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Riddles – February 2022

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February 2022

Riddle: Shopping Spree

Submitted by Ronnie W.

Morris walked into a hardware store and asked the price of some items. The salesman said: One costs $1, Eight costs $1, Seventeen cost $2, One hundred four costs $3 and One thousand seventy two costs $4. What was Morris buying?

Previous Month’s Riddle: Coin Conundrum

I have a large money box, 12 inches wide, and 6 inches tall. How many quarters can I place in it until my money box is no longer empty?

Solution: Just one, after which it will no longer be empty!

Solved by: The Tawil Family, Lulu Saadia, Sophia H., Blimi Yoffe, Eliyahu Cohen, Morris Kabani, Herskovich Family, Leibowitz Family, and Big Mike.

Junior Riddle: What Am I?

Submitted by Simone K. If you drop me I’m sure to crack, but give me a smile and I’ll always smile back. What am I?

Previous Month’s Junior Riddle: A Hairy Situation

How can a man who shaves several times a day still sport a long beard?

Solution: He’s a barber!

Solved by: Yanky Greenberg, The Hidary Family, The Shmulster, and The Big Cheese.

Setting Its Sights on Mental Wellness, SIMHA Ushers In a New Era in Sephardic Community

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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Setting Its Sights on Mental Wellness, SIMHA Ushers In a New Era in Sephardic Community

“Our community has the resources needed to support people facing mental health challenges and to give them the help they need. The time has come for us to address this issue as a community.”   Mark Adjmi, President of SIMHA

 Sandy Yeller

Responding to the increasing need for high quality mental health care, the Sephardic Initiative for Mental Health Awareness, also known as SIMHA, will be opening its doors in March to provide the Sephardic community with a wide range of services and programming.

Like any other demographic, our community is not immune to the ongoing mental health crisis that has been significantly exacerbated by COVID.  Anxiety, depression, OCD, eating and bipolar disorders, addiction, and other issues have been on the rise everywhere, their prevalence far outpacing existing resources.  Rabbis, teachers, mentors, kallah teachers, and others in the Sephardic community often brought their concerns to Rabbi David Sutton, who understood that these sensitive matters needed to be better addressed by those on the front lines, most of whom had little, if any, training in the mental health arena.  Hoping to become part of the solution to the alarming trend, Rabbi Sutton began participating in a clinical pastoral education program at Harvard Medical School’s McClean Hospital, training under Dr. David H. Rosmarin, an associate professor at Harvard Medical School and founder of Center for Anxiety.  

“It was clear that something had to be done to provide those needing help with access to the most professional people in the field,” said Rabbi Sutton.

Education and Awareness

Collaborating closely with rabbis and community leaders, Rabbi Sutton, Mark Adjmi, and Nathan Hoffman co-founded SIMHA, a boutique organization with a goal of providing a full continuum of care and specialized attention to those struggling with problems large and small. SIMHA’s focus on education and awareness will also help identify problems in their early stages and eradicate stigmas that prevent people from seeking much-needed help.  

Dr. David Katzenstein will be serving as SIMHA’s chief clinical officer. The former director of clinical care at Premium Health Center, Dr. Katzenstein also served as the clinical supervisor at Maimonides Medical Center’s Child and Adolescent Department of Psychology, and his writings, research, and presentations have made him a well-known figure in the global mental health community.  

“When people become educated and aware, they need a place to turn when issues arise and SIMHA is here to be the address for anyone dealing with a mental health issue, providing a robust help line, assessments, referrals, and full coordination of care,” explained Dr. Katzenstein.  

SIMHA will be partnering with Relief Resources, a mental health referral service that has made over 120,000 referrals to date, and will be tapping into its extensive referral system to provide clients with access to more than 8,000 clinicians that best suit their needs.  SIMHA will also be working with multiple community organizations including Hatzalah, OHEL, Sephardic Bikur Holim, and The Safe Foundation.

SIMHA’s trained clinical coordinators will draw on their years of expertise as licensed mental health professionals to identify patient needs and the best course of treatment for each one.  In addition to providing multi-faceted client care and supplementary support to their family members, SIMHA will also be focusing on spreading a greater understanding of mental health issues through a variety of educational initiatives.  It has already hosted three different lecture series for community rabbis and teachers featuring experts in the field, with Dr. Akiva Perlman

and Rabbi Dr. Zev Brown addressing the topics of anxiety and OCD.  Also underway are professional development days in all community schools, a mental health curriculum for students, and special classes for parents.

Mental health issues are sometimes swept under the rug because people don’t know where to go for services and are afraid of being stigmatized, noted Mr. Adjmi, SIMHA’s president.

“Our community has the resources needed to support people facing mental health challenges and to give them the help they need,” said Mr. Adjmi. “The time has come for us to address this issue as a community.”  

Focus on Youth

Adding an extra dimension to SIMHA’s services will be a network of trained certified peer specialists, who have faced their own mental health issues and will be available to speak about their own growth and share experiences.

“Listening without judging is extremely important,” noted board member Isaac Tawil.

The Wayz Foundation will become SIMHA’s youth division. Working with high school and post–high school students provides a unique opportunity to detect issues when they are smaller and more solvable, while also normalizing the concept of mental health care, explained

the Wayz Foundation founder and SIMHA board member Jobe Cabasso.

Treasurer Nathan Hoffman sees SIMHA as an end-to-end solution that will have a powerful impact in the Sephardic community.

“As Rabbi Sutton and I began speaking about SIMHA, we kept hearing from more and more people who approached us seeking help in regard to mental health issues,” observed Mr. Hoffman.  “Just over those few weeks of our discussions, it became pretty evident that the community had a significant void, one that SIMHA is being created to fill.”

ERP – What Is It and Do I Need It?

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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So, your business is set up and ready to go. Now you need to create orders, issue invoices, and track inventory. Handwritten order forms with carbon copies just don’t cut it anymore. Today, software programs are essential for running most any business. Enterprise Resource Planning tools, known as ERPs, are software programs that leading companies around the globe use for various facets of their business, including style creation, purchase order entry, stock receiving, inventory upkeep, sales orders, and invoicing. Some ERPs may even include a detailed accounting and financials section.

One Stop Shopping? Not.

ERPs are generally marketed as a one-stop solution to all business needs. However, it is not possible for any pre-set ERP to cover the totality of every business’s needs. After initial set-up, many owners find that their chosen ERP really only handles a portion of their business obligations, and they are left in the position of finding special consultants and developers to build out custom solutions to fill the gap.

Unfortunately, some ERPs tend to stretch the truth about all the features that they offer. It is very difficult to weed out issues with ERPs before going through the process of working with them. Many important details may not be apparent until after you have been all set up and are dealing with them yourself. You are led to assume that they have certain capabilities, when indeed all of the features are not yet built out. The reason for this is an ERP is ever evolving, and their general mode of operation is that a feature will eventually be available to you. Technically speaking, all ERPs can offer every feature imaginable, but it is financially in their best interest not to build everything out ahead of time, but rather, provide the basics and wait for your detailed, lengthy and ultimately expensive customization, which they can possibly offer their other customers once built out, and funded by you.

To give an example, a very popular and widely used ERP that will not be named, started in the late 90s and touts itself as being the #1 Cloud ERP. This ERP offers a pre-scribed on-boarding with a seamless set up. They give a general three-month implementation timeframe, but in actuality the go-live takes much longer and requires much more hands-on work. Their team is trained on the canned set ups, and customer service conversations seem to be read from out of a binder. They are largely built to have only about 30-40 percent pre-set capability for any particular business model. During go-live implementation you will see quickly that most of your needs are not provided for, and they will require customization as you go. Even basic reporting, such as a Profit and Loss report, is not readily available in the first implementation.

ERPs Struggle to Keep Up with the Times

Another main drawback of some of the more commonly used ERPs out there is that they are not very modern in themselves, where their user interface is more aligned with the era of Windows 95, and there are only a small handful of ERPs that are aimed at being more user friendly.

Decades ago, much of the apparel manufacturing was done domestically in the United States. There are few facilities that remain in the U.S. today. You can see still find them in places like California, Miami, and New York. But with time, the larger portion of apparel manufacturing moved overseas, and now businesses that were once considered manufacturers are now considered to be importers. So, the ERPs that were built around the 1990s era were originally aimed at manufacturers, and now, in order to not go bankrupt, they had to start adding special features to accommodate the needs of importers.

The quick rise of E-Commerce and Drop Shipping has also put pressure on the long-held ERPs that are trying to catch up. Almost all ERPs claim that they can handle the software burdens that come with drop shipping, but very few actually do, and the few that do only handle a small percent of the market.

What To Look For

When looking for the right software or ERP to help run your business, your focus should be on ERPs that have a long standing in the industry. They have the experience and the infrastructure to work with businesses such as yours and are willing to grow with you. Going for the flashy new ERP does not always work out best, as they may lack the intricacies and understanding of what your business truly needs.

Never Say, “I Should Have”

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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Someone who truly trusts Hashem does not live in the past, regretting decisions he had already made. We so often hear people lamenting, “I should have done this” or “I should have done that.” This is a dreadful curse – feeling distress and anxious over past mistakes. The Torah in Parashat Ki Tavo describes 98 curses, Heaven forbid, one of which is sheedafon, which refers to a kind of damaging wind that ruins vegetation. But it has been pointed out that the word sheedafon sounds like “should’ve.” There is a curse that we might call the “should’ve syndrome,” where people are constantly thinking of what they “should’ve” done. A person wants to sell his home, puts it on the market for $1 million, and receives an offer of $900,000, which he refuses. Three years later, when the house is not sold, he goes around thinking and saying, I should’ve sold it. A person goes to a doctor for treatment which is unsuccessful, and he thinks to himself, I should’ve gone to a different doctor.

This attitude is incorrect. If a person puts in his hishtadlut (effort), and made what appeared to him as the best decision at the time, then the reason why it did not work out as he wanted is because Hashem, in His infinite wisdom and kindness, did not want it to work out that way. Even if in the end it becomes clear that he could have made a much better decision, it is min haShamayim; the wrong decision was made because that is what Hashem determined would be best. He did not allow the better option to enter the person’s mind, because He knows what is best.

The Gemara (Berachot 32b) teaches, “Everything is in Hashem’s hands except for the fear of Hashem.” This means that Hashem gives us free will to decide between right and wrong, between doing mitzvot and aveirot, but that is all. All our other decisions are made by Him. The Sfat Emet comments that Hashem is involved even in our thought processes, and thus if he wants us to be in a certain place at a certain time for whatever reason, He will put the idea in our mind to get us there.

A woman recently told me that she was in Manhattan for a business meeting, and after the meeting she decided she wanted to go eat lunch. She passed a pizza shop, but decided she was not in the mood for pizza. She then passed a sushi restaurant, but did not feel like eating sushi. She was thinking of whether she wanted to eat meat for lunch, and decided she was not in the mood for meat. Then, suddenly, she felt a craving for a chicken salad. She headed over to Kosher Delight, and as soon as she walked in, she saw her best friend, who rarely comes to

Manhattan. She ran over to her friend to say hello and to ask what she was doing there, but she noticed that her friend was reciting Tehillim.

As soon as she finished reciting Tehillim, the friend turned to the woman, said hello, and explained that she was praying to Hashem to send her a ride to Brooklyn, because she did not want to take the train. As she was praying, her friend walked in. Hashem sent her to Kosher Delight. He is involved even in our thought process.

And so, the person who has firm faith in Hashem knows that once something happens, it is exactly what Hashem wanted to happen. As long as we do our hishtadlut, and try our hardest, doing what we genuinely feel is correct, we should not think twice about it. Once it is done, we believe with complete faith that the outcome was Hashem’s will. So, unless the decision has to do with mitzvot or aveirot, we should never say, “I should’ve,” and we should never second-guess ourselves. Everything that happens is precisely what is supposed to happen.

Skyrocketing! Community Members Weigh in on Inflation

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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Skyrocketing! Community Members Weigh in on Inflation

The 2020 pandemic brought us lots of “free” government benefits, regardless of whether you asked for it or needed it. Free boxes of food, free school lunches, unemployment checks, stimulus checks, rent breaks…the list goes on and on.

Already last year, many people were discussing the adverse, long-term consequences of these programs, but I for one didn’t expect to personally feel the effects so soon.

These “effects” have come in the form of a word that everyone seems to be talking about: inflation.

Google dictionary defines inflation as a general increase in prices and fall in the purchasing value of money. After giving out money for a year and a half, the American dollar – which was so strong not too long ago – has significantly decreased in value, and so prices have increased. Virtually everything has gone up.

I’ve already written about the cost of sending your kids to summer camps in the past. But now, with the price of food and equipment and gas and everything skyrocketing, camp prices, which I thought couldn’t get any higher, have gone up! There’s no such thing as a cheaper camp anymore. Another example that my friends have been discussing is the price of wigs. They are going for hundreds more than they used to, to the point where these days it pays to fix up an old wig rather than buy a new one. The same can be said about cars.

Let’s hear what some community members have to say about this charged subject, and what insight and analysis they can offer about the current inflation crisis.

Mollie Elbaz Briskma

This topic has me truly frustrated. It literally feels like it did around ten years ago, the days when the show Extreme Couponing was life. I’ve always “stockpiled” things and have a beautifully organized storage room full of household items such as tins, soaps, toilet paper and Ziplock bags. I always bought everything in bulk at a special discount or with some deal, and I NEVER ran out of supplies. I’m literally the GO-TO person whenever someone in my family runs out of something. But now, it’s gotten to a point where it isn’t even worth stockpiling, because everything is so inflated. Today’s “specials” aren’t very special.

Everyone who knows me knows that I love my disposables in the kitchen, especially my baking tins; dirty dishes are the enemy. But now’s I’ve gone back to using Pyrex and Corning ware, because I’m so annoyed with how expensive tins have become! And, just yesterday, I paid $7 for a pack of wraps.

I really hope something changes soon. I want my tins back!

Margo Shammah

My husband owns and operates a fire safety company called Ace Fire, which sells fire extinguishers, sprinklers and suppression systems to construction sites and homeowners. As a business owner, he’s had to raise his prices. These days, it’s near impossible to get goods, and when he can, shipping costs more, gas costs more, and the product costs more. He’s been forced to increase his prices, and unfortunately, he’s been losing business because of it, because his clients either can’t or don’t want to pay the higher prices. 

Danny Sabzehroo

My dad decided to give me his two cents about why things are so expensive. He’s been an importer for 25 years, and so he’s seen the supply chain at its best and also at its worst (now), so I was eager to hear what he had to say:

Back when things were normal, we importers were able to order, produce, and receive goods from overseas in about 2.5 months. Nowadays, it takes about 4-5 months to get the goods into the U.S. from start to finish. Many supply ships were taken out of the ocean during covid, and they haven’t been put back. Shipping companies are taking advantage and charging exorbitant prices for limited space on the ships. My personal opinion is that they’re purposely not putting the ships back in the water so that they can charge whatever rates they please. A big problem facing importers these days is really not knowing how much they’ll have to pay for shipping by the time goods are ready. I’m currently paying four times the amount I used to for shipping goods, and so there’s simply no way I can keep prices low.

The reason why you’re seeing empty shelves in stores is because the buyers are too scared to pay the higher rates. Stores are afraid to put out more expensive goods and potentially get stuck with them, and so in many circumstances they’re just not buying. Products I used to sell for $4 wholesale I now have to offer for $6, and the buyers are simply refusing to buy. The government has done nothing about all this, and unfortunately, we’re all feeling the effects. 

Another big part of the problem is that the prices for raw materials in China have risen 20 percent, and this affects not only Chinese production, but the production in all countries in the Far East that rely on China’s materials, such as Cambodia, Vietnam and Indonesia. What this means, essentially, is that it takes more money now to produce these goods, and those rates are trickling down to us, the consumers. Clothing, textile, health and beauty, home decor, furniture, auto parts, and many more industries are feeling the burn. 

The auto industry is completely different now. Have you heard about the new car shortage? Thanks to the 2020 shutdown, the world is 4-5 months behind on car manufacturing. Once again, China is part of the problem, being a major contributor of the materials needed to produce cars. The effect we see is that now the prices of both new and used cars have gone way up.

Gina Halawani

This week, my husband went to his favorite produce store in Brooklyn. He spoke to the owner who was so upset by the amount of complaints he was getting from his customers about the high prices. He told my husband that he shouldn’t be doing this – but nevertheless showed him the wholesale prices he was paying for his produce. My husband was shocked to see that the owner was paying $6 for a carton of blueberries wholesale! Skyrocketing wholesale prices are taking a toll on business owners, who are being forced to pass down the high prices to their customers, losing a good deal of business in the process. 

Clearly, the issue is a lot larger than just our government. It seems as though the combination of the pandemic and a weaker America has resulted in a huge mess. Despite it all, I am optimistic about what the future holds, because, after all, Hashem runs the world, and history shows us that things never stay the same.

Until next time,

Frieda Schweky

Intergenerational Friendships

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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Who did you call during the pandemic when you needed to talk to someone or to get out for some fresh air?

I wonder if any of those friends were older or younger than you.

The pandemic opened our eyes to the value of our friendships and challenged us to reassess the friendships that might be in need of nurturing. Some of the more casual friends may have already dropped off our radar and those friends who were there for us during our extended state of emergency are most likely to be the keepers.

Birthday cards abound with messages that age is a matter of the mind – if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Or, age is just a number.

There is truth to these corny sayings! I enjoy my relationships with co-workers and shul friends who are young enough to be my children and with older women and men who could be my parents.

Isn’t that part of what makes the world go round?

The Many Faces of Friendship

There is no one-size-fits-all formula when it comes to friends. Friends can play the part of confidantes, companions, as well as mentors and mentees. Friendships may strengthen or weaken depending on one’s stage of life or due to geography.

It’s no surprise that in our guide to daily living, Pirkei Avot, Ethics of our Fathers, we are urged to “Make for yourself a mentor, acquire for yourself a friend, and judge every person as meritorious (Mishnah 1:6 of Pirkei Avot).”

If we are not locked down, we might connect with people of all ages every day, at work, at medical appointments, at the supermarket, and at a host of other places for various occasions. Our labor force is made up of several generations and provides us with opportunities to develop relationships with individuals of varying age groups. Intergenerational friendships, those between individuals of different ages, can evolve into the most rewarding and deepest relationships.

According to a 2020 AARP (American Association of Retired Persons) survey, “nearly four in ten adults (37 percent) have a close friend who is at least 15 years older or younger than they are. Almost half (45 percent) of close intergenerational friendships have lasted at least ten years and one in five has lasted for more than two decades. These friendships are equally common among men and women, though boomers and Gen Xers more often have friends of a different generation than millennials.”

So, what are some of the benefits of intergenerational friendships?

Inspiring Role Models

Research indicates that younger people often find that older friends add a new dimension to their lives. They can serve as mentors and provide helpful guidance or life lessons and can even be like your own private life coach. Those who have lived a long life have experienced major milestones and have learned to cope with life’s adversities. They can be a calming influence and can offer wise counsel on how to cope and how to appreciate the good things in life and the good times. Younger adults who responded to the 2020 AARP Survey said that they were inspired by older friends and viewed them as role models.

Surveying some of the millennials in my orbit, several noted that their older friends are more mature, are often less judgmental, and are less petty than friends of the same age. Some find great comfort in seeking council from someone who has significant life experience. Their advice is always honest, and informed by their experiences. One younger friend commented about older friends, “They teach me to see things from other people’s point of view, and we tend to cooperate rather than compete.”

I recall my daughter’s friends chatting me up at her sleepover parties or asking me for tips about relationships and careers. Sometimes it can be easier or it feels safer to talk to a parent figure, someone else’s mom or dad, rather than one’s own parent.

From the younger person’s viewpoint, intergenerational friendships can be nurturing and instructive, can help one to grow personally, and can enable the younger friend to gain new perspectives.

Older /Younger Friends Simply Enjoy the Connection

Those who have close intergenerational friendships have found that it is not always about the older person being a “patient teacher or wellspring of advice for the younger one.” At times, it is simply about two people connecting, being like-minded, and having similar interests or passions such as loving to bake, paint, or run.

My adult daughter treasures her relationship with her cousin Sally who is 50 years older. She first met Sally at her bat mitzvah and adopted her as a surrogate grandmother. They share common interests, such as visiting museums, and enjoy each other’s company greatly.

Who Is Wise?

Here is another gem from Pirkei Avot. Who is wise? One who learns from everyone. And we see that older people have much to learn from the younger set, too. An older person, such as yours truly, can see things in a new light or can consider a fresh view when engaging with a young friend, colleague, or adult child. My adult children often help me tackle sticky relationship situations and remind me to put myself in someone else’s shoes. And, of course, my kids have pushed me to learn how to navigate boundaries. Debbie Pincus, a licensed mental health counselor and author, defines a boundary as “the line you draw around yourself to define where you end and where your child begins.”  Parents tend to cross boundaries in their desire to fix things for their children. 

Adult children or younger friends can provide lessons on technology and may also shed more light on politics and current events. My son Jacob, a journalist, helped me edit my articles and gave me terrific tips when I started writing for Community. I continue to receive wonderful advice on self-care and creating joy from my daughter Sarah.

I will always remember when I was asked to take on a new financial reporting role at Bristol-Myers Squibb, around 20 years ago. My position was being moved to Princeton, NJ and I was offered another job that involved learning a whole range of information technology skills. Thanks to four or five younger colleagues, I learned how to upload, filter, and slice and dice computer files. Their support allowed me to remain with that company and partner with my husband to provide for our family. Can you believe that as an accounting major in the 1970s, I was not required to take even one computer class? Although I was 15 years older than most of my colleagues, I was a welcome and valued member of the team.

I can proudly say that thanks to those work friends, I am still tech savvy, and that keeps me feeling young and in touch with what is happening in the world.

I would be remiss if I did not mention my dear friend Yolanda, who I shared a cubicle wall with. Fifteen years younger and of a different religion, she and I connected spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. When she left Bristol-Myers, I followed her shortly thereafter to a consulting firm. Yolanda became a friend and mentor, and sometimes the younger sister I never had.

Working and socializing with younger people can keep an older person on her toes, feeling sharp, and with it!

One of my close friends, Reba, is 76, and has many friends of all ages. Several are in their mid-twenties, and she cherishes her time with them. “They make me feel young, energetic, happy, useful, inclusive, and loved. I thank Hashem that they are a part of my life.” Her young friends value her practical advice, and she admires their maturity, independence, and worldly awareness. She enjoys when they look to her for guidance, and she feels respected and appreciated. Listening to Reba, I realize that intergenerational friendships are about reciprocity, respect, and having fun too!

Intergenerational Friendships and Volunteering

Volunteering is a fabulous way for the younger and older generations to really experience the magic of intergenerational friendships and to do hesed.

Sing on Hanukah or hand out mishloah manot at a nursing home. Or dance and enjoy activities with seniors at Sephardic Bikur Holim.

The 50-plus age group represents a tremendous resource when they volunteer. One example is the UJA Engage Jewish Service Corps that enables Jewish women and men in their 50s, 60s, and beyond to address the needs of the NYC Jewish community. Volunteers use their passions, areas of expertise, and skill sets to tackle issues such as hunger, poverty, joblessness, the special-needs population, and the isolated elderly.

I leave you with Rabbi Akiva’s sage advice about friendship: “Don’t walk ahead of me, I may not follow; don’t walk behind me, I may not lead; just walk beside me and be my friend and together we will walk in the way of Hashem.”

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.   Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

Once Upon a Thyme – Chicken Fried Rice

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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Have leftover rice? This Chinese inspired dish is a perfect way to repurpose rice into an entirely new dish. In fact, chicken fried rice works better with leftover rice that’s been refrigerated. Working with cold rice ensures less clumps and sticky balls of rice. If you’re in a rush, you can make fresh rice, place it on a flat baking tray and place it in the freezer or fridge until chilled. The addition of chicken in this one-pot-meal recipe serves as the protein, but feel free to skip if you want to keep it parve. This recipe is quick, easy to make, and bursting with flavor.

3 tablespoons oil

1 lb. chicken cutlets, diced

2 medium carrots, peeled and diced

2 onions, diced

1/2 cup frozen peas

3 cloves garlic, minced

Salt and black pepper

4 cups cooked and chilled rice

5 scallions, thinly sliced

3-4 tablespoons soy sauce

1-2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil (optional)

INSTRUCTIONS

Heat oil in a large sauté pan over medium-high heat. Add diced onion and cook for about 5 minutes until caramelized. Add carrots and cook for another five minutes until soft.

Add diced chicken and sauté for 5-10 minutes, until cooked through.

Add peas and garlic, and season with a generous pinch of salt and pepper. Add cooked rice, scallions, and soy sauce, and stir until combined. Continue sautéing for an additional 3 minutes to fry the rice, stirring occasionally.

Remove from heat and stir in the sesame oil until combined. Taste and season with extra soy sauce, if needed.

Top with some more scallions, serve warm.

Letters – February 2022

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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Winter Break

I really enjoy Frieda Schweky’s monthly column because it deals head on with the pressing issues of the community. I couldn’t agree more with her opinion in regards to last month’s topic on winter vacations (Winter Break 2022). I get deeply disturbed when my children are given assignments from their teachers to write about their vacations. Don’t get me wrong, I think the idea of going on a family vacation is great. If done properly, it certainly helps families bond and draw close. But the point should be for the family to relax and enjoy the experience, not to brag to others. Maybe I am naive in the era of social media (which I refuse to use), but my family always stressed that it’s not appropriate to tell others about treats, gifts, vacations, etc., nor is it right to ask them about such things.

Jamie T.

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Although vacations might be a bit costly these days, I believe that it is important to get away. A vacation any time of the year is worthwhile, but getting away during the dreary weather months is especially good for the body, mind, and soul. and the mind. Plus, you come home knowing that spring is coming and the winter will soon be a distant memory.

Maureen G.

Covid Concerns

I would like to offer some advice to the husband of the “Concerned” woman who wrote to Jido for advice about her husband’s negative state of mind due to the pandemic.

It’s quite natural to feel down due to no work and the current scenario, but things will normalize with time. All we need is patience and positivity in our life. There are ups and downs in life. This should be considered as one of the inevitable downs.

Another fact is this that covid has created havoc in everybody’s life, so it’s not just one or a few persons affected. The entire world is fighting against it.

Situations will change and things will improve; life doesn’t end here. Engage yourself in activities that will relax you and give you joy, such as gardening. Search for some other work. This is a testing period. We need to be patient and focus on the positive things in life.

Be well.

Martin D.

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In regards to the coronavirus, I think it is essential that people in a situation that are greatly being negatively affected by the drawbacks of social distancing make a risk vs. benefit calculation. Perhaps you are hurting yourself more by distancing than the potential effects of possibly contracting covid. This isn’t 2020. There are now treatments available, and we all have the option of being vaccinated with boosters. In my opinion, it’s essential that people make the best decision, including taking into account the mental health drawbacks of social distancing, when deciding how to deal with the situation.

Avi C.

Real Estate Tips

Thanks for last month’s tips on selling you home (Smells and Real Estate). I would like to suggest another good tip when selling your home – hiring a professional photographer.

The first thing potential buyers see in a listing is the property pictures. Crisp images with great lighting can mean the difference between a buyer putting your property on their shortlist or moving on to the next listing.

Unfortunately, many sellers skimp on this, which is a huge mistake. Hiring a professional to take your photos shouldn’t be expensive and is worth every penny.

Michelle L.

@HungryMom’s FOOD DIARY – Garlic Roasted Chicken

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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@HungryMom’s FOOD DIARY – Garlic Roasted Chicken

This is one of my favorite chicken recipes. It’s light, easy, and just so fresh tasting! The garlic cloves on the bottom get so soft and yummy, adding great flavor!

Chicken thighs

Garlic cloves

Salt

Garlic powder

Paprika

Onion powder

Black pepper

Lemons

Thyme

Put around 30 cloves of peeled garlic on the bottom of a roaster.

Make a spice mixture of 2 tbsp salt, 1.2 tbsp paprika, 1.5 tbsp garlic powder, 1 tbsp onion powder, and 1 tsp black pepper.

Drizzle chicken breasts with olive oil, and then rub some of the spice mixtures all over. Try to get it under the skin. Lay the chicken legs over the garlic cloves.

Slice lemons thin and randomly scatter them over the chicken thighs. Do the same with some fresh sprigs of thyme.

Drizzle 1-2 tbsp olive oil over the chicken, and a freshly squeezed lemon.

Cover and bake on 375 degrees Fahrenheit for 1 hour and 45 minutes. Uncover and bake an additional 10 minutes.

The Eternal Bond

Community Magazine

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February 2022

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Imagine a businessman gives an important package to his assistant, and instructs him to urgently deliver it to the person whose name and address are written on the front. The delivery boy takes the package, goes to the address, knocks on the door…and is told that the intended recipient had moved, and no longer resides at that address.

Figuring that the job can’t be done, the employee takes the package and throws it into the trash. He then returns to his boss, who asks him about the package, and he explains that the recipient no longer lives at that address, so he threw the package away.

The boss responds by congratulating him for a job well done, and enthusiastically praising him for being the best employee he ever had.

Does this sound reasonable?

Moshe’s “Signature Moment”

This story has been told to serve as an analogy to Moshe and Gd’s responses to het ha’egel – the sin of the golden calf, one of the most upsetting stories in the Torah, which we read this month.

After spending forty days atop Mount Sinai receiving the Torah, Moshe came down the mountain with the stone tablets, the symbol of Gd’s covenant with Beneh Yisrael. Moshe saw the people worshipping a graven image, and he promptly threw the tablets to the ground, shattering them. The Gemara (Shabbat 87a) comments that Gd later told Moshe, “Yiyashar kohacha sheshibarta” – roughly translated as, “Good job for breaking the tablets!”

In the closing verses of the Torah, after telling of Moshe’s passing, the Torah emphasizes that there never arose a prophet as great as Moshe, noting his unparalleled accomplishments which he achieved “in view of all Israel.” Rashi explains that this refers specifically to one of the countless things which Moshe did over the course of his 40-year career as our nation’s leader – breaking the tablets.

The final words of the Torah, which summarize Moshe’s singular achievements, speak of his breaking the tablets which Gd gave him to bring to Beneh Yisrael.

Is this not the story of the boss and his assistant?

Moshe was assigned a job – to bring the tablets to the people. He saw that the people weren’t “available” – they were not spiritually prepared to receive them. Shouldn’t he have brought them back to Gd? What right did he have to shatter them? And once he did shatter them, why would Gd congratulate him for it? Finally, why is this considered Moshe’s “signature moment,” the achievement that embodies his eternal legacy, memorialized by the final words in the Torah?

The Wedding Ring

The Vilna Gaon (Rav Eliyahu of Vilna, 1720-1797), in his Imreh Noam commentary to Masechet Berachot (32a), offers a powerful explanation.

He compares the luhot (tablets) to the ring given by a groom to his bride under the hupah. This ring is not just a piece of jewelry. It is a symbol of their bond. As long as the wife wears her ring, she is considered as holding onto her beloved husband. The ring’s presence on her finger represents her husband’s presence in her mind and heart, even when they are not together. This was the function of the luhot. Their presence among Beneh Yisrael signified their permanent bond with Gd.

This is why Moshe refused to give the tablets back. He knew that as long as they were with Beneh Yisrael – even in the form of shattered chards – their bond with Gd was intact. Moshe was intent on maintaining this bond even after the tragic failure of the golden calf. He refused to give up on his people – and He wanted to ensure that Gd wouldn’t, either.

The Vilna Gaon explains on this basis an otherwise mindboggling passage in the Talmud (Berachot 32a). After Gd informed Moshe of the sin of the golden calf, He said, “And now, leave Me alone, and I shall be incensed at them and annihilate them” (Shemot 32:10). Commenting on the unusual expression “hanihah li” – “leave Me alone,” the Gemara writes, “If the verse was not written, it would be impossible to say it – this teaches that Moshe grabbed onto the Almighty like a person grabbing his fellow by his garment, and said to Him, ‘Master of the world! I am not leaving You alone until you pardon and forgive them!’” At first glance, this seems impossible to accept. How could Moshe possibly “force” Gd to do anything?

The Vilna Gaon explains that the Gemara here does not mean to say that Moshe grabbed Gd. Rather, it means that Moshe grabbed the luhot, refusing to give them back. Instead of returning them, he insisted on keeping them. This is why in the Book of Devarim (9:17), when Moshe recalls the events of the golden calf, he says, “I grabbed the two tablets and threw them away from my two hands.” Moshe emphasizes that he “grabbed” (“va’etpos”) the luhot, even though he was, quite obviously, already holding them. The explanation is that Moshe refused to give them back. He held onto them, insistent on maintaining the special bond between Gd and His nation.

Of course, Moshe shattered the tablets, to reprimand the people and show them that their relationship with Gd was now in tatters, and needed a long process of healing and repair. But he was not prepared to give up on this relationship.

This explains why the Torah extols Moshe’s greatness specifically by alluding to this incident. This was, indeed, Moshe’s greatest moment. If not for this decision to break the luhot instead of returning them to Gd, the relationship between Gd and His people would have been lost forever. It was specifically through this act that Moshe succeeded in preserving this eternal bond, and ensuring that, after a process of repairing the “shattered” relationship, Beneh Yisrael would forever remain Gd’s special and beloved nation.

This also sheds light on the Gemara’s teaching (Baba Batra 14) that the broken chards of the original tablets were stored inside the ark together with the second, permanent set of tablets. The fact that the broken tablets were able to remain in the sacred ark along with the second tablets proves that their value was not lost, that they remained holy and precious. Their presence in the aron provided clear, incontrovertible testimony that the bond between Gd and His nation can never be ruptured, even when it is strained.

The Broken Glass at the Hupah

There is a time-honored custom, observed by virtually all segments of the Jewish world, to break a glass under the hupah during the wedding ceremony. The common explanation of this practice is that at this moment of immense joy, amid our festive celebration of the establishment of a new Jewish home, we take a brief moment to show that our happiness cannot be complete due to our nation’s state of exile. As the bride and groom set out to build their home, we remember that Gd’s “home,” the Bet Hamikdash, remains unbuilt.

However, some commentators suggest a much different – and startling – explanation of this practice, claiming that the breaking of the glass commemorates Moshe’s breaking the luhot. At this sacred, sublime, euphoric moment, we recall, of all things, Moshe’s decision to shatter the stone tablets in response to the tragic spectacle of the worship of the golden calf.

What could possibly be the connection between the breaking of the tablets and a Jewish wedding? Why would we want to bring to mind one of our nation’s gravest failures – the golden calf – while celebrating the glorious occasion of a marriage?

In light of what we have seen, a clear answer emerges. Specifically at this moment, the bride and groom are shown what eternal, unbreakable commitment is. They are reminded of how Moshe Rabbenu refused to allow the Jewish People’s everlasting bond with Gd to be permanently broken. They are taught that even when the relationship might suffer a serious blow, and it resembles the shattered luhot, it can be repaired. They are taught that just as Moshe did not despair, and insisted that Beneh Yisrael’s bond with Gd is too precious to be allowed to dissolve, so should they approach their relationship as something sacred and precious, and worth preserving even when difficulties arise.

This insight presents a crucially important lesson for all of us, one which is certainly relevant to marriage, but also to all relationships. Even when a relationship appears to be “shattered,” like the tablets, this does not necessarily mean that it is lost. Broken relationships can be repaired. Tensions can be eased. Conflicts can be resolved. With strength, determination and patience, as well as the humility to apologize and to forgive, relationships can overcome hardships and be rebuilt.

When a couple gets engaged and married, they are traditionally blessed that their relationship should be a “binyan adeh ad – an eternal bond.” For a bond to be eternal, it must be strong enough to withstand difficult challenges. It must be healthy enough to be able to be repaired after a period of crisis. Relationships will, invariably, be tested and put under strain. Our blessing to every bride and groom – and to every married couple, at any stage – is that their bond will resemble the bond between Gd and the Jewish Nation, and will endure, grow and flourish despite the challenges that will arise.

We hope and pray that no marriage should ever be rattled like our ancestors’ bond with the Almighty after the sin of the golden calf. But if it is, the couple should follow Moshe’s example, and try, as hard as they can, to “pick up the pieces” and begin rebuilding so that they can create a beautiful and sacred “binyan adeh ad.”