62.5 F
New York
Tuesday, May 13, 2025
spot_img
Home Blog Page 100

The Case – Cancelling a Purchase Order?

The Case: Cancelling a Purchase Order? 

Alan operated a ladies wear wholesale company. He was approached by an investment company interested in purchasing a large amount of his inventory. The investment company was in the process of buying a nationwide chain store on the verge of bankruptcy, and they anticipated needing an enormous amount of merchandise. The merchandise, once purchased, would prepare the stores for a going-out-of-business sale. The investment company further requested to purchase from Alan an accessory item that he did not own, though he assured them that he could supply them with the item. Alan immediately reached out to Joe, owner of a ladies’ accessory company, and explained to him in detail the situation whereby his valuable contact was searching for merchandise. 

Naturally, Joe was pleased with the opportunity to move his inventory and offered the product to Alan at a reasonable price. Shortly thereafter, the investment company informed Alan that they were scheduled to finalize the purchase of the chain stores in just a few days’ time. They told Alan that thereafter they intended on placing their orders with him for immediate delivery, since by law, the running a GOB Sale has a time limitation. Under pressure for time, Alan finalized the purchase of Joe’s merchandise by completing a formal purchase order. The purchase order detailed the item, the quantity, the price, the delivery date, and the terms of payment.  

The very next day, the investment company notified Alan that their deal had fallen through. The nationwide chain store was not declaring bankruptcy, due to last-minute funding they received to continue operations. The investment company thanked Alan for his time and pledged to do business with him in the future. Alan phoned Joe to cancel his order, but Joe refused to accept the cancellation. In Bet Din, Joe explained that since Alan filled out a legally binding purchase order, he may not renege. Alan responded that Joe knew all along that his purchase of the accessory item was contingent on the investment company’s purchase of the chain stores. Alan provided emails that attested that he included Joe in every stage of his interaction with the investment company. Alan explained that Joe understood the possibility of the deal not going through and that the purchase order was only processed because of the immediate delivery requirements.  

Is Alan required to take the merchandise? How should the Bet Din rule and why?

Torah Law 

According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch, any form of transaction viewed as binding in local commercial markets is enforceable by Torah law. Hence, a signed purchase order, which is a standard binding transaction in today’s commercial markets, is enforceable by a Bet Din. Nevertheless, in rare instances, all forms of transactions are subject to cancellation, and thus, at times, even a purchase order can be rendered null and void.  

A sale that is predicated on a specific contingency is subject to nullification if the contingency of the sale is not executed. In a classic Talmudic case, an affluent elderly man was falsely notified that his son perished, and the man subsequently distributed his assets and properties to his friends and extended family members. When the elderly father was informed that his son was indeed alive, he requested to nullify the distribution and reverse the transfer of title awarded to the many recipients. His claim was accepted, and the transactions were nullified on the basis that it was only executed contingent on the passing of his son. Although no explicit contingency was stipulated, nevertheless, it was assumed by the recipients at the time of the distribution that the transfer was predicated on the passing of the son.  

Leading halachic authorities rule in compliance with the above-mentioned Talmudic law, and have consistently nullified sales when clear assumed contingencies were the basis for the transaction. In one city in Eastern Europe, a king requested to purchase all the white linen readily available in the city. The king contracted the services of a Jewish merchant, and in turn, the Jewish merchant ordered from other Jewish suppliers in the city all their available stock of white linen. Prior to the shipping of the merchandise, the king was overthrown in battle, and the Jewish merchant cancelled his order with the other suppliers. In Bet Din, the merchant was released from all obligation, since the suppliers clearly assumed at the time of the transaction that the order was contingent on the king’s ultimate purchase of the white linen. In short, an assumed contingency at the time of a sale can serve as the basis to ultimately nullify a sale.  

Additionally, considerable halachic debate exists regarding instances in which one signs a binding transaction, not for the sake of finalizing a sale but rather to expedite a potential sale. Although the document was signed, since both parties agree that the initial intent was only to expedite a sale, the sale is arguably not binding. While this is a matter of dispute, it can serve as additional reasoning for a Bet Din to release a party from its obligation to complete the sale.  

By Torah law, a party that has possession of the funds in dispute can withhold payment and rely on various opinions that support his view. The above-mentioned laws can serve as a basis to nullify a sale by releasing a purchaser from the obligation of a signed purchase order.

VERDICT:  An Assumed Contingency  

Our Bet Din ruled in favor of Alan by releasing him of all obligation. Although Alan signed a purchase order, nevertheless, it was clearly understood by Joe, the seller, that the merchandise was strictly purchased by Alan in order to sell it to the liquidating investment company. Joe understood prior to and during the time of sale that the enormous quantities of inventory being purchased were only to satisfy the liquidating company’s order. It was apparent to all that Alan had no intention whatsoever to shoulder the burden of owning merchandise in an unaffiliated industry. Hence, the sale was clearly contingent on the liquidator’s ultimately buying the merchandise, and was rendered null and void in the absence of their subsequent purchase. Furthermore, there is reason to believe that since Joe agrees that the purchase order was initially signed to expedite the order and not necessarily to finalize it, the transaction is inherently not a binding one. Additionally, since Alan is in possession of the funds in dispute, he is entitled to resist shipment of the merchandise and to withhold his payment based on the above-mentioned rulings.  

 

The Lighter Side – February 2022

FAST FLIGHT

An Illinois woman called to ask how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30am and got to Chicago at 8:33am. The agent explained that Michigan was one hour ahead of Illinois, but she couldn’t understand the concept of time zones. Finally, he told her the plane went fast… and she was satisfied!

Marlene A.

SILLY TRAVELER REQUEST

A New Jersey man called to make reservations. “I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.” The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, he said, “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?” “Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the man. After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, sir, I’ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find a Rhino anywhere.” The man retorted, “Oh, don’t be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!” So he scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?” “Whatever,” he replied. “I knew it was a big animal.”

A.N.

OVER-BEARING MOM

A young Jewish man was visiting a psychiatrist, hoping to cure his eating and sleeping disorder.

“Every thought I have turns to my mother,” he told the psychiatrist. “As soon as I fall asleep and begin to dream, everyone in my dream turns into my mother.

“Last night I even had a dream that YOU were my mother. I wake up so upset that all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast. And that’s what I did today before I ran over here for the session.”

The psychiatrist replied, “What?! Just one piece of toast for a big boy like you?”

Chanch E. Loo

CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME?

A man went fundraising to a wealthy Jewish philanthropist.
As he spoke to the philanthropist his voice breaking with
emotion, “I’d like to draw your attention to the terrible plight
of a poor family in this neighborhood. The father is dead, the
mother is too sick to work, and the nine children are starving.
They are about to be turned out into the cold streets unless
someone pays their $2,000 in outstanding rent.”
“Terrible!” exclaimed the philanthropist. “May I ask who
you are?”
The man wiped his eyes with his handkerchief and sobbed,
“I’m their landlord.”
Norman S.

A SECOND OPINION

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her motionless pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird’s chest. After a moment, the vet shook his head and sadly said, “I’m sorry, but your duck has passed away.”

The distressed woman wailed, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I am sure,” the doctor affirmed, “your duck is dead.”

“How can you be so sure?” she protested. “I mean, you haven’t done any real testing or anything. It might just be in a coma or something.”

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck’s owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on its hind legs, put its front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. It then looked up at the vet with sad eyes and shook its head. The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out of the room.

Seeing that the woman was still not quiet convinced, the vet then brought in a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, “I’m sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck.”

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.

The duck’s owner, still in shock, took the bill. “$1,500!” she cried. “$1,500 just to tell me my duck is dead!”

The vet shrugged, “Well, if you had just taken my word for it, the bill would have been $50. But you wanted more tests, so the Lab Report was $450 and the CAT scan was $1,000…”

Itsik Zetounie

Mashiah Revealed: Part 13 – Conclusion

Belief In and Properly Awaiting the Redemption

Rabbi Eliyhau Haim Aboud 

In this final segment of the Mashiah Revealed series, we will address what is likely the most critical aspect of this subject, namely, the belief in the coming of Mashiah and the anticipation of his speedy arrival.  

Our sages teach that each and every one of us, as members of the Jewish nation, is obligated to acknowledge and internalize this fundamental belief regarding the future of the world, and its transformation during the Messianic Era. 

The Thirteen Principles of Jewish Faith 

One of the thirteen principles of Jewish faith (as enumerated by the Rambam), which constitute the fundamentals of Torah Judaism, is the belief in the coming of Mashiah, as mentioned in the Torah and described at length by the prophets. Some commentariesi classify the belief in the coming of Mashiah and the final redemption under the Biblical command to believe in Hashem. The Rambam writesii that one who does not accept all thirteen principles (including the belief in Mashiah), whether as a result of conscious rejection or due simply to the lack of proper study and thought, has the status of an apikores (heretic), who is not considered a part of the Jewish Nation and will have no share in the world to come! Although of course such an individual is halachically Jewish, he is not an active part of the Jewish Nation and is excluded from the benefits applying to the nation as a whole. 

Awaiting Mashiah’s Arrival

While many of us are familiar with the fact that believing in Mashiah’s arrival constitutes one of the thirteen principles of faith, few of us are aware of the full extent of this belief. When the Rambam lists the arrival of Mashiah as one of the thirteen principles of faith, he presents this tenet as a dual principle: we must believe that Mashiah will come, and we must anticipate his arrival. The Rambam even concludes his comments by saying, “One who does not believe in Mashiah or does not wish for his immediate arrival is rejecting the teachings of the Torah and Moshe Rabbenu.”iii In fact, the Talmud teachesiv that awaiting and anticipating Mashiah’s arrival are so vital that one of the first questions posed by the Heavenly Tribunal to each departed soul is, “Did you anticipate the final redemption?” 

The Rambam further explains that awaiting Mashiah’s arrival also entails wishing for his immediate coming at every moment without any preconditions, specific times or circumstances, as we say in the fifteenth blessing of the Amida prayer, “Ki liyeshu’atcha kivinu kol hayom – for we await for your redemption the entire day.” Our sages tell us that awaiting the ge’ula (redemption) can actually bring the final redemption even closer, and, conversely, apathy towards our national redemption further delays its arrival. One Midrashic passage goes so far as to say that if there would be one generation which would earnestly wish for the redemption, Hashem would immediately redeem us! The Hida z.s.l. (Rabbi Haim Yosef David Azoulay, 1724-1806), writes that this precept, too, can be inferred from a blessing in the Amida prayer, where we recite, “Et semah David avdecha mehera tassmiah…ki liyeshu’atcha kivinu kol hayom – Quickly make the flower of Your servant David sprout forth… because we await Your redemption the entire day.” This means that even if we are as yet unworthy of redemption, nevertheless, the very fact that “we await Your redemption the entire day,” that we eagerly anticipate its arrival, should render us deserving of Mashiah already now.v 

Reasons for the Redemption

There are numerous reasons why each and every Jew should eagerly want Mashiah to come. For one thing, Mashiah will bring a permanent end to our suffering in exile under foreign rule. Secondly, Mashiah will reinstate the kingship of the royal house of David and elevate it to an unprecedented stature of power and grandeur. The kings will lead us, the Jewish Nation, in the fully independent land of Israel. The prophets describe the extent of Mashiah’s power and authority, depicting him as exerting his rule over the entire world.  

However, as important as these reasons are, we must bear in mind the trenchant comments of the Rambam in describing the central reason for eagerly anticipating redemptionvi: 

“The prophets and our hachamim did not wish for the redemption so that the Jewish nation will rule over the entire world, or subjugate the gentile nations, or so that we will be extolled and admired by the entire world, or to be able to eat and drink and make merry, but rather to finally be free to study the Torah and its wisdom without any subjugations and disruptions, so that we will merit the eternal life in the next world.” 

The Ultimate Purpose 

The Ramhal, z.s.l. (Rabbi Moshe Haim Luzzato, 1707-1746), in his classic work Messilat Yesharimvii, adds yet another critically important reason for praying and longing for Mashiah. Amidst his discussion of anticipating the redemption, the Ramhal writes that although the final redemption will free our nation from exile and put an end to all our suffering, our primary intent when praying for Mashiah’s arrival should be for the sake of Hashem’s glory. The Almighty’s honor is with us in exile, as it were, in that He is not clearly recognized as the sole ruler over the world by the gentile nations. At the End of Days, with the redemption of the Jewish people, Hashem’s kingship will be clearly seen and recognized by all the world’s inhabitants. The Ramhal writes that this must be the primary reason for anticipating the Messianic Era, beyond simply the realization of our national freedom. 

The Ramhal’s comments are characteristically profound and require extensive analysis and discussion. For our purposes, however, it suffices to cite the final passage in Pirke Avot which can perhaps shed light on the Ramhal’s comments: “Everything Hashem created in this world, He created solely for His honor.” Hashem created the world so that His name would be honored and extolled, and so we – His Chosen Nation, who are committed to serving Him and realizing the purpose of the world’s creation – should be primarily concerned with His honor when praying for the final redemption. 

This precept also constitutes the central theme of the Kaddish prayer which we recite many times throughout the prayer service. Kaddish begins with the words, “Yitgadal veyitkadash sheme rabbah – May the Great Name (of Hashem) be made great and sanctified,” and continues along this theme until it reaches its crescendo, when the entire congregation declares in unison, “Yehe shemeh raba mevarach le’alam ulalmei almaya –May the great name (of Hashem) be blessed forever and for all eternity.” This powerful tefilla expresses our nation’s heartfelt desire that Hashem’s name be recognized once again by the entire world through the coming of Mashiah in the End of Days. 

How Our Sages Await Mashiah 

The wedding invitation for the grandchildren of the great Hassidic Masters the Chozeh of Lublin z.s.l. and the Baal Hatanya, z.s.l. (the founder of Chabad), read as follows: “The wedding ceremony will be taking place in Eress Yisrael, in the holy city of Jerusalem. However, if by some chance Mashiah has not arrived by then, it will take place in the city of Lublin in Poland.” 

The Haffes Haim, z.s.l. (Rabbi Yisrael Meir Kagan, 1839-1933), was legendary for his earnest and sincere longing for Mashiah’s arrival. Members of his household related that he had prepared a special suit and packed a suitcase so he would be ready to immediately join Mashiah in Eress Yisrael upon his arrival. From time to time he would don the suit and actually sit and wait for Mashiah to come! 

When the magnificent, solid gold Aron Hakodesh (holy ark) was being prepared for the famed Ponovitch Yeshiva in Israel, the Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Yosef Kahaneman, z.s.l., prepared two chairs on either side of the ark, as places for Mashiah and Eliyahu Hanavi to sit upon their arrival. The chairs have remained there until today in the main study hall of the yeshiva in Bnei Brak.  

Someone was once driving the renowned posek Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, z.s.l., when he unexpectedly gave forth a deep sigh of anguish. When asked what had happened, Rabbi Feinstein explained that those were the final moments of the month of Nissan, which, the Talmud teaches, is the month slated for Mashiah’s arrival. The rabbi lamented the fact that yet another Nissan had passed without us being privileged to greet Mashiah.viii 

Hashem Awaits the Redemption 

The Midrash teachesix that Hashem Himself anxiously awaits the time for the final redemption, even more than a father awaits the return of his lost son or a woman awaits the return of her missing husband. Each and every night, the Talmud says, Hashem painfully laments the situation of His children in exile, and cries, “Woe unto the children on account of whose sins I had to destroy My house, burn My sanctuary, and exile them among the nations.”  

Rabbi Haim Palagi, z.s.l. (1788-1869), after citing this Midrashic passage, added the following remarkable commentsx: 

“Believe me when I speak, that whenever I read this passage my eyes fill with tears, as I think of how Hashem our king and master of the world is waiting so anxiously to redeem His children and bring upon them all the good of the world, and yet we still just go about our daily life preoccupied with our mundane affairs and don’t even think about bringing the redemption closer.”  

It is our sincere hope that this series has helped clear some of the confusion with regard to this topic, and has generated greater awareness of its importance to the Jewish nation. This is especially important in our present times, the generation before Mashiah. May we all be zocheh to live and see the realization of our nation’s wishes for the coming of Mashiah speedily and in our days.

From the Files of the Mitzvah Man Hesed Stories

Who Are You Going to Call Thirty Minutes Before Shabbat?

One wintery Friday afternoon, the Mitzvah Man received a call from a frantic woman, just half an hour before the start of Shabbat.  

The caller, Carol, explained that her elderly mother’s Shabbat food delivery did not arrive, and, of course, all the kosher stores were already closed. Since Carol’s mother lives in the Chelsea area of lower Manhattan and Carol lives in Brooklyn, there was no way Carol could possibly make it to her mother’s before Shabbat. “My mother lives all alone, and she relies on us!” Carol said, with panic in her voice. “I don’t even know what to do or who I can turn to! Is there any way you can please help us?” 

The Mitzvah Man switched back on his computer, and spoke in a calm voice. “Carol,” he said, “don’t worry. I will put out a call to our volunteers and will get back to you as soon as I have a solution.” He asked Carol if her mother has any food restrictions, and for her name, address, and phone number. As Carol gave him the information, he input it into his computer, with the notation “Emergency situation!”  

He noted that Carol’s mother lives alone, and in addition to being without food, she would welcome visitors. 

Within seconds the first volunteer responded. “I live in Manhattan in the 90s and will send an Uber with Shabbat food.” Next, a volunteer from Midtown, about a 30-minute walk from Chelsea, wrote, “I will go in an Uber to bring the food and will walk back home.” 

Another volunteer posted, “My family and I live in the 70s. It will be our pleasure to walk over to Carol’s mother to make sure she is alright and stay with her the remainder of Shabbat.” 

Only minutes before Shabbat, the Mitzvah Man called Carol. “Your mother is set up with meals for tonight and Shabbat day. One of our volunteers will walk over to your mother’s with his family Shabbat afternoon to check up on her, and will visit with her for the remainder of Shabbat.” 

Carol was nearly speechless. “Thank Gd! You really saved me, and my mother! Thank you so, so much. I was so worried that my mother would be without food for Shabbat. And now she’ll have food and visitors. I cannot thank you and your volunteers enough for doing such amazing hesed!”

Mabrouk – February 2022

Births – Baby Boy 

David & Adina Gammal 

Mr. & Mrs. Ariel Abtan 

Murray & Linda Shabot 

Isaac & Shulamit Erani 

Births – Baby Girl 

Nathan & Sarah Klein – Triplets!!! 

Bar Mitzvahs 

Jojo, son of Jimmy Kassin 

Albert, son of Jack and Loraine Cohen 

Engagements 

Steven Faham to Jaclyn Lubin 

Hymie Franco to Esti Choueka 

Jack Shomer to Trina Sultan 

Ralph Betesh to Marcelle Cohen 

Joseph Abraham to Linda Benun 

Maurice Mann to Joyce Khafif 

Weddings 

Abie Shalom to Aviella Goldsmith 

Elliot Elmann to Judy Sitt 

Albie Ebani to Bella Tobal 

Michael Ancona to Sarah Beyda 

Teddy Betesh to Rosette Zeitoune 

Morris Brown to Frieda Benzaken 

Modeling Good Values – Part Two 

We recently discussed the idea of modeling whatever we want to see in our children.  Here are a few more values we want to model. 

Model Communicating in a Healthy Way 

This is really important. We want to make sure we model for our kids how to communicate in a healthy way. 

Let’s say our child does something that perplexes us. For example, grabbing a toy from another child. Of course, we need to guide them, direct them, stop them, separate them, or do whatever needs to be done in a loving way. But we want to make sure that we communicate whatever we need to say to them in a healthy way.  

So instead of approaching the child and saying, 

  • What are you doing? 
  • How many times am I going to have to tell you the same thing?  
  • Why would you do that?!  

Try another way. Approach your child and communicate with an understanding that all that happened was that someone made a mistake. Isn’t that what we would want them to think of when they get upset? 

Try saying to your child, “I’m just trying to understand what’s going on. I saw that he had the toy. Did you also want to play with that toy?”  

When we say things like, “I’m trying to understand,” we model to the child that when another person is acting a certain way, they need to understand it, then it’s just coming to that understanding. There’s no judgment about it. It’s just, “I’m trying to understand.” 

That’s one way of communicating in a healthy way. There are many others. Just make sure if you want your kids to be communicating in a non-judgmental way, that you are saying and doing exactly what you would like to see from them. 

Model Respecting Boundaries 

Lastly, you want to model respecting boundaries. 

Boundaries are:

  • Your body belongs to you  
  • Your mind belongs to you  
  • Your heart belongs to you  

“Only you’re inside your head,” and “Only you know how you’re feeling,” are phrases I like to use to show that your mind and heart belong to you. 

Recently, a mother came to me complaining that her five-year-old son was arguing with her almost every night at dinner time, saying that he wasn’t hungry.  

He was fighting eating what he actually did want to eat because every time his mother told him to eat, he felt like he was being controlled by her. She said she felt he was fighting about eating to show her he was in charge.  

Well, children are really in charge of themselves! 

So, I told her that she should go back to him and say, “Mommy realized only you’re the one who is inside your head. Only you know what feels right to eat! I’m sorry. Mommy’s not going to be talking to you about it at the dinner table anymore!” 

That’s a boundary.  

And she said she experienced a massive turnaround with him. After that experience, he was able to eat on his own much better within a few short days! 

And if a child is having strong feelings, we want to tell the child, “Of course, only you know how you’re feeling!”  

So, if someone ever says to your child, “You did this because you feel/think…,” you can coach them to remember that only they know what they think. Only they know how they feel. But first and foremost, you want to show them that you believe that, too.  

Don’t act with your kids as if you know what’s going on inside their heads. You can ask them what they’re thinking or feeling if they don’t mind, but keep in mind that only they know how they’re feeling, and only they know what they’re thinking. 

Kosher Travel FAQ

Thinking of heading out for a trip? Let’s hear from Rabbis Moshe and Hayim Asher Arking about common questions that can arise while traveling and how to best deal with them.

Are there any segulot for a safe trip?

Giving tsedaka is, in general, a protection. Therefore, it is customary to give tsedaka money to someone who is traveling for him to deliver at his destination. This makes the traveler a “shaliach mitsvah,” a messenger enroute to perform a mitsvah, thereby gaining protection throughout his travels. Escorting someone who is going to travel is also beneficial for his protection.

Must I pray with a minyan?

If one is driving and can find a minyan by going out of his way within eighteen minutes, then one should take out the time and do so. If by continuing along his route there will be a minyan within the next seventy-two minutes, then one should continue on to meet up with the minyan. GoDaven.com has a database for worldwide minyanim. However, when praying without a minyan one should try to pray at the same time as a local minyan is praying.

May I pray while sitting?

While traveling, one may pray sitting if he will have more concentration this way. When doing so, keep your feet together while sitting. One should bow at the appropriate times to bow, by either bending forward in his seat or, if possible, stand up and bow. If one is a passenger in a car, he should preferably request that the car stop while he is praying the Amidah; however, if this is not possible then he may pray while the car is in motion. However, the driver  may not pray while driving, even if he will miss the time for prayer.

Which direction should I face?

Ideally, one should pray facing towards Israel. If one is in Israel face towards Yerushalayim, and if one is in Yerushalayim, face towards the Kotel. If one cannot determine the proper direction or feels he will have more concentration facing another direction, in his heart he should direct his prayer toward Yerushalayim.

When flying, how do I know when it is time to pray?

The proper time to pray or to recite Shema is determined by standing at sea level under the location of where your plane is at that moment. Just looking out the window may mislead you by up to a half hour, especially because many airplane windows are darkened during daylight. You can go to myzmanim.com where you can enter your departure, arrival location, and time and it will calculate your route and tell you all of your halachic times throughout your flight.

What if the “fasten seatbelt” sign goes on while I am standing praying the Amidah?

On an airplane, if passengers or staff are going to be disturbed by congregating, it is better not to make a minyan in the first place, and to pray individually.

If one was able to find a spot to stand and pray and the “fasten seatbelt” sign went on, one should sit down without saying a word or making any gestures and resume his prayer. Even if there is no danger involved it is proper to obey the rules and to be courteous to the staff who request that you remain seated.

May one pray in a non-denominational chapel?

Many airports or hospitals have rooms designated for prayer. As we know, one may not enter a church even just to sightsee. Since such a room is designated for people of all faiths to use for prayer, a Jew should not pray there.

If I am in the airport with my tefillin bag in hand, may I enter the bathroom?

Although anything holy must be covered twice before being exposed, tefillin is an exception; therefore, even in its regular tefillin/tallet bag it may be brought into a bathroom if it cannot be properly guarded otherwise. If there is a siddur or ketoret in the bag, then the bag will require one additional covering. However, do not place the bag with the tefillin in it on the floor.

Can I recite a beracha or pray if I am not properly clothed?

When praying one should be dressed as if he were having an important meeting. However, if in a pressing situation one can pray as long as something covers his chest and lower body, with a separation between the two. As for a beracha, as long as he is wearing something, e.g. a bathing suit, and one’s head is covered, he can recite a beracha. The covering of one’s head is to be with something other than one’s own hand (in a pressing situation, another person’s hand may serve to cover his head).

Can I recite a beracha or pray if others are not properly clothed?

One may not recite a beracha or pray facing any woman or girl over the age of seven who is not properly dressed. Ideally, one should turn around to recite a beracha; otherwise, if not possible, it is sufficient to close one’s eyes. When praying one should find a secluded spot where he can concentrate and not be exposed even to a screen showing anything inappropriate.

Can I wash my hands in the bathroom on the plane?

One can use the airplane bathroom to wash their hands for bread or for the morning netilat yadayim. One need not wash when walking into such a bathroom without using the facilities. However, for a regular bathroom, it is preferable for one to dry his hands outside of the bathroom.

What if I don’t have a cup to wash my hands with?

If there is no cup with which to wash one’s hands, one may turn on the faucet and wash with the first flow at each part of the washing. Therefore, one would place their hand under the spout and turn on the water then shut the water off, turn it on, then shut it off, three times. For washing in the morning, one would begin by placing his right hand under the faucet and then turning it on, then off. Next, place his left hand under the faucet, turn it on and shut it off, repeating this three times alternately.

If there is a lake or a pond, one may dip his hands into it, and then recite the beracha of “al netilat yadayim.

What if I have no water with what to wash?

If one has no water, one may use other drinks to wash one’s hands. A minimum of three ounces should be used. When using liquids other than water, a beracha of “al netilat yadayim” should not be recited.

If one is traveling and does not anticipate having water within the next seventy-two minutes of their journey, and cannot get water without deviating eighteen minutes out of the way, then one may wrap their hands (not the food) in a cloth or bag and eat, without touching the bread. So too, if one cannot get up without waking up his fellow passenger, then they can wipe their hands very well on a cloth.

May I eat the breakfast offered by the hotel?

Bread, bagels, muffins, and individual cereal packets require proper kosher certification. Fresh fruit, such as apples, oranges, and bananas, of course, do not need to be certified outside of Israel. In Israel, in addition to making sure all produce has been properly tithed (terumot and ma’asrot taken), this year is the Sabbatical (shmitta) year, which has many restrictions regarding produce.

Even if no other ingredients are added to scrambled or hard-boiled eggs, if prepared by a non-Jew the food is considered to be bishul akum and may not be eaten. The pan or pot used is also forbidden due to the absorption of bishul akum. Additionally, the pot or pan is assumed to be not kosher from other ingredients.

Juice that is 100% pure is fine (unless it is grape juice). Once any flavors are added the juice will require certification. In order to have 100 percent juice from a fountain machine that serves non-kosher drinks, such as non-certified fruit punch or pink lemonade, let its spout run a minute before taking some of the kosher drink. If juice is in the hotel pitcher, look for the original container.

Coordinated by Pnina Souid

Thinking of Selling Your Home?– Start Here

Are you thinking of selling your home this year? Not sure where to begin or if it’s worth it to renovate your home for the sale? Well, there are actually many ways to prepare your home for the sale besides renovations. But realize that homes that were recently renovated usually command higher prices than those that were not. Since Covid started, the Department of Buildings has been processing things more slowly, making it very hard get your requests approved. I have seen an increase of buyers who prefer a ready-to-move-in home and will pay a premium for that because who knows how long it will take to renovate their new home and if the Department of Buildings will even approve what they want. If renovating is not within your budget, no problem! Other ways to prepare your home for sale are improving your curb appeal, decluttering, depersonalizing your space, doing a deep clean, neutralizing the color palette, and doing minor repairs such as fixing cracks.

Decluttering your home is a real game changer. I see many homes that have a TON of items that are not in use (think baby walker, cribs, etc.) when all the kids are married and out of the house. Storing those things out of sight is an option if you want to keep them.

Thinking of Buying? Determine Your Non-Negotiable List

When you work with a real estate agent, they’re likely to ask you for a list of non-negotiable amenities – features that you deem are a must and you won’t consider purchasing a home without them.

If you’re about to search for a home, it’s a great idea to start to create your non-negotiable list now so you can determine exactly what you’re looking for. Not to mention, your real estate agent can help you pick out the best houses to show you that suit your needs!

Don’t forget – even your “non-negotiables” become negotiable when you see the right house.

This list just helps couples to start off with some basic ideas, especially when they have widely divergent expectations of what they must have.

New Buyers – Get Those Utilities Lined Up

New homeowners, listen up! Don’t make the classic first-time home buyer mistake of not coordinating with your utility providers before moving in.

This can easily be overlooked when you have a million other tasks to take care of during the home-buying process. But nothing’s worse than finally getting the keys and then realizing that you can’t take a hot shower or turn on the lights.

So, before you move in, make sure you get in touch with your electricity and gas providers to get everything transferred over to your name. The water bill is automatically switched by closing in New York and goes on the actual home, whereas you need to contact the electric company and gas company to get those service transferred to you.

Selling Myths

Selling myths are everywhere! Don’t fall victim to any of these false facts. Let’s bust some of the most common myths that agents frequently see.

A quick offer means the property is priced too low – A quick offer doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with the price of the home and various reasons like location and need could have made your home a more desirable candidate.

Overpricing a home results with a higher sale price – Don’t fall for this! If you price your home higher than what’s normal for the area, you risk scaring buyers away and leaving your home on the market for too long

Thinking the house sells itself – Even if your house has impeccable design, selling a home is still work! You have to deep clean, get it ready for staging, plan out a marketing strategy, and host open houses. Negotiating, looking into the buyer’s finances, and assuring they really can get a mortgage are super crucial to the deal as well.

Too many times, I see sellers say, “My home is beautiful, on the best block, it’s going to sell in a hot minute…” and I try to keep my comments back because in the past few years I haven’t seen more than a handful of homes that sold “in a minute.” For one reason or another it can take a few months to sell.

One on One with Sophia Cohen   

“My parents were my role models, my life and business guides, and always fostered spirituality.”     ~~ Sophia Cohen ~~ 

Just five minutes into our interview, I could already feel Sophia’s warmth and energy. Her robust work ethic, modeled by her parents, came through clearly as she spoke. 

Sophia, the founder of Urban Pops, is the daughter of Beverly and Sammy Ifergan, zichronam l’beracha.  Sadly, they passed away 16 months apart, about five years ago.  Beverly, of Syrian descent, met her Moroccan-born husband, Sammy, in the U.S.  Sophia is the youngest of three children, and has a brother and a sister. 

A carefree and independent girl, Sophia attended Magen David Yeshivah Elementary School and Yeshivah of Flatbush High School. 

“I was friendly and chatty, always on my rollerblades. My mother ‘let me be’ and encouraged me to do the best I could academically.” 

As I listened to Sophia tell her story, I heard her thankfulness for the positive life lessons she learned from her parents. 

Business Skills 

Sophia was a working woman from a young age.  Taking summer retail jobs during high school, she discovered that she was a natural at sales and possessed innate people skills. Sophia credits her father, a”h, for mentoring her. “He had a good relationship with all the fashion houses and after graduation, he helped me get a three-month internship at Versace, my first real job. It was a real learning experience to say the least.” 

After high school, Sophia was itching to work and to earn a salary.  One of her first positions was at a stylish eyeglass optique, the Alain Mikli Boutique on Madison Avenue.  “I typed up a resume, got dressed up, went into stores before closing time, introducing myself and distributing resumes.”  Due to her eager-to-learn attitude, she was assigned financial tasks as well as sales.  

Sophia firmly believes that a solid work ethic is more important than sharpening one’s entrepreneurial skills.  “Being ethical is my badge.  Before becoming an entrepreneur, you must learn how to work: that means showing up dressed appropriately and on time, acting respectfully, knowing when to talk, when not to talk, and displaying resourcefulness. It’s about character building.  My Versace internship taught me that we grow by being challenged and making mistakes.” 

After attempting the college route, Sophia recognized that she had already shined in sales and networking and so she decided to choose the business path. 

Sophia’s position with M. Hidary & Co., Inc., an apparel wholesaler, was life-changing.  Hired as a sales assistant, she advanced to a full-time sales representative with her own accounts and territories.  Sophia consistently demonstrated initiative in all her roles, and that quality helped her move up at M. Hidary.  She always strived to go above and beyond. Seeing that, her  managers allowed her to make cold calls to potential clients. Sophia developed relationships with these companies and at 21 she was sent on her first sales trip to Boston.  That assignment later generated millions of dollars in sales.  Sophia matured and thrived in her four years at M. Hidary.  

“My father was hugely instrumental in those years.  He gave me the best advice and celebrated my accomplishments with me.”  

And Then Came Marriage 

Sophia was happily growing her sales career when her naseeb, Gary Cohen, entered her life in 2004. The couple have six children: Beverly, 16, Isabella, 14, Ruby, 11, Albert, 8, Leah, 6, and Sammy, 3. They attend Yeshiva Derech Eretz.

A Balancing Act 

Keeping those balls in the air and juggling her sales career while raising young kids was no easy feat. 

While pregnant with her first child, Sophia decided that the fast pace and travel schedule at M. Hidary was no longer a good fit for her. She did some administrative work locally after Beverly was born. Sophia accepted an offer doing sales for a NY accessories firm following Isabella’s birth.  “I felt reinvigorated being in sales again. I left after two years when I became pregnant with my third child.”  After Ruby’s birth, Sophia sold corporate catering for Circa and created business connections with major Jewish and secular organizations.  

Who Doesn’t Like Ices? 

At home, Sophia advocated eating natural foods and healing through using natural products.  Her focus was always preparing foods that contributed to her family’s physical and mental health. 

The seed for Urban Pops was sown in the summer of 2012, when Sophia saw a recipe for ices. She struggled to give her kids a fun but healthy treat. Her solution?  Ices made with simple syrup.  Corn syrup was the culprit to avoid.  Simple syrup is made by dissolving sugar in water.  Sophia added fresh fruit and made sorbet that the family loved!  The next summer, Sophia was at a Brooklyn street fair with her mother and saw a kosher lemonade stand.  The ingredients the vendor used were kosher lemon juice and simple syrup.  Sophia thought, “I bet I can turn those ingredients into ices.” 

She made lemon ices for Shavuot, perfect for the hot weather.  The whole family had doubles and triples and couldn’t get enough.  Sophia then started experimenting with different fruits.  Kids were lining up around the block to taste her ices.  Her sister Alexis urged her to sell her amazing ices.  Sophia credits Alexis for giving her the confidence to launch Urban Frost (the original name), by posting her products on Instagram and helping her sell quarts of sorbet locally.  With Gary’s good palette, he became the taste tester.  A few weeks in, Sophia found it too overwhelming and took a break from the endeavor. 

Urban Pops Takes Off 

About a month later, a friend in Sophia’s Zumba class asked to order ices for the holidays and she agreed.  But Sophia had a different idea! As Gary was taking down their Sukkah, she poked her head out the window and asked, “Would you mind if I bought an ice pop mold and an ice pop book on Amazon?”  Gary said yes, and Urban Pops was born. Sophia pivoted from quarts of sorbet to pops! 

Sophia made pops with different flavors and unique names such as Strawberry Smash and Coconut Crush.  Her goal was to make as many of the ingredients from scratch, adding just the right amount of sugar to avoid the ices being too bitter or too sweet.  She posted pictures of the pops on Instagram, took orders, and sold out weekly.  The word spread fast. But Sophia and Gary were still employed at their respective jobs! She would come home, feed and put the kids to sleep, and then they would make ices until the wee hours of the morning to fill orders.   

“Gary was my taster and partner from the very start. We partnered beautifully in making Urban Pops a reality.” 

Sophia is convinced that they were blessed with the business when she gave birth to Albert, their first son. She remembers Gary telling her right after he was born, at 6:15am., “Mabrouk! We have a boy, and now I am going to Deal to deliver all the orders.” 

Sophia described the differences between herself and Gary and how well they melded. “I tend to jump before I look, get nervous, and panic quickly, but I do bring my best game if I have a good instinct.  Gary is calmer, more grounded, and his emunah is so strong. He balances me out.” 

The couple eventually left their jobs, started selling wholesale in addition to retail, expanding to Deal, the Sephardic Community Center, Five Towns, and Lakewood. When Gary joined Urban Pops full time, they were able to consistently improve business logistics and make the business run more efficiently. They were elated when they procured a permanent spot at SCC in 2015.  “Our community grew us into a business. There is no community like ours!”     

In the Beginning 

The early days included finding enough popsicle sticks and making their own toppings. Discovering dry ice was a big win.  Sophia is proud of her Instagram marketing including her first successful contest for followers to post selfies eating Urban Pops. “I don’t know how we did it.  When we made pops at home, we filled our orders all through the night on Thursday, and they were picked up after our kids went to school on Friday.  My mom cooked our Shabbat dinners in our house on those hectic Fridays.  We opened a concession in Allenhurst in our third summer and there was a huge hype about our pops and the cool flavors. I am the face of the business, but Gary deals with everything underlying it! The manufacturing, the office, the paperwork, and deliveries. He didn’t go to business school but figured things out as he became a business owner and grew the company.” 

Values, Passions, and Pastimes 

Sophia talks to her children about being blessed to attend yeshivah.  “The reason our community is so successful is that our Torah and traditional values provide a tremendous foundation, work ethics, and interpersonal skills.  We live and breathe them as a couple, a family, and in business.” 

Sophia’s passions are family, health, and business.  Natural and clean are #1 when it comes to her children and to Urban Pops.  Sophia exercises daily for self-care and grounding. 

Sophia’s Tips? 

Be prepared to take risks, go with it, have emunah, and remember where it’s all coming from. 

Connect with Sophia by phone (917-847-4688), email, sophia@urbanpopsny.com or on Instagram @urbanpops.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach.  Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.   Ellen works part-time as an entitlement specialist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services. She can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com). 

Dear Jido – February 2022

There seems to be an etiquette ritual of politely protesting when someone offers to do something nice for you. For example: 

Person 1: Lunch today is my treat. 

Person 2: Oh, that’s not necessary. You don’t need to do that. 

Person 1: But I insist. 

Is this necessary? Or is it proper to just graciously accept and thank the other person without the ritual protesting? 

I ask because someone recently offered to buy my lunch, then accused me of “giving up too quickly” when my response was “Thank you, that’s very nice of you.” 

Signed, 

Just Curious  

Dear Curious, 

I think I understand your dilemma. When your friend offered to treat you to lunch, s/he
really didn’t mean it or was joking (either before or after). Therefore, s/he was hoping you would
say, “No thank you.”  When you “gave up too easily,” s/he was either truly disappointed or was
then making a bad joke. 

In general, when a person offers you a free meal, a gift, a party invitation or the like, they are usually sincere and are happy when you accept it. In fact, a person is not allowed to offer something (1) they have no intention of giving or (2) to someone they KNOW would never accept it.  

The next time someone offers you something, the proper response is simply, “Thank you.” 

Thank you,

Jido