DAVE GORDON

Are you ready?! 

The world is opening up again. Travel restrictions have been eased and most mask mandates have been removed. For many, that means taking those long-awaited trips and vacations, after two-years of staying close to home. So, where should you go? Whether you want to head out to someplace close by, or prefer a destination farther away and more exotic, take a look at some ideal choices we’ve already figured out, so you don’t have to spend your precious time wondering what to pick or where to go.

Eleuthra, Bahamas 

This stunning island in the Bahamas is famous for its natural beauty and is only about a twenty-minute flight from Nassau airport. For families, we recommend booking your stay at the spacious suites at Daddy Joe’s. You can enjoy the luxuries of a fully furnished living room and kitchen area, with ample play area in the bedrooms, designed to let you sprawl out in comfort.  

Eleuthera boasts a wide variety of world-class attractions. Nearby beaches are clean and well-kept. Do not miss one of nature’s true wonders, the Glass Window Bridge. This 30-foot strip of land acts as a divider between the deep blue waters of the Atlantic Ocean and the calm turquoise-blue waters of the Caribbean Sea.  

Queen’s Bath is an exciting phenomenon. Just a few yards away from the oceanfront, it is a jacuzzi-shaped rock formation containing hip-deep naturally heated waters. Sand Dollar Beach is technically not a beach, but is a sandbar, surrounded by clear blue-green water. You will find the white sands here exceptionally fine and silky. Tourists are advised to visit Sand Dollar Beach at low tide, when the chances are even better for finding sand dollars. 

If you visit the Bahamas during off-season, you may be lucky enough to enjoy those pristine beaches all to yourself. But the warm waters, year-round, are a special treat, even if you run into other tourists. 

Harbour Island hosts, among many attractions, the renowned Pink Sand Beach, where the sand gains its unusual color from bits of microscopic coral insects interspersed in the sand.  The pink sand is always cool, so it is a treat to walk on with bare feet, even when the weather is hot.  

Golf carts are a fun method of transportation through the narrow Harbour Island roads. These are easily available for rental. One can drive/wander amongst the boutique shops offering locally made apparel and knick-knacks. But don’t miss taking in the scenic routes that feature the area’s local architecture. 

For a fun adventure, head out for a snorkeling trip, led by Bahamas Ocean Safaris. Enjoy swimming among the vibrantly coloured Caribbean fish in the coral. 

Food: Virtually every major supermarket has plenty of items with U.S. kosher certification, including imported canned goods, breads, fish, and spreads. Fresh exotic fruit is everywhere. 

Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic 

The Dominican Republic is famous for its cigars, resorts, beaches, and rich history. This all-season holiday destination attracts millions of tourists each year. Community members can feel good about supporting the economy of the Dominican Republic with their tourist dollars, as the country is one of the few that opened its doors to Jewish refugees fleeing Nazi persecution. 

This era is chronicled at the Museum of Jewish History, in nearby Sosua. Located right next to the city’s synagogue, the museum preserves the memory of those Jewish refugees who sought a haven on Dominican soil and left their mark on the region. The museum houses photographs of early-to-mid-20th-century Jewish immigrants, along with diary entries, ritual items, and copies of letters from Jewish agencies during the war. 

Before the Second World War, in 1938, U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt summoned the Allies to Evian, France, for a conference on how to handle the exodus of Jews seeking to flee Nazi persecution. Though most participants expressed their sympathy, no resolution was formulated. There was, however, one notable exception. Of the 32 countries that sent delegations, only the Dominican Republic agreed to receive 100,000 refugees, offering land resettlement under generous conditions.  

Between 1940 and 1945, the Dominican Republic government issued 5,000 visas for displaced Jewish refugees. Tragically, however, the actual number of immigrant arrivals never reached anywhere near this figure. This was due to the escalation of the war, and also may have been due to delays caused by the Jewish Agency. (Interestingly, in 1916, the president of the Dominican Republic was Jewish, President Francisco Henríquez y Carvajal.)

Suggested luxury stays that offer the feel of home:

Villas Agua Dulce is a jaw-droppingly elegant and spacious facility. Each villa has a fully furnished living room, dining room, and laundry room with a washer/dryer. Three-bedroom villas can accommodate a family of seven. Also included are an outdoor patio, outdoor private pool, a spa centre, tennis and basketball courts, and Bauhaus interior design.

Cabarete Palm Beach Condos are centrally located in the Cabarete area, with the beach and tourist strip right nearby. Each condo has a fully equipped kitchen, living room, dining area, and outdoor patio.

Suggested Adventures: 

Monkey Jungle: After enjoying the 4,500-foot, seven-station zip lines overlooking the trees, visit the adjacent capuchin monkey reserve. Scores of adorable monkeys bounce around from tree to tree, hop on to your shoulders, and nibble straight from the fruit plate in your hand. 

Ocean World: This is where you can swim with sharks and dolphins and kiss the sea lions.

Tip Top Catamaran: Take a ride on the 75-foot-long catamaran. Tourists are offered the chance to experience the vibrant underwater world through snorkeling Sosua Bay (equipment is provided). Immerse yourself in schools of fish, peer at the coral, get facetime with a puffer fish, and play with the sea urchins.

Waterfalls:  Twenty-seven waterfalls of Rio Damajagua are tucked away in the hills of the Northern Corridor mountain range, behind tall stalks of sugar cane. In addition to the mélange of outdoor activities – such as cliff jumping into natural waters and climbing through caves – you are surrounded by forest. And, depending on the season, fruit will be growing from coconut, avocado, coffee bean, and mango trees.

Kiteboarding: Think of yourself hovering over the ocean on a surfboard, propelled by a giant inflatable kite, and you have kiteboarding. Dare2Fly provides kiteboarding packages, lessons, and rentals.

Rancho Luisa y Tommy: Try a horseback ride with owner Tommy Bernard. He will treat you to engaging conversation on topics relating to animals, and almost anything in life.

Food: Major supermarkets have items with U.S. kosher certification, including imported canned goods, breads, fish, and spreads. Fresh exotic fruit is everywhere.

Toronto, Canada 

For something nearby, say hello to our neighbors to the north, with several quick and budget-friendly flights available in summer and fall. One plus is that the U.S. dollar is usually worth 25 percent more value in currency exchange than the Canadian dollar, so you can get more for your money.

If you enjoy artifacts, history, and art, the downtown core alone is home to five amazing indoor exhibit halls that can easily fill your days. Start with a deep dive into archaeology with Royal Ontario Museum, and a wide range of sculpture and painting at Art Gallery of Ontario. Go hands-on with kid-friendly Ontario Science Center and see the exotic fish at Ripley’s Aquarium (open 9am to 9pm!). Casa Loma is a real castle and offers an all-ages time warp experience. There you can see what life was like hundreds of years ago.

For another blast from the past, but this time outside, head to Black Creek Pioneer Village, where visitors see a town built as though it was in the Colonial era. From locals chopping wood, cooking their meals, and raising farm animals, many enjoy striking up conversations with villagers to understand how they live and work. This is an obligatory school field trip for many schoolkids.

For something a little more intense, try a harbour cruise – a beautiful boat ride with guides who will help you spot the landmarks of the city, from the water. And experience Toronto’s answer to Six Flags, Canadian National Exhibition, a collection of carnival rides and games, open in the summer months. 

Whether you want to window shop, or really shop, three areas are up your alley downtown: Yorkville (for the posh and sophisticate), Eaton Centre (which was once the largest mall in the world), and the Queen’s Quay boutique shops near the waterfront. 

And you never have to go very far to find good, kosher food. At the Toronto Blue Jays’ stadium, you can find a kosher hot dog stand. King David Pizza has a location downtown. In midtown and uptown, there are about three dozen kosher restaurants with all different types of cuisine to choose from. The local kosher caterers will deliver to your hotel or Airbnb for a small service fee. Nearly all the supermarkets in the uptown area along the Bathurst corridor feature large kosher aisles. 

Of course, that is just a shortlist – you could spend a week in Toronto and still not cover all of the tourist destinations. 

So, get out and enjoy, at long last, that vacation you have been dreaming of for the past two years! 

As the needs of the Sephardic community on the Jersey Shore have grown, the Ohr Halacha institute has expanded its range of services, devotedly fulfilling its mission statement: “To learn, to teach; to observe, and to practice.”  

The institute began around eight years ago as a semichah (rabbinical training) program under the guidance of Rabbi Eliezer Harari, shelita, and other senior rabbis. The goal was to prepare promising young Sephardic scholars for a career in rabbinic leadership, through intensive study and an assortment of instructional methods. The ambitious curriculum covers large portions of Shulhan Aruch, with the students learning each topic in the original Talmudic sources, through the commentaries, to the practical application of the halachah as codified in the Shulhan Aruch and discussed by later scholars. The students are given challenging tests, and receive training in homiletics and public speaking with Rabbi Yaakov Franco. Ohr Halacha graduates have been giving classes in Deal, Lakewood, Brooklyn, and elsewhere. The successful semichah program continues to be the nucleus of, and driving force behind, all of Ohr Halacha’s services.  

Besides preparing the next generation of rabbinic leaders, Ohr Torah set out to directly serve the community by meeting a wide variety of needs through a vast network of programs operating under the name “Ohr at the Shore.”  

Sofer Center  

Staff:  – 

Rabbi Mordechai Nahem, shelita – founding sofer 

Rabbi Hayim Asher Arking 

Rabbi Victor Kohen 

Rabbi Shlomo Teherani 

Rabbi Shaul Laniado 

The Sofer Center, located in Deal, was founded over thirty years ago by Rabbi Mordechai Nahem, shelita, to grant community members access to top-quality tefillin and mezuzot at affordable subsidized rates.  Under the tutelage of Rabbi Nahem, and then Ohr Halacha, the center has trained a team of talented, expert sofrim who are available to serve the community in all matters relevant to tefillin, mezuzot and Sifreh Torah. Boys preparing for their bar-mitzvah are invited to the center to watch their tefillin as it is put together, an experience which leaves them inspired and makes a deep impression that remains with them throughout their lives. The center is currently training additional sofrim in order to expand its services further. 

Shaatnez Center 

Staff: 

Rabbi Moses Hidary  

Rabbi Hayim Asher Arking 

Rabbi Victor Kohen 

Rabbi Menashe Kuinov 

The Shaatnez Center, also located in Deal, consists of a team of shaatnez examiners who have mastered a 60-hour course in which they studied all the intricacies of fabrics, and the methods for identifying possible shaatnez (forbidden combination of wool and linen in garments). The center runs not as a business, but rather as a community service to enable all to easily observe this mitzvah. Recently, a community member called to schedule a time to bring items to be checked, and the shaatnez examiner asked him to specify what kind of garments they were. He was then able to determine that these items do not require checking, as they can be presumed shaatnez-free. The caller thus did not need to pay a fee. Ohr Halacha rabbis are also available to teach individuals or schools about the prohibition of shaatnez and its practical implications.  

Ask the Rabbi  

Staff: 

Rabbi Yaakov Meir Baruchov 

Rabbi Binyamin Seruya 

Rabbi Yaniv Azoelos 

Ohr Halacha’s “Ask the Rabbi” team fields a broad range of halachic questions from community members, helping them to live a proper observant lifestyle in accordance with our ancient traditions. Many of these questions require extensive knowledge and thorough halachic training, which Ohr Halacha’s students have received from the Kollel’s intensive academic program.  

Berit Mila and Pidyon Haben  

Ohr Halacha’s Rabbi Hayim Arking has been servicing the Deal community as a mohel for ten years. Additionally, the institute has produced clearly-written English booklets explaining berit milah – including the Zohar (the special reading on the night before a berit) – and pidyon haben, enabling participants of all backgrounds to understand, appreciate and follow along with the ceremonies.  

JSOR and Home Kosher  

Jersey Shore Orthodox Rabbinate is the prominent kashrut organization serving the Deal area and beyond. Ohr Halacha trains its students in the field of practical kashrut, preparing them for the roles of kashrut administrators and mashgihim (supervisors), and to answer intricate kashrut-related questions. The institute sees kashrut as representing the interface between the modern world and the ancient wisdom of halachah, and it is committed to rising to this challenge and ensuring that strict halachic standards are maintained in our industrialized society. 

Torah Learning Classes and Havrutot 

It is essential for every individual to have a havruta (learning partner) with whom to study Torah, and Torah classes to attend that are suitable for his level and background, so that he continues to grow and develop. Ohr Halacha has therefore arranged a large network of classes and learning programs serving the community. Anyone who would like a havruta or a class any time of the day or evening, weekdays or weekends, is invited to reach out to Ohr Halacha (contact information provided below). 

Publications  

FAQ Editorial Board 

Rabbi Binyamin Seruya 

Rabbi Yaakov Meir Baruchov 

Rabbi Ezra Ghodsi 

Rabbi Moshe Yagen 

Ohr Halacha has produced numerous publications, including FAQ booklets on a variety of topics, such as the holidays; Zohar and Hanukat Habayit books with explanation; Ketuba in Halacha; Musarei HaTorah; and a book on prayer. The institute invites anyone who is interested in obtaining these valuable texts to reach out for more information.   

To learn more about Ohr of the Shore’s wide range of services, please call 732-359-3080. A menu will be presented to lead you to the specific service you are looking for.

 L’ilui nishmat Linda Bat Estrella Arking, a”h

I believe that going to Deal for the summer is a privilege. For most it’s an expensive venture, which is why the majority of community families decide to bunk up together for the summer months. Living with extended family can be tricky. Navigating a summer with different family members, with their own ways of doing things and their own needs, may be challenging. But for those who head off to a summer together, they recognize that the challenges they face are worth it, since the alternative might be to not get away at all.  

Some of the typical dynamics come into play when the parents own a home and they invite their adult children along with their families to come live under the same roof. Offering to host is a magnanimous gesture, and the parents can sometimes feel taken for granted. Inconveniences come in the form of messes left on highchairs, grandkids with no bedtimes, finding the house extra messy at all hours of the day, or grandparents treated like built-in babysitters, to name a few. 

 It’s not so easy on the kids, either. At home you could leave dishes in the sink and the highchair a mess until the housekeeper straightened up. But when living with parents, adult children might find themselves constantly reminded to pick up after their children, and this can be really stressful. Add to this the expenses for groceries, housekeepers, etc. Some families  wonder why did they move in together at all? Is it really worth it? 

I recognized that had I asked my followers to just tell me about their summer experiences, I would hear a lot of complaints!  But I wanted this article to be helpful, so instead I asked for tips. Are there any guidelines or boundaries that people put in place at the beginning of the summer to help things run smoothly? Here are some of the responses I received.

Jamie Cohen

The key for us is rotating dinner nights. Instead of one person being in charge of cooking, or everyone cooking for their own family, we take turns cooking dinner for the house. This way it’s fair and we all have off days where we don’t have to think or worry about it. 

We also break up the shopping, one person is in charge of the Costco run, another Wegmans, another kosher stores, etc. 

Rotate dinner nights. Don’t make dinner for just your family, each family can have a night to make a large meal and then have off a bunch of nights.  

Another awesome tip is to get one credit card. All expenses for the house go on that card and you split it between each family so no one feels like they’re carrying the brunt of the expenses. 

Leah Nachmani @dumbanddelish 

Even before the summer, make rules and plan to stick to them. A good rule is that children of similar ages should go to bed at the same time. This seemingly small rule can make all the difference. If you’re going to have multiple housekeepers, discuss ahead of time what you pay them and consider leveling the playing field, even it’s just a summer bonus, because they will compare paychecks and if they are not getting equal pay things can get hairy quickly. 

Summer can be hard on couples because alone time can be hard to come by. Try your best to prioritize a weekly, or at the very least bi-weekly, date night. If you don’t have childcare at night you can use each other to babysit! This takes a little planning, but if you have a set schedule that you agree upon, one couple can babysit while others go out, and then you rotate.

Grandma B

I’ve got lots of advice on this topic! For starters, don’t get into each other’s business. You should practice looking the other way when it comes to other families living in your home. When you live with your kids and your grandkids, don’t try to parent your grandkids and don’t be a parrot to the parents. Let the kids’ parents take care of things their way. If you have an opinion keep it to yourself or discuss it with them in private, not in front of the kids. You never want the kids to feel they can side with you and defy their parents. Trust me, if they want your help, they will ask for it 

Also, let the atmosphere in the house be easy and don’t harp on everything. Of course, things will bother you. But you have to learn to let things go. Remember, you invited them into your space. There are ways to have your own space without an argument. When something is really bothering you, go for a walk or do a home goods run and when you come back hopefully everything will have settled.  

Don’t stress over dinners. If you are making dinner make it for everyone in the house, not just for your own family. If your kids don’t want to eat what you made and your daughter/ daughter-in-law makes chicken nuggets for her kids, don’t say, “But I made a whole dinner!” She knows what her kids will and won’t eat. 

Laundry is a big thing in my house. We have a lot of little kids that need their stuff, so afternoon works best for me to do my laundry, or early morning before the rush. 

Also, remember they are moving into your space. Make designated closets in the kitchen for the snacks and cups and bottles so they have space, and so they feel comfortable in your home. 

Make a list at the beginning of the week for someone to do the food shopping. If you have more than one family living with you alternate who does the shopping, but be prepared for the mom (grandma) to be the main person that does the food shopping. 

My last tip is to be mindful of everyone in the house and to respect everyone’s privacy.

Terry Nigri

I share my summer home with one of my best friends and her family. I think letting things go is the best thing to do. It may be difficult at times, but the benefits far outweigh all the little annoyances. Here’s something we’ve done to make the summer run smoothly. We both got credit cards which we only use to charge things we need for the house, such as groceries and supplies. At the end of the summer, we tally up and split it down the middle. We also do rotating dinner nights so we each have free days and dinner days. It’s worked out great for us!

Mazie Jemal 

First off, we split up the week and each have a set day or days that is ours to make dinner for the household. We also use an app that allows us to make a grocery list called Out of Milk, and we are all able to add to the list what we need and subtract what was purchased. My father takes on the job of shopping for the whole house, which is very sweet and helpful. But if you don’t have a volunteer, you should work out a rotating system so everyone gets a turn. We each have our own set day for laundry, so the machines are available when we need.  

Each summer we try to get my mom a gift she’d appreciate as a thank you for having us. One year we got a home organizer to come and go through her kitchen. She loved it! 

Debra Levy, ADHD/Productivity Coach 

I had a houseful, 16 people, little and big, in my space. I had to let go of my desire for order. I let my heart fill with love instead for my beautiful family and I was really proud of myself. I didn’t let messes bother me because I kept focusing on being grateful! 

I try to be aware of what’s happening in the moment. If I’m feeling a little stressed or tense I tell myself that this is temporary and that I want to make everyone feel welcome and loved. I know that they are all trying to do the best they can – especially since they have little ones. I also find that taking a pause before I react and take a few relaxing breaths helps a lot! 

Margi Erani 

My best advice is to learn to let things go. You can’t be uptight and expect all the rules you have for the summer to work throughout the whole summer. Everyone has different personalities and people will get offended no matter what. Jut just don’t take things personally. If you take it personally then you ruin your relationship with family members and those relationships are very important ones. If you think it’s hard for you, know that it’s hard for your them too. 

Another big one is don’t try to parent your siblings’ kids. Try not to overstep – when in doubt the best phrase is, “Go ask your mommy.” 

If something comes up that really bothers you that keeps you up at night, bring it up before you bottle it up and explode in the middle of the summer. Also, if you don’t bring it up, and manage not to explode, you’ll start hating that person and it’ll chip away at your relationship with them. You may not even realize what’s happened until the damage is done. 

Rachelle Levy 

I’d say it’s very important to set ground rules at the very start of summer. That way everyone is on the same page as far as the basics, such as who’s making dinner which nights, whose housekeeper is cleaning what, etc. 

For the families moving into Grandma’s house, drop the entitlement. Know that this isn’t your home even if it used to be. It’s all about respect. Throughout the summer I keep reminding myself of the money they’re saving me. Every time they get me upset, I say to myself, “My parents are doing me a kindness.” 

Esther Tawachi, Relationship/ Prevention Specialist 

In summer homes of today, multiple families bunking together creates various intricate dynamics. Every experience presents great opportunities as well as great challenges. looking through a rose-colored lens we can see the beautiful opportunities we can attain during this season. 

Grandparents should use this time to forge strong bonds with their grandchildren. Cousins can get to know and appreciate each other on a deeper level. Sisters and sisters-in-law can learn to extend themselves and become more selfless with one another. Let’s explore the road to reach these lofty yet attainable goals together. Just a few small changes in the behaviors of each household member will yield great and positive results. 

For all members of household, from the youngest to the oldest, let’s cultivate two skills that will help to facilitate smooth sailing. Here’s the mantra: (1) Let’s be flexible (2) Let’s be a mevater. (Let’s give in even if something rightfully belongs to me.) These middot are priceless. If we can role model these behaviors, our children will learn to become flexible, and having a flexible child is very desirable. Also, when we leave room for the other person, we will win on all fronts.

Here are some examples:

1. Daughter-in-law parked in a rush in mother-in-law’s spot. Mother-in-law can be flexible, judge her daughter-in-law favorably, and park on the street (with a smile, as opposed to her usual rage). 

1. It’s your sisters turn to make dinner tonight but for whatever reason she can’t do it. You can say, “Ok, I’ll be flexible, I’ll do it tonight.”

Being mevater is such a great middah in the eyes of Hashem. At the time when we are forgiving, it is such a lofty moment that we can say a prayer right then. There will be countless opportunities to flex this mevater muscle. Many times, one is clearly right, however, if we keep in mind throughout the summer the importance of being able to be mevater, we can ensure peace and harmony in the home and the overall atmosphere will be friendly.

Following these seemingly small tips can make all the difference. Most of all, you should pray that there should always be peace amongst us. May Hashem answer this prayer and may we all merit a beautiful and peaceful summer.

****** 

Wow, we have here lots of wise words and sage advice! Living with family can be difficult, or it can be as good as you choose to make it. A common theme for many was setting boundaries and schedules from the beginning of the summer, so you don’t have to address things when they have already become an issue. Using past summers to remember what worked and what needs to be worked on can really help determine what those rules and boundaries should look like for your family. Also, of course, you need to have the proper  perspective going in. Remember, it’s not about me, it’s about making the house function as a whole. This may mean taking your own feelings out of the equation and being mevater. I hope this was helpful. May you all enjoy a safe and peaceful summer! 

Until next time, 

Frieda Schweky!  

Comments on this article? I’d love to discuss! Also, if anyone needs family photos, please feel free to contact me. You can reach me on Instagram @friedaschwekyphoto or by email Friedaschweky@gmail.com.