This meal just screams summer! Nothing better than these beer-battered fish tacos. I always pair them with avocado corn salad and coleslaw.
Beer-Battered Fish
1. Use either flounder or tilapia and cut into strips.
2. For the batter start by combing all-purpose white flour with seasonings. I like to use chili lime spice. Or you can season with salt, garlic powder, and paprika instead.
3. Add in any beer you have on hand until your batter reaches the consistency of pancake batter. You do not want it to be runny. It should be more on the thicker side.
4. Marinate the fish until you’re ready to fry them.
Avocado Corn Salad
1. Roast a bag of frozen corn. Lay the corn (no need to defrost) on a tray sprayed with Pam.
2. Drizzle 1 tbsp. oil on top, and season with 1 tsp. salt and 1/2 tsp. garlic powder. Mix it all together. Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for around 35 minutes until the kernels look nice and roasted.
3. Now for the red pepper. You can use the jarred ones but I always prefer to make them myself. Cut a red pepper in half the long way. Take out the seeds and bake face-down on a tray lined with parchment paper. Bake at 450 degrees for around 20 minutes until the outer skin starts to get black and blistery. Cool and then peel off the skin. It comes off very easily. Cut the roasted pepper into small pieces.
4. Mix all ingredients together (you won’t need all the corn – leave the rest to snack on). You can also add in a seeded cubed jalapeño pepper for a little extra heat.
5. Dress the salad with 1/2 cup lemon juice, 2 tbsp. olive oil, 1 tsp. salt, 2 tsp. garlic powder, and 2 tsp. cumin.
Coleslaw
Make a basic coleslaw. I use the ready-bagged coleslaw mix and dress it with 1/2 cup mayonnaise, 1 tbsp. sugar, 1 tbsp. white vinegar, 1 tsp. salt, and my secret (or not-so-secret) ingredient is 1 tsp. celery seeds. Mix together and let it marinate until you’re ready to assemble!
Taco Shells
You can use a regular corn taco shells but I like to make my own. I use my favorite tortilla wraps and put them in the oven in between the oven racks to make the taco shell shape.
Bake wraps at 350 degrees for around 15 minutes until they start to harden.
Now assemble your tacos right before serving and enjoy!
Sarah Husney is a food photographer servicing NY & NJ. She has clients from the food businesses in the community upgrading their photos for Instagram and websites. She also takes photos for restaurants on UberEats, and is featured on Kosher.com for styling and photography. Contact info: 917 626 2991 / @sarahhusney_foodphoto.
I hope you are enjoying summer and staying cool. This month, I would like to bring you into the world of valuing a house. How do agents decide how much your house is worth?
Tailoring a Home’s Valuation
I do not price a home using the CRM (Customer Relationship Management) system. Many brokers do. They input the information into the computer system, and it spits out a price. Every broker has a system that works for them.
I recently met a seller, and I priced their home at $1 million. They told me that another broker had told them it was worth $937K, which is an oddly specific number. The broker had put the information into the CRM, which analyzes data of other homes that were recently sold in the area. If a house sold three blocks away for less, but it was backing the train or was on a less desirable block, the system does not take those things into account. CRM will price your home for less and the opposite can happen, too. A seller has to check the price and see if it makes sense.
One of the more difficult parts of a selling a home is figuring out what a home’s value is and being confident in the value you named.
Sometimes I think a home is worth a certain price, but I’ll give wiggle room in the asking price and will be surprised by what is offered. But sometimes I’ll see a house that is amazing, but 40 showings later it’s still on the market. I gave an educated valuation, but these are not always perfect.
Factors to Consider for Pricing
Every house is both different and the same. Many sellers have something in their house that they love and think raises their home’s value, but this is not necessarily true. Buyers might not care to renovate and may not need all the finishes. What may be something positive to you, and therefore increases the price in your eyes, may not be something that everyone cares about.
I educate the seller about what actually determines the value of a home. I speak about lot size, build, and most importantly what is currently available and what has recently sold.
Just because your neighbor sold a similar home for a certain amount three years ago does not mean you can get the same price. The market is at two different places.
I met with a seller a while back and they ended up going with an agent that priced the home a lot higher than what it was worth. It was a four bedroom, with no third floor. The asking price was $3 million. Down the block was a ground up construction asking for $3.1 million. Their house did not sell.
Brokers need to educate sellers. What’s on the market? What’s on the market and isn’t moving? What is selling?
I analyze the market weekly to keep my finger on the pulse. I check out what sold, what’s in contract, and in what area. Once I show the seller how I valued their home and why, we give it a bit of wiggle room, launch the house, and see how the market reacts.
For example, if we launch a house, with a full marketing work up plus advertising and three weeks go by without an offer, we go back to the drawing board and readjust the price.
When you sell your home, ask questions. Ask how the realtor decided on that price. Perhaps your home is actually worth more or less. Do not let brokers just pull a number out of a hat. I love it when sellers want to know more and I am sure other brokers love it, too. Stay curious!
Fun Fact
$1M home values are becoming more common. The number of cities where the typical home values are at least $1M has grown 51% over the last five years. 218 cities are deemed “million-dollar cities” according to Zillow. It’s interesting because the “mansion tax” is 1% of the purchase price of a home over $1M. I don’t know about outside of Brooklyn, but these days there is nowhere in the area I service where you can get a “mansion” for $1M. I think the city needs to reevaluate what they consider a mansion, lol!
I’m always worried about what other people think of me. I would like your advice on how to stop myself from seeking the validation of others.
I have read many articles about not caring what others think, but it has not really helped much. Sometimes I do things that I truly believe are right and best for me, but my close friends or family members strongly disagree and they let me know it (in a harsh manner).
I feel anxious about it even though I know the only opinion that matters is my own. How do I stop my thoughts from constantly being worried about what my friends think, even though I know that what I’m doing is right for me?
Signed,
Thinking of Me
Dear Thinking of You,
Several months ago, a mother wrote in with a question of whether it was proper for her to stop her young son from associating with another boy who was always putting him down. My advice to her was that her son needs to be with friends who are going to make him feel good about himself.
Ditto for you. How?
Our Sages tell us “Aseh lecha rav u’koneh lecha chaver” (Pirke Avot 1:6). Find someone who is going to advise you and guide you. Someone you consider to be wise. Maybe even just street smart. Secondly, surround yourself with friends who enjoy being with you, those who share your interests, hobbies, and outlook.
Interestingly, the end of that particular Mishnah ends with the advice to judge all people favorably. The modern expression that everyone uses today, usually attributed to the Chafetz Hayim, is “If you have nothing good to say, say NOTHING.” Encourage your family and other nay-sayers to try to follow this important dictum.
Here are two other great, simple ways to feel better about yourself (even if you are spending a little too much time thinking about it). Number One – smile at others. It automatically lifts your
spirits and creates an instant bond between people. Number Two – focus on things that you KNOW you do well (even to those who might think otherwise). Build little successes every day.
In the final analysis, you are not here on earth to impress others. And as Rabbi Avigdor Miller, zt”l, used to say, “What do you care what others think about you? Hashem knows how good or bad you are.” That’s all that matters.
The pasuk in Tehillim (126:1) says, “When Hashem redeems us from this exile, it will feel like a dream.” Sometimes, when a person has a dream, the situation looks dreadful and he feels very frightened. But then he wakes up and realizes that there was nothing of which to be afraid. Similarly, the troubles we endure in this world appear dreadful, but one day they will all be “like a dream,” we will “wake up” and realize that there was never anything to fear.
In fact, as the next verse says, “our mouths will then be filled with laughter.” We will see not only that our troubles were nothing to fear, but that they weren’t troubles at all, and that they were actually the greatest things that could have happened to us. And upon achieving this recognition, our mouths will exultantly sing praises to Hashem, thanking Him for everything we went through in life. At that time we will understand why that shidduch did not work out, why it took that girl so long to get married, why that couple could not have children for so many years, and why that woman miscarried. It will become so clear to us how everything that happened was an expression of Hashem’s immense love and compassion for us that we will erupt in joyous song and dance.
The Yalkut Shimoni (Eichah remez 997) writes that the future redemption will come in reward for our emunah; our faith is what will bring Mashiah. What kind of emunah will bring our redemption? Rav Elchanan Wasserman describes this faith as follows: The belief that Hashem is controlling everything and nothing happens by chance. The Ya’aros Devash (1:1) writes that this refers to accepting the way Hashem deals with us lovingly and without complaint.
How does one know if he has succeeded in implanting this firm belief within himself? He knows by his reaction to the challenges in life. A person who believes that Hashem’s only interest is to benefit us and He always does the best thing for us will be able to endure painful situations with a smile. If we know someone is doing something beneficial for us, we will even be willing to pay them to do something that causes us pain.
I reflect upon this point every time I have my teeth cleaned. The dentist is scraping my teeth, causing discomfort, pain, and bleeding, but I am happy to go through with it and even pay for the experience. People pay to sit with nutritionists who severely restrict their diets, and they’re happy to do it, knowing how beneficial this is for them. Weightlifters endure a great deal of pain, but they do so happily, recognizing how it benefits them.
I heard a comparison drawn to someone who saw a person leave the courtroom singing and bouncing with joy. He asked the person why he was so happy, and the man told him that he just paid $10,000. “Why are you so happy if you just paid $10,000?” the man asked. “Because I was sued for $10 million.”
This is precisely the way we should view our issurim (suffering). If there’s a leak in the roof and it costs $1,000 to fix it, he should rejoice, knowing that this was caused by Hashem Who always has only our best interests in mind. And he should thus pay the money with joy. We need to have this simple faith that everything Hashem does is for our benefit.
A person told me the other day that one of his workers stole a great deal of cash from the store and ran away. The man said that in the past, he would have lost his mind in frustration and anguish, but now, because he has worked on strengthening his emunah, he fully accepted that this is what Hashem wanted and it must therefore be the best thing that could have happened to him. If a person stubs his toe he should realize that it had been decreed in the heavens that this would happen, and there is thus no reason to feel upset.
It is difficult for us to imagine the merit we earn by accepting misfortune with love. We don’t always have the answers for why things happen the way they do, but if we strengthen our emunah then Hashem will bring Mashiah, and we will then rejoice and our mouths will be filled with laughter, as we will understand why everything happened as it did.
The international scientific community has produced a series of remarkable studies relating to plants. According to their research, the world of plants – which outwardly appears devoid of senses and feelings – is not what we imagine it to be. Plants actually have a rich emotional life and highly developed senses, and are even capable of expressing a wide range of emotions, including, but not limited to, pain, fear, and joy.
Do Plants Have Feelings?
A major comprehensive summary of these findings appeared in the book The Secret Life of Plants by Peter Tompkins and Christopher Bird, which was first published in 1973 and subsequently released in numerous editions, garnering a major audience and generating tremendous interest. This book, and others that followed, have revealed spectacular insights into the hidden world of flora. Renowned scientists now confirm without a doubt that plants have emotions and feelings, and that they are able to understand and be understood by the world around them.
We begin with a scene from The Secret Life of Plants:
In a lab, located in the City of Westminster, there is an unfortunate carrot strapped to the table of an unlicensed vivisector. Wires pass through two glass tubes full of a white substance; they are like two legs, whose feet are buried in the flesh of the carrot. When the vegetable is pinched with a pair of forceps, it winces. It is so strapped that its electric shudder of pain pulls the long arm of a very delicate lever which actuates a tiny mirror. This casts a beam of light on the frieze at the other end of the room, and thus enormously exaggerates the tremor of the carrot. A pinch near the right-hand tube sends the beam seven or eight feet to the right and a stab near the other wire sends it far to the left.
This amazing description was cited from the British magazine, Nation, reporting on discoveries revealing that plants inhabit a rich world full of senses and feelings. The specific experiment cited by Nation was the work of Sir Jagdish Chandra Bose, researcher of international renown and one of the pioneers of research in the field of plantlife. Bose had been studying plant responses to various stimuli in their environment by the end of the 19th century, and one day, a bold idea entered his head. He placed a crescograph – a device he had invented for measuring growth in plants – upon the leaves of a plant in his research area. The results were incredible! Not believing what he had found, Bose tried his experiment again and again to ensure that his discoveries were accurate. It became clear to Bose that plants responded to various kinds of contact and experience in the same manner as other living creatures. From that moment forward, Bose dedicated himself to investigating his findings, revealing that many plants and vegetables express sensations in ways that are measurable by science.
When he first reported his research results to the British scientific community, his colleagues found it difficult to comprehend – this despite the fact that Bose’s research had been performed with impeccable scientific precision. But after Bose personally presented his findings to the chief British scientific institutions, the scientific establishment had no choice but to accept his discoveries, evoking tremendous excitement.
Bose was invited to demonstrate his findings before the members of the Linnean – the society of scientists in London. The most respectable professors of the Linnean could not believe what they saw: a special magnifying system showed a cabbage leaf cringe in agony as it was being boiled to death. They saw a radish grow “exhausted” just like a muscle and then become “angry” as if it had a nervous system. They witnessed how a tremble passed through a vegetable at the moment of “death,” in the same way that a dying creature shudders in the seconds before its life ends.
In the wake of his demonstration, Bose received funding to launch a research institution of his own, and received an honorary degree for his work.
Decades later, the scientific establishment in what was then the Soviet Union also recognized that plants have feelings that can be expressed in a clear manner. In 1970, the leading Russian newspaper Pravda announced in an explosive headline:
“Plants Speak. Yes, They Shout! Only to Avoid Embarrassing People Do They Keep Their Pain to Themselves.”
In the article attached to the headline, Vladimir Chertkov, one of the most important journalists at Pravda, described in vivid detail his visit to the climate laboratory at the famous Moscow Agricultural Academy, Timiriazev. Among other things, he recalled a sheaf of wheat crying out in terror as its roots were boiled in steaming water. A highly sensitive electronic meter, similar to an EKG utilized for measuring human heartbeats, registered each and every cry of the plant, as red ink jumped across rolls of white paper. Chertkov also described Russian experiments suggesting that plants could comprehend signs sent to them from their environment and were able to offer signs of their own to the world around in return. These were incredible discoveries, marvels of the world of modern science aided by highly sensitive, delicate electronic devices.
But now I want to ask a question.
Before the invention of electricity and highly complex sensory equipment, could it have been possible for someone to have known this amazing secret of nature – to say with complete confidence that plants experience feelings and pain that force them to cry out in tiny unheard voices?
About 1,500 years ago, when the Oral Torah was being transcribed, the following teaching was recorded in the Midrashic text, Pirkei d’Rabbi Eliezer (Chapter 34):
“When a tree is felled, its voice travels from one end of the earth to the other, though it is not heard.”
How could these teachers of Torah have known a secret of nature that was only recently discovered by means of complex electronic devices?
Throughout its history, the Jewish people have always known the answer: The One who created the world knows the mysteries and secrets of creation, and every detail He deemed appropriate to reveal in the Written or Oral Torah has been preserved and passed on by the sages from generation to generation.
Let us suggest that despite their many advances, scientific discoveries are still in their “infancy.” The electronic devices that exist today are primitive when compared to the Torah’s understanding. Modern-day equipment does not have the ability to measure the distance that the voice of a chopped tree can travel. Yet, the Creator of the world revealed it to us: The voice of the tree travels around the entire globe.
(Let me state the obvious here: The pain and suffering of plants is not exactly like that of other living creatures. Rather, what was discovered were particular frequencies which are similar in form to emotional responses. For this reason, we don’t find a Torah prohibition against causing plants suffering, as we do regarding other living creatures.)
Can Plants Perceive?
Another important section from The Secret Life of Plants describes how the incredible world of plants was discovered “accidentally” in another part of the world – this time in the United States.
In 1966, Cleve Backster, an American expert in the use of polygraphs (lie detector machines), decided to attach a polygraph machine to a plant in his office as he watered it. To his utter amazement, the needle on the polygraph jumped in a manner similar to a person who had become mildly excited. The slightly dismayed expert wanted to check if he would be able to create stronger reaction and he decided to burn the plant. Before he could even say a word about his plan, let alone put it into action, the needle of the polygraph shot up dramatically. The plant was behaving just like a person being tested and exhibiting a strong emotional response. Apparently, the plant was able to perceive the approaching danger more than if it could if it had human eyes.
This was only the beginning. The American expert dropped all his other pursuits and dedicated himself to experiments concerning plants and their stunning mysteries. “I soon discovered that plants can see better without eyes, and sense better without a nervous system,” he said.
Cleve Backster is a best known for his experiments with biocommunication in plant and animal cells using a polygraph machine in the 1960s which led to his theory of “primary perception.” He reported observing that a polygraph instrument attached to a plant leaf registered a change in electrical resistance when the plant was harmed or even threatened with harm. He argued that plants perceived human intentions, and as Backster began to investigate further, he also reported a finding that other human thoughts and emotions caused reactions in plants that could be recorded by a polygraph instrument. He termed the plants’ sensitivity to thoughts “primary perception,” and published his findings from the experiments in the International Journal of Parapsychology.
Backster then formulated a “blind” test, devoid of all human intervention, in order to exclude the possibility that the experimenter was somehow influencing the polygraph needle. He assembled a special device that randomly spilled the contents of various containers into a pot of boiling water every few minutes. Some of the containers held water, the others goldfish. Three types of philodendron were placed alone in a room with these containers and connected to a galvanometer, a device used for measuring weak electric signals.
The results of this experiment were startling. Each time the fish were poured into the pot of boiling water, all the plants responded as if in great distress.
This discovery created a stir in the scientific world and resulted in worldwide recognition for Backster. Thousands of scientists requested printed results of his work, and researchers throughout America began to speculate about potential uses of his findings.
This brings us to a teaching from the sages, which describes how one of our great rabbis understood plants’ ability to perceive, and reveals his deep understanding of plants’ emotional intelligence:
There once was a date tree that stood in the village of Hammatan that never produced fruit. People tried grafting [other date shoots] onto it, but still there was no fruit. Rabbi Tanhuma said to them, ‘This date tree sees the fronds of another date palm in Jericho and longs in her heart for them.’ The people brought some of the fronds to the date tree and grafted them on, and it produced fruit right away. (Midrash Rabbah, Bamidbar 3:1)
There is a phenomenon well-known to horticulturists: A climbing vine that is working its way towards the closest post will change its direction if someone moves the post. How is this possible? If we accept the premise that plants can see or sense their surroundings, this phenomenon can now be understood.
It is important to note the official explanation for this phenomenon from the world of botanical researchers: “Climbing plants send out tendrils that turn in ever widening circles (or that sway from side to side), until they encounter some object around which they then wrap themselves. If the object is moved or removed before the tendrils are able to wrap themselves well, they return to their previous movements, until they wrap themselves around a nearby object.”
Science, however, knows only how to describe events, but not why they happen. It has no tools to explain the ultimate goal of a plant’s movement – whether it is blindly seeking whatever it may find, or willfully moving itself towards something it desires. According to the sages (as well as recent scientific discoveries), the second explanation may indeed make more sense.
If, however, you still doubt that plants have feelings that motivate them, take careful notice of the following account.
Are Plants Affected by Love and Attention?
It is hard to believe that bestowing love and attention upon plants can cause them to grow, but this is the conclusion reached by scientists after extensive research. According to various studies, plants have an inexplicable ability to sense what is happening around them and respond in a sophisticated manner. Here is an example from The Secret Life of Plants, describing the research of Marcel Vogel, a chemist from California:
He asked one of his friends, a clinical psychologist, who had come to see for himself if there was any truth to the plant research, to project a strong emotion to a philodendron 15 feet away. The plant surged into an instantaneous and intense reaction and then, suddenly, “went dead.” When Vogel asked the psychologist what had gone through his mind, the man answered that he had mentally compared Vogel’s plant with his own philodendron at home, and thought how inferior Vogel’s was to his. The “feelings” of Vogel’s plant were evidently so badly hurt that it refused to respond for the rest of the day; in fact, it sulked for almost two weeks.
In the next stage, after dozens of experiments that proved a connection between plants and their surroundings, Vogel reached the point where any strong emotions he felt would be immediately mirrored by the plants, even when they were at a distance. The following experiment, reflecting this accomplishment, was performed by one of Vogel’s colleagues:
Back in her garden, Vivian Wiley picked two leaves from a saxifrage, one of which she placed on her bedside table, the other in the living room. “Each day when I get up,” she told Vogel, ‘I will look at the leaf by my bed and will that it continue to live; but I will pay no attention to the other. We will see what happens.”
Dr. Vogel was a research scientist for IBM’s San Jose facility for 27 years. In the 1970s Vogel did pioneering work in man-plant communication experiments. His experiments helped prove that plants have an inexplicable ability to sense what is happening around them.
A month later, she asked Vogel to come to her house and bring a camera to photograph the leaves. Vogel could hardly believe what he saw. The leaf to which his friend had paid no attention was flaccid, turning brown and beginning to decay. The leaf on which she had focused daily attention was radiantly vital and green, just as if it had been freshly plucked from the garden.
The sages also reveal that plants experience feelings of shame. The Jerusalem Talmud (Orlah 1:3) discusses an agricultural technique called havrachah, which entails the bending and planting of a branch into the ground until it takes root, at which time it is severed from the mother tree and allowed to grow on its own. The rabbis term the original tree an “old lady” and the new tree, a “child”:
How does the tree owner know [that the “child” has taken root, such that he may now sever its connection with the “old lady”]? If the leaves of the “child” are turned toward itself, it is clear that it lives on account of the “old lady.” If the leaves are turned toward the “old lady,” it is clear that the “child” lives on its own accord, for a person who lives off of his friend is embarrassed to look him in the face.
Can Plants Hear?
We have already seen that plants are aware of what is happening around them. But can they hear, as well?
Dr. T. S. Singh, Head of the Department of Botany at Annamalai University in India, asked this very question in 1950 after hearing rumors that plants that were played music to grew faster and better. Seeking proof to substantiate this claim, Singh set up a scientific lab that contained a variety of normal, healthy plants of about the same age, and had a device play tones from three different instruments at a fixed distance from the plants. The results were startling: These plants grew and produced seeds at an above average rate.
After a series of experiments confirmed these findings, a number of farmers tried applying this technique to their crops. They recorded pleasant music and played it on loudspeakers for an hour each day in fields bearing six different strains of rice. The resulting harvests were 25-60 percent greater than the normal yield.
Peter Benton, a staff member of the Canadian Department of Agriculture, tried applying the results of these experiments to help corn crops battle insect infestation, which usually resulted in heavy damage. He recorded sounds similar to those of bats and played them in the fields. The fields were rapidly cured of the intruders.
However, if these researchers thought that their efforts would increase the full complement of crops around the world, they were wrong. It turns out that certain types of music that promote the growth of one strain of plant decrease the growth rate of another. Science has still not been able to solve the mystery of the individual tonal preferences of plants.
The Talmud also speaks about the effect of sound on plants.:
The person who [cut the plants used for incense in the Temple] would say, ‘Grind it well, grind it well!’ because the sound improves the spices.
On the other hand, Rabbi Yochanan said that while the sound is good for plants, it can actually damage wine, which improves far better when it sits in a quiet place. (Keritut 6b)
In 1950, Dr. T. S. Singh conducted experiments that proved that plants that were played music to – grew faster and produced seeds at an above average rate. Farmers who recorded pleasant music and played it on loudspeakers for an hour each day had harvests that were up to 60 percent greater than the normal yield!
Plants Can Communicate!
A more recent discovery, based upon studies conducted in California, Japan, and Germany since 1996, is that plants have a sophisticated chemical language through which they communicate not only with members of their own species, but also with different types of plants, and even with insects.
For instance, when scientists clipped leaves of a sagebrush plant in a way that mimicked the damage caused by insects, the plant released a puff of a chemical called methyl jasmonate. Tobacco plants growing downwind picked up on the chemical and immediately began boosting their own level of an enzyme that makes their leaves less tasty to insects. These tobacco plants suffered 60 percent less damage from grasshoppers and caterpillars than tobacco plants situated next to unclipped sagebrush.
More recently, scientists at Kyoto University in Japan let spider mites loose on lima bean plants and tracked the plants’ responses. They found five different defense mechanisms. First, each injured plant released a chemical that changed its flavor, making it less attractive to the mites. Then, the plants released other chemicals that drifted away. Other lima bean plants received the chemical and immediately began giving off the same chemicals, making them less tasty and warning still more lima bean plants, before the mites had even reached them. Most amazingly, some of them released chemicals which summoned a whole new batch of mites, those which actually eat the spider mites attacking the lima bean plants.
These amazing discoveries of plant language, at the cutting edge of botanical research, were already known to the Jewish sages thousands of years ago.
The Ramban, in his introduction to his commentary on the Torah, wrote:
King Solomon, of blessed memory, to whom Gd gave both wisdom and knowledge, knew everything in the Torah. In fact, his grasp of the Torah was so deep that he understood the secrets of all things, including the language of plants, the language of trees and roots, and all things both hidden and revealed. He discovered all this through the study of Torah and its commentaries and teachings.
Additionally, the Talmud describes the wisdom of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai, the leading sage in the Land of Israel in the first century CE: “Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai knew every part of the Tanach, Mishnah, Gemara, Halachot…, astronomy, numerical calculations, the language of the angels, the language of the spirit world, and the language of the trees…” (Sukkah 28a).
Indeed, plants do have a language and can communicate – a fact revealed by Gd through His Torah millennia ago!
Rabbi Zamir Cohen is the founder of the Hidabroot organization and has written several books on the topics of Jewish thought and law, including his national bestseller, The Coming Revolution.
One day, while having coffee in an Upper East Side café, two elderly women were overheard talking.
First woman: “What did you do to your hair? It looks like a wig!”
Second woman: “Actually, it is a wig.”
First women: “Really?! You’d never know it.”
Jack V. Grazi
Homework Helper
Teacher: Jacob, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Billy: No, teacher. It’s just the same dog!
R. G.
Tax Talk
As income tax time approaches, did you ever notice that when you put the two words “THE” and “IRS” together it spells “THEIRS”?
Arlene R.
The Bakery Sign
After starting a new diet I altered my drive to the gym to avoid passing my favorite bakery. I accidentally drove by the bakery this morning and as I approached, there in the window were a host of goodies. I felt this was no accident, so I prayed: “If it was Divinely destined that I should have any of those delicious goodies, show me a sign in the form of an empty parking space right on the block of the bakery.”
And sure enough, my prayers were answered… On the eighth time around the block, there it was!
Jonathan F.
Saudi-Con
Q: What do you call a first-time offender in Saudi Arabia?
A: Lefty!
Raquel B.
That’s Nuts
Q: What is the only nut without a shell?
A: A donut!
Susan C.
Worth Stewing Over
A man walked into an old-looking restaurant and sat down. The waitress came over and asked, “What’ll you have?” “I’d like a plate of stew and a kind word,” the man replied.
The waitress brought his stew a few minutes later and as she put it down, the man asked, “How about the kind word?”
“Oh yeah,” the waitress said, “don’t eat the stew!”
Sam S.
Wisdom of the Times
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them?
Working for Gd on earth does not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world.
Ron E.
National Colors
An American and a Dutchman were talking.
“What does your flag look like?” asked the American.
“It has three stripes,” replied the Dutchman, “red, white, and blue. We say they have a connection with our taxes – we get red when we talk about them, white when we get out tax bills, and we pay them until we’re blue in the face.”
“That’s just how it is in my country,” replied the American, “only we see stars, too!”
Yona F.
Keeping Busy
Q: What’s the nicest thing about meditation?
A:. It makes doing nothing quite respectable.
Jack V. Grazi
The Bathtub Test
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director for the criteria by which a patient is institutionalized.
“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”
“Oh, I understand,” said the visitor. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.
“No,” said the Director. “A normal person would pull the plug out. Do you want a room with or without a view?”
Lisa D.
Sick Day Story
I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not allow me to take a leave. I figured that maybe if I acted crazy, he would think I was burned out and tell me to take some time off. So I hung upside down from the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker asked me what I was doing and I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the boss would think I was burned out and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, “What are you doing?”
I told him I was a light bulb. He said “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.” I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker followed me, the boss asked her, “And where do you think you’re going?”
She said, “I’m going home too. I can’t work in the dark!”
Ezra C.
Art Appreciation Bandit
Recently, a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, and getting in and out past incredible security, he was captured only two blocks away when his minivan ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a well thought out crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: “I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh!”
Helen S.
Kosher Menu
A man walked into a kosher seafood restaurant and asked, “Do you serve crabs here?”
The hostess, an older Jewish lady, looked at the man and said, “Sure, we serve anyone – where would you like to sit?”
David B.
In Case of Emergency
Although this married couple enjoyed their new fishing boat together, it was the husband who was always behind the wheel operating the boat. Concerned about what might happen in an emergency, the husband decided to see if his wife could handle the craft on her own. One day out on the lake he said to his wife, “Please take the wheel. Pretend that I am unconscious for some reason and you must get the boat safely to shore and dock it.”
Proving that she was up to the challenge, the wife drove the boat to shore with no help from her husband.
Later that evening, the wife walked into the living room where her husband was reading the newspaper. She sat down next to him, took a section and said to him, “Please go into the kitchen. Pretend I’m unconscious for some reason and you must set the table, cook dinner and wash the dishes.”
Historians have noted that “proof of a living Gd can be derived from the continued existence of the Jewish nation.” Beginning with our forefather Avraham, there has not been a generation where the world has not sought to annihilate us. Yet here we are, alive and flourishing, while many of them are long forgotten in the dust bins of history.
Am Yisrael Chai
The Torah states that even when we will be exiled in the lands of our enemies, Hashem will not allow us to be annihilated. Chazal tell us that we are assured to not only survive but to thrive. There is, however, one condition – in each generation there will need to be those who maintain a steadfast conviction to uphold our holy Torah. A “tree of life” was entrusted to us at Sinai and in it lies the secret to our immortality. So long as we hold onto it, both during periods of abundance and hardship, we will grow and prosper even while the world around us struggles to do so.
The words “steadfast conviction” brings to mind a woman who has forever impacted the life of my family – Rebbitzen Batya Barg. Her book titled “Voices in the Silence” has been translated into more languages than I can list and ranks among the select few that I reread once or twice a year. It is the book which Rabbi Wachsman says “Must be found in every Jewish home.” It is a book which demonstrates the great levels of steadfast conviction our nation is capable of, and that all of Stalin’s conspirators are no match for the iron will of the Jewish nation.
Story after story will leave you amazed and inspired. Here are but a few examples of the level of sacrifice you will read about in the book.
Imagine parents who have lost seven of their children in the holocaust and are left with one last daughter. One child to carry on their legacy. Now imagine this child being encouraged to roll in the snow in the hopes that she contract an ailment so she wouldn’t have to attend school on Shabbat and perform acts of desecration. Imagine parents that love this daughter more than anything in the world that nevertheless encourage this week after week in an era where no medicine exists to cure pneumonia.
Imagine spending three years in the Czarist army and refusing to ever put non-Kosher food past your lips as you wither away from starvation and face execution if caught.
Imagine running a full-fledged Yeshiva, disguised as a carpentry shop, and a Mikvah built under your kitchen table, right under the noses of the KGB.
Imagine spending your childhood scavenging through garbage dumpsters, week after week, to find scraps of fruits and vegetables because your parents feed all of the hungry in your town.
Imagine arriving home starving after a long day of working for the government, only to find that your parents have fed your dinner to a poor man that showed up at their door hungry and broken. Your replacement dinner – a glass of tea. Now imagine being ecstatic by the thought that you merited such a Mitzvah.
Indeed, it is difficult for any of us to imagine any of this yet all this actually transpired.
I have personally read hundreds of books and can attest that there is no other quite like this one. It is a book that has taught me more about endurance and commitment than any other. I urge you to read it, re-read it, and encourage your family and friends to do so.
Abie and Joey hired a driver, to be paid per hour, to tour around Israel. Touring from Northern Israel towards the south they stopped at many of the regular tourist attractions. Upon their arrival in Tel Aviv, they were shocked when blaring sirens went off and their driver immediately forced them to evacuate the car and head for the closest bomb shelter in a nearby building. They spent nearly six hours in the shelter before they were able to resume their travels. The lengthy delay was due to a missile that landed only a few yards from their shelter. Upon arrival at their destination the driver requested payment for the six hours they were delayed in the bomb shelter. Abie and Joey were appalled that the driver had the audacity to request payment for an emergency stop that was beyond their control. The driver insisted that he was hired per hour and is entitled to his pay.
Is the driver entitled to payment for the time spent in the bomb shelter? How should the Bet Din rule and why?
Torah Law
According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, a worker is not entitled to his wages if he is unable to labor due to circumstances beyond control. Hence, in instances in which both the employer and his employee were unable to anticipate the sudden turn of events that led to the cancelled employment, the employer is exempt of all liability. If, however, the employer was aware of the potential turn of events and did not inform his worker, the employer is responsible to pay the employee for his lost job opportunity.
Leading halachic authorities debate whether an employee is entitled to his wages in the event a war or national disaster is the cause of unemployment. On the one hand, since the employee did not labor on account of an unforeseen event, he is not entitled to pay. On the other hand, according to some halachic authorities a national disaster is viewed as the misfortune of the employer. Since an employer is in a position of authority, he is required to bear the misfortune of war and is responsible to compensate his employee with at least partial payment.
Additionally, halachic authorities debate the cancellation status of a hired driver who is providing access to a wagon or vehicle.
Some authorities legally view the rental of the vehicle independent of its driver. Although one price was given for both the driver and the car, nevertheless, upon cancellation, each factor is addressed separately. Hence, according to this view, although the driver is not entitled to collect payment in circumstances beyond control, he is entitled to payment for the rental of his car. After all, one who rents a car is responsible for payment regardless of whether he was able to drive the car or not. A national disaster or war is not grounds to absolve a party from payment for a rented car.
Other authorities view the hiring of a driver with a car as a standard employee agreement. The car is part of the employment package and is not viewed independently. Hence, a hired driver that is cancelled due to circumstances beyond control is not entitled to payment even for the rental of the car.
In short, there are multiple reasons to provide a driver of a car with partial payment for the time suspended due to a national disaster. Although many halachic opinions differ, nevertheless, a peaceful settlement in this situation is highly advisable.
VERDICT: Cease Fire
Although by letter of the law, Abie and Joey are absolved from payment, our Bet Din appealed to them to partially compensate the driver for his lost time. As mentioned in Torah law, halachic authorities rule that a driver or any type of employee unable to provide service due to an unforeseen event is not entitled to payment. According to numerous authorities this ruling applies even in the event of a national disaster. Hence, by law, Abie and Joey are absolved of liability. Nevertheless, some authorities view a national disaster differently than a standard unforeseen event. According to this view, Abie and Joey (the employers) are required to pay the driver for his lost time. Additionally, some halachic authorities require Abie and Joey to pay specifically for access to the car for the duration of the attack. Although Abie and Joey are in possession of their funds and may rely on the former view, we nevertheless suggested that Abie and Joey pay for two of the six hours of lost time. The two complied and a peaceful settlement was achieved.
YOU BE THE JUDGE
Cryptocurrency Strikes Again
Jerry regularly managed his brother-in-law’s financial portfolio and earned a modest commission from the profits generated. The operating agreement between them stipulated that Jerry was required to receive explicit authorization before each investment. Jerry was instructed and authorized to invest $100,000 in a certain stock. Jerry deviated from his instruction and without authorization directed $10,000 of the monies to purchase a cryptocurrency. Much to Jerry’s delight his cryptocurrency purchase earned an astronomical sum of over $60,000 in profit. Jerry, concerned with the volatility of the coin, immediately sold out and the $10,000 investment along with its profits were credited to the business account. Jerry informed his brother-in-law of the good fortune earned and suggested that they split the profits of the $10,000 investment. Jerry explained that since he was responsible for the funds in case of loss, he is entitled to at least fifty percent of the profits. The brother-in-law rejected Jerry’s claim with a wave of his hand and rebuked him for his illegal activity.
Is Jerry entitled to half the profits? If not, is he entitled to his commission? How should the Bet Din rule and why?
“You are all so proficient in Shas, Rashi, and Tosafot, that your minds are Talmudic minds and your reasoning is Talmudic reasoning,” declared the Rishon L’Tzion, Harav Yitzchak Yosef, shlit”a, to the outstanding young scholars of Shas Yiden.
“Such an assembly is an incredible kiddush Hashem, and hastens the Geulah,” added Maran Hagaon Harav Bezalel Rudinsky of Monsey, NY.
These heartfelt words of admiration followed an extraordinary “post-COVID 19” public exam in Yerushalayim conducted by these two great sages, testing outstanding students of the Shas Yiden Kollel on the entire Shas (Talmud). The text covered both the analysis of the text as well as the practical halachah.
“Such proficiency in Shas causes one’s reasoning to be not simply a personal opinion, but rather true Talmudic reasoning,” said the Rishon L’Tzion, adding, “You will thus easily arrive at the halachah in all areas throughout the Torah.”
The Remarkable Growth of a Unique Project
In just seven years, Shas Yiden has grown from one kollel in the town of Beit Shemesh with just over ten avrechim (young married students) to five kollelim serving a total of 76 avrechim geonim (outstanding young scholars). The kollelim are situated in Yerushalayim, Bnei Brak, Beit Shemesh, Beitar, and London, UK. This rapid expansion was driven by the Nasi (chairman) of Shas Yiden, Maran Sar Hatorah Rav Chaim Kanievsky, shlit”a. After testing the avreichim geonim for years, Rav Kanievsky gave his blessing to the founder, Rav Avrohom Eisen, shlit”a, encouraging him to open additional kollelim. Planning is underway for a sixth kollel to open by Kislev 5782 (December 2021).
The demanding daily regimen maintained by each student of Shas Yiden is unique in the Torah world – completing the entire Shas five times a year (a total of 13,555 blatt), learning every Rashi and Tosafot, and committing this vast amount of material to memory. Students are accepted to the program after undergoing a comprehensive test on 450 pages of Gemara, and after demonstrating the ability and commitment to maintain this rigorous pace of learning, seven days a week.
“I was Blown Away!”
Shas Yiden’s public oral examinations are a remarkable spectacle to behold, as the students’ breathtaking knowledge is put on display. These public exams take place three or four times a year, and each time, the event makes waves throughout the Torah world, inviting great admiration and amazement. These events, which are recorded and accessible on the Shas Yiden website (www.shasyiden.com), have an incredible impact on all students of Torah, inspiring them to redouble their efforts to grow and master the Talmud.
Rav Bezalel Rudinsky, shlit”a, Rosh Yeshiva of Ohr Reuven and Rav of Cong. Ahavas Yitzchok in Monsey, NY, is an acclaimed scholar renowned for his mastery of Torah, who himself completes the Talmud Bavli, Talmud Yerushalmi, and the Shulhan Aruch every year. He and his fellow examiner – the Rishon L’Tzion, shlit”a – tested the students for well over an hour, during which time the avrechim displayed their extraordinary proficiency in every corner of Shas.
After the exam, Rav Rudinsky declared, “I was blown away by the Shas Yiden. This gathering is an incredible kiddush Hashem – that Jews should know Shas in this manner! Such a gathering hastens the geulah (redemption), and if I can be part of it, I feel a great zechus (merit).”
Rav Rudinsky said that so many Jews throughout the world have been inspired and have increased their Torah learning since they heard about the phenomenon of the Shas Yiden Kollel network. “You have strengthened thousands of Jews in the mitzvah of acquiring Torah knowledge to the point where ‘the words of Torah should be accessible in your mouth such that if any man will ask you a question, you shall not fumble; rather, you should be able to respond immediately’ – which is the way of Shas Yiden,” he said.
The gathering, like all previous Shas Yiden exams, amazed everyone in attendance, showing the brilliance of the scholars who answered questions on all parts of Shas. However, this occasion was different in that most of the questions tested not simply knowledge, but rather the in-depth analysis of the text. The avrechim were asked to cite examples from all over Shas to conceptual questions, fielding questions whose answers could not be derived from a superficial knowledge level of Shas, and required incisive understanding and analysis. Not at all surprisingly, the avrechim weighed and considered all the volumes of Shas, and delivered in-depth responses, drawing upon sources from throughout Shas and other Torah texts, including the writings of recent poskim. The rabbis administering the exam were astonished, and asked, “You also know Hoshen Mishpat by heart?” – referring to the section of the Shulhan Aruch that deals with the complex, intricate halachot of monetary law.
This amazing rischa d’Oraysa (tumultuous Torah discussion) closed with the heartfelt words of the Rishon L’Tzion, who recalled how his late revered father, Maran Harav Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, who had mastered Shas at age 15, would encourage others to master Shas. He also spoke about those who support and ensure the vibrant continuity of Shas Yiden, announcing, “Shas Yiden is unique in the Torah world.”
To read the letters of the Rishon L’Tzion and Rav Rudinsky about the importance of Shas Yiden, to view the remarkable exam, or to receive more information about Shas Yiden and how to help support this network of kollelim, please visit www.shasyiden.com, or contact Shas Yiden at 718-702-1528 or 1274 49th Street #562, Brooklyn, NY 11219.
Some of the questions posed to the avrechim of Shas Yiden:
· How many practical implications are there of the question of whether the rule of safek d’Oraisa lechumra (we must act stringently in situations of uncertainty when it concerns a Torah law) applies on the level of de’Oraysa (Torah law) or miderabbanan (by force of rabbinic enactment)?
· The Brisker Rov is cited as stating that supporting a halachic position from the Torah is stronger than supporting it from empirical evidence, because the Torah’s verses reflect reality more accurately than the actual object or matter. How can this statement be proven from Shas?
· Why does the Gemara bring supporting passages from the Torah for a halachah stated in the Mishnah even when the Mishnah itself provides the reason?
· Is the concept of arvus (responsibility for the Torah obligations of one’s fellow Jews) applicable to gerim (converts)?
· If a borrower claims within 30 days of taking the loan that he repaid it, is he presumed to tell the truth, or do we assume that borrowers do not generally repay before the time limit of the loan?
· Is the birth of twins considered an extra “plus” for the father?
· The Bach claimed that the Talmud’s statement, “Rov ganveh Yisrael – Most thieves are Jews” is not to be taken literally. Bring proof to the Bach’s claim.
· Under which circumstances may one tell an untruth? What conditions apply? How many times – and where – is this mentioned in Shas?
· What is the source in Shas for the concept of a Mora d’asra – community rabbi?
It’s a random Tuesday, and a lump appears where it shouldn’t be. A bruise, or two. A headache that just won’t disappear. With Hashem’s help that day will never come, and we will never hear the word “cancer” spoken again out loud. But if it does, Gd forbid, know that help is just a phone call away.
Nancy Sutton, founder and president of the Morris I. Franco Cancer and Referral Center, has been guiding community members through the medical maze for almost thirty years, providing endless support, hope, and understanding. For so long she has been giving referrals and help to patients to choose the right doctors, hospitals, and treatments. Eleven years ago, she followed that work up with the founding of the Cancer Center, a place that envelops every patient with whatever they might need, before they even know they need it. Compassionate and nurturing, Nancy and her team’s experience is vast and unmatched. Their data bank is up to date and fresh, with names and often cell phone numbers of thousands of doctors. Their relationships with both hospitals and medical professionals garnered over years of travel and attention help provide a clear path to success for a patient who is probably at the most vulnerable point of their lives.
Renee Zarif, a recipient of that care, explains. “From the point a patient gets diagnosed until the point they find an oncologist, the fear that overtakes is incomprehensible. I was just 30 years old when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, married nine years. You can just imagine what was going through our minds. There are many medical referral organizations and individuals…but when we got to Nancy, everything changed. The knowledge she has, the doctors on speed-dial, and the personal way in which she shared her thoughts…she was certain, when we were so uncertain. She actually found a way to put us at ease.”
A Hand to Hold
Nancy not only guided the Zarif’s, but also sat right by their side at the first appointment. Renee continues, “We were so serious and nervous, and she was just calm. When we walked in, she said, ‘let’s get oatmeal and coffee,’ like it was a breakfast date. I was a wreck, and she brought comfort, making everything more tolerable. We talked with the doctor, and once he said that I was going to lose my hair, I tuned out. I couldn’t even hear the rest of what he was saying. Nancy was there, thank Gd, to ask all the right questions; She is the expert, and that doctor was Hashem’s gift to me.
“Nancy and her wonderful staff at the Cancer Center took care of everything, from transferring files from one hospital to another, to finding the right insurance, to getting a wig ready for me, and getting meals cooked for our family. Nancy’s mind is like a computer. She knows which doctor and which hospital is right for which patient. She’s ten steps ahead, and when you can’t think straight, that’s more valuable than you can ever know.”
Ralph Tawil is another fighter. One who is just beginning his journey. On the second day of Passover, he told his wife Tami that he was having trouble formulating his words. After the CAT scan, the doctor came to their room with a chair in hand. They knew the news could not be good.
Ralph Tawil at the bell at Sloan Kettering that patients ring when they complete their radiation.
Tami recalls, “The ER doctor sent us to NYU, where a new doctor recommended surgery within a day or two. I did not say the word ‘petrified’ even once. I couldn’t go there – I just put one foot in front of another. But surgery? Is this the right doctor? I knew I needed the expertise only the Cancer Center could offer. Nancy picked up my call while with her grandkids at Universal Studios in Florida. She settled them, and sat down. ‘I’m all yours,’ she said.
“Once I told her the story, she said, ’This is brain surgery! We need to research this! Give me some time.’ But when she called me back twenty minutes later, she was sure. This is THE guy. Do it. Afterwards, Nancy and I were talking twice a day at least. This was the right doctor for the surgery, but we needed a course of action going forward. Nancy told me to come in to the Cancer Center and see dedicated staff member Margie Mathews to collect copies of the scans to send out. I used to volunteer there, so to walk in, and be on the other side, as a patient advocate, it was surreal. I expected to get the scans and a list of doctors. Instead, Nancy was standing there with a big smile on her face, a hug ready, and a muffin in hand. I am good at many things, but doctors – definitely not my forte. Nancy sent our records all over America, and later on, she would usher us into Duke, in South Carolina. ‘Do you need a charter? We can arrange it,’ she asked. ‘What’s a charter?’ I answered. She would have been on the plane with us, if not for COVID. Instead, she joined us via zoom, all of it her joy – like we were doing her a favor, allowing her to help us.”
Joey Shamie explains the magic of the Cancer Center and the love, concern, and expertise that they provided when he needed it most. “When Adrienne and I faced the reality of my diagnosis, the first 911 call we made was to Nancy. She was in Israel on vacation, but of course, that didn’t stop her. She treated me like family – a brother – and gave 100% of herself. She made me feel like I had my own personal advisor and confidant, helping me to think things through to the best solution. Aside from that, she showed me first hand that we all love and care about each other in this community.”
Caring Connections
Rabbi David Ozeri recalls his first experience with the Cancer Center, ten years ago. “I brought in a patient truly traumatized by her diagnosis, and Nancy took her by the hand, introduced her to the staff, and calmed her in a way I never thought possible. I was amazed that something so complicated could be made so simple, and I never looked back. The patient received the best medical guidance and care available throughout her illness and she understood she was not alone; there was a light at the end of that dark tunnel. This is why the Cancer Center is always my first phone call in these situations.”
Nancy, her partners Sonia Didia, and Gerrie Bamira, who heads up the Deal division, and so many amazing volunteers, have learned that healing comes not only from medicine but from people. From the very first meeting they are thinking of what the patient needs now, and later on. Is it counseling? A babysitter? A wig? A manicure or massage? Yoga? Meals for their family? Most helpful seems to be a connection that is made early on with other patients who’ve had similar experiences.
When Ralph was invited to a men’s group and dinner, Tami was surprised he was open to it. “He’s so private,” she explained, “but Nancy managed to make him feel he was a part of something, and that she cared. It made him comfortable. I was also invited to a caregiver’s chat and get-together. Am I the caregiver, I asked myself? It’s an odd feeling to be part of a club I didn’t choose, but it’s comforting. It’s about showing you that somebody wants you to smile. It’s knowing we are in this together.”
Joey Shamie agreed, “We all love and care about each other, and have similar issues. We meet and talk on a regular basis. The Cancer Center treats us to beautiful meals, makes sure we have a round table, so we can all see each other, and provides the finest accommodations. It’s like they have an aerial view of what’s going on. Because of their experience and dedication to the cause, they know how important it is for us to feel good. It’s a fantastic way of being able to heal, and help others to heal.”
When Nancy called Renee and said, “We’re doing a mosaics class, I want you to come,” she scoffed. Renee is a physical therapist, and like Tami, had been on the other side of the equation, working at the Cancer Center helping patients. Nancy begged, and she showed up. “I came because I wanted to show my appreciation for all the Cancer Center was doing for me and my family. Meanwhile, it ended up being an incredible experience. I didn’t know anyone there, but quickly I became very comfortable. Who else could I talk to about the tricks to get through chemo? I laughed because I knew that Nancy had tailored that class to us, so we would lean on each other. It was a support group, incognito. We understood each other, perfectly, and that helped.”
Joey Shamie with his hero in life, his dad, Louie Shamie, a”h.
The Red Carpet Treatment
While, of course, the Cancer Center is focused on medical treatment, both physical and mental, there is another facet of care that is tremendously appreciated by the patients and their families. Zarif continues, “Nancy called me a few days before I was supposed to start chemo. ‘I booked a Broadway show for you tonight, and dinner at La Marais.’ My husband was reluctant to accept the extravagance, but I knew it was a treat we could not refuse. That night was the first time in months that we did not talk about my disease, the chemo, or our problems. There were more dinners to follow, on a beach, by a pool, and even hotel stays. But that night was the first, and it had tremendous impact. We reflect on it often.”
Tami recalls a similar story, “At the end of April, Nancy invited Ralph and me to have a beautiful five-course dinner in a lovely backyard in Manhattan Beach. Just us and the waiter. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, and it was really magnificent. My husband is a quiet guy; he doesn’t like a fuss to be made, but this was nice. We got a cheesecake on Shavuot, flowers on Shabbat. There’s always something special, and it’s nice to know someone is thinking of us.”
Zarif continues, “Throughout my treatment, I kept asking Nancy, ‘What if it doesn’t work?’ and she would answer, ‘What if it does?’ When I was in the hospital for a month the Cancer Center helped get me a nurse, sent meals to my home every day, and delivered gifts to my kids – which really distracted them, and helped. When I finally came home, they set up a lunch for my husband and me by someone’s pool, and a dinner on the beach. I had many food restrictions then because of the treatment, but they paid attention to the details. It is a beautiful form of hesed, and it forced us to forget about everything for a little while. I can’t justify how much she helped me. It’s the medical part, yes. But more so, afterwards, emotionally. I’m self-sufficient, organized, and in control. I’ve been working most of my married life. To say I need help is hard for me. But Nancy and her team understood. They might be the only ones who did.”
Your First Phone Call
Joey Shamie continues, “Confidentiality is a burden that a cancer patient does not need. I encourage anyone that is going through these issues to open up and share, and accept the warmth and love that is around us. I am blessed to have the very best team in Adrienne and my children, who have never missed a single doctor’s appointment and have been by my side throughout. Adrienne keeps me positive and helps me concentrate on my amazing life. We are also blessed to have so many friends who come and offer support; both emotionally and effectively. Of course, I wish I never had it. But if I am honest, my experience over the last year has been the most rewarding of my life. Every person, gesture, doctor, nurse, and technician has helped steer me towards recovery. From the head of the hospital to the young ladies who take my blood, I cannot thank them enough. Know that everyone is going through it with you. And that everything you put out there in the world, comes right back to you.”
Tami continues, “Ralph said to me that knowing that I had Nancy to hold my hand made his journey easier. Obviously, everyone’s taking care of hm; he was glad to know that someone was tending to me, too. From the beginning Nancy treated us like she has nothing better to do and no one else to worry about, no matter how busy she is. At a time when you’re so vulnerable, it feels good to have someone in your corner who is so knowledgeable. She makes us feel like she is fully in charge of our care. It’s hard, but she makes it all a little easier.”
Dr. Herbert Pardes, Vice Chairman of NY Presbyterian Hospital explained, “On the one hand you can give surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy. But if you pay full attention to the emotional and psychological needs of the individual like they do at the Cancer Center, you can expect better overall results. It is all interconnected.” The Morris I. Franco Cancer and Referral Center helps their patients with anything and everything imaginable, going above and beyond over and over again. Leaving no stone unturned, they are one of a kind. Their goal is to get their patients well, and they are very, very good at it. For more information about the Cancer Center and medical referrals, call (718) 787-1800 or visit us at nycancercenter.org.
