Mitzvah Man Volunteer’s Inside Scoop: Doing Mitzvot Works in Two Directions

– Pnina Souid

One of the Mitzvah Man organization’s long-time volunteers began his hesed “career” slowly, and now is hooked. Here is an open letter he wrote to Michael Cohen, founder of the organization. Let’s hear about his experiences and the way he involved his family in the pursuit of hesed. You will see that he, like so many other Mitzvah Man volunteers, feel that he is not just enriching others’ lives, but the mitzvot he does enriches his life, and the life of his family, too.

Hi Michael, 

I’ve been volunteering since we met years ago. My first “assignment” was to deliver flowers to an elderly lady. I confess I felt a little awkward, but you encouraged me. You said not to worry, she would just be happy to get a visitor. You told me to introduce myself, and tell her I have brought flowers for Shabbat from the Mitzvah Man. You were right!  She invited me in, and we had a nice conversation about our families and the wonderful community. She was extremely happy just to have a visitor.  

I did this week after week, and we started to develop  a nice relationship. She asked about my wife so on the third week I brought her along. The following week I brought my six-year-old son. Our visits were clearly becoming the best part of her week. She did not get out at all, so it meant a lot to her that we would come over to spend time with her. My wife really enjoyed the visits and our son did, too. He always got a piece of candy from her and he very quickly became her favorite. As time went by, he got comfortable, and he felt  like he was visiting his own grandma. 

As the years went on, we had more and more of these great visits. Honestly,  you even forget that you’re going to do  a mitzvah! What you’re doing is really its own reward. It’s a pleasure just to see people smile and talk and tell stories about the old days. It’s so fulfilling. Just recently my wife and I were talking about all the things we’ve gotten a chance to be a part of, as we do hesed. Even if there was no reward from Hashem (which we believe there is, of course) the gratitude we have been shown when we visit others, be it in their homes, in a hospital, or in in elderly care center, makes everything else in our lives feel trivial. Doing these mitzvahs has been such a blessing, and has had a profound change in my everyday thinking. So, I want to  tell everyone they should try it! 

This year you asked if I could help make a Rosh Hashana minyan for someone with medical issues who might not have been able to make it to shul otherwise. It sounded like a very daunting task! But, I called my favorite rabbi and he said he had everything we would need, machzorim, with Hebrew and English, tallitot, and so on. We got a sefer Torah, and someone to be the hazzan. We managed to  pick everything up and set it up properly. To add to the festive atmosphere one volunteer set up amazing flower arrangements. Surprisingly, all the work and set up was not hard at all! It was a pleasure to have my son help, too. And both of us received aliyot during the Torah service. I thought to myself,  I would have paid to be a part of this! It was truly awesome. We were enwrapped with the beautiful sounds of singing and prayer, where everyone was able to focus, as there was no side talk. I was truly able to focus on what I wanted to pray for, and I was so thankful that I had  my son by my side. I don’t think I was the only one who forgot that by participating in this holy minyan we were doing a special hesed.  I felt tremendous joy and gratitude as I stood with  my arm around my son, as he was standing at the Torah. My wife said she could see my eyes watering. I told her I clearly had allergies. Ha!  

And I’ll tell you the best part of doing hesed as a Mitzvah Man volunteer. It’s the gratitude shown not only by the people you visit, but by their families, as well. It is so uplifting you feel like you are floating. The family members can go crazy thanking you. I always say it’s really nothing because that’s how I feel! The truth is I get so much out of it. My wife and son enjoy it so much, too. An extra benefit for us is how nice it is to disconnect from our own things and give back to the community. 

The mitzvot I listed above that my family and I took part in are tremendous. The multitude of mitzvot you organize make you a legend. What you have created is so powerful! The woman I mentioned earlier who we used to visit passed away, sadly. So, my son asked me this morning, “Dad when are we going to go visit another person for Shabbat?” I told him soon. Do you realize what this means? At 13 years of age, my son has now ingrained in him that on Fridays it’s a special day where you do a mitzvah that you maybe wouldn’t regularly do. Your organization (in addition to all the other great things you do) has helped to shape the middot of my child! That is really something beautiful! Our family’s circle is small. So we especially appreciate those who have come into our lives as a result of our volunteering with your organization. 

None of us volunteers help out because we are motivated to get something in return. But, believe me, the rewards we feel from the gratitude and the smiles of those we help, is beyond measure. I would like to send the message to all members of the community that if you join us in doing hesed through the Mitzvah Man organization, or even by  writing a check, YOU A GUARANTYING THE FUTURE OF OUR COMMUNITY.  

Thank you Michael, thank you to all the volunteers, and most of all thank you to Hashem, who every day gives us the choice of how to spend our time and money. May we all spend these wisely! 

Your Friend, 

Steve M. 

LEON SAKKAL

With the festive holiday of Purim right around the corner, we are confronted with a topic that never ceases to confuse us. It is the seven-word declaration issued by the holy rabbi, Rava, in the Gemara[1]: “Hayav inish libesumei bepuraya ad delo yada – “One is obligated to drink on the Festival of Purim until he does not know [the difference between ‘cursed be Haman’ and ‘blessed be Mordechai’].” This declaration has us scratching our heads every year, as we are never quite able to understand this extraordinary obligation. Understanding the topic, from the perspective of either halachah (Jewish law) or hashkafah (Jewish thought) is no easy task.

A Touchy Subject

If you can’t seem to grasp the notion underlying this seemingly peculiar halachah, don’t worry – you are not alone. Anyone familiar with the matter from a halachic standpoint know even sages who lived in the era of the Rishonim[2] were bewildered by this statement. It is a matter that great rabbis have grappled with for many hundreds of years.

While the Rif[3], the Rosh[4],and the Tur[5] seem to require one to drink to the point of intoxication, the Orhot Haim[6] maintains that it is forbidden to get drunk. In his view, as well as that of the Yad Efrayim, the mitzvah requires one to drink just slightly more than he is accustomed to. The Bach disputes this ruling, stating that one should drink considerably more than he is accustomed to. Other authorities, such as the Rambam[7] and Mahariv[8], instruct us to drink “ad sheyishtaker – until one reaches intoxication,” and then sleep. One will then not know the difference between “cursed is Haman” and “blessed is Mordechai,” as Rava requires. This view was later accepted by the Rema[9] and, ultimately, the Mishnah Berurah.

In case you’re not already confused, take a look at the comments of the Gra (Vilna Gaon), who presents a much different view. Indeed, the broad range of opinions is enough to keep a Torah scholar busy for days on end!

Should We Encourage Excessive Drinking?

Since the miracle of Purim took place through the parties arranged by Queen Esther, which consisted of eating and drinking, our sages instituted that we should drink “yoter mehergelo” – more wine than we are normally accustomed to drinking. Their intention, among others, is to establish a zecher (reminder) of the profound miracle Hashem performed for his people.[10]

However, while the incorporation of wine for this reason is understandable, the question remains, is it not uncharacteristic of Hazal to require us to drink “ad sheyistaker” – to the point of inebriation? Jews are, and always have been, a people of awareness and intellect. The mere concept of excessive drinking is frowned upon by our communities across the globe, and this has always been so. Where does wine fit into the moral, disciplined lifestyle that we are directed to lead?

Wine in Judaism

Both the Talmud and Scripture speak of the benefits of wine consumption. Wine is described as “bringing joy to Gd and man,”[11] and we find in the Talmud dictums like “Ein simhah ela bebasar veyayin – There is no joy without meat and wine.”[12] These passages certainly seem to approve of the consumption of wine. Moreover, numerous mitzvot are accompanied by a cup of wine. We use wine for kiddush and havdallah on Shabbat and holidays, and we similarly recite berachot over cups of wine beneath the wedding canopy, at a berit mila, and at a pidyon haben. And let’s not forget the four cups of wine we drink at the Passover seder.

On the other hand, we find several indications that intoxication is clearly discouraged by Torah tradition. Noah, whose righteousness caused Hashem to spare the human race, was shamed by the consumption of wine. Aharon’s two holy sons, Nadav and Avihu, entered the Mishkan while intoxicated and were consumed by a heavenly fire. Similarly, the Torah extols the virtue, courage, and holiness of a nazir who vows to abstain from wine.

What, then, is the Torah’s outlook on wine? Is it a holy beverage with immense powers, reserved for holy and special occasions? Or is it a destructive agent with the power to bring down mighty people – a substance to be avoided at all costs?

The answer, interestingly enough, is that it is both!

Revealing the Depths of the Human Soul

The gemara[13] teaches, “Nichnas yayin yatza sod – When wine enters, secrets come out.” When one becomes inebriated, his spiritual depth is revealed.

Suppose that someone with an awful character; who has no intention of climbing the ladder of spirituality, chooses to join in the Purim fun. He drinks cup after cup, not wasting a moment’s time to seize this once-a-year opportunity. Don’t be surprised to find this individual’s vile demeanor amplified tenfold; for when wine comes in, the true essence of its consumer comes out. Wine relaxes our inhibitions and weakens the mind’s natural defenses, allowing the nefesh, the seat of all our emotions, personality, and identity, to shine through.

It is therefore no secret why so many hachamim and tzadikim are able to attain lofty spiritual heights during the Purim feast. While intoxication may magnify a nasty character in some, it can bring out peace, contentment, brotherhood, and love of Gd in those who truly seek to draw spiritual elevation from the day.

Hence, when utilized properly, wine offers great benefits. However, if wine is misused or abused, it presents grave dangers. How we make use of itis entirely up to us.

Defining the Mitzvah

Turning our attention to the obligation to drink on Purim, let us address four simple questions:

• Who?
• What?
• When?
• Why?

Who?

Gd’s Hand rescued Jewish men and women from Haman’s wicked decree, and thus both men and women are obligated to partake in the mitzvah of seudat Purim (the Purim feast). However, women should drink just a little wine, and certainly not become intoxicated.[14]

If one’s parents warn him not to drink excessively on Purim, in line with the halachic prohibition against excessive drinking, he should certainly obey their wishes and drink only a little more than usual.[15]

What?

Most early authorities[16] specify that the mitzvah requires drinking wine, and not other intoxicating drinks.  There is, however, a minority view that seems to suggest that one does not have to drink wine specifically.

Grape juice does not suffice for fulfilling this mitzvah.

When?

Many Ashkenazim have the custom to eat the Purim meal in the afternoon, after praying Minhah, whereas many Sephardic communities eat the meal in the morning. Someone who is being hosted for the Purim meal should follow the host’s custom, and  enjoy a breakfast or lunch of meat and wine. One does not fulfill the mitzvah by drinking wine on Purim night.

Why?

As mentioned above, the seudah we eat on Purim serves to commemorate the miracle Gd performed for the Jewish People.

Furthermore, from a kabbalistic standpoint, by drinking, we weaken the mind’s normal resistances, thus making us freer to feel the Oneness of Gd and of the universe. It is often hard to see the good within the many hardships we face in life, but when we “let our guard down,” and allow our spirituality shine through, we can more clearly recognize that although times may be tough, it is indeed all for the best. We recall that there is a beneficent Gd behind everything, manipulating events solely for our good. In our period of hester panim, a time in history when Gd’s face is more “hidden” than ever, the Purim miracle reminds us of how He has continually helped us throughout every stage of our lives.

The Holiest Day in the Jewish Calendar

It is important to remember the teaching of our rabbis: “Ivdu et Hashem besimhah vegilu bir’adah – Serve Gd with joy, and celebrate with trembling.”[17] The tremendous amount of joy we feel on Purim must be conducted with a degree of awe and reverence toward Hashem. As our sages comment regarding this verse, “Where there is joy – there must be trembling.”

The Arizal states that Purim is the holiest day of the year; a day that is even holier than Yom Kippur. It is therefore important to note that one who feels his alcohol intake may bring him to act in a repugnant or foolish manner – especially if his drinking might lead him to cause harm to others – should certainly avoid wine on the holiday, not to mention throughout the rest of the year.

Purim Sameah!

There is an ancient and widespread custom that when Haman’s name is mentioned during the Megillah reading on Purim, the congregation (especially the children) spin groggers, bang, shout, stamp their feet, and generally make a ruckus. 

This custom is recorded already by Rabbi David Avudraham (14th century, Spain), who notes an earlier custom for children to draw a picture or write the name of Haman on wood or stones and then bang them together to “erase” Haman’s representation. This is in line with the verse, “You shall blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven” (Devarim 25:19), as Haman was a descendant of Amalek. This custom, Rav Avudraham writes, later evolved into the practice of banging and making noise when the name of Haman is read. Today, this is often accomplished by spinning groggers. 

Some have discouraged this custom, but both Rav Yosef Caro (the Mechaber) and Rav Moshe Isserles (the Rama) reference it, adding, “One should not dismiss any custom or belittle it,” as there is deep meaning behind it. 

Although the basic reason for making noise stems from the requirement to “blot out” Haman’s name, there are additional meanings behind the custom, as well: 

Reluctance to Mentioning Haman  

The Chasam Sofer (Rav Moshe Sofer, 1762–1839, Central Europe) explains that the Torah commands us to obliterate the name of the nation of Amalek, to ensure it is never remembered  – but there is no greater “remembrance” of Amalek than with the reading about Haman in the Megillah. We therefore raise a ruckus after hearing Haman’s name, to show that we do not really want to hear his name, and are doing so only because of the mitzvah to listen to the entire Megillah, which includes Haman’s name. (It should be emphasized that in order to fulfill the obligation, one must hear every word – so do not start your noisemaking until the reader finishes saying the name Haman, and stop as soon as the reader or the rabbi signals to stop!)  

“Flogging” Haman 

The Levush (Rabbi Mordechai Yaffeh, 1530–1612) cites the verse in the Torah (Devarim 25:2), which speaks of flogging sinners (“vehaya im bin hakos harasha”), and he notes that the final letters spell out the name “Haman.” Accordingly, we bang when we hear the name Haman, following the Torah’s allusion to “flogging” this evil villain. 

Obliterating Haman 

After the Jews fought Amalek in the desert, Gd said to Moses, “Inscribe this [as] a memorial in the book, and recite it in Yehoshua’s ears, that I will utterly blot out the remembrance of Amalek from beneath the heavens” (Shemos 17:14). The Midrash explains the phrase “I will utterly blot out” to mean that Gd will eradicate the remnants of Amalek even “from wood and stone.” Thus, the custom evolved to write (and subsequently erase) the name of Haman on wood or stone. 

Furthermore, the words “I will utterly blot out” (macho emcheh) have the same numerical value as the phrase “zeh Haman” – “this is Haman” (107), and Rabbi Pinchas of Koreitz (1726-1791) explains that the word macho is sometimes translated as “strike.” We therefore bang upon mentioning Haman’s name in commemoration of Gd’s pronouncement, “macho emcheh,” to “strike” Haman. 

Haman’s Punishment 

If Haman’s plans were realized, Gd forbid, then we would not exist. Haman thus posed a threat to every generation of Jews, and must be combatted anew in every age. Rabbi Chaim Palagi (1788–1868, Turkey) explains that when we bang during the reading of Haman’s name, Haman is beaten once again in the underworld, fulfilling our responsibility to fight against him.  

When to Bang 

Many have the custom to make noise each time Haman’s name is mentioned, while others bang only when there is some honorific attached to his name, or when it is mentioned in the context of his downfall. 

Defeating Amalek 

The mystics explain that the spiritual war with Amalek continues throughout the generations, especially in the waning days of the present exile. When we fulfill the mitzvah of obliterating the spiritual Amalek, the world comes that much closer to the time when Gdliness will be manifest to all with the coming of Mashiach. May it be speedily in our days, amen!

Rabbi Yehuda Shurpin serves as content editor at Chabad.org, and writes the popular weekly Ask Rabbi Y column.