44.2 F
New York
Friday, April 26, 2024
spot_img
Home Blog Page 90

Spring Forth with Change

Ellen Kamaras

“For, behold, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing has come…”

Shir Hashirim 2:11-12.

Are you looking forward to spring? I can almost smell the grass being mowed.

Spring is a time for change, rebirth, and renewal.

No more snow boots, frigid temperatures, and layering clothes.

Spring means getting outdoors and seeing things bloom, including our spirits and happiness levels. Spring liberates us physically from winter’s dark days and brings emotional emancipation and joy when we see plants and flowers beginning to grow.

To combat pandemic fatigue, spring affords opportunities to meet with family and friends outdoors, where the airflow is better and there is ample space to practice social distancing.

Wellness professionals view spring as an opportune time to check in with yourself and clarify your life purpose, values, and goals.

Which aspects of your life need tweaking? Or might benefit from a jumpstart from spring’s energizing bursts of growth?

Is it your diet or fitness habits? Your career? Or your approach to tackling your daily workload or tasks?

Even in non-pandemic times, we tend to hibernate in the cold days of winter.

Tap into the Joy of Spring

Let’s shake off those winter cobwebs. Let’s bring more joy to our daily routines, health, career, and personal and work relationships.

As Jews, spring brings Pesach, a holiday that allows us to re-visit and honor our physical and spiritual freedom.

We were slaves in Mitzrayim. Mitzrayim is derived from m’tzarim, meaning “narrow straits.” Hashem removed us from Mitrzrayim, a place of constricted opportunities. We each have various physical, financial, emotional, or health constraints.

Celebrating Pesach and reading the Haggadah can inspire us to pause and carve out time to examine our lives and our challenges and to determine what changes are needed.

I recently heard an interesting analogy about personal transformation and weeding out one’s negative habits. A weed is a wild plant that grows where it is not wanted. Assume our goal is to plant and grow tomatoes. We strive to eliminate the weeds’ roots on our lawn so that they will not dislodge our tomato plants. This process can be time-consuming and costly. Similarly, we all have bad habits and unhealthy attitudes that are our personal weeds. If we want to uproot our personal weeds, replace negative habits with positive ones, and develop healthy relationships, we need to invest time and effort.

We all know how to “force quit” and “restart” our computers when they freeze or are not functioning well. Restarting our lives does not come as easily.

It is challenging to break out of old patterns even if they are no longer serving us or we are not functioning optimally.

Ideas to Help You Reboot

Below are ideas to keep in your mental toolbox that may also help you jumpstart your spring reboot.

Personal or professional transformation is often about creating new habits to replace existing negative ones and stepping out of your comfort zone.

You do not have to be in your twenties or thirties to hit the reset button. Twice I reinvented myself professionally, once at 50 and again at 58. We learn more from our past challenges than from our successes. Stretch yourself and try something new. Even if it is a bit scary, it can be empowering.

Start small. You do not need to jump out of a plane to get outside of your comfort levels.

Remember the SMART acronym when setting goals. Make sure they are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-Sensitive.

One word of caution: Beware of adopting a change or goal because you “should” – try replacing “I should” with “I could” and DREAM BIG!

Health

Did you put on a few pounds (the pandemic fifteen) or do you feel stiff from working from home and sitting at your desk for hours on end?

One winning tool to shed some pounds and get moving is to use your commute time for exercise. Why not try a Zumba or Pilates class during the 30 minutes or the hour that you would have taken to travel to your job in the morning? Studies show that exercising in the morning is best. You start your day with endorphins in your bloodstream, and you do not have to work out later, a huge feat. Putting exercise off provides openings for other priorities to replace your workout. Research shows that one’s will power is stronger earlier in the day and you are more prone to make healthier meal selections if you exercise in the morning and build on the healthy choice you made when you began your day.

From a science perspective, when you exercise in the morning you may be less attracted to pictures of tempting food, you are more likely to amp up your physical activity during the remainder of the day, and you will have an increased metabolism and will burn more calories as you consume them. Exercising in the evening may hinder your ability to sleep.

When we work from home, food is accessible 24/7. Therefore, it is even more essential to plan healthy snacks and meals and to schedule in time to take a break and move or get some fresh air.

Choose a goal that is achievable and fits with your work and other responsibilities. If you like to walk, plan for the duration and determine your route. Try to work in a reward (like a low-fat cappuccino) at the end of the walk.

Jobs and Career

49,000 jobs were added to the job market in January and the unemployment rate decreased from 6.7% To 6.3%.

Research which companies and sectors are still hiring and be diligent about submitting job applications.

Hiring executives advise that it is vital not to overlook the #1 factor to help getting a job during the pandemic, networking. Dedicate time on a daily basis to networking. People are traveling less and staying put, which makes connecting by phone or email easier. A 2016 U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and Yale University report concluded that 70 percent of all jobs are found through networking. Do your research on the best ways to network. Are you on LinkedIn? LinkedIn is the best way to make connections in your industry.

Consider taking online classes to keep building critical skills for your future.

Relationships

Could you use some new friends? We all need friends to lean on when bad and sad things happen, friends that we feel safe and secure with. Seek out like-minded people with shared interests and values, ones that can help you grow, meet your goals, and improve your life. Do your friends listen? Are they empathetic?

To find new friends, you have to actively search for individuals who will support you and share in your defeats and successes. Let go of toxic relationships that drain you emotionally, where you are being controlled, or where your boundaries are not respected.

Making new friends during the pandemic has been challenging but is not impossible.

Have you tried reaching out to people you have lost touch with or joined a virtual book club or a Zoom shiur? There are many free or inexpensive Zoom webinars that encourage interactions with like-minded people. These include alumni associations, synagogues, Jewish Community Centers, and more.

Ask for What You Need

In any relationship, whether a marriage or a friendship, it is important to be clear about one’s needs. It is reasonable to have expectations of our, friends, spouse, and other family members. What is unreasonable is to expect them to read our minds or to expect them to always be there for us when we need them.

The pandemic and the New Normal have heightened our feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and lack of control. A helpful tool to remember is that the only thing we can control is how we respond to what goes wrong, namely, our actions/reactions, attitudes, and decisions. We cannot control what others do or decide. I heard a beautiful shiur that recommended controlling what you can, your attitude and personal traits. Work on enhancing your middot and values. Thank Hashem for what you have now and more berachot will follow.

Family and Parenting

Moms and dads, please continue to stay positive and practice self-care as you balance work from home with childcare and parenting responsibilities.

With spring’s arrival, spend more time with your family outdoors and unplug. Did you know that spending time in the green outdoors increases your creativity and brain function? Get yourself and your children away from the phones and computer screens. On sunny days our brain produces more serotonin, a mood-lifting chemical. Sunlight is also a natural source of vitamin D, which helps you fight various diseases, including COVID-19.

I would like to conclude with some advice from a dear friend, Chaya Benchemhoun. It’s ADAR! Choose to be happy. It’s our tradition in Adar to focus on thoughts and actions that bring us joy!

 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com)

When is the Best Time to Buy or Sell?

I get this question in various forms.

“Should I wait to buy in the spring?”

“I heard the winter is dead.”

“I heard in the summer no one is around.”

“I heard August is the quietest month.”

“I heard before the holidays is quiet.”

Let’s bust some myths over here.

In Brooklyn, where I work, the market is not cyclical. In my professional opinion, I do not see more homes on the market at certain times of the year.

General Market Patterns?

These are the patterns I do see: if the sellers are moving to Lakewood with school-aged kids, they generally put their homes on the market somewhere between November to January. There are certainly late-bloomers who put their homes up Purim-Pesach time, which is a busy and hectic time in general. Then they are pressured to close before Shavuot. It is very tight then and it’s difficult to get top dollar. There’s a lot of needless pressure.

But in general, it’s always a good time to sell.

Those of you who want to sell or buy by June should get your act together now. It is the beginning of spring and it takes time to find or sell your home. So, start the process now, before it’s too late.

I do see buyers come out after winter break or any major holiday. I think this is because those are times when you have just spent time with family. And you’ve gone to your aunt for lunch and a cousin for another seuda and you have gone to a Hanukah party at a sister’s. During winter break, everyone is talking about who bought a home, who closed, who’s doing construction. People start getting in the mood and thinking, “Hmm… maybe I can do it too.”

Also, that’s a time when people bring up the topic to their parents or in-laws and ask if they would be able to help out a bit.

But there are always buyers looking. Don’t judge so much on these patterns.

Putting a home on the market within a week of a holiday is kind of tough. I try not to launch any new listings within 10 days of a holiday because people are tied up and busy with the holiday prep. Not many people have the time to browse through new listings, and if they do see a listing that look like it might be right for them, they do not necessarily have the headspace to follow up on it.

What About Covid?

Another question that comes up a lot is, is it a good time to buy because of Covid?

If you asked me last March I would have answered, “No one knows what tomorrow will bring.” And that is still my answer. We’re dealing with an unknown entity and the effect on the market is still unclear.

But as of now, interest rates have been extremely low, which has been driving new people to buy. Renters who have been paying enormous amounts to their landlords start thinking that perhaps instead of paying their landlord’s mortgage they should pay their own.

As of the writing of this article the average interest rates are 2.625 percent according to Freddie Mac. Not long ago, in March of 2018, interest rates were 4.44 percent.

I do see a lot of vacant rentals on the market. Another reason why they are vacant is because landlords are wary of taking on new tenants now. Some people cannot pay their rent and many courts are still closed, so it is very difficult to evict a tenant now. Therefore, many landlords prefer to leave their properties vacant.

In addition, many young couples have been moving to Deal, even just to try it out for a year. And there goes a whole chunk of potential renters in Brooklyn.

And there you have it! That’s the market in 700 words. But keep in mind, the market in Brooklyn is not cyclical, the trends I see may not always be there, and things are constantly changing. Definitely don’t take myths at face value and speak to a broker who knows the neighborhood.

Good luck!

A Time for Spiritual Healing

The famous Kabbalist Rav Shimshon of Ostropoli (d. 1648) wrote a letter which he encouraged his students and followers to read once a year, preferably on Erev Pesach. He assured that reading this letter and imbibing its lessons will yield great benefits, and many observe this practice even today.

In one passage in this letter, Rav Shimshon gives us insight into the ten plagues which Gd brought upon the Egyptians, as we mention and discuss at the seder. He writes that these plagues served a dual purpose: bringing devastation to the Egyptians, and bringing “healing” to Beneh Yisrael. Of course, we don’t normally associate plagues with “healing.” But Gd saw to it that the same supernatural phenomena which brought illness, poverty, and death to Egypt had a “therapeutic” effect upon Beneh Yisrael.

Rebuilding Faith

This “healing” was not a cure of a physical ailment, but rather a cure of the spirit.

The Ramban (Rav Moshe Nachmanides, Spain, 1194-1270) writes that our nation’s patriarchs were the “chariot,” as it were, of the Shechinah, the Divine Presence. They lived with such pristine faith, and with such devotion to Gd, that their homes were sanctuaries, where the Divine Presence resided. In fact, the Ramban writes, the Mishkan – the Temple which Beneh Yisrael built and carried with them in the desert – served as a replica of our patriarchs’ homes. The ideal abode of the Shechinah was the homes of Avraham, Yitzhak, and Yaakov.

Toward the end of Yaakov’s life, he and his family were forced to move to Egypt. At that time, Egypt represented the polar opposite of the Shechinah. It was overrun by paganism and a culture of decadence, that directly contradicted everything the patriarchs embodied. Over the course of the 210 years our ancestors spent in Egypt, the emunah (faith) they had inherited from Avraham, Yitzhak, and Yaakov had waned. The influence of Egyptian beliefs and lifestyles proved too strong for them to withstand, and they began losing their faith in Gd.

Beneh Yisrael desperately needed “healing” – the reinforcement of their faith.

This was the second function of the plagues. Besides punishing the Egyptians for their cruelty towards Beneh Yisrael, the plagues also rebuilt Beneh Yisrael’s faith, showing them Gd’s force. Only the One who created the world and the laws of nature could then suspend those laws and overturn nature, as was done during the ten plagues. Moreover, the plagues affected only the Egyptians, and spared Beneh Yisrael. This clearly demonstrated Gd’s direct involvement in world affairs, how He controls the forces of nature to punish the wicked and rescue the oppressed. And, Gd overpowered even the strongest natural forces. He brought fire and water together during the plague of hail, and he darkened the sun and moon during the plague of darkness. Over the course of the ten plagues, Beneh Yisrael were shown the three most fundamental tenets of emunah: that Gd exists; that Gd is intimately involved in world affairs, fully controlling everything that happens; and that there is no force in the world outside His control or jurisdiction.

This was the “cure” brought by the plagues. They helped cure our spiritually ailing ancestors, reawakening their emunah and inspiring a process of return to their forefathers’ beliefs and value system.

Sweetening the Bitter Waters

Rav Haviv Haim David Siteon (1827-1906) was a renowned Kabbalist whose ancestors emigrated from Aram Soba (Aleppo, Syria) to Israel. He composed a work entitled Shemesh Umagen, which includes a commentary to Rav Shimshon of Ostropoli’s famous letter. In this commentary, he adds a fascinating insight, further developing the “healing” theme of the Exodus.

The most common Name of Gd is Havayah, which is spelled yod, heh, vav, heh. Rav Sitehon showed that this Name was embedded, as it were, within the process of the Exodus. The first letter of the Name, yod, in gematria (the system assigning numerical values to Hebrew letters) equals 10 – representing the 10th of Nissan. In the year of the Exodus, the 10th of Nissan was Shabbat, and on that day, Beneh Yisrael were required to designate a sheep for the korban pesach – paschal sacrifice – which would be offered several days later. The ancient Egyptians regarded sheep as a sacred article, as a deity, of sorts, and so they were, naturally, enraged at the sight of their slaves preparing a sheep for a sacrifice. Miraculously, however, the Egyptians felt frail and powerless, and stood by idly as they watched Beneh Yisrael prepared their sheep. This miracle corresponds to the yod, the first letter of Gd’s Name.

The second letter, heh, in gematria equals 5, and is associated with the event that occurred five days later, on the 15th of Nissan – the actual Exodus. Six days after their departure, Beneh Yisrael found themselves trapped at the shore of the Yam Suf, where they were saved by the miraculous splitting of the sea. This miracle is indicated by the vav, the third letter in Gd’s Name, which equals 6. The fourth and final letter – another heh – points to the less famous event which transpired five days after Beneh Yisrael safely crossed the sea. After journeying several days without finding any fresh water, they finally reached an area called Marah, where they indeed found water – but the water was “marim” – “bitter,” undrinkable. The people vented their frustration at Moshe, angrily demanding water. Gd showed Moshe a certain branch, which he cast into the water, miraculously transforming it into sweet, refreshing water. This event, which took place five days after the miracle of the sea – corresponding to the letter heh – completed the divine Name, signifying the completion of the process of spiritual healing, the restoration of the people’s belief in Gd. Not only were the actual bitter waters of Marah sweetened – but so were Beneh Yisrael’s souls. The “bitterness” of cynicism, agnosticism, negativity and Gdlessness was replaced by the “sweetness” of faith.

Following the miracle of Marah, Gd told Moshe to announce to the people, “If you heed the voice of Hashem your G-d…then all the illness which I brought upon Egypt I will not bring upon you, for I am Hashem, Your healer.” Significantly, Rav Sitehon explains, Gd here emphasizes His role as “healer.” The miracle of Marah completed the process of spiritual healing, of restoring the people’s faith which had been lost over the course of the years in Egypt. The plagues brought illness to the Egyptians but brought healing to Beneh Yisrael, restoring their lost faith in Gd, and this process of healing is an important aspect of our commemoration of the Exodus on Pesach.

The Modern-Day Egypt

On the one hand, our modern-day experience in exile bears no resemblance at all to our ancestors’ experience in Egypt. They were oppressed and enslaved, and their infants were killed. We, thankfully, enjoy the freedom to practice our religion, to choose a career, and to chart for ourselves our preferred way of life. It goes without saying that we must feel grateful to Gd and to this country for these wonderful freedoms which have allowed us to flourish.

On the other hand, our current exile presents us with the same challenge faced by our ancestors in Egypt. We, too, find ourselves submerged in a Gdless society, in a culture that scorns and ridicules religion, and which celebrates decadence and permissiveness. And, as in Egypt, this culture and its values have permeated the Jewish community, threatening our faith. Just as our ancestors were challenged to maintain their beliefs and values in a country overrun by paganism and immorality, so are we challenged to maintain our beliefs and values in a country overrun by atheism. And just as our ancestors fell spiritually “ill,” so are we ailing, struggling to adhere to our principles and our traditions.

The topic of illness and healing has been at the forefront of our lives over the past year. Tragically, our community, the larger Jewish community, and the entire world, have suffered enormous losses – the loss of life, loss of sustenance, loss of stability, and loss of communal structure. We hope and pray for the healing process to unfold quickly, and that we be spared any further loss or grief.

But at the same time, it behooves us to undergo the process of spiritual healing that this unparalleled experience must inspire. Far be it from me, or from anybody, to claim to know why Gd brought this pandemic upon us. It is clear, however, that we have a great deal to learn from this tragic experience. We have been shown that only Hashem is in control, that as much as science and technology have, thank Gd, advanced and made our lives safer, more healthful, more convenient and more comfortable in countless ways, ultimately, the world and our lives are governed exclusively by Gd. The COVID-19 pandemic has been very tragic and painful, and we mourn and grieve together with those who have lost loved ones, but it has also provided us with a precious lesson in emunah. Submerged in an atheistic society, our eyes have, hopefully, been opened to recognize Hashem’s unlimited power over the universe.

As we pray to Gd to heal our many wounds, to swiftly bring health to the ill patients, comfort to the mourners, and recovery to the financially devastated, let us also work to heal our spirit, to reinforce our faith, to recognize ever more keenly Hashem’s providence and control over the world, and recommit to serve Him each day to the best of our ability.

Unlearning Anxiety

Tammy Sassoon

With anxiety on the rise these days, it is no longer optional to have a healthy mindset and to possess techniques in our toolboxes that can help us to cope. It is quite fascinating to reach the rock bottom state of feeling like, “Help, before I drown!” because reaching that state causes people to muster up all the strength they have inside of them to survive, thrive, and ultimately see how strong they really were to begin with.

Identify Beliefs and Thoughts

Since we were all born with a clean slate, any beliefs we have today that are disrupting our inner vitality are simply a result of poisonous ideas we have been holding on to. The great news is that Hashem in all his Kindness mapped out for us in the Torah exactly how to live and how to think! So we never have to guess!

I recently met a mother who said she turned into one huge ball of anxiety. She always struggled with these feelings, but recently they have paralyzed her. I had her identify her root thoughts, and she expressed that the most stressful thought she had was that she had no idea what the future would bring. The truth is that nobody ever knows what will be, so what is the difference between her and another person who lives peacefully in their minds and hearts? The answer lies in what a person subconsciously believes about their ability to cope.

Let’s take a glimpse into our future. Clueless. Stumped. Everyone. Even the most seemingly successful people. However, if someone IS aware that no matter what challenges they have, they will absolutely have every tool they need to cope, they relax quite a bit.

It is important for us to recognize a principle that was been planted into the universe thousands of years ago — Hashem always gives tools before the challenges. The mother mentioned above just had to learn how to let go of her huge insecurity that perhaps she had be sent challenges without tools. And she did!

Model, Model, Model

Many people refuse to let go of their insecurities to their own detriment, and they suffer terribly as a result.

How can you use this information to raise your children with the emotional freedom we all want so badly for them?

Model, model, model!!

Live and breathe this way, and your children will too!! Here is what that would look like:

1. Mom feels uneasy about the news of a class shutting down because of Corona.

2. Mom acknowledges her own intense feelings without judging herself.

3. With awareness of her irritability, Mom becomes a bit quiet around her children (instead of loud) and may even tell her children that she is in a temporary low mood state.

4. Mom has lots of, “Oh no, how will I cope?!” feelings about the future. Mom reminds herself of the truth that Whatever the challenge, Hashem will make sure she will have the tools.

5. Mom is okay living with her uncomfortable feelings, and is comforted knowing the truth that all feelings pass. Eventually they do. (Do not pressure yourself about when they will pass because nobody knows that, and it only adds more stress.)

A child who witnesses these types of episodes will grow up knowing that uncomfortable feelings are not problematic at all, and they will be able to tap into their own inner emotional resources (which everyone has) to live a passionate and healthy life.

And yes, no matter what type of toxic beliefs you have, anyone can unlearn anxiety. No exceptions!!

Principles/Truths Which Allow a Person to Experience Emotional Freedom

1. We always have tools before the challenges even arrive.

2. Challenges are uniquely designed for us by Hashem with love in order to help us reach our potential (which is so gratifying and fulfilling when we allow that to happen).

3. All feelings are normal. (Yup, as normal as a house having a roof.) People who allow themselves to feel any feelings, even very intense and uncomfortable ones, experience much more of their inner health than those who fight those feelings. Feelings that are fought just get buried, but they will eventually come out in other ways. So just feel the feelings without judging, and they will pass, as all feelings do.

Pivoting During the Pandemic: How These Businesses Succeeded

“I want to get across the importance of caring for employees. We said, ‘let’s stick by our employees, who have been with us many years, because they’re relying on us to eat.’”

DAVE GORDON

It has been a full year since the lockdowns, social distancing, and quarantines became a part of everyday life in America, even though months earlier COVID-19 had begun its rapid spread in other countries. The destruction in the virus’ wake was not just sickness and death. Dramatic financial hardships hit at well, with millions of people losing their jobs, their businesses, and even their assets, due to the economic tailspin.

Yet, others discovered alternate paths to survive financially – and even to help others survive financially, as well.

Joseph Shamie and his company are one of many examples.

Shamie, a beloved community philanthropist, is President of Delta Enterprises, the world’s largest manufacturer of cribs and baby furniture.

Fortunately, Delta Enterprises prepared for changing conditions caused by the pandemic even before the mandated shutdown. Employees were provided laptops to ensure they could work remotely and were trained using trial runs even before the work-at-home regulations went into effect.

But Coronavirus wrought some challenges that could not be surmounted. The current pressing concern is that many shipping lines have dry-docked their vessels, Shamie explained, due to tightening COVID-19 regulations.

“If you had goods, there weren’t enough vessels [to transport them], so they had to raise their prices for when they had them available. China became the biggest exporter, even more than before,” Shamie noted. “They started charging quadruple – maybe more. With this backlog, there was a bidding war, just to get a vessel, to get your goods here.”

To make matters worse, consumer prices have not changed, which would have compensated for the losses.

Additionally, there is congestion at the U.S. port, because of sudden weather changes.

As of early February, Bloomberg reports there were three dozen docked ships, not able go back to China to reload. In addition, UPS and FedEx are backlogged. “This is because more people are buying online than ever before,” Shamie said. “So, logistics, due to the pandemic, has become the biggest issue out there.”

Yet despite it all, Shamie took great care to weather the storm with a steady hand, making sure his team of 120 people were taken care of.

When the pandemic issues came to the fore, he and his brother Sam decided not to lay off anyone, and they did not reduce salaries. “I want to get across the importance of caring for employees. We said, ‘let’s stick by our employees, who have been with us many years, because they’re relying on us to eat.’” Shamie noted that this was all done at a cost to the company.

“Don’t abandon them when there is an issue, and when they need us most,” Shamie said. “Do this because it is the right thing to do. And guess what. You will build a more loyal team.”

Citrus-A-Peel – Douglas Hartt

Small businesses had their own hurdles, as well, and some like New Jersey’s Citrus-A-Peel thankfully have been able to pivot their services.

Douglas Hartt is the CEO of Citrus-A-Peel, a carpet and upholstery cleaning company. The company was forced to adapt because the Covid-19 reality made the carpet and upholstery cleaning industry almost non-existent. People were no longer ready to allow strangers into their homes, for obvious reasons, not to mention the issue of shrinking dispensable incomes.

“Nothing was coming in, and I knew nothing would come in for a little while. I became a fulltime dad,” Hartt said.

Then, two months later, a daycare center called to use his disinfecting and cleaning services, and something clicked. He made cold calls to other daycares, and this has become his mainstay. As of late, he reached out to previous customers to let them know of all of the precautions that are being taken – including personal protective gear, latex gloves, and sterile boots. This knowledge helped to assuaged the customers’ fears.

Fireside Strategic – Dan King

Another entrepreneur found his new niche by leveraging what is now so often used during the pandemic: virtual meetings.

Dan King, co-founder of Fireside Strategic, began his professional life as a corporate lawyer, and never imagined that his career would take him to creating webinars for CEOs. After months of research with his business partner, they were ready to launch their new company in March of 2020. Their goal was to create an agency that would represent executive and leadership coaches selling their services to larger companies.

But as launch week hit, so did the alarms of Coronavirus. “In the midst of so much business uncertainty, we figured organizations would probably be reducing discretionary spending on things like performance coaching, so we threw our research out the window,” says the Brooklyn-based entrepreneur.

“At first, we had no idea what to do instead. So, we decided we’d better talk to a whole bunch of potential organizational customers and see how we could help.”

King and his business partner came up with the concept of hosting their own video cast for CEOs – much like a podcast, but via webinar – and teaching businesspeople how to do the same. Ninety interviews and a year later, they have thus far interviewed a billionaire, some top Silicon Valley founders, and the current #1 Amazon bestselling author in the management segment.

“An interview show for us is first and foremost about meeting and learning from a fascinating person. If you ask thoughtfully, it’s a very easy way to connect with extremely high-level people, since you are creating content for them, and helping them get their message out. Once you’ve got that initial connection point, you can nurture the relationship towards a sale, a referral partner, an advisor, and so much more,” King noted.

“In the middle of the pandemic when there is just so much pain and suffering, it’s hard to carve out a space to celebrate what is beautiful in the moment. There is always going to be a reason for optimism. There is always going to be some meaning, and from that meaning a possibility for optimism. So, we can give guests the experience of celebrating what is awesome about what they are doing.”

The Take-Away Message

We can all learn some lessons from these entrepreneurs, those who have been able to brainstorm ways to modify their business model to survive the “new normal.” It should give us all hope, that even when we hit a wall, know that there is a way around it, over it, or through it. It takes trust in Gd, some pro-active changes on our end, and the knowledge that, as King David once said, “this, too, is good.”

You Can Take Charge of Your Thoughts – It’s Worth It!

What are the health advantages of optimism and how does one adopt an optimistic approach to life?

1. Optimism is the belief that things will work out in the best possible manner. Optimists tend to believe that they will successfully overcome obstacles and will achieve their goals. For example: optimists under-estimate their risk of getting sick and over-estimate their chances of getting better.

2. Optimists believe that failure is caused due to situations that are passing, specific, and external to them. The pessimist will mostly claim what happened was his own fault.

3. Many extensive studies show that optimists tend to deal better with pressurized situations, recover more quickly from acute medical events, and adjust better to chronic illness. After having bypass surgery or a biopsy, optimists heal faster and have a lower risk of being re-hospitalized. Optimists generally have less psychological stress when undergoing fertility treatment.

4. One study that measured heart and vascular functioning of optimists found that optimists did better than pessimists for both heart and vascular functioning. This study, which measured 5,100 people’s blood pressure, weight, height, blood sugar, and cholesterol levels, revealed that the optimists were 76% more likely to have good measurements.

5. Another study shows that people with a positive life outlook had a healthier heart and immune system, a higher tolerance for pain, and recovered more quickly from cancer. Researchers in Ben-Gurion University found that optimistic women had a lower risk of being

diagnosed with breast cancer and women that went through trauma (which can lead to a loss of optimism) had a risk factor for breast cancer tens of percentage points higher.

6. More than that, a long-term study that included 900 seniors found that the higher their optimism was the lower the chance was that they would die within the next ten years. The impact optimism has on physical health is especially strong and the benefits of having an optimistic outlook are considered equal to quitting smoking!

Okay, I’m convinced. Now how can I adopt an optimistic approach to life?

Recognizing the Good – Are you aware of the good things in your life? Write up a list and identify all the positive things in all your various circles of life. Give thanks and share your experience with your friends.

Make Lemons into Lemonade – Negative experiences are an unavoidable part of our lives. Reframe them in a positive light by asking these questions. Can this be interpreted in a more positive way? Could any good come out of this? Is there an opportunity hidden here? What can I learn from this that I can use later?

Sort out your Thoughts – Focus your thoughts on things that are difficult for you. What thoughts crop up in your mind? Are there many thoughts running around up there or is it one constant nagging thought? Try to think about these problems in a rational manner instead of responding emotionally.

Worries and Fears Are the Enemies of Optimism – Treat debilitating thoughts like background noise, like voices coming from a radio in your vicinity. You can hear them but do not focus on them. Show yourself that you are not listening.

Got a Pessimism Attack? – Do not fight it. Do not judge your thoughts. If you relate to them with curiosity and forgiveness you will cope with them better. Even so, try to steer your mind back on track, focusing on the good. Every time your thoughts go to negative places recognize it and refocus your attention with mindful contemplation.

Once Upon A Thyme – Triple Chocolate Cookies

Adina Yaakov

Looking for a simple yet mouthwatering dessert that’s Kosher for Passover? These triple chocolate cookies made with cocoa powder, melted chocolate, and chocolate chunks are the chocolate lovers dream! Moist, chewy, and freezer friendly, these are the best Passover cookies. Whip up a double batch to keep as an emergency for that moment when your sweet tooth strikes, or for when surprise guests arrive. Although delectable on their own, they work great sandwiched with vanilla ice cream too. Be sure to tuck away this recipe away with your Pesach pots and pans because you will want make it year after year.

Yields 28

Ingredients

3 cups confectioners’ sugar

¾ cup cocoa powder

½ teaspoon salt

5 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped roughly

Plus

4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, melted

1 ½ cups chopped almonds (or any nut)

5 egg whites

1. In a large bowl, whisk together sugar, cocoa, and salt. Stir in chopped almonds, melted chocolate, and egg whites and stir just until incorporated (do not overmix).

2. Drop 1-inch size cookie dough lumps 3 inches apart onto baking sheets. Press the chopped chocolate chunks on top of each cookie.

3. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit until cookie tops are dry and cracked, about 15 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through.

4. Store in an airtight container for up to 3 days or freeze for 4 weeks.

From The Files of The Mitzvah Man – “What Else Do You Need?

Pnina Souid

The Mitzvah Man was listening to a class delivered by Rabbi Meyer Yedid, during which the rabbi told a famous story of a man who asked the Bet Halevi (Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik of Brisk, 1820-1892) if he could use milk instead of wine for the cups at the seder on Pesach. Rather than answer the question, the Bet Halevi handed the man an envelope containing a large amount of money. The man clarified that he had come to ask a halachic question, not to request charity. But the Bet Halevi insisted that he take the money, which he could, if he so wished, consider a loan instead of charity.

After the man left, the Rebbetzin asked why the rabbi gave this fellow such a large amount of money. After all, just a few rubles would have sufficed to enable him to buy wine. The Bet Halevi replied, “If this man was asking such a question, then he must have no food to feed his family and no money to buy them clothes and shoes for the holiday.”

The Mitzvah Man compared the Bet Halevi to Avraham Avinu, who was able to look deeply and see what a person really needed. Whereas most people just see the surface, great people like Avraham and Bet Halevi see beyond the surface and truly understand each individual’s plight.

The Mitzvah Man told me that this class brought to mind an incident that took place eight years ago. A Hassidic gentleman, Rabbi Schwartz, came to him and said he needed a car.

“It is hard for me to ask for this,” Rabbi Schwartz said, “but I need a car for my livelihood. I am not able to keep a regular job because I must care for my family. My wife is not well. She is in the hospital. Two of my children are autistic and are currently in separate hospitals. I travel to three hospitals a day and take care of the children at home and collect charity. A car would be a life saver.”

The Mitzvah Man told Rabbi Schwartz that he would see what he could do. Sure enough, he managed to find a car for him, and Rabbi Schwartz was very grateful.

But the Mitzvah Man realized that this family needed a lot more than a car. He turned to Rabbi Schwartz and asked, “What else do you need?”

“What else do I need?!” the man responded, incredulously. “What do you mean? You just gave me a car!”

The Mitzvah Man repeated, “What else do you need?”

“We have a wedding coming up,” Rabbi Schwartz said. “My wife and daughter need wedding gowns.”

The Mitzvah Man was able to get two new wedding gowns.

Again, the Mitzvah Man asked Rabbi Schwartz, “What else can I do for you?”

Rabbi Schwartz told him that his wife and the bride need wigs. The Mitzvah Man got to work and obtained wigs.

The Mitzvah Man persisted, “What else? You have a large family.”

Rabbi Schwartz sighed and said, “Baruch Hashem, we are making another simha – my son is becoming bar mitzvah. It looks like he’ll have to borrow tefillin every day.”

“Absolutely not!” said the Mitzvah Man. “We will get him new tefillin.” And he did.

“What else can we do for you?”

The family needed furniture – a couch, a kitchen table, and chairs. They needed shades for the windows, and food for the upcoming holiday of Pesah. Mitzvah Man took care of it all.

All this was accomplished because the Mitzvah Man learned that you must look deeper into the situation. And when he looked deeper, he realized that Rabbi Schwartz and his family needed more than a car.

As the Mitzvah Man explained: “When someone needs help, we have to put ourselves in that person’s shoes.”

The Mitzvah Man told me another story of a young man who started going to his shul. He would walk in on Shabbat with a ponytail, wearing an earring, a sweater, and jeans. The Mitzvah Man went over to greet him.

“Nice to see you,” he said.

The Mitzvah Man told his friends to go over and greet this fellow so he would feel comfortable. The man started attending more frequently, and gradually began dressing more appropriately.

“We have to look deeper,” the Mitzvah Man reflects. “We must let ourselves feel what the person is going through. We must look beyond the surface and ask the first question – ‘How can I help you?’ – and then go further and ask: ‘What else do you need?’”

Mashiah Revealed: Part VII – The Arrival of Eliyahu Hanavi Before Mashiah

Rabbi Eliyahu Haim Aboud

The appearance of mysterious men on missions of rescue and salvation throughout our nation’s history has always been attributed to the Prophet Eliyahu. Who exactly is this man, and how does he continue to impact upon the survival of the Jewish Nation? This month’s installment surveys the words of our Sages and ancient history in order to present a clearer picture of Eliyahu Hanavi and the role he will play in our redemption process and in shaping our nation’s future.

The Last Recorded Prophecy

The Tanach contains many recorded prophecies pertaining to Mashiah’s arrival and the events that will unfold at that time. In the final prophecy recorded before the end of nevua (prophecy), the prophet Malachi conveys the following promise to the Jewish people: “Behold I will send to you Eliyahu Hanavi prior to the onset of the great and awesome day of Gd…” (Malachi 3:23).

The commentariesi explain that “the great and awesome day of Gd” refers to the time of Mashiah’s arrival. Just prior to the onset of the Messianic age, the ancient prophet Eliyahu, who lived during the First Temple era, will be sent forth and appear in person to the Jewish nation to herald our redemption.

When Exactly Will Eliyahu Come?

We find different indications as to when precisely Eliyahu will arrive. The commonly assumed opinionii is that he will arrive together with Mashiah ben David. In fact, many have the custom to recite a short prayer before or after havdalah on Mossa’ei Shabbat, “Eliyahu Hanavi…bimhera yavo elenu im Mashiah ben David – Eliyahu Hanavi… may he speedily come forth to us with Mashiah ben David.”

Other sourcesiii, however, claim that Eliyahu will arrive one or three days before Mashiah ben David, while others say that he will come even earlier, before Mashiah ben Yosef.iv

Eliyahu’s Job

What is the purpose behind Eliyahu’s arrival? What role will he fill in the redemptive process?

Firstlyv, Eliyahu will come to announce to the world the news of Mashiah’s imminent arrival and the dawn of a new chapter in the existence of mankind – “The Messianic Era.” Secondlyvi, he will guide the Jewish Nation toward complete repentance and prepare them for the final redemption. Lastlyvii, Eliyahu will bring back the special anointing oil for the anointing of Mashiah and the purifying waters of the parah adumah (red heifer) needed to purify the nation.

Our sagesviii explain the intent of why specifically Eliyahu was chosen to announce Mashiah’s arrival as Eliyahu was transformed into an angel and ascended to heaven alive, he is the only one on hand throughout the generations, with the ability to appear at any given moment should the need arise. Now that he has this mission, he will ensure that Mashiah does arrive for the Jewish Nation so that he can complete his task. The Midrash notesix that on five occasions in the Tanach, the name “Eliyahu” is spelled in an unusual fashion, without the letter vav.

Correspondingly, the Midrash observes, we find the name “Yaakov” spelled with an extra vav five times in Tanach. The Midrash explains that Yaakov Avinu took the letter from Eliyahu as a security that he will fulfill his difficult mission to ensure that his children will be worthy of redemption in the end of days. Thus, Malachi’s promise that Eliyahu will come to us essentially promises that Eliyahu will fulfill his mission of preparing us for the final redemption. (Interestingly enough, Yaakov specifically took the letter vav, which has the numerical value of six, alluding to the guarantee that Eliyahu will come to facilitate the redemption by the Hebrew year six thousand.x)

Who is Eliyahu Hanavi?

The book of Melachim relates numerous incidents involving the prophet Eliyahu and the miracles he performed, yet it provides virtually no information about his personal life and background. We are told only that he originated from the town of Toshav and resided in the city of Gilad. He lived and prophesied during the reign of King Ahav and his son King Ahazyahu, who ruled over the Northern Kingdom of Israel in the middle of the First Temple era. We also read that he ascended alive to heaven in a fiery chariot, elevated to the level of the angels.xi However, nothing else about his life or origins is recorded.

The most famous and commonly accepted view identifies Eliyahu as the righteous zealot Pinhasxii, the grandson of Aharon Hakohen, who lived during the Jewish people’s travels in the desert and entered the Land of Israel. Gd rewarded Pinhas with everlasting longevity when he risked his life to kill Zimri, prince of the tribe of Shimon, in defense of Hashem’s honor, thereby rescuing the Jewish Nation from further spiritual deterioration and possible destruction.xiii Indeed, Pinhas is mentioned on several occasions in the books of the Prophets, even during the times of King David – over four hundred years after the incident of Zimri!xiv According to this view, Pinhas spent an extended period in seclusion and reappeared approximately 150 years later under the name Eliyahu. His life, then, spanned a period of 12 generations!

This connection between Pinhas and Eliyahu is reflected in the custom to prepare a special chair for Eliyahu Hanavi at every berit milah. The Midrashxv explains this custom as the result of Eliyahu’s complaints to Gd that the Jewish people have betrayed their covenant with Him. Hashem sharply scolded the prophet for his accusation: “Why must you always zealously reprimand My children? You did so in the desert and now with My entire nation during the reign of the idolatrous King Ahav and his false prophets! From now on you must be present at every berit milah to witness the faithfulness of My beloved nation and how they devotedly bring all their baby boys into My special convent!”

Othersxvi, however, believe that Eliyahu and Pinhas were actually two different people, but they possessed the same neshama (soul). Their shared soul accounts for their similar character traits and the similar acts of heroism which they performed.

Eliyahu’s Greatness

The Book of Melachim describes in detail numerous miracles which Hashem performed at the hands of Eliyahu Hanavi. In response to King Ahav’s idolatry, Eliyahu declared the withholding of all rain for three years. He also conducted tehiyat hametim (resurrection of the dead) to the only child of a grieving widow, and brought a heavenly fire which consumed the offering he prepared on Mount Carmel in full view of King Ahav and his constituents. On another occasion, an angel provided Eliyahu with “spiritual” bread and water which enabled him to travel for forty consecutive days through the desert without any other food or drink.

Our sages express particular reverence for Eliyahu, calling him “the prince of the prophets” and second only to his master and teacher, Moshe Rabbenu, who was the greatest of all prophets.xvii He beheld prophetic visions with a high level of clarity and while awake and in full control of his senses – similar to the prophecies of Moshe Rabbenu.xviii A number of commentators also note that Eliyahu was the source of much of the prophecy that was present in his time. The intense divine spirit which constantly rested upon him was channeled to other prophets, enabling them to receive prophecy. When Eliyahu ascended to heaven, much of the prophecy of his time was lost.

Throughout the Ages

One of the highest praises that can be said about a saddik is that he learned or received advice from Eliyahu Hanavi. Our sages explain that since Eliyahu never physically died, he can return to this world. Hashem therefore frequently sends him to help the Jewish people when the need arises. In fact, the Zohar writes that all the miracles performed in the world are brought about through Eliyahu Hanavi.xix

Over the course of Jewish history, thousands of instances have been recorded where Eliyahu has appeared and saved the Jewish Nation from calamity. It would be no exaggeration to say that our nation owes its very survival to this extraordinary prophet who has appeared countless times to rescue Gd’s people.

May we all be privileged to behold his shining countenance as he comes to herald Mashiah’s arrival and the end of all our suffering, speedily and in our days, Amen.

Next Issue: The Return of the Lost Ten Tribes

Eliyahu Hanavi to the Rescue

Significant occasions when Eliyahu came to save the Jewish people:

  1. Purim – It was Eliyahu who revealed to Mordechai the secret decree of Haman and Ahashverosh to annihilate the Jewish Nation, thus enabling him to thwart the plan by inspiring the people to engage in repentance and prayer.xx
  2. The Oral Torah – In the aftermath of the Second Temple’s destruction (150-200 CE), the Oral Torah was in danger of being forgotten due to the harsh persecution suffered by the Jewish Nation. The famous sage Rabbi Yehudah Hanasi assembled all the scholars of his time and, with the help of Eliyahu Hanavi, composed the Mishna, the written version of the Oral Law and the basic outline of the Talmud.xxi
  3. The Secrets of Torah – At around the same time, Eliyahu Hanavi revealed Kabbalah, the secrets of the Torah, to the great kabbalist Rabbi Shimon Bar Yohai. Rabbi Shimon later put this wisdom into writing, producing the Zohar Hakadosh, the primary source of kabbalistic teaching.xxii
  4. Our Present Knowledge in Kabbalah – During the 16th century, Eliyahu appeared to the famous kabalistic master Rabbi Yizhak Luria Ashkenazi, zs”l, or the Arizal (1534-1572), revealing to him the forgotten secrets of Kaballah on a clearer level than ever before for over twenty years. His most prominent disciple, Rabbi Haim Vital, zs”l, recorded these teachings in his Sefer Ess Haim, forming the basic text of all Kabalistic writings which is studied by scholars of Kabbalah until today.xxiii

Eliyahu thus quite literally saved much of the Torah from being forgotten, and is thereby responsible for our nation’s spiritual survival throughout the millennia of exile.

These are just a few of the literally thousands of episodes that have been recorded where Eliyahu miraculously intervened to save Jews – and Judaism – from danger.

____________

i See Masechet Eruvin 43b; Abarbanel to Malachi 3:23; and Rambam, Hilchot Melachim chapter 12.
iiSefer Haim Sha’al by the Hida, chapter 98.
iiiYalkut Shimoni, Yeshaya chapter 52.
ivSee Tana Debe Eliyahu, chapter 18; Tosafot, Masechet Baba Messia 114b.
v Yonatan Ben Uziel, Bamidbar 25:13. vi See Malachi 3:24 and commentaries.
vii Mechilta, Shemot 17:32. viii See Rashi to Vayikra 26:42. ix Ibid. x Sefer Mal’ach Haberit, p. 185. xiMelachim I, chapters 17-22; Melachim II, chapters 1-3.
xii See Yalkut Shimoni, Yonatan ben Uziel and Seforno to Bamidbar 25:13.
xiii Ibid.
xiv See Ralbag and Abarbanel to Melachim I, chapter 17.
xv Yalkut Shimoni to Yehoshua, chapter 5.
xviiSefer Aderet Eliyahu parshat Vzot Haberacha 34:1.
xviii see Yalkut Shimoni in Melachim I chapter 1 and Abarbanel there.
xix Parashat Vayigash 209a.
xxYonatan Ben Uziel to Megilat Esther, 4:1.
xxi See Masechet Baba Messi’a 85b.
xxii See Zohar Hadash, Parashat Ki Tavo; Sefer Toldot Talmide Rabbi Akiva by Rabbi Yoel Schwartz, page 129.
xxiii See Sefer Vayashev Hayam by Rabbi Yaakov Hillel, vol. 2 page 206.

Mabrouk – March 2021

Births – Baby Boy

Steven & Julie Oran

Steven & Madeleine Jemal

Births – Baby Girl

Donny & Michelle Nakar – twins!!

Judah & Rachel Esses

Morris & Lendy Hanono

Moses & Yvette Nasar

Weddings

Benjamin Ben-Haim to Jamie Beyda

Nathan Benzaken to Renee Mizrahi