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Empathy Effect

First off, I would like to thank you for publishing such a high quality magazine every month. One of my favorite columns is “Words of Rabbi Eli J Mansour.” Last month’s article about empathy (The Empathy Effect) is certainly an important topic – and was brilliantly written – but I believe there is another level that goes beyond empathy – and that is compassion. In my humble opinion, empathy is useful in bonding with someone. Compassion is a higher state of awareness, however.

With empathy, we can take on and fully experience the anger of someone who has been wronged or violated. Empathy may also keep us in a loop of victimhood, separation, righteous indignation, or just simply keep our hearts closed to transformation. With compassion, we go beyond feeling empathetically what someone else feels, seeing through the present situation with unconditional love, kindness, and understanding.

We can understand someone’s feelings and response while still keeping our hearts open to the Highest Good for all without getting caught up in the story. So, inherent in compassion is also forgiveness.

Stuart Z.

Worldwide Anti-Semitism

Although I found last month’s interview with Dr. Manfred Gerstenfeld on the subject of anti-Semitism quite informative, I was deeply disturbed by the suggestion that most of the anti-Israelism and Anti-Semitism verbal attacks stem from “left-wing liberals.” Unfortunately, there are anti-Semitism and feelings of anti-Israelism from both the right and the left.  Suggesting that the Democratic party in the U.S. is anti-Semitic is repulsive. I’d expect that there may be some anti-Semitic Democrats, just as there are some anti-Semitic Republicans. But neither party in the U.S. is now connected with anti-Semitism, nor has either been in the modern era. Furthermore, many Jewish Democrats, myself included, find far more in common with the party that has strongly supported the rights of women and minorities – the Democrats.

Raymond G.

The recent spate of vicious ant-Semitic attacks should not come as a big surprise. It coincides with another phenomenon unprecedented in modern U.S. history: open, anti-Semitism in Congress. The kind of anti-Semitic diatribes spewed by Democratic Reps. Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, and AOC is what triggers violence, mayhem, and death throughout the world. It is mind boggling that these three hatemongers are still in Congress.  People have been fired or run out of town for speech a lot less racist and hateful. They should be expelled immediately. Individuals with such an uncultured outlook in life do not belong in a civilized society, let alone Congress.

J.G.

Artistic Endeavors

I was so surprised and equally elated to read Mozelle Forman’s article about the beauty and the need of tasteful art and décor in our lives (Artistic Endeavors). As she so eloquently pointed out – Hashem created the world in designs of vibrant colors and magnificent forms. I say this because from my experience, there is a terrible malady among some people that frown upon multi-colored and uniquely designed artwork. Hashem included so many majestic sights and colors, so many beautiful feasts for the eyes – that there really should be no reason not to decorate our homes with colorful pictures of nature. Our children should not grow up with the notion that there are only three or four colors to choose from – black, brown, grey, and navy. Dark colors darken the mind. If Hashem had wanted a world void of color He would have created it so. He didn’t.

Leah D.

Allergy Tips

I love reading all the articles about allergies by The Nut Job Mom, Paulette Cohen. I have a child that has food allergies – so I find her advice quite helpful.  Last issue’s allergy tips when traveling was terrific. I would like to share with your readers another allergy tip when traveling – and that is to ask for a non-smoking room and make sure that your hotel doesn’t accept pets. See if you can get a room with bare floors, since carpet traps allergens. I also bring my own dust mite-proof pillowcase and mattress cover – but I know that might seem too over the top for some people.

Elana C.

Thousands of French Jews Fill – Dome De Paris for Dirshu Siyum HaShas

Rabbi Nachman Seltzer

After a series of inspirational siyum celebrations held by the Dirshu organization in Jerusalem, Tel-Aviv, Manchester, and London – the next stop was Paris, which, on Sunday, January 12, saw the largest event ever celebrated by so many streams of France’s observant Jewish population.

Across the ocean, in North America, the events at Prudential, NJPAC, and Newark Symphony Hall lay ahead, as well as in South Africa and Belarus. It was a busy but exciting period for Dirshu – the international organization that runs numerous programs aimed at encouraging and fostering devoted Torah study and mastery of Talmud and halachah. Dirshu’s indefatigable Nasi, Rav Dovid Hofstedter, not only spoke at every event, but showed excitement at every gathering as if it were the first event of the “siyum season.”

“Thank You, Hashem!”

After an early-morning flight from Israel to Paris, I arrived at Dome De Paris with plenty of time remaining before the event began. The cavernous room was bustling, with the teenage helpers receiving their last-minute instructions, the band going through sound checks, and everyone involved in the production reviewing his part – all determined to ensure yet another beautiful kiddush Hashem, that the siyum in Paris would match the success of all the preceding Dirshu events, which all saw sellout crowds with thousands clamoring for entry when no more tickets were available.

I had the good fortunate of meeting a French rav, Rav David Zaoui ,a Lubavitcher shaliach in Paris, who graciously agreed to sit next to me throughout the event and serve as my translator. On my seat – just as on every other of the 4,000 seats in the hall – there was a bag containing Artscroll’s French edition of Masechet Berachot, the first tractate in the Talmud, as well as the brand-new commentary to Pirkeh Avot by Rav Hofstedter.

The event began with a series of videos featuring various distinguished rabbis and personalities delivering their heartfelt messages to the crowd.  Rav David Pinto sent a video message from Israel stating that the siyum in Paris was an opportunity to say, “Thank You, Hashem. In our time we need people to strengthen us in limud haTorah [Torah study]!” Unlike all other mitzvot, Rav Pinto explained, Torah learning is very easy to neglect, because we can always tell ourselves, “I’ll do it later.” But thankfully, the Dirshu organization found an effective way to motivate and push people to learn, providing a wide range of structured programs and incentives to help students remained focused and committed.

“Who could have imagined that so many people would be making siyumim around the world!” Rav Pinto exclaimed. “What a zechut [privilege] it is to have Dirshu in France!”

As the orchestra played its opening medley, a group of yeshiva students jumped up from their seats and began to dance. Dancing this early in the event showed me two things: that a great afternoon lay ahead, and that the yeshiva students of France were very lively!

Moshe Roth, head of the orchestra, introduced Israeli singing sensation Meidad Tasa, who had flown in specially to join the French Siyum HaShas, and filled the hall with the beautiful song, “Ein Od Milvado” (“There is None Besides Him”). He then sang the timeless words of the Or Ha’haim (Rav Haim Ben-Attar, 1696-1743) describing how we must learn Torah “bimtikut va’arevut – with sweetness and pleasantness.”

Fulfilling Our Purpose

After a short introduction by the master of ceremonies, Rav Dovid Hofstedter and many of France’s leading rabbis ascended onto the stage and took their places on the dais as the music played and the crowd sang with great fervor.

Rav Shapira, Rosh Yeshivah of Epinay Sur Seine, was invited to recite a chapter of Tehillim. He first exhorted the crowd to develop within themselves the ratzon (desire) to complete the entire Talmud. The Rosh Yeshiva then announced, “This Tehillim is for all of us to develop that ratzon.”

A letter from Rav Gershon Edelstein was then read, stating:

Sometimes a person thinks he has plenty of time to do whatever he wants, but he needs to remember that he has to learn the entire Torah during his time here on earth! He should think to himself, “Do I know the entire Shas? I don’t have time to waste!” There is no extra time, and we have to learn every second! If you do that, what a happy life you will have… There are no excuses. Everyone has to set aside time to learn Torah!!

Rav Yitzchok Weil, shelit”a, Rosh Yeshivah of Aix les Bains, shared his reflections on the significance of the occasion: “There is no question that being here is a big merit for every person, showing Hashem that he is attaching himself to the tremendous kiddush Hashem happening right now!”

The Rosh Yeshivah then spoke about the special joy experienced by those who learn Daf Yomi: “When we learn the Daf HaYomi, we feel happiness, because we are intuitively experiencing the reason we have come here to this world. Suddenly, we feel that we are fulfilling our tachlis [purpose].”  He added that the vision of Rav Meir Shapiro, who introduced the Daf Yomi concept nearly 100 years ago, is being realized, and is succeeding in its mission to unite all different types of Jews around the devoted and joyful study of Talmud.

Sticking to Your Schedule – No Matter What!!

Rav Shlomo Kanievsky, shelit”a, then read a letter from his father, Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shelit”a, emphasizing the importance of kevi’at ittim laTorah – designating time each day for Torah learning. Rav Chaim cited the Gemara’s teaching that one of the questions every person will be asked after departing this world is whether he had set aside time for study.

Rav Shlomo then proceeded to tell a story about a certain man in Bnei-Brak who would travel an hour each way to deliver a class to a small group of Jews in a community outside the city. One day, as the man prepared to leave, he saw that heavy rain was falling. He figured that with the inclement weather, very few people would attend his class, which to begin with was quite small. He decided to go to the Hazon Ish (Rav Avraham Yeshayah Karelitz, 1878-1953) and ask him whether it was worth going through the trouble of making the long trip on a stormy day to teach such a small handful of students.

“Tell me,” the Hazon Ish asked, “is there anyone who you know will definitely attend the shiur?”

“Yes,” the teacher replied. “The gabbai who opens the door will definitely come.”

The Hazon Ish told the man that if the gabbai would definitely come, then he needed to go teach his class.

He explained that when a person learns for an hour each day, that hour fundamentally changes the entire day. There is an enormous difference between a day with learning and a day without learning – and this made it worth taking a long trip in the rain to teach a single Jew, whose day would be transformed by listening to a shiur.

Rav Shlomo then told a story he had heard from his father, Rav Chaim, which he introduced by stating, “Everyone knows that my father doesn’t waste any time, and that he makes a siyum on the entire Torah every single year.”

Some 60 years ago, he related, when Rav Chaim was in his thirties, a yeshiva student asked Rav Chaim if he would learn with him for one hour every day. Rav Chaim agreed, but only on the condition that the boy would always arrive on time.

The boy replied that he was, in principle, committed to arriving on time each day, but every winter, he gets sick, and his illness endures for a full month. He could not commit to arriving when he was unwell.

“If you promise to come on time every single day,” Rav Chaim said, “ then I promise that you won’t get sick .”

The boy promised, and, sure enough, he did not get sick even once the entire winter.

Towards the end of the winter, a famous Hassidic Rebbe visited Israel, spending most of his time in Jerusalem. He planned a brief stop in Bnei-Brak – for the exact time when this student normally studied with Rav Chaim.

The boy, who was eager to see this Rebbe, asked Rav Chaim if they could reschedule their learning session.

“Absolutely not!” Rav Chaim replied. He explained that “kevi’at ittim laTorah,” setting aside time for learning, means setting a schedule and always sticking to it, come what may.

The boy explained that if they did not reschedule, then he would have to travel all the way to Jerusalem to see the Rebbe – instead of taking a five-minute walk to see him there in Bnei-Brak.

Still, Rav Chaim refused.

The boy, unable to resist, went to see the Rebbe at the expense of that day’s learning session with Rav Chaim. The next day, he became sick.

Rav Shlomo then told another story that happened during the time his father spent in the Lomza Yeshivah in Petach Tikva. His roommate, Rav Moshe Soloveitchik from Switzerland, was terribly distraught over the fact that so many Jewish children were being raised without a Torah education, and so he would go around knocking on doors, trying to convince parents to enroll their children in religious schools. He devoted so much time to this mission that on some nights he returned to the yeshivah at around 1-2am. Rav Moshe also learned Daf Yomi – which was not widely accepted back then.

One night, Rav Moshe returned to the yeshiva at 3am, and instead of going straight to bed, he opened his Gemara and began learning the Daf. He read a line and fell asleep; and then read another line and fell asleep again. Finally, at around 5am, his roommate, Rav Chaim, turned to him and asked, “Did you understand anything you just learned?”

“Nothing,” Rav Moshe replied. “Not a word. But although I didn’t understand anything I learned today, I will understand the next hundred pages that I learn. If I hadn’t learned today, then I would likely keep making excuses for missing other days, as well. That’s why I forced myself today to keep to my schedule even though I was falling asleep the entire time.”

Rav Shlomo concluded with a berachah that in seven-and-a-half years, at the next Siyum HaShas, the hall would be too small to accommodate all the Jews in Paris who had completed the Talmud.

“Come See What My Children are Doing!”

Rav Yehuda Toledano, Rosh Yeshivah of Mercaz HaTorah, announced to the crowd, “There is a big simchah in heaven right now.” At that moment, he said, Gd is saying to the angels, “Come see what My children are doing, and how they finished the entire Shas!!”

The reason for this special joy, the Rosh Yeshivah explained, is because Torah is the very purpose of creation. When Hashem sees how we are committed to realizing the world’s purpose, resisting so many pressures and temptations, He rejoices.

Rav Toledano then spoke of the special importance and power of Torah learning:

Through the waves of history, the Torah has served as our protection. It has led us through every generation and guided us through every situation. Our enemies may have succeeded in burning our sefarim [books], but the letters flew up into the sky where they waited for us to take them back into our lives. In today’s complicated world, there exists a unique island of serenity – an island of Torah that can be found in every place where we learn Torah. When a son sees his father learning and feels his joy, the son grasps that the Torah is our life force and the absolute center of our existence.

A Modern-Day “Na’aseh Venishma

Rav Dovid Hofstedter, Nasi of Dirshu, was then introduced to speak. The young men in the crowd greeted him with the song, “Ashreh mi shegadol baTorah – Fortunate is he who is great in Torah.” They continued singing, not letting Rav Hofstedter speak, expressing their overflowing feelings of gratitude to Rav Dovid for all he has done for France’s Jewish community.

On two occasions during his speech, Rav Dovid spoke in French, an expression of deep respect for those who had gathered for this special event.

He cited the famous verse, “Torah tzivah lanu Moshe morashah kehilat Yaakov – Moshe commanded us the Torah, as an inheritance to the congregation of Yaakov,” and raised an important question regarding the concept of Torah being a morashah – an “inheritance”:

The Torah is our…inheritance. We didn’t need to buy it. It has always been ours. On the other hand, we find that it is written in Pirkeh Avot that we do need to work for it, and that it is not just a yerushah. This is a contradiction. Do we need to work for it or not? Is it our inheritance or not?

One answer, he explained, is that the Torah is an inheritance for the entire Jewish Nation, but not for individuals. We are promised that the Torah will never be forgotten from our nation, but every individual Jew must invest a great deal of work in order to acquire it.

But Rav Dovid then offered another answer to this question:

We see in the Torah that there are two ways of accepting Torah… The first is the way we stood at Mount Sinai and said, “Na’aseh venishma” [“We shall do and we shall listen”]. The second is the way we see when the nation complained that they didn’t have water… In an interesting turn of events, Klal Yisrael [the Jewish Nation] went and accepted Shabbat and parah adumah [the law of the red heifer used for purification]– taking mitzvot upon themselves without…preparing themselves… How could they do that? How could they accept additional mitzvot upon themselves without hachanah [preparation]?

The answer is simple: because mitzvot are our “water,”  our air.

At Mount Sinai, when Klal Yisrael said, “Na’aseh venishma,” there was…preparation. So strong and effective was the hachanah, that the…people changed into…a new type of creation, proving that in order to change ourselves, we need to really work on ourselves. Only then will we become beneh Torah.

So yes, the Torah is our yerushah, our inheritance. But if we want to genuinely change ourselves, we need to work hard and to accept upon ourselves the yoke of Torah. We need the siyum, and we need the hachanah of Torah.

At the end of the speech, Rav Dovid asked the crowd a number of questions in French:

“Do you accept the yoke of Heaven upon you?”

“Yes!” the crowd unanimously and emphatically replied.

“Are you ready to learn Gemara every day?”

“Yes!”

“Do you think that our survival as a nation comes from the fact that we kept the Torah for so long?”

“Yes!!”

With this raucous, modern-day pronouncement of “Na’aseh venishma,” Rav Dovid concluded his speech.

Ashrechem Talmideh Hachamim!!!

Then came the emotional moment everyone had been waiting for – the siyum, the completion of the Talmud.

Rav Michoel Smerzla of Strasborg was honored with the reading of the final words of Talmud Bavli.

He began by reflecting, “Today we are finishing Shas, but the main thing is that we are starting again from the beginning.” Rav Smerzla expressed his fervent hope that the next Siyum HaShas would take place in the rebuilt city of Jerusalem.

The completion of the Talmud was followed by Rav Yitzchok Levy’s recitation of kaddish. The orchestra began playing, and the crowd erupted in exuberant dancing throughout the hall. The Jews of France joined hands and sang together on top of their lungs, “Ashreichem talmidei hachamim – How fortunate you are, O Torah scholars!” The mood was ecstatic. The Jewish community of France had just crossed the finish line. The Torah sages on the stage held hands and danced in their places. It felt as though SImhat Torah had descended upon the hall in the middle of the winter.

Finally, the crowd returned to their seats, and Rav Rafael Abuchatzeira was introduced to speak. He explained how we draw close to Gd through our study of His sacred Torah:

There is nothing more special in heaven than someone who sits and learns Torah. We all know about Mount Sinai and how we were chosen to receive the Torah. Moshe went up to the heavens, and the angels asked him what he was doing there. He explained that he had come to take the Torah, and that whoever possesses the Torah is in control of this world and the spiritual world above.

…We were given the Torah by Hashem – and since we so desired to draw close to the Shechinah [divine presence], the Shechinah wanted the same.

When a person learns Torah, the Shechinah learns…opposite him. It doesn’t say this about any other mitzvah – only when it comes to learning Torah. This shows us the importance of Torah learning in the eyes of Hashem.

Rav Mordechai Rottenberg was then honored with reading the opening words of the first tractate of the Talmud – Masechet Berachot. When he finished speaking, Rav Chamu recited “Shema Yisrael,” followed by the pronouncement, “Hashem Melech,” and finally, the prayer “Ana Hashem Hoshea Na.” All were repeated by the crowd.

The unforgettable event ended with more singing and dancing. Nobody wanted it to stop. Not the people who had come to spend time in the company of their Torah leaders, and not even the band or the singers who had come all the way from Israel to electrify the crowd. Ironically, they had come to inspire, but they left inspired themselves.

It was a truly uplifting afternoon and evening, a memory that I know will remain with me throughout the rest of my life, and one which, with little doubt, will have a profound impact upon French Jewry for years to come.

Between Carpools – All in a 9×13. No Bowl, No Mess, Barely Any Time.

On Between Carpools, our most popular recipes are those in the 9×13 series. What’s not to love about dishes that takes minutes to prep and entail no cleanup? These Oatmeal Squares launched our 9×13 series two years ago and these Lotus Blondies are the latest recipe to go viral.

No-Mixer-No-Bowl Oatmeal Squares

2 cups oats

1 cup whole wheat flour

½ cup sugar

½ cup brown sugar

½ teaspoon salt

½ teaspoon baking soda

½ cup chocolate chips

1 tablespoon vanilla sugar or 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

2 eggs

½ cup oil

  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. In a bowl, or directly in a greased 9- x 13-inch baking pan, mix dry ingredients first with a fork, then mix in the 2 wet ingredients.
  3. Bake for 25 minutes. Cut into squares while warm. Let cool and separate.

Lotus Blondies

½ cup oil

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 cup Lotus spread

1 ½ cups brown sugar

1 ⅓ cups flour

1 teaspoon baking powder

  1. Preheat oven to 350⁰F. Grease a 9 x 13-inch baking pan.
  2. Begin by adding wet ingredients to your baking pan. It’s easier to mix the Lotus spread if you microwave it for a few seconds first.
  3. Add dry ingredients to your baking dish. Mix to combine and spread evenly.
  4. Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until middle isn’t jiggly (they will harden as they cool so you don’t need to bake until completely firm unless you like them really crispy). Let cool before slicing into bars. These freeze really well.

Between Carpools is the lifestyle app/site for the busy Jewish woman.  You’ll find home and organizing tips, parenting insights, activities, how-to’s and DIYs, and of course, entertaining ideas, recipes, and inspiring reads. The APP is available at the App Store and Google Play. If you have a kosher smartphone, you can visit your local TAG office to have the app downloaded. Here’s a taste. Enjoy!

Victoria Dwek, Leah Schapira, Renee Muller, Shaindy Menzer, & Esti Waldman

www.betweencarpools.com

The Lighter Side – January 2020

A Better Beggar

Mustafa and Hassan, two immigrants from the Middle East living in Manhattan, both decided to try making money by panhandling on the streets of New York. But after a month of begging, Mustafa was only successful at collecting about $5 to $10 a day, while Hassan would regularly come home with a suitcase full of $100 bills.

Finally, one day Mustafa asked Hassan “How do you always bring home so much money, while I can barely scrape together a few dollars?”

“Tell me,” Hassan replied, “what does your sign say?”

Mustafa read his sign: “I have no work, a wife, and six kids.”

“No wonder you only get a few dollars a day!” Hassan said.

“Why, what’s wrong with my sign?” Mustafa asked.

Hassan showed him what was written on his sign: “Need only $50 more to get back to Iran.”

T. M.

Family Money

Shirley Feldman’s preparations for a visit from her children included a trip to the bank. Waiting in line at the teller’s window, Shirley lamented to a middle-aged man behind her, “My children are in their 20s, and I’m still giving them money. When does it end?”

“I’m not sure I’m the one to ask,” the man said while glancing uncomfortably at a paper in his hand, “I’m here to deposit a check from my mother.”

Barbra G.

Just Teething

Rivka was holding her little baby, Yitzy, while talking to her mother. “I haven’t slept in three days,” Rivka complained. “Yitzy is teething and he’s up all night crying.”

“Why don’t you just rub a thimble-full of brandy on his gums? That will numb them up and put him right to sleep.” answered the new grandma.

“I can’t give my baby alcohol! Who knows what that will do to him.?”

“Yitzy will be fine, I guarantee it!” said the grandma.

“How can you guarantee something like that?” asked Rivka.

“Because I did it to you every night and you turned out OK!”

Lori Z.

Defective Diagnoses

At an international medical conference, an American, a Frenchman, and a Saudi Arabian were discussing the shortcomings of modern medicine. The American said, “It’s really frustrating sometimes. We treat patients for arthritis, and then we find signs of joint disease.”

“I know what you mean,” said the Frenchman. “We treat them for yellow fever and find out later that they have malaria.”

“We don’t have that problem in our country,” said the Saudi Arabian doctor. “When we treat patients for a disease, they always die of that very same disease.”

Yaakov R.

Sharing the Catch

A matchmaker needed to find eligible young men for two different girls. Traveling to the neighboring village, he was only able to find one suitable boy – and the mothers of both girls wanted him for their daughters. Unable to deal with the bickering, the matchmaker took them to the rabbi for arbitration.

The rabbi listened to the whole story, and finally said, “This is a very difficult situation. Who is truly destined to marry this young man? I will borrow the wisdom of King Solomon to answer this question. Just as King Solomon said to cut the disputed baby in half, I say to cut the young man in half and share him.”

At first everyone was silent, as no one believed the rabbi was serious. But then, one mother exclaimed, “Okay, so cut him!”

The rabbi immediately stood up, pointed to her and said, “Aha! That’s the real mother-in-law!”

Alice N.

Aches and Pains

At the Beth Israel nursing home in Boca Raton Florida a group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their aches and pains. “My arms are so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee,” said Applebaum.

“I know what you mean. My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee,” replied Shiffman.

“I can’t turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck,” said Markewitz, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

“My blood pressure pills make me dizzy,” Himmlefarb contributed.

“I guess that’s the price we pay for getting old,” winced Goldberg as he slowly shook his head. Then there was a short moment of silence.

“Well, it’s not that bad,” said Rosenbloom cheerfully. “Thank Gd we can all still drive.”

Robert C.

The Angel’s Cake

An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite bakery. One morning, however, he arrived at work carrying a gigantic cake. We all scolded him, but his smile remained painted on his face.

“This is a very special cake,” he explained. “I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed, Gd, if you want me to have one of those delicious cakes, let me find a parking place directly in front of the bakery.’”

“And sure enough,” he continued, “by the eighth time around the block, there it was!”

Michael L.

Older and Wiser

Our rabbi announced that admission to a shul social event would be $6 per person. “However,” he added, “if you’re over 65, the price will be only $5.50.”

From the back of the congregation, a woman’s voice rang out, “Do you really think I’d give up that information for only 50 cents?”

Irene D.

Lost in Emotion

Our nephew was getting married to a doctor’s daughter. At the wedding reception, the father of the bride stood to read his toast, which he had scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Several times during his speech, he halted, overcome with what I assumed was a moment of deep emotion. But after a particularly long pause, he explained, “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to make out what I’ve written down.” Looking out into the audience, he asked, “Is there a pharmacist in the house?”

Ezra S.

Worshipping in the Digital Age

A young man walked in to shul and, instead of heading for the bookshelves to take a siddur, he just took out his iPhone and began praying. An older person, apparently not too tech savvy, approached and asked him what he was doing.

“I downloaded all the prayers on to my phone,” the young man responded, “so I can read it directly from here instead of from a siddur.”

“Well in that case, why are you saying it?” the older person asked. “Just highlight the text and press ‘Send’…”

Terry M.

100,000 Strong: Unity, Joy, and Pride at the 13th Siyum HaShas

Rabbi Yehuda Beyda

Momentous.

Inspirational.

Historic.

Awe-inspiring.

All of these words can be applied to describe the 13th Siyum HaShas held on January 1 at MetLife Stadium, and viewed via livestream by Jews around the globe.

But these are just words, and words alone cannot adequately express what we felt, sitting in an open-air stadium on a frigid January day, frozen in place not by the biting wind, but by the dazzling spectacle that we were so privileged to behold.

Daf Yomi, the study program whereby Jews around the world study one page of Talmud each and every day, was the brainchild of Rabbi Meir Shapiro (1887-1933), esteemed Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Chachmei Lublin in Poland. He conceived of this program as a way to unite world Jewry through Torah, such that no matter where a Jew travels throughout the world, he can immediately find like-minded people studying the very same page of the Gemara that he is studying that day. The idea of Daf Yomi is to harness the universality of the Torah in order to bring together Gd-fearing Jews the world over. (Indeed, the original proponent of the idea, Rabbi Moshe Menachem Spivak, envisioned people dating their correspondences with that day’s daf in place of a calendar date!)

Agudath Israel officially launched the Daf Yomi program on Rosh Hashanah, 5684 (September 11, 1923), and it has continued without interruption ever since – for nearly a full century.

 You’ve Got to the Turn That Page!

Sitting in MetLife Stadium on that January day, all one had to do was look around at the tens of thousands in attendance in order to feel the power of a tzibbur (community).

The rabbis teach us that when Jews gather together, each individual’s influence is amplified by the connection with the others. Just ten Jews praying together is enough to bring the Shechinah – the Divine Presence – into the shul, and the effect only grows with the size of the crowd. Merely joining together with such large numbers of Jews, all with one point of focus, can have a life-altering effect. This power – which was one of the intended goals of the Daf Yomi’s founders – was powerfully expressed by Rabbi Mordechai Sultan, a longtime educator in the community, in a recent interview.

Rabbi Sultan has been learning “the Daf” for 15 years. I asked him how he got started, and what it is that keeps him going.

He explained that he began just before the 11th Siyum Hashas, a couple of years after he started teaching. The vast amounts of time and attention he was investing in  preparing his classes came at the expense of his regular learning time, and he sought a source of motivation to continue his personal growth in Torah. He found it in the Daf Yomi.

“You have family semahot, you have other events and obligations, but the Daf Yomi can’t be ignored,” Rabbi Sultan reflects. “There are no excuses, no considerations. At the end of the day, you’ve got to find a way to turn the page. I’ve learned the Daf at weddings, on trips, even at Yankee Stadium. You gotta turn the page.”

And what about the family? Do they understand when Daddy can’t be there because he’s learning the Daf?

“They’ve been making it happen!” Rabbi Sultan exclaims. “Without their support, it wouldn’t happen.”

This is the koah hatzibbur – the power of a community that Rabbi Shapiro set in motion. And never was this power more dramatically on display than at the 13th Siyum HaShas last month.

Elevating the Jewish Nation

The first major address was delivered by Rabbi Malkiel Kotler, Rosh Yeshiva of Beth Medrash Gavoha (BMG) in Lakewood. Citing the Gemara’s statement that Abbayeh would make a celebration for the entire yeshiva whenever a student finished a masechet, Rabbi Kotler explained that when one learns Torah, it becomes part of his essence, and this has the effect of elevating the entire Jewish Nation. Even those who did not finish the Shas, said the Rosh Yeshiva, bonded together with those who did in celebrating their accomplishment.

Rabbi Yaakov Perlow, Novominsker Rebbe and the head of Agudath Israel, spoke of Torah’s timelessness, and how it is the very soul of Am Yisrael. The only reason that we are still here while the major empires of ancient times have crumbled, the Rebbe explained, is the Torah. He added that the root of the word “Torah” means “guidance,” as the Torah provides guidance for us in every aspect of our lives.

Rabbi Perlow then made an impassioned plea to the ruling powers in the Land of Israel, emphasizing that they also deserve to take part in Torah learning, and they also have the right to the title of The Chosen People. As stewards of the city of Hashem, he said, they have the responsibility to ensure the continuance of Torah education, both for others and for themselves. The Rebbe implored our brothers to return to the bet midrash and take part in our shared heritage.

Every Single Day

Rabbi Yissachar Frand, Rosh Yeshiva in Ner Yisrael of Baltimore, electrified the crowd with his account of how even the Nazis ym”sh realized that the Talmud is the soul of the Jewish People. He also related the story of how an entire farming community in Israel returned to Hashem as a result of spending some time studying Gemara during a shemittah year. He then exhorted the crowd to “not let the perfect be the enemy of the good!” Though the task of completing Shas may seem daunting, he said, the trick is to view every day as its individual accomplishment. In that way, one step at a time, the mountain of Shas can be climbed.

This sentiment was echoed by Rav Aharon Schiff, Chief Rabbi of Antwerp. He told that one day, when Rabbi Meir Shapiro was a young boy, he found his mother crying because the melamed (private tutor) had quit to take a different job.

“Why are you crying?” little Meir asked. “We’ll find another melamed tomorrow and I’ll continue my studies.”

His mother replied that she wasn’t worried about the next day; she was crying for that day’s Torah learning, which was lost irretrievably. Rabbi Shapiro internalized this lesson and went on to found the learning of the Daf Yomi, predicated on the concept of never missing a day. Each day is precious and must be utilized to its maximum potential.

“You are the Team”

After the 12th Siyum Hashas in 2012, a group of men from Shaare Zion approached Rabbi Raymond Haber and asked him to deliver a Daf Yomi class in the shul. From that small, core handful of individuals, the group has now grown to over 50 participants, many of whom have completed the entire cycle.

Beyond the phenomenal numerical growth, though, Rabbi Haber sees within his students the profound effects of a long-term commitment to learning Torah. He says that when you need to pull out the Gemara and sweat over the Daf on a plane to China, or review the class recording on your way to work, the commitment solidifies. As he put it in speaking to one of the members at the Siyum: “Usually, when you come to this stadium, you are rooting and cheering for your team. Today, you are the team. It’s your victory.”

The unparalleled joy of triumph was palpably felt by one and all during the dancing after the completion of the Shas at MetLife.

“We were dancing like crazy,” Rabbi Haber said. “All these guys that put in the work, you could really see the simcha [joy].”

Mr. Bert Hidary is one of the community’s Daf Yomi pioneers, and a founding member of the BSZ study group. The class is presented by Rabbi Prag one day a week, and by the members themselves on the other days. The group just began its third cycle of the Daf Yomi together, and several new members joined after the Siyum. The close bonds that develop between the group’s members are evident from the way Mr. Hidary talks about the group. He describes the experience of  staying up late at night to work on the Daf, about text messages sent back and forth during the day resolving problems that arose during the class, and about going beyond the basic understanding of the text.

“What we have to remember,” he says, “is that we’re just scratching the surface. We can’t be satisfied with just reading the Gemara.”

He then describes the joy of celebrating together at the Siyum, excitedly telling me about dancing at MetLife, and about the siyum held in Shaare Zion’s social hall on Motzaeh Shabbat. Over 500 people attended the event, which was held jointly by all the different Daf Yomi classes in Shaare Zion, beautifully celebrating the Jewish Nation’s unbreakable bond with the Torah.

Whatever It Takes

No celebration of Daf Yomi is complete without the stories of individual heroism that emerge, and we were not disappointed.

Rabbi Shlomo Farhi, rabbi of the Safra Synagogue in Manhattan, related to the gathering the story of a man who, stricken with ALS, nevertheless persisted in learning the Daf each day. Though the doctors had given him but a few months to live, Mendy Rosenberg committed himself at the last Siyum to finish Shas. Though he no longer has control over his body, he acquired specialized computer equipment that allows him to communicate using the fluttering of his eyelids. This is how he has persevered, and how he has completed the entire Shas. Whatever it takes.

This point was emphasized by Rabbi Reuven Feinstein during his address to the crowd. After reading a letter that HaRav Chaim Kanievsky addressed to the Siyum’s attendees, Rabbi Feinstein encouraged us to do whatever it takes, to never say, “I tried enough.” He referenced the well-known story told in the Gemara about the student who needed to hear every point 400 times before he understood it, and urged us to take that lesson for ourselves, as well.

An Eruption of Joy

HaRav Shmuel Kamenetsky, Rosh Yeshiva of the Philadelphia Yeshiva, was introduced to conduct the actual siyum, reading the final lines of the Talmud. The Rosh Yeshiva noted that the true joy of a siyum lies not in the completion of the material, but in the commitment we display by immediately beginning our learning anew. He illustrated this point by observing the practice to dance with the Torah on Simhat Torah not immediately upon finishing the reading, but after beginning the next cycle.

Rav Kamenetsky then proceeded to recite the traditional “Hadran” text from a volume of Gemara that was printed in the DP camps after the Holocaust, symbolizing how our nation has never let go of Torah learning, even in its darkest periods.

After the siyum, the dancing began. The crowd of nearly 100,000, which had sat respectfully throughout the long ceremony despite the freezing temperatures, suddenly erupted from their seats. Rows of men paraded up and down the rows. People were dancing in place in the stands. Huge circles formed at field level. The massive stadium pulsated with a single joyous heartbeat, every individual participant overcome by jubilant, ecstatic joy. It was overpowering. It was unforgettable. It was the story of a nation and its love for the Torah.

Connecting With Yaakov Avinu

Rav Aharon Feldman, Rosh Yeshiva of Ner Yisrael in Baltimore, immediately began the 14th cycle with the opening lines of Masechet Berachot. He noted how appropriate it is to start with the halachot of blessings and prayers, which teach us that everything is in the hands of Hashem, and we are in control of nothing – not even our own lives. For everything we must pray to and thank Hashem.

The final speaker of the night was HaRav Uren Reich, Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshiva Ohr Zecharia in Lakewood. The Rosh Yeshiva spoke about Yosef Hatzadik, and the message he sent to his father, Yaakov Avinu, with his brothers. The Midrash states that when Yosef was leaving his father’s house for the last time, Yaakov accompanied him partway. Yosef told his father that he did not require accompaniment, as he was not Yaakov’s guest, but Yaakov explained that the reason for accompanying guests is for the departing traveler know that someone cares for him enough to see him off. This awareness gives him the strength and encouragement he needs to confront the dangers that lurk during travel. Many years later, when Yosef’s brothers reported to Yaakov that Yosef was alive, Yaakov asked incredulously, “Is my son Yosef still alive?!” Rabbi Reich explains that Yaakov could not believe that Yosef could still be a worthy spiritual heir to Yaakov Avinu after living for 22 years in Egypt. Yosef therefore sent his father a reminder of their last conversation, to demonstrate that throughout his time in Egypt, he kept Yaakov’s image in his mind, and maintained their spiritual connection. We, too, the Rosh Yeshiva taught, must keep our minds and hearts connected to Yaakov Avinu, to our illustrious ancestry, in order to maintain our spiritual vitality through our dark and difficult exile.

After kaddish and arbit, the crowd finally began to disperse, and we all made our way home. Though the Siyum itself was over, the participants all left with a firm, resolute determination to renew their commitment to learning, and to meet again, please Gd, in seven and a half years, in the rebuilt city of Yerushalayim.

 

 

New Seniors Division Kicks Off at SBH

“SBH Jersey Shore want to be a one-stop-shop for seniors and their families for recreational, educational, and health-related purposes.”

Frieda Schweky

The SBH Tawil Family Jersey Shore branch is thrilled to announce the addition of the Lorraine & Louis Shamie Senior Division.  Group activities, informational events for both seniors and caretakers, as well as cultural and educational programs are just a few of the innovative programs the new Senior Division will be offering.

Sarah Azar Named Seniors Coordinator

Sarah Azar was recently named Seniors Coordinator at the Jersey Shore branch of SBH. Sarah began working at the mental health clinic in Brooklyn in 2013. She has since worked as a therapist in the clinic from 2014-2017.

After serving as a therapist, Sarah held various positions including child therapist, case manager, and social worker for seniors. Sarah holds a master’s degree in mental health counseling and has years of community-based experience. She is enthusiastic about her work and has a fresh outlook on how to expand and grow the Senior Division at the Jersey Shore branch.

“Sarah brings energy, enthusiasm, and clinical experience to the team here at the SBH Jersey Shore branch,” said Victoria Sutton, MPA, Director of Senior Division for Brooklyn and Jersey Shore SBH. “She always has new and creative ways to engage. We are so excited to have her on board at our Jersey Shore branch!”

Brooklyn and Jersey Shore Branches Partner in Serving Seniors

The SBH Senior Division is a vital part of community senior living,  and the Jersey Branch is proud to offer referrals for the following: medical services, mental health services, food services, home health aide agencies, nursing homes, and rehabilitation facilities.

In the upcoming months, the goal is to have identical  programming and services available at both branches of SBH, in the Jersey Shore and in Brooklyn. Already steps have been taken to make this a reality, and soon the programs should be identical to one another. One of the first steps taken to reach this goal is special programming. Many recent events for the Senior Divisions have taken place at the same time and date in both Brooklyn and the Jersey Shore branches.

SBH Honors Veterans

On Veterans Day, SBH teamed up with Hillel Yeshiva High School to honor nine community veterans. The event was a great success. Attendees included the veterans, community seniors, Hillel 9th and 10th graders as well as the families of the veterans. Some veterans had the opportunity to address the crowd of students and each of them received a certificate of appreciation. Isadore Shammah, who can be quoted on several occasions saying “Could you believe I never got a high school diploma…”  was (finally) awarded a high school diploma on that special day.

Sunshine Girls

Sunshine Girls is a fairly new initiative that was launched in the spring of 2019 and relaunched after the summer. This invaluable program assures that the seniors in the Jersey Shore are visited at least once a week. About 60 community women are on rotation visiting about 20 seniors. The ratio of volunteers to seniors is high to assure that no senior goes for a week without a visit. If one volunteer can’t make it that week, another will fill in. The Jersey community has never had such a large and organized visiting program before, and this no doubt is aiding the Jersey seniors tremendously.

SBH Fills the Void

Some social programs that SBH Jersey Shore has to offer are Young at Heart and Arts and Leisure Club. Young at Heart takes place every Tuesday. Seniors come in to socialize, have lunch, and enjoy live entertainment. Short Story Book Club, a part of the Arts and Leisure Club, is held on Wednesdays. Each member comes in having already read the assigned short story at home, and when they come in they  discuss the short story with a facilitator. About once a month the group takes a field trip. The group has ventured out to the Jewish Heritage Museum in Freehold, NJ, The Ocean Township Historical Museum, cake decorating with Alexis Cohen, and more! The experiences are always educational, cultural, and, best of all, enjoyable for all who attend.

Some other amazing  programs at the SBH Jersey Shore branch are: Challah Delivery, which is an initiative whereby local high school students deliver challot to about 30 seniors each Friday, and also Shabbat meals are cooked and delivered by volunteers  to elderly participants who can’t cook and/or don’t have close family nearby to host them for Shabbat. Another resource through SBH Jersey Shore is a medical gemach in which equipment is loaned out, such as wheelchairs, canes, crutches, bed rails, etc. This is a volunteer-run program, which happily accepts medical equipment donations. The newest initiative for seniors that SBH of the Jersey Shore has started is Lunch n’ Learn. This program is for community men aged 60 and up. They join Hillel High School students for a monthly class and lunch. Each class features a different community rabbi.

Some recent successful events at SBH Jersey Shore include: Medicare 2019: Get the Facts;

Fall Prevention: How to Stay Safe This Winter; and The Five Documents Your Parents Must Have.

“We are trying to create a lot of programming because we see such a profound need for these courses for both seniors and caregivers,” said new Senior Coordinator Sarah Azar. “SBH Jersey Shore want to be a one-stop-shop for seniors and their families for recreational, educational, and health-related purposes.”

For information on the mentioned programs and more please contact Sarah at (732) 531-1117 x114.

Safe Travels – Tips for Winter Vacation 2020

ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS

Safe Travels, sound familiar?

I use this phrase every time I wish my friends, family, and colleagues a good trip.

Of all days to share travel tips with you, I am writing this article on December 1st, the last day of the Thanksgiving weekend, and what was expected to be the busiest travel day for the U.S. airline industry.  Over three million passengers were estimated to be flying today!

And that only includes travelers going on planes.  What about those using cars, buses, and trains?

As I watched the news, I recognized that safe travels was at the top of everyone’s wish list and was the #1 priority.

Let’s talk about integrating safe travels into our planning for winter break and have a safe, healthy, and fun vacation for the entire family.

Before we dive into tips and tools, I want to emphasize the importance of academic breaks.

We all need time off to decompress including time to do nothing.  That’s right, nothing.  Nothing or “down” time means pausing to take a breath, relax, and smell the roses.  In our fast-paced world, we are constantly busy.  Unfortunately, doing nothing or taking a break in today’s hypermodern society, is often viewed as negative and is associated with nonproductivity. Studies, however, have shown that it is vital for our mental and physical health to take time to unplug, sit still, and do nothing. Doing nothing can also spur new insights and creativity.  Our children are overmanaged and overscheduled much more than we were in the sixties, seventies, and eighties.

Be mindful about not cutting short their childhood years by continuously pressuring them to get the best grades and be accepted to the most prominent schools and/or excel in  extra-curriculars.

Popular Safe Travel Procedures

Doing your research, making copies of important documents, notifying the flight attendant of any medical issues, being aware of your surroundings, keeping your valuables in a hotel safe, updating your family back home, and being wary of public Wi-Fi.

Traveling with small children can be particularly stressful and can trigger anxiety in both adults and small children.

Therefore, it’s crucial to plan, prepare, and manage expectations before setting off on your trip. Family meetings help strengthen the family bond, improve communication, and reduce the unease and that feeling of not being in control. They can be used as a vehicle to get everyone on the same page and manage everyone’s expectations, including the parents.

Engage Your Children

Carve out time for a family meeting (no phones allowed but do serve refreshments).

Ask your sons and daughters to assist in whatever planning remains to be done.  They can do research and talk to friends and classmates. Allowing children to participate in the decision-making process gives them skin in the game and builds their confidence and self-esteem.  It can also help to ensure an enjoyable vacation.

Inquire about concerns and expectations for the upcoming vacation. Address any concerns and anxieties that your children may have about traveling. Identify their triggers. Is it going through security, that sets them off? Or is it boarding the plane, take-off, or landing? Depending on the severity, you may want to talk to a professional about how to deal with these issues.  Your children may be worried about unforeseen events and might have what-if questions for you.  For example, what happens if I get separated from the family, or if the weather is bad? It’s important to reassure your children with remedies for these what-if scenarios before you head out.

Ask them what their favorite or positive distractions are that they would like to bring with them. They may like video games, coloring books, or crossword puzzles.

You might want to assign an older child to a younger sibling as a travel buddy.  These tools will help your kids move away from negative thoughts to positive ones.

Find out what everyone’s expectations are about the trip.  Parents and kids who have performed research can contribute brochures and information about the vacation destination.  You can create a wish list by brainstorming, and please remember that Mom and Dad get a vote.  Parents stay in control by setting realistic and affordable guidelines.

Communicate 

 Information is power and access to the right information will reduce anxieties and facilitate safe travels. The night before your trip have another family meeting, presenting your children with a detailed overview of your travels. For example, on Sunday morning at 7:00am, Uncle David will drive us to JFK airport. We will check our luggage, go through security, board the plane, and the flight will take four hours.  After we land and retrieve our luggage, a bus will pick up us up to take us to the hotel.

Teachable Moments

Teachable moments, those times when your children have an opportunity to learn something new, don’t only occur in a classroom.  An airport, and a new destination can offer many teachable moments.  Bring along some small notebooks, pencils, and crayons. A notebook can be used as a travel journal (younger children can draw in them). Some of your kids may enjoy writing about their trip and the journal will keep them busy on the flights and during the vacation. It will also provide them with material for their “what I did on winter break” essays.

Let your kids know if they will be in a different time zone when they arrive. You can also educate them about the history and culture of your vacation destination if you are visiting a new state or country. Or your older children can do that particular research and share it with the family. More information and preparation lowers anxiety and leads to learning and a successful vacation.  Keep it short and simple for younger children.

Set guidelines in advance regarding cell phone use, taking pictures and videos, and limits on eating junk food and buying souvenirs and gifts. We don’t want our kids to miss beautiful views and other experiences by spending too much time taking pictures or on their phones. Encourage them to learn more about their surroundings while you are taking in the sights.

Prepare a Travel and Packing Checklist

To-do lists and checklists have helped me manage my personal and work life since I was taught to prepare one at my first job.

Have you ever forgotten your child’s antibiotic when you were already halfway to the airport? I have.

Review your checklist and tick off items as you complete them before you head off on your trip (see sidebar).

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Give each child their own carry-on or small backpack and pack their favorite snacks, if permitted, their “positive distractions,” special comfort objects (please don’t forget the blankie) and a few games and activities to keep them engaged on the plane, train, or in the car.  Mom, please put some extra small toys, paper, pens and crayons, snacks, band-aids, and Tylenol (remember, if you are flying, liquid Tylenol must be placed in a small Zip lock) in your carry-on.  Dad, please carry copies of important documents in yours.

Relax

Please be mindful when you book tours and excursions.  Be sure to allot time for pure relaxation, e.g. sitting by the pool or playing a board game. We all need a break from the stress associated with school routines and responsibilities and our jobs. If you overdo the touring and wake up at dawn every morning, you may need another vacation when you come home!

Remember that vacation is a good thing and a blessing.  Keep that positive mindset and enjoy!  Safe travels!

Recommended Checklist Items

  • Review baggage restrictions and other significant information, e.g. arrival times at airport, bus, or train, and transfer arrangements upon landing. If you are a visual person, print out a map of your destination or email yourself the links to maps and all other details.
  • Arrange for cell phone use overseas.
  • Buy foreign currency in advance if needed.
  • Notify your credit card company that you will be traveling abroad.
  • Consider bringing hard copies of travel documents (including passport #’s, flights, hotels, and tour reservations) in the event your phone or laptop crashes, gets lost, or you don’t have Wi-Fi.
  • Check in for your flights online the day before to avoid long waits at the airport. Consider applying for TSA pre-check (shorter security lines, no removal of shoes, belts, laptops).
  • Are all medications and medical devices packed in your respective carry-ons? What if your luggage doesn’t make it to your destination upon landing?  Pack anything you might need soon after you arrive in your carry-on luggage.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

Riddles – January 2020

Riddle: Truck Stop

SUBMITTED BY: Alan B.

A truck is stuck under a bridge and the driver cannot get it out. A man walks by and stops to help. He easily gets the truck unstuck. How did he do it?

Last Month’s Riddle: Flower Garden

Karen planted sunflower seeds in her  back garden. Every day, the number of flowers doubles. If it takes 52 days for the flowers to fill the garden, how many days would it take for them to fill half the garden?

Solution: Answer: It would take 51 days. If the number of flowers doubles every day, half the garden would be full the day before, on the 51st day.

Solved by: Yaakov Beyda, H. Soleimani, Elimelech Heller, The Blum Family, Sesar Faham, Murad Faham, Blimi Yoffe, Esther Gadeh, Belle Gadeh, Ikey Gadeh,  Rena Wahba, Yosef Wahba, and Ness Vachnine.

Junior Riddle: Bat and Ball

SUBMITTED BY: Maurice  K.

A bat and a ball cost $1.10. The bat costs one dollar more than the ball. How much does the ball cost?

 Last month’s Junior Riddle: What’s In A Name?

Billy’s mother had 5 children. The first was named Lala, the second was named Lele, the third was named Lili, and the fourth was named Lolo. What was the fifth child named?

Solution: Billy!

Solved by: Yaakov Beyda, E. Lousky, Mike Sutton, Fay Chesir, Teddy Mamrout, Haim S., Elimelech Heller, David Yazdi, The Blum Family, Rosie Husney, Blimi Yoffe, Channah Warren, Claudia Harary, Esther Gadeh, Belle Gadeh, Ikey Gadeh, Lauren Batesh, Amy Batesh, Reuvain Schnurmann, Belle S., Wendy Levy, Diana Azrak, Naomi Shalom, Claudine and Jacob Soffer, Merlene Esses, Miriam Harary, Ness Vachnine, Ikey Greenstein, Isaac Salama, and Jack Abadi.

 

 

 

 

Different Types of Heating: What’s Best for You?

Karen Behfar

Now that we’ve officially hit the cold winter weather, there’s really one thing and one thing only on most (if not all) of our minds – HEAT.  When looking into different heating options for your home you’ll want to know what choice makes the most sense for your home and your family.  The choices you make in terms of heating a home or building can lead to a lot of different impacts in terms of cost, home construction, and management. Here’s a profile on some of the common options and their benefits.

Radiant Heat – There are a lot of different sources you can use to take advantage of radiant heat, which is essentially transferring infrared waves around the home. This can range from using a wood stove to an electric heater to radiators connected to a central boiler. Major benefits are the fact that it’s clean, easy to maintain, and also allows you to zone certain areas of your house based on your heating needs. This costs around $11 per square foot on average.

Central Heating – The benefits of opting for this system include paying less on your bills, being able to heat up parts of your home instantly rather than waiting with radiant heat, as well as lower carbon dioxide emissions. $4,000 to $20,000 is the cost window that has been reported for installation. There can be a large swing depending on your needs and property size.

Gas Heat – Compared to electric heating, gas is a fraction of the price, which is instantly appealing for those on a tight budget. Along with this, it’s also efficient to run, and is reliable. Since natural gas pipelines run underground, you don’t have to worry about rough weather affecting your heating. Expect an $1,100 to $1,300 average cost.

Oil Heat – Oil heat is considered one of the safest and most efficient methods when it comes to heating a home. Compared to other fuels, it’s not combustible and is naturally stable in terms of upkeep. Oil heat flames also burn hotter than natural gas, which can be an asset in cold climates. Expect a $2,000 to $2,300 average cost.

Water Heaters – Modern water heaters are not only efficient, but are also relatively compact in terms of size, which can be an asset to smaller properties. They are also extremely easy to operate and adjust as needed. They generally have different zonings so every zone/floor can be a different temperature as needed.

The Truth Behind Federal Pacific Electric Panels

Part of being a homeowner is wanting to be able to protect yourself and your family no matter what arises. Naturally, the idea of your home itself being a potential threat to your family isn’t something you want to think about, but this is the case with many older homes across America and Canada that have electric panels installed by Federal Pacific.

The major issue here revolves around the Stab-Lok circuit breakers, commonly present in homes that are built with Federal Pacific panels between the 1950s and 1990s. The major issue with these is the fact that, since the 1980s, multiple tests conducted on the breakers have shown that roughly one in four of them are defective and won’t properly trip off. The role of breakers in a panel is to protect your home from electrical issues by tripping, that is shutting down power to the circuit in the event of power surges or circuit overload. If this does not happen, you suddenly have a huge increased risk of fire in the panel and in your home.

What’s particularly insidious about this issue is the fact that the panel can work perfectly fine for most of its lifetime, only to develop this issue when the breaker is actually needed. At the time the news story first broke in the 1980s, the Consumer Product Safety Commission never actually issued a recall, and closed its investigation due to budgetary issues, despite determining there was a problem. Because of this, homeowners with older properties should check their panels to see if they were installed by Federal Pacific between 1950-1990.

Changing the panel can cost as low as $1,200 approximately, but it’s super important and is many times overlooked.

 

Habits of Highly Effective People – PART II

Tammy Sassoon, M.S. ED

In last month’s column we discussed the first 3 habits in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which are about taking control of your own life. Habits 4, 5, and 6 are about enjoying healthy relationships with others, and habit 7 is about taking care of yourself so you can live habits 1-6 with strength and joy. Below is a brief summary of habits 4 through 7.

Habit 4: Think Win­Win

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing – that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Like, as if there is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me;

it’s not fair, so I’m going to make sure you don’t get any more. We don’t have to play life’s game that way because we know that Hashem has enough resources and success for everyone.

Win-win sees life as a cooperative game, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are satisfying to you AND to the other person.

Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Communication is one of the most important skills in life. We spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening?

Most people seek first to be understood; they want to get their point across. And in doing so, they may unintentionally ignore the other person completely, pretend that they’re listening, selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation, or attentively focus on only the words being said, but miss the meaning entirely. So why does this happen? Because most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. We listen to the other person as we prepare in our minds what we are going to say, the questions we are going to ask, etc. And consequently, we decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating.

People who seek first to understand have much better communication skills and learn much more than most people who seek first to be understood.

Habit 6: Synergize

To put it simply, synergy means “two heads are better than one.” To synergize one must make a  habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems. Synergy lets us discover jointly things we are much less likely to discover by ourselves. It is the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. One plus one equals three, or six, or sixty – you name it.

When people begin to interact together genuinely, and they’re open to each other’s influence, they begin to gain new insight. The capability of inventing new approaches is increased exponentially because of differences.

Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with you so you could all get along? Differences should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add zest to life.

Habit 7: “Sharpen the Saw”

If you take the time to sharpen your saw it obviously works more efficiently. This means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have – yourself. It means having a balanced program for self-­renewal in all areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual.

As you renew yourself in each of these areas, you create growth and change in your life. “Sharpen the Saw” keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish.

Study and practice these 7 Habits in order to help you reach your goals, and enjoy the process as you are on life’s journey.