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Between Car Pools – The Kid-Approved Healthyish No Mixer Oatmeal Cookie (Egg Free)

This is a kid-favorite breakfast treat (And guess what moms of allergic kids – there also happens to be no eggs or nuts!). All it takes is one bowl and about six minutes.

Everyone loves Quaker oatmeal cookies, but with a couple of sticks of margarine and the need to take out a mixer, we get hesitant. Rather, this is the oatmeal cookie that’s the go-to nowadays. They’re just as delicious and you can make them as wholesome – or not – as you like. We’ve made these with both white flour and white whole wheat flour, and honestly, the kids really didn’t know the difference. We’ve also used both coconut oil and regular oil. If you want to try to substitute the sugars for unrefined versions, I haven’t tried that, but you’re welcome to try. These substitutions, of course, don’t make a cookie healthy or light, but it does make it feel like a little bit of a better choice.

It takes about six minutes to get out all the ingredients and mix them together, which is another reason why I love this recipe. Just dump all the ingredients in the bowl. Just make sure to use that cookie scoop, it’s the easiest way to get this cookie dough onto the baking sheet.

Kid Approved Healthyish Oatmeal Cookie

1½ cups quick cooking oats
¾ cup flour OR white whole wheat flour
¼ cup sugar
½ cup brown sugar
¼ teaspoon baking soda
¼ teaspoon baking powder
A nice pinch of salt
1 teaspoon vanilla
½ cup oil OR coconut oil, melted
6 tablespoons milk (any type/ soy milk fine)
½ cup unsweetened shredded coconut

  1. Preheat oven to 375⁰F.
  2. In a bowl, combine oats, flour, sugars, baking soda, baking powder, and salt. Add in
    vanilla, oil, coconut, and milk until you’re comfortable with how the cookie dough is
    binding. Mix in coconut.
  3. Using a cookie scoop (I used a 1 tablespoon scoop), scoop dough onto a lined baking
    sheet. Press down slightly with your palm. Bake for 8-10 minutes, until golden brown at
    the edges and lightly golden on top. The cookies will be very soft when they first come
    out of the oven. If you like them crispier, you can bake for 10-12 minutes. Let cool for a
    couple minutes, then you’ll be able to pick up and enjoy!

 

Yield: 28 cookies

The Case – A Cash Advance

Solomon extended a five-year loan of $200,000 to his brother-in-law Danny back in 2018. The terms of the loan included monthly payments of $5,000 for 60 months. Although the loan was extended to Danny’s LLC, Solomon required Danny to sign legal documentation making him personally responsible for the funds. After making his monthly payments for two years, Danny expressed concern that he is paying interest of $100,000 to Solomon over the course of their five-year agreement. Solomon dismissed Danny’s concern, explaining that money extended to a corporation is not subject to Jewish law restricting interest. The two appeared before our Bet Din for clarification of the law and signed on a binding of arbitration to comply with our ruling.

Can Danny continue to pay his monthly payments uninterrupted? If not, what is to be done with the balance of the funds owed? Is Solomon required to forfeit collecting money over the amount of $200,000 even though two years already passed? How should the Bet Din rule and why?

Torah Law

According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch collecting interest on a loan is a severe Torah violation.  A Bet Din will require a lender to fulfill his Torah obligation and return the collected interest to the borrower. This ruling applies to any form of interest paid in violation of Torah law. As per interest paid in violation of rabbinical law the above ruling does not apply.

Leading halachic authorities rule that money lent to a corporation is not subject to Torah interest laws. The underlying reason for this exemption is because the borrower does not have any personal liability for the loan extended, the money is not viewed as a loan but rather as an investment. By Torah law, if a borrower is not personally liable, the money extended is not viewed as a loan. Hence, any dividend paid on account of the money received is not considered an interest payment but rather a return on investment.

This ruling is premised on the fact that should the corporation file for bankruptcy the owner is not personally responsible for the monies received, as they were borrowed by the corporation.

If a one personally accepts liability for a loan extended to a corporation, all Torah interest laws are applicable.

According to Torah law, if a loan with a stipulated interest clause was wrongfully extended, all paid interest is applied to pay off the principal. In short, a borrower may compel a lender to calculate his interest payments as a credit towards the unpaid balance of the principal. This remedy is obviously only relevant when the total sum of money paid by the borrower is less than the amount of the original loan. If the total payments including interest were made in excess of the principal, the additional funds must be returned to the borrower.

Contemporary halachic authorities suggest the following solution to resolve the violation of an active loan accruing interest. This solution is available for those who were unaware of the violation and wish to rectify their breach of Torah law. As aforementioned, all interest paid is first credited to pay off the principal. Thereafter, the borrower returns the outstanding balance in its entirety to the lender to pay off the original loan. The lender then promptly reissues the loan under the provisions of a proper heter iska. The heter iska document enables the lender to lawfully collect his profitable monthly payments for the newly extended loan. Additionally, it is permitted for the lender to structure this heter iska with a higher monthly percentage rate in order to receive the same monthly payments he originally received from the borrower.

 VERDICT: Reissuing the Loan

Our Bet Din restricted Solomon from continuing to collect monthly payments from Danny. Our Bet Din applied the two years of accrued interest to the principal loan and determined that the outstanding balance is currently $80,000. Since Solomon and Danny were unaware that it is strictly forbidden to lend with interest to a corporation with personal liability, our Bet Din implemented the decision of leading halachic authorities on the matter. We first instructed Danny to gather funds to repay the outstanding balance of $80,000. Once the loan was paid, we instructed Solomon to promptly reissue a loan of $80,000 to Danny. However, this time prior to the transfer of the loan, they signed a proper heter iska document. The heter iska document was structured in a way which enabled Danny to lawfully resume paying his five thousand-dollar monthly payments for three years.

Before Solomon and Danny signed the heter iska our Bet Din spent the time and energy to explain to them the rules and regulations of a heter iska agreement. By doing so we insured that Danny’s monthly payments were not halachically viewed as interest.

 

YOU BE THE JUDGE

The Rightful Heir

Jack wrote a handwritten last will and testament back in 2007. Upon his passing in 2019, the will was found with Jack’s papers in his safety deposit box.  The will was not prepared by a lawyer nor was it notarized or signed by witnesses. Jack simply fixed his signature to the bottom of a briefly written statement. In the will, Jack offered to gift his private home to the child that provides full time room and board for his son Joey, a child with special needs. In 2007, when Jack wrote the will, his only daughter was not yet married. In 2019, prior to Jack’s passing, his daughter, who was by then married, took Joey into her home for nearly six months before sending him off to a facility that provides for all of Joey’s needs. Jack’s daughter and son-in-law presented the handwritten document to our Bet Din claiming that their father legally gifted them his home since they provided room and board for Joey. Jack’s two sons acknowledged that they were aware of the document their father wrote before their sister provided room and board for their brother Joey, but they were nevertheless unwilling to transfer the property over to their sister.  The two brothers defended that it was not their father’s intent to gift his daughter the home for a mere six months of room and board. They explained that back in 2007 the circumstances were different and there was a real concern for Joey’s welfare.

Who should inherit the father’s home?

How should the Bet Din rule and why?

 

 

School in the Shadow of COVID-19 – A look at how our community yeshivot are dealing with the coronavirus

Mozelle Forman

The COVID-19 pandemic is primed to make the 2020-21 school year as challenging – if not more so – than the last.

The dreaded virus padlocked nearly every school building last spring in an historic disruption of education. Schools were forced to shift overnight to distance learning, while parents and students struggled with the logistics and limitations of technology. The virus caught the world unawares, and throughout the summer, a fierce debate raged about the safety of opening the schools, versus the danger to the social and emotional needs of children should remote learning be mandated. And, like everything else connected to COVID 19, there are no hard and fast answers.

To Open or Not to Open?

The latest data on the pros and cons of opening schools, despite the recent rise in Covid cases, falls heavily on the side of reopening.

Both the World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Academy of Pediatrics “strongly advocates that all policy considerations for the coming school year should start with a goal of having students physically present in school.” The CDC states: “Aside from a child’s home, no other setting has more influence on a child’s health and well-being than their school.”

The sudden lockdown of schools in the spring led to numerous social, emotional and academic disruptions to students despite the schools’ best efforts to shift to online learning. For many students, long breaks from in-person education are harmful to academic achievement.  For example, the adverse educational effects of summer breaks, known as the “summer slide,” are well-documented. Students can lose as much as 39 percent of their academic gains over the summer months. The prospect of losing several additional months of schooling, besides summer vacation, would likely have an especially severe impact on kids’ learning.

The CDC concludes that all “the available evidence provides reason to believe that in-person schooling is in the best interest of students, particularly when appropriate mitigation measures similar to those implemented at essential workplaces” are put into place.

These include, but are not limited to, social distancing, mask wearing, the ability to implement contact tracing, and enhanced sanitizing and disinfecting.

Citing scientific studies, the CDC states that “there have been few reports of children being the primary source of COVID-19 transmission among family members. This is consistent with data from both virus and antibody testing, suggesting that children are not the primary drivers of COVID-19 spread in schools or in the community.”

Additionally, children’s development of social and emotional skills is directly related to being physically in school. In an in-person school environment, children more easily learn how to develop and maintain friendships, how to behave in groups, and how to interact and form relationships with people outside of their family.

Community schools have risen to the challenge, committing themselves to meeting our children’s needs in the best possible way while ensuring to avoid, or at least minimize, the spread of the deadly COVID-19 virus.

“We Have to be Realistic”

One challenge schools are confronting is recovering the learning that was lost during the last several months of the 2019-20 academic year.

Mrs. Audrey Calvo, Assistant Principal of YDE Boys Middle School, acknowledges that remote learning in the spring may have affected the academic progress of students, but he believes that “the entire world is a little behind, so we are all at the same point, and eventually, all students will catch up.”

Standardized Achievement tests usually given at the end of the school year to assess progress were not administered at the end of the last school year, but are expected to resume in the spring of this year. For the current year, many teachers have been using assessment tools during the first few weeks of school to determine students’ progress – or lack thereof of – in order to revise curriculum. As one teacher put it, “We have to be realistic, [and realize] that we won’t get to everything on the usual schedule, and not get anxious about that.”

At Yeshivat Keter Torah, students are having two sections of math per day, to review and get caught up. Stephanie Kurtz, third grade teacher at Magen David Yeshivah, anticipates that there will be gaps in the achievement. “For the most part, we will still be teaching on grade level, and if a student needs more support, we will provide it.”

Safety First

Changes to classrooms and common areas were implemented, and some non-traditional learning spaces have been repurposed as classrooms.

For instance, a thermal temperature scanner has been installed at the entrance to the Hillel Yeshiva building, water fountains have been replaced with automatic and touchless water bottle filling stations at Magen David, and Keter Torah is now using the midrash to accommodate social distancing for its 8th grade.  At Hillel, signs and directional guidelines (providing for one-way traffic where appropriate) and hand-sanitizing stations in common areas and in each classroom have been added, and the ventilation systems have been upgraded.

All the schools have added partitions, either to students’ desks or between the rows, with YDE adding a partition in front of the teachers’ desks, as well.  Mrs. Calvo says, “This is a necessary step, but as good teachers do not sit at their desks, teachers will be wearing masks throughout the day.”

The CDC and WHO firmly believe that mask wearing reduces the spread of the virus, and all schools are adhering to this precaution, though there are different criteria for different age groups.  Mask wearing on busses and in common areas is mandatory at all schools. Some schools require masks in the classroom all day with scheduled mask breaks, while other schools are dispensing with masks in the classroom when physical barriers are available. Some educators, while understanding the need for the masks, see a downside as facial expressions, a key element in connecting with each other, will be obscured. One Rebbe at Keter Torah explained to parents that while he would be adhering to strict social distancing in the classroom, expanding on the six-foot requirement, he would not be wearing a mask in the classroom, because he felt that students would not be able to gauge his reactions to their behaviors and see his pleasure when they participate.

Mrs. Calvo elaborates, “Although I am worried about my own health and welfare, and wear a mask and a face shield when visiting the classrooms, nothing can replace the joy a child feels when I smile at him and say, ‘David, 100 on the math test – way to go!’ The lack of facial connection will be a great loss this school year.”

Cohorting

In order to limit students’ exposure to each other, to adhere to requirements for social distancing, and to manage contact tracing, all schools have adopted a “cohort” model for students.  According to the CDC, cohorting (sometimes called “podding”) is “a new term for a strategy that schools may use to limit contact between students and staff as part of their efforts to limit transmission of SARS-CoV-2 (the virus that causes COVID-19). These strategies work by keeping groups of students – and sometimes staff – together over the course of a pre-determined period of time. Ideally, the students and staff within a cohort will only have physical proximity with others in the same cohort.” This need for cohorts has necessitated many changes in the structure of classes.

The Magen David website explains the shift to single gender classes in grades 1-8.  “In grades 4-8, we have typically separated boys and girls for Judaic studies. This year, with the need for cohorts, we will be keeping the genders separate for general studies, as well.”

Most schools have adopted the policy of students remaining in the same classroom each day, and where applicable, teachers rotate between cohorts. While in the past, classes have been separated according to skill level, at MDY and Hillel, middle school classes will be tracked rather than leveled for individual subject areas. This means that students will spend the day with the same cohort for all subjects, instead of switching groups every period.

Another major challenge is transportation, especially in light of the delay in the opening of NYC public schools. When bus service commences, all riders will be required to wear masks, and, as the Department of Education’s Office of Pupil Transportation states, social distancing guidelines must be enforced on the bus, significantly reducing the number of students who can be accommodated on one bus. This means that many more parents will have to carpool their children. Magen David’s advice to parents vis-a vis carpools is to adhere to class cohorts as closely as possible. In an announcement to parents, the school pleaded, “Please understand that in mixed cohort carpools, children will be considered ‘close contacts’ and, if there is a positive case within the carpool, each student in that carpool will be required to quarantine.”

The Question No One Wants to Ask

The question on everyone’s mind, but which many prefer to avoid, is, how many positive cases will warrant closing down again?

And the answer is an unequivocal, nobody knows for sure.

The CDC offers this advice: “Schools should be prepared for COVID-19 cases and exposure to occur in their facilities. Collaborating with local health officials will continue to be important once students are back to school, as they can provide regular updates about the status of COVID-19 in the community and help support and maintain the health and wellbeing of students, teachers, and staff.”

Magen David’s policy when becoming aware of a confirmed case is to identify close contacts (within six feet, for ten minutes or more) of a person with a probable or confirmed case of COVID-19, and to notify the NYC Department of Health in order to gather information for the purpose of contact tracing and resuming normal school operations as allowable by law.

The Hillel Yeshiva website clearly and succinctly outlines the policy: “The school’s new temperature screening system will flag anyone who exhibits a fever of 100 degrees Fahrenheit or greater, and that individual will immediately be sent to the Nurse’s office, where a second temperature will be taken. If the second temperature is also above 100 degrees Fahrenheit, that student will be sent home.” The protocol proceeds as follows:

  1. PERSON A: Any person who tests positive for COVID-19

Must quarantine for ten calendar days (or the amount of days then currently prescribed by the CDC) AND submit a negative test prior to returning to in-person school.

  1. PERSON B: Defined as an individual who has been within six feet of a confirmed COVID-19 case for a prolonged period of time (approximately 15 minutes), whether inside or outside of school.
  2. Close Contacts: In the event of a positive COVID-19 case in a cohort, that cohort (i.e. class, and including any close contacts on the bus) will transition to remote learning for ten calendar days. It is recommended that these individuals get tested for COVID as well, although a negative COVID test will not be sufficient reason to return to school before the end of the 10-day period.
  3. Family Members: Any family members (i.e. siblings) of a positive COVID-19 case (Person A) will also be required to quarantine and learn remotely for ten calendar days. Family members will be required to wait this ten-day period AND submit a negative test result before returning to school. Unless a sibling exhibits symptoms and/or tests positive as well, his or her class will remain in live session.
  4. PERSON C: Defined as contact with a Person B.

This would include the class members of a sibling of a person who tests positive for COVID-19. No special precautions are necessary for this group.

As much as reasonably possible, the plan – and the hope – is that entire schools will not have to be permanently shut-down. But if necessary, administrators and teachers alike are confident they will be able to accommodate students more effectively than they did in the spring.

A Sigh of Relief

Parents are experiencing an overwhelming feeling of relief that their children have returned to in-school learning.

Jeanne Eliahou, mother of four children, pre-school to 7th grade, says that “keeping the children home has definitely had a negative impact on their academic achievement. The stress of the children being home all day, without any social outlets for them or breaks for parents, has taken a toll. I understand that for some children there is a higher risk of being in school, but for the most part I think it is best for most children.”

A teacher with elementary school age children of her own believes that Zoom is not effective for learning. “There is a lot for me to wrap my head around as a teacher and parent – we are taking a necessary risk – and part of me is sad to see how it has to be. But it is vital that we get on with our lives as safely as possible.”

Mrs. Kurtz presented the following report after her first day of teaching in Magen David:  “I noticed the typical first-day-of-school jitters – meeting the new teacher, learning about the classroom – not a ‘global pandemic’ fear. Overall, children are very resilient, and I believe they will be fine.”

With the safety measures put into place by our community schools, and with Hashem’s blessing, we hope and pray for everyone’s continued good health. We proudly salute and warmly thank our schools’ administrators, faculty and other staff members for their heroic efforts to fulfill the sacred mission of educating our precious children under these very difficult conditions, and we wish them and all students much happiness, health and success during what is certain to be a most unforgettable academic year.

 

Mabrouk – October 2020

Births – Baby Boy

David & Gabrielle Cohen

Mr. & Mrs. Aaron Manopola

Victor & Mirelle Kameo

Mr. & Mrs. Uri Cohen

 

Births – Baby Girl

Mr. & Mrs. Isaac Chrem

Mr. & Mrs. Benny Srour

Mr. & Mrs. Eliav Scaba

Mr. & Mrs. Max Sutton

 

Bar Mitzvahs

Avraham, son of Rabbi Mechael and Esther Semah

David, son of Rabbi Menachem and Rachel Haber

David, son of Abie and Linda Hakim

Yaakov, son of Avi and Victoria Dwek

Morris, son of Teddy and Ruthie Srour

Jojo, son of Richie and Merav Sayegh

 

Engagements

Jake Winitsky to Jacqueline Mamiye

Avraham Sutton to Miri Safdieh

Abie Chera to Bracha Seror

Solly Torkieh to Rena Weitzman

Weddings

Sammy Habbaz to Rakefet Marciano

Isaac Eastman to Gayle Zagha

Eliot Betesh to Linda Maleh

Isaac Kameo to Yvette Allaham

 

Dear Jido – October 2020

Dear Jido,

I recently retired so that I could help take care of my three-year-old granddaughter since daycare is so costly and her parents live from paycheck to paycheck. I have my grandchild Monday to Thursday, six hours a day. She rarely eats much, is very active, and now she will not nap. I am exhausted. I am out of ideas on how to keep her busy all day. I am 58, and lately I feel like I’m 88. Help!

Signed,

Exhausted

 

Dear Exhausted,

Famous story told by one of our Rabbis –

Man comes home from work, his wife is lounging on the couch and the house is “flying.”  Kids are a mess, toys are all over, supper is nowhere to be found. He asks in amazement, “What’s going on?” She calmly replies – “You know how you always ask me what do I do all day? Well, today, I didn’t do it.”

Well, today, women, mothers, grandmothers are being asked to do so much more. I’m thinking of starting a movement called “Mothers Are People Too.”  Not that fathers aren’t also, but it seems that over the last few months, the biggest burden has fallen on mothers (and, by extension, grandmothers).  They have become the teachers, drivers, schleppers, babysitters, innovators, entertainers, mentors, and referees for children of all ages. This is, of course, in addition to their everyday duties of mother and wife.

It’s not surprising that you are zonked.

There are many young families who find it necessary for both of the parents to work in order to make ends meet. And yet, somehow, Hashem provides.

I suggest you discuss with your daughter that the job is more taxing than you expected. Offer to reduce your hours, assist with the costs of a babysitter/play group or work out a dollar “support” plan that phases out over time (now that you are retired). It was a wonderful gesture on your part to agree to assist, but it is not your responsibility to bring up your grandchild.

Ease yourself out of the position. Your daughter will understand. And if she doesn’t, you can always become the charter member of the M.A.P.T. initiative.

Jido

The Lighter Side – September 2020

Kids These Days

Solomon was complaining to his rabbi about how difficult a time he was having in disciplining his teenage son. “When I was a kid and I did something wrong, my parents sent me to my room without supper. But my son has his own smartphone, computer, and video game system in his room!”

“So how do you handle it?” the rabbi asked.

“I send him to MY room!”

Martin K.

Engine Trouble

A large two-engine train was crossing New York and at the helm was a train engineer who had recently moved from Israel – Itzik Hadari. After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down.

“No problem,” Itzik said and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down and the train came to a standstill.

Itzik decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly.”

Charlie F.

American Ingenuity

A do-it-yourselfer walked into a hardware store knowing exactly what he needed. “I’m looking for a one inch flat washer,” he said.

“Sure, we’ve got that” the clerk answered as he reached into a box under the counter. “That will be 15 cents.”

“Fifteen cents for a washer? Are you crazy?” the customer yelled. “Forget it. I’ll just drill a hole in a quarter and make my own!”

Abe C.

The Price Is Right

Freddie bought a new fridge and put his old fridge in his front yard with a big sign:

“Free. Good Condition. You want it, you take it.”

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone showing a bit of interest. So he decided to try something else. He changed the sign to read: “Fridge for sale, only $50.”

The next day someone stole it!

Eddie G.

Two Words

It was the first day of school and thankfully kids were back in school after a long extended summer. Mrs. Greenberg, the 10th grade English teacher, was setting some of her ground rules. “There are two words I don’t allow in my class. One is gross and the other is cool.”

From the back of the room Carl called out, “So, what are the words?”

Dave H.

Sympathy Pain

Cindy found young Phillip sitting on the stairs crying.

“What’s the matter, Phillip?” she asked.

“It’s my big brother Jason,” the boy sobbed. “He hit his finger with a hammer.”

“Well that’s a shame,” Cindy said, “but why are you crying?”

“Because,” Philip explained, “at first I laughed!”

Jack V. Grazi

Human Resources

Jack was looking for his daily newspaper. Unable to find it after searching for 30 seconds, he called his wife to help him.

His wife instantly picked up the blanket on the couch and found the newspaper sitting right under it.

Slightly annoyed at being interrupted from her own duties in the kitchen, his wife told him, “Jack, be resourceful!”

“I was,” he replied. “I called you.”

Ezra A.

The Security Paradox

While Susan stood on line at the airport to check in her baggage, a security agent was questioning each passenger. When he got to Susan, he asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?”

Susan replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?”

The agent smiled knowingly, nodded, and said, “That’s why we ask.”

Elaine D.

Taking Notes

Little Danny was having a tough time adjusting to first grade. At least twice a week his parents would receive a note from his teacher outlining his latest infractions. Finally, his parents sat him down and said, “Danny, we’ve had enough! We don’t want to get any more notes from your teacher!”

“Well… alright,” Danny replied. “Do you want to tell her or should I?”

Lisa T.

Guided Tour

The Edelstein family from New York was getting a guided tour through one of the ancient crusader fortresses in the land of Israel.

“This place,” their tour guide told them, “is almost one thousand years old. Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years.”

“Wow,” said Mrs. Edelstein, “they must have the same landlord as us.”

Leslie B.

When Turtles Fly

Deep within a forest, a little turtle lived together with a family of birds for many years. One day he began to climb a tree, in an attempt to fly. After tremendous effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.

Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. “Dear,” she chirped, “I think it’s time to tell him he’s adopted.”

Shmuel L.

A Complicated Order

Mr. Stein went to the kosher meat restaurant by his house and the head waiter came over and greeted him with a smile.

“Good morning sir, may I take your order?” the waiter asked.

“Yes,” replied Mr. Stein. “I’d like two boiled eggs, one of them so under cooked it’s runny, and the other so over cooked it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, a steak that has been left out so it gets a bit on the cold side; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; margarine straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak coffee, lukewarm.”

“That’s a complicated order sir,” said the bewildered waiter. “It might be quite difficult.”

Mr. Stein replied, “Oh? I don’t understand – that’s what I got yesterday!”

Rena P.

The Lost Balloonist

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces his altitude and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?”

The man below says, “Yes, you’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 50 feet above this field.”

“You must be an engineer,” says the balloonist.

“I am,” the man replies. “How did you know?”

“Well,” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but it’s of no use to me.”

The man below says, “You must be in management.”

“I am,” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well,” says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but somehow now it’s my fault.”

Tutu Mulu

Riddles – September 2020

RIDDLE: Bike Repair
SUBMITTED BY: Valerie S.
If four people can repair four bicycles in four hours, how many bicycles can eight people repair in eight hours?

Last Month’s Riddle: Stately Anagrams
Can you arrange the letters in the four odd phrases below to reveal the names of U.S. states? Ignore the spaces – they’re only there to confuse you!
COOL ROAD
A FRAIL COIN
SAW NOTHING
IN NAVY PLANES

SOLUTION: Colorado, California, Washington, Pennsylvania
Solved by: Ezra Netanel, Yosef G., Shimon Abitbol, Sarah Cohen, Ruthie Matalon, Alex Saka, Viviane Dwek, Joseph Wahba, and Ikey & Belle Gadeh.

JUNIOR RIDDLE: Family Outing
SUBMITTED BY: Hal R.
Two mothers and two daughters went out to eat. Everyone ate one burger, yet only three burgers were eaten in all. How is this possible?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Wordplay
You know that one comes before two, but where does two come before three, and four come before six?
SOLUTION: In a dictionary!
Solved by: Sara K., Viviane Dwek, Big Mike, and Joseph Wahba.

One on One with Ruthie Levy

Ellen Gellar Kamaras

“When I look back, I see that the decisions my parents made, and the steps I took as a child and teenager, helped me grow into the person I am today. They were the catalysts to connect me with family, spiritual people, and my passions.” ~~ Ruthie Levy

Ruthie Anteby Levy grew up in Brooklyn on Avenue O, the oldest of three daughters, in what she portrays as a very traditional Syrian landscape.

Her parents were always oriented towards religion and Ruthie was a big shul goer.  She was blessed to have both sets of grandparents close by, spending Friday nights with one side of the family and Shabbat lunches with the other.

 Childhood Memories

Tenth grade was a turning point. Ilan High School  opened in Ocean, New Jersey and Ruthie’s parents, seeking to grow religiously, moved to Deal, NJ.  At Ilan, an all-girls Jewish school characterized as a place to grow, Ruthie learned that very religious individuals were “regular” people.  Her teachers were so supportive, that Ruthie reached out to one, twenty years later, and asked that teacher to be her mentor. “If you need guidance, you have to ask for it and make it happen.”

Ruthie makes it a point to a have a rabbi in her life, a spiritual guide, to turn to when making significant life decisions.  She is proud that her older children also follow her lead and reach out to a rabbi when they have questions.

Ruthie enjoyed school. She was an A student and a “rules follower.” Following rules matches up with Ruthie becoming a professional organizer. She also noted that she was quiet but had lots of friends as a child.

Although Ruthie thrived at Ilan, she missed her close friends, and after a year and a half she transferred to Magen David Yeshivah High School for the remainder of her education. During the school year Ruthie stayed with her grandparents in Brooklyn during the week. She speaks fondly of the close relationships that were formed.  “I would sleep at one grandparent’s house, eat dinner at the other.  Tuesday night was hamburger night. We played rummy too.  Those strong connections grounded me.”

 Ruthie spent her gap year studying at Seminar Bnos Chayil in Israel with her close friends.  “It was a wonderful experience and I learned a lot about myself.”  It was another influential step in her life journey.

When she returned from Israel, Ruthie worked in Manhattan at various jobs, including a jewelry store. Again, she enjoyed living with her grandparents during the week, and returned to her parents’ home in NJ for weekends and holidays.  Ruthie studied accounting at Touro College but realized accounting was not a good fit for her.

Ruthie and her family settled in Lakewood, NJ. Ruthie is the proud mother of children ranging in ages 5 and 19.   Ruthie absolutely loves the Lakewood community and its safe mindset.

“Lakewood has all the conveniences and the entire town is on the same schedule.  People show appreciation and respect for different types and religious levels of observances, are sensitive to other nuances, and are all working towards the same goal, being family oriented and striving to serve Hashem. Its residents have a special relationship with the Police Commissioner and the School Board members, who understand and respect our lifestyle.  We had a lot of support during the pandemic.”

Passions and Purpose

 When I asked Ruthie for four adjectives to describe herself, she enlisted her friends and children for feedback.  First and foremost, she is very honest: “I am allergic to lies, falsehoods, and discrepancies.  I have an antenna that can detect lies!”  She is passionate about balance, finding the truth, and seeking peace.  Ruthie is mindful about keeping her eye on what’s going to keep the peace in relationships, both business and personal.

Another key trait is Ruthie’s drive.  That is what propelled her to become more religious and to build her own business.  Ruthie is also driven to empower others to be the best version of themselves.

Ruthie’s 13-year-old son’s description of his mother was: “Mom, you are just happy.”  What a huge compliment! Her son recognizes his mother’s feeling of wellbeing and he sees his mother as displaying pleasure and contentment.  She has a very close relationship with her children and is so grateful for that!

“They are such good kids and the yeshivot are delighted to have them as students. I am involved with their schools and am so pleased with the education they are receiving.”

Career and Business

 After giving birth to her second child, Ruthie decided that she wanted to work from home. She was very resourceful and started a catering business, baking Syrian desserts and mazza in her own kitchen.  Ruthie also taught classes at Ilan and at night to high school girls about personal development and relationships with Hashem.  She did bookkeeping and wig styling, and continued working at these diverse jobs for ten years.

Seven years ago, when most of her children were in school, Ruthie realized that she had more free time and had the ability to start her own company.  When one of her children explained that the reason behind the name Friday is that Ruthie fries all day, i.e. kibbe, empanadas… she said to herself, “I need a business that takes up less of my children’s time and space.”

What could she do that would be more rewarding and get her out of the house?

One of her relatives helped her answer that question.  She asked Ruthie, “What do you love to do the most?” Ruthie replied, “I love to organize things.” Her passion for organizing began at a young age.  When Ruthie was in third grade, she remembers having the best time at a friend’s house when they took out all the games and reorganized the toy closet.  As an adult, she found herself buying containers and reorganizing every Sunday.

Ruthie did not know if formal training in organization existed and was thrilled when her friend found her an in-person training program.

There were not many professional organizers in Deal and Lakewood and Ruthie got her name out by participating in Expos and boutique shows, demonstrating the process of home organization and showing examples of before and after.  Ruthie’s goal was to work with each family’s dynamic, budget, and their habits, to create a system and flow that operates for them and is easy to maintain.  Her specialty is home organization although she does organize small businesses, too.

Why Simplifized?

Ruthie first named her business “Organize It.”  As she continued to develop her goals and brand, she recognized that her mission was to create organizational systems that keep people’s lives simple and remove any complexities.  That’s how Simplifized was born!

Most of Ruthie’s clients comes from referrals and from her Instagram page.  On the initial phone call with a new client, Ruthie aims to ascertain the gist of the project, such as focusing on the kitchen versus the entire house. She obtains pictures and videos before meeting in person.  Ruthie asks targeted questions to determine what the client’s vision is and what would work for them. She prepares a mental map, including the products to buy that will help to create a space that is unique to the client’s family and reflects who they are.  Some clients say, “do your magic” and give her free rein.  Ruthie’s secret to success is the ability to work with each person’s vision, needs, habits, and budget.  She is very respectful of her clients’ privacy regarding sharing before and after pictures. She will never share anything without express permission.

Ruthie built her own online organizational program and has trained women all over the world to become professional organizers.  She also provides other online classes to assist people in organization and has taught courses at The Well and DSN. Ruthie has also written for Mishpacha Magazine.

Decluttering became popular during the pandemic as people worked from home, took care of their children, and tried to keep the children engaged.  With all the uncertainty, choosing to declutter allowed individuals to assert some control over their personal space and to stay organized.  Ruthie created an opportunity out of adversity and formed her Style online program.

Ruthie’s unique organizational process is called the “SMART” system.

S is for select a category, such as your coffee cabinet.

M is for minimize, go through, and eliminate what you do not need, such as expired tea bags and mugs you do not use.

A is for arrange, how to prioritize and place your items.

R is for receptacle, put items into containers.

T is for Tagging. Tagging or labels provide a visual map for an organizational system that can be maintained easily.

Work-Life Balance

Being her own boss provides a lot of flexibility and Ruthie’s children think her business is very cool. Ruthie gives her children guidelines and they have picked up organizational tools from their mom.  Her five-year-old daughter recently organized her hotel drawers while unpacking her suitcase.

To relax, Ruthie gets together with friends. “Even if it’s for an hour, it’s like oxygen for me.”

What’s Next? 

Ruthie continues to develop and streamline her training programs and make them easily accessible.

Career Satisfaction?  “I love when clients tell me that they can maintain the system, they are saving money because they know where everything is, and that their mornings and evenings are smoother.”

Connect with Ruthie on Instagram @Simplifized or on her business line at 732-339-3971.

Declutter your space declutter your mind!

 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

 

Migration

Working from home is not a new concept, but recent events have created a mass shift in the American workforce and more people than ever before are working from home. Many are getting used to the idea of working remotely. The crisis has affected many of our social patterns and habits, some relating to the housing market and real estate. Homebuyers are now looking for larger homes, as the need for spacious living conditions has grown. Spending more time at home has shifted family values as well.

People are now seeking more space, which suburban areas such as Toms River and Deal, New Jersey can offer. With people being forced to work for home, they realize that they are able to move farther away. Some, unfortunately, have lost their jobs and are looking to start fresh in a new setting.

Not only are people moving to the suburbs, but also beyond. Many New Yorkers have fled to sunny Tampa, Florida. In 2018, the New York metropolitan area lost 100 people per day on average, mostly to Florida. Now the number is closer to 270 per day. People are discovering that they can get as much done at home with an improved quality of life.

At the same time, with the nation’s mortgage rates at historic lows, this too has caused an increase in home sales. Some New Yorkers are settled where they are,  due to the need to remain close to family members or because of job considerations, and they are definitely interested in home-buying.

 Mortgage Update

Conforming loan interest rates have been consistently falling with rates under 3% for qualified buyers. Banks are seeing an extreme increase in both purchase and refinance volume, so make sure to get pre-approved and start the mortgage process early on! Take advantage of these once- in-a-lifetime rates!

Although mortgage interest rates have been extremely low, we wouldn’t call it free money, as everyone should be responsible for any money they borrow. We still need to think twice. At the same time, in 1981 interest rates were at 18.45%, in 1990 at 10.2%, and two summers ago, rates were close to 5%. Many are refinancing now and taking home equity line up credits. Reach out if you’re interested in purchasing or refinancing so that we can connect you to lenders who are ready to assist!

 How to Set Up Your First Home Office

Having a designated home office offers a better environment for productivity and is easier to set up than you might think.

  • The first step is to find the right location for your home office. Although it’s great if you have a spare room to use, not everyone has this luxury. A corner of a master bedroom or living room, a loft area, or even a section of a well-insulated garage can work just as well.
  • Once you find the right space, create a list of the materials you’ll need to be productive. A formal desk is best, but if you don’t own one, then any table will work. Use bookshelves or storage cubes to keep paper, pens, and other useful items within easy reach.
  • Pay attention to the lighting – both natural light and lighting fixtures. Cool light, such as sunlight, is best for productivity. Make sure you have a desk lamp or floor lamp if the room does not have proper natural lighting.
  • Once you have the essentials set up, it’s time to add some personal touches. Add a plant or decorate a wall with pictures you enjoy, to bring the space to life. Consider the storage elements as well, such as pen holders or file folders.

A home office does not need to be fancy to be an effective and enjoyable space. The most important consideration is to ensure you can work in peace. Your home office should also offer a pleasant place to be productive that is separate from your living space so you can unplug at the end of the workday.

We Have the Best Lawyer – But He Needs Our Help

When a person is brought to court, he will make sure to hire the best lawyer he can afford, the one who will plead his case most effectively.

As we stand trial on Yom Kippur, we don’t need to hire a lawyer.  We already have one – the best possible lawyer, who is far better than any lawyer we could possibly hire, no matter how much money we have.

Gd Himself is our lawyer.  But only if we let Him do the job.

The Bottom of the Barrel

To understand how this works, let us review a famous – and remarkable – story told by the Gemara, in Masechet Avodah Zarah.

The protagonist is a man named Elazar ben Dordaya, who was addicted to sin.  Specifically, he was addicted to sins of lust.  Apparently, he was very wealthy, because he was able to visit every woman of ill repute whom he heard of – and he did.  He spent his entire life submerged in the abyss of sin, pursuing forbidden pleasures.

Once, Elazar heard of a certain woman in a distant land who charged an exorbitant fee for her services.  He took a stash of gold coins and set sail to visit her – determined as he was not to miss any new opportunity to indulge in illicit conduct.

Something very unusual happened while he was with this woman: she remarked to him that he was never going to repent, that he was stuck in his sinful life, forever.

Can anything be stranger than this?  A woman with the most disreputable profession in the world suddenly turned into a rabbi…warning a customer of the real danger of falling into spiritual oblivion.

Stranger yet – this woman was more successful in inspiring change than many (most?) rabbis.  Elazar immediately ran from her home, and repented.  He wept bitterly, regretting his lifelong pursuit of forbidden lust.  He felt such pain over his depraved conduct that his soul departed.  He died.  A heavenly voice then announced that Elazar had earned a share in Gan Eden.

There are many things to learn from this startling story.  But perhaps the most important thing to learn is hinted to in the protagonist’s name: Elazar ben Dordaya.  As one commentator noted, the word “Dordaya” means sediment, the undesirable solid pieces that collect at the bottom of a barrel of wine.  This is what Elazar ben Dordaya was.  He was the “bottom of the barrel.”  He was the lowliest of sinners.  He was a disgrace, an embarrassment to the Jewish people, to his family, and, perhaps most importantly, to himself.  He was “sediment,” utter filth.

The name “Elazar” means “G-d helped.”  And so the full name – “Elazar ben Dordaya” – means, “Gd helped the bottom of the barrel.”  This is precisely the story of Elazar ben Dordaya – Gd helped him, lifting him up from the bottom of the barrel.

How else can we explain a woman of ill repute inspiring her customer to repent?  How does this make any sense, unless we realize that Gd intervened to help His beloved child, Elazar, who had sunken to the bottom of the barrel, inspiring this woman to make a comment that would change his heart?

This is the critical message of this story – that Gd helps even those in the bottom of the barrel.

Gd Believes in All of Us

Let’s take a moment to understand and appreciate the full significance of this message, and how it gives us an entirely different perspective on Gd’s relationship to us than the perspective that many people have.

Gd does not hate those who sin.  He does not want them to fail.  He does not want to punish them.  He wants to help them.  He is willing and prepared to descend to the lowest depths to bring His children back.

Our sages teach, “Yisrael, af al pi shehata, Yisrael hu – A Jew, even though he has sinned, is a Jew.”  Deep within the soul of every Jew, no matter what he has done and how he currently acts, is a sacred spark waiting to be ignited.  Even Elazar ben Dordaya was precious and beloved by Gd.  Even after all the sins he had committed, Gd did not give up on him.  Gd believed in him, because Gd knows that there is a holy spark within every person.

Our sages speak of sin as the product of a temporary state of insanity.  Our true desire is to follow Gd’s will, to obey His commands, to live a life of religious devotion.  This is what we really want.  We falter because of external factors – such as distraction, negative influences, and our physical impulses.  We are capable of overcoming all these hurdles, but it’s difficult.  Doing what we really want to do is oftentimes challenging, but these challenges don’t change the fact that what we really want to do is the right thing, what Gd wants us to do.

This is why Gd is willing to lift up even Elazar ben Dordaya, even those who have fallen to the “bottom of the barrel” – because He believes in all His children, even those at the very bottom.  Even they have a sacred soul which years to cling to Gd.  Even they truly and deeply want to live the right way.

On Yom Kippur, when we stand trial, Gd comes to our defense.  The prosecuting angels stand before the Heavenly Tribunal well-equipped with the incontrovertible, incriminating evidence against us.  They gleefully play the video reels of all we have done wrong.  The proof is undeniable.  We are guilty.  But Gd Himself arises as our advocate, telling the court that the video tells only a small part of the story.  The real story is what’s inside the heart of the Jew.  And deep inside, his heart is pure.  He truly and genuinely wants to serve his Creator.  He wants to live a sacred life, a life of Torah and mitzvot.  This cannot be caught on video, but Gd, who created us, knows what’s inside our hearts.  And as the creator of the world, He knows just how difficult this world is, just how many challenges, distractions, lures, and temptations we face each and every day.

This is Gd’s defense for His beloved nation, the way He silences the prosecutors and undermines their whole case against us.

But in order for this work, we must do our part.

Let Gd Do His Job!

One of the highlights of the Yom Kippur prayer service is the chanting of the beautiful Adir Vena’or hymn, in which we proclaim many different praises of Gd.  In one passage in this inspirational prayer, we declare, “Goleh amukot, dover tzedakot – Revealer of the concealed, Speaker of righteousness.”

It has been suggested that this sentence holds one of the most important keys to a successful Yom Kippur.

On this day, Gd is “goleh amukot” – He reveals the hidden spark of holiness buried deep within the soul of every Jew, even of the likes of Elazar ben Dordaya.  But He can do this only if “dover tzedakot” – if the Jew whom He is defending speaks “righteously.”

Imagine the scene in the Heavenly Tribunal as the prosecuting angel shows the court the video of a person’s sins, and then Gd rises to his defense, pointing to the hidden greatness within the person.  But then the prosecuting angel takes the floor once again, and strikes down this defense.  The angel shows that this person himself does not believe in the hidden greatness within every Jew.  After all, he regularly, or even just occasionally, points out the faults of other people.  He doesn’t defend people by looking for their hidden greatness.  He angrily or disdainfully criticizes them, complains about them, and gossips about them.  He’s not interested in probing people’s characters to uncover the spark of sanctity and greatness deep within.  So why should his own spark matter?  If he doesn’t see the hidden greatness in others, then his own hidden greatness is not seen, either.

If we speak lashon hara (negative speech) about other people, or if we look down on others, rather than judging them favorably, finding the spark of greatness within their beings, then our “Lawyer” cannot do His job for us on Yom Kippur.  He cannot advocate for us with an argument which we ourselves do not subscribe to.  He cannot draw the court’s attention to our innate greatness if we pay no attention to the innate greatness of other people.

All year round, but especially during this period of the High Holidays, it is so critically important to judge people favorably, to come to their defense, to take note of their good qualities instead of focusing on their faults and their mistakes.  It is safe to assume that nobody in our lives has fallen to the “bottom of the barrel,” to the level of sinfulness reached by Elazar ben Dordaya.  If Hashem saw the spark of holiness within his soul, we can certainly see the spark of holiness within the soul of all our fellow Jews, no matter what faults they have, no matter what we might think of their level of religious observance, no matter what we might think of their behavior and their personalities.  All people have a spark of greatness – and we have to believe in them, and find that spark.

If we can do this, then Hashem will continue believing in us, despite our many failings, and help us ignite our inner spark so that during this coming year, we become the great people whom we are capable of being, and whom we truly and sincerely want to become.