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Preparing for a Family Wedding

You pick up the phone and soak in the wonderful news: They’re finally engaged! And the wedding date has already been set. You feel a bit lightheaded when you hear that the big day is in a month or two! 

The future bride or groom may be a sibling, in-law, or other close relative, and we know the preparation for any family wedding is surrounded by much excitement and anticipation. In our community, where engagements are relatively short and the wedding happens pretty quickly, those who need to prepare for it can feel delight tinged with a sense of overwhelm. Here are some steps you can take to ease the pressure and help ensure that you and your children can all arrive at the hall calm and ready to bring lots of joy to the bride and groom. 

Right Together, Left Together 

So you hear that some, or even all, of your children will be marching down the aisle before the kallah makes her grand entrance. Whether your children are toddlers or pre-teens, it is best for them to practice marching in advance.  But there is no need for “marching practice” to be as pressure-filled as homework. This is the perfect opportunity to use your creative side and turn it into a game. 

Stage a mock-wedding in your home, and let each of your children rehearse marching down the hallway. Teach each child to start with the right foot, and then bring the left foot forward so the two feet are side-by-side. Show them how to take the same step once again, this time leading with the left foot. Demonstrate how to make this into a cohesive march, and rehearse until they are able to make it all the way down the makeshift aisle.  

In a few weeks’ time, when your children find themselves in a colossal brightly-lit room, with hundreds of people surrounding them and the rose-covered huppah facing them, they will be prepared to give a flawless march! 

Petticoats and Tuxedos 

Each child needs special wedding attire to wear to the big event. Younger girls will shine in flower-girl dresses, and the older ones will wear ball gowns. Younger boys will look adorable in miniature tuxedos, and the older ones will do fine in freshly-pressed suits. 

You have the option to buy something new for each child, but for a more economical route, visit one of the numerous community wedding gemachs or bring out the wardrobe from a past family wedding and ask a good tailor to make a few changes. Adding rhinestones, ribbons, and lace are great ways to bring fresh accents to a tired look. Whatever you decide to dress your children in, make sure all outfits are tailored, cleaned, and pressed at least a week in advance. 

Get a Sitter 

Of course, even the tiniest members of your family have been invited to the wedding, and they are all expected to attend. However, little children need constant supervision, which is quite difficult to provide when you are busy greeting guests and dancing with the bride or her mother. So it’s best to hire a babysitter or find a family friend who is willing to attend the wedding and offer an extra set of hands. When the pictures and ceremony are done, you can bring  the babysitter and your small children home, settle everyone in, and return to the wedding assured that everyone is supervised and getting a good night’s sleep. 

Speaking of Sleep… 

It’s going to be a long night! So even if you plan on bringing your children home in the middle of the wedding, make sure all of them (yes, even the ones that claim they are not tired!) get some rest the day of. The last thing you want is for your children to be bleary-eyed and hysterical during the wedding. So, set aside some naptime in the hours before the wedding, so everyone is alert, awake, and excited for this most special evening. 

Family weddings are special occasions that only come along every so often. That is why it’s so important to give children the tools to capture the joy of the moment. Prepare ahead of time so that when the night of the wedding finally arrives, your family will be ready to revel in the celebration

Once Upon a Thyme – Orange Creamsicle Ice Pops

ADINA YAAKOV

Nothing beats the summer warmth quite like a refreshing cold treat. This creamsicle recipe uses 
tangy orange juice concentrate along with sweet vanilla cream, which results in a satisfying 
combination of sweet but tart. Be sure to make a double batch to keep in your freezer for 
whenever your sweet tooth strikes. Please note that the orange juice concentrate in this recipe 
is not reconstituted, it is blended with coconut milk and sugar to make the orange sorbet. 
 

Recipe:
2 cans coconut milk
1 cup sugar
1 can Pure Frozen Orange Juice Concentrate with No Pulp
1 8 oz container of non-dairy topping (like RichWhip)
1 tsp vanilla extract
 

Directions:
1. Whip non-dairy topping according to instructions with vanilla extract until stiff peaks form.
Set aside.
2. Place coconut milk, sugar, and slightly thawed orange juice concentrate into a food
processor and blend.
3. Carefully pour orange/coconut mixture into about ¾ of the ice pop molds. Place Whip on
top of the coconut/orange mixture, being careful to fill and press down to prevent any air
pockets.
4. Place the popsicle stick inside and freeze for 7 hours or overnight. Run warm water over
the mold to remove ice pop.  

  1. Keep frozen in an airtight container separated by parchment paper until ready to serve.

M&S Summer Night League Gears Up with Top Notch Captains at the Helm

Sam Sutton 

M&S is heading into their 15th season as the community’s premiere softball night league. This year M&S is excited to welcome back its generous sponsors for the 2022 season, Zeh Arak and Mill Basin Yeshiva Academy. 

The 2022 M&S summer night league season is just few weeks away and that means it’s time to introduce this summer’s cast of captains. 

Sammy Esses and Teddy Ishak 

The tandem of Sammy Esses and Teddy Ishak are back, and they will be going for their third consecutive World Series title. This is a feat that has never been done before and the target will be squarely on their backs

Michael “Sabon” Salomon 

M&S’s first ever inducted hall of famer Michael “Sabon” Salomon has his eyes set on his fifth title as a captain. After losing in last season’s World Series, “Sabon” has had a long offseason. 

Michael Cohen 

League legend Michael Cohen will making his rookie debut as a captain. Michael is one of the most decorated players in league history. To his credit, “MC” is a three-time MVP award winner, four-time Gold Glove award winner, and two-time champion.

Albert Sitt 

In his fifth season in the league, Albert Sitt, who captained the expansion team 1.5 back in his rookie year in 2018, was fortunate to be M&S’s captain lottery winner last season for a right to captain a team. Albert has two World Series championships in his young career along with two Gold Gloves in RF.  

Raymond “Berry”  Esses 

M&S stalwart Raymond “Berry”  Esses is back at the helm. Berry is no stranger to winning, as he has five championships to his credit and was an integral part of each of them. When it comes to professionalism and captaincy, Raymond is the one who comes to mind.

Steven J. Gindi 

In his tenth season in M&S, Steven J. Gindi is back as a captain for the sixth consecutive season. Steven is notorious for being one of the best on-field captains in the league. Steven has captained a World Series title team back in 2017 and is yearning for another opportunity to hoist the cup.

Aaron “Hank” Dweck 

The seventh and final captain this upcoming season is Aaron “Hank” Dweck. Entering his eighth season in the league, “Hank has accomplished what some have not done in their careers. Hank is a Rookie of the Year winner, Gold Glove winner, Batting Title winner, Comeback Player of the Year winner, and lastly an MVP winner. The one piece of hardware missing from Hanks’ trophy case is a championship.

To stay up to date on all league multimedia including highlight reels of games and talk shows where league commissioners give their in-depth analysis on all league news – follow the league’s Instagram @MandS_Baseball and the league’s YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/samjsutton.

The Holiness of the Wedding Day

“Kol sasson vekol simhah, kol hatan vekol kallah…” 

In the footsteps of a young couple’s engagement comes a dizzying whirlwind of preparation for the upcoming wedding. Shopping for gowns, furniture, suits as well finding an apartment takes over a good chunk of the schedule of the soon-to-be bride and groom. And as they run around, preparing for their new life together, it becomes easy to forget about just that: that they are preparing to spend the rest of their lives together.  

Before the couple knows it, the countdown on the calendar winds down until it has been entirely crossed off, and the wedding day arrives. On this day, that the couple has dreamed of for so long, it is natural to become submerged in the nitty-gritty – getting dressed for the occasion, taking pictures and greeting guests – nearly forgetting what this most extraordinary day is all about. 

It is crucial for the couple to take a step back from the flurry of activity that surrounds the day, and recognize that the wedding is, in fact, the foundation of their future. The wedding day, encased in purity and sanctity, gives the couple a unique opportunity as they cross over the threshold from singlehood into married life. 

The Gates of Heaven Stand Wide Open 

The Talmud Yerushalmi states that on their wedding day, a bride and groom are granted complete atonement for all their sins. In essence, this makes the wedding day a kind of “Yom Kippur” for the couple. As they stand pure, their prayers on this day are especially powerful. Prior to the wedding, a couple should be aware that the gates of prayer are wide open to them throughout this holy time, and particularly as they stand underneath the huppah where the Shechinah dwells.  

The couple should do all that they can to seize this prime opportunity for tefillah. Yes, enjoying the wedding is also of upmost importance, but the bride and groom should each take time to beseech Hashem for a peaceful, loving, and joyous home. These prayers create a seed that will form the root of their bayit ne’eman be’Yisrael, and with Hashem’s help, bear blessing, health, peace, and prosperity throughout the rest of their lives.  

Take Notes 

It is normal for the couple to become overwhelmed, and in the excitement of the moment, forget what they intended to pray for. Therefore, it is a good idea for the bride and groom to take time before the wedding to write a list of what they wish to pray for.  

When penning the list, the bride and groom should note that this is a time to ask for a successful marriage, children, health. and longevity. They can also ask for family members, friends, and community members to have success in all their endeavors. Adding to the list the names of those who are sick and struggling, and keeping them in mind during this holy day, is a beautiful act of giving. The couple can also pray for the wellbeing of the Jewish people as a whole and for Mashiah to come speedily and peacefully in our days.  

A Day of Prayers and Blessings for All 

Hundreds of people come out to rejoice with the bride and groom on their wedding day, and during the huppah, the guests should also take advantage of this momentous occasion to pray. As mentioned, the Shehinah is present during the huppah, and each guest should ensure to make the most of this unique opportunity for prayer. It is crucial to respect the holiness of the day by sitting quietly and dressing and behaving in a modest fashion.  

When dancing with the guests, the bride and groom can once again take the time to bless each one, wishing health, happiness and success for all. The Talmud teaches, “Anyone who prays for his fellow and he has that same need – he is answered first.” And so, when a bride and groom bless and pray for others, they are effectively making the best possible investment, as these tefillot will, with Hashem’s help, increase their own future happiness and success. 

Note to the bride and groom: you have a unique power of prayer on your wedding day, and you can use it to give to others and build a solid foundation for your own lives. So, as you walk into a beautiful life together, make it all the more beautiful by clutching onto the holiness of your wedding day and pouring out your hearts in prayer. 

The Scientific Wisdom of the Sages

How the Rabbis in the Gemara were Familiar with Scientific Truths Long Before Modern Research

Even in ancient times, people knew about medicine and cures for certain conditions. The Gemara mentions cures for many different maladies, including at least one cure that is more advanced than what medical technology offers today. It describes a type of surgery to remove a brain tumor, involving a drug given to the patient to put him to sleep, and a mixture of herbs that was boiled, cooled, and poured on the patient’s head until his skull became soft, allowing it to be cut open and the growth removed. Two millennia before MRIs and CT scans, medical practitioners had a method for determining the exact location of a brain tumor, and an incredibly detailed understanding of human anatomy.

Unfortunately, many, if not all, of those remedies were specific to that era, and with time, directions for their use were forgotten, as was much of the medical wisdom presented in the Talmud.

The Discovery of Bacteria

In recent centuries, of course, we have seen remarkable advances in the field of medicine. Before the microscope revealed to us the hidden world of bacteria, physicians never imagined that there exist creatures which are invisible to the naked eye.

The size of an average bacterium is about two microns by half a micron (a micron being a millionth of a meter, or a millionth of 39.37 inches). This means that laid end to end, there are 500,000 bacteria in a meter (or in 39.37 inches), or 2,000,000 lying side by side.

The first step towards discovering the existence of bacteria was taken by the Dutch scientist Antony van Leeuwenhoek (1632-1723), using an early form of microscope which he helped develop. This was a simple brass plate fitted with a single lens capable of magnifying 200 times. Despite its relatively weak power, it allowed Leeuwenhoek to discern tiny creatures moving within materials taken from between people’s teeth.

But it was only in the second half of the 19th century that the existence of bacteria and their role in transmitting disease was finally verified. The famous French scientist Louis Pasteur (1822-1895) was the most important 19th century researcher of microorganisms and their relationship to various diseases. After discovering the existence of bacteria, Pasteur introduced disinfectant methods into hospitals and clinics to rid them of these invisible menaces. Prior to Pasteur’s work, a single dirty scalpel might have been used to perform multiple surgeries, unwittingly transferring bacteria from one patient to another, thus resulting in an extremely high death rate among surgery patients. No one had previously drawn a connection between the bacteria-laden instruments and patient deaths. After Pasteur introduced his disinfectant methods, patient death rates dropped sharply.

Continuing his research, Pasteur found that heat could destroy harmful bacteria present in cow’s milk. As a result of this discovery, millions of infants previously unable to breastfeed were saved from death, as they were able to ingest cow’s milk. The process he developed was subsequently named after him – pasteurization.

Germs in the Talmud

Remarkably, the notion of invisible harmful bacteria is mentioned in ancient Jewish texts. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 170:16) rules:

“A person shall not drink from a cup and then give it to another, because of life-threatening dangers.”

The Taz commentary explains this ruling based on a teaching of the Tanna Rabbi Eliezer:

“For perhaps there is an illness in his body, which might go from his mouth into the cup, making his friend ill.”

Further evidence that the sages knew of the existence of microbes and bacteria may be drawn from the following statement of the Gemara (Avoda Zara 28a), written some 1,600 years ago:

“Shmuel said: An open wound caused by a piece of iron is to be regarded as life-threatening, and one is allowed to violate Shabbat [to treat it].”

Shabbos desecration is permitted only for the purpose of treating life-threatening illnesses, and therefore, treating a simple wound is generally forbidden on Shabbos if it entails a Shabbat violation. However, when a wound was caused by a piece of iron, it should be treated even with procedures that involve Shabbat desecration, because even a superficial wound of this type can be life-threatening.

Brilliance of Our Torah Sages

Did medical experts of the time find this statement puzzling, seeing that it refers to a relatively minor wound? And why is such a wound considered life-threatening?

Today, we know that rusty iron contains bacteria that can cause a tetanus infection, also known as lockjaw, and that the entry of these bacteria into the body through even a superficial wound can ultimately be lethal. The Torah sages knew this before the advent of modern science.

Scientific opinion at the time (and till centuries later) denied any connection between superficial wounds and life-threatening illness. Indeed, before the discovery of bacteria, there was no good reason to imagine that a small wound could cause death. Non-Jewish medical experts would have claimed that the patient died from some previous, internal disease. And undoubtedly, they would not have recommended that a Jew violate Shabbat to treat a patient under such circumstances. Yet, despite the sages’ efforts to preserve the sanctity of Shabbat, they were not ready to accept the current medical opinion in this case. Their knowledge had been passed on from generation to generation, and they knew that a wound caused by iron could be life-threatening. Appropriately, they gave practical instructions to treat such a wound, big or small, on Shabbat, even if this required desecrating Shabbat, as it could cause a massive lethal infection. Eventually, scientists reached the same conclusion through their research.

Pasteurization Before Pasteur

Even more astonishingly, there is reason to believe that our sages were aware of the concept of pasteurization – the use of heat to destroy bacteria.

The Gemara (Chulin 84b) emphasizes the importance of drinking liquids only after they have been boiled:

“Rabbi Yochanan said: [Drink] a cupful of witchcraft, but not a cupful of tepid water.”

Rabbi Yochanan warns that drinking a cup of non-boiled water poses greater danger than drinking a witch’s brew. We must remember that at the time, water was drawn primarily from wells and cisterns and did not undergo the standard purification processes performed today.

Another story told in the Gemara (Bava Metzia 83b) demonstrates that the sages of the time also understood the importance of maintaining strict cleanliness during surgical procedures. Rabbi Elazar, the son of Rabbi Shimon ben Yochai, underwent an operation, whereby “he was given a sleeping draught, taken into a marble chamber and had his abdomen opened…” Note that the surgery was performed in a marble-lined room, which is easier to clean and keep dust-free. Undoubtedly, a special chamber had been designed to maintain the highest level of cleanliness, provide the proper environment for the surgery, and prevent the patient’s body from infection.

Conclusion

Thus, the sages have said: “Probe into the Torah over and over” – that is, examine it again and again as deeply as possible – “for everything is in it – for all that you need, you will find there.”

Modern Science in Ancient Texts

It is quite remarkable that through the study of the Torah, our sages that lived some 2,000 years ago, already knew the following:

* Tiny, invisible creatures exist in our natural world.

* These invisible creatures, now called bacteria, can cause the transmission of infectious diseases from one person to another.

* Bacteria are present throughout the sick person’s body – including in bodily secretions, like saliva – and not only in the affected organ.

* We should therefore be careful not to drink from someone else’s cup, in case he is sick and the bacteria in his saliva prove contagious.

* This applies regardless of whether the person is healthy or not, for a person may carry bacteria that do not harm him, but can be dangerous to other

Face Your Fears

You will probably identify with this fairly common occurrence. You are busy bustling around the house – taking care of this and that, your mind preoccupied with the multiple tasks at hand – when you suddenly turn a corner and let out a shriek of fright at the sight of an “intruder.” The startling moment, though, rapidly gives way to a feeling of intense relief, as your brain quickly processes the fact that this unexpected person is not a dangerous thief, but is a non-threatening family member. Phew!

The Relief Response

This relief response is a uniquely human characteristic according to neuropsychiatrist Dr. Katherine Brownlowe, Chief of Neurobehavioral Health at Ohio State University. “When stress activates the amygdala – it temporarily overrides conscious thought so that the body can divert all of its energy to facing the (perceived) threat,” Brownlowe said. The release of neurochemicals and hormones causes an increase in heart rate and breathing, shunts blood away from the intestines, and sends more blood to the muscles. It puts all the brain’s attention into ‘fight-or-flight’.”

But there is a difference in the ways humans and animals deal with fear. “We can get startled,” explained Brownlowe, “but instead of running away like bunny rabbits, we reassess the situation and figure out that we don’t need to respond in a ‘fight-or-flight’ manner. And then we can just get on with our day.” So that ability to take a step back and rationally assess the situation is something that sets us apart from the animal kingdom.

“Amazingly enough, a large portion of humanity seeks out fearful experiences, like riding roller coasters or viewing terrifying media programs. Is fear pleasurable for them? According to Brownlowe, no. What they are enjoying is the ensuing chemical euphoria. “Once the ‘fight-or-flight’ signals cease,” Brownlowe elaborated, “the brain releases neurotransmitters and hormones that mediate… ‘rest-and-digest’… heart rate [comes] down, breathing is slowing, goose bumps are relaxing. There’s a sense of internal cognitive relief in the body, and that feels good.”

Strategy to Calm Your Fears

Brownlowe postulates that this can help people face life’s inevitable stressors and anxieties. For example, “If you are anxious about talking to your boss about getting a raise, and then you get the [wits] scared out of you, then talking to your boss is no big deal.”

I guess Brownlowe’s motto would be: if you’re scared, scare yourself even more! This is like the desensitization component inherent in the CBT approach of psychotherapy. A noted director of a psychotherapy clinic once put it this way: “If you’re scared of spiders and are locked in a room full of spiders for a week, do you think you’ll still be scared of spiders at the end of that week?” Perhaps not, if you survive the ordeal and don’t die from fear.

The Brisker Rav’s “Ein Od Milvado” Approach

Not surprisingly, we Jews seem to have a divergent tradition in dealing with fear. “Ein od milvado” is the mantra, says Rav Chaim Volozhiner, that can trump any fearful situation. Intently focusing on the fact that there is not even one subatomic particle in the entire universe that exists without the will of its Creator, neutralizes the influence of perceived negative forces.

The Brisker Rav employed this tactic during his escape from German-conquered Poland during the Holocaust. Numerous times, doom seemed inevitable as Jews underwent German soldiers’ inspections, and the resultant release – which the Rav attributed exclusively to focusing on “ein od milvado” – was nothing short of miraculous. Tapping into the higher consciousness that there is no power whatsoever besides the Creator lifts a person above all the perilous sources of fear and propels him into a realm where the only thing that exists is the will of Hashem.

Rabbi Avigdor Miller’s Teaching – Life’s Two Roads

Of course, it’s no simple feat to emulate the Brisker Rav. Rabbi Avigdor Miller once said that life’s journey has two roads:

The super-fast highway and the slow, winding country road. The highway of life is “gam zu l’tovah”: recognizing that absolutely everything is an expression of Hashem’s will and is thus for the person’s benefit.

The low road, Rav Miller said, is “gam zeh yaavor,” this too will pass. Realizing that a negative situation – as painful, fearsome, or unpleasant as it may be – will eventually fade into the oblivion of history past.

The preferred, more efficient route is gam zu l’tovah. But not everyone can navigate that path, so Hashem gave us another, workable route called gam zeh yaavor. But there is no reason why anyone should have to resign himself to isolated mediocrity. Even while making use of lower-consciousness methods such as “this too shall pass” or “if you’re scared, scare yourself some more,” we can remain cognizant of the fact that another approach does exist.

That is the approach of gam zu l’tovah and ein od milvado. That awareness alone connects us to this superior approach and gives us a part in it. And who knows, maybe, just maybe, we will sometimes manage to infuse a bit of that higher consciousness directly into our lives.

Hiking and Bonding

Hiking and Bonding

Rabbi Topas bonding with his students.

Last month, Magen David High School students enjoyed an inspirational trip with their rebbes. Rabbi Meyer Topas brought his gemara class on a special trip to Bushkill Falls along with Rabbi E. Bitton, as a special reward for the boys’ excellent learning. They went on a 2.5-mile trail hike and were treated to beautiful scenery and waterfalls. The rabbis and students all enjoyed being together while taking in Hashem’s beautiful world! After the hike, they enjoyed a BBQ lunch at a beautiful picnic spot. A great time was had by all!

Support the SHM’s Ukraine Rescue Mission

The world has been shocked and horrified by the images of death and destruction coming out of Ukraine, in what has become the fastest growing humanitarian crisis in Europe since World War II. More than two million refugees, primarily women and children, have already fled Ukraine and many within Ukraine are also displaced.

The Sephardic Heritage Museum is conducting their own “Ukraine Rescue Mission” to try to save as many Jewish lives as possible with the help of our entire community globally.

All monies collected go directly to help our brothers and sisters in Ukraine. The funds raised will be used for evacuating families and getting them to safety and also will be used to pay for food and shelter.

As you can see in the news every day, the situation continues to get worse, if that is possible to comprehend.

All donations to help the Ukraine Rescue Mission are processed through The Sephardic Heritage Museum, and every penny of your donation goes towards this mission.

To donate funds via credit card, go to: Donate – Sephardic Heritage Museum.

To find out how to get involved, contact Rabbi Raymond Sultan at: rsultan@theshm.com.

Jewish Teenager Attacked in Midwood

A Jewish teenager walking in the heavily Jewish neighborhood of Midwood in Brooklyn, was punched in the face by an attacker because he wouldn’t say, “Free Palestine.”

The victim and his friend, both 18-year-old yeshivah students, were walking down Avenue M at approximately 2pm, when they realized they were being followed by a group of Arab teens.

One of the teens approached them and demanded that they say, “Free Palestine.” When the students ignored him, the assailant allegedly punched one of them, giving him a bloody eye.

The attacker and the other teens with him fled the scene. The victim was taken to the hospital by Hatzalah paramedics. No arrests have been made in the case.

New York State Senator Simcha Felder, who represents the neighborhood, is personally offering a $5,000 reward for information leading to the arrest and prosecution of the attacker. Felder made the announcement on Twitter, saying “Enough is enough! These attacks must end!”

The assault follows two others within the week, including an attack in the Crown Heights neighborhood of Brooklyn in which a rabbi was beaten by a man who yelled, “The Nazis should have killed you Jews.”

According to the Anti-Defamation League, the highest number of anti-Semitic attacks recorded in the United States took place last year with 2,717 reported cases, more than 330 of them occurring in New York State.

The Lighter Side – June 2022

Interview Skills

Ralph: How are the interviews going for the new insurance salesman?

Eddie: We had one very interesting applicant. Where the form requested “prior experience,” he wrote “lifeguard,” that was it, nothing else. I told him, “We’re looking for someone who can not only sell insurance, but who can sell himself – how does working as a lifeguard pertain to salesmanship?”

Ralph: So, you’re still looking to fill the position, right?

Eddie: No, we hired him.

Ralph: The lifeguard!? Why, what impressed you about his experience?

Eddie: He didn’t know how to swim.

Ezra Cohen

Exercise Visualization

A woman needed encouragement to keep pedaling the exercise bike in his gym. So my friend, the gym manager, said, “Close your eyes and imagine you’re riding along Broadway in New York City – it will be more interesting.”

Inspired, the woman cycled on, but after a minute she stopped.

“What’s wrong?” asked my friend.

She replied, “The traffic light is red.”

Ralph Ades

College Currency

Stanley: “I don’t like to brag, but I am putting two kids through college.”

Bob: “Really? I didn’t even know you had one kid, let alone two!”

Stanley: “I don’t…they both belong to my auto mechanic.”

Abe Cohen

Mixed up Math

Teacher: “Alfred, if your father had ten dollars and you asked for four dollars how much money does your dad have left?”

Alfred: “Ten.”

Teacher: “No Alfred, I’m afraid that’s not correct. The correct answer is six. It looks like you don’t know your math very well.”

Alfred: “No it’s not, the answer is ten – it looks like you don’t know my father very well!”

Aaron Yanai

The Three Swimmers

Three men each made a bet that they would be the only one with enough strength to swim 1,000 yards from one island to another. The first swimmer tried and swam 300 yards before he got tired and decided to swim back. The second man then began, and after swimming out 400 yards, he got tired and swam back. The last swimmer was confident that he would be able to complete the distance. He swam 300 yards, 500 yards, 700 yards, 900 yards, 950 yards – but then he gets tired, so he swims back.

Sol J. Wahba

Relation Ship

My friend wanted a boat more than anything. His wife was very adamantly against it. He bought it anyway. “I’ll tell you what,” he told her. “In the spirit of compromise, why don’t you name the boat?” Being a good sport, she accepted. When the husband went to the dock for his maiden voyage, the name that he saw she painted on the side was…”For Sale.”

Odette Ades

The Language of Chemistry

Teacher: Billy, what is the chemical formula for water?

Billy: H I J K L M N O.

Teacher: What are you talking about?

Billy: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.

Rachel Grazi

Bug Spray Store

I went to a store to buy insecticide. “Is this good for beetles?” I asked the clerk.

“No,” he replied. “It’ll kill them.”

Pauleen Hazan

The Automatic Signal

I noticed that we’re really living in an automated society – especially in New York City. It seems that anywhere in the city, whenever a traffic signal light turns green, it automatically activates the horn of the car behind you.

Jack V. Grazi

Wait and Waiter

Barry was at his favorite eatery when he called over the waiter. “Yes?” asked the busy waiter. “Are you sure you’re the waiter I ordered from?” asked Barry. “Yes, why do you ask?” replied the waiter. “Because,” he quipped, “I was expecting a much older man by now.”

David I. Bergman

The Chicken Coup

A woman walked into a store and requested a chicken. The butcher, who only had one bird left, didn’t want the woman to think that she was getting leftover stock; so, he reached into his ice box and pulled out the lone chicken without letting on that it was the last one.

“That one is too skinny, do you have one a little larger?” she asked.

“Of course,” said the butcher. He took the chicken behind the counter, away from view and made a lot of noise rolling it around the ice as if he were searching for just the right chicken. He then pulled out the same chicken and showed it to her.

“Better,” she said. “Do you have one that’s a little prettier?”

The butcher took the chicken, rolled it in the ice again and offered it up a third time.

“Great,” the woman said. Relieved and proud of his clever ploy, the butcher was about to wrap the bird up for the lady when she said… “I’ll take all three.”

David Djmal

Patient

After finally being called in to see the doctor, Joe was led into a room and told to remove his shoes. The nurse asked him to step on the scale and said, “I need to get your weight today.”

Without hesitation, Joe replied, “One hour and 45 minutes!”

Isaac Sutton

Hygiene High Jinks

At a recent lunch by the local sandwich shop, I watched the woman behind the counter spreading mayonnaise on my bread, and noticed part of her stained work shirt was dragging across it. “Excuse me,” I called, “your sleeve is in the mayo.”

“Don’t worry,” she assured me, “I need to wash it anyway.”

Albert C.

Budget Pilots

As the passengers on the budget airline prepared for departure, two blind men with dark glasses and wearing pilot uniforms board the plane. As they make their way through the aisle, one is using a guide dog, and the other using a walking stick, nervous laughter spreads through the cabin. When the men enter the cockpit and the engines start up, the passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a practical joke.

 

Moments later, the plane begins speeding faster and faster down the runway. Soon, the people sitting in the window seats realize that they’re headed straight for freeway at the edge of the airport. As it begins to look as though the plane will plough into traffic, panicked screams fill the cabin. At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly and soon all retreat into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

In the cockpit, one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, “Ya know, Bob, one of these days, they’re gonna scream too late…”

Joey Harary

A Career Journey: Anything But Straight and Narrow, Hosted By PROPEL

An inspiring, live-streamed program, A Career Journey: Anything But Straight and Narrow, featured a mother-daughter duo Cynthia (Cindy) Ades and Pauline Ades Hayes. It was wonderful to see Cindy’s and Pauline’s husbands in the audience, beaming with pride over their wives’ accomplishments. There were many family members and friends in the audience there too, cheering on the panelists! 

The program was moderated by PROPEL’s career coach and true superstar, Caroll Dweck Sutton. Caroll began by asking each of the panelists to describe her career journey.  

Pauline grew up in Deal and attended Hillel Yeshiva. She said that when she graduated high school, she “somehow convinced her parents to let her go to Binghamton for college.” Pauline majored in accounting, and she obtained an internship at Deloitte & Touche. After graduation, she began working at Deloitte, but, after two years she realized accounting was not the right profession for her. After some self-reflection, Pauline determined that she really enjoyed mentoring and recruiting. She decided to change her career course! It was not easy, but through networking, Pauline obtained a job as a headhunter, initially focusing on recruiting for accounting and finance positions.  

Pauline explains that she took a leap of faith – along with a pay cut – as she pivoted and started down a different career path. After over three years as a headhunter, Pauline ecstatically describes that she obtained a coveted position as an in-house recruiter at Capital One. After several years at Capital One, Pauline moved to Google. Pauline is currently a recruiter at Google, where she supports recruiting for Senior Software Engineers. She lives in Englewood with her husband and two children.  

Cindy initially worked in the retail industry, but stopped working when she was blessed with  children. She was a stay-at-home mother until her youngest child, Pauline, started kindergarten. At that time, Cindy felt it was financially prudent to have a part-time job to help pay for the extras for her children (such as dance and baseball lessons). As her children grew, Cindy’s part-time position developed into a full-time position in a corporate retail organization, Ritmo Latino, where she held various purchasing responsibilities.  

After 14 years of working as a Purchasing Agent/Director, Cindy pivoted into a new role that was offered to her within the same organization. She was given the opportunity to become a Human Resources Director, where she was able to expand her knowledge and experience working on employee benefits, recruiting and hiring, employee relations, and payroll. Cindy took a chance. Her motto was, “I have nothing to lose!” After three years in that position, Cindy decided she needed a change, and focused on obtaining a position doing what she really enjoyed – recruiting and hiring. She feels grateful that others took a chance on her at a large construction engineering company and gave her an opportunity ten years ago by hiring her.  

Today, Cindy has extensive experience in human resources, which includes talent acquisition for large global construction and engineering firms. Cindy is truly passionate about the industry and is always looking to learn more so she can better assist and understand the needs of the business she works with. Her accomplishments include: running recruitment for the entire construction management organization within AECOM, and leading national recruitment for Skanska, including the ramp up of their largest project to date, for LaGuardia Airport.  

The audience applauded and cheered when Cindy shared that she is in the process of completing her bachelors! She explained that she was in college when she got engaged to her husband and had put her education on hold. 

Cindy and Pauline shared their five top interviewing tips. They also shared key resume tips and general advice. The panelists stressed that it is important to be energetic when interviewing for a position – showing that you are motivated is key. It is also essential to prepare before an interview, researching both the company and the position for which you are applying.  

Additionally, the panelists stressed that you should never stop learning and obtaining new skills. Cindy emphatically mentioned that she was fueled by the naysayers who doubted that she could achieve something in the workplace. She made it her goal to prove those people wrong by learning and being diligent!  

If you missed this inspirational program, you can still watch it on PROPEL’s Instagram @PropelNetwork! 

_________________________________________ 

PROPEL 646-494-0822 | info@thepropelnetwork.org | Instagram @PropelNetwork  

Please reach out to PROPEL:  

*If you are interested in a career or career advice. We can help you take the steps to fulfill your professional goals and dreams. 

*If you are interested in joining PROPEL’s cohort of mentors in PROPEL’s “Weaving a Network: Women Helping Women” program or being paired with a mentor. 

From the Files of the Mitzvah Man – Mitzvah Man’s Five Day Miracle Week

Mitzvah Man is used to feeling Hashem’s miracles, as the unexpected happens frequently as he and his team do their hesed work. Not long ago, he experienced what he called “The Five-Day Miracle Week.” Every single day, from Monday through Friday, was blessed with incredible incidents filled with siyatta d’shmaya. Let’s follow along! 

MONDAY  

“We got a call from someone whose father is a renowned rabbi,” the Mitzvah Man recalled.  

The son said, “I need an oven for the rabbi but don’t want to deplete money from your organization. A used oven would be fine.” 

Although from time to time the organization gets donations of appliances, no ovens had been donated for quite a while. The Mitzvah Man scratched his head. 

“I also need a recliner for the rabbi. We’ll take a used one.” 

However, no recliners had been donated in a long time, either. 

Mitzvah Man replied, “We will keep it in mind.”  

That very day Mitzvah Man received a call. 

“Does anyone need an oven? I am getting a new one. My old one is in good condition, and I would like to donate it.” 

“Terrific!” Mitzvah Man exclaimed, “We got a call for an oven today.” 

The Mitzvah Man hotline volunteers were all amazed. But there was more to come.

TUESDAY 

The caller requested a hospital bed with a new mattress. Mitzvah Man told him that they do not receive donations of hospital beds very often, but he will put it on his list. 

That same day a call came in from someone with a hospital bed to donate. 

Amazing, such hashgacha pratit! 

WEDNESDAY 

A woman called in distress. Her laptop was broken – totally unusable. She makes her parnassa (livelihood) with the computer and must have a working laptop. 

Not long after she hung up with the Mitzvah Man volunteer, he received a text. “Does anyone need a laptop? I have a brand-new laptop to donate that is in its original package.” 

What were the chances?! 

THURSDAY 

The caller told the Mitzvah Man volunteer, “My mother needs a chairlift. It has become too difficult for her to go up and down the stairs in the house. Do you have one for her? It must be left side banister, five feet.” 

Certainly, chairlifts are not an everyday item that people call to donate, but on that Thursday, the Mitzvah Man Organization received a call from a person who wanted to know if anyone needed a chairlift that is left side banister, five feet. 

Wow! We are certainly dear in the eyes of Hashem, thought the Mitzvah Man volunteer. 

FRIDAY 

On Friday afternoon, shortly before the start of Shabbat, the Mitzvah Man received a text message, “I have a leather chair to donate.”  Mitzvah Man texted back, “A recliner?” The answer was.  “YES.” 

The Mitzvah Man felt extra gratitude as he got ready for Shabbat that week. There were five difficult requests in five days and all of them were fulfilled by Hashem. 

A FIVE-DAY MIRACLE WEEK!