Long before the modern-day special education system was created, Shlomo Hamelech, in Sefer Mishle (22:6), recommended individualized instruction: “Teach the child according to His way.”

Many commentators explain this to mean that one should educate the child in Hashem’s way – the way He wants us to conduct our lives. But others explain this to mean that a child must be raised in his – the child’s – way.  As the Stone edition of the Tanach writes, “…the effect of a proper upbringing is lifelong but in raising a child parents and teachers must take careful account of his ability and character.” No two children are the same, and so no two children should be educated in precisely the same way.

Rochelle Gemal, a”h, exemplified both meanings of this verse.

She dedicated her life to the service of Hashem through her innumerable acts of hesed, and by educating each and every person she taught according to His ways. And while she was taken from our world before we were ready to say goodbye, her legacy will live on in the state-of-the- art Rochelle Gemal A”H Special Education Learning Center and Resource Room at Yeshivat Keter Torah.

A Thirst for Knowledge

Together with her husband, Mitchell, Mrs. Gemal built a beautiful Torah family, and they were blessed with many grandchildren. Her daughter, Sara Bijou, relates that while growing up, she and her siblings had limited access to television, and by the time she was in high school, the television was gone. “Not for religious reasons,” Sara explains.  “My mother just didn’t believe in it.” Instead, Mrs. Gemal spent hours reading to her children, and later to her grandchildren.

“We learned that education, and reading, in particular, was a fundamental value to my mom and influenced everything she did in her life,” Sara reflects.

Rochelle’s thirst for knowledge was evident in the sheer number of classes she attended. Rabbi Shlomo Diamond recalls how Rochelle attended his classes consistently for 40 years.

“In the beginning, she took copious notes which made the class better than it was,” Rabbi Diamond says. “She made xerox copies and shared them with her friends.” Later, she made cassette tapes and distributed them to friends in Deal and Brooklyn.

Mrs. Gemal’s daughter, Adele Cohen, recalls a story told by her grandmother.  “Apparently, my mom loved school so much that when she was told she couldn’t go to school because she had the chicken pox, she cried and cried all day.  My mom loved school so much, she always said she made it her ‘lifelong profession’.”

And what an illustrious profession it was, spanning 48 years, during which time Mrs. Gemal taught students of all ages, including newly-arrived Russian immigrants, in almost every educational institution in our community.

A Love for Knowledge

After graduating from Brooklyn College, Mrs. Gemal began her teaching career at Magen David Yeshiva in Brooklyn, where she was beloved by her students. In fact, when her daughter was approached to babysit, she was told by the mother looking to hire her, “You come with a great recommendation from my husband.”

“But I never met your husband,” the babysitter said, perplexed. “How could he recommend me?”

To that the woman replied: “Well, you are Mrs. Rochelle Gemal’s daughter, and she was my husband’s favorite teacher, so you come recommended!”

As much as Mrs. Gemal loved her profession and enjoyed teaching, her first priority was her own family. And so when the family moved to Deal, she did not immediately pursue a full-time teaching position. Her passion for teaching was satisfied in her position as a substitute teacher at Hillel, where her own children attended school. She also pursued her own educational goals by studying and receiving a license to teach special education.

She later began teaching at Ilan High School, where her versatility and vast knowledge allowed her to teach both AP courses as well as special education students. “Rochelle had the ability to bring out the best in all her students,” her husband, Mitchell, describes. “I watched her work with a student who was clearly having difficulty with the material. By the time she was finished, the child not only knew the material, but had a newfound confidence that Rochelle instilled.”

When she believed in you, you believed in yourself.

Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Reinman, who worked with Mrs. Gemal extensively at Ilan High School, and later, on several proofreading projects, says of her: “She had a relentless thirst for personal growth through knowledge. According to Rabbenu Yonah in Avot (4:1), the measure of a wise person is not how much knowledge he has accumulated, but how much he loves knowledge. Rochelle had knowledge, but even more important, she had great intellectual curiosity.”

Aside from teaching, Mrs. Gemal took on the role of proofreader “par excellence” of every yearbook and publication that the school produced. Mrs. Hena Diamond, principal at Ilan High School, describes Mrs. Gemal’s work as “meticulous, catching every mistake, be it grammar, context, font size, and more.”

But where Mrs. Gemal made the most impact was in her keen sensitivity to others. Mrs. Diamond says it most succinctly: “She had the intuition to be there for people in a deep and consistent way…in a way that they can gain true hizuk [encouragement].”

In a speech she gave to high school students about the importance of hesed, Mrs. Bonnie Mansour spoke of her “best friend,” Mrs. Gemal, and the “one small gesture that gave me the confidence to become who I am today.” That small gesture took place in the lunchroom at Boody Middle School in Brooklyn, and it was quintessential Rochelle – intuitive and sensitive. Seeing Bonnie, a fellow student who had just moved from out of town and looking a little lost, Rochelle, all of 14 years old, waved to Bonnie and patted the seat next to her, inviting her to sit with her and her friends, thus making her an established member of the group. It was this character trait that informed every aspect of Rochelle’s life and career as an educator.

“Powerhouse”

After working at Ilan for many years, Rochelle took on the role of support teacher at Yeshivat Keter Torah.  She would enter a classroom and work alongside a student who needed extra guidance during the lesson. This allowed the student to remain in the classroom with his friends and peers, while receiving the extra coaching and assistance he needed.

Rabbi Aharon Yanai, the yeshiva’s menahel, describes Mrs. Gemal as a “powerhouse” dedicated and devoted to her students.  “Education meant everything to Mrs. Gemal, a”h, and the students sensed her seriousness about learning and took their learning seriously because of that.”

Her message to the students was twofold: This is important, and you can do this.

The Rochelle Gemal Learning Center

 With her limitless devotion, commitment to her students and compassionate intuition, Mrs. Gemal created a legacy of learning that Yeshivat Keter Torah continues to embody.  How befitting it is that the yeshiva is honoring the memory of this exceptional woman by establishing the Rochelle Gemal A’H Learning Center and Resource Room. The room will be designed to look and feel pleasant and fun for the student. Through its trained professionals, who will utilize individualized and small-group instruction, targeted assessments, multi-sensory learning, and strong teacher-student relationships to address the specific goals of the individual student, the Learning Center will enhance the academic and general growth of all its students.

“At Keter Torah, we passionately believe that every child can succeed,” says Mrs. Chaya Sima Wahrman, Director of Special Services at Yeshivat Keter Torah. “In the Learning Center, our goal is to provide each child with the tools he needs to attain the foundational skills necessary for academic success.”

Research shows that when a child has strong foundational skills, those learned in pre-school through third grade, he has the best chance of academic success. The Common Core Standards, developed in 2009 by state leaders, including governors and state commissioners of education, addressed the need to ensure that critical thinking skills, reasoning, skills, and evidence collection skills in both math and reading, were achieved. In the same way that we monitor an infant’s milestones in baby steps – crawling, standing, walking, running – foundational skills are milestones that every student should reach in grades pre-k to 3 in order to become a strong reader. The standards emphasize that when it comes to these foundational skills, “Instruction should be differentiated: good readers will need much less practice with these concepts than struggling readers will. The point is to teach students what they need to learn and not what they already know – to discern when particular children or activities warrant more or less attention.”

Without realizing it, this committee put into practice the advice of Shlomo Hamelech – “Teach every child according to his way.”

The Keter Torah faculty and administration are committed to identifying student challenges while they can still mold skills and make sure the basics are mastered.  As Rabbi Yanai, menahel, explains, the assessment process is thorough and ongoing.

“Each student is assessed for strengths and areas of challenge.  For instance, a student may be strong in reading but requires support in math or vice versa, or a student may be strong in both but needs support for his reading comprehension. Our goal is to assist in areas that are needed while keeping the child in his regular class for all other subjects. This reduces the stigma sometimes associated with the resource room and does not compromise the child’s socialization with his peers. The child gets the message that ‘I have needs that need to be met, but I can still be part of the regular class’.”

Weekly assessment meetings are held by the classroom teacher and resource room professional working with the student. When it is determined that the student has mastered the necessary skills, he is mainstreamed back into the classroom. But not without the support he needs.

The Rochelle Gemal Tutoring Fund

To that end, the Gemal family is spearheading a second initiative that addresses the financial burden borne by the families of students requiring supplemental support, or tutoring, outside the resource room. Most tutors receive as much as $80 an hour, which can impose an extraordinary financial burden on a family already paying yeshiva tuition.

“Special education needs special attention, and no child should be denied the opportunity for success because of lack of funds,” Mr. Gemal explains. He says that Rochelle believed this and set a personal example of selfless devotion to help struggling students and their parents. “When Rochelle identified a student who was falling behind in class and in danger of being left back a grade, she would offer to tutor them in our home. Many times, knowing the family could not afford to pay, she would not charge them for her services. Her main concern was making sure the child succeeded.”

Following in the tradition of Mrs. Gemal a”h, her family has set out to create the Rochelle Gemal A”H Tutoring Fund. The model they envision is simple but ingenious – tutoring services for children who cannot afford the fees, provided by teachers or tutors requiring supplemental income.

“Our gemach [charitable fund], will not only give the parents who cannot afford the cost of tutoring the ability to provide their children with the much-needed support, but also address the parnasah needs of the families of teachers,” Mr. Gemal explains. “We help the child, his parents, and families that can use a few extra dollars to cover their expenses.”  Truly a win-win-win situation.

The initial funding for the program will be endowed by the Gemal family, and it will be replenished by donations.

Rabbi Shlomo Diamond describes Rochelle as “a lady who in her quiet, modest way influenced so many others,” and who “left the world hidden, without any fanfare, and that was the way she was her whole life.”  She was a woman deeply committed to education, knowledge, and personal growth, devoted to hesed and lovingkindness, and who lived by the guiding principle, “When you save one neshamah (soul), you save the world.” Her smile, her reassuring words, and her gracefulness, will be sorely missed.  But through the Rochelle Gemal A”H Resource Room and the Rochelle Gemal A”H Tutoring Fund, her legacy of education and hesed will continue for many years to come.

Even when Mrs. Gemal became ill, she kept to her teaching schedule as best as she could. It was always a top priority for her. The following touching poem, presented to her by the administration, faculty, and students of Yeshivat Keter Torah, illustrates her singular dedication:

Each Tuesday and Thursday

And some Wednesdays, this year

Our school was so privileged

Because you were here

You’d peek into the classroom

And then kindly enter

Circulating to aid each student

In the front, back and center

With clarity you’d explain

Grammar, reading and math

You’d teach and elucidate

Setting each student on the right path

And so Mrs. Gemal,

We thought you should know

Our best wishes are with you

And WE MISS YOU SO!

Thank you for touching the lives of our students

An Opportunity to Share in this Mitzvah

Rabbis have taught us that providing funds for a child’s Torah education is considered an admirable outlet for a person’s ma’aser kesafim (charitable tithe). Anyone interested in sharing in this mitzvah and donate to the Rochelle Gemal A”H  Special Education Learning Center, Resource Room, and Tutoring Gemach FUND, is invited to send an email to Mgemal@keter.org.

Can our children return to school safely?

This is the million-dollar question!

By the time you read this, I trust that you will feel comfortable with the reopening plans implemented by the schools your children attend.  The COVID-19 environment is unpredictable. However, many concepts related to getting our children ready for school remain the same. Let’s take a look at the back to school (BTS) process for Fall 2020.

The BTS process is a challenging and essential undertaking that we go through every year. As parents, we plan and prepare for the new school year and wean ourselves off vacation mode along with our kids. We return to our school year schedules and create new routines and habits.

Since mid-March, our lives have been consumed by the pandemic and we are living a new normal. We are learning to live with uncertainty and have worked to turn adverse situations into opportunities.

Priorities and New Issues During These Times

This year, the #1 priority for parents, the government, and school administrators is keeping students and staff safe and the COVID-19 virus from spreading.  The #2 priority is helping our children navigate the complex emotions they face about returning to school.  The Novel Coronavirus has produced high levels of uncertainty that we have never faced before.

In normal times, pre-pandemic, there was a certain amount of anxiety, stress, or trepidation that children experienced about returning to school, starting a new grade, a new division, or a new yeshiva.  During the pandemic, there are a host of additional issues to address and questions to answer for children and parents:

Will parents be able to go back to work?

How will my children get to and from school?

Will our kids be learning remotely or in person?

What will the classrooms look like? Will there be sufficient spacing?

Will the children have to wear face coverings all day?

Will all our kids’ classmates or friends be there?

Where will the students eat lunch?

Since all learning was remote for the last four months of the prior school year, some children may have struggled with virtual learning, fallen behind in their studies, craved the physical connection with other students, and now feel apprehensive about returning to school.

Our job as parents is to be able to reassure our children, respond to questions, and initiate a conversation to tap into how they are feeling about the new school year.

Allow me to provide some hizuk, encouragement.  If you have been a parent for a number of years, you have been fine tuning your parenting skills. Please draw upon the stored resilience and experience you already have.

Please remember that we are not the only ones whose lives have been turned upside down. Our children are our heroes too!  They could not play with friends or see their teachers, and they missed that vital physical and social connection that they experience in school.

Tips for Getting Ready for This School Year

Below are guideposts for you to review and use that hopefully will pave the way for a smoother BTS experience.

 Prepare for the Transition – This year’s planning includes lots of contingencies, but as parents we need to provide focus, direction, and structure for our kids.

Ease your children and yourselves into waking up and going to bed earlier before it is time for your kids to go back to school.  We all need to adjust to our new timetables and being well rested will support the entire family in getting back into the groove of school.  Are you all set with school requirements for supplies, uniforms, and gear?

Stay Updated and Educated – If ever there was a time to stay well-informed, it is now. Researchers continue to learn more about the Novel Coronavirus. Stay educated about COVID-19 by consulting state and CDC guidelines and teaching your children how they can be in control by washing their hands, wearing face coverings, and keeping socially distant.  You can ask for tips from your children’s pediatrician, school principals, and guidance counselors.

The NYC Department of Education has chosen a “blended learning” model for the fall, involving a combination of in-person and distance learning.  Most students will attend in-person classes two or three days a week and learn online the other days.  Social distancing and face coverings will be required, along with hand washing stations and new cleaning protocols.  Families will have the option to choose all-remote learning, for any reason.

Most of our yeshivot prepared reopening plans for different scenarios based on the current health situation and in accordance with the statutory guidelines.  The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended that “school policies be flexible and nimble in responding to new information, and administrators must be willing to refine approaches when specific policies are not working.”

If the number of COVID-19 cases remains low, most yeshivot will likely follow either a full-time in-person schedule or a blended hybrid model of virtual and in-person learning.  In-person learning can be based on a cohort model. Students are divided into cohorts or groups that remain together throughout the day.

Some schools are offering five days of in-person learning and others are offering three or four days of in-person with the other one or two days virtual. Reopening plans may also include a phased in approach, building up over several weeks to four or five days of in-person learning.

Plans include protocols created by medical experts and will require collaboration between the school, the students, and the parents to succeed. Procedures must be strictly followed if a child gets sick in school (parents must be vigilant about not sending children who do not feel well to school). Examples of other requirements are:  Nurses will be on sight, a screening of students will take place upon arrival at school, there will be fewer students in each classroom appropriately distant from each other and wearing face coverings, plexiglass barriers may separate students from each other and students from the teacher, staggered lunch periods, no socializing near lockers, and more.

The common objectives of school reopening plans are to ensure the safety and health of the students and staff and uphold the schools’ core educational standards and values.

We also have to be prepared for the possibility of an uptick in COVID-19 cases, which would mean our children would be sent home for five days of virtual learning.

 Listen and Validate – Practice active listening and validate your children’s feelings, fears, and anxieties.  Listening has become a lost art. Listen to what they are saying and perhaps not saying (their unspoken feelings). Help them articulate their emotions. If your children do not ask questions about COVID-19, you can start the conversation.  Allow them to talk about their worries and really listen and address those worries before school starts.  Inquire about their expectations for the new year. Yes, there are lots of questions that you do not have answers to.  Be patient, be honest, and help them feel safe.  For example, when talking to young children, you can say, “it’s normal to feel sad or scared.”

Be truthful but make sure your responses are age appropriate.  Be mindful about over-sharing.  Limit your children’s screen time and exposure to media.  Be calm when you talk about the pandemic.  Kids are smart and can read our facial expressions and tone of voice.

 Be a Positive Role Model – Being positive and practicing gratitude are tools that are even more important than usual in response to the pandemic.  Be mindful of modeling an optimistic approach with your children.

Our kids take their cues from Mom and Dad.  If you are stressed or appear anxious or frightened, the kids will pick up on it.  Communicate hope and be confident but avoid making promises you cannot keep.

Take a few minutes and ask your children to list three things that they are grateful for in the morning or evening.  You can do it as a family at breakfast or dinner.  The kids will be surprised about how many good things they still have in their lives and so will you!

Practice Flexibility and Resilience – Other key principles in our parenting toolbox include resilience and flexibility.  As parents, we need to practice self-care and put on our own oxygen masks first. If we get overwhelmed and burnt out, we will not be there for our families.

Flexibility is one of the fundamental rules of positive parenting.  Do not get stuck on ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds.’ If something is not working do not be afraid to change it.

Children learn a lot from their parents’ resilience, mainly when they see how their mothers and fathers tackle adversity and uncertainty.

It is so important to apply calmness, kindness, and consistency in responding to our children’s fears, particularly in these uncertain times.

The future is uncertain. What is certain is that, bezrat Hashem, our children will be learning once the school year begins, albeit in circumstances that cause significant challenges for all of us. Focus on the positive with your kids, and remind them that everything, including what will be with school and COVID-19, is in Gd’s hands.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).