up guilt-free, carb-free, veggie-based pasta with your favorite sauce and toppings. The Spiralizer can also transform your veggies into rice, fries, chips and other interesting shapes. The list of vegetables that can be spiralized is wide-ranging, and includes zucchini, cucumber, beet, butternut squash, eggplant, carrot, apple, potato, cabbage, and broccoli stems. In addition to the nutritional bonus of a super healthy, hearty, plant-based meal, kids will love watching the Spiralizer in action, and might even join you in the meal prep.
Play With Your Food
Anyone who grew up eating “ants on a log” – celery sticks filled with peanut butter and topped raisins – can attest to the attraction of food that doubles as play. When food captures the imagination, kids will eat it, so get creative with food presentation to engage your child’s sense of fun. Try uniquely shaped sandwiches made with cookie cutters, or bite-size pieces of fruit and cheese on a skewer for a cool arrangement. Better yet, give your kids cut-up fruits and veggies in a variety of shapes and colors and challenge them to create original food art.
Quick Tricks
For cooks who are short on time, these concepts can be adapted for quicker meals. Vegetable purées and homemade spiralized veggie noodles can be prepared ahead of time, frozen and then defrosted when needed. You can easily then add these veggies to jarred sauces or boxed meals for a healthy boost. But if the thought of cooking, mashing, portioning and freezing makes you dizzy, look for packaged foods that do the work for you. For example, the company Barilla makes a line of pasta that incorporates fresh produce, such as carrots, butternut squash, spinach and zucchini, right into the noodles. They offer “[v]eggie pasta made with 25 percent freshly puréed in-season vegetables that delivers 20 percent of the daily recommended intake of vegetables so you can feel good knowing your family is getting the nutrition they need.” Many other brands are hopping on this bandwagon, so peruse the shelves of your grocery for ready-made food with hidden vegetables.
Last But Not Least
When it comes to dessert, there’s no reason why the last course needs to be the least healthy. In fact, with sugar to offset other flavors, mild veggies can be easily concealed in many sweet treats. Brownies, with their chewy texture and rich chocolate flavor, are the perfect base dessert for a healthy mix-in. There’s something magical about the combination of cocoa powder, sugar, flour and oil that no vegetable can ruin. Play around on Google and you will find brownie recipes that include shredded zucchini, black beans, kale, carrots, beetroot, and spinach. Similarly, you can satisfy your sweet tooth with chocolate chip blondies made from a garbanzo bean base (see Deep Dish Cookie Pie recipe in side bar!). Quick breads, muffins and pancakes are also a great place to sneak in some produce—think mashed bananas, chunks of apples and pears, berries and even shredded zucchini and carrots. Or, how about some creamy chocolate pudding with avocado slipped in!
We learn in Mishle (14:1), “Hochmat nashim banta beitah – The wisdom of a woman is what builds her home.” Let us be wise and use these ideas to build up the joy in our homes by removing meal time tensions with our precious children, and nourishing them physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
SECRET RECIPES
Mac & Cheese
1 1/2 cups elbow macaroni
Nonstick cooking spray
1 tbsp. olive oil
1 tbsp. all-purpose flour
1/2 cup skim milk
1/2 cup butternut squash, carrot, or cauliflower purée
1 1/2 cups shredded reduced-fat Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup reduced-fat or nonfat cream cheese
1/2 tsp salt
1/8 tsp paprika
1/8 tsp pepper
Cook and drain noodles according to package instructions. Coat a large saucepan with cooking spray and heat over medium heat. Add the oil, then the flour, and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture resembles a thick paste but has not browned, 1 to 2 minutes. Add the milk, stirring until thick. Add the vegetable purée, Cheddar, cream cheese, and seasonings, and stir until the cheese is melted and the sauce is smooth. Stir in the macaroni and serve warm. (Adapted from Deceptively Delicious)
Deep Dish Cookie Pie
2 cans white beans or garbanzos (drained and rinsed) (500g total, once drained)
1 cup quick oats
1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce
3 tbsp. oil (canola, vegetable or coconut)
2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 and 1/2 cups brown sugar
1 cup chocolate chips
Blend everything (except the chips) very well. Mix in chips, and pour into an oiled pan. Cook at 350 degrees for around 35-40 minutes. Let stand at least 10 minutes before removing from the pan. (chocolatecoveredkatie.com)
