The Shomer Emunim (Vol. 1) revealed a secret in the name of the great mekubal Rav Tzvi Aryeh of Alik.
There was once a gathering in Heaven of all souls who had already gone through this world numerous times. Nevertheless, they had yet achieved their tikkun (rectification) to be granted their position in Olam Haba. These souls asked Hashem, “What else can we do? Please give us another chance!” Hashem responded, “When it comes time for the final generation before Mashiah, all of you will be sent back to the world and will have one final opportunity. You will face many tests, especially in emunah, and My Presence will be hidden. If during that time you can retain your emunah and believe that I am behind everything that happens, that will be your ultimate tikkun.”
Our rabbis tell us that we are those souls, and this is the final generation. We live in a world that does not recognize Hashem. We see things that don’t make sense. We hear of tragedies, lo aleinu, of people dying young, of so much suffering. We want to ask why. However, it is all part of Hashem’s Master Plan, with the single goal of bringing everyone to fulfill their ultimate purpose – to live forever with Him in the World to Come.
The Rambam writes that when a child passes away at a young age, it means that his mission in this world has been completed. He is ready to enjoy the delights of Gan Eden. B’ezrat Hashem, these challenges are not going to last much longer. The pasuk in Malachi 3:1 says that the Mashiah is going to come suddenly. And then, as the navi says (Yeshayah 26:19), the dead will emerge from their graves and families will be united. Our enemies will be wiped out and the Jewish people will live in peace and harmony. We have to believe that this could happen at any moment.
What does it mean that Mashiah will come suddenly?
Rav Chaim Volozhiner painted the following picture with his students:
Mashiah will arrive on an ordinary day, like today. We will be involved in our regular routines. I will go home after Shaharit for breakfast and to prepare my shiur as usual. My wife will go to the market as always, and she’ll remind me to keep an eye on the soup so it doesn’t burn. Suddenly, while preparing for the shiur, I’m going to feel the sun shining with unusual brightness and hear the birds singing the most beautiful melodies. The trees will be in full bloom, more beautiful than ever. There’s going to be a lot of commotion in the streets.
I will go outside and see one of the neighbors running.
“What’s going on?” I’ll ask him, and he’ll answer, “Didn’t you hear? Mashiah is here!”
I’ll run to the closet to change into my Shabbat clothes to greet Mashiah.
My wife will come home. “You forgot the soup!” she’ll announce, sniffing. “It’s burning!”
“Don’t worry about the soup!” I’ll joyously respond. “Mashiah is here!”
It’s going to be a joyous times! Until then, out task is to believe that Hashem is running the world, He is here with us. He is causing everything to happen, and He does everything for our benefit. Having emunah in our generation will be our final tikkun, and b’ezrat Hashem, it will bring the Redemption. Chazal tell us (Yalkut Shimoni, Hoshea 519) that we were redeemed from Egypt in the merit of our emunah, and our future Redemption will also come in the merit of emunah.
Rabbi Mansour’s article last month (“The Secret to Success During Times of Crisis”) was right on point – as usual. With the rabbi’s permission, I would like to add the following thought. I was taught that tzedekah can take many forms besides a gift of money. According to Hillel, the highest form of tzedekah is to help another person become self-sufficient, not to give them a handout. If you can teach your trade to others, drive them to job interviews, volunteer in a school (even as a janitor, because it will allow the school to spend its limited funds on education, instead of paying janitors) or otherwise do something to help others become self-sufficient, that is a higher form of tzedekah than a financial contribution. Of course, if you are able to do both – to donate funds and your time – that would be even better. As the rabbi wrote, may we all be deserving of a year filled with joy, health, blessing, and success.
Albert M.
Family Tree
Last issue’s column about tracing one’s family heritage (“L’Dor V’Dor – Tracing My Family Heritage”) emotionally moved me. I am also searching for my roots, wanting to find out about my mother’s relatives and ancestors. Who were they, what did they do, how did they think? What were their personalities like? Why was the preservation of our traditions so important to my mother?
To tell the truth, I’m not exactly sure why I’m doing this. I know I want to preserve the pear tree my mother planted, the intricate doilies she crocheted despite being legally blind. I want to see the home where she grew up in Aleppo, Syria. I want to see pictures of her parents. And I wish so badly that I could recall all the details she shared of her youth, while I was a child.
Can you give me information about doing ancestral research? I will be traveling to Israel for my mother’s yartzheit – are any records kept there? Thank you!
Raquel W.
Finding Your Soulmate
Last month’s article about shidduchim (“Finding Your Soulmate”) was one of the most sensible articles written on the topic. This is the sort of thing that should be included in the school social studies curriculum. Give kids at least some straight-forward, level-headed advice, which they can actually follow in practical terms, instead of leaving them with all the ridiculous media messages and silly “Cinderella and the Prince” ideas they get from the movies and magazine articles. I posted the article in my kitchen for my 24-year-old son. Thanks a lot.
Margie T.
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I found last month’s article about finding one’s naseeb way too simplistic – and far-fetched. Where does attraction and liking the person fit in? The suggestion that looking for a person with good quality traits seems way too cut and dry. I agree that having fine middot is an important qualification, but if this is the only factor, then it seems as if you can marry just about anyone. Of course, this is not so. True commitment is an essential mainstay of marriage, but if this is what is being taught to people as the Jewish way, I have no doubt as to why there are so many divorces in our community – and not at the fault of the couple – rather a society that defines marriage in such an unrealistic way.
Solomon H.
Recipes
Photo by Adina Yaakov
I love the recipe for the Fruity Pebbles Ice Cream Bowls. It is right up my alley – easy to make and so much fun to eat! My kids loved it!
“Behind every dark cloud there is a silver lining.”
During this terrible time of the COVID-19, which has permeated every aspect of our lives, our community, and the world at large, we find there are actually many positive consequences. Last month, I observed how we have rediscovered ourselves, our kids, spouses, families, and friends, and vice versa. We are using the technology that formally isolated and divided us to keep us connected. We have seen how resilient, creative, and caring we all are. These things can be viewed as the silver lining.
Estate Planning
In the legal area, as well, there have been unexpected silver linings. The low interest rates are driving a surprisingly robust real estate market. And negatives such as the stalled economy, volatile stock market, record unemployment, and lowered asset valuations, coupled with the highest estate and gift tax exemptions in history, have created a unique but short-term window of opportunity for estate planning, asset protection, and tax shelters. Most people feel that these things are not relevant to them. Rather, they are significant only for very high net worth individuals. This is a common misconception. Estate planning includes preparing the basic documents, such as wills, powers of attorney, and living wills/health care directives. Estate planning takes into consideration each family’s unique circumstances and goals. Take, for example, if there has been a second marriage, a divorce, or a loved one with special needs. Estate planning also must consider if there is Medicaid eligibility, business succession planning to plan for, etc. It is important to note that properly prepared estate plan can minimize or even eliminate estate taxes.
In “normal” times, common estate planning tools include gifting and creating trusts. Again, do not be intimidated by the idea of a “trust.” A trust is simply a legal entity that holds assets for the benefit of others. Irrevocable trusts are generally drafted to make the assets immune to estate tax and, when applicable, to creditors. And unlike a straight gift, the trust terms dictate how and when the assets are distributed to the beneficiaries.
In order to understand why now is the perfect time to create, review, amend or enhance your current estate plan, you need to be aware of the following:
Gift and Estate Tax Exemptions
Gifts are transfers to either individuals or trusts and the gift giver is the one who is taxed, never the person (or trust) that receives the gift. At present, the federal gift tax exemption is likely the highest it may ever be – currently $11.98 million per individual. This means that a married couple can make lifetime gift totaling $23.16 million (combined) without incurring any federal gift tax.
The federal estate tax exemption is the same as the federal gift tax: $11.98 million per individual ($23.16 combined for married couples). Lifetime gifts are subtracted from this amount to calculate a person’s estate tax exemption. This exemption amount is expected to be lowered significantly after the November elections (no matter who wins) to recoup the billions of dollars being spent for COVID relief, which will leave many estates suddenly subject to an estate tax. This will occur as well on the state level, so it is very likely that our estates will soon be subject to either federal or state estate tax, or both.
It is important to note that New York State has an estate tax exemption of just $5,080,000.00 ($10,160,000.00 for couples). Right now, if the exemptions were to be lowered, many NY estates would be subject to NY estate tax..
Decrease in Valuation of Assets Is to Your Advantage
The valuation of the assets gifted or transferred to trusts is crucial in determining the amount of exemption used; the lower the better. Given the current state of the economy, the valuation of most assets is way down. Appraisers note that they are seeing valuations reduced by up to 50% for real estate.
And valuation discounts are increasing due to higher risk amid the current historic uncertainty. Valuation discounts are used together with appraisals to value commercial properties and business interests. Higher discounts further lower the asset value for gift and estate tax purposes.
Now is the time to take advantage of the high estate and gift tax exemptions, depressed asset values, and increased valuation discounts to create the perfect estate plan.
* This information is not intended as legal advice and should not be used or relied upon as such. It is provided for information purposes only. Please consult your legal, financial, tax, or other professional advisor.
Lois D. Sutton is an attorney whose practice area includes residential and commercial real estate, estate planning, wills and trusts, including Halachic wills and Halachic Health Care Directive/Living Wills, probate, and estate administration, and business matters. Contact her at 732 245-4500 or at Lsutton@loissuttonlaw.com.
Tishrei is called yerah ha’etanim – the month of the mighty. How can we tap into that awesome reservoir of power in order to better serve our purpose in This World?
As we all prepare for the High Holy Days, we get inspired by classes we hear, or by learning from some of the many sefarim that were written about them. Certainly, we increase our misvot, both in quantity and quality. We recite the selihot in order to awaken feelings of teshubah. We introspect on the past year and resolve to do better. These are all wonderful things, and they serve to put us in the proper frame of mind as we approach this crucial point of the year. But all of that can be compared to honing a tool preparatory to its use. Once the tool is sharp it must be used, or all that preparation will go to waste. We would do well to not only get inspired, but to enter Rosh Hashana with a concrete and long-term plan for success.
The Triple Triad
As we know, in the Torah everything is interconnected. The day, the year, our lives, indeed the entirety of history all combine to patterns within patterns. Each point not only serves its intended purpose but connects to the other points in order to create the larger picture. In this way, every piece of creation, every moment in time, is pointed toward the ultimate goal – increasing awareness in the world of the greatness of Hashem. Let us examine one small piece of that pattern.
It’s no accident that we have three separate holidays all in one month. Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur, and Sukkot are connected with each other to form the identity of The Month of the Mighty. To a certain degree, they are like one holiday. In addition, each of these three holidays has three major components, which all lead to each other. Let’s unpack that.
Rosh Hashana is the day when Hashem completed the creation of the world. It was the day of Adam Harishon’s creation: the jewel in the crown that is Olam Hazeh. This theme is reflected throughout the prayers of the day. Another major point, and one connected to the first, is that this is the day when we acknowledge Hashem’s rule over us. Before there were humans, there was no one to recognize our King, so the day of Man’s creation is also the day Hashem became King of the world.
The third, and most recognized, theme of Rosh Hashana is that it is the Yom Hadin. Commonly called a day of Heavenly judgment, a more accurate description is a day of accounting. Just as a business owner will periodically look over his inventory to see which products are performing up to expectation and which need to be improved, so does Hashem look over our year that passed and judge how well we have utilized the opportunities and resources that He provided us with.
Thought to Action
These three themes are in reality three stages of one overall theme, as follows. In every action that is taken, there are three stages: thought, speech, and action. If someone wants to build a building, he first has the idea of the building and the purpose it will serve. He then puts that idea into words or drawings, in order to set the details clearly and the steps needed to achieve his vision. The final stage is to execute those plans, bringing his original thought into reality. The creative idea is a limitless and expansive vision, while the setting down into details is of necessity a limiting and defining step, focusing the vision into something practical. After being defined clearly, only then can the vision become reality. If any of these three steps are missing, the desired result will not come to pass. This process is true with regards to anything that is accomplished in the world and can also be applied to the three major themes of Rosh Hashana. The core idea: the ultimate goal is that Hashem is the acknowledged Ruler of all creation. For that to happen, there must be a creation that can acknowledge Him, as well as an accounting of that creation to be sure that it is achieving its purpose. So, we have 1) Hashem as King (thought), 2) accounting of the world (speech), and 3) creation of the world (action). These are the three themes of Rosh Hashana, woven into one.
Yom Hakippurim
We find three major parts to Yom Hakippurim as well. The most obvious is in its name – the Day of Atonement. It’s when we are cleansed of all the mistakes we have made over the past year. Our souls are purified, and we are enabled to go out and serve Hashem without the past dragging us down.
The second part is a connection with Hashem unparalleled in its purity. On this day, and no other, the Holy of Holies is open for us to enter. On this day, and no other, we are like the angels. On this day, and no other, the Kohen Gadol utters Hashem’s name explicitly. On this day we spend all of our waking hours in shul, just connecting to Hashem.
The third, and often overlooked aspect of this day, is the giving of the Torah. Yom Kippur was the day that Moshe came down the mountain with the Second Luhot. The Tablets that were actually placed in the Ark in the Beit Hamikdash were given on this day. This was the culmination of the process begun four months prior, on Shavuot. So, again we have three themes, and they reflect the three of Rosh Hashana. 1) Hashem is the King of the world, so we spend an entire day serving and connecting to Him as such. 2) After the accounting of Rosh Hashana, when Hashem decides who will be able to continue serving Him, we come to the cleansing of Yom Kippur in order to prepare for and facilitate that service. 3) The creation of the world is only the beginning. The Torah gives detailed instructions on how to interact with that world, and how to serve Hashem thereby.
So, we see how themes of Yom Kippur are not only connected to those of Rosh Hashana, they are the details and focus of the vision that was expressed on that day. Yom Kippur is the “speech” to the “thought” of Rosh Hashana.
Hag Ha’asif
And now we come to Sukkot. Among the many names for this holiday is Hag Ha’asif – the Holiday of the Harvest. This is not a mundane harvest festival such as can be found on many farms, but rather is a time to actualize and gather in the results of all the hard work put in previously. It is the ‘action’ that comes after the thought and the speech. Let’s take a look.
Sukkot is the time when we leave our world and step into Hashem’s reality. It’s the time to actualize our trust in Him – shown by living in the sukkah. We don’t just talk about believing in Him, we take the action that is dictated by that belief. After declaring Hashem’s kingship on Rosh Hashana and connecting with Him on Yom Kippur, we take the next step of acting on that fact.
The second part, where Hashem weighs our actions then cleanses our mistakes, is reflected in what the hachamim call the “first day of the accounting of sins.” Sukkot is the first day after Yom Kippur that “counts” toward the year’s (hopefully limited) collection of mistakes. The four intervening days are designated for gearing up for the year’s work in service to Hashem.
The final portion of the theme of the High Holy Days is the “action” – the creation of the world and the giving of the Torah. This is expressed on Sukkot in how we pray for the sustenance of the entire world on this holiday. Both with the lulav and etrog, and the seventy bulls brought in the Beit Hamikdash, the rain, symbolizing the outpouring of Heavenly sustenance, is released.
What It Means for Us
What we see through all this is a clear and focused pattern of Hashem declaring His kingship and expecting us to take action to make that a reality. We can follow this same pattern in our own approach to these holy days. Instead of the generic “New Year’s resolutions,” we can come in with a plan. Each of us has his or her place in Hashem’s world, discernable by our unique talents and abilities. Rosh Hashana is a time to focus on those and dedicate them to serving Hashem as He wants. On Yom Kippur, when the errors of the past are wiped away, we can clearly see the best way to use those talents and resources for their intended purpose. And Sukkot, where plans become reality, is when we begin to implement those plans. In this way, when we come to Rosh Hashana 5782, it will be with the taste of this year’s inspiration still fresh, allowing us to build further still.
Long before the modern-day special education system was created, Shlomo Hamelech, in Sefer Mishle (22:6), recommended individualized instruction: “Teach the child according to His way.”
Many commentators explain this to mean that one should educate the child in Hashem’s way – the way He wants us to conduct our lives. But others explain this to mean that a child must be raised in his – the child’s – way. As the Stone edition of the Tanach writes, “…the effect of a proper upbringing is lifelong but in raising a child parents and teachers must take careful account of his ability and character.” No two children are the same, and so no two children should be educated in precisely the same way.
Rochelle Gemal, a”h, exemplified both meanings of this verse.
She dedicated her life to the service of Hashem through her innumerable acts of hesed, and by educating each and every person she taught according to His ways. And while she was taken from our world before we were ready to say goodbye, her legacy will live on in the state-of-the- art Rochelle Gemal A”H Special Education Learning Center and Resource Room at Yeshivat Keter Torah.
A Thirst for Knowledge
Together with her husband, Mitchell, Mrs. Gemal built a beautiful Torah family, and they were blessed with many grandchildren. Her daughter, Sara Bijou, relates that while growing up, she and her siblings had limited access to television, and by the time she was in high school, the television was gone. “Not for religious reasons,” Sara explains. “My mother just didn’t believe in it.” Instead, Mrs. Gemal spent hours reading to her children, and later to her grandchildren.
“We learned that education, and reading, in particular, was a fundamental value to my mom and influenced everything she did in her life,” Sara reflects.
Rochelle’s thirst for knowledge was evident in the sheer number of classes she attended. Rabbi Shlomo Diamond recalls how Rochelle attended his classes consistently for 40 years.
“In the beginning, she took copious notes which made the class better than it was,” Rabbi Diamond says. “She made xerox copies and shared them with her friends.” Later, she made cassette tapes and distributed them to friends in Deal and Brooklyn.
Mrs. Gemal’s daughter, Adele Cohen, recalls a story told by her grandmother. “Apparently, my mom loved school so much that when she was told she couldn’t go to school because she had the chicken pox, she cried and cried all day. My mom loved school so much, she always said she made it her ‘lifelong profession’.”
And what an illustrious profession it was, spanning 48 years, during which time Mrs. Gemal taught students of all ages, including newly-arrived Russian immigrants, in almost every educational institution in our community.
A Love for Knowledge
After graduating from Brooklyn College, Mrs. Gemal began her teaching career at Magen David Yeshiva in Brooklyn, where she was beloved by her students. In fact, when her daughter was approached to babysit, she was told by the mother looking to hire her, “You come with a great recommendation from my husband.”
“But I never met your husband,” the babysitter said, perplexed. “How could he recommend me?”
To that the woman replied: “Well, you are Mrs. Rochelle Gemal’s daughter, and she was my husband’s favorite teacher, so you come recommended!”
As much as Mrs. Gemal loved her profession and enjoyed teaching, her first priority was her own family. And so when the family moved to Deal, she did not immediately pursue a full-time teaching position. Her passion for teaching was satisfied in her position as a substitute teacher at Hillel, where her own children attended school. She also pursued her own educational goals by studying and receiving a license to teach special education.
She later began teaching at Ilan High School, where her versatility and vast knowledge allowed her to teach both AP courses as well as special education students. “Rochelle had the ability to bring out the best in all her students,” her husband, Mitchell, describes. “I watched her work with a student who was clearly having difficulty with the material. By the time she was finished, the child not only knew the material, but had a newfound confidence that Rochelle instilled.”
When she believed in you, you believed in yourself.
Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Reinman, who worked with Mrs. Gemal extensively at Ilan High School, and later, on several proofreading projects, says of her: “She had a relentless thirst for personal growth through knowledge. According to Rabbenu Yonah in Avot (4:1), the measure of a wise person is not how much knowledge he has accumulated, but how much he loves knowledge. Rochelle had knowledge, but even more important, she had great intellectual curiosity.”
Aside from teaching, Mrs. Gemal took on the role of proofreader “par excellence” of every yearbook and publication that the school produced. Mrs. Hena Diamond, principal at Ilan High School, describes Mrs. Gemal’s work as “meticulous, catching every mistake, be it grammar, context, font size, and more.”
But where Mrs. Gemal made the most impact was in her keen sensitivity to others. Mrs. Diamond says it most succinctly: “She had the intuition to be there for people in a deep and consistent way…in a way that they can gain true hizuk [encouragement].”
In a speech she gave to high school students about the importance of hesed, Mrs. Bonnie Mansour spoke of her “best friend,” Mrs. Gemal, and the “one small gesture that gave me the confidence to become who I am today.” That small gesture took place in the lunchroom at Boody Middle School in Brooklyn, and it was quintessential Rochelle – intuitive and sensitive. Seeing Bonnie, a fellow student who had just moved from out of town and looking a little lost, Rochelle, all of 14 years old, waved to Bonnie and patted the seat next to her, inviting her to sit with her and her friends, thus making her an established member of the group. It was this character trait that informed every aspect of Rochelle’s life and career as an educator.
“Powerhouse”
Side view of the Rochelle Gemal A”H Special Education Learning Center.
After working at Ilan for many years, Rochelle took on the role of support teacher at Yeshivat Keter Torah. She would enter a classroom and work alongside a student who needed extra guidance during the lesson. This allowed the student to remain in the classroom with his friends and peers, while receiving the extra coaching and assistance he needed.
Rabbi Aharon Yanai, the yeshiva’s menahel, describes Mrs. Gemal as a “powerhouse” dedicated and devoted to her students. “Education meant everything to Mrs. Gemal, a”h, and the students sensed her seriousness about learning and took their learning seriously because of that.”
Her message to the students was twofold: This is important, and you can do this.
The Rochelle Gemal Learning Center
Rendering of the future Yeshivat Keter Torah.
With her limitless devotion, commitment to her students and compassionate intuition, Mrs. Gemal created a legacy of learning that Yeshivat Keter Torah continues to embody. How befitting it is that the yeshiva is honoring the memory of this exceptional woman by establishing the Rochelle Gemal A’H Learning Center and Resource Room. The room will be designed to look and feel pleasant and fun for the student. Through its trained professionals, who will utilize individualized and small-group instruction, targeted assessments, multi-sensory learning, and strong teacher-student relationships to address the specific goals of the individual student, the Learning Center will enhance the academic and general growth of all its students.
“At Keter Torah, we passionately believe that every child can succeed,” says Mrs. Chaya Sima Wahrman, Director of Special Services at Yeshivat Keter Torah. “In the Learning Center, our goal is to provide each child with the tools he needs to attain the foundational skills necessary for academic success.”
Infusing our students with love and confidence.
Research shows that when a child has strong foundational skills, those learned in pre-school through third grade, he has the best chance of academic success. The Common Core Standards, developed in 2009 by state leaders, including governors and state commissioners of education, addressed the need to ensure that critical thinking skills, reasoning, skills, and evidence collection skills in both math and reading, were achieved. In the same way that we monitor an infant’s milestones in baby steps – crawling, standing, walking, running – foundational skills are milestones that every student should reach in grades pre-k to 3 in order to become a strong reader. The standards emphasize that when it comes to these foundational skills, “Instruction should be differentiated: good readers will need much less practice with these concepts than struggling readers will. The point is to teach students what they need to learn and not what they already know – to discern when particular children or activities warrant more or less attention.”
Without realizing it, this committee put into practice the advice of Shlomo Hamelech – “Teach every child according to his way.”
The Keter Torah faculty and administration are committed to identifying student challenges while they can still mold skills and make sure the basics are mastered. As Rabbi Yanai, menahel, explains, the assessment process is thorough and ongoing.
Small group instruction to facilitate hands-on learning of Alef-Bet and Nekudot.
“Each student is assessed for strengths and areas of challenge. For instance, a student may be strong in reading but requires support in math or vice versa, or a student may be strong in both but needs support for his reading comprehension. Our goal is to assist in areas that are needed while keeping the child in his regular class for all other subjects. This reduces the stigma sometimes associated with the resource room and does not compromise the child’s socialization with his peers. The child gets the message that ‘I have needs that need to be met, but I can still be part of the regular class’.”
Weekly assessment meetings are held by the classroom teacher and resource room professional working with the student. When it is determined that the student has mastered the necessary skills, he is mainstreamed back into the classroom. But not without the support he needs.
The Rochelle Gemal Tutoring Fund
To that end, the Gemal family is spearheading a second initiative that addresses the financial burden borne by the families of students requiring supplemental support, or tutoring, outside the resource room. Most tutors receive as much as $80 an hour, which can impose an extraordinary financial burden on a family already paying yeshiva tuition.
“Special education needs special attention, and no child should be denied the opportunity for success because of lack of funds,” Mr. Gemal explains. He says that Rochelle believed this and set a personal example of selfless devotion to help struggling students and their parents. “When Rochelle identified a student who was falling behind in class and in danger of being left back a grade, she would offer to tutor them in our home. Many times, knowing the family could not afford to pay, she would not charge them for her services. Her main concern was making sure the child succeeded.”
Following in the tradition of Mrs. Gemal a”h, her family has set out to create the Rochelle Gemal A”H Tutoring Fund. The model they envision is simple but ingenious – tutoring services for children who cannot afford the fees, provided by teachers or tutors requiring supplemental income.
“Our gemach [charitable fund], will not only give the parents who cannot afford the cost of tutoring the ability to provide their children with the much-needed support, but also address the parnasah needs of the families of teachers,” Mr. Gemal explains. “We help the child, his parents, and families that can use a few extra dollars to cover their expenses.” Truly a win-win-win situation.
The initial funding for the program will be endowed by the Gemal family, and it will be replenished by donations.
Rabbi Shlomo Diamond describes Rochelle as “a lady who in her quiet, modest way influenced so many others,” and who “left the world hidden, without any fanfare, and that was the way she was her whole life.” She was a woman deeply committed to education, knowledge, and personal growth, devoted to hesed and lovingkindness, and who lived by the guiding principle, “When you save one neshamah (soul), you save the world.” Her smile, her reassuring words, and her gracefulness, will be sorely missed. But through the Rochelle Gemal A”H Resource Room and the Rochelle Gemal A”H Tutoring Fund, her legacy of education and hesed will continue for many years to come.
Even when Mrs. Gemal became ill, she kept to her teaching schedule as best as she could. It was always a top priority for her. The following touching poem, presented to her by the administration, faculty, and students of Yeshivat Keter Torah, illustrates her singular dedication:
Each Tuesday and Thursday
And some Wednesdays, this year
Our school was so privileged
Because you were here
You’d peek into the classroom
And then kindly enter
Circulating to aid each student
In the front, back and center
With clarity you’d explain
Grammar, reading and math
You’d teach and elucidate
Setting each student on the right path
And so Mrs. Gemal,
We thought you should know
Our best wishes are with you
And WE MISS YOU SO!
Thank you for touching the lives of our students
An Opportunity to Share in this Mitzvah
Rabbis have taught us that providing funds for a child’s Torah education is considered an admirable outlet for a person’s ma’aser kesafim (charitable tithe). Anyone interested in sharing in this mitzvah and donate to the Rochelle Gemal A”H Special Education Learning Center, Resource Room, and Tutoring Gemach FUND, is invited to send an email to Mgemal@keter.org.
Last month, President Donald Trump visited Deal, NJ to attend a fundraiser at the estate of his late friend, Stanley Chera, a”h. The fundraiser took place on the Chera estate on Ocean Avenue.
Two days after Stanley Chera’s passing on April 11, Trump tweeted, “My deepest sympathies go out to Frieda Chera and the family of the late, great, Stanley Chera, one of Manhattan’s most brilliant real estate minds. Stanley was charitable, kind, and a wonderful friend. He will be truly missed!”
Trump supporters Victor Harary and Ray (Rocky) Antoki cheering for Trump.
President Trump landed in Marine One, the helicopter which transports the president, on a field of the public local school opposite the Park Avenue Synagogue. On the short drive to the Chera estate, Trump was met with an enthusiastic crowd waving pro-Trump signs along the way, as well as several protesters with anti-Trump signs. At 2pm, hours before Trump’s anticipated arrival, protesters for and against his administration squared off on either side of South Lincoln Avenue, trading chants – “Dump Trump!” and “Four more years!”
The event was closed to reporters, but an RNC official said the event raised over $5 million.
Senator Gounardes Announces Community-Led Graffiti Removal Program
Senator Andrew Gounardes partners with local precincts to remove graffiti.
Following the city’s cuts to the $3 million graffiti removal program, State Senator Andrew Gounardes announced a local volunteer initiative to remove graffiti. Gounardes’ program partners with the 61st, 62nd, 63rd, and 68th police precincts to take graffiti reports from residents and deploys community volunteers to clean up the graffiti. He encouraged all who notice graffiti to call his District Office number – 718-238-6044.
The program is part of his “3 for Community Initiative,” a volunteer program where southern Brooklyn residents commit to at least three acts of kindness or volunteerism each week. Through 3 for Community, Gounardes has led several community clean ups and neighborhood improvement projects.
“Keeping our neighborhoods clean is part of keeping them such great places to live. Every New Yorker – no matter their background – deserves to be able to enjoy our streets and open spaces. We have a responsibility to one another to maintain and improve our shared spaces so that we can ensure our community continues to thrive, no matter the circumstances,” said Senator Andrew Gounardes.
The Deal Misaskim Volunteers Need Your Help
The Misaskim delivery vehicle that has serviced the Deal Community has broken down beyond repair. There isn’t a shivah home in the area that hasn’t been provided for by the Misaskim volunteers of Deal in the past. They need to purchase a new truck and more equipment in order to continue servicing our community uninterrupted. If interested in giving a donation – go to the following link: https://www.rayze.it/deal2020or call 718 854 4548.
Rather than preparing ribs, you can use a brick or French roast, cut into rib-like cubes so they have the appearance of short ribs on the plate or in the serving dish. You’ll get more meat for the money, but then there’s no roast to slice! Everyone just takes a large “rib” or two.
This time we’re using the recipe that we use to prepare the pulled beef for our Pulled Beef
Tacos (this meat will also shred beautifully!), but you can use any rib recipe to prepare roast this
way!
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
5 pounds brick or French roast, cut into 3-inch cubes
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
4 garlic cloves, coarsely chopped
1 (16-ounce) can tomato sauce
1 cup house made barbeque sauce
1 cup beef stock
1/4 cup apple ci der vinegar
1/2 teaspoon ground mustard
Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit.
Heat oil over medium heat in a large, heavy, oven-safe pot or Dutch oven, and
brown the mock ribs on all sides, about 5 minutes, working in batches if
necessary. Sprinkle mock ribs with salt and black pepper as they brown. Transfer
cooked ribs to paper towels to blot up extra oil.
Stir in the garlic, and cook until fragrant, about 1 more minute. Mix in tomato
sauce, barbeque sauce, beef stock, apple cider, and mustard. Bring the sauce to a
boil, and simmer for 1 minute to blend flavors. Stir in the browned mock ribs.
Cover the pot, and bake in the preheated oven until the rib meat is very tender,
about 2 1/2 hours. Turn the ribs occasionally while cooking.
Season with salt and pepper.
At this point, you can remove the meat and reduce and sauce a bit (cook it over
medium-low heat) to let it thicken. Then return the meat to the pan and warm
when ready to serve.
Steve and Jennifer were actively pursuing the purchase of Sam’s home for nearly a year. Sam owned a desirable property and was clearly holding out to get his price. Eventually, Steve and Jennifer conceded to pay Sam’s price and in late February they shook hands and verbally committed to the deal. While the lawyers were preparing the final draft of the contract for the sale, the coronavirus spread throughout the Tri-State area. As soon as the couple internalized the potential financial effects of the pandemic, they notified Sam that they were reneging on their word to buy his property. Sam was flabbergasted by the turn of events. In Bet Din, he presented a list of three buyers that he turned away after Steve and Jennifer agreed to the deal. Sam claimed that these buyers were no longer available, and that one buyer already closed on another property. Steve and Jennifer expressed their potential financial hardships and were unwilling to commit to the purchase even at a lower price.
Are Steve and Jennifer required to keep their word and purchase the property? Is Sam entitled to compensation for his loss? How should the Bet Din rule and why?
An Important Notification
Due to the current COVID-19 crisis, many financial disputes have emerged and are presently being settled by qualified rabbinical courts around the globe. It is important for parties in dispute to submit their respective claims to competent halachic authorities. The laws governing a pandemic are detailed and complex, and only an experienced Bet Din with a broad knowledge of monetary law can rule accurately. The following article highlights only some of the research done for this case, as part of the information is too intricate to record and is beyond the scope of this article. Since no two cases are the same, it is not recommended to apply this ruling even to a similar case, as often minor details can substantially sway the outcome of a decision. Nevertheless, it is valuable for us to study the laws of the Torah and acquire a basic understanding of monetary laws that apply to a pandemic.
Torah Law
According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch the sale of real estate is final only after a contract is signed and funds are transferred. However, if a contract is not signed, a number of leading halachic authorities view the transfer of funds as a legal commitment to purchase a property. Hence, if either the buyer or seller renege after a deposit was transferred but a contract was not yet signed, a Bet Din will likely intervene.
The above ruling is applicable in instances in which a buyer and seller pursue the sale of real estate beyond the initial stage of a verbal commitment. In the absence of any binding form of transaction, legally both parties maintain the right to renege on a verbal agreement. Nevertheless, by rule of the Shulhan Aruch, one who defaults on a verbal commitment is viewed as untrustworthy. Breaking one’s word is considered unethical conduct and taints the reputation of the offender.
According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch a person is responsible to follow through with a sale once he gave his word, even if there is a fluctuation in the market price in the interim. Other leading halachic authorities rule in leniency and allow a party to renege on a verbal commitment if there is a fluctuation in price. Nevertheless, Jews of Sephardic origin are required to abide by the teachings of the Shulhan Aruch and are therefore restricted from breaking their word in such situations.
Notwithstanding, in certain remote instances one is permitted to renege on a verbal agreement. A pandemic that severely shifts the financial stability of a party provides exemption of any moral obligation to honor one’s word. Since it is beyond the shadow of a doubt that the verbal commitment was not extended under such extenuating circumstances, it is permitted for one to renege without suffering the repercussions of a tainted reputation. As per other instances in which one is permitted to back out of a deal after a verbal commitment, one is required to contact a Bet Din before acting.
Often, a party that reneges causes indirect damage to his counterpart. If such damages can be proven by a victim, the reneging party must provide compensation for the loss incurred. Nevertheless, in instances in which a reneging party is subject to circumstances beyond his control, no liability is imposed for damage caused. Hence, a potential buyer that reneges on a purchase because of COVID-19 is not responsible for the damages caused to the seller.
VERDICT: Everything Within Reason
Our Bet Din ruled in favor of Steven and Jennifer, allowing them to walk away from the purchase of Sam’s home without any financial or moral obligation. As mentioned in Torah law, in the absence of a signed contract and transfer of a deposit, a sale is not binding. Steven and Jennifer are therefore free of any financial obligation or penalty for reneging on their commitment to buy.
Furthermore, Steven and Jennifer were reneging on the deal because of a severe shift in their financial status as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. Unfortunately, the past five months were devastating for the couple as they lost their main source of income and suffered irreparable damage. Although verbally committing to buy generally represents a deep moral obligation, in such extenuating circumstances Steven and Jennifer’s moral obligation is waived. It is beyond the shadow of a doubt that in hindsight the couple would never have committed to purchase if they knew of their future financial misfortune.
Additionally, Sam is not entitled to compensation from the couple for his loss of time and opportunity with other potential buyers. Firstly, there was no guarantee any of the other potential buyers would have finalized a purchase. Furthermore, Steven and Jennifer reneged on the deal because of circumstances beyond their control. They are not liable for indirect damage caused by extenuating circumstances.
YOU BE THE JUDGE
A Cash Advance
Solomon extended a five-year loan of $200,000 to his brother-in-law Danny back in 2018. The terms of the loan included monthly payments of $5,000 for 60 months. Although the loan was extended to Danny’s LLC, Solomon required Danny to sign legal documentation making him personally responsible for the funds. After making his monthly payments for two years, Danny expressed concern that he is paying interest of $100,000 to Solomon over the course of their five-year agreement. Solomon dismissed Danny’s concern, explaining that money extended to a corporation is not subject to Jewish law restricting interest. The two appeared before our Bet Din for clarification of the law and signed on a binding of arbitration to comply with our ruling.
Can Danny continue to pay his monthly payments uninterrupted? If not, what is to be done with the balance of the funds owed? Is Solomon required to forfeit collecting money over the amount of $200,000 even though two years already passed? How should the Bet Din rule and why?
By the time you read this, I trust that you will feel comfortable with the reopening plans implemented by the schools your children attend. The COVID-19 environment is unpredictable. However, many concepts related to getting our children ready for school remain the same. Let’s take a look at the back to school (BTS) process for Fall 2020.
The BTS process is a challenging and essential undertaking that we go through every year. As parents, we plan and prepare for the new school year and wean ourselves off vacation mode along with our kids. We return to our school year schedules and create new routines and habits.
Since mid-March, our lives have been consumed by the pandemic and we are living a new normal. We are learning to live with uncertainty and have worked to turn adverse situations into opportunities.
Priorities and New Issues During These Times
This year, the #1 priority for parents, the government, and school administrators is keeping students and staff safe and the COVID-19 virus from spreading. The #2 priority is helping our children navigate the complex emotions they face about returning to school. The Novel Coronavirus has produced high levels of uncertainty that we have never faced before.
In normal times, pre-pandemic, there was a certain amount of anxiety, stress, or trepidation that children experienced about returning to school, starting a new grade, a new division, or a new yeshiva. During the pandemic, there are a host of additional issues to address and questions to answer for children and parents:
Will parents be able to go back to work?
How will my children get to and from school?
Will our kids be learning remotely or in person?
What will the classrooms look like? Will there be sufficient spacing?
Will the children have to wear face coverings all day?
Will all our kids’ classmates or friends be there?
Where will the students eat lunch?
Since all learning was remote for the last four months of the prior school year, some children may have struggled with virtual learning, fallen behind in their studies, craved the physical connection with other students, and now feel apprehensive about returning to school.
Our job as parents is to be able to reassure our children, respond to questions, and initiate a conversation to tap into how they are feeling about the new school year.
Allow me to provide some hizuk, encouragement. If you have been a parent for a number of years, you have been fine tuning your parenting skills. Please draw upon the stored resilience and experience you already have.
Please remember that we are not the only ones whose lives have been turned upside down. Our children are our heroes too! They could not play with friends or see their teachers, and they missed that vital physical and social connection that they experience in school.
Tips for Getting Ready for This School Year
Below are guideposts for you to review and use that hopefully will pave the way for a smoother BTS experience.
Prepare for the Transition – This year’s planning includes lots of contingencies, but as parents we need to provide focus, direction, and structure for our kids.
Ease your children and yourselves into waking up and going to bed earlier before it is time for your kids to go back to school. We all need to adjust to our new timetables and being well rested will support the entire family in getting back into the groove of school. Are you all set with school requirements for supplies, uniforms, and gear?
Stay Updated and Educated – If ever there was a time to stay well-informed, it is now. Researchers continue to learn more about the Novel Coronavirus. Stay educated about COVID-19 by consulting state and CDC guidelines and teaching your children how they can be in control by washing their hands, wearing face coverings, and keeping socially distant. You can ask for tips from your children’s pediatrician, school principals, and guidance counselors.
The NYC Department of Education has chosen a “blended learning” model for the fall, involving a combination of in-person and distance learning. Most students will attend in-person classes two or three days a week and learn online the other days. Social distancing and face coverings will be required, along with hand washing stations and new cleaning protocols. Families will have the option to choose all-remote learning, for any reason.
Most of our yeshivot prepared reopening plans for different scenarios based on the current health situation and in accordance with the statutory guidelines. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended that “school policies be flexible and nimble in responding to new information, and administrators must be willing to refine approaches when specific policies are not working.”
If the number of COVID-19 cases remains low, most yeshivot will likely follow either a full-time in-person schedule or a blended hybrid model of virtual and in-person learning. In-person learning can be based on a cohort model. Students are divided into cohorts or groups that remain together throughout the day.
Some schools are offering five days of in-person learning and others are offering three or four days of in-person with the other one or two days virtual. Reopening plans may also include a phased in approach, building up over several weeks to four or five days of in-person learning.
Plans include protocols created by medical experts and will require collaboration between the school, the students, and the parents to succeed. Procedures must be strictly followed if a child gets sick in school (parents must be vigilant about not sending children who do not feel well to school). Examples of other requirements are: Nurses will be on sight, a screening of students will take place upon arrival at school, there will be fewer students in each classroom appropriately distant from each other and wearing face coverings, plexiglass barriers may separate students from each other and students from the teacher, staggered lunch periods, no socializing near lockers, and more.
The common objectives of school reopening plans are to ensure the safety and health of the students and staff and uphold the schools’ core educational standards and values.
We also have to be prepared for the possibility of an uptick in COVID-19 cases, which would mean our children would be sent home for five days of virtual learning.
Listen and Validate – Practice active listening and validate your children’s feelings, fears, and anxieties. Listening has become a lost art. Listen to what they are saying and perhaps not saying (their unspoken feelings). Help them articulate their emotions. If your children do not ask questions about COVID-19, you can start the conversation. Allow them to talk about their worries and really listen and address those worries before school starts. Inquire about their expectations for the new year. Yes, there are lots of questions that you do not have answers to. Be patient, be honest, and help them feel safe. For example, when talking to young children, you can say, “it’s normal to feel sad or scared.”
Be truthful but make sure your responses are age appropriate. Be mindful about over-sharing. Limit your children’s screen time and exposure to media. Be calm when you talk about the pandemic. Kids are smart and can read our facial expressions and tone of voice.
Be a Positive Role Model – Being positive and practicing gratitude are tools that are even more important than usual in response to the pandemic. Be mindful of modeling an optimistic approach with your children.
Our kids take their cues from Mom and Dad. If you are stressed or appear anxious or frightened, the kids will pick up on it. Communicate hope and be confident but avoid making promises you cannot keep.
Take a few minutes and ask your children to list three things that they are grateful for in the morning or evening. You can do it as a family at breakfast or dinner. The kids will be surprised about how many good things they still have in their lives and so will you!
Practice Flexibility and Resilience – Other key principles in our parenting toolbox include resilience and flexibility. As parents, we need to practice self-care and put on our own oxygen masks first. If we get overwhelmed and burnt out, we will not be there for our families.
Flexibility is one of the fundamental rules of positive parenting. Do not get stuck on ‘musts’ and ‘shoulds.’ If something is not working do not be afraid to change it.
Children learn a lot from their parents’ resilience, mainly when they see how their mothers and fathers tackle adversity and uncertainty.
It is so important to apply calmness, kindness, and consistency in responding to our children’s fears, particularly in these uncertain times.
The future is uncertain. What is certain is that, bezrat Hashem, our children will be learning once the school year begins, albeit in circumstances that cause significant challenges for all of us. Focus on the positive with your kids, and remind them that everything, including what will be with school and COVID-19, is in Gd’s hands.
Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).
My newly widowed sister-in-law says she doesn’t want to come to us for the holidays this year due to her fear of COVID-19. We do not know what to do. We are not sure if she’s being honest and really just wants to be alone – or if we should insist that she join us.
Would it be considered disrespectful if we continue to invite her? She doesn’t have anywhere else to go to for the holidays. How can we make her realize that we really want and enjoy her company without making her feel bad if she really doesn’t want to come?
Signed,
Distancing Socially
Dear Concerned-In-Law,
Firstly, your sister-in-law must be made to understand that what you are offering is a sincere invitation because you enjoy her company and want her to continue to feel part of the extended family, not just because you feel sorry for her/your loss. Losing a spouse, or any family member, especially so soon before the holidays, can be devastating and disorienting; knowing that she has people who love her and welcome her is both comforting and uplifting.
She is not alone in her concern about a possible “second wave” of Covid infections. Many community leaders are cautioning us about letting down our guard too quickly. For this reason, her refusal might be consistent with her overall behavior irrespective of her new status. From that standpoint, you must accept her desires and see if there are other ways to “embrace” her. Perhaps, sharing some of your prepared foods or sending a special gift will make her feel that, circumstances aside, she always has a place at your table.
You might also be able to assure her that you will take all necessary precautions to make sure she is able to socially distance herself from other family members while still sharing in the holiday spirit.
These are strange times. Pesach was different for everyone. Let us hope that the New Year will bring an end to this magefah and that we will all be written for a year of health and happiness.
