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Rosh Hashana FAQ

By Rabbi Hayim Asher Arking and Rabbi Ezra Ghodsi  

 

Regarding the blowing of the shofar on Rosh Hashana, the Rambam writes that it alludes to a critical message: “Awaken from your slumber; those who sleep deeply, rouse yourselves from your stupor. Examine your actions, repent, and remember your Creator. Those who have forgotten the truth… Look into your souls and better your ways and deeds, abandon one’s evil ways and bad thoughts.” 

The halachot surrounding the performance of this cherished mitzvah – shofar – that we will outline, should enable us to have the full effect of reigniting our souls to the highest level of repentance.  

 

Who is obligated?  

Since hearing the shofar is a time-bound commandment, women are not obligated to hear the shofar. However, because of the significance of this mitzvah and its resounding message, many women have developed the custom to hear the shofar. Since their obligation is not absolute, one who is blowing shofar exclusively for women, should not recite a beracha before blowing.  

 

How many blasts is one obligated to hear? 

When the Torah discusses the blowing of the shofar, the word teruah is written three times. It definitely resembles some sort of cry; perhaps it is a sound of short groans – what we call shevarim; or a sound of a wailing cry – what we call teruah; or both – shevarim-teruah 

The Gemara derives from other pesukim that a tekiah (straight blast) must be blown before and after each teruah. This essentially teaches us that we must hear thirty teruah blasts on Rosh Hashana as follows:  

Tekiah ShevarimTeruahTekiah x 3 

TekiahShevarimTekiah x 3 

TekiahTeruah – Tekiah x 3 

Total = 30 

 

Why do we blow more than thirty blasts? 

The Gemara teaches: Why do we blow some tekiot while sitting and then many more while standing? So, it should bring confusion to the Satan as he sees how beloved are the mitzvot to us. Alternatively, it is explained that when the Satan hears the second blowing he does not know if perhaps it is the day of the final redemption when the shofar will be blown. 

 

When do we blow the shofar?  

This first set of thirty blasts is initially blown with the berachot while seated before the Amidah. We blow this first set of tekiot before the Torah is returned to the Hechal while standing next to the Torah. The reason for this custom is to invoke the merit of receiving the Torah which took place with blasts of the shofar. As it is written (Shemot 19:16): “And behold the sound of the shofar went and strengthened.”  

The rest of the blasts are integrated with the tefillah of Musaf. The second set of thirty is blown during the silent Amidah; ten tekiot at each segment. The third set of thirty is blown during the hazarah of the tefillah, ten with each segment.  

Initially, the shofar was blown during the prayer of Shaharit. However, in the era of the Mishna, gentiles made a decree forbidding the blowing of the shofar. They would carefully observe the Jews for the entire morning of Rosh Hashana until midday, which is the latest time for Shaharit, to ensure that the shofar would not be blown. The rabbis, therefore, moved the shofar blowing to Musaf, which can be prayed even after noon. Ever since then, we have kept the shofar blowing in the Musaf prayer. It is integrated specifically for the three segments of Musaf as the shofar relates to each segment.  

 

Why is the shofar also blown after Musaf? 

We blow another ten blasts during the kaddish that follows the Amidah to bring us to a total of 100 blasts. This degree of crying represents the ultimate expression of a heartfelt cry as we see from the story of the mother of Sisera. In the era of the Judges, after we entered the Land of Israel, there was a period when we were oppressed by the Canaanim. Sisera, their powerful general, came to attack us with nine hundred chariots. It was assumed that he would return victorious. And his mother, as usual, was waiting, looking out the window to greet his return from war. When he did not return, she rationalized, “Perhaps he is dividing the loot.” However, as time passed, she came to the realization that Sisera must have been killed. The pasuk describes the crying for her son by the root word – yevava – again and again totaling 100 times. This word – yevava – is the translation of the word teruah as Onkelos writes on the aforementioned pasuk in the Torah. 

There is one more teruah gedola added before Alenu to confuse the Satan.  

 

Why is the shofar covered before it is blown? 

The shofar should be covered until the berachot are finished. Some reasons for this minhag are:  

  1. When Abraham was preparing the altar to sacrifice his son Yishak, he kept Yishak covered until the very last moment, because he feared that Yishak would receive a blemish rendering him unfit to be offered. Since the shofar is a remembrance of the Akedah we cover the shofar until the very last moment.  

 

  1. To prevent the Satan from taking control of the shofar.  

 

Do I sit or stand during the shofar blowing?  

The one blowing the shofar needs to stand, just as we do for all mitzvot, however, the congregation remains seated during the first set of blasts. Some have the custom to stand while the berachot are recited and then immediately sit for the shofar blasts. Most communities, however, sit during the berachot as well.  

 

What do I think about while the shofar is being blown?  

First and foremost, one must have in mind that he is fulfilling the commandment of the Torah of hearing the shofar. Secondly, one should bear in mind his or her own confession and renewed commitment to listen to the Word of Hashem. 

Am I allowed to speak during Musaf?  

From the beginning of the shofar blasts until after the hundredth blast, one should not speak of matters not related to the mitzvah at hand. One who uses the restroom in between may still recite the blessing of Asher Yasar 

What if I came late?  

If one missed the berachot he should recite the berachot when he arrives before hearing the shofar. If one already missed some blasts of the shofar, he should listen to where the congregation is up to, keep count, and make up the remaining missing blasts afterwards.  

 

I am blowing for someone at home, which berachot do I recite?  

If one is blowing for a man or boy over the age of bar-mitzvah, either the one blowing or the one listening recites two berachot. On the first day: 1. Lishmoa kol shofar; and 2. Shehehiyanu. On the second day, just the first beracha is recited. If the person did not hear the shofar on the first day, Shehehiyanu will be recited on the second day. When blowing for women, no berachot are recited. 

When blowing for someone at home, it is preferable for them to stand. 

May the zechut of shofar bring the sounds of the shofar of the Final Redemption.  

 Meaning of the Shofar 

Rav Saadia Gaon writes ten important ideas regarding the meaning of the shofar:  

  1. On Rosh Hashana, Hashem completed the creation of the world and reigned as King over it. It is customary for kings to announce their kingship with trumpets and horns. We, therefore, blow the shofar on Rosh Hashana to show that we are accepting the Kingship of Hashem.  
  2. Rosh Hashana is the first of the Ten Days of Repentance. We blow the shofar to arouse everyone to do teshuva 
  3. We remember the giving of the Torah at Har Sinai, which was accompanied by shofar blasts. Essentially, we are recommitting to all of the mitzvot and accepting upon ourselves as we had originally with na’ase v’nishma – we will perform and we will listen.  
  4. To remind us of the words of the Prophets that are compared to a shofar.  
  5. To remind us of the destruction of the Bet Hamikdash and the wailing sound of war cries. When we hear the shofar, we will ask Hashem to bring the Bet Hamikdash.  
  6. To remember Yishak Avinu who was willing to give his life to be sacrificed. We too will accept upon ourselves to give our lives for the sake of Hashem.  
  7. The shofar causes us to be afraid, tremble, and break in front of Hashem.  
  8. To remember the great Day of Judgement which will take place with shofar blasts.  
  9. To remind us of and inspire us to yearn for the Ingathering of the Exiles, which will take place with shofar blasts.  
  10. To remind us of the Resurrection of the Dead, which will take place with shofar blasts. 

Battleground at “The Tent”

A Midseason Overview of the 2023 M&S Summer Softball League 

The summer of 2023 has brought both scorching heat and sizzling action to the M&S Summer Softball League, sponsored by the iconic “Sarah’s Tent,” affectionately known as “The Tent.” With the league reaching its midway point, softball aficionados have been treated to an exhilarating display of skill, determination, and camaraderie. As teams jockey for playoff positions, the stage is set for an intense showdown at the Wild Card matchup, making for an electrifying second half of the season. 

The Leaders of the Pack 

At the forefront of the league’s proceedings is the “One Team One Dream” organization, commanded by the charismatic Steven Gindi. Gindi’s squad has taken the top spot with an impressive 7-1 record, leaving a trail of awe-inspiring performances in its wake. Gindi himself, no stranger to MVP-caliber seasons, continues to showcase his prowess both on and off the field. His leadership has been instrumental in galvanizing his teammates, while his consistent batting has sent shockwaves through the league. 

Adding to the spectacle is the emergence of a young starting pitcher, Yitz “Irwin” Sutton. With a moniker like “Irwin,” Sutton has certainly been taking the league by storm. His ability to command the mound and dictate the rhythm of the game has been nothing short of extraordinary. With Gindi and Sutton as their cornerstones, “One Team One Dream” seems destined for greatness. 

The Ageless Wonder of Gucci 

Nipping at the heels of the leaderboards is the “Gucci” organization, masterfully led by Michael Sabon Salomon. With a 7-3 record, Gucci has enjoyed a fiery start to the season, much of which can be attributed to the ageless wonder, Allie Marshall. A remarkable transition to starting pitcher at this juncture of his career has not only defied expectations but has also propelled Gucci to its impressive position. 

Marshall’s remarkable determination and experience have made him an inspiration for teammates and a source of bewilderment for opponents. His unwavering commitment to reinventing himself demonstrates that age truly is just a number. With Marshall at the helm, the Gucci organization is poised to remain a formidable contender as the season progresses. 

Diamond Busters’ Renaissance 

Securing the third spot is the “Diamond Busters,” under the leadership of Gabe Abadi. With a 5-3 record, this team has all the attributes necessary for success, poised to embark on a deep playoff run. A key element in their resurgence is the veteran Teddy Ishak, whose renaissance season has elevated the team’s performance to new heights. Ishak’s experience and skill have been a guiding light for the Diamond Busters, igniting their journey to prominence. 

A Battle for Playoff Spots 

As the league season advances, the competition at the bottom of the standings intensifies, as four teams vie for the last two coveted playoff positions. The thrilling twist in the league format sees the 4th and 5th seed teams clashing in a Wild Card matchup – a showdown of epic proportions that promises nail-biting action and unexpected heroes. 

Chasing Playoff Dreams 

Occupying the 4th place is the “Title Town” squad, led by Sammy Esses, with a record of 3-5. Despite being hailed as a preseason favorite, the team’s early stumbles have cast a shadow over their aspirations. However, with the second half of the season on the horizon, Esses and his team are determined to regain their footing and mount a comeback. 

In the 5th seed sits the “RELAX” organization, under the leadership of Ray “Berry” Esses, with a 2-4 record. Possessing half of their games in front of them, the team remains upbeat and focused on making a strong second-half push. Last year’s MVP, Albert “Al-Co” Cohen, leads the charge, instilling confidence in his teammates. 

The 6th seed belongs to the “Tomahawk” organization, currently at 4-8. A team that underwent experiments, particularly with former superstar CF Michael “MC” Cohen, has struggled due to a poorly constructed lineup. The off-season will undoubtedly be a period of strategic recalibration for MC. 

In the 7th and final seed is the “Massai Warriors,” captained by Shimi Cohen, with a 2-6 record. Four games remain on their schedule, providing ample opportunity to close out the season strongly and position themselves for a potential playoff berth. 

Embracing the Excitement 

With the 2023 M&S Summer Softball League hurtling toward its climax, spectators and enthusiasts can savor the action through the league’s YouTube channel, where live games are streamed, and professional highlight packages are produced nightly. As the competition heats up and the playoffs approach, the league website (www.MandSbaseball.com) stands as the beacon of up-to-date information for all things M&S.  

The thrilling battles, the unexpected triumphs, and the indomitable spirit of the players promise to make this summer’s softball spectacle one for the books. 

Honoring the Departed: First-of-its-Kind Sephardic Memorial Home Opens in Ocean Township

Michelle Shrem 

The Chehebar Memorial Home, housed in a brand new building at 1107 Logan Road in Ocean Township, New Jersey, is the first memorial home dedicated to serving our community.  

As a close-knit community that takes pride – for good reason – in our tight bonds of friendship, and our commitment to caring for one another, our life-cycle events are often large affairs, with hundreds of friends and relatives in attendance. This is true of our semahot, as well as – lehavdil – our moments of loss and grief.   

Now, for the first time, we have a memorial home built especially for our community’s needs.  Ample parking is available to accommodate the large numbers of people who wish to attend, and the building is easily accessible from both Logan Road as well as from Highway 35 North and through local roads. The building’s interior is large and aesthetically designed in a manner that affords the deceased the honor that they deserve. The design was specifically planned to maximize comfort for the grieving families and their guests who have come to pay their respects to the deceased and offer their much-needed support to the families. 

Grieving in Comfort  

Around seven years ago, a group of community members, recognizing the need for a memorial home that serves our community’s needs, got to work on this project.  After a long, difficult process of getting the necessary approvals, the group broke ground with a 10,000-square-foot, two-story building consisting of an assembly room, two kohanim rooms, taharah rooms (where the bodies are prepared for burial), a mikveh, and several offices and storage spaces. The mikveh in the facility allows for the immersion of the body on site in a mikveh filled with rainwater, in accordance with our community’s custom.  

The state-of-the-art building is spacious, with a 400+ seating capacity, and equipped with a top-quality audio and video system, and an excellent heating and cooling system. Every effort has been made to provide the family and guests with maximum comfort during their time of sorrow.  

Founders of the Chehebar Memorial Home include project leader Maurice Zekaria; Ronnie Shammah, who provided long-term operational support; and Harry and Alex Adjmi, who offered valuable guidance throughout the process, as well as financial support. The project was undertaken under the supervision of Rabbi Rachamim Aboud and Rabbi Edmond Nahum. 

Special Community Hotline  

The ribbon-cutting ceremony was held on July 7, 2023, featuring ten community rabbis who spoke, offered blessings, and inaugurated the building.    

In addition, a new community hotline, run by volunteer operators, is available for families seeking halachic and logistical guidance.  A volunteer will gather the information and direct the question to the proper address to ensure as smooth and comforting a process as possible. The hotline’s number is: (732) 259 4774.

I would like to thank Ronnie Shammah and Maurice Zekaria for taking time out of their busy schedules to meet with me and discuss this important undertaking. And, of course, the entire community owes them, and everybody involved in the creation of the Chehebar Memorial Home, an enormous debt of gratitude for their vision and the hard work they invested to bring this project to fruition.  

Once Upon a Thyme – Hummus

If you’ve never tasted homemade hummus, you’re missing out. Who would’ve imagined the simple chickpea can elevate any meal when turned into a creamy spread? After drizzling with olive oil, I often top with whole chickpeas. Other toppings include cooked ground beef with pine nuts or harissa with roasted bell pepper strips. This recipe adds some Rosh Hashanah themed toppings to enhance your meal. Because I am not a fan of sesame paste, I never include it in my hummus, but everyone keeps going back for more. If you can’t do without it, add ½ cup sesame paste to the processor. Recipe may be doubled for a large crowd, and stays  fresh in the refrigerator in a sealed container for 1-3 days. 

 

Hummus: 

 

1 can chickpeas, drained 

¼  cup lemon juice 

¼  cup olive oil 

2 cloves garlic 

1 tsp salt 

 

Toppings: 

 

Olive oil  

Edible flowers 

Pine nuts 

Pomegranate seeds 

Figs, cut into quarters 

Microgreens  

 

  1. Place the hummus ingredients in a processor and pulse for about one minute until it becomes a uniform mixture
  2. To serve, spoon the hummus into a plate. Using the back of the spoon, spread the hummus around the plate, smoothing it out.
  3. Drizzle olive oil on top and then add the toppings, spacing them out evenly. 
  4. Serve with bread, pretzels, or cut veggies.  

Hope Brings Salvation

The Gemara comments (Shabbat 31a) that one of the questions each person will be asked in heaven after 120 years is, “Did you anticipate salvation?”  The simple meaning of this remark is that we will be asked whether we anticipated and longed for the arrival of Mashiah to rescue the Jewish people from our prolonged exile.  However, the Bet HaLevi explains that this question also refers to our anticipating salvation from our personal problems. As long as a person has hope, anything is possible. The Gemara comments (Berachot 10a), “Even if a sharp sword rests upon a person’s neck, he should not withhold himself from prayer.” Nothing is beyond Hashem. The worst thing a person can do is to despair and stop praying.

The tzaddikim instruct that if a patient’s doctor despairs and say he cannot be cured, no one should be informed of this. As long as people think there is hope for recovery, they will pray intensely and Hashem will respond favorably to their prayers. But if a person has given up hope, they will not pray and then the salvation cannot come. The Gemara (Ketubot 104a) tells that when Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi was gravely ill, hovering between life and death, the entire yeshivah was praying on his behalf. One of the rabbis announced that anyone who reported that Rabbi Yehudah died would be deserving of being stabbed. The commentators ask: Why would it have been so wrong to report Rabbi Yehudah HaNasi’s death? The Shittah Mekubetzes explains that if the people would think that he died, they would stop praying. As long as they thought he was still alive, they would continue praying and Hashem could still bring him back. It’s never too late to pray, no matter how dire the situation.

A woman from Great Neck related that in the summer of 2012, her two-year-old daughter fell into a pool. When she was pulled out, she did not have a pulse, her eyes were open, her face was blue, and her nails were purple. It appeared as though she had already passed away. While her husband performed CPR on the girl, the mother cried out to Hashem. She accepted upon herself from that moment that she would dress modestly and cover her hair. Miraculously, the child’s pulse was restored, at which point she was rushed to the hospital in a Hatzalah ambulance.

During that time the girl spent in the hospital, Tehillim was being recited by Jews across the world. Six of the top neurologists were brought in to examine the girl, and she underwent hours upon hours of testing. When the testing was finally completed, the chief doctor, Dr. Keith Meyer, said to the parents, “Your daughter is a walking miracle.”

The doctors obtained a video of the accident taken by a surveillance camera. It showed, to their sheer astonishment, that the girl had been underwater for three minutes and ten seconds. She should have been clinically dead. Yet, there was not even a trace of any brain damage. She was alive and well.

The doctor, who is Jewish, said to the parents, “I don’t know what I have believed until now, but now I clearly see that there is a Hashem in the world.”  He noted that he had, unfortunately, seen many children who had been underwater for less than a minute and suffered permanent brain damage. It made no medical sense that this girl suffered no damage after being underwater for that long.

Hashem can do anything. Nothing is impossible for Him. No matter what the situation is, the problem can always be solved. As long as there is hope and tefillah, the salvation will come.

One on One with Sara Chehebar 

 ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS  

 

“I love to be spontaneous and be in the moment. I am also a perfectionist in my personal and professional life.”~~ Sara ~~ 

Please meet Sara Manopla Chehebar, founder of Sara’s Creations.  Sara bakes delectable and beautiful specialty cakes that are works of art. 

 

Born in Brooklyn, Sara grew up in NY, Israel, and Mexico until she returned to the U.S. with her family at the age of fifteen. 

 

Living in several countries as a child and teenager strongly influenced the woman Sara is today as well as shaping her perspective on life and family.  She is very grateful to her parents for the varied and stimulating life experiences they provided her. 

 

Sara’s parents, Morris (Maurice) and Fortuna Manopla are both of Sephardic descent.  Fortuna was born in Mexico and Morris in Columbia.  Morris’s family is from Egypt and Fortuna’s is from Aleppo, Syria.  At the age of eleven, Morris was sent by his mother to study at a yeshiva in NY and Fortuna left Mexico in her twenties to find her life partner in Brooklyn.  She was introduced to Morris and the rest is history.  The couple married in Mexico City and lived in Brooklyn for five years. They then made Aliyah and lived in Har Nof, Jerusalem for three years.   

 

Sara, her older brother Abraham, and her younger sister Millie were all born in Brooklyn.  She recalls her life in Israel as being beautiful. 

 

When Fortuna was pregnant with baby Aaron in Israel, the Manoplas moved to Mexico City for a few months so Fortuna could give birth there and be with her parents and relatives.  They returned to Israel and remained there until Sara was seven.  The family then relocated to Mexico City and lived there for eight years.  When Sara was fifteen, the Manoplas made Deal, NJ, their new home. 

 

“I went to Magen David, an amazing Jewish school in Mexico City, and I still speak to many of my friends from there.”   

 

Sara shared that she was a very happy, outgoing, and easy child.  “I was friendly with everyone, made things work, and I went with the flow.”   She was also at the top of the class and was very studious. 

 

When Sara’s family moved to Deal she was very excited to meet new friends.  She had enjoyed a full social life in Mexico City and looked forward to the same at Hillel High School. 

 

“My brother Abraham was going into eleventh grade, and I was starting the tenth grade.  I will always remember a girl coming over to me, introducing herself as Florence, and asking me if Abraham was my boyfriend.” 

 

Florence became Sara’s closest friend, and it is hashgachat pratit that Sara met her husband through Florence. 

 

Sara is proud that she is an open-minded, courageous, and flexible person.  “Nothing scares me.  All those travels and varying countries and schools shaped me.” 

 

Career and Marriage 

 

After high school, Sara attended Brookdale Community College for two years, transferred to Rutgers University for six months, and then completed her liberal arts degree at Monmouth University.  Her major was psychology, and her intent was to help people by becoming a psychologist.  Life presented her with another wonderful opportunity to bring joy to others. 

 

Sara met her husband Solomon (“Solly”) Chehebar when she was eighteen. They got married a year later and have been married for eighteen years.   

 

The couple live in Deal and have three sons, Albert (17), Maurice (15), Daniel (11), and a daughter, seven-year-old Dina. “Our community is unbelievable and it’s a blessing to be part of it.  We all come together when someone needs help – we are one.” 

 

Sara’s Special Essence 

 

I immediately felt comfortable with Sara when we met, and I interviewed her while she was preparing one of her custom cakes. 

 

Sara thrives on being spontaneous and doesn’t like to plan too much.  She enjoys doing things out of the box and living in the moment.  She may decide to go to a wedding out of the country two days before the event.  “I don’t stress, I live day by day.  If I can work it out, I will attend a simcha.  Too much planning creates anxiety.” 

 

Although Sara is easygoing and lives in the present, she refers to herself as a super-perfectionist in her personal life and in her business.  “I like to parent that way too and allow my children to make decisions when appropriate.”She loves being busy and is never bored!  


To unwind, Sara likes to go to bed early and catch up on text messages, WhatsApp’s, and emails that she missed throughout the day. Since she is always working with her hands, it’s important to check her phone at night for missed communications. 

 

Her Creative Spark 

 

Sara’s special essence is her creative talent.  “I love to create!” Sara says. Her mom recognized Sara’s natural creativity when Sara was six, when she took an art class and worked with Fimo, a brand of polymer clay.  Sara still has clay pieces she formed when she was six years old.  Creating art came easy to her. 

 

When Sara turned seven, Fortuna baked a beautiful heart cake for her birthday, with multi-colored sprinkles.   “I remember the special feeling I experienced when I saw that incredible cake with my name Sara in Hebrew,” Sara remembers.   

 

The Inspiration of Sara’s Creations 

 

When Sara was engaged to Solly, his sister’s son was turning one.  “My nephew loved Elmo from Sesame Street and I offered to bake an Elmo cake.”  It was the first time she baked a specialty cake.  Sara again offered to bake a one-year birthday cake for her nephew’s little brother, this time in the shape of the character Diego from Dora the Explorer.  The next cake she baked was in the shape of a train for her son Albert’s first birthday.  

 

Sara brought pictures of her cakes to Mommy and Me classes and the other mothers asked her to bake special cakes for their children.  This is how her specialty cake business was born. Her venture just kept growing.   

 

“The best part of my business is that it’s only for happy occasions.  Each cake is unique and has my personal touch. I have never replicated a cake.” 

 

Sara bakes cakes for birthdays, bar and bat mitzvot, sweet sixteen birthdays, engagement parties, weddings, brit milot, anniversaries, whatever her clients want.  She has crafted cakes for up to five hundred people. Her clients come strictly from word of mouth, with no advertising.  Sara’s cakes have even been picked up by helicopter! 

 

It’s Not Just About the Cake… 

 

Sara’s secret to success is that each cake is personal to her.  “I put my whole heart into it.  Nothing leaves my house that I don’t absolutely love.  I have mastered the ability to replicate anything in an edible form.” 

 

“The 20-second time span, when the cake is done, is thrilling, and can’t be fully described. It may have taken me 60 hours or more to create.  I always take pictures of the final product!” 

 

Sara talks or meets with each client and learns the story behind the occasion.  She will draw a sketch based on the client’s description and get their approval.  Some cakes can be quite complex and will require a lot of back-and-forth discussions and sketches.  “At times, I need to be an engineer and ensure the cake will not fall.” 

 

Meeting her clients, building relationships with them, and having them become friends is so rewarding for Sara.  She is proud of the name and reputation she has made for herself. 

 

Balance 

 

Achieving a healthy work-life balance is a day-to-day effort.  “Trying to be a mom, businesswoman, and making everyone happy does involve some sleepless nights.” 

 

Sara appreciates the wonderful support system she has, which includes her husband, their parents, brothers, and sisters.  During her crunch times, their help with family-related tasks is priceless.  

 

The pandemic did not affect Sara’s Creations adversely. In fact, Sara was busier than ever! “I guess people were bored at home so why not order a specialty cake?”  From a personal standpoint, “It was a struggle at times with all the kids being on zoom for school and finding everyone a quiet place to be so they could focus.”  

Looking back, Sara says it was nice to have all her children together and close by.   

What’s Next 

Sara is looking forward to moving to a commercial kitchen which will be an absolute blessing. It will be under the JSOR hashgacha. She may also return to school and pursue psychology. Sara concludes, “I flourish on connecting with people and helping them.”  

Connect with Sara at sccreations1@gmail.com, on Instagram@sarachehebar, or call her at 732-245-5435.

_______________________________________________________ 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Vice-President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com(www.lifecoachellen.com). 

 

Eliminate Anger – For Good

Dr. Yossi Shafer 

 

Anger is often an all-consuming entity, an exceedingly strong feeling that overrides emotion and logical thought. That is because, as explained in previous articles, anger masks underlying emotions that typically stem from taking someone else’s opinion of or behavior toward you personally. When you dig deeper, tune into yourself, and allow yourself to be vulnerable enough to explore your true emotions, you can deal with the root of the problem rather than the symptom. 

A life ruled by anger is an unpleasant life for everyone, but most unpleasant for the angry person. You may defend the need for anger – I must show them how badly their words or actions affected me – but while it may seem like the easy way out, it’s never a long-term solution. 

 

Empower Yourself 

Empower yourself to overcome the anger and work through what is actually happening beneath the surface. 

Instead of succumbing to anger, indulge in a little introspection. Ask yourself: how does this make me feel? Followed by: what can I do about it now? 

The answer to the second question is always one of two choices: accept and move on or find a solution. As the adage goes: For every evil under the sun, there is a remedy or there is none. If there be one, try and find it; if there be none, never mind it. 

Try it in any scenario where angry responses are common. 

Sample Scenarios 

Your son comes home at 11:45pm even though his curfew is 11:00pm. You’re ready to explode. Why? How does this make me feel? The answer may be: betrayed, worried, unappreciated, unheard, losing control. (These responses are especially common if you are a survivor of childhood trauma or neglect.) Then, what can I do about it? The answer there is either (1) accept it: teenagers break curfew all the time, it’s nothing personal or (2) work toward change, either with a consequence for breaking curfew or with an incentive to be home on time. With either solution, you have removed the personal affront from the equation, so the anger dissipates. Feel free to express your true emotions when appropriate: I’m worried about your safety or I’m disappointed and frustrated when you’re not responsible. 

Your boss is a certified degrading person who called you irresponsible after you messed up an account. You’re burning with rage. That makes me feel worthless, embarrassed, like a failure. Think: just because he called me an idiot, does that mean I am one? Stop determining your self-worth based on someone else’s judgment of you. As unconventional as this may sound, the same applies to anyone in your life who judges you, including your close friends and family members. Am I really the most selfish husband/friend/parent as alleged?  

With your boss’s comment, be honest with yourself: was that a stupid mistake? If it was, you can be disappointed with yourself and then (1) resolve to do better next time or (2) accept your shortcomings without attempting to improve. Both are valid responses, though the first will help you more in the long run. Then, you can choose what to do about your unpleasant work environment: (1) accept it or (2) work toward change, either by having a frank conversation with the boss or looking for a new job. Yes, itis as simple (although not easy) as that.  

Your sister calls you selfish for not inviting your parents for the hag. You are furious. If you have a legitimate reason for not inviting them, you feel misunderstood and hurt that your sister, who “knows” and loves you, thinks so little of you. You can (1) explain or (2) keep your reason to yourself and be okay with her thinking that you are selfish, because you are confident that you are not selfish.  

On the other hand, if your reasons are selfish, you may feel bad about yourself because she called you out on it. Anger masks your defensiveness and shame over your shortcomings. Now you can (1) admit that selfishness is a fault of yours and try to improve or (2) deny that you are selfish sometimes or simply accept that you would rather not work on it. 

There is no shame in having or expressing emotions – in fact, emotions are crucial for effective relationships and functional living – but anger is damaging and unconstructive. When you are consumed by an emotion – sadness, despair, insecurity – you can consult with a professional, mentor, rabbi, trusted friend, or family member, and learn strategies to cope with it. When you are consumed by anger, there is no effective resolution; that is why it is possible – and life-changing – to eliminate it. 

 

Dr. Yossi Shafer, PhD, is the clinical director and a clinical psychologist at Empower Health Center, a private practice of multispecialty psychotherapists. They have offices in Deal/Long Branch and Lakewood and can be reached at (732) 666-9898 or office@empowerhealthcenter.net

The Mitzvah Man Hotline – Doing Hesed For Others Is Very Volunteer’s Goal

Pnina Souid 

When Mike Cohen set out to start The Mitzvah Man hesed organization he considered which angle to pursue. He decided to leave things open ended, and let Hashem be his Guide. 

In these pages we have presented miracle stories, stories where Siyatta D’Shmaya – literally the Hand of Gd – is very clear, and other stories featuring human kindness exhibited by selfless volunteers. Here are three more inspirational stories from the Mitzvah Man’s files. 

THE LAMBORGHINI, THE MASERATI, AND THE ROLLS ROYCE 

The mother of a very ill 10-year-old boy had a predicament. Her son dreamed of a very special birthday event. He wanted a ride in a Lamborghini, a Maserati, and a Rolls Royce. She knew how important this birthday wish was. But how was she going to find these cars? And she needed the drivers too! 

She called the Mitzvah Man hotline. The organization has a tremendous network of volunteers and friends who are only a text or phone call away. 

On the day of this boy’s birthday three drivers pulled up to his house. One drove up in a Lamborghini, the second was behind the wheel of a Maserati, and the third made his entrance  in a Rolls Royce. They all gave the boy  the rides he dreamed of and made it a fabulously memorable day for everyone involved. 

THE AIR CONDITIONER 

Mr. Frank, a 92-year-old Holocaust survivor was in desperate need of an air conditioner. A week-long heat wave, with temperatures reaching into the high-90s and even low-100s, was forecast and he had no working air conditioner.  

He called the government agency that had previously helped him. They looked in their records and simply said, “Sorry, Mr. Frank. We gave you an air conditioner a few years ago. We cannot provide another one.” 

He was about to despair when he thought to call the Mitzvah Man hotline. Within 48 hours Mr. Frank was the relieved owner of a brand-new air conditioner, expertly installed by the hesed volunteers. 

THE IPADS THAT CHANGED THE LIVES OF TWO SPECIAL NEEDS TEENAGERS 

A rabbi in the community who runs a school for special needs children called the Mitzvah Man with an urgent request. He recently admitted two severely autistic teenagers, who had  no ability to communicate. Although they could grunt they do not have the ability to speak. Their sheer frustration leads them to displays of anger. The rabbi asked for money to purchase two special iPads to enable the boys to communicate. Ordinarily these items are provided to the school but because of a full enrollment before these boys were admitted, the school did not have the iPads for the new students. 

The rabbi explained that with these specifically programed iPads, the user can bring up a picture to describe what he wants. For example, if he wants to eat an apple, he can show an apple on the screen. 

A text was sent out to the Mitzvah Man volunteers asking for donations to purchase two iPads. Thanks to the quick response, the rabbi was able to purchase the iPads right away. 

The rabbi called the Mitzvah Man to report on the unbelievable transformation in these two boys. They were able to communicate! And they were starting to learn! They still could not speak but they were able to show their teachers, their parents, and their classmates what they wanted to say.  

Their parents were so grateful and so impressed. Their children’s behavior was transformed. The anger and cries from frustration turned to laughter and eagerness. 

WHETHER YOU NEED HELP OR WANT TO JOIN US IN OUR  

HESED WORK PLEASE CALL THE MITZVAH MAN! 

The Battle Over the Coney Island Casino Project Continues

ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS  

 

Did you know that the Thor Equities Coney proposal is not the first attempt by developers to “revitalize” the Coney Island Boardwalk?  Casino gambling became legal in Atlantic City in 1976 and casino fever captivated Coney Island investors.  

Atlantic City and Coney Island have been competitors since the late 1800s when both vied for the title of best resort on the East Coast. For a short time during 1979, the asking price for Coney Island Boardwalk real estate increased from $3 to $100 per square foot in anticipation of a casino.   

At that time The Casinos for Coney Committee pushed to permit casino gambling in Coney Island, and a New York State Legislature proposal was considered. However, Donald Trump, son of developer Fred Trump, had casino interests in Atlantic City and was wary of potential competition. His father lobbied strongly against the Legislature’s proposal and the referendum was killed before it reached the voters.  

Recap 

Coney Island is one of three downstate gambling casino sites in the NYC area for which developers/gaming companies are bidding for licenses. 

A 40-page public engagement report was released on July 11 by the office of Brooklyn Borough President Antonio Reynoso. It shows that his office received about three responses that are opposed to the Coney Project for every response in favor.  Over 200 people provided feedback. Reynoso is still undecided about the casino plan. 

 

The Coney Island casino’s champions envision the project providing increased employment, visitors, and money.  Opponents see minimal economic benefits. They point to the disappointing outcomes in Atlantic City, are wary of increased crime and traffic, and note the dangers of having only limited security resources.  They are also concerned about the harmful influence the casino would have on our children and families. 

Review of Key Points. 

The Coney details depend on a request for proposals (RFA) issued by the NYS Gaming Commission in January 2023. The approval process is expected to be lengthy, and no determinations will be made “until sometime later in 2023 at the earliest.”  

Joe Sitt, a real estate developer for Thor Equities, is hoping to be awarded one of the three downstate casino licenses 

Sitt’s goal is to turn Coney Island into a year-round destination instead of a summertime hangout primarily limited to the boardwalk.  Thor is expected to spend $3 billion to redevelop five acres that would include a casino, a roller coaster, an indoor water park, hotels, and museums.   

A Gaming Facility Location Board was tasked to oversee the application process and select the three NYC casino sites.  

After its review, the Board will make recommendations to the Gaming Commission, which is authorized to decide which licenses to award.  

The conditions required for the Gaming Commission to approve a casino application include gaining public support from community advisory committees as well as compliance with state and local zoning laws.  

Applicants to this RFA must first be approved by a community advisory committee and complete the municipal zoning process before the evaluation of any applications.  

The application process allows strong community opposition to defeat a casino bid before state regulators can even review the application. 

For each application, a local Community Advisory Committee was formed to hold public hearings and issue a formal finding of how much community support the proposed casino has. 

At least two-thirds of the committee members must approve the project before state regulators begin evaluating the application. 

  • On March 3rd, Thor’s consortium released renderings for “The Coney.”   
  • The PR is brimming with talk of “economic opportunity, “revitalization,” and “resiliency.” 

 

  • On March 6th, community leaders and activists voiced their views for and against The Coney. The United Front Against Displacement hosted a rally outside the YMCA before a planned meeting with Brooklyn Borough President Reynoso. 

 

  • Protests resumed against The Coney on April 19th. Almost 200 residents gathered at Gargiulo’s Restaurant for an open forum and collided over The Coney’s potential impact on their community. Most of the feedback was negative.  

 

Community Board 13 Chairperson of Coney Island, Lucy Diaz declared: “We don’t want what Atlantic City has. We’re already drowning in traffic half the year. Now you want to bring more traffic in?!” 

Robert Cornegy, a former NYC council member, is a consultant for The Coney and describes his support for the casino in altruistic terms, committing to an economic development agenda. He has knocked on over 16,300 doors to get 4,000 physical signatures in favor of the casino.  

Community Opposition 

 

On April 26th, Community Board 13 members voted online on an official resolution opposing the Coney Island casino.  The resolution passed by an overwhelming vote of 23-8, rejecting the casino proposal.    

The Community Board’s resolution is non-binding, has no legal bearing, and cannot singlehandedly stop the casino project.  However, Community Board 13 includes many local politicians who will have a legal say on the project in the future and the Community Board’s vote does not look promising for the project.  

Councilman Ari Kagan, one of these local politicians, backed the Community Board’s majority vote.  His arguments:  The Coney will bring more traffic, crime, and mental health problems. 

 

The Sephardic Community Federation took a firm stand against the proposed casino.  Spearheading the “No Coney Casino” initiative, the Sephardic Community Federation launched the website noconeycasino.com, urging all community members to join their cause by signing a petition protesting the casino’s approval.   

 

New Developments 

 

  • Thor is finishing its RFA and waiting for NYS to post a submission date. 

 

  • Thor expects its entertainment complex to bring approximately 4,000 union jobs to the neighborhood.  Cornegy believes they will be decent paying, year-round jobs in hospitality, hotel, and gaming.  

 

 

In response, Community Board 13 Chair Diaz says these jobs are not necessarily the best fit for the make-up of the community and wants more information including the percentage of jobs that will go to locals. 

 

New York City Housing Authority Housing:  Another concern is that approximately 11,000 of Community Board 13 residents including Coney Island/Brighton Beach live in NYC Housing Authority public housing.   

 

These residents are required to meet NYCHA lower income criteria to maintain their current rents and therefore may not want to apply for casino jobs.  Coney Island also has a large senior citizen population that only would be seeking part-time work so as not to put their Social Security benefits at risk. 

  

  • Immigrant Residents:  Two of the proposed casino sites are in working-class areas with large populations of immigrants.  In Flushing, some have united to fight the project, fearing that it will do more harm than good. Similarly, a rising number of Coney Island residents are against The Coney, claiming that it would usher in a wave of gentrification that would also destroy Coney Island’s unique character.  

 

The consortium continues to promote that The Coney will bring an economic boom and rejuvenate the iconic and aging boardwalk.  A political consulting firm, Red Horse Strategies, was recently hired to do PR for the project. 

 

NYC Mayor Adams has not backed any specific casino project.  One large hurdle is that NYC zoning laws currently do not permit casinos.  Mayor Adams’ Deputy Press Secretary C.K. Lutvak indicated that Adams’ City of Yes for Economic Opportunity zoning proposal would make it easier for the casino to be built. 

 

Jenny Hernandez, a 30-year-old Mexican immigrant, has lived in Coney Island since she was a child.  In her opinion, The Coney will destroy the cultural diversity of the area.  “They will push us out and push local business out.” 

 What Can You Do? 

Sign the “No Coney Casino” petition electronically, which takes only 30 seconds. Go to noconeycasino.com and simply click where it says, “Sign the petition.” 

 

Contact the officials below to find out who is representing you at the Community Advisory Committee meetings.   

 

Communicate your Questions and Concerns to: 

NY State Senator Jessica Scarcella-Spanton, 718-727-9406.  

Assemblyman Michael Novakhov (District 45), 718-743-4078. 

Local City Council member Ari Kagan (District 47), 718-307-7151. 

Brooklyn Borough President Antonio Reynoso, 718-802–3700. 

Mayor Eric Adams, 311. 

Governor Kathy Hochul, 518-474-8390. 

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.  Ellen is active in her community and is currently the Vice-President of Congregation Bnai Avraham in Brooklyn Heights.  She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com(www.lifecoachellen.com). 

SCA Honors Rabbi Shimon Alouf

Last month, the Sephardic Community Alliance (SCA) held their annual campaign and dinner, graciously hosted by Paulette and Morris Bailey. They honored Hacham Shimon Alouf for his dedication and commitment to our community and our values.

 

SCA President Michael Mishaan opened up the night by introducing the SCA and sharing his involvement and commitment since its inception.

Former president and current trustee Jeffrey J. Beyda then gave an eye-opening presentation, in which he laid out the issues facing our community and the SCA’s role in addressing them.

Joey Harari then gave a touching tribute describing the immense impact Rabbi Alouf has had on our community.

Founder and host Morris Bailey presented Rabbi Alouf with his award on behalf of the SCA and the entire community.

Rabbi Alouf ended off the night by addressing the crowd and expressing his gratitude for the SCA and his support of their mission.

 

Exciting New Book Release!

Ralph Mahana and ArtScroll Publications are proud to announce the launch of a new book, appropriately titled, Very Good.  The book has received rave reviews.

“Your observations are true and uplifting. We are all your students and we can learn from your example.” – Rabbi Yaakov Hillel

“Some people like books on emunah and bitachon – Ralph is a living example of these concepts.”  – Rabbi David Sutton

“The author has turned his challenge into opportunity. He and his book are a source of strength and hope for all that face the tests of life. The book is very impressive, to say the least. Kudos!”  – Rabbi Eli  Mansour

“Unbelievable! Words sent from the heart enter our hearts.” – Rabbi Shlomo Diamond

The book is now available to order on Amazon or from ArtScroll at www.artscroll.com.

Prioritizing the Needs of the 11th Legislative District

By Assemblywomen Kim Eulner and Marilyn Piperno

As your 11th Legislative District representatives, we are committed to prioritizing the needs of our constituents. Unfortunately, that’s why we were forced to oppose this year’s state budget in several key areas.

First and foremost, our schools are in desperate need of more funding. Fully funded schools benefit our students and contribute to the development of our entire community. However, this budget fails to provide the necessary resources to support our schools adequately.

Additionally, property taxes continue to burden our constituents and make homeownership unaffordable for many. Unfortunately, this budget does not offer significant tax relief, leaving our citizens struggling to make ends meet.

Furthermore, millions of dollars have been taken from municipal property tax offset programs, adding more financial burden to our towns and hampering their ability to provide essential services.

On top of these concerns, the misuse of taxpayer money is a serious issue. The governor’s spending spree on unnecessary projects is 50 percent higher than during the previous administration. Secret projects, such as a municipal marina, a dominoes club, a jazz radio station, a French art museum, and cultural projects, lack transparency and leave taxpayers in the dark about how their money is being used

Our constituents deserve a budget that prioritizes their well-being and addresses the pressing needs of our communities. We will use our office to fight for increased education funding, effective property tax relief, and a more transparent and accountable budgeting process

Etz Haim: Shining Light on the Parasha

Rabbi Amram Sananes and Jack Rahmey’s new book, Etz Haim: Shining Light on the Parasha, is now available to purchase at Eichlers, Mekor Judaica, and Tehilat Yitzchak in Brooklyn.

This book of compiled essays on the weekly parasha includes meaningful and heartwarming stories, commentaries by esteemed talmidei hachamim, and concise, easy-to-read lessons that the whole family will appreciate. These divrei Torah will perfectly enhance every Shabbat table!