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The Journey: “Clear to Close”

You’ve hoped. You wished. You even dreamt of buying a home and turning into your own. But what did it take to get there? You read a lot of ads. You looked through numerous magazines and articles, and you asked yourself, when will it be my turn? How many perakim of Tehillim? How many requests did you make when you lit your candles? You prayed your tefillot, and whispered to Hakodosh Baruch Hu, we need more space for our growing family. We need more bedrooms, bathrooms, play space, a space to eat at the table, etc. 

Finally, the moment arrives, you found a home with a mortgage that’s within your budget, and you place your whole trust in Hashem, that it will come into fruition. The paperwork is daunting. Take a deep breath, put your faith in the One Above, make lists and sub-lists, and become super-organized. 

Underwriting Requirements 

Below are a list of documents that you should be prepared to provide: 

Income Documentation –  such as paystubs, W-2s, and tax returns. 

Asset Documents – to show enough funds for closing plus any reserves the bank may require.  

Bank Deposits – information about large deposits (more than 50 percent of your monthly income per day) and any cash deposits. Anything that can’t be explained will be omitted from your balance. 

Credit Score – make sure you make all of your payments on time so that your score stays high and pay down any high balances on cards (over 30 percent of high credit limit). Remember, let your loan officer run your credit as credit karma is usually not accurate. If he or she can increase your score by a few points it may save you tens of thousands of dollars over 30 years.  

Gift Letter – a written statement that declares that funds you received as a gift were not given as a loan (note, all gifts must come from relatives, and the relative’s relationship to you must be explained).

Additional Requirements 

Aside from standard funding conditions, other requirements may be added after an underwriter reviews your loan and application. 

Don’t let any of these things stand in your way. Everyone else did it, and you will do it too! Respond punctually to your lender. Provide the documents they request in a timely manner. They may ask for the same documents multiple times. And some requests may seem irrelevant. Just keep your cool. Give only what they ask for. Don’t disclose any extra information. Don’t change jobs or quit your job. If you still have the same job you had when you applied for a mortgage get a proof of employment document. That makes you a safe bet. Communicate with your settlement agent, title company, or attorney. Ask if they need anything else from you, so the process can move along quicker. When in doubt ask the lender for advice, find out what info they require. 

You’ve done everything you possibly could. So, what happens next? Once you are clear to close, you’ve entered the final stretch. Can you smell the wet paint of your new home drying? It shouldn’t take that much longer. Once cleared, the attorneys schedule a closing date. 

You made it! It has been some journey. There were high roads and low roads. There were lots of hopes and wishes. May this be the beginning to building your final home in Jerusalem! 

Brick Is Best 

Brick homes are fire-resistant and will often have lower homeowner’s insurance premiums. Brick is unaffected by moisture because it naturally absorbs and then releases moisture without damage. The clay used is one of the most abundant natural materials on the planet, making brick environmentally friendly. Brick helps insulate a home, resulting in more consistent indoor temperature, keeping heating and cooling bills down.

FuN FaCtS 

You know the holes on the bottom of your brick house aren’t foundation problems, they are called “weep holes.” Between the exterior brick and the plywood there is an air gap that functions as a rain screen. Any moisture that gets behind the brick drains down to the bottom of the wall and out through the weep holes. 

The Lighter Side – September 2022

A Leaky Situation

A rabbi stands before his congregation on Rosh Hashana and reports to them that there is a massive hole in the roof of the synagogue.

“Now I have good news and bad news for you,” the rabbi continues. “The good news is that we have the money to repair it. The bad news is that the money is in your pockets.”

Benny H.

Yes, Sir!

Three-year-old Mikey had been told several times to get ready for bed. The last time his mother told him, she was very insistent. His response was, “Yes, sir!”

Correcting him, Mikey’s mother said, “You would say, ‘Yes, sir,’ to a man. I am a lady, so you would say, ‘Yes, ma’am,’ to a lady.” To quiz him on this lesson, she then asked him, “What would you say to Abba?”

“Yes, sir!” came the reply.

“Then what would you say to Mommy?”

“Yes, ma’am!” he proudly answered.

“Good job! Now, what would you say to Grandma?”

Little Mikey lit up and said, “Can I have a cookie?”

Debbie G.

Wireless Technology

After having dug to a depth of 3,000 feet last year, French scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1,000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors had a telephone network all those centuries ago.

Not to be outdone by the French, English scientists dug to a depth of 6,000 feet and shortly after headlines in the U.K. newspapers read: “English archeologists have found traces of 2,000-year-old fiber-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the French.”

One week later, Israeli newspapers reported the following: “After digging as deep as 15,000 feet in a Jerusalem marketplace, scientists had found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, concluded that 5,000 years ago Jews were already using wireless technology.”

Ralph S.

Visiting the Sick

A man named Anthony who volunteers to entertain patients in nursing homes and hospitals went to one local hospital in Brooklyn that services Jewish patients and took his portable keyboard along. Anthony found an old Jew named Saul who looked like he could use some cheering up and he went by his bedside, told some jokes, and sang some funny songs.

When he finished Anthony said, in farewell, “I hope you get better.”

Saul replied, “I hope you get better, too.”

 

Elliot D.

Trip to the Butcher Shop

Zadie Goldberg took his grandkids on a trip to Israel. Before he retired, Zadie owned a kosher butcher shop, so on one of their stops in Israel he wanted to show his grandkids an Israeli butcher shop.

Zadie took six-year-old Danny to the back and pointed out some more unusual cuts of meat. He specifically pointed out the kidneys, as they weren’t available in America because they were too hard to make kosher, but some butchers in Israel had them.

When they came out from the back, little Danny ran up to his older siblings and said, “Guys you are never going to believe it! They sell kids’ knees back there!”

Maurice A.

X-Ray Vision

The first grade Talmud Torah class was getting a tour of a local hospital by Dr. Rothman – the father of one of the boys in the class. Dr. Rothman took the kids to the radiology unit and showed them an x-ray machine.

“Who here has ever broken a bone?” Dr. Rothman asked.

Little Lori raised her hand.

“Did it hurt?” asked Dr. Rothman.

“No,” replied Lori.

“Really?” asked Dr. Rothman surprised. “Which bone did you break?”

“My sister Rachel’s arm.”

Lena P.

Window Dressing

Chaim Yankel replaced all the windows in his house in Chelm. He had expensive, double-insulated energy efficient windows installed.

Twelve months later Chaim Yankel gets a call from the contractor, complaining that the work has been done for a year, but he hasn’t paid yet.

Chaim Yankel replies, “Now don’t try to pull a fast one on me. The salesman who sold me those told me that in one year they would pay for themselves!”

Mordechai A.

Values for Life

Alan prided himself on being an excellent father, always teaches important values and imparting pearls of wisdom to his daughter Leah. One day Alan was explaining a very important lesson to Leah.

“Honey, it’s very important that when you grow up, you become assertive, independent, and strong willed. These are character traits that will breed success.”

“So how come you always tell me to stop asking questions and do whatever you say?” asked Leah.

“Ah…” answered Alan. “That’s because when you are a kid, I want you to be passive, compliant, and obedient.”

Rachel G.

You Think Money Grows on Trees

Bernie Rose had been asking his father for more and more spending money. His father finally asked him, “Bernie, do you think money grows on trees?”

“Yeah,” said Bernie, always somewhat of a smart aleck.

“Well, it doesn’t,” said Mr. Rose.

“So, what is money made out of, Dad?” asked Bernie.

“Paper,” Mr. Rose said.

“And what is paper made out of?” asked Bernie with a smile…

Sharon C.

Note From Home

Mrs. Stern was having some issues with David in her second grade class. He wasn’t doing his homework and he couldn’t seem to follow instructions properly. He just seemed like he was all over the place.

Mrs. Stern thought she would try to get David’s parents involved, thinking that perhaps the behavioral problems were stemming from home. She decided to send home a note with David and the next day she received the following note in return:

“Dear Mrs. Stern, David is sorry he didn’t do his homework last night. He will never do it again. Yours truly, Chaim Rosenberg.”

Jake H.

Who’s Right?

Lenny and Louis, both a bit stubborn, were involved in a petty argument, both of them unwilling to admit they might be in error.

“I’ll admit I’m wrong,” Lenny told Louis in a conciliatory attempt, “if you’ll admit I’m right.”

Louis agreed and, like a gentleman, insisted that Lenny go first.

“I’m wrong,” Lenny said.

With a twinkle in his eye, Louis responded, “You’re right!”

Albert Z.

Up, Up, and Delay

An El Al jetliner abruptly stopped on the tarmac at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, turned around and returned to the gate. After a lengthy delay, it finally took off.

A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?”

“The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the flight attendant.

“So why such a long delay?” asked the passenger.

“It took us a while to find a new pilot.”

Morris K.

Mabrouk – September 2022

Births – Baby Boy 

Mr. & Mrs. Joseph Anzarouth 

Solomon & Devora Sultan 

Bar Mitzvahs 

Michael, son of Mr. and Mrs. David Noam 

Isaac, son of Morris and Sally Allaham 

Engagements 

Aaron Chaiklin to Sarah Yedid 

Joey Dweck to Rachel Cornman 

Solly Mizrahi to Saree Dado 

David Fuchs to Miri Arazi 

Yahel Cohen to Loris Chalouh 

Weddings 

Meyer Kassin to Grace Shelby 

Joey Mosseri to Melanie Ades 

HOLD ON – It’s hashem on the other line

We pray for Hashem to answer our requests. Sometimes the answer is there in front of our eyes. 

This story happened this past July. The Mitzvah Man answered a call from a man named Alan. Alan’s friend Harry, now in the mid-forties, had never put on tefillin before. Now Harry wants Alan to get him a pair of used tefillin and to show him how to put them on. 

“I can get him a new pair of tefillin, answered the Mitzvah Man, but Harry will have to fill out a few forms.” 

“No,” Alan replied, “Harry doesn’t have an issue with money. He doesn’t really understand the worth yet of buying himself a good pair of tefillin. Harry just wants a used pair so that he can start to observe this mitzvah.” 

The Mitzvah Man was thinking that it would really be easier to get a new pair than to find a reliable used pair.  

While Alan and the Mitzvah Man were still on the phone, another call came in. 

“Hold on Alan,” he said. “Let me take this call.” 

The caller told the Mitzvah man, “My grandfather passed away a few months ago and he left a good pair of tefillin. Does the Mitzvah Man have someone who could use them?” 

The Mitzvah Man couldn’t believe his ears! 

“I sure do! I will make the arrangements right now for the tefillin to be picked up.” 

The Mitzvah Man returned to Alan on the phone and told him about the open miracle that just occurred. Harry will have the tefillin he wanted the very next day! 

In telling over this story, the Mitzvah Man emphasized, “Sometimes Hashem shows the miracle instantly in front of our faces. We just have to look for it.”  

PROPEL Summer Events

PROPEL’s mentorship division, supported by a grant from the UJA, welcomed teachers and women interested in education to TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY FOR EDUCATORS. Gitta Neufeld, PROPEL’s Educational Consultant and team leader of PROPEL Ed., invited Dr. Jeff Lichtman, our collaborative partner at Touro University (Touro University Director of Graduate Jewish Special Education), to share his views on the timely topic of anxiety in the classroom and in the home. His child-sensitive strategies shed light on better practices to implement in the classroom and beyond. Among the many takeaways from Dr. Lichtman’s presentation were: identify a child’s anxiety, do not harm, and build self-confidence.  

Our second presenter, PROPEL’s very own mentor Zeeva Weitzman (Early Childhood Education Consultant, NYC Department of Health), shared her personal journey in the world of education. Zeeva got her start at The Center, where she recalled her mentors Reggie Aracanchi and Amy Mishaan, and bringing her young baby to work with her on days when help was not available. Zeeva currently works for NYC Department of Health and encourages others to explore the many options the field of education offers.

This event for educators, graciously hosted by Ami and Ralph Sasson, housed so many participants that there was standing room only, all riveted by the topics presented. 

PROPEL supports all types of working women, and our next stop on the summer calendar was PIAZZA DI PROPEL, a 35-vendor-supported marketplace of community working women entrepreneurs selling everything from jewelry, clothing for children and adults, candles, flowers, Judaica, and so much more. In an effort to promote community women in the entrepreneurial space, PROPEL has created the Victoria Aronow PROPEL List. The List is a free digitized marketplace of women who sell food or other products, provide services, or have a profession, including the vendors at the Piazza event. Sign up and create a profile now in order to be included on the digital directory that illustrates women’s businesses, professions, and careers. Don’t delay, get Listed!  www.thepropellist.org/register/

Inspiring meet-ups took place throughout the day. These included morning yoga, parenting, Mommy and me, art, and gardening. (Please see inset and congratulate all of our facilitators!)

A special thanks to Caroll Dweck Sutton, Sylvia Dweck Cabasso, and Leila Zeitouneh, along with the Young Leadership Division who organized and helped make this a successful endeavor. A special thanks to our generous hosts, Shelly and Ralph Antebi, for sharing their beautiful oceanfront backyard with PROPEL.

Self-awareness, self-confidence, and positive affirmations are all essential ingredients for helping to nurture and encourage all our successes in life. Who better than Sari Dana to host a POSITIVE FITNESS EXPERIENCE. Sari’s inspiring messaging, coupled with movement and mindset, proved to be another inspiring and well-attended PROPEL event. 

Stay tuned for TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY FOR MENTAL HEALTH PRACTITIONERS in PROPEL’s mentorship division. We have no doubt that the lessons to be explored will be invaluable.

—————– 

PROPEL 646-494-0822 | info@thepropelnetwork.org | Instagram @PropelNetwork  

Please reach out to PROPEL:  

*If you are interested in a career or career advice, we can help you take the steps to fulfill your professional goals and dreams.

*If you are interested in joining PROPEL’s cohort of mentors in PROPEL’s “Weaving a Network: Women Helping Women” program or being paired with a mentor reach out to PROPEL. 

A Good Sign

Chaya Steinman 

As we labor through the sobering month of Elul preparing our souls for the High Holidays that will soon be upon us, shaatras are hard at work preparing meals to ensure that Rosh Hashanah will be as beautiful and uplifting physically as it will be spiritually.  

Personally, I enjoy revolving my entire Rosh Hashanah menu around the simanim (literally, “signs”), the traditional foods eaten on Rosh Hashanah as symbols of our hopes for a happy and prosperous year. This technique has expanded my cooking repertoire to include some delicious, infrequently-used produce, and has created a festive tradition that my family looks forward to each year. In honor of these unique and meaningful foods that infuse our Rosh Hashanah meals with hopeful prayers for the coming year, let us explore some interesting, little-known facts about some of the simanim, as well as recipe ideas for incorporating them into a holiday meal. 

Dates 

Packed with a gooey, sweet decadence, dates seem more like an indulgent treat than a health food. Yet, these delicious fruits, famed for being one of the shivat haminim (seven special species of Eretz Yisrael), have been given the well-earned nickname “nature’s candy,” as they are jam-packed with nutritional value. Grown on date palms indigenous to the Middle East, dates are chock full of essential vitamins, minerals, and nutrients such as fiber, vitamin B6, iron, vitamin K, potassium, and manganese. Dates also boast a long list of health benefits that include boosting bone health and strength, preventing abdominal cancer, decreasing allergic reactions, reducing the risk of stroke, promoting healthy digestion and excretion, increasing energy levels, and strengthening the nervous system. With about 66 calories per date, they are also a great choice for people looking to gain weight in a healthy way. If you want to enjoy dates throughout your Rosh Hashanah meal, consider adding chopped dates to a fresh lettuce salad to add an extra dimension of taste. There are also a myriad of cakes, cookies, and dessert bar recipes that feature dates as the star ingredient. 

Black Eyed Peas  

Black eyed peas were first cultivated in West Africa, and later spread to America in the 17th century. In the Southern United States, black eyed peas are a celebrated staple in traditional soul food cooking. Interestingly, a community of Sephardic Jews who settled in Georgia in the 1730s ate black eyed peas every year at their Rosh Hashanah meal. The surrounding gentiles noticed this custom and jumped on the black eyed pea bandwagon.  Dating back to the mid-19th century and continuing till today, there is a tradition in the Southern United States to eat black eyed peas for good luck on New Year’s Day. More accurately classified as a bean than a pea, black eyed peas were further popularized when George Washington Carver promoted planting them to add nitrogen to soil, and Carver touted their nutritional value. Consider serving this low-calorie, potassium-rich protein as a side dish cooked with sautéed onions, garlic, and seasonings, or in a unique salad mixed with other beans, greens, and fresh veggies and dressed with a light vinaigrette.  

Leeks 

Leeks are part of the Allium family of vegetables that also includes onion and garlic. With a milder taste than onions, leeks are great for adding flavor to soup stock. Leeks can also be enjoyed raw in salads, boiled to create a softer flavor, and fried, which yields a crunchy, stronger-tasting leek. It is advisable to eat ½ cup serving of Allium vegetables daily to reap their significant health benefits. Their high content of antioxidants and nutrients offer cardiovascular support and reduce inflammation. Jews are not the only group that ascribes significance to leeks. In fact, they are one of the national symbols of Wales. Legend has it that Welch soldiers identified themselves by wearing leeks on their helmets in a battle against the Saxons. When they successfully defeated the enemy, the leek rose to prominence as a national emblem of victory. Try a delicious creamy leek potato soup seasoned with thyme to enhance your meal. 

Beets 

The beautiful, bright red color of beets makes them just as visually enjoyable as they are tasty and healthy. While we think of them today as a root vegetable, during the 19th century it was discovered that beets were a concentrated form of sugar, and a special factory in Poland was built to produce beet sugar. Later, when the British restricted access to cane sugar, Napoleon declared that beets were the new primary sugar source, launching their popularity worldwide. In the Middle Ages, beets were used for medicinal purposes, and throughout history beets have been used for red dye. Adding nutrient and fiber-rich beets to your diet can yield many health benefits, such as lowering blood pressure, increasing energy, fighting inflammation, preventing cancer, and detoxifying the body. Beets are a great addition to your Yom Tov meal. Try them marinated with lemon juice and herbs and served as a cold salad, or roasted with other root veggies. Add a dash of olive oil to create a colorful, delicious accompaniment to the main course.  

Gourd 

The term “gourd” can refer to a variety of different crops such as pumpkins, cucumbers, squash, and melons, though squash and pumpkins are the traditional Sephardic choice for simanim. DNA records suggest that gourds were one of the first domesticated plants. Many species of gourds have hard outer shells, known as bottle gourds. Several varieties have been found at archaeological sites in Africa, Asia, Europe, Peru, and America. The plant originated in Africa and Asia, and until recently, science could not sufficiently explain the evidence of the bottle gourd in America. Scientists dated bottle gourds back to early history, but wondered how a plant species indigenous to one hemisphere could make its way across the ocean to another hemisphere. Until recently, the prevailing hypothesis purported that humans carried the plant with them when migrating from Asia, crossing the Bering Strait into the New World. Yet this theory was full of holes. Specifically, how could a tropical plant survive while traveling across the Arctic? Also, there was a lack of evidence of bottle gourds existing in Siberia, Alaska, and the Pacific Northwest. A fascinating study was conducted in 2005 based on newer models of how objects drift in Atlantic currents, solving the mystery with the conclusion that these bottle gourds actually floated to America on their own. Enjoy gourds at your Rosh Hashanah meal with the traditional Sephardic  sweet potato and squash casserole baked with dried cranberries, oil, cinnamon and brown sugar. 

Pomegranate 

A well-known symbol of both Torah and the Land of Israel, pomegranates are native to Persia and thrive in the dry climates of the Middle East, along the Mediterranean, and in Southern Asia. While pomegranates have always been an integral part of Jewish culture as one of the shivat haminim and a Rosh Hashanah ritual food, other civilizations have utilized pomegranates in ceremonies. Most notably, in traditional Turkish weddings a bride would throw a pomegranate on the ground and the number of seeds which fell out was believed to indicate how many children she would have. In the past few decades, pomegranates have come into vogue as a super food, as new studies revealed the tremendous health benefits of this jeweled fruit. Punicalagin, a compound found only in pomegranates, benefits the heart and blood vessels, and contributes to the extreme potency of the antioxidants in the fruit. These powerful little seeds have been shown to fight cancer, lower cholesterol and blood pressure, and prevent heart issues. Get creative with nutrient-dense pomegranate seeds and sprinkle them on top of any dish. They can be used to garnish salads, soups, and desserts. 

Apples  

There are over 7,500 varieties of apples cultivated worldwide, presenting a wide array of color and taste combinations. Two common apple cultivars originated in Israel: the Anna, a yellow-colored apple with a red blush, and the Ein Shemer, a tarter apple that is a cross between a Golden Delicious and a Zabidani. Today, with apples as ubiquitous as they are, many consider them unexciting. But the basic apple has a major surprise up its sleeve. Cut an apple in half horizontally, perpendicular to the stem. The apple’s cross section will reveal five seeds within a five-pointed star, surrounded by a circle of 10 dots, known as a 10-pointed exocarp. Now, here’s where it gets kabbalistic. The stem of the apple can represent the letter vav, whose numerical value is six. Add these numbers (5+5+10+6) to get the number 26, which is the numerical value of the divine Name of Havayah. Therefore, in the most widely cultivated and consumed fruit in the world, we find the signature of the Creator of the universe! Besides dipping them in honey, try apples baked with cinnamon for a delicious side dish or in a yummy cake for dessert. 

May the coming year be filled with sweetness and goodness for the entire Jewish people! 

Holidays and Inflation

Preparing for the Holidays in a Highly Inflationary Environment

As moms, wives, grandmothers, and heads of households, we have a lot on our plates when  preparing for Rosh Hashanah and the upcoming holidays.  Rosh Hashanah generally follows the time we are struggling to get our children back to school successfully and safely.  And let’s not forget the other hagim that arrive right after Yom Kippur: Sukkot, Shmini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah.

We are tasked with weaning our children and ourselves out of vacation mode and back into the school routines and responsibilities that accompany the back to school process.  An additional layer of planning is required for Covid.  We must consider if we are to mask or not to mask, and to comply with the requirements and consequences for Covid testing before sending our kids back to school. We must make contingency plans for childcare if our children test positive for Covid. 

This year, another challenging factor will throw a monkey wrench into our fall planning.  That wrench is the rising rate of inflation.  Inflation is the rate of increase in prices over a given time period, which directly impacts our cost of living 

The current rate of inflation is around 9.1 percent, compared to 5.4 percent last July – an increase of 69 percent.  It’s the highest it’s been in over 40 years! 

Everything will cost more: new clothes for school and the holidays, school supplies, gas for carpool, food for school lunches, meals for home and entertainment for the holidays, and more. I’m sure you are already feeling the pinch at the gas station, the supermarket, and when purchasing almost anything.

Consumer brands such as Coca Cola, Dove, and Huggies continue to raise prices as their costs for everything from wood pulp to salaries increase.  

The good news is there are ways we can control our rising expenses and still enjoy our hagim.

Food Shopping

Since one of the hardest hit product groups is food, consider changing your approach to food shopping.

Take inventory of your pantry, refrigerator, and freezer before shopping. Or as many experts say, shop your pantry first.  You may have items that you have forgotten about or even meals that you cooked and frozen.  Clean your refrigerator and freezer and organize your pantry. This step will also encourage you to cook with food already in your pantry and refrigerator/freezer, saving you time and money.  Please don’t forget to label and store meals and staples where you can easily see and access them.

Come Prepared

Always shop with a grocery list.  “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail” (Benjamin Franklin).  Sitting down and putting a list in your phone or writing out a list saves you money and time A list facilitates meal planning and can even help you lose weight.   If I forget my phone, which has my shopping list, I am at a total loss and walk down each aisle of the supermarket to recreate the list of what I need.

Buying store brands rather than name brands, buying in bulk, and choosing reusable vs. disposable items are also great ways to save money on groceries.

Remember, our goal is to minimize food waste and watch our budget.

Avoid Impulse Buying

Yes, I admit it.  Impulse buying can be fun. But it is also expensive.  According to a Slickdeals survey, the average person spends $314 per month on impulse purchases, up from $276 in 2021, a 14 percent increase. Seven in ten people have become more aware of their budgets due to the “huge impact of inflation” but consumers are reporting an increase in the frequency of their impulse shopping. 

Stock Up With Basics 

If your kitchen is stocked with certain basics cooking is easier and you can manage your budget better.  Experts say a well-stocked kitchen will allow you to buy fewer new food items each week.  Leanne Brown, author ofGood Enough, a self-care cookbook, recommends the following most useful foods to have on hand:  eggs, pasta, rice, bread, canned tomatoes, frozen vegetables and fruit, onions, and potatoes. 

Use foods that are already in your pantry, like you do before Pesach when trying to finish your chametz.  Cooking from the pantry and having a well- stocked pantry and refrigerator have become popular tools to keep within your budget and to prepare easy and healthy meals.  There are even pantry chefs!

Check out the following link for a pantry essentials checklist from the food network:  https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/packages/cooking-from-the-pantry/pantry-essentials-checklist.

Look for budget-friendly recipes. We have many talented chefs and food bloggers (Jacqueline Elbaz, Kay Robyn Ashkenazi, and Aliza Salem), in our own backyard who I have profiled in Community’s Woman to Woman column.  Check out their Instagram feeds for easy, healthy, and delicious recipes.

Less Is More 

My husband tells me I overdo it when I entertain by offering too many options.  Is it more important to be relaxed when your family and guests come over or be exhausted and frazzled because you are sleep-deprived and cooked an extravagant array of food choices?  And you may have exceeded your budget, to boot.

Keep It Simple!

When you simplify, life can be easier and lead to more joy and rewards.  Stay focused on what is meaningful about the hagim.  Do you really need to plan seven course gourmet meals?  Get grounded on what the holidays mean to you.  What do you value most about them?  I have a feeling you will say “family” and connecting with family and friends.

Worrying less about meals and watching your budget will also allow you to concentrate on your tefillot and your hopes for the New Year. This way you can also connect with Hashem and enjoy the spirituality of Rosh Hashanah.

Ask for What You Need 

Asking for what you need can be healthy and empowering. 

Be honest when a friend or family member asks you what you would like them to bring to a meal or how they can help.  I have learned to accept offers from my friends to bring salad, fruit, dessert, or wine to a holiday lunch or dinner.

Try a Potluck 

Potlucks have become popular again. A potluck is when each invited guest to a dinner or party brings a dish for everyone to share. Many guests offer one of their favorite creations and get to showcase their skills.  The concept originated in the Great Depression of the 1930s and meant “the luck of the pot, or food for an unexpected or uninvited guest.” 

Think about it.  You have just spent hours in shul.  Wouldn’t it be a relief to know loved ones are pitching in for a seudah?  The participants in a potluck also feel engaged and proud when others compliment and enjoy the food they cooked.  Sukkot is the perfect time to experiment with a potluck! 

Potlucks are about creating a community through food.  This model aligns beautifully with the values of our community, which was so aptly explained to me by Rochelle Dweck when she described Simply Traditional.  Its mission is to capture recipes and a sense of suffeh of our community’s matriarchs and to bring together generations of families through food. 

Please email me at ellen@lifecoachellen.com or write a letter to the editor, letters@CommunityM.com to share your ideas about managing the hagim during times of high inflation. 

Shana Tova and Hag Sameach!

Riddles – September 2022

Riddle: What Am I?

Submitted by:  Gary F.

I can travel at nearly 100 miles per hour, but never leave the room. You can cover me up, but that doesn’t slow me down. You will not know if I come only once or again and again and again. What am I?

Last Month’s Riddle: Clean Calculation

Your dad tells you that he will pay you $6.00 an hour for the 6 seconds that you take to wash your hands before dinner. How much did you make for washing your hands?

Solution: One cent!

Solved by: Eli Nuseiri, Sarah Sutton,  Momo and Zuki Salameh, Haim S., Father Time, Maxie B., and The Shmulster.

 

Junior Riddle: Having a Ball

Submitted by: Rena T.

Marty throws a ball as hard as he can. It comes back to him, even though nothing and nobody touches it. How?

 

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: Car Trouble

A  man pushes his car to a hotel and tells its owner that he is bankrupt. Why?

Solution: He is playing Monopoly!

Solved by: H. Soleimani, Jake Harary, Big Mike, Alex F., The Shmulster, and Julie D.

Why Didn’t You Ask for Help?

The pasuk in Tehillim (81:11) states “I am Hashem your Gd Who took you from the land of Egypt; open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.”  The Gemara (Berachot 50a) interprets “open your mouth wide, and I will fill it” as a reference to praying for spiritual success. Hashem here invites us to ask for His help in Torah and spirituality.

But what is the connection between the two parts of this pasuk? How does the concept of prayer for spiritual success relate to the fact that Hashem took us from the land of Egypt?

Rav Chaim Shmulevitz (Sichos Mussar, Maamar 28) explained that just as Hashem lifted us from the 49th level of impurity in which we were submerged in Egypt, and elevated us to the 49th level of holiness at Mount Sinai, He is similarly capable and willing to assist each and every one of us in our spiritual efforts. The only condition, however, is that we “open our mouth wide,” that we ask Hashem for help. And the wider we open our mouth, the more we pray and beseech Hashem for help, the more help He will provide.

As observant Jews, we face many tests. The Gemara teaches (Kiddushin 30b) that the yetzer hara (evil inclination) is very difficult to overcome, and without Hashem’s help we have no possibility of withstanding the pressure it exerts upon us. A person might feel, Look, what can I do? It’s just too hard. My schedule is so busy and makes it too difficult for me to learn Torah. It’s too hard to always have to watch what kind of food I eat, what kind of things I look at, and the kind of things I hear. I have pressure from my friends, or from my spouse, not to be so religious. It’s just too hard. All these claims are true, but there is one very compelling response: Why don’t you ask Hashem for help?

Rav Shimshon Pincus (Sichos Elul, Amud 33) drew an analogy to a department of a hospital with a team of doctors who were giving instructions to the doctor who would be taking the night shift. They told him that all the patients were asleep; should one of them awaken, he should tend to that patient. If several patients awaken, and he cannot handle the workload on his own, he should call other doctors for help, no matter what time it is. Sure enough, a number of patients woke during the night, and the doctor ably took care of them. As time went on, though, more patients woke and required treatment, and the doctor found himself frantically running back and forth in a desperate attempt to treat them all. Eventually, the workload proved too much for him to handle, and, unfortunately, one of the patients died as a result of the doctor’s failure to meet all his needs.

The next morning, when the other team members arrived at the hospital, they reprimanded the doctor for allowing a patient to die. He explained to them that there were just too many patients to treat, and he couldn’t get to them all.

“You fool!” they exclaimed. “We told you to call us if the situation became too much for you to handle. You were supposed to ask us for help, and we would have come and treated the patient!”

 

This is precisely our situation with respect to spirituality. Hashem knows the yetzer hara is too difficult for us to handle on our own, and He therefore instructs us to “call” Him for help. If we don’t call Him and pray for assistance in overcoming our spiritual tests, then we are to blame for our inability to achieve spiritual success.

When a person finds himself struggling in a certain area of religious observance, he should pray, “Hashem, please help me; I want to do the right thing, but I need your help!” When a person feels he has stopped growing spiritually and does not have the desire to move forward, he should pray to Hashem for that desire. When a person is having difficulty learning or understanding what he learns, he should pray to Hashem for help. The Ya’arot Devash (Derush 4) comments that if we see a student who has more success than his peers in Torah study, it is not because he is brighter, but because he asks Hashem for help.

This is true regarding our children as well. If someone sees that his child is not properly observing the Torah, or does not want to pray or learn, the parents should pray to Hashem and ask for His help to enable the child to improve. This is part of our hishtadlut, and the more we ask, the more we receive. We must open our mouths wide in prayer; even when we find it difficult to pray, we must ask Hashem to help. Even when we feel our emunah is lacking, we must ask Hashem to give us emunah. He is always listening and always ready to help us overcome any personal challenge we confront

How to Connect With Our Children When They Have Made Poor Choices

The holidays are approaching, and there is so much to learn from the teshuva process. Teshuva is about how to view one’s mistakes.  Hashem loves us so much that He gives us the opportunity to cleanse ourselves through a four-part repenting process. If we examine the process thoroughly, we will see that no part of the process is about beating ourselves up. Yet, when we make mistakes, or when our children make mistakes, we are quick to put down and degrade ourselves or our children. Unfortunately, though, this hurtful attitude only causes one to feel less motivated to fix and clean up and do better. 

Imagine the Following Scenario: 

Joey takes his brother Sammy’s baseball glove. Sammy screams, “I hate you! Give me back my glove you…” (Use the words of your choice.) 

Mom comes along and says, “Joey, how many times am I going to tell you not to touch other people’s things? And Sammy, you are so mean to your brother! Just tell him nicely.” 

We’d be foolish to think that this mother’s comments will inspire Joey or Sammy to think, “You know, she’s right. I want to fix my mistakes and do better.” A judgmental attitude of “What’s wrong with you?” always creates separation. Always. 

The Real Story 

Instead, let’s take a look at what actually really happened here. All that happened was that both Joey and Sammy made poor choices. If the mother’s goal is to let them know that she becomes insecure when they make poor choices, she will continue in her ways that only produce negative results. The negative results can range from a child believing that something is wrong with him or her, hiding mistakes, becoming defensive, and repeating the misbehaviors. 

If the mother’s goal, however, is to help her children be their best selves, she needs to change the story in her brain. She needs to internalize the idea that making poor choices in life is a part of every person’s journey. (If we see a pattern of consistent poor choices, we may need to decide if a child needs more support or intervention). If our children do not feel judged by us when they make mistakes, they are much more likely to take responsibility. It’s human nature. Remember that a judgmental attitude creates separation. 

Instead, let’s believe that our children want to do what’s right. Let’s give them a chance to be nice to each other. If our children need to play separately for a few minutes, let’s calmly say just that. “Boys, let’s play in separate rooms for a few. Joey in the kitchen, Sammy in the dining room.” (If your child is not listening to you because he or she is actually stuck in a defiant mode, you need a whole behavior reset, which is a separate topic.) No judgement. 

The “New Fresh Moment Strategy” 

The “New Fresh Moment Strategy” is a strategy that can go very far in our campaign to build our children. It means that in each moment we interact with our children without holding on to their history. Would you want someone to interact with you as they hold on to all the memories of your past mistakes? As an adult you can try and look past it, but you would naturally feel very disconnected from that person. We actually tell children that it’s such a gift from Hashem that each moment is a new fresh opportunity. If Hashem allows us to start again, we also want to give our children a chance to start again now, too. If while my child is being hurtful to a  sibling I am secretly thinking of all the times he did this in the past, I will talk down to him when giving an instruction to stop. If I treat him in this moment as a beautiful soul who just made a poor choice, I will kindly and assertively instruct him to stop. Only then will that free up my child to be their best selves.