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Kosher Paradise at Grand Hyatt Playa del Carmen

Luxury and Tradition Meet South of the Border

J. Cohen

Nestled in the vibrant heart of Mexico’s Riviera Maya, Playa del Carmen offers sun, sand, and now, a seamless blend of five-star luxury with year-round kosher hospitality. The Grand Hyatt Playa del Carmen has embraced a unique initiative, establishing itself as a premier destination for discerning travelers, including the observant Jewish community, seeking both relaxation and reliable kosher dining.  

What began as a successful Passover program sparked an idea: why not cater to kosher guests 365 days a year?. After careful planning, the resort transformed its grill restaurant into a dedicated kosher establishment, “The Grill”. But the commitment doesn’t stop there. Kosher options permeate the resort experience. Guests can enjoy 24-hour kosher room service (with breakfast best ordered the day before), poolside kosher burgers, and even kosher bakery items at the coffee shop – perfect for grabbing a bite before heading out on a tour. The Grill itself welcomes not just hotel guests, but visitors from other properties and the local Playa del Carmen community.  

Beyond the extensive culinary offerings, the Grand Hyatt Playa del Carmen ensures comfort for observant guests with thoughtful accommodations like a dedicated prayer room available year-round. The hotel also collaborates with partners to offer exclusive packages during holidays and festivities, incorporating kosher food and beverage options.  

When asked about his personal highlights, General Manager Paul Wood points to three standout features. First, the award-winning Cenote Spa, recognized globally for its excellence, offers a sanctuary for relaxation. Second, the food itself, particularly the carefully curated kosher menu, stands out as a significant achievement. Finally, Mr. Wood praises the hotel staff. Recognizing the importance of cultural understanding, the local team receives regular training from a rabbi, ensuring knowledgeable, sensitive, and welcoming service for all guests.  

For travelers seeking a luxurious Mexican getaway without compromising on kosher requirements, the Grand Hyatt Playa del Carmen presents a compelling option. Offering exceptional amenities, dedicated service, and comprehensive kosher dining available every day of the year, it’s a destination where convenience meets Caribbean charm. More information and packages can be found on the hotel’s website via Hyatt.com.

Dear Jido – December 2023

Dear Jido,

My wife and I are having a difficult time teaching our seven-year-old (privileged) son the importance of being thankful. We would like to know if you can offer advice on how we can we teach him gratitude. He takes his belongings for granted, doesn’t understand the value of things we pay for, and generally doesn’t realize how good he’s got it. How can we help him appreciate the life we’re providing for him?

Signed,

Frustrated Parents

 

Dear Frustrated,

 

As with everything in life that we want to teach our children, it all begins with one thing – EXAMPLE. Parents have to use every opportunity to express gratitude to everyone and for everything, especially to each other. Even if you are expected to bring home a paycheck and your wife has to do the wash, that does not excuse a lack of thankfulness. Make it a point to verbalize your words of gratitude in front of him. You found a parking spot easily? He got new school sneakers and a backpack? You bought him holiday outfits? Let the words “Thank You!” permeate your home.

We are taught to begin each day with the prayer of “Modeh Ani” – “Thank You Hashem for another day.” This becomes a mindset. Actively teach your son to start his morning with these words. Also, a beautiful way to end each day is to teach him to thank Hashem for his blessings before he goes to sleep. This will become a positive awareness that you should help him cultivate as he grows. There’s no question that daily thanks compels us to feel joy – “Look what the Creator of the Universe did for ME today!”

 

If he’s really stubborn about expressing gratitude, try another approach. We know that “takers” in life are naturally unhappy. They are always expecting more and more and are never satisfied. Children who do not make “giving” a part of their life grow up demanding and arrogant. Have him pitch in and see what it’s like to help cut up a salad, put away the toys, set the table, and bring the groceries in from the car. If you nudge him out of his selfie universe, he will slowly learn to value and cherish what everyone else does for him rather than just expecting more presents.

 

And when he asks, “Why do I have to do all these things?  None of my friends do!” –  just tell him it’s because you love him more than anything or anyone in the world and you want him to be happy. Hopefully he’ll respond, “Oh, okay. Thank you!”

 

Thank you,

Jido

 

The War Continues…

Avi Kumar 

 

The world closely watches as the Operation Swords of Iron war in Gaza unfolds. Hamas, the Sunni Islamist political and military organization that controls the Gaza Strip, claimed responsibility for the atrocities of October 7th. Over 1,200 Israelis were murdered, and over 200 hostages were taken captive. Israel mobilized 300,000 reservists to fight Hamas, and to locate and free the hostages.  

 

The Israeli army has penetrated deep inside the Hamas-controlled heartland in the Gaza Strip and has taken partial control of the northern end of the 140 square mile enclave. Clearly, Israel has a strong advantage militarily. However, Hamas has employed a number of stalling strategies to keep Israeli troops from advancing forward and now downwards in what has evolved into a subterranean war.  

 

Israel also faces external threats by Iran’s other proxies as they mount attacks on the northern and southern borders and from Yemen.  Every decision made by the leadership is a critical one as battling Hamas, rescuing hostages, and minimizing losses all are top priority.  

 

Early Timeline  

 

October 7th 

 

In response to the Oct. 7th massacre, Israelis put aside their differences and became united. Hamas’ actions declared to the world that they had little concern for the political leanings, ethnic affiliation, or religious views of any Jew who had the misfortune to be in their murderous path on October 7th. From foreign nationals to Israeli Arabs, from young to old, none were spared. The atrocities sent shockwaves across the nation and world.  

 

October 9th 

 

The Israeli Air Force began a barrage of airstrikes against Hamas. Defense Minister Yoav Gallant stated that he had ordered “a complete siege” on Gaza and that there would “be no electricity, no food, and no fuel” entering the territory, while Energy Minister Yisrael Katz said he instructed the Water Authority to cut off Israel’s water supply to the Gaza Strip on the same day. 

But the provision of some supplies, including water, has resumed to a limited extent, following heavy international pressure – particularly from the Biden administration – amid concerns voiced by the UN and international NGOs that a humanitarian crisis could develop in Gaza. 

 

The IDF has ramped up intelligence operations to locate and assassinate Hamas leaders. On the top of the list is Yahya Sinwar, the head of Hamas in Gaza since 2017.  

 

October 27th  

 

Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu vowed to end the threat of Hamas and refused to agree to any ceasefire until the hostages are safely released and are back home safely. Israeli troops first entered into the Gaza Strip on October 27th. Now there are over 20,000 troops deployed within Gaza, mostly in the north. The region is effectively split into two parts.  

 

This figure represents the largest number of Jews to have entered Gaza since Ariel Sharon’s unilateral disengagement in 2005, when all Jewish settlements were dismantled and abandoned.  

 

October 29th 

 

Defense Minister Yoav Gallant said he expected the “second stage of the war” to wage on for “months.” Future stages include eliminating pockets of resistance.  Apart from Hamas, other militias that have armed presence are the PFLP (Popular Front for The Liberation of Palestine), PIJ (Palestinian Islamic Jihad), and DFLP (Democratic Front for The Liberation of Palestine).  

 

November 7th 

 

In Israel’s battle to wipe out Hamas, one of the main targets has been Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar, said to be trapped inside a bunker in Gaza City, the Hamas stronghold in the north of the territory. 

 

Israeli Defense Minister Yoav Gallant told a televised news conference that Israeli soldiers had advanced to the “heart of Gaza City” and “were tightening the noose.” Israeli troop presence within city limits is limited and a siege was undertaken.  

 

Diplomacy and the World Picture 

 

Diplomacy during this war is very different from times past. This is primarily due to two reasons – now Israel’s ties with the Middle East and the West are rapidly evolving and also because emotions run high. Following the Abraham Accords in 2020, a few Arab nations have warmed up and even recognize Israel including the UAE, Bahrain, and Morocco. These Arab countries share a common enemy, the Islamic Republic of Iran.. Commentators point to the United States’ pro-Israel stance as connected in part to the US position on Iran. 

 

However, international attitudes could change. The  longer the war in Gaza continues there is a chance of media fatigue with the Middle East. For now, the media spotlight has taken our minds off the Ukraine War. The more things evolve on the ground and change, international pressure could change, for the better or for the worse.  

 

Inside Gaza 

 

So far, more than a million Gazans have been displaced and many traversed on foot south into Khan Younis and other towns. The IDF issued multiple warnings to the Palestinians to flee, including dropping leaflets in Arabic informing them of the upcoming military action, and promising them safe passage south if they waved white flags showing their desire to leave peacefully. Hamas allegedly prevented Gazans from evacuating by shooting them or hitting roads with mortar fire so they could not leave. The IDF also accused Hamas several times of using civilians as human shields. 

 

A recent image circulating on social media showed members of the IDF’s Golani Brigade sitting in armchairs inside Hamas’ parliament building in Gaza City, after its capture. This marked a strategic victory. 

 

The Shin Bet believes that Hamas members are hiding in tunnels and are using hospitals and ambulances to store and transport weapons, explosives, and rockets. These actions by Hamas have been heavily criticized. Captured militants told the Israeli intelligence that this strategy was employed to prevent them from being targeted by Israeli strikes.  

 

Thousands of people fled al-Shifa hospital in Gaza City. Israel claims the hospital is built over a Hamas command center. The U.S. says its intelligence backs this claim, but Hamas vehemently denies it. 

 

Health officials have claimed that the remaining patients inside the hospital would die due to energy shortages and cuts.  

 

However, Israel’s Channel 12 News have noted that if the IDF’s claims hold correct, Hamas had been hoarding enough fuel to keep all of the hospitals in the strip operating over a span of several days. The IDF on October 24th claimed that photos show Hamas holds half a million liters of fuel stored in Gaza. Clearly, local Gazans are not a priority for Hamas. 

 

 

Tunnel War 

 

Tunnel warfare first made headlines in 2006, when Hamas abducted and kidnapped Israeli soldier Gilad Shalit. He was captured in a cross-border raid via tunnels near the Israeli border at the Kerem Shalom crossing. He was released five long years later in a controversial prisoner exchange. Shalit was freed after the release of 1,027 Israeli-held security prisoners, 280 of whom were serving life sentences for planning and perpetrating terror attacks against Israeli targets. In this exchange, Hamas leader Yahya Sinwar was released, who Netanya described as a “little Hitler in his bunker” with “no care for his people.” 

Many have compared the war with Hamas  with the Vietnam War. The major difference is that Gaza is urban rather than jungle, and Hamas has had more time to expand its reach than did the Viet Cong.  

 

Israel controls the skies over the Gaza Strip, and has the edge on land, with troop numbers and tanks. They have controlled the seas and maritime boundaries long before the siege began. The IDF can destroy any building with a well-placed missile. But as the IDF forces advance through the urban jungle, they are uncovering another battleground: the vast network of concrete, reinforced tunnels built by Hamas as well as booby traps.  

 

The soil in Gaza is geologically softer than the soil in New York or Lebanon, where Hezbollah also uses tunnels. The soft soil is easy to dig and to build vast networks with. The tunnels network is comparable to the New York subway system, but rather than being built for commuter transport for daily work and activity, it is custom built for guerilla warfare and to hide militants.  

 

The IDF has a sub-unit dedicated to fighting in these quarters that is a part of Yahalom, the special forces unit of the Combat Engineering Corps. The tunnel sub-unit is called Samur or “weasel” in Hebrew.  

 

The tunnels stretch 15 feet to 200 feet in length and can descend approximately 20-30 stories below the ground. Inside the tunnels there is no GPS availability. Communications are very inconsistent in this type of environment, so the troops cannot communicate with the outside world.  

 

Before the IDF can go into a tunnel, an autonomous robot scouts the terrain, using lasers to navigate and operate on its own. This data is evaluated before they can send in humans to push forward.  

 

Influx of Israelis Return from Abroad  

 

Thousands of Israelis rushed back to Israel after October 7th. Reservists, many who were on vacation or had moved abroad for an extended period of time, dropped everything to rush home. In one day over 100 Israelis headed home from Katmandu.   

 

 

 

Israel’s army relies on an extensive reserve contingent, comprised of civilians who have completed their compulsory national service but can be mobilized again for duty until the age of forty or even older in times of emergency. 

 

Within the ranks of the reservists called up were many well-known figures including ex-prime ministers (Naftali Bennet), former Knesset members, actors, models, and pop stars. Many posted pictures of themselves in uniform on Instagram.  

Among those answering the call were many of the hit TV show Fauda’s cast and crew. Both Lior Raz and Avi Issacharoff were deployed. Raz stars as Officer Doron Kabilio and also produces Fauda along with series co-creator Issacharoff. Prior to the show, Raz was a soldier in a special forces unit. 

 

Master Sgt Matan Meir, a longtime member of the Fauda production team, was one of four soldiers of the 697th Battalion who was killed November 11 by a booby-trapped tunnel shaft next to a mosque. The troops were not inside the tunnel. 

 

Also, prominent Israeli social media influencer and Netanyahu aide, Hananya Naftali was drafted.  

 

Israel’s oldest active soldier, Ezra Yakhine, whose father was from Aleppo, Syria, volunteered despite his being 95. Having fought in the Lehi militia (whose mission was the violent eviction of the  British authorities in the 1940s) Yakhine returned to the front to give motivational talks to young soldiers before they headed off to fight.  

 

Outside of Israel 

 

Amid rising death tolls and an international outcry over the humanitarian situation in Gaza, however, the Biden administration has been warning Israel that its support may be waning. 

 

Diaspora Jewry has seen a dramatic rise in anti-Semitism, especially on university campuses.  Security has been beefed up in synagogues and Jewish buildings around the world.  

 

Pro-Palestinian marches have attracted thousands in Europe and the West. Israel’s supporters have held rallies of our own, with the most dramatic and well attended occurring in Washington, D.C.  Over 300 000 attended the Washington DC rally for Israel on Tuesday, November 14th.  

 

Meanwhile, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu also issued a warning to cabinet ministers to choose their words more carefully and not stoke controversy. “Every word has meaning when it comes to diplomacy. If you don’t know – don’t speak,” the prime minister said during a cabinet meeting after facing criticism about racist rhetoric including “nuking” Gaza (Heritage Minister Amichai Eliyahu claimed his comment about nuking Gaza was only “metaphorical” after it sparked controversy.) and a new “Nakba.” Nakba literally means “catastrophe” in Arabic, and refers to the 1948 War of Independence, when many Palestinians were displaced. 

 

Violence on Other Fronts 

 

While the IDF has been preoccupied in Gaza, other fronts have become volatile. Soldiers were deployed in the West Bank to battle insurgents – notably in Jenin, which has been a hub of instability and terrorism in the last few years. The Houthis, a Zaydi Shiite movement that has been fighting Yemen’s Sunni-majority government since 2004, is an Iranian proxy in Yemen. The Houthis also claimed responsibility for a drone attack on the southern city of Eilat on November 9th, making it the southernmost enemy to have directly engaged in war.  

 

 

Hezbollah in Lebanon have also attacked from the north using a “tit for tat” strategy. Hezbollah are believed to be the most powerful of the Iranian proxies, with an arsenal said to rival that of certain small nations. While their goal might be to keep the IDF distracted and spread their manpower and resources thin, all-out war has only been hinted at for now.  

 

 

The Future 

 

Noone can predict how long this war will continue or what will happen if Israel destroys Hamas completely. Gaza will never be the same. Hamas’ control and morale is shattered even if they survive politically and militarily. Hamas does not have the capability to destroy Israel, but they have already done great harm to Israel economically and psychologically.  

 

President Joe Biden and UK Prime Minister Rishi Sunak, who have been allies of Israel, have spoken in favor of a “two state solution” after the war is over. However, even leftist Israelis are now more skeptical of the wisdom of a Palestinian state within Israel’s borders. Netanyahu has spoken against granting Mahmoud Abbas and the PLO in the West Bank power in Gaza in the future.    

 

Certainly, a post-Hamas Gaza would require significant international attention and assistance to rebuild. The UN has a long history of anti-Israel sentiment, and its role post-war is not clear.  

 

Conclusion 

 

Israelis are weary of war. Yet, the general consensus is that after the atrocities of October 7th, Israel is duty-bound to fight Hamas, to prevent a repeat of unspeakable brutal cruelty.  Israelis mourn the loss of every single soldier, from every community. The Druze community, for example, lost Lieutenant-Colonel Salman Habaka, who is believed to be the most senior Israeli officer killed in action.  

 

But Israelis are also looking at the positive. The country has united and Israelis from all walks of life have extended their hands to their brothers and sisters, hosting families who have fled their homes, cooking and preparing treats and sending essential items for soldiers, and holding vigils for the hostages. So far, four Israeli hostages have been released. And miracle stories abound about soldiers who miraculously escaped certain death. 

 

Israelis from around the world have returned to their homeland to fight. They and their comrades repeat and believe: Am Yisrael Chai 

Keep Pushing Forward!

Unfortunately, it is very difficult to discern the critical difference between healthy guilt and unhealthy guilt, or what we call shame. Healthy guilt is the experience of realizing that our actions that lead us astray are beneath us, that we are better than our behaviors. It is simply not becoming for a prince of the King of the Universe to act in this way. The key here is to view ourselves as above our poor decision and actions.  

Conversely, unhealthy guilt/shame conceptually means equating our sins with who we are as a person. Our identity becomes what we have done, and we say to ourselves, “If I committed those aveirot, I am obviously an awful person.” When we identify with our flaws and our worst moments, that shame permeates our entire being, making it extremely difficult to return. We believe that the only way out of our despair is not to merely change our choices and actions, but to completely alter who we are. Yet since we perceive ourselves as despicable, the mere thought of becoming better can be overwhelming.  

The prince in our previous example does not have to change his identity. He is a prince, after all. He just needs to start acting like one. 

But he must be patient with himself. 

In many cases, this despair can be traced to the desire for instant gratification. We think, I am going to make sure to pray with kavanah, with concentration. We suppose that it is enough to try and then boom! – all of our tefillot are going to be filled with kavanah from beginning to end. And while we’re at it, we think, I’m going to go through Mesillat Yesharim and become an expert at every middah listed there. If I just stick to it – and there’s no reason to think I won’t – in due time, I’ll be the biggest tzaddik/tzaddeiket around! 

And then, how frustrated we become when we don’t see it happening! 

Slow and Steady Wins the Race 

 

Accordingly, we must bear in mind the all-important rule: Slow and steady wins the race. Don’t overload, don’t jump the gun. The Gemara (Kiddushin 17a) warns, “If you grasp too much, you’re not grasping anything. If you grasp a bit, you’re grasping something.” 

 

And even with that little bit that we can do, we’re going to flounder and mess up. That’s just the way the cookie crumbles. As Shlomo Hamelech states (Mishlei 24:16), “The tzaddik falls seven times and he arises.” 

 

Which brings us to a favorite theme of our society: diets. 

Beware: most diets don’t work. That is a researched fact, with myriad reasons behind it. One of those reasons is that it is only natural to succumb to temptation and eat the cookie that is against the diet’s rules and regulations…So we go ahead and eat the cookie.  

 

Make the Right Choice 

Now we are faced with two choices. Either we pick ourselves up and say, “Okay, I fell, that’s understandable. After all, I do love cookies,” and then get right back on track, and watch our food intake carefully for the rest of the day. 

Or, we make the unfortunate choice made by so many. “Look at me, so undisciplined! I promised myself I would be ‘good’ this time, and now I’m never going to lose an ounce.  Once I cheated and messed up today, I may as well finish the entire box of cookies!” 

That would be like the farmer saying, “Okay, that’s it. Forget it! I received a worthless field. I’m not working anymore. I’ll just throw in the towel!” 

Rather, we must not despair, but keep pushing forward, doing our best with the “field” we have been given. 

 TAKEAWAY 

 

Keep working steadily toward your goal. When you fall and fail, dust yourself off, stand up again, and get right back to work. If you stick to it, you will eventually succeed. 

 

For example, if you inadvertently spoke lashon hara during the hour in which you were meant to be extra vigilant about guarding your tongue, don’t drop out of the program altogether. Rather, figure out a way to remind yourself not to speak lashon hara during your designated time slot, and keep up the momentum!

Once Upon a Thyme – Twice Baked Potatoes & Cheese

These cheesy, twice-baked potatoes are easy and quick to prepare, using ingredients you probably already have on hand. Don’t worry much if the potato skin falls apart when scooping out the potato flesh – you can place and serve the potato skins in individual ramekins, hiding any torn peels. Spinach can be swapped for fresh mushrooms or frozen broccoli. You can also serve a variety of baked potatoes by dividing the potato mixture three ways, adding spinach, mushroom, and broccoli to each. Enjoy!  

 

 

8 medium to large potatoes  

1 cup fresh parsley, chopped fine 

1 tbsp salt 

2 tbsp butter or oil 

2 onions, diced 

16 oz shredded mozzarella cheese  

2 cups frozen spinach 

 

Recipe:  

  1. Scrub potato skins and wrap each individually in foil.  
  2. Place on a lined baking tray and bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 1-1 ½  hours.   
  3. When the cooked potatoes are thoroughly cooled off, cut each in half lengthwise and carefully separate the potato flesh from the skin with a spoon, placing the potato flesh into a large bowl, and skins on a lined tray. Be sure to leave a bit of potato attached to the skin to keep it from tearing apart. 
  4. Use a fork or potato mashing tool to smash the potato flesh to the consistency of mashed potatoes. Set aside.  
  5. In a large skillet, sauté onions in butter until golden, about 15 minutes on a low flame, stirring often so it doesn’t burn. Add spinach and cook until soft. Add salt to taste.  
  6. Remove spinach and onion mixture from the flame and add to the bowl of mashed potatoes. Add parsley and mix well. 
  7. Carefully spoon the potato-spinach mixture back into cooked potato skins and cover with a generous helping of mozzarella.  
  8. Broil on low for 5-7 minutes, until the cheese is browned and melted.   

 

Recipe, photo, and styling by Adina Yaakov, registered dietitian nutritionist. For more recipes, visit her website www. OnceUponAThyme.co.  

Responses to Rising Anti-Semitism on University Campuses

Like dry kindling awaiting a single spark, the October 7 massacre (in which over 1,400 Israelis were murdered and hundreds more were injured and kidnapped) lit a bushfire of pro-Hamas rallies and confrontations in colleges and universities across North America. Before Israel had a chance to absorb, let alone respond, to the brutal attack, campuses were already becoming flashpoints of hateful rhetoric, anti-Semitic demonstrations, and confrontations. 

 

On October 9, a group of 34 student organizations at Harvard University swiftly issued a statement assigning total responsibility for the violence to the “Israeli regime.” This was followed by the national leadership of Students for Justice in Palestine (SJP) calling for a “Day of Resistance” on October 12, urging demonstrations across college campuses. Faculty members added to the anti-Israel fervor. At one demonstration, an associate professor of African American history at Cornell University, Russel J. Rickford, expressed his delight about the attacks, exclaiming, “It was exhilarating! It was energizing!” Later he issued an apology acknowledging that his words were “reprehensible.” A petition calling for his termination gained nearly 11,000 signatures. Cornell University confirmed his leave of absence and reassigned his course to another professor.  

 

A Stanford University lecturer has been suspended for allegedly making Jewish students stand in a corner and then branded them as “colonizers,” while also downplaying the Holocaust and defending murderous Hamas terrorists as “freedom fighters.”   

 

Joseph Massad, a professor of Modern Arab Politics and Intellectual History at Columbia University, wrote in an online article on October 9th that Hamas’  “awesome and incredible” offenses against Israel on October 7th were a “stunning victory.”  He faces calls for his removal in an online petition that has surpassed 30,000 signatures! 

 

At George Washington University,  the campus library’s exterior walls were turned into screens for slogans such as “Glory to our martyrs” and “Divestment from Zionist genocide now.” In New York, at Cooper Union College, Jewish students were forced to barricade themselves in a library as pro-Palestinian protesters banged on the doors and brandished wooden sticks and anti-Semitic signs in the window. An attempt by pro-Hamas demonstrators to burn an Israeli flag led to a violent altercation at Tulane University, resulting in a Jewish student suffering a broken nose after being struck with a megaphone. Multiple explicit violent threats targeting Jewish students were made on an online bulletin board. At Cornell University, multiple explicit violent threats on an online platform such as, “If I see a pig male Jew, I will stab you and slit your throat,” which caused the university to advise Jewish students to avoid the kosher dining hall, “out of an abundance of caution.”  

 

The incidents of harassment, intimidation, and violence against Israeli and Jewish students extend beyond these high-profile cases. Each day seems to bring new pictures and videos circulated on social media that capture the hostility they face. One recurring image, for example, is pictures of students at various universities holding a sign with a Jewish star being thrown into the trash alongside the words, “Let’s keep the world clean.” Videos of students coldly tearing down pictures of kidnapped Israelis and making anti-Semitic statements are likewise commonplace. Moreover, a video from Harvard University demonstrates the normalized hostility on campus. It shows a Jewish student enveloped by a crowd of peers instantly surrounded by a swarm of his peers holding up keffiyehs (a symbol of Palestinian resistance), obstructing his way and chanting, “Shame! Shame! Shame!” in unison. These examples are not merely anecdotal or isolated but are indicative of a pervasive trend that has sparked concern among students, parents, and faculty alike. 

 

Students Speak Out 

As tensions on campuses escalate, Jewish students are raising their voices, demanding action and protection from their universities. At a press conference, Columbia University and Barnard College students expressed their frustration with the administration’s lack of response to threats and called for more robust safety measures. 

 

A Barnard College psychology student, Jessica Brenner, shared her daily struggle. “Every day, as I walk on campus, I feel dehumanized. I feel unheard, and I feel unsafe. I feel abandoned.” Brenner’s sentiment was echoed by Yoni Kurtz from Columbia University, who criticized the university for responding to incidents with “empty statements” rather than concrete action. 

 

The students called for the university to clarify and enforce policies against identity-based bigotry, to increase funding and staff to support victims, and to create spaces for dialogue among students from diverse backgrounds. “This hate will not disappear on its own,” said Kurtz.  

 

Donors Take a Stand  

 

In a profound act of solidarity with students and in dismay at the universities’ inadequate response to the October 7 massacre and subsequent campus turmoil, Jewish benefactors are retracting their financial support from the academic institutions they have historically backed.   

 

At a grassroots level, former donors are taking to social media to showcase their marked donation cards, marked with handwritten declarations such as, “Until you protect and support your Jewish students, I am NOT donating ONE DOLLAR” and, “ZERO dollars to organizations that support Hamas.” 

 

Major donors are also taking a stand, attracting media attention as they withdraw their support from the universities they have championed. Leon Cooperman, a Columbia Business School alumnus and CEO of Omega Family Office, expressed his stance on Fox Business: “I’ve given to Columbia, probably about $50 million over many years, and I’m going to suspend my giving.” 

 

The University of Pennsylvania faces a potential loss of up to $1 billion in donations due to a campaign led by Marc Rowan, CEO of Apollo Global Management. Rowan, alongside other alumni, has paused donations, urging for a change in leadership due to their dissatisfaction with the university’s response to the Hamas-inspired violence. In an interview with CNBC, Rowan explained, “There has been a gathering storm around these issues. Microaggressions are condemned with extreme moral outrage, and yet violence, particularly violence against Jews, seems to have found a place of tolerance on the campus, protected by free speech.  

 

“Imagine telling a group of firefighters, a week after 9/11, that you’re sorry for their loss – and then adding the word ‘but’ – as if you’re going to explain the action of the terrorists. That’s kind of what happened on our campus. This has tapped into a nerve. Yesterday, my email and text blew up with people sending me photocopies of a $1 check to the University of Pennsylvania. Sometimes, when people don’t give to the university, the university can misunderstand it. By sending them $1, they’re sending the university a very important message, and trustees are really faced with a very difficult choice.”  

  

Similarly, the Wexner Foundation has severed ties with Harvard University, writing, “We are stunned and sickened at the failure of Harvard’s leadership to take a clear and unequivocal stand against the murder of innocent Israeli citizens…” The letter, signed by prominent figures including Leslie Wexner, marks the end of a longstanding relationship with Harvard, where a building at the John F. Kennedy School of Government bears Wexner’s name. Israeli businessman Idan Ofer and his wife have also resigned from board positions at the Kennedy School. 

 

This financial backlash from donors is a clear message to universities: the Jewish community demands action and accountability, not just words, in the face of anti-Semitic rhetoric, harassment, and violence. 

 

Beyond Financial Withdrawal – Additional Strategies for Combating Campus Anti-Semitism 

 

While the withdrawal of financial support is a powerful expression of opposition, it is one facet of a multifaceted approach needed to address anti-Semitism on university campuses effectively. 

 

Israeli President Herzog has penned an open letter to American universities, advocating for a balance between free speech and preventing violence-inciting speech. Among other suggestions, he has urged universities to establish task forces dedicated to developing comprehensive action plans against anti-Semitism for both campuses and the wider community. 

 

Dartmouth College has emerged as a model for constructive engagement, with Professors Susanna Heschel and T.K. El-Ariss spearheading forums for students to partake in respectful, scholarly discussions concerning the situation in Israel. These forums, endorsed by Dartmouth’s leadership, have cultivated an inclusive atmosphere for diverse student voices and perspectives, while also prioritizing mental health and spiritual support. 

 

In situations where students and faculty face anti-Semitic acts, the law firm Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, in collaboration with the Anti-Defamation League (ADL), Hillel International, and the Louis D. Brandeis Center for Human Rights Under Law, has established the “Campus Anti-Semitism Legal Help Line.” This initiative offers crucial legal assistance and advice to those confronting anti-Semitism. 

 

If the situation becomes completely intolerable for students, Yeshiva University has forged a coalition of over 100 institutions ready to streamline the transfer process for Jewish students seeking to escape anti-Semitic climates in the aftermath of the October 7 Hamas attacks. The list is primarily composed of U.S. Catholic universities that are extending their campuses as sanctuaries for Jewish students subjected to harassment.  

 

A Call to Action: Universities, Donors, and Communities Unite Against Anti-Semitism 

 

As we look to the future, it is clear that the fight against anti-Semitism on campuses requires a collective effort. The measure of our success will not be counted in dollars withdrawn or statements issued but in the everyday experiences of students who should never have to choose between their safety and their education. It calls for the commitment of university administrations, the vigilance of legal and advocacy groups, the compassion of interfaith allies, and the unwavering support of the global community. Our academic institutions must remain places where all students, regardless of their background or beliefs, can pursue knowledge and growth without fear. 

The Failure of American Colleges: A Jewish Student Speaks Out

By A Concerned College Student 

 

As a college student, I feel a great deal of discomfort writing this article about what’s happening on campuses over these last weeks, expressing my feelings about the current state of affairs in American colleges. For one thing, writing about this topic forces me to reveal the embarrassing truth that my kippah has been replaced by a baseball cap, borne out of a fear which I wish I did not experience. 

 

But I am writing nonetheless, because I cannot remain silent, and because I believe there remains some untrodden ground regarding this conversation. Yes, everyone has talked about the Harvard Student Group letter which begins with the outrageous declaration, “We, the undersigned student organizations, hold the Israeli regime entirely responsible for all unfolding violence.” Everyone has also seen the shocking footage of Cooper Union students locked inside a library, and the frightening student-organized protests held in NYU and a few of the CUNYs. 

 

Much has been made over what happened thus far, the current state of events, but far less has been said about how things like this were allowed to unfold. How could these types of statements – so blatantly false – be sanctioned, or even tolerated, by these schools? Why is no disciplinary action being taken against those who support Hamas terrorism?  

 

It is imperative, in my view, for us to address these questions in order to more precisely formulate our criticism of the academic institutions which are failing their Jewish students.  We need to be very specific in stating which actions or inactions we disapprove of. And, secondly, our sages teach us in Pirkeh Avot, “Eizehu hacham? Halomed mikol adam – Who is wise? He who learns from all people.” Clearly understanding the blunders made by others allows us to learn how to avoid those same blunders, both individually and collectively, as a community. 

 

The “They Do Not Speak for Us” Fallacy 

 

Allow me to begin with a point that should be obvious to all.  

 

Harvard President Claudine Gray issued this statement after the publication of the outrageous letter by the student groups blaming Israel for the October 7th atrocities: 

 

Let me also state, on this matter as on others, that while our students have the right to speak for themselves, no student group — not even 30 student groups — speaks for Harvard University or its leadership. 

 

This statement is an attempt to separate the leadership of Harvard – or rather, Harvard’s official stance on the situation in Israel – from the stance of the student clubs which signed the letter casting the blame on Israel. This is not acceptable. The reason, quite simply, is because student groups speak for the university from which they operate. If the Harvard Music Club, for example, puts their heads together and releases something big, that would be a reflection on the university where the club is based. If the admirable actions of student groups represent the university, then the condemnable actions of student groups do, too.  

 

Moreover, the student groups who signed the letter which solely blamed Israel for everything are built with Harvard’s funding, Harvard’s backing, and Harvard’s approval. Hence, these groups’ official statements are very much part – and an exceedingly damaging part – of the university’s public communication. The university cannot allow itself the luxury of conveniently dissociating itself from their outlandish statements. 

 

This is an illustration of the first problem, one which I believe many universities do not understand – the fallacy of “they do not speak for us.” President Gray said this explicitly in her statement: “…no student group — not even 30 student groups — speaks for Harvard University or its leadership. Another example is the statement issued by CUNY Chancellor Felix Rodriguez: 

 

And we wholeheartedly reject the participation of organizations affiliated with CUNY in demonstrations that glorify Saturday’s violence and celebrate the killings, injuries and capture of innocent people. We respect their right to free speech but condemn their support of these crimes against humanity. We want to be clear that students or anyone from CUNY who chooses to organize or attend these events are in no way speaking for or representing our University or its 25 campuses. 

 

CUNY sought to excuse itself by claiming that organizations affiliated with CUNY are not speaking for them. But it doesn’t work that way. 

 

Making a Kiddush Hashem 

 

If the letter is coming from within an organization you sanctioned, or an event is held on campus by a pro-Palestinian group that you funded, then you absolutely bear responsibility for what they say or do. As long as student clubs and groups are active, they speak for whichever university they find themselves in. Any one of them can speak for Harvard, since those groups are sanctioned by Harvard. That’s the way these things work. 

 

But if we hold universities accountable for their official student groups – as we of course should – then we must also assume responsibility for those who speak on our behalf. We need to be very careful when choosing whom we allow to represent us.  

 

If you’re running a company and something goes public for all the wrong reasons, this will damage the company; conversely, if a heartwarming, impressive story comes out of whatever organization you are a part of, the incident positively reflects on your organization’s work.  We, as Jews, must always look to create a kiddush Hashem, to bring respect and esteem to our nation. People are always watching us, and are forming opinions about the Jewish People based on their impression of our conduct. Accordingly, it behooves us to choose our spokespeople carefully, to ensure that Jews who step onto the public stage represent us nobly. We cannot allow ourselves to do what the aforementioned universities do, to conveniently distance ourselves from those speaking on our behalf. 

 

Where are the Consequences? 

 

There is also a second, especially troubling, aspect of the universities’ response, and that is a crucial element which is alarmingly absent from their statement: consequences. 

 

Nowhere in either statement (and in several more; I read them so you don’t have to…) is there any mention of consequences for the students’ actions. No disciplinary action has been taken against the CUNY students for what Chancellor Rodriguez called “their support of crimes against humanity.” Nor has anything been done about the 30 student groups at Harvard who solely blamed Israel for Hamas’ inhumane atrocities on October 7th. 

 

Even if we would concede that these student groups do not represent the views of the institution, should we not expect the school to actually do something instead of just trying to distance itself from these groups’ outrageous statements? Why not cut their funding, or threaten to ban these groups, if they are celebrating the murder, torture, violation and kidnapping of some 1,400 people? 

 

Imagine a baseball team just lost their first game of the season, and in the post-game interview, the losing pitcher says that he loves losing more than anything else, and that he hopes his team loses every single game going forward. The public is dumbfounded by the pitcher’s shocking remarks, and everyone eagerly awaits a response by the team’s leadership and front office. Several days later, the general manager, the manager, the team’s president, and the owner convene a press conference. The manager stands at the podium and announces, “We condemn the pitcher’s statement about wanting to lose every game going forward. This does not reflect the views of the leadership.” 

 

How would the public react? They would of course excoriate the organization for failing to hold the pitcher accountable, for continuing to pay his salary and to allow him to pitch more games. Does it make any sense for the leadership to simply distance themselves from the pitcher’s statement, and say that this doesn’t reflect their attitude, so everything is fine?  

 

This is precisely what the universities’ leaders are doing. The student clubs that run under their auspices are making appalling remarks that go against the institutions’ official position, and they are facing no consequences. The universities are simply letting them continue their activities, and letting them continue to embarrass the institutions.  

 

Importantly, this is something from which we can learn, as well. Sometimes, unfortunately, punishments must be given. Punishing is unpleasant, but we need to realize that it is occasionally necessary in order to teach a lesson and inspire better behavior. Misconduct must have repercussions, or else it will continue. 

 

In conclusion, I would advise youngsters planning to go to college to stay close to home if you can. Times are getting tough on campuses. The community is more important now than ever not only for our spiritual safety, but even for our physical wellbeing. 

 

In the meantime, we need to call out the failures of American colleges, and urge them to step up to the challenge and do what needs to be done to make their campuses welcoming for Jewish, pro-Israel students. 

One on One with Gladys Mordekai

Ellen Geller Kamaras 

 

 

“My work in pediatric hematology/oncology gives me a real sense of purpose.  I feel like what I do really matters. I sleep at night knowing I make a difference.” ~~ Gladys Mordekai~~ 

 

 

Please meet Gladys Mordekai, a smart, talented, determined, and energetic pediatric registered nurse.    

 

On Instagram she uses the moniker “sy in li,” a playful take on the fact that she’s a Syrian living on Long Island. 

 

Let’s follow Gladys Mordekai on her trajectory to becoming a successful and passionate nurse, mother, CPR instructor, and food blogger. 

 

Growing Up 

 

Gladys Mordekai was born in Brooklyn to Saul and Sari Tawil.  She is the oldest of five children and has three sisters and one brother.  Gladys Mordekai attended Magen David Yeshivah for elementary school and transferred, as did her father, to Yeshivah of Flatbush High School.  

 

Gladys Mordekai excelled academically, and was an honors student in high school.  Gladys Mordekai describes herself as independent, stubborn, and strong-willed.  “I always had a group of friends but liked to do my own thing as well.”  

 

After graduation, Gladys Mordekai spent her gap year in Israel at Machon Gold and entered Stern College when she came back to New York.   

 

It was in high school that Gladys Mordekai fell in love with the sciences and took Advanced Placement Biology and Physics.  Her science teachers, including Lonny Benamy, a”h, inspired her.  She continued studying science at college and thought she would go pre-med.  That changed when she worked as an intern at the Montefiore Hospital Pediatric Emergency Room.  “The experience I received there, shadowing different health professionals, was invaluable. I realized that Debbie, a nurse and not a doctor, was running the entire show in the ER.  She was so capable. Debbie opened my eyes about what nurses do. I decided to pursue nursing instead of medicine.”   

 

Marriage, Family, and Career 

 

Gladys Mordekai met her naseeb, Ben Goldstein, of Ashkenaz descent, in high school.  He was a classmate at Flatbush Yeshivah and was studying in yeshivah in Israel when Gladys Mordekai was at Machon Gold. They got married during Gladys Mordekai’s junior year at Stern.   

 

After graduating Stern, Gladys Mordekai enrolled in an accelerated 15-month nursing program at NYU.  Obtaining her RN was especially intense, as Gladys Mordekai was expecting her first child, who she gave birth to right before Pesach.  Gladys Mordekai took two weeks off and finished nursing school eight months later thanks to lots of help and support from her mom, her husband, and her mother-in-law.   

 

Upon receiving her nursing license, Gladys Mordekai got her first job at Maimonides Medical Center as a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit  nurse.  Gladys Mordekai had greatly enjoyed her NICU rotation during nursing school, which influenced her decision to pursue her first job in the NICU. 

 

“I was a brand-new nurse. It was scary, intimidating, and very difficult, but I loved the NICU.  I had 12-hours shifts including Sundays.  Working on Sundays meant giving up the zoo with Ben and our daughter or seeing her perform at ballet recitals.”  

 

The Family Grows  

 

Gladys Mordekai gave birth to her second child, a boy, while she was an NICU nurse.  After three years in the NICU, she decided to transfer to the outpatient Pediatric Hematology and Oncology Unit at Maimonides.  Gladys Mordekai chose pediatric oncology because she had volunteered at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center during college and had found her connection with the children to be very rewarding. 

 

She remained in that unit for two-and-a-half years. Gladys Mordekai felt devastated when one of her cancer patients died. Gladys Mordekai needed a break from oncology.  She left Maimonides and became the school nurse at Flatbush Yeshiva High School for one year.  After her third child, a second son, was born, Gladys Mordekai took maternity leave for six months.  

 

Then, Gladys Mordekai felt ready to go back to Pediatric Oncology.  She secured a position at Cornell in the outpatient Pediatric Oncology Unit and stayed there for two years.   

 

Gladys Mordekai’s next career move was to Cohen Children’s Medical Center in the outpatient hematology/oncology unit.   She has been at Cohen for seven years and finds her career very fulfilling. Gladys Mordekai works two ten-hour shifts per week. 

 

“My work in pediatric hematology/oncology gives me a real sense of purpose.  I feel like what I do really matters. I sleep at night knowing I make a difference.” 

 

 

In addition to her position at Cohen, Gladys Mordekai teaches CPR classes. “I am very passionate about CPR instruction. I teach people how to save lives.  As a NICU nurse, I could not discharge a baby unless the parents were trained to do CPR.  Learning CPR, a life-saving skill, is one of the best things I’ve done.  Everyone should know CPR.”  Gladys Mordekai’s group CPR classes are given in shuls, in schools, and for organizations, and she also teaches CPR privately, one on one, or to families.  

 

Achieving Balance 

 

How does Gladys Mordekai do it all? 

 

“You make it work.  Ben is a very hands-on dad and I have a lot of support from family. Being efficient with my time is a key factor for my success with balance.  We strive to foster independence and purposefulness in our children, and they are very proud of my work as a nurse.” 

 

On the days that Gladys Mordekai is home early enough, she likes to have supper ready for her children, something her mother did when Gladys Mordekai was a child.  Both her mother and her mother-in-law are wonderful role models for Gladys Mordekai. 

 

“Ben asked me early on if I want our daughters to be professionals/working mothers who follow their passions. When I responded affirmatively, he said, ‘Then you have to be a role model for them.’ My mother-in-law Rena is an attorney and was a working mother. She has been one of my mentors.”   

 

Gladys Mordekai’s Essence 

 

What defines Gladys Mordekai? She answers that she is loyal, friendly, ambitious, self-motivated, and efficient.  She prides herself on not wasting her patients’ time or her own.  Gladys Mordekai considers the best compliment from her patients is that she is efficient, fast, but thorough.  “I also am driven and have a lot of will power.” 

 

Community and Passions 

 

Gladys Mordekai and Ben live in Woodmere, NY, and have four children, two daughters, ages 16 and 15 months, and two sons, ages 14 and 9.  The older children are in yeshivot in the Five Towns.  The family prays at the Irving Place Minyan and are active in the community.   Ben practices law in Brooklyn.  

 

Gladys Mordekai is still involved with the Syrian community and takes her family to Brooklyn for the holidays. Now that Gladys Mordekai is a parent herself and lives in Long Island, she especially appreciates her childhood community.  The way she shares and holds on to her Syrian traditions, is with “food in house.”  Gladys Mordekai cooks all the Syrian specialties for her family and friends. 

 

Her passions include her family, pediatric oncology, CPR instruction, weightlifting, and food.   

 

“Fitness, especially weightlifting, lights me up and helps me unwind.  I used to be a barbell coach in a gym.  Unfortunately, the gym closed during the pandemic, but I bought some of the equipment for my home gym.” 

 

Side Hustle  

 

Gladys Mordekai’s nursing job at Cohen was not affected by the pandemic.  Her kids, however, were home, and she cooked a lot and did lots of puzzles with her children when she wasn’t at the hospital.  She started another side hustle, a new business from home.  Gladys Mordekai became a recipe developer and sold mazza, homemade breads, and desserts. She is currently more selective and sells on a smaller scale. 

 

Her grandmother, Rae Dayan, is a highly-regarded chef and baker and is the author of For the Love of Cooking.  Gladys Mordekai experiments with updating and tweaking some of Rae’s recipes and creates recipes for her Instagram page. 

 

“The kitchen has always been my safe space. After a long day at work, I like to unwind by baking. I bake for hagim, my kids’ school events, and donate baked goods for causes, like a shuk for a recent Israel fundraiser.”  

 

You can connect with Gladys Mordekai at mozellegoldstein@gmail.com.  Or follow her on her two Instagram pages, @Mozellegoldstein and @sy_in_li.
 

 

                

 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Vice-President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at  ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

Who Owes Whom?

Sometimes people feel that Hashem “owes” them. They say, “Look, Hashem, I came to shul today,” I learned Torah,” “I do hesed,” or “I pray,” figuring that because they do these mitzvot Hashem is somehow indebted to them. But if we think about it truthfully, we will realize how gravely mistaken this attitude is.

Rabbi Jonathan Rietti expressed this idea with a beautiful parable. A 12-year-old boy was rushing to school, and as he picked up his breakfast, just before running out the door to catch his bus, he left a note on the table for his mother. It listed the following:

Mowing the lawn:                                     $15.00

Making my bed:                                         $10.00

Playing with my little brother                $10.00

Taking out the garbage                            $11.50

Good report card:                                     $25.00

Raking the leaves:                                     $18.00

 

After reading the note, the mother was aghast. “He’s charging me for taking out the garbage, and for playing with his little brother?! What an ingrate! After reflecting upon the situation for a few moments, she came up with an idea. She turned over the paper and wrote the following note for her son:

 

Carrying you inside me for nine months:                       No charge

Staying up with you for hours on many nights:            No charge

Caring for you when you were ill:                                     No charge

The time and tears you caused through the years:     No charge

Praying for you:                                                                      No charge

The nights filled with dread and the worries ahead: No charge

All the love I’ve shown you:                                                No charge

 

The boy came home from school and read his mother’s note. With tears running down his face, he turned the page over and wrote underneath his original note: Paid in full.”

 

People turn to Hashem and say, “I came to shul,” or “I helped a poor family in Israel,” expecting that He is now obliged to repay them for these deeds. But Hashem can answer them back, “For giving you a functioning brain – no charge;” “For giving you healthy organs – no charge;” For giving you two eyes – no charge.”

We, like the 12-year-old boy, often fail to realize how much kindness is provided for us. Each eye, for example, has 100 million receptors, each of which takes an image, transforms it into an electrical impulse and sends it to the brain where it is deciphered. The message is sent to the brain via 50,000 connectors, and the “pipe” is never clogged. And all this happens at lightning speed. I recently saw that the best digital cameras in the world range from 60 to 80 megapixels and sell for about $40-$50,000. The human eye has about 600 megapixels – and Hashem gave us each two of them – free of charge.

In the beracha of Asher Yatzar, which we recite after using the restroom, we describe how Hashem heals us by removing waste from our bodies in wonderous fashion. Our bodies automatically separate what they need from what they don’t need and expel the waste. Who is paying for this service?

Instead of having the attitude of, “What have You done for me lately?” we should appreciate and be grateful for the infinite kindness that Hashem bestows upon us at every moment.

Hanukah FAQ

The misvah of menorah is an extremely beloved misvah (Rambam). All misvot have a standard way of performance and an enhanced and more meticulous way. By the strict letter of the law, one can fulfill his obligation by lighting only one candle each night. Hanukah is so beloved, that it has been unanimously accepted for all to perform the misvah in a superior manner. We begin with a single candle on the first night, then add a candle each night, until ultimately kindling eight lights on the final night. We hope the following guide will enhance your performance of this beloved misvah. 

 

Who is required to light? 

Both men and women are obligated in the misvah of lighting. Although it is a time-bound commandment, which women are generally exempt from, women are obligated in this misvah as they played a significant role, through Yehudit’s actions when she killed an important Greek general.  

Unlike other misvot, such as eating massah or shaking lulav, where each person is required to perform the misvah individually, any one member ― man or woman over bar/bat misvah ― may light the menorah on behalf of the household. 

Children under the age of bar/bat misvah may light any subsequent candles after the first candle is lit by an adult, provided that they have reached the age of chinuch (i.e., they understand how to perform the misvah). 

I have a child studying out of town. Is he required to light himself? 

Children who are supported by their parents and view their parents’ house as their home are still considered part of the household. Even if they are temporarily not living in the house, they can fulfill their obligation with their parents’ lighting.  

The question becomes more complicated if the child is in a different time zone. For example, if the child is in Israel and the parents are lighting at home in America. At the time of lighting in Israel, it is not time to light in America, and when it becomes nightfall in America it is past the time for lighting in Israel. Therefore, it is preferable for the student to light himself, and according to some opinions even with a beracha. If the child is in a later time zone, for example, their home is in New York and the child is studying in L.A., then according to all opinions, a beracha is not recited. 

What should I do if I am a guest? 

One may fulfill his obligation with his host. The guest should participate in the misvah by acquiring partial ownership of the oil and wicks. For close family members visiting and sleeping over, we can assume the host gives them partial ownership, just as he allows them to eat and drink in his house without payment. Concerning other guests, it is preferable for the host to verbalize that he is giving the guest acquisition as a partial owner in the oil, wicks, etc. 

 

Should I use candles or oil?  

The miracle occurred through the flask of oil lasting eight days. Therefore, the preferred manner of performing this misvah is with olive oil; otherwise, candles are acceptable.  

Every Friday night while reading Bameh Madlikin, we recite a list of wicks and oils unsuitable for Shabbat candles. Some are not suitable because they do not draw the oil well, thereby causing the flame to flicker, while others are not suitable because of their odor. The objective of Shabbat candles is to enjoy and benefit from their light, and we are worried one may mistakenly adjust or tilt the flickering candle for it to light better, or he might leave the room if there is an unpleasant odor. For Hanukah, however, these wicks and oils may be used. The Hanukah candles are not for our personal use. Therefore, even if they do not light well, we are not concerned that one may adjust the candles. 

Where do I light? 

Initially, the lighting would be outside, by the entrance to the courtyard or home, as a public display of the miracles Hashem has done for us. Nowadays, that we are in exile among other nations, it is recommended in most places to light inside so as not to incite our gentile neighbors. Although when lit inside, the menorah is primarily meant to be seen by those inside the home, we light the menorah by the window so that it is also visible to passersby. 

How high should I place my menorah? 

The menorah should be placed at a height where the flames of the candles are above three tefachim (approximately 9.6 inches), and preferably below 10 tefachim (approximately 32 inches). If the menorah would only be visible to passersby outside if placed on a higher window ledge, or if there are young children around, there is no problem placing the menorah higher than 10 tefachim. 

Which side of the menorah do we start lighting from? 

On the first night, we light the rightmost candle in front of the one lighting. On the second night, a second candle will be added on the immediate left of the first candle. And so on ― every added candle is placed in the next left slot. The lighting will always begin with the newest added candle (increasingly left) so that when you actually light, your direction will bring you to move your hand toward the right. The reason to perform the lighting in a rightward direction is like all Avodah service in the Bet Hamikdash where the setup of the service positions the Kohen to begin at a point where his direction during his Avodah will subsequently turn toward the right. 

 

When is the preferred time to light the menorah?  

The preferred time to light is twenty minutes after sunset (4:55pm in the NY/NJ), or at least within a half hour after this time. If one is unable to light then, he should strive to do so as soon as possible. It is important to light while there are still passersby outside, as it is still considered lighting at the proper time. In a situation where no one will be home until late at night, one may light, as long as it is still nighttime. However, one should endeavor to have at least one other family member awake, so that the berachot can be recited according to all opinions.  

May I eat before I light?  

Once it reaches within a half hour of the time to light the menorah one should not sit down for a bread meal. However, if one already started his meal before that half hour, he may continue, though he may light during his meal.  

How do I get to the Hanukah party on time?  

One does not fulfill his misvah with what was lit at a family Hanukah party unless he is sleeping there overnight (or was sleeping there already from the night before even though he will be leaving that evening). If one would like to light quickly at home and then go, then his menorah will have to stay lit for a half hour. After this time, it is permitted to extinguish the lights. Otherwise, one can light the menorah when arriving home (as long as it is before dawn!).  

When do we light on erev Shabbat 

Although one should first light the menorah and then light the Shabbat candles, if the wife mistakenly lit the Shabbat candles first, the husband may still light the menorah afterwards. If the woman is the one lighting the menorah, and she lit the Shabbat candles first, lighting the menorah at this point will depend on if her custom is to accept Shabbat with the lighting of the candles or not. 

What if my candles went out? 

It is proper to keep one’s hand lighting the flame until most of the wick is lit before proceeding to the next candle. Once the fire caught onto the wick properly, even if it went out within a half hour, one is not required to light again. However, it is preferable. The leftover oil or candle from it extinguishing prematurely can be used for the next night. Otherwise, it should not be disposed of like regular garbage since it was dedicated for a misvah. Therefore, it is burned, similar to leftover sacrifices. 

A project of “Ohr of the Shore.” For questions or comments, feel free to contact us at: faqs@ohrhalacha.org or (732) 359-3080.