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Let’s Take Our Time Back

If I told you that we will be celebrating the world’s creation this month, you would probably not only react with surprise, but also wonder how someone with the title “rabbi” could make such a foolish mistake, as everyone knows that Rosh Hashanah is the holiday that celebrates the world’s creation. 

 

But this is not a mistake. 

 

The Gemara (Rosh Hashanah 10b) brings a debate among the sages as to when the world was created.  One view – the view that we are familiar with – states that Gd created the world in Tishri, when we celebrate Rosh Hashanah.  Another view, however, maintains that the world was created in the month of Nissan, the month which will soon be upon us, and in which we observe the special holiday of Pesach. 

 

The Tosafot commentary (Rosh Hashanah 27a) posits that in truth, there is no debate about this question.  Both views concur that the world was created in Nissan, but Gd conceived the idea of creation already in Tishri. 

 

Needless to say, it is very difficult to understand the meaning of this notion – that Gd conceived the idea to create the world and then later executed the plan.  Nevertheless, Tosafot’s comments are significant in that they reflect a reluctance to accept that the sages would disagree about something so basic as to the anniversary of the world’s creation.   

 

Following Tosafot’s lead, let us see if perhaps we can suggest a different approach to reconcile these two opinions, and to understand how the world in one sense was created in Tishri, but in a different sense, in Nissan. 

 

The Creation of Time 

 

Each morning, we introduce the Pesukeh De’zimra section of the prayer service with Baruch She’amar, a brief prayer expressing various forms of praise to Gd.  Two phrases in this prayer seem, at first glance, repetitive: “Baruch omer ve’oseh… Baruch oseh beresheet – Blessed is He who proclaims and makes… Blessed is He who makes the first creation.”  These two clauses both appear to praise Gd for creating the world.   

 

The Gaon of Vilna (1720-1797) explained the difference between these two phrases.  “Baruch omer ve’oseh” speaks of the creation of the world generally, whereas “Baruch oseh beresheet” refers to the creation of beresheet – “the beginning.”  The very first thing that  Gd created before the world could come into existence was time.  “Baruch oseh beresheet” gives praise to Gd for creating “the first,” the idea of time, the first moment which would then be followed by a second, and then a third, and so on.  At time of creation, Gd not only produced matter, the physical earth that we see and feel, but also the concept of time.  We mortals, in our limited comprehension, cannot understand how time could never have existed, but before the world’s creation, there was no time.  And time was the first thing that Gd created when bringing the universe into existence. 

 

With this in mind, we can return to the question of whether creation occurred in Tishri or in Nissan. 

 

On the first of Nissan, two weeks before the Exodus from Egypt, Gd appeared to Moshe and Aharon and presented the first mitzvah given to Am Yisrael, the mitzvah of establishing the Jewish calendar.  Gd formulated this command by instructing: “Hahodesh hazeh lachem rosh hodashim – This month is for you the first of the months” (Shemot 12:2).   

 

Rav Ovadia Seforno (Italy, 1475-1550) explains: “From now on, the months will be yours to do with them as you wish, whereas during the period of slavery, your days were not yours, but were rather designated for the service and wishes of others.”  The significance of this mitzvah, the mitzvah of the Jewish calendar, is that we are to take advantage of the precious gift of time.  Now that Beneh Yisrael were being released from bondage, they were told that  the “months,” the time which Gd created, is now in their hands, for them to use productively.  This is symbolized by the arrangement of the calendar, demonstrating our mastery over time. 

 

Developing this point further, Beneh Yisrael were now for the first time receiving mitzvot – which is precisely the purpose for which we are to utilize the gift of time.  The concept of time was created at the first stage of the world’s creation, but the opportunity to properly use time was given for the first time now, when Gd spoke to Moshe and Aharon on the eve of the Exodus to present to them the first mitzvot.  It is thus no exaggeration to say that time was, in a sense, created twice – at the beginning of the world’s creation, and on the first of Nissan, when Gd presented mitzvot to Beneh Yisrael for the first time.  Time was created not to be wasted, but to be used productively, in the service of Gd.  And thus it was only once the process of transmitting mitzvot began that the creation of time reached its purpose. 

 

On this basis, we can reconcile the different statements among the sages as to when the world was created.  The physical world was, of course, brought into existence on the first of Tishri, which we celebrate as Rosh Hashanah.  But the purpose of creation became realized on the first Nissan, when Gd began communicating mitzvot to Beneh Yisrael.  At this point, the most important aspect of creation – the creation of time – was finally ready to achieve its purpose. 

 

What Was the Haggadah Thinking? 

 

This might explain an otherwise perplexing passage in the Haggadah. 

 

Toward the beginning of the maggid section, the Haggadah poses the unusual question, “Yachol me’Rosh Hodesh” – “Perhaps from Rosh Hodesh?”  Meaning, we might have entertained the possibility that the obligation to tell the story of the Exodus may be fulfilled even before Pesach, already on Rosh Hodesh, the first day of Nissan.  The Haggadah proceeds to finds an indication in the text (“bayom hahu” – Shemot 13:8) that this mitzvah must be fulfilled specifically on the first night of Pesach, the night of the seder.   

 

Why would we have entertained such a notion?  Never do we find the suggestion raised that we can fulfill the obligation of sukkah or the arba minim (four species) two weeks before Sukkot.  Why would we have thought that the mitzvah to read the Haggadah can be observed already on Rosh Hodesh Nissan? 

 

In light of what we have seen, the answer is clear.  Rosh Hodesh Nissan is an exceedingly significant occasion – a day which may be see as a “Rosh Hashanah” of sorts.  This is the day when time, for the first time in world history, became valuable.  This was the day when we were first given mitzvot – the purpose for which we are given time in this world.  Not surprisingly, then, the possibility was raised that we should begin celebrating our freedom already on this day. 

 

The Tragedy of Lost Time 

 

Benjamin Franklin famously wrote, “Time is money.”  The idea he was expressing is that time should be used wisely, because it is as valuable as money, insofar as time can be used to work and earn money. 

 

I strongly disagree with this statement. 

 

Time is worth infinitely more than money.  The loss of time in exponentially worse than the loss of money.  Any money a person loses could potentially be recovered.  But the loss of time is permanent.  It can never be returned.  

 

As the Seforno taught, we were freed from Egypt so that our time would again be ours, so that we would not squander the precious opportunity of time doing slave labor.  Tragically, so many of us voluntarily subjugate our time, wasting it on vanity, instead of using this precious gift for the lofty purpose for which we received it. 

 

Much has been and still needs to be said about the spiritual challenges posed by the devices that we all carry with us in our pockets, notwithstanding the great blessings and valuable conveniences that they offer us.  One of the most significant challenges, which is posed to each and every person with a device, is the potential waste of large amounts of time.  The creators of the content accessible on our devices specifically aim at grabbing our attention and keeping our interest, consuming enormous quantities of precious time that could be used so much more meaningfully.  I will not disrespect this publication by listing the many different things that people do on their phones that waste time.  I trust that every reader will honestly assess his or her consumption of digital media to determine the biggest time wasters.  From a Torah perspective, the time we waste on nonsense is nothing less than a spiritual crisis.  We voluntarily bring ourselves back into Egyptian bondage, surrendering control over our time to a foreign power – in this instance, not the king of a powerful empire, but an electronic device.  We are allowing our phones to enslave us, to steal the most precious asset that we have, the very first and most crucial aspect of creation – our time. 

 

Our sages instituted a special Torah reading on the Shabbat preceding Rosh Hodesh Nissan – the portion of “Hahodesh hazeh lachem rosh hodashim,” the commands given to our ancestors in Egypt on Rosh Hodesh Nissan.  We are reminded each year of the special importance of this day, the day when the creation of time realized its purpose.  And we are reminded that “this month is yours” – that our time must remain under our control, for us to use in the service of Hashem, rather than be surrendered to anyone or anything else. 

 

As we prepare to celebrate our freedom from Egyptian slavery, let us resolve to once and for all free ourselves from our modern-day slavery to screens.  Let us commit to take back control over our time, to use our time productively, to stop wasting precious hours of our day, and to devote the time Hashem gives us for the right purposes. 

One on One with Leslie Sultan

Meeting Leslie for our interview felt like a reunion with a dear friend.  As an added bonus, Leslie brought along her life partner, her husband Isaac. We first connected in June 2022 at my editor’s suggestion.  Leslie is an extremely sensitive, intuitive, and caring person, and she sensed that something was off in my life. She suggested that we delay the interview.  Leslie was spot on. My husband was preparing for a kidney transplant, with our adult daughter Sarah, as his donor.  Baruch Hashem,  the transplant was successful, and both are thriving.   

Leslie became a strong source of support for me, checking in and offering hizuk 

Writing this column and sharing our women’s life stories bring me much joy and insights. 

Back to Leslie.  Leslie is a successful and talented Registered Nurse (RN) and a community health educator and advocate. Her journey to fulfill her dream of becoming a nurse wasn’t a linear one.

Growing Up

Leslie, of Syrian descent, was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota to Ceilia and Irving Mahana. Her parents were American and her father served in the U.S. Army during WWII.  “Both my parents encouraged education.”  Her mother was very supportive and said that education was the best way to go forward in whatever one loves to do.  Leslie’s mother was an educated woman, who worked, prayed, and always kept Shabbat. The family moved to Brooklyn when Leslie was four years old. 

Leslie is the second of five children, four girls and a boy.  Her siblings enjoy careers in teaching, special education, and psychology, and her sister Jacqueline Gemal is also an RN.  Leslie’s siblings were a source of inspiration for her, and Jacqueline supported Leslie in her quest to become a nurse.

A friendly and outgoing child and a serious academic student, Leslie attained honors throughout her school years.  She attended public school during the day and Talmud Torah at Congregation Shaare Zion in the afternoon.  In Abraham Lincoln High School, Leslie belonged to the Arista Honor Society, Civic Club, and Sing.  “I was always involved with family and community and was happy and ready to pitch in and help.”

Leslie participated in and cherished the closeness of Friday night Mizrachi Group meetings, where rabbis and guest speakers gave inspirational talks on Judaism and moral issues.  

Leslie’s Essence

Leslie is a spiritual woman who has immense faith, trust, and belief in Hashem.  She describes herself as knowledgeable, hard-working, friendly, devoted, and focused.  She is dedicated to what matters most to her, her family, and Hashem.  Always willing to share her wisdom to help others, Leslie is a lifelong learner. 

Leslie expressed how truly grateful and blessed she feels.  “You will see through my journey how my prayers to Hashem and my religious upbringing helped me reach a clear understanding of my life.”

Marriage and Family 

Leslie married her husband Isaac Sultan in February 1967.  Isaac, a college graduate, fully supported Leslie’s desire for further education.  “Isaac, a truly kind man really meant what he said and I went to college and nursing school while raising our family. Our trust and love grew.”  

Isaac and Leslie have two daughters, Valerie Mirwis and Celeste Mishaan, both educated at Hillel Yeshiva Elementary and High School.  “We wanted them to never lose sight of their religion and where they came from. We told them each, ‘Be a giver. We come from a beautiful community and wherever you live, use your skills, talent, time, energy, money, or resources to give back to community and society.’”  Valerie and Celeste are both college-educated.

Leslie’s Journey to Become a Nurse

Why Nursing? When Leslie was fourteen, she volunteered in the summer at a Jersey Shore hospital.  That experience and her care and concern for others provided the impetus for Leslie to go into nursing.  “I was able to help patients where needed, bring food trays, feed patients, read to those who were alone… I was comfortable with the hospital environment.”

Leslie and Isaac’s oldest daughter, Valerie, was born in April 1969 and Leslie loved being a mom.  She started her college courses at night when Isaac was home.  When Celeste was born in June 1973, Leslie continued her college courses.  Isaac was an invaluable partner and was always there for her. 

Leslie arranged her classes around her daughters’ yeshiva schedule, always taking them off the school bus.  

The couple moved to Ocean Township, NJ, in 1976, in the middle of Leslie’s studies.  She continued her nursing classes at Brookdale Community College.

The following year when their girls were eight and four, Isaac was diagnosed with malignant melanoma.  Their lives changed dramatically with Isaac requiring surgery and chemotherapy.  Leslie took a leave from her nursing studies and spent her days at the hospital in Manhattan, racing back to NJ to be there for her children when they came home from school. “I didn’t want my young girls to know anything was wrong.  I had to tune everything else out and be there for Isaac and our daughters. Praying, crying, and talking my heart out to Hashem that we would be okay really helped.  I felt like I was on a roller coaster and only Hashem could help, and Hashem did. Over time Hashem solidified Isaac’s recovery. We slowly moved forward.”

Leslie resumed her nursing studies at night and balanced school with taking care of her family.  She did clinicals during the day when her children were in school full time.  Leslie graduated with an RN license in 1982.

She first worked as an RN at Monmouth Medical Center (MMC) in diverse units:  Medical/Surgical, Labor/Delivery, Nursery, and Community Health.  Keeping Shabbat as a hospital nurse was challenging.  Nurses are required to work alternate weekends.  “As an Orthodox Jew this would not work for me. Shabbat is Hashem’s day.  I valued my religion and knew that Hashem was there for me, and I will be there to serve and praise Him.”

Leslie bravely went to speak to an MMC trustee and negotiated a schedule where she would have Shabbat off.  

After fourteen years at MMC, Leslie left to continue her studies at Monmouth College and earned her bachelor’s degree at SUNY.

Leslie pivoted to community health work and education and taught healthcare, illness and injury prevention, and environmental issues.  “This work is so rewarding as it enhances people’s lives, safeguards their health, and reduces hospital admissions.”

She currently works at two community high schools and is responsible for health records, immunizations, reporting to the Health Department, screenings, medications, and treatments. 

Leslie gives her diverse classes both privately and to organizations, and volunteers at health fairs.

Leslie is a CPR instructor.  She is so gratified that many of her former CPR students have saved lives.  She teaches AED (automated external defibrillator), infant care for new mothers, breast cancer detection, first aid and preventing home injuries.  She’s thrilled when she sees her students “really get it.”  Leslie advises new moms to “look at your home from your child’s perspective.  Your child finds the penny under the couch to put into her mouth.”

Community 

I asked Leslie and Isaac what they think drives the Sephardic community’s strong commitment to  hesed.  They both responded, “Unity! From unity comes blessings.”   Isaac explained that the first Syrian settlers who came to the U.S. in the early 1900s were very dependent on each other.  Those who succeeded shared their wealth and knowledge with others and helped them open businesses.  

Leslie noted that when a community member needs expensive emergency surgery, donations pour in immediately. Both Leslie and Isaac credit Rabbi Jacob Kassin, zt”l with infusing the community with the zeal to help other members when medical emergencies arise.

Passions and Pursuits

Leslie’s passion is her family –  Isaac, her daughters, sons-in-law, grandchildren, great- grandchildren, and extended family.  Professionally, she is dedicated to helping people keep their health at an optimal level and she enjoys teaching a variety of classes.  

Leslie always loved being a mom, and being involved in her children’s daily care, school life, and the pleasures of having her own family.  “Isaac and I were on the same team with the same dream.  We enjoyed watching our daughters experience their school activities such as school plays and science fairs.  As they got older, we journeyed to Israel, Mexico, Cape Canaveral, Orlando, DC, and NYC.  Everything was fun and a learning experience.”

Isaac and Leslie are approaching their 56th wedding anniversary.  They recommend: “Be each other’s best friend and be on the same team. And always have trust in Hashem.”

Reading is her personal quiet time activity.  Leslie also enjoys playing Mahjong.  Isaac and Leslie love to travel in the U.S. and around the globe.

Advice for Future Nurses

“Your journey may have its challenges but persevere and always have faith in Hashem and give back to your community.”  

Feel free to connect with Leslie at sult66@aol.com

Mabrouk – March 2023

Births – Baby Boy 

Allie & Judy Morabia 

Steven & Regine Fallas 

 

Births – Baby Girl 

Eddie & Daniella Nissim 

 

Engagements 

Jacob Chrem to Linda Banbahj 

Saul Ancona to Leslie Antar 

Shaul Shalam to Lori Safdieh 

Albert Mizrahi to Raquel Levy 

Moshe Nahum to Tina Kassab 

Morris Shalom to Sarine Dabbah 

Moshe Alouf to Mariyah Bibi 

 

Weddings 

Aaron Marcus to Florence Hassoun 

 

Meatballs and Spiraled Zucchini

Substituting zucchini for pasta makes this dish gluten-free and a great weeknight dinner for the week of Passover. Although I have the spiralizer tool, I tend to use my julienne peeler for its size and ease of use. Because  zucchini is 95 percent water, be careful not to overcook the spirals or they will turn into a soggy mess. You can even skip the sautéing step and eat the spirals raw – just top with your cooked meatballs and sauce and enjoy!  

 

Ingredients: 

 

4 zucchini, spiralized 

2 tbsp olive oil  

1 tbsp plus 1 tsp Salt 

1 lb ground beef 

1 cup fresh basil, chopped 

3 cloves fresh garlic 

1 egg  

1/2 cup matzo meal 

8 oz can tomato sauce  

1 cup water 

 

 

  1. In a medium bowl, mix ground beef, basil, 1 tbsp salt, garlic, egg, and matzo meal
  2. Shape into 16 large balls
  3. In a large pot, bring tomato sauce and water to a boil. Lower flame and add meatballs, let simmer for another 35 minutes.
  4. Use a spiralizer or julienne peeler to create zucchini strands. Lightly cook zucchini in a pan with olive oil and 1 tsp salt no longer than 1-2 minutes. Remove from heat immediately
  5. Serve meatballs on top of zucchini spirals.
  6. Garnish with basil leaves. 

 

From the Mitzvah Man Hesed Stories – One Mitzvah Leads to Another

Mitzvah Man Volunteer’s Inside Scoop: Doing Mitzvot Works in Two Directions

– Pnina Souid

One of the Mitzvah Man organization’s long-time volunteers began his hesed “career” slowly, and now is hooked. Here is an open letter he wrote to Michael Cohen, founder of the organization. Let’s hear about his experiences and the way he involved his family in the pursuit of hesed. You will see that he, like so many other Mitzvah Man volunteers, feel that he is not just enriching others’ lives, but the mitzvot he does enriches his life, and the life of his family, too.

Hi Michael, 

I’ve been volunteering since we met years ago. My first “assignment” was to deliver flowers to an elderly lady. I confess I felt a little awkward, but you encouraged me. You said not to worry, she would just be happy to get a visitor. You told me to introduce myself, and tell her I have brought flowers for Shabbat from the Mitzvah Man. You were right!  She invited me in, and we had a nice conversation about our families and the wonderful community. She was extremely happy just to have a visitor.  

I did this week after week, and we started to develop  a nice relationship. She asked about my wife so on the third week I brought her along. The following week I brought my six-year-old son. Our visits were clearly becoming the best part of her week. She did not get out at all, so it meant a lot to her that we would come over to spend time with her. My wife really enjoyed the visits and our son did, too. He always got a piece of candy from her and he very quickly became her favorite. As time went by, he got comfortable, and he felt  like he was visiting his own grandma. 

As the years went on, we had more and more of these great visits. Honestly,  you even forget that you’re going to do  a mitzvah! What you’re doing is really its own reward. It’s a pleasure just to see people smile and talk and tell stories about the old days. It’s so fulfilling. Just recently my wife and I were talking about all the things we’ve gotten a chance to be a part of, as we do hesed. Even if there was no reward from Hashem (which we believe there is, of course) the gratitude we have been shown when we visit others, be it in their homes, in a hospital, or in in elderly care center, makes everything else in our lives feel trivial. Doing these mitzvahs has been such a blessing, and has had a profound change in my everyday thinking. So, I want to  tell everyone they should try it! 

This year you asked if I could help make a Rosh Hashana minyan for someone with medical issues who might not have been able to make it to shul otherwise. It sounded like a very daunting task! But, I called my favorite rabbi and he said he had everything we would need, machzorim, with Hebrew and English, tallitot, and so on. We got a sefer Torah, and someone to be the hazzan. We managed to  pick everything up and set it up properly. To add to the festive atmosphere one volunteer set up amazing flower arrangements. Surprisingly, all the work and set up was not hard at all! It was a pleasure to have my son help, too. And both of us received aliyot during the Torah service. I thought to myself,  I would have paid to be a part of this! It was truly awesome. We were enwrapped with the beautiful sounds of singing and prayer, where everyone was able to focus, as there was no side talk. I was truly able to focus on what I wanted to pray for, and I was so thankful that I had  my son by my side. I don’t think I was the only one who forgot that by participating in this holy minyan we were doing a special hesed.  I felt tremendous joy and gratitude as I stood with  my arm around my son, as he was standing at the Torah. My wife said she could see my eyes watering. I told her I clearly had allergies. Ha!  

And I’ll tell you the best part of doing hesed as a Mitzvah Man volunteer. It’s the gratitude shown not only by the people you visit, but by their families, as well. It is so uplifting you feel like you are floating. The family members can go crazy thanking you. I always say it’s really nothing because that’s how I feel! The truth is I get so much out of it. My wife and son enjoy it so much, too. An extra benefit for us is how nice it is to disconnect from our own things and give back to the community. 

The mitzvot I listed above that my family and I took part in are tremendous. The multitude of mitzvot you organize make you a legend. What you have created is so powerful! The woman I mentioned earlier who we used to visit passed away, sadly. So, my son asked me this morning, “Dad when are we going to go visit another person for Shabbat?” I told him soon. Do you realize what this means? At 13 years of age, my son has now ingrained in him that on Fridays it’s a special day where you do a mitzvah that you maybe wouldn’t regularly do. Your organization (in addition to all the other great things you do) has helped to shape the middot of my child! That is really something beautiful! Our family’s circle is small. So we especially appreciate those who have come into our lives as a result of our volunteering with your organization. 

None of us volunteers help out because we are motivated to get something in return. But, believe me, the rewards we feel from the gratitude and the smiles of those we help, is beyond measure. I would like to send the message to all members of the community that if you join us in doing hesed through the Mitzvah Man organization, or even by  writing a check, YOU A GUARANTYING THE FUTURE OF OUR COMMUNITY.  

Thank you Michael, thank you to all the volunteers, and most of all thank you to Hashem, who every day gives us the choice of how to spend our time and money. May we all spend these wisely! 

Your Friend, 

Steve M. 

Riddles – February 2023

Riddle: Ladies Wear

What is the proper length for a lady’s skirt?

Submitted by:  Kelly L.

 

Previous Month’s Riddle: All In The Family

Leah has a very big family. There are 25 uncles, 25 aunts, and 40 cousins. Each of her cousins has an uncle who is not Leah’s uncle. How is this possible?

Solution: Their uncle is Leah’s father!

 

Solved by: The Blum Family, Rita Ibragimov, The Big Cheese, Rose W., Yaakov Ibragimov,  Leon H., and The Shmulster.

 

 

Junior Riddle: Heaven and Earth

What is one thing that all men, women, and children, regardless of their wisdom or religion, agree is between heaven and earth?

 

Submitted by: Carl D.

 

Previous Month’s Junior Riddle: Figure Out The Word   

The first two letters signify a male while the first three letters signify a female; the first four letters signify a champion while the entire world signifies a great woman. What word is it?

Solution: Heroine!

 

Solved by:  Big Mike, The Kassab Family, Isaac Dana, The Blum Family, Jaclyn Dana, The Shmulster, and Rose W.

Should You Sell or Rent Out Your Second Home?

Many families invest in real estate to provide extra income for their families, not because they plan to one day live in the extra home they have purchased. Usually, one thinks of “a second home” as a vacation property. For our purposes, we will define a  second home as one you do not plan on living in, but have bought for the sole purpose of providing income. Let’s look at some factors owners of “second homes” should consider. 

Why Sell a Second Home? 

Free Up Equity – You have equity tied up in the home.  Often, homeowners need to sell their existing home to afford the down payment on a new home. 

Good Market – It’s a hot seller’s market.  If homes in your market are selling quickly and for high prices, it may be the perfect time to sell off a second home.  Check out the best times to list in your area. 

Less Responsibility – You’re not interested in being a landlord.  Overseeing a rental property can be stressful and time-consuming. And if the rent you’d be able to charge wouldn’t cover your mortgage and  your property management costs, then it might make sense to sell instead of becoming a DIY property manager. 

Taxes And a Second Home 

  • Property Taxes – Of course, you’ll still be on the hook for any property taxes that are due while you’re the owner of a home, whether you’re living in it or renting it out. 
  • Tax Implications on Rental Homes –  Make sure to speak to your accountant about tax rules for renting or selling a second home before you make your decision. 
  • Capital Gains Taxes –  Depending on how long you’ve lived in the house and other applicable factors, you may be subject to capital gains taxes. 

Sell or Rent?   

When deciding whether to sell your home or to rent it out, start with listing what your goals are. What would you do with the proceeds if sold, and what would you do to manage the house if you rent it out? Once you have answered these you can proceed accordingly. 

As homes increase in price they become less desirable as rentals because the return of rent goes down.  You need to have enough liquid cash to maintain the property and pay property taxes and mortgage payments in the event of a vacancy.  If you don’t have that cash, renting might not be right for you.  When a rental property becomes vacant, not only do you lose rental income, but you still have to pay for the normal property expenses and any mortgages. 

While it’s always good to do your own research, you can also reach out to a well-regarded professional real estate agent to get their opinion on the local market factors, whether your house would make a good rental. The agent can also help you to determine the value of your home. 

When Repairs Matter

In general, the condition of the home matters less to potential renters than to buyers.  So, if the home could use some work, it might make more sense to rent the property than make all the upgrades necessary to sell.

Big-Ticket Items 

Regardless of whether you rent or sell your home, you’ll want to address issues with your home’s major systems like the roof, furnace, water heater, and electrical panel.

Dear Jido – February 2023

Dear Jido,  

We’ve gotten into a situation where my preschooler associates Shabbat entirely with eating treats. While her diet is generally pretty healthy, Shabbat is a different story, and between dessert at dinner, kiddush after services, dessert again at lunch, and treats at afternoon playdates, it’s gotten out of hand. How can we scale back without taking away any of the joy?  

Signed,  

Sweet but Sour

Dear Mrs. Sweetness,

That’s a toughie. As a Jido, when the grandchildren come over, that’s what we DO.

Okay, let me try to go back about 40 years.

This is what I would suggest: Rather than making it into a fight that you can’t have this or you can’t have that, turn it into a positive. 

On Friday evenings, lay out on the table five or six of her favorite treats, portion-sized to your approval. Ask your daughter to pick three of them – one for Friday night, one for after lunch, and one for the afternoon “Shabbat Party.” Let HER choose. Empower her to be in charge of which treats she gets after looking at them and after you’ve already approved how much of each. (Try to be a little generous at the beginning, and week after week, cut back on the portions if appropriate.)  

Of course, after she picks the three that SHE wants, she can have some of the jelly beans all three times or a piece of the cookie twice. Also, of course, if she “cheats,” she loses the balance of what she’s chosen. 

Giving a child choices helps them to learn responsibility. It teaches them to make decisions within the limits that you’ve set. Believe it or not, children thrive when they have boundaries set for them. It helps them take charge of their lives.

Otherwise, she would probably just choose to come over to my house! 

Shabbat Shalom,

Jido 

Mabrouk – February 2023

MABROUK 

Births – Baby Boy 

Rabbi Joey & Rebecca Sultan 

David & Rosie Cohen 

Maurice & Joyce Hamaoi  

 

Births – Baby Girl 

Irving & Loren Franco 

Albert & Sara Wahba 

Eli & Allie Dabbah 

Jack & Joy Pinedo 

 

Bar Mitzvahs 

Aaron, son of Shlomo and Camelia Sheinkopf 

 

Engagements 

Isaac Ayal to Charlize Assoulin 

Martin Cohen to Rachel Serouya 

Ezra Adjmi to Victoria Harary 

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What Is Drinking on Purim All About?

LEON SAKKAL

With the festive holiday of Purim right around the corner, we are confronted with a topic that never ceases to confuse us. It is the seven-word declaration issued by the holy rabbi, Rava, in the Gemara[1]: “Hayav inish libesumei bepuraya ad delo yada – “One is obligated to drink on the Festival of Purim until he does not know [the difference between ‘cursed be Haman’ and ‘blessed be Mordechai’].” This declaration has us scratching our heads every year, as we are never quite able to understand this extraordinary obligation. Understanding the topic, from the perspective of either halachah (Jewish law) or hashkafah (Jewish thought) is no easy task.

 

A Touchy Subject

If you can’t seem to grasp the notion underlying this seemingly peculiar halachah, don’t worry – you are not alone. Anyone familiar with the matter from a halachic standpoint know even sages who lived in the era of the Rishonim[2] were bewildered by this statement. It is a matter that great rabbis have grappled with for many hundreds of years.

While the Rif[3], the Rosh[4],and the Tur[5] seem to require one to drink to the point of intoxication, the Orhot Haim[6] maintains that it is forbidden to get drunk. In his view, as well as that of the Yad Efrayim, the mitzvah requires one to drink just slightly more than he is accustomed to. The Bach disputes this ruling, stating that one should drink considerably more than he is accustomed to. Other authorities, such as the Rambam[7] and Mahariv[8], instruct us to drink “ad sheyishtaker – until one reaches intoxication,” and then sleep. One will then not know the difference between “cursed is Haman” and “blessed is Mordechai,” as Rava requires. This view was later accepted by the Rema[9] and, ultimately, the Mishnah Berurah.

In case you’re not already confused, take a look at the comments of the Gra (Vilna Gaon), who presents a much different view. Indeed, the broad range of opinions is enough to keep a Torah scholar busy for days on end!

 

Should We Encourage Excessive Drinking?

Since the miracle of Purim took place through the parties arranged by Queen Esther, which consisted of eating and drinking, our sages instituted that we should drink “yoter mehergelo” – more wine than we are normally accustomed to drinking. Their intention, among others, is to establish a zecher (reminder) of the profound miracle Hashem performed for his people.[10]

However, while the incorporation of wine for this reason is understandable, the question remains, is it not uncharacteristic of Hazal to require us to drink “ad sheyistaker” – to the point of inebriation? Jews are, and always have been, a people of awareness and intellect. The mere concept of excessive drinking is frowned upon by our communities across the globe, and this has always been so. Where does wine fit into the moral, disciplined lifestyle that we are directed to lead?

 

Wine in Judaism

Both the Talmud and Scripture speak of the benefits of wine consumption. Wine is described as “bringing joy to Gd and man,”[11] and we find in the Talmud dictums like “Ein simhah ela bebasar veyayin – There is no joy without meat and wine.”[12] These passages certainly seem to approve of the consumption of wine. Moreover, numerous mitzvot are accompanied by a cup of wine. We use wine for kiddush and havdallah on Shabbat and holidays, and we similarly recite berachot over cups of wine beneath the wedding canopy, at a berit mila, and at a pidyon haben. And let’s not forget the four cups of wine we drink at the Passover seder.

On the other hand, we find several indications that intoxication is clearly discouraged by Torah tradition. Noah, whose righteousness caused Hashem to spare the human race, was shamed by the consumption of wine. Aharon’s two holy sons, Nadav and Avihu, entered the Mishkan while intoxicated and were consumed by a heavenly fire. Similarly, the Torah extols the virtue, courage, and holiness of a nazir who vows to abstain from wine.

What, then, is the Torah’s outlook on wine? Is it a holy beverage with immense powers, reserved for holy and special occasions? Or is it a destructive agent with the power to bring down mighty people – a substance to be avoided at all costs?

The answer, interestingly enough, is that it is both!

 

Revealing the Depths of the Human Soul

The gemara[13] teaches, “Nichnas yayin yatza sod – When wine enters, secrets come out.” When one becomes inebriated, his spiritual depth is revealed.

Suppose that someone with an awful character; who has no intention of climbing the ladder of spirituality, chooses to join in the Purim fun. He drinks cup after cup, not wasting a moment’s time to seize this once-a-year opportunity. Don’t be surprised to find this individual’s vile demeanor amplified tenfold; for when wine comes in, the true essence of its consumer comes out. Wine relaxes our inhibitions and weakens the mind’s natural defenses, allowing the nefesh, the seat of all our emotions, personality, and identity, to shine through.

It is therefore no secret why so many hachamim and tzadikim are able to attain lofty spiritual heights during the Purim feast. While intoxication may magnify a nasty character in some, it can bring out peace, contentment, brotherhood, and love of Gd in those who truly seek to draw spiritual elevation from the day.

Hence, when utilized properly, wine offers great benefits. However, if wine is misused or abused, it presents grave dangers. How we make use of itis entirely up to us.

 

Defining the Mitzvah

Turning our attention to the obligation to drink on Purim, let us address four simple questions:

  • Who?
  • What?
  • When?
  • Why?

Who?

Gd’s Hand rescued Jewish men and women from Haman’s wicked decree, and thus both men and women are obligated to partake in the mitzvah of seudat Purim (the Purim feast). However, women should drink just a little wine, and certainly not become intoxicated.[14]

If one’s parents warn him not to drink excessively on Purim, in line with the halachic prohibition against excessive drinking, he should certainly obey their wishes and drink only a little more than usual.[15]

What?

Most early authorities[16] specify that the mitzvah requires drinking wine, and not other intoxicating drinks.  There is, however, a minority view that seems to suggest that one does not have to drink wine specifically.

Grape juice does not suffice for fulfilling this mitzvah.

When?

Many Ashkenazim have the custom to eat the Purim meal in the afternoon, after praying Minhah, whereas many Sephardic communities eat the meal in the morning. Someone who is being hosted for the Purim meal should follow the host’s custom, and  enjoy a breakfast or lunch of meat and wine. One does not fulfill the mitzvah by drinking wine on Purim night.

Why?

As mentioned above, the seudah we eat on Purim serves to commemorate the miracle Gd performed for the Jewish People.

Furthermore, from a kabbalistic standpoint, by drinking, we weaken the mind’s normal resistances, thus making us freer to feel the Oneness of Gd and of the universe. It is often hard to see the good within the many hardships we face in life, but when we “let our guard down,” and allow our spirituality shine through, we can more clearly recognize that although times may be tough, it is indeed all for the best. We recall that there is a beneficent Gd behind everything, manipulating events solely for our good. In our period of hester panim, a time in history when Gd’s face is more “hidden” than ever, the Purim miracle reminds us of how He has continually helped us throughout every stage of our lives.

 

The Holiest Day in the Jewish Calendar

It is important to remember the teaching of our rabbis: “Ivdu et Hashem besimhah vegilu bir’adah – Serve Gd with joy, and celebrate with trembling.”[17] The tremendous amount of joy we feel on Purim must be conducted with a degree of awe and reverence toward Hashem. As our sages comment regarding this verse, “Where there is joy – there must be trembling.”

The Arizal states that Purim is the holiest day of the year; a day that is even holier than Yom Kippur. It is therefore important to note that one who feels his alcohol intake may bring him to act in a repugnant or foolish manner – especially if his drinking might lead him to cause harm to others – should certainly avoid wine on the holiday, not to mention throughout the rest of the year.

Purim Sameah!