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One on One with Robin Shaoul

ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS

As I approach my four-year anniversary of writing this column, I feel incredibly honored to have interviewed many of the remarkable women of our community. What I enjoy most about this column is meeting these women, hearing their life stories, and taking away valuable lessons.

Robin Shaoul kicked off our interview with a clear-cut goal – to make a positive impact on the people who read this column. I can certainly affirm that hearing about Robin’s life, passions, goals, and insights, influenced and inspired me.

GROWING UP

Robin Shaoul, née Hafif, was born in Brooklyn and grew up on East 9th Street and Avenue R, the youngest of four children.

Her parents, both of Syrian descent, married at 19 and 20, respectively, and as Robin affectionately put it, “They figured their life out together.”

Robin’s parents were positive and active role models when Robin was growing up and are still her ardent fans. “My father has been a cheerleader for my progress in life and often has wise counsel to offer.”

ROBIN’S LOVE OF LEARNING

Robin’s passion for learning can be traced back three generations. Both Robin’s great-grandfather, who was born in Aleppo, Syria, and her American grandfather were very learned. Robin’s mother’s education and love of learning also deeply shaped Robin.

“My mother attended Magen David Yeshivah elementary school, which was rare for girls then. When my mother was older, her commitment to attending classes was inspiring.

Robin described herself as a shy child. However, at the same time, she added, “I had a sense of motivation towards advocacy and change. I didn’t like accepting the status quo if I disagreed with it. I would say to my classmates, ‘Let’s take this to the principal.’”

Robin admits that she was not the most serious student in the earlier grades, but she enjoyed high school much more. In high school Robin got the chance to meet students from diverse backgrounds, including Ashkenazi kids who came from other elementary schools. In college, Robin’s horizons expanded even more, as she discovered psychology, had to make more adult decisions, and became more independent.

After graduating from high school Robin went straight to Brooklyn College. She regretted not studying in Israel for the gap year but explained that at that time it was uncommon for Syrian girls to attend seminary in Israel.

MARRIAGE, CAREER, AND FAMILY

Robin met her husband, David Shaoul, while she was in college. She had learned from mentors to look for a partner who will help you fulfill your potential and be your best self. So, she kept this in mind as she and David got to know each other. He encouraged her to pursue her goals and passions. Robin realized that David possessed the attributes and values she was seeking in a life partner. “We complement each other and have a real partnership.”

David, six years older than Robin and also of Syrian descent, is a physical therapist who manages a home care agency. The couple married in Robin’s third year of college. Robin completed her undergraduate studies at Brooklyn College and went directly to Fordham University Graduate School for Social Work. She gave birth to her first child, a girl, while still in graduate school. Robin is so grateful to both her mother and mother-in-law for taking incredible care of their granddaughter while Robin finished her MSW.

Robin and David have three children. Their oldest daughter, Celia, 18, is studying in the Sha’alvim for Women seminary in Yerushalayim. Their 15-year-old son, Abie, and 13-year-old daughter, Shelly, attend Yeshiva of Flatbush.

“David has always championed my career and passions, graciously acknowledging my various roles and being readily available to step in and assist.”

As parents, the couple strives to create an environment in which their children do not have to be afraid to ask questions or explore any topic.

ROBIN’S PASSIONS

“I am very lucky to practice a profession that I love.”

People who go into social work want to make a difference in others’ lives. The field also allows one to pursue a passion for advocacy and social action. Robin’s love for spirituality is intertwined in her career.

Robin is honored to be a part of her clients’ journeys. In addition, she takes time for self-reflection to assure that she, too, is continuously growing.

Robin’s career as a social worker began at the SAFE Foundation, an outpatient treatment program to help patients dealing various addictions. Robin first connected with SAFE’s predecessor when she did her second year of graduate field work at a division of Sephardic Bikur Holim. This division was spun off into a separate organization called SAFE in 2003. Robin spent twelve years at SAFE, first as a general clinician, then as head of the Family Division, and finally as clinical supervisor.

ROBIN’S PRIVATE PRACTICE

In 2010, Robin opened a private practice. She currently assists with a variety of challenges including trauma, addictions, depression, and anxiety. Her treatment modalities include, but are not limited to, Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) and Somatic Interventions (using the body as a resource in healing).

Robin feels an immense sense of satisfaction as she helps her clients on their journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Beginning with her work at SAFE, Robin witnessed how extreme crises or challenges can lead individuals to the discovery of underlying strengths, empowerment, and a healthier life.

“When people face extreme crises, it often feels like the end of their world. They turn for help and in the process of healing, they discover parts of themselves they would otherwise have never known – a part that could use some nurturing, a perspective that could use shifting, a strength lying just beneath the surface, a dream yet to be fulfilled. They have no choice but to work on these parts that otherwise would have been left dormant. Finally, they discover life in a new way, with new lenses and new opportunities. They may realize that the original crisis was a blessing in disguise. They end up so much healthier and happier for it.”

WORK-LIFE BALANCE

Putting her family first, Robin always opted for part-time work to achieve work-life balance. “Mothering is so important and a mother needs time for self-care, too.”

To unwind, Robin loves to get lost in a good book. She chooses hiking as the ultimate way to disconnect from life’s distractions and reconnect to herself, her family (if they are with her), and Hashem.

I leave you with Robin’s uplifting advice.

“Pleasedon’tsellyourselfshort. Ifthereissomethingthat’simportant to you, find the resources you need to support you and go for it.”

You can connect with Robin by email at robinshaoul@yahoo.com or by phone – 917-723-5875.

Riddles – January 2021

Riddle: A Numbers Game

SUBMITTED BY MARK F.

What number comes next in each of these four mathematical sequences?
A) 6 9 12 15 18 ____
B) 29 25 21 17 13 ____

C) 2 4 8 16 32 ____ D) 13 17 19 23 29 ____

Previous Month’s Riddle: Party Mystery

David was going to a party. As he approached, he could see through the window that it was completely packed with people. David went inside only to discover that there wasn’t a single person in there. How could this be?

Solution: Everyone was married!

Junior Riddle: What Am I?

SUBMITTED BY ALICE P.

Each letter in the cryptogram below has been replaced by the letter that comes immediately after it in the alphabet. For example, B has replaced A, C has replaced B, and so on throughout the entire alphabet. Can you figure out the message below?

Dpohsbuvmbujpot po efdpejoh uijt tfdsfu nfttbhf. Zpv bsf b nbtufs tpmwfs!

Previous Month’s Junior Riddle: What Am I?

What has a thumb but no fingers and is not living?

Solution: A mitten!

Send your solutions!

Solved by: Ikey Gadeh, Belle Gadeh, Sarah Cohen, Fortune Azrak, The Shayo Family, Mark F., Celia Kassin, and Big Mike.

Once Upon a Thyme – Kale Caesar Salad

ADINA YAAKOV

Before heading to the city for a recent dental appointment for my daughter, I stopped by a local store to grab some salads for lunch. With many different salad options, I called my daughter at home to see which one she would like. I told her there was romaine, iceberg, kale, and arugula salads. Unsure of which kind of lettuce she wanted, my nine-year-old paused for a moment and answered, “I want the lettuce that gets massaged!” It was a funny moment, but I was super proud of my foodie daughter who knows how to treat her lettuce, even if she may not know it by name. Kale is a nutrient-dense food loaded with vitamin C, vitamin K, and antioxidants, but is naturally tough and fibrous. Massaging it breaks down those characteristics, leaving an easier to digest, easier to chew succulent lettuce, which tastes great in a Caesar salad.

SALAD:

  • 1 bunch kale leaves, washed and cleaned
  • 2 tbsp olive oil
  • 1⁄2 tsp salt
  • Grated parmesan
  • Croutons

    CAESAR DRESSING:

    • 1 tbsp olive oil
    • 3⁄4 cup light mayo
    • 1 tbsp mustard
    • 3 cloves

      minced garlic

    • 1 tbsp salt
    • 1⁄4 cup lemon juice
    • 1 tsp Worcestershire

      sauce

    • 1 tbsp honey

       

      1. Remove the stem from the kale with your hands by moving your hand
      down the kale stem, and the leafy part of the kale will fall off. Chop kale into small pieces and place into a large salad bowl. Coat the kale in olive oil and salt and massage the kale with your hands. Work the kale with your fingers by pinching and squeezing the kale for about 4 minutes. You’ll be done once kale is tender
      and soft.

      2. Add the garlic into the food processor and blend until chopped fine. Add the rest of the dressing ingredients until well combined and smooth. This recipe makes extra, it may be refrigerated in a sealed container for up to 2 weeks.

      3. Optional: To make croutons, use a knife to chop a few slices of old bread into small pieces. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with salt and Italian seasoning.
      Bake for 10 minutes at 350 degrees Fahrenheit until crispy.

      4. To assemble, place kale in a bowl and add Caesar dressing, toss to coat. Top with parmesan and croutons. Serve immediately.

Dinner Done! – Maple Salmon

if teriyaki is your usual go-to, try this one instead.

Leah’s mother has been making this salmon recipe for a while, and then her sister began making it. It’s a favorite, and honestly, no one remembers where it originated! It’s more up-to-date than teriyaki, but anyone who typically loves that sweet Asian flavor will love this, too.

  • 1 side of salmon
  • 3 scallions, sliced

    Maple Sauce:

    • 1⁄2 cup maple syrup
    • 5 garlic cloves, crushed
    • 1⁄4 cup soy sauce
    • 1⁄2 tbsp honey
    • 1 tsp mustard
    • 3⁄4 tsp crushed black pepper
    1. In a saucepan, combine all sauce ingredients and bring it to a boil.
    2. Place scallions on the salmon. Pour sauce over the salmon. Marinate
      for 1⁄2 hour.
    3. Meanwhile, preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Bake for 1⁄2 hour.

Tip: Preparing less salmon? Don’t need all the sauce? You can freeze it! Or prepare a double batch so it’s ready to go the next time you make it.

Yield: 6-8 servings

Hitting the Reset Button

TAMMY SASSOON, M.S.ED

If I had to name a few new disorders that could have developed in 2020 here would be a small list…

“Toothpaste Scarcity Anxiety”
“Will There Be Food” Fright?
“Children at Home Panic Disorder”
“Will There Be Camp? Horror”
“Will There Be School? Uncertainty Disorder” “Will Schools Ever Open? Dread”

“Voter’s Anxiety Disorder” “Generalized 2020 Anxiety Disorder”

UNCERTAINTY TAKES AN EMOTIONAL TOLL

Here we are at the end of 2020, having no clue what the future of our family lives or the future of our country will look like. If you are like many people, you may have had lots of nerves creeping up, and all the uncertainty has been getting to you.

So, how do you thrive with all those daunting thoughts in the back (or front!) of your mind? Let’s look at the natural, innate state of psychological wellness that you were born with. All babies are born happy and secure (that means you AND your kids). Nobody has to teach babies how to smile, or how to stop crying once they receive their food. Happiness and security are just part of our hard-wiring. We were not born with any opinions or beliefs. We either learned somewhere that we CANNOT cope with challenges and uncertainty or that we CAN cope with challenges or uncertainty. Now, as adults, we can choose which beliefs we want to hold on to.

YOU CAN SURVIVE THE CHALLENGES HASHEM SENDS YOU

Personally, I like to ONLY hold on to universal truths given to us straight from Hashem (We are so lucky that Hashem gave us an exact road map on how to live and think!). And one of those universal truths is that each challenge that comes a person’s way is uniquely designed with tons of LOVE, as an opportunity to fill their unique purpose in this world! (Yup, each of you has a very special role that nobody else on the planet could fill!)

Imagine that while you are serving your family dinner one night you find yourself barraged by unhelpful thoughts about being sent a challenge that you REALLY can’t live with. Your emotions become so intense that you almost start yelling at your children so loudly that all the neighbors could hear. You stop yourself and recognize that you are simply having unhelpful thoughts. It is time for a reset. You then can move to being in a subdued mood instead of being out of control. With this awareness of your unhelpful thoughts, you realize that you are perfectly capable of sitting with that discomfort, and you can be the mother you wish to be for your children.

Since we really have zero clue what our futures will look like (and indeed we will always experience one challenge or another – how can we grow if we don’t?!), hold on to this truth… Know that way before any challenge comes your way (no matter how huge it is), you have everything you need inside you to push through it and bring more light and joy into the world, as you make it a better place!

Now with that kind of knowledge – what is there to be worried about?

STEPS TO TAKE TO COUNTER YOUR WORRIES

If you find yourself feeling intense emotions, making you feel like you’re drowning in anxiety and worry, follow these steps:

Respect Your Feelings – Know, without judgement, that feeling any feeling is simply a part of the human condition. There is nothing wrong with you if you are feeling afraid!

Identify Your Thoughts – Are they helpful? Are they helping you to plan for the future? Or on the flipside, are they unhelpful? Do they bring you down? Are even they 100% true?

Reset Your Thinking – If you have identified your thoughts as unhelpful, RESET your thinking! It’s time to assure yourself that you are 100% safe, and that Hashem has created each and every one of us with the tools we need to get through any challenge in life.

Mabrouks – January 2021

Births – Baby Boy

Elias & Rachel Benggio

Joseph & Nataly Sultan

Aaron & Joy Bivas

Mr. & Mrs. Yossi Rouah

Moshe & Molly Esses

Harry & Shelly Shneps

Births – Baby Girl

Shimmy & Ida Azoolay

Ezra & Odette Tebele

Nathan & Claire Tawil

Bar Mitzvah

David, son of Adam and Margalit Romano

Morris, son of Amir and Jeanne Eliahou

Engagements

Jo-Jo Sasson to Jen Anteby

Nechemia Ashkenazi to Julia Shalom

Weddings

Albert Wahba to Sara Douek

Isaac Seruya to Yvonne Uziel

This is Mercy?

At times, people suffer from what they feel is unbearable pain. They have cried out to Hashem numerous times to prevent the specific situation they feared from occurring. They begged for His mercy, yet not only did the situation occur, but it happened in the worst way imaginable.

It could be a man going through a divorce, being separated from his children and becoming financially strapped. It could be a woman going through a divorce, suffering humiliation beyond belief and believing she has nothing to look forward to other than struggles and more shame.

It could be a man who is trying hard to keep his business afloat but instead it collapses and thrusts him into deep debt. It could be parents experiencing heartache – disrespect, name-calling, public humiliation – caused by wayward children, consuming their every waking hour.

The list goes on. The sufferers begin to question, “I prayed for Hashem to help me. I learned that He is kind and merciful, but how can you call this mercy? Not only didn’t Hashem help me, but He made it much worse than I could have ever imagined! I begged Him and begged Him – and this is what I get? I’m not a bad person. I try hard to follow the Torah. Is this what I deserve? Please, make some sort of sense out of this.”

The Chovot HaLevavot (Shaar HaBitachon 3) teaches us that we never know the exact reasons things happen to people in This World, but our Rabbis tell us that we are living in the End of Days and all the souls in This World have already lived once before. Every single person here is on a mission to fix whatever needs fixing in order for him to live forever in total bliss in Olam HaBa – the World to Come. We don’t know exactly what we have to do to accomplish our missions, but fortunately for us, Hashem does. In His complete and pure mercy, He puts every single person in the exact circumstances he needs to fulfill his purpose here.

Before we even came into the world, we were shown the lives we needed to live to fulfill this purpose. Knowing what was at stake, we practically begged Hashem for it. After we came here, however, we forgot about that. Now we ask, “Hashem, why are You doing this to me?”

Sometimes the situations are embarrassing. Sometimes they are painful, but if we actually knew what we are accomplishing in each circumstance Hashem puts us in, we would be thanking Him for each and every one of them. Perhaps we are pleading to Hashem for a certain result, but Hashem knows that if the results turn out the way we want, we could not accomplish what we are meant to be doing here.

Although it might seem like cruelty, in actuality, even when we get the opposite of what we hoped for, that, too, is mercy. A person could be a tzaddik, doing everything right. Maybe that is why he has the merit to experience what he is experiencing here to be able to take delight in Hashem forever.

Our sojourn in This World is very short: 70, 80, 90 years. The Next World is forever. That is where we are going to enjoy. The only way to do it, however, is to go through This World first.

If we can trust that even during the darkest times it is still our loving Hashem doing what is best for us, we will be greatly elevated. That itself can take the place of other difficult circumstances we were supposed to experience.

Hashem loves us more than we can imagine. Soon He is going to reveal this love to us, but for now, it is our job to trust.

EXODUS 5781 – Escape from Brooklyn

In the past several years, the community has seen a growing trend of young families leaving city life in Brooklyn and moving to the Jersey Shore. In 2020, we have seen a dramatic increase in the numbers of families departing from the city. The double punch of the COVID-19 pandemic and the volatile political climate with the accompanying violence caused droves of families to pack up their homes in Brooklyn and Manhattan and move into their summer homes for a year or even permanently. Families relocating is not at all exclusive to our community. Large numbers of individuals and families in large cities across the country have pulled up roots over the past nine or so months. We interviewed a few community members who made the move. Here is what they had to say.

JAMIE P. COHEN

We moved into our summer home in Deal temporarily due to COVID-19, and then we had a death in the family. We came to Deal for quarantine and stayed through the summer. With fall approaching we decided it was still too soon after the passing to leave my family,
so we switched our children’s schools and began preparing to stay the year in New Jersey.

So far, I’m really enjoying Jersey living. Everything seems more real, like real conversations, real relationships. Looking back, Brooklyn life felt like a rat race, with no free time, just rushing from one place to the next and searching for parking in between. In Jersey I’m doing things for myself that I haven’t done in years – connecting with friends, playing tennis, and I even took up piano again. It’s possible now because I’m able to get all my errands done so quickly here and then have time left over to invest in myself before the kids get home. I’m always signing my kids up for fun programs and now I get to do fun things that I’m interested in, too. All this me-time is making me a better mom.

Thus far, I have no downsides to report. My family is still in Brooklyn; however, I made the conscious decision to travel back for any type of family gathering, large or small. Regularly, I go into Brooklyn for a couple of hours to have lunch with my mom and sisters and then I
drive right back to Deal.

THE ADVANTAGES FOR THE KIDS

I see a big difference in my kids as well. They are all around freer. They play outdoors, both in school and at home, on Shabbat, and during the week, too. I’ve been loving DSN and so have the kids. Everything is organized so well, the kids go straight from school on the bus to their programs at DSN; it’s really so nice.

Another big plus is being in one home. We used to go back and forth not only for the summer, but during the year as well. We would travel to Deal for weekends or when the weather was nice. Now we never miss a beautiful day and we cut the schlepping right out of our lives.

As far as education, I feel as though my kids are learning much more in Jersey than they did in Brooklyn. Every Friday night the kids teach us a whole two-hour parasha lesson. They love to share what they learned. Hillel has been amazing. We’re only three months in at this point and I already got two calls from the principal, just checking in to make sure we’re happy with everything.

I would definitely recommend this move, especially for families with children.

OGLI HASHEMI

We did not plan this move before the pandemic. We moved into my grandparents’ summer home around April to quarantine and shortly after that things started falling into place. My husband is a dentist, and he found a practice. We also found a great place to live and it just made so much sense. The houses here are more affordable, and you get more bang for your buck.

We are love, love, loving it! This town is far less congested and stressful than Brooklyn. The community here is so welcoming to newcomers and at the same time is very tight knit. Everyone helps each other out. It’s really incredible. My son loves his new school and he’s enjoying being able to play outside on a sunny day. I would definitely recommend the move to young couples with children. The life here is far more seamless and overall enjoyable.

FRIEDA GRAZI

We moved to Jersey in May from Manhattan. Between COVID-19 and the riots taking a toll on the city, it was clear it was time for us to make a change. We didn’t originally plan to stay in Jersey. We just thought we would give up our Manhattan lease because it was getting far too chaotic there, we’d stay by my parents in Jersey for the summer, and then see where life takes us. Unless you grew up in Deal, you don’t generally imagine getting married and living there. I personally always thought I’d live in Manhattan for a few years and then settle down in Brooklyn.

THE UPSIDE

There were many factors that contributed to the decision to move. A major one for us was apartment versus house, buy versus rent. If we moved to Brooklyn after Manhattan, as we had always imagined previously, we would be settling for renting an apartment. Brooklyn homes are very expensive and rarely have sufficient parking, and large backyard space is typically non-existent. In Jersey we found a home and closed right away. This new home has space for my child to run around, a large driveway, and the price was much more realistic than a house in Brooklyn.

I am enjoying Jersey life. Going to the supermarket, or actually going anywhere, really is not a whole production. There’s never traffic along the way and there is always an ample amount of parking outside any place I go to run an errand. It’s an easier life here. I see how nice it is to bring up a family here, and on top of all that, it’s very pretty!

THE DOWNSIDE

But there are downsides for me, too. Things here are different than back in New York. I do have family here and I’m fortunate some additional family members moved at the same time as we did. However, there are things I miss. I miss my friends and the family still in New York. I miss the convenience and ease of walking down the block to my local bodega and getting the odds and ends that I need. I miss stepping outside my home and seeing lots and lots of people. In Jersey you’re less likely to run into people you know. So, you can’t just be spontaneous; you have to make an effort to make plans to get together and do things.

And the commute my husband does from NJ to Manhattan every day is tough for the both of us. For him it’s a three-hour round trip. For me it means being without him all that time. It’s unsettling to know that if anything happens he’s an hour and a half away. I will say it is not as bad as we anticipated. When we thought it over, we realized the alternative isn’t much better. The subway ride from Brooklyn to Manhattan is roughly a two-hour round trip and driving isn’t much better. The current situation is also not so bad because Fridays my husband works from home. I’d tell someone who is thinking about making the move to put the time and stress of commuting into the equation.

SUZY KISHK

We moved to Deal towards the end of March. We came because our kids’ schools shut down due to Covid and Brooklyn was all shut down. So we thought at least here we’ll have outdoor space in Jersey to feel free. At the time we did not expect to be staying, although previously we had discussed making the move permanently.

There were many, many contributing factors that led to this move. Some of the major ones were the Black Lives Matter movement overtaking cities with riots and the defunding of the
police movement, these were major things to consider. We have young children and began to feel less safe with the idea of going back to Brooklyn. Also, we always found the quieter lifestyle of New Jersey very appealing. It felt very safe, especially since it’s a suburb with a strong police force.

So far we are loving the lifestyle here in Jersey. It’s peaceful, I do what I have to do calmly without any traffic or aggravation. Errands are always in and out, quick and simple. We’ve found plenty of places to go out at night, with or without kids, there is an ample amount of entertainment and restaurant options.

We are enjoying it, although there are a few downsides. My family isn’t here, neither are my in-laws. The friends that we do have here are not within walking distance, even though they’re only a short drive away. Also, a funny thing I found is that in Brooklyn, the community has certain doctors and shops etc. that are tried and true. I knew where to go, and if not I would ask around and get clear or similar answers. Here, everyone uses a different doctor, pediatrician, different place to cut hair, different pharmacies, etc. I haven’t yet found my groove. I’m a little lost, but I understand that’s temporary.

I send my kids to Hillel and we’re very happy. The kids are learning a lot, the curriculum is solid. In their Brooklyn school they weren’t taught Hebrew before Kindergarten. Here they do, and again I’m very pleased with the curriculum thus far.

I would highly recommend making the move. In fact, I encourage it! Because I predict that when more people are here year-round, that even more restaurants will open up and will stay open all year round. We do have a nice amount of restaurants, but we would definitely be happier if there were even more!

Is the Land of Israel on Your Mind?

Many community members do have Israel on their minds!

In addition to loving the Jewish Homeland, many community members are considering purchasing an apartment in Israel for their future full-time residence or are thinking of buying a vacation home in Israel for when they visit. However, often people lack the proper information needed to actualize these plans. But there is good news: a newly formed community group, Syrian-Link Israel, has been doing the research you need. Their stated purpose is: Together we can build a flourishing Syrian Sephardic community in the land of Israel.

Syrian-Israel Link was created to strengthen our connection to the Holy Land together as a community, and serve as a one-stop hub for those seeking to learn more about spending time in Israel – be it in the short term, or long term.

The core team consists of community members Rabbi Moses Haber as president; Moshe Laniado, vice president; Eli Mizrahi, secretary; Ralph Sasson, treasurer; Daniel Levy, marketing and publicity; and Jack Terzi technology director.

New Buzz in the Community about Israel

“At the moment there is tremendous opportunity happening in Eres Yisrael. Our energies to promote investment in and/or support Aliya are not sourced in fear of current politics or the pandemic, rather in the historic realization that the Land of Israel is slated to be a success story for the Jewish people. This realization is surely reaching our community’s population now more than ever,” noted Rabbi Haber.

Rabbi Haber said that in the summer of 2020, more and more community members were discussing Israel. Last summer Rabbi Haber moderated an online conversation with Nefesh B’Nefesh representative Mr. Eli Bialik dubbed “Are You Thinking About Making Aliyah?” which was viewed by 150 people.

“The questions that were sent into the Zoom chat were very practical, which means there are many in the community already thinking about what it is going to take to make Aliyah, have dual citizenship, or begin investing in land or apartments,” Rabbi Haber said, noting also that many reached out to him afterward for more information.

Syrian-Israel Link – Source of Vital Information

Soon after, Rabbi Haber sought to spearhead an official group that would help focus the “disjointed conversations” that people were having in the community.

“Throughout our Zoom calls during the pandemic, we really created an understanding between us that this is an essential and important thing for us to do. But we wanted to do something the right way, in an organized fashion.” said Rabbi Haber.

An apolitical non-profit organization was born.

Currently, the team is focused on gathering data from the community via a formal survey. The information collected will help SY-Israel Link present up to date and accurate information to community members in an organized way. The SY-Israel Link survey will help identify significant information about the respondents, such as their age bracket, their time frame for buying real estate or making Aliya, their projected budgets, and the locations they are considering. Nearly a hundred and fifty people have filled out the confidential online survey.

According to Moshe Laniado, information gleaned from the survey reveals that community members from different socioeconomic groups are looking to make Aliyah. Additionally, the majority of people do not know where in Israel they would like to settle, or buy a home.

Direction towards Areas with Syrian Community Members

That is good news for SY-Israel Link, because it means that potential Olim are open to different locations and helping them to find a place with like-minded community members should be easier if they are all not insistent that they must move to Jerusalem.

Rabbi Moses Haber
Ralph Sasson

“People are looking for guidance in terms of what location would be the right fit for them,” Laniado said.

He noted that the survey also revealed that not everyone wanted to dive right in to moving. “The top responses in terms of reasons for looking to buy a home were for a security home, a retirement home, a steppingstone to making Aliyah one day, and even a vacation home.”

Rabbi Haber said the first step for community members considering Israel is education. The next step is investment guidance, with an eye towards directing community members towards existing Syrian communities in whichever location they choose.

“The long-term goal is to eventually be able to create a community in Israel where people move into, in order to make sure our traditions and way of life continue for generations to come,” said Eli Mizrahi.

The Challenge of Maintaining Our Unique Identity

Eli Mizrahi noted that over the past twenty years or so, those from our neighborhoods who made Aliyah have found it difficult to “mimic the life they had in America, in terms of community, family, and religious values, that they cherished so much. Our goal is to develop similar community experiences in the Land of Israel one step at a time. This effort will bridge our local community’s strengths along with those of us already living in Israel.”

He continued: “We know our community is very unified, whether in communal or religious ways. When our people get to Israel, they oftentimes lose a piece of their identity. They end up getting ‘assimilated into the local society’ that exists in Israel. There is nothing essentially bad about that; it’s just that a piece of our rich heritage gets lost. What we’d like to do is to give people a path to get into Israel, where they can still find a replica of the community lifestyle that they are so used to. That can even be fueled by those who aren’t necessarily making Aliyah, via the purchase of a vacation/investment home, in an area that is already inhabited with some of our community members.”

As such, they’re looking to foster multiple geographic-specific Syrian communities in Eres Yisrael.

“One of the main things we are doing to get everyone together is identifying the areas community members are currently in, as well as identifying the areas members want to go to. That is what we think will give people the unifying sense,” noted Eli Mizrahi.

Syrian-Israel Link’s research has successfully discovered that over the last three decades at least 140 Syrian families have already purchased a home or made Aliyah in five general clusters. The families are Geo Pinned on a Google map, located on the website, without the families’ names. This map will serve as the organization’s launching pad for “Inspiring, Motivating, and Unifying” the next wave of our community members who are en route to the Holy Land for any given reason.

Link Up with Trusted Professionals

Many of the board members already have experience with multiple transactions of buying and investing in the land and are eager to share that information. “They’ve made the mistakes, have gone through the process, and have learned from them,” said Rabbi Haber.

Meanwhile, the group is accumulating their own network of on-the-ground lawyers, mortgage brokers, accountants, and other professionals. “I believe at the right time we will be publishing a list of those people – people who are viable in negotiating those things on behalf of the community,” he added. The group has also connected with some members of the Knesset about the idea. “We’ve had a couple of conversations where they are waiting with open arms for us to facilitate and navigate these opportunities going forward,” said Eli Mizrahi.

In addition to the Syrian-Israel Link website, the board of directors is willing to help and offer support to those who have any questions.

If Israel is on your mind, please do your part and fill out the survey. The information you provide will help SY-Israel Link reach its goals of “Motivating, Inspiring, and Unifying” our community in the eternal Holy Land.

For more information and/or to take the survey, please visit
https://www.syisraellink.com/

Dear Jido – January 2021

Dear Jido,

I have a lovely mother-in-law. She is an amazing grandmother and I can rely on her to do what she says she will do. However, she can also be selfish and overstep boundaries, and this seems to be getting worse as she ages.

When I ask her questions, like does she want to do this or visit on this date, or when I try to gently establish a boundary, sometimes I get a look and a non-answer. But, it is not because she doesn’t hear me. Typically it’s when she doesn’t want to do something or doesn’t agree with me, but I am not sure. I don’t expect her to agree or to say yes, but sometimes I do need an answer to continue planning. I just feel it’s rude not to respond or say SOMETHING. I have said things like, “What do you think?” and I still get a non-answer. It feels like a control tactic to me.

Any suggestions?

Signed,
Controlled

Dear Controlled,

So what’s the question? Of course, you’re being controlled. It is very likely just one way of her asserting and maintaining her independence. I am not suggesting that you were being disrespectful, just that she is, in effect, telling you, “No, uh-uh, I’m still in charge, not what I want, figure something else out.”

So what DO you do when you need to make a plan? Tread lightly and do it with love. MAYBE even sit next to her and hold her hand. Try this:

“Grandma, I was thinking of doing X on Tuesday, Thursday, or Friday.
Which do you prefer?”
If she answers, fine. If not, say, “I like Thursday. What do you think? 10:30 or 12:00?”
If she answers, fine. If not, say, “It’s better for me at 10:30.”
If she answers, fine. If not, say “Okay, Grandma, so I’ll see you
Thursday at 10:30. Bye. Love you.”
If she answers, fine. If not, say, “Bye, see you then.”

She’ll probably tell you, “Okay, 1 o’clock on Wednesday,” before you get to the door and then you can negotiate from there.

Jido